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Kenners's blog: "Rants and Poems"

created on 05/16/2014  |  http://fubar.com/rants-and-poems/b358586

Sacred

Sacred

I'm desperate to do something, but what I do not know.

I keep walking... pressing into the driven snow.

Ice lent from a wonderland deep inside my head.

Certainly not natural the world around me dead.

I wonder if I wonder.  I wonder if I don't.

If it's because I couldn't or simply because I won't.

I need a new melody to keep me feeling sane.

I need a new path to walk along this crazy lane.

Oh God give me a song to sing in this emptiness.

Let me be at peace inside despite being in this mess.

Words still confound me about what they really mean.

Words like cess that mean something altogether more unseen.

By themselves they mean one thing, and with others nothing but...

I wonder again if I can move on from living in this rut.

The chance that I can't leave is something still to fear.

The idea that I could forever still be trapped in here.

Trapped to me is a hell forever longing for the end.

Even if you share this space with a loving friend.

Instead I want an enemy stronger than myself.

One to pick it up and bash me with that huge ass shelf.

Splinter it to pieces across my tender face.

Split the skin like fire that burns it all like mace.

I want to see the broken pieces of my fragile skin.

I want to claw through piles of my solemn sin.

I'm here because I hate him and I can't forget.

Maybe because I won't kiss his ass instead I only spit.

I bite away strips inside of my blaspheming mouth.

With a bloody curdle I scream of going south.

I wrap myself in misery and speak of soft despair.

I fill the room with loneliness and stare from behind my hair.

In my mind I'm a horror that you don't want to test.

Though, in this reality I'm normal much like all the rest.

The only difference in me is my one true saving grace.

I can't see anything when in mirrors others see my face.

I just see the feeling staring through my eyes.

I can feel the hatred thinking of when this dies.

I feel a curl at the corner of my rotten lips.

Then a little twinge that moves down passed my hips.

It exits from my body and moves down into the ground.

It sniffs along the bloody trail like a determined hound.

Find the truth buried deep down away from me.

It's so solemnly buried there it's no wonder I couldn't see.

It's hidden here like a secret kept from us for all time.

The reason it's so sacred is a little more sublime.

It's not because it's special.  It's not because it's here.

This hole is not special, but it lends us all it's fear.

The sacred is not knowing what will come of us.

So, keep on being quiet and do not make a fuss.

When the end draws near it won't be as you thought.

It won't matter how you struggled or how much that you fought...

Pushing through the obstacles will not win you points.

The pain that you feel all down through your joints...

they mean nothing more than that you were here.

Maybe that one notion is the only one that's dear...

Nothing will save you.

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