Well, being a Saint most certainly has its perks. I was recently chosen, by the High Priests of the Episcopocatholuthodist Church, as one of the few Saints to grace the presence of the father of fathers, our Lord God Viect'orian.
For those of you unfamiliar with my book: "Before the Beginning", Viect'orian is the Christian god: Yahweh's father. Yahweh was the creator of earth and mankind, after he was cast out of omnipotence school, for failing to adhere to the teachings of the Elders. The Elders had issued warning toYahweh and forbid him to create, knowing anything he would create would be less than perfect.
Yahweh was a stubborn boy and had found favor with his father, who against the Elder's wishes, allowed the boy to create earth and mankind. Yahweh later became bored with his imperfect creation and moved onto other things. Viect'orian looks over Yahweh's creation, but does little more than keep the Sun burning.
I was a bit nervous at the thought of meeting Viect'orian, and was relieved to find he has a very sarcastic sense of humor, and is a huge fan of Sam Kinison. I was excited to learn Sam performed nightly at the Viect'orian Haven, a starclub frequented by many Saints, including the dubious St Patrick.
Viect'orian greeted me at the pearly gates, with crackers, cheese, and red wine. We sat on a cloud under the big dipper and nibbled at the cheese and crackers, while Gabriel played his harp. I was careful not to drink too much wine, for fear of losing my senses and acting an idiot in front of the Holiest Fathers.
Surprisingly it was Viect'orian himself who feverishly gulped at the wine until he passed out mid-sentence, barely into his answer to my question: "Why is mankind here?" Gabriel called for some angels, who carried the Holiest Father off, and Gabriel and I went to see Sam perform.
All in all it was a good show, Sam having some new material, about how Viect'orian is always passing out, when greeting the new arrivals.Funny stuff! Saint Manson
