One of the long-term effects of living in a dysfunctional family - as children or adults - is that we don't feel safe. This is true even if not realized. Because we don't know it, does not mean it does not exist.
Much of what we call codependency happens because we don't feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or shutting down our feelings.
We can learn to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable, as part of a nurturing, loving attitude toward ourselves.
Often, we get a feeling of safety and comfort when we admit we don't feel comfortable instead of holding it in. Being with a friend or doing something nice for ourselves helps us feel protected and loved. Sometimes, reaching out to another person helps us feel safe.
We are safe now. We can relax. Perhaps others haven't been there for us in a consistent, trustworthy way, but we are learning to be there for ourselves.
Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and comfortable.
