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What are you waiting for?
I'm tired of dreaming.
I'm through with trying.
Tired of living, yet scared of dying.
Maybe things are good for you,
but look at all that I've been through.
Look at all the pain I've won.
I bet you think that it's been fun.
You never thought I'd turn away.
You never believed you'd see this day.
Look again cuz here I go
leaving behind all I know.
Changing it all as I must do.
Not daring to stop and think things through.
Wanting to run as fast as I can,
not stopping until I understand.
Like why did I let things get this way?
Why didn't I leave yesterday?
How are things going to be,
since there is no more you and me.
I have no right
To ask of you
To hold back in finding
What I withheld from you
As I imagine you
With another, someone else
Holding him close, embracing him
Giving him all of you
As he kisses your lips
The way I once did
And you whisper in his ear
The things you promised to me
You go all the way
Like we once pretended to
To the edge of ecstasy itself
Something I could only ever imagine
As he stares into your eyes
And holds you closer than possible
He sees what I only saw covered
But fails to see all I could
The words spoken to get you
Exactly here where he wants you
Little does he know all he said
Didn't come from within, but from you
You have him where you want him
Always in control, never to be prey
I had hoped that you wouldn't be able
To bring yourself to this, because of me
Now I can only hope you'd realize
The emptiness of using another, being used
Because the way he kisses you is nothing
When compared to the why I once did
He will love you for only the night
Even sooner if your gone by mornings light
When he looks into your eyes he is consumed
Not by you, but by himself, his desire removed
That kind of rhymed, I'm thinking to myself
It's a shame I'm terrible at expressing myself
There I go again trying to pretty these words
When all I needed to do was tell you
I love you.
In her mind He belongs to her In her mind She belongs to him In a crowded room He gazes into her eyes Like no one else exists He then turns his eyes To another walking by In her mind From across the room She can still feel his touch From the night before Then she watches him Touch the small of her back As she walks on by In her mind Holding hands While walking through She feels him pull away And reach behind him To hold another's hand In her mind His passionate kisses Melt her to the core She buries her face in his neck Over his shoulder He kisses another In her mind Her eyes are a pale shade of green His eyes only see her In her mind In her mind He belongs to her In her mind She belongs to him
WHAT IS SHE ... TO YOU ? What is she to you , just a pretty face ? Something to pass the time , in this God forsaken place Do you think of her , when I'm out of view ? Am I a welcomed luxury , or just a body that will do ? Do you look forward to time , with me away giggling as I plan , but is something you just say ? Do you know when I lay , in our bed each night it's in your arms I dream , that are wrapped around me tight ? I'm afraid these dreams are shared , by she and I , of you And really nightmares of our reality , coming , shinning thru Does she suspect , or will like me she learn passions blazed this hot, leave one stood on bridges to burn
Annoying Affections of mine
For reason I do not understand
For reason I should have understood
but which do not get inside my head
or which are unacceptable on my heart
I suppose that is why it is said
Being blinded by love; literally
Sarcastically; Seriously.
Annoying---- that is the exact word;
the word to describe my feelings;
my feelings which I suppose as
emotions of affection
but Annoying --- this is to her
the woman I show
my emotions of affection
Texts carrying my Number
Mails sent from my address
Phone calls with my voice
Letters with my initials
Best wishes with my deepest regards
if anything is connected to Me
My and Mine
annoying--- that is the exact word;
Argh! Annoying affections of mine!
Affectionate chills
Flames of annoyance
burns these hearts: hers and mine!
If I'm annoyed at you...
SO what!
It doesn't mean I dont wanna be your friend,
It just means you hurt me and I'm annoyed.
If I'm hurt...
Well just let me have my space and I'll get over myself,
Always have,
Always will.
Your words begin to mean nothing to me, You continue to lie under your breathe. Had me convinced that you were different, Yet here I am, with a broken trust. My heart torn out from the center of my chest, Ripped into a million pieces. You promised me over and over, That you would change for the better. But I soon came to realize, That your no different then the first time we met. Each event replayed itself, And each time you betrayed me. Again I am standing here in this empty hole, Listening to the echoes of your promises fade away. I really thought you would change for me, I really believed that you cared for me. Oh, how wrong I was, To put my trust in the likes of you. The pain I am feeling now, Is the pain I’ll forever retain. Over and over again, I am left with nothing. No matter what I do, I always get the blunt end of the stick. Normally I would say I’m to blame, But sadly I do not deserve this claim. My eyes have reopened, To never again let you gain my trust. In the world we live in now, Has very little, if any. Able bodies that I can trust, Is it so, that only I can earn this trust? I don’t believe I’ll ever truly understand the meaning of trust, I won’t live by this word. For its meaning is far to easily broken, And very difficult to fix. No longer will I allow trust to govern my life, No longer will I allow your love in my life. I stand here alone, With a broken trust. My last words to whom it may concern, My trust in you was a privilege. You continued to break the very string, That held my trust for you. In the end, You betrayed me with more than I can say. Left me, With a broken trust and a broken heart
The first time I saw him,my heart turned on fire.My body was filled, with lust and desire.His eyes pierced my soul,I fell to the ground.In my mind I knew,that my love was bound.His eyes was so sparkling,his touch so divine.From that moment onI wished he was mine.
When I’m all alone,out in the night.he comes along,and finds the light.When I am sad,and life’s no fun.he will be thereto be my sun.In every moment,of my life.I always wish,he was my life.
After this is said,you maybe know.That this special man,is my true love.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, I fell in love. And there was laughing and funny breaths and happiness. There was much rejoicing. And then, SHUT! Over. Gone. Dead. Completely cut off. Disconnected. The taste still fresh in my mouth. The smell still on my skin. The feeling left in my fingertips. But I can't get that feeling back. I may spend my entire life trying to get back into that Polariod. Fighting all the way. The best thing I have ever known. Even now, years later, anytime I come close to it I want to dive in. Sink or swim. I don't care. I would give anything to be even in the room next to it. Across the street. A breath away. Remembering what I never let myself forget. Looking someone in the eye and knowing; another time, another place, it is right there. In front of me. Within reach. Just open my fingers and wrap them around it. Hold it tightly. And never let it go. Never. Never. I fought. I fought hard. But only with myself. Sometimes I wonder if I should have fought harder. With him. With it. Tried to work it out. It all made sense for about fifteen seconds. Just enough time to say, ?You're right.? What the hell was I thinking. Why didn't I say . . . . something. My line of thinking was ?if he doesn't want it, I don't want to push it.? Why try to keep him where he doesn't want to be? But he did want to be there. he had to. he was happy. There were nights I cried. When we were together and then I took him home and on the way home I cried. Not because I was sad, or even missed him already, but because I was happy. So happy I couldn't contain myself. I talked to God. Whether I believed in him or not. And I said thank you. Over and over. Again and again. I couldn't believe it was real. That I could actually touch him. Kiss him. Look into his perfect blue eyes and see myself. But I could. I had seen him before. IN the coffee shop. And I said to myself ?I would give up everything if he would even turn my way.? he was light years beyond me. Another plane. Another class. Confident, beautiful, at peace. So sure. Not for me. I couldn't even dream it. No way could I ever make it real. Did he feel what I felt? I have to believe he did. If I didn't it would be so hard to breathe. So hard to get up in the morning. So hard to be. No one will be him. No one will have those blue eyes. No one will have that one lock of hair hiding all his secrets. And no one, ever again (shudder) will make me whole. Not like that. I'm scared. I'm so scared. What if it is real? What if never? What if I'm right? Do you ever wonder, do you ever ask yourself, ?can I live without love?? Can I open my eyes? I'm afraid to. There is a feeling. You know it. This trembling completeness. This warmth. That makes everything big. And you are ten feet tall all the time. Everyone is looking at you. You are the one. The one i chose. The one he calls when everything is wrong, and when everything is right! he is the one who reaches out for you. For me. he once said ? I need you.? I was done. That was what I was looking for all my life. Those words. For something so pure as this creature to need ME! Could not be real. Could not be my life. But it was. Of course, it WAS! It isn't anymore. It is gone. So far away. And it will never be there again. I see little pieces of it everywhere. A glance, a smile, a touch. I feel desperate. I feel alone. So much out there. But I only want to hear one thing. Not sure what. But I will know. If I ever get the chance. I will stretch out my fingers, grasp it tightly, and NEVER LET IT GO! But till then; I will be here. With my open hand. And my desperate heart. And my cold skin. Slowly, regrettably, forgetting just enough that I can survive from one day to the next. To remember is to suffer. To see what was and then look at what is. To hear a voice, feel my heart stop. Watch my breath studder in the cold. he. he can be almost anyone. he can read me like a book. I will open to any page for anyone. Cover to cover. Nothing to hide. Not the fear, the pain, or the hopelessness. It is all there. Large print ; easy to read. Secrets dissolve in tears. Dissipating into honesty, innocence, need. I was lost and now I'm found. I was blind but now I see. Maybe I don't want to. ..
