Fubar Blog Posts 4

You're Not Being Stalked Get Over Yourself.
Girls always complain about guys stalking them. It's usually to make them appear more sought after. It's a total jock for status. It doesn't work. When a girl talks about her many stalkers, a guy doesn't think, "Wow, this girl sure is a prize to be won." All girls think is, "Shouldn't have slept with him, slut." And all guys think is, "Wow, this cock tease is nothing but fat and trouble. I'm outta here." Most of the time it's made-up bullshit when a girl complains about a guy stalking her. And even if she does actually think she's being stalked, it's usually her fault anyway so she has no reason to complain. Usually when girls think they're being stalked, the guy who's "stalking" has no idea what's going on. This is because girls do not make it clear to guys how they feel. A girl will talk to a guy on the phone, act nice, laugh, flirt, and then when she hangs up, she'll bitch to the people around her - "Oh my god that guy is so creepy. He is such a stalker. That guy is such a creep.

What A Lucky Clown I Am
HEY,hows it going my names eggz and im a clown,lol sometimes i walk when i should run, sometimes i run when i should crawl some times i hear but dont listen, sometimes i listen when i should speak some times i speak but dont see, but i look and i am glad that your still here with me i love you.

Vacations
starting to plan another vacation in either august or september to San Antonio for 2 weeks again. Looking forward to getting it all set up and actually going. :) Ok, so I cant find a condo in San Antonio on such a short notice. So I am starting to look in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I am also pondering The New England area. Like Vermont, Massachuesettes, New Hampshire, Maine, Connecticut, New York, Rhode Island. I really want to go some where i have never been before. But it is just kind of hard to lock down a condo for two weeks in such a short time. Will update when i have it totally figured out and booked. OK, so i have it totally booked now. I am in myrtle beach from Sept 5th to the 12th. then cocoa beach, florida from the 12th to the 19th. then back home to the D.

Sexual Sign
Your Sex Sign is... You're dreamy and romantic, with an active sexual imagination. You'll fantasize about something before trying it, and you love role play. Sex is an artistic expression, and you love to be the traditional victim in distress.Pisces, you are dreamy, romantic, and old fashioned. You are the sexual sign with the most active fantasy life. You will go to any length to act out your favorite sexual fantasy... And you are an expert role player.You love to be seduced in the most tender ways - And can seduce others according to their fantasies. You adapt to lovers' moods and leave them breathless with intensity.You are moody, and you can get wounded easily. Your gentle spirit needs protection - and usually gets it. Few can resit your capcity for love.You are mostly attracted to artistic, moody types. Your versitility makes you perfect for any lover who likes to act out sex fantasies. You'll go along with almost anything, as long as you get to play the victim.You are

Movie Review
Well I seem to have set my standards a little too high, judging by the previews I was way too excited for this movie. Im talking about Star Trek 2009. The movie was directed by JJ Abrams the creater of the Fox television series Fringe. In short you take Fringe, Plus some elements of Star Wars and add an overdose of crack, you got Star Trek 2009. Story begins with death of Kirks father. He became captain of a starship for only few minutes buying his crew some time to escape from an attack of a romulan ship. Among that crew was his pregnant wife who went into childbirth upon his death. Im not so sure of how the plot was supposed to happen. But theres a reason for the timeline shift making the storyline almost completly off base from the story we all know, also take into consideration that the origional cast of star trek is either old or dead and cant really fit into this movie. Ok my next topic, The Enterprise. What the fuck is this. The designs I saw looked pretty

Drag Me To Hell
My frined Kim and I went to see Drag me to Hell last night. I think it is probably one of Raimi's best movies. Now let me just say this movie is more disgusting than scary lol..I can handle tons of blood, limbs being cut off, necrophilia, and all kinds of other nasty stuff in movies, but......when you get into the realms of old ladies bringing out their disgustingly nasty dentures out and lying them on a table, said lady spitting up greenish/yellow phlegm, embalming fluid running from said dead lady into some undead womans mouth, said lady loosing her dentures and trying to gum another woman and saliva is flying everywhere, well I get grossed out LOL.. Call me strange haha...Go see the movie though, it really is pretty cool, but lots of "omg no she didn't" moments LOL And a lot of ppl making disgusted sounds haha...Just be careful what you are eating in this movie, enjoy!

Stupid Ignorent People !!
It's funny how people on this site just meet and believe the person they just met on here about people on there friends list ..They believe the lies they tell them about people then they block them without asking the person that is being talked about and being told lies about.. Any person who believe someone they dont know telling lies about a person who is a friend supposedly on ur friends list is an idiot , stupid and ignorent themselfs .... This site has jealous ,ignorant immature people who like drama .... people grow up this is the internet ... there are alot of fake ass people here that dont have their real pics and need to get a real life.

Love Within
Love Within As I sat down remembering My first meeting with you I can help but to wonder... Is there something within That makes me stand out From your other friends ? You have told me then... I am different Though I am thankful but My mind still seeks What makes me special For you to keep me, Here with you... Something in my mind keeps coming back… Can’t help but ask Is there love within your heart? This is the question I wanna ask… Within your heart, you told me “I wanna keep you, For I want you to be my true friend and lover too” These words make my heart beat faster Feeling the love within… Though I know It is just a long distance love affair But still... there is LOVE WITHIN…

Potions And Brews From The Crock-pot Witch - Apple Cider Communion Brew
On the Eve of Samhain in early Scotland, the witches and pagans of the day would take a chalice of specially-brewed ale and wade out into the sea surf up to their waists. Speaking the words of invocation to the sea gods and goddeses, they would slowly pour their potion into the waters, divining protection and blessing. Bring home the magick and brew for yourself a most wonderful potion. Health, love and wisdom await all who savor this enchanting juice. You will need: 1 Gallon Apple Cider (home-made or locally prepared, of course!) 1 Plump Orange 1 Large and Deliciously Tart Red Apple 1 Handful of Sweet Rose Petals 3 Cinnamon Sticks 1/8 Teaspoon Nutmeg Now... Before you begin you must know to NEVER use metal, lest it be an iron cauldron. Do you not have an iron cauldron to use? Or a cast-iron dutch oven? Or have you (gasp) broken your most prized cauldron? Then today... We shall improvise in the best way fitting ~ and you shall become a Crock-Pot Witch like me! Just warm y

My Interal Radiation Doctor!
David Hornback, M.D., received his medical degree and completed his residency in radiation oncology at Indiana University School of Medicine, and served his internship through the Transitional Residency Program at St. Vincent Hospital& Healthcare Center Dr. Hornback specializes in stereotactic radiosurgery, high and low dose rate brachytherapy and prostate seed implants. He has extensive clinical research experience and maintains memberships in a number of professional affiliations, including the American Society for Therapeutic Radiology and Oncology, the American Society of Clinical Oncologists and the American Medical Association. This is just one of the doctors thats taken care of me throughout my sickness & I have to say that he is a very good looking man... I've told him time after time to come home with me but his face gets all red an what not but I know it's wrong in a way because he may lose his JOB in which case would suck ass..... Cause he has shown the up most respect

Fwd: Word For Today (he Chose To Save You He Chose To Save You! 'he Saved Others...himself He Cannot Save' Matthew 27:42 When The Pastor
word for today (He chose to save you He chose to save you! 'He saved others...himself he cannot save' MATTHEW 27:42 When the pastor introduced the visiting speaker, an elderly preacher walked to the pulpit and told this story: 'A father, his son, and his son's friend were out sailing when a storm overturned their boat sweeping all of them into the ocean. Grabbing a rescue line, in a split second the father had to make a excruciating decision- which boy to throw the other end to and which one to sacrifice. He knew his son had accepted Christ and his friend hadn't. Anguished, the father yelled, 'I love you son,' and threw the rope to his son's friend. Sadly, his son's body was never recovered. The father knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus and couldn't bear the thought of his friend facing eternity without Christ.' At the end of the service a teenage boy said to the preacher, 'What father in his right mind would sacrifice his son's life i

Tired Of Dell Computers
Am getting more and more frustrated with this POS every day and cant figure out how to get it repaired (damn warranty expired before all the crap started-murphy's law). i finally found the COA disc for XP (not sure if its the one for this POS or the laptop) but not able to figure out HOW to use the disc to repair XP so i can start up regularly instead of having to use SAFE mode with networking to function. if you or someone you know can assist...let me know before i go to home depot and get the biggest hammer i can find... JAK

Real Conversations
I ge a little irritated when I am trying to have a human conversation with someone and they are on the internet not paying attention to anything you have to say. Come on now the internet can be a good sorce of intertainment when your bored or informative when you want or need to know something. Don't get me wrong I like the internet and fubar alot, I also love chatting with ppl on here and getting to know someone that I will most likely never meet, but when I get the chance to have a real conversation with someone I would prefer that over the internet. I guess I am just irritated because I was trying to have a real conversation with someone and they totally blew me off and when I read what they other conversation was about it irritated me more. so I guess I will spend the day not talking when there is no internet around because saying anything won't get me anywhere and it won't change anything in the end. now my question is am I being childish or is it normal to want real conversation?

Misunderstanding
There must be some misunderstanding There must be some kind of mistake I waited in the rain for hours And you were late Now it's not like me to say the right thing But you could've called to let me know I checked your number twice, don't understand it So I went home Well I'd been waiting for this weekend I thought that maybe we could see a show Never dreamed I'd have this feeling Oh but seeing you is believing That's why I don't know why You didn't show up that night There must be some misunderstanding There must be some kind of mistake I was waiting in the rain for hours And you were late Since then I've been running around trying to find you I went to the places that we always go I rang your house but got no answer Jumped in my car, I went round there Still don't believe it He was just leaving There must be some misunderstanding There must be some kind of mistake...

No One Looks Like That
Why do people say this? Is this model not real then? If no one looks like that I must not be real either. Purely a figment of your imagination...(you sure are creative). The people who say this have not seen me. Yet, beauty comes in all shapes, forms, proportions. There is such thing as me. Please never say no one looks like that to your young people. Sincerely Emily AKA Doll

Why Deb Has To Be Away So Much For Now
***Your Prayers Are Truly Needed*** This is my Friend Deb! She is one of the most Amazing, Caring,Loving , Woman i know on Fubar! I am Honored to have been able to meet her on here! She has a heart of gold and is always looking out for me and helping me and many others out in many ways! & This woman NEVER ask for anything in return! Deb has gone through so Much In Life! And has been through many of lifes hardships and has pulled through them amazingly! She is a very Strong Woman!At the young age of 32 She was terribly beat by two men with a baseball bat! This Pain that One night has Continued on to this day! She got severe brain trauma which led to a build up of fluid which requires a shunt to be put in every year! Debs Daughter gave me this information as she knows i'm close to her mom and wanted me to know what was going on and that Deb will be going into surgery very soon and is in a lot of pain right now. This from her Daughter Tasha......... "i dont know how she get

Song Dedicated For Her
This song is dedicated to my Grandmother who passed away may 6 2009. She was the one who took care of me since i was born and made me the man i am now. There was and is never a way to pay her back for what she had did for me but all i know is this she wanted me to live a life where im happy and i am. I am sad and yet im happy that she is not suffering anymore up there with the lord looking down on us smiling. Theres never a day i forget about her constantly thinking about her. She was the best person in the world you could have and im glad god gave me her. Te amo abuela tu eres mi inspriasion tu me dites los mejores anios que nadien me pueda aser te amo muncho y te misto tanto. Descansa en pas abuela un dia te voy a midar cos dios y pudemos estar huntos por siempre. Este cansion es para ti. Rest In Peace Adela Parra (Grandma) 1924-2009 She was a great Mother,Sister,Grandmother,Great grandmother the best in the world I love you forever.

Another Weird Thought
i wonder how fast it takes for one to go absolutly insane from solitude, a week a month or years. if the state of inertia is to be an un-interuped state of action, thought , emotion , or a consistancy of property, then is it to be asked when inertia is no longer needed or wanted, if that is the question in the first place , or will the thought of a lone survivour with a mind torn between a darness inwitch you can not escape and a light inwitch surounds and comforts them be a more or less blinding peace of mental inuety ? who will have an answer to shake this annoying inertia of mine? will it be some one expected , or some compleat stranger? i guess that just like a tootsie roll , the world may never (k)now.

Promises To Keep
What would life be like without spring's warmth after a long and cold winter, rest after an exhausting and difficult day, achievement after an intense and tiring struggle? Promises of the reward to come mark your life. In fact, life is a promise in the process of being kept. You may wonder at times if your life is no longer a bright promise. You may lie awake in the night hours rehearsing your regrets that this me be so. But God is the great promise keeper. You can count on what he has promised. He is already aware of every poor choise, every lost oppertunity, and every wasted second. He knows, and your mistakes grieve him. He takes you as you are and restores hope to your life. Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. PSalm 119:50 NLT God i will focus my eyes on your faithulness rather than on my own failures. I will look to you to help me fufill the promise of all that my life can be. Amen.

My---your
no foreplayno warningno sexual energy exchangedwhen I unzip your jeanspush them downtoss panties asidelay you on the side of the bedspread your pink lipsexposing your clitslowly circling with my tonguesmelling your excitementlicking just the clitup and downtwo strokes a secondsteady rhythmfeeling it growthrobbing hardsliding down to entertasting you fullysucking your engorged lipsback to clitstrong relentless tongueflicking against youthree male fingers enterso tight and wetlicking, licking, lickinga finger probes your anusslowly till halfwayfeeling your contractionswanting to cumneeding to cumpleading to cumbegging to cumhips like a carnival ridewanting, needing, pleading, beggingfighting back and losingsurrendering to the wicked tonguemoaning, groaning, screamingwaves of pleasuretingling of toes and fingertipsnipples ice hardpussy pushing my fingers outwetting the bed with cumturning your overfor a well deserved spankinga butt warming spankingintermixed with fingerssliding inside pin

Awakened~
Awakened by a kissshe feels warmthslide down to sleepynipples stirred by moutha line due south of kissesfeathery licks seekingsoft folds of her sexher body opens to touchmelts with each caressof seeking tongue nowlapping wide against sexshe shuts her eyesseductively rolls with the heated rhythm a curtain castupon all but pleasurewinding tighter about her sacred chakratill she pleadsfor Master's voiceto allow release ~W.H. 2009~

Circle Of Kisses~
Circles of kissessurrounds passioninescapable moansbleed hot against skinPressed downsmothered by lustfingers lockpalm to palm"Now," you begto be filledmade wholetaken hardLike a primal druma metered beatbetween silky thighsa musk wet wonderA knock againstflooded gatepink lips encirclea sweet burn slidesInside to hiltof soulful beinga withering wenchlocks her legsPulls deepera smear of kissas lips rockin a tossed seaOf unbridled lusta squeeze withinimpaled, then spitto trembling slitNails etch each strokehips heave to meetbone deeply buriedabove puddled sheetCome with meride this tide togethera duet of gaspssweet unwindingLeaving two breathlesssharing one lovetill the last star winkspast the end of time ~W.H. 2009~

The Invitation
The Invitation It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoi

About Me
some of my few friends on here know, im not the same like i used to be i changed, this change will last forever just like all those other changes i made in my life before, for those who dont want nth to do with me cuz of it all i can say im sorry, to the rest who can live with it i can say i thank ya i will keep ya in mind and i will say hi from time to time, viva la changes more r to come always

How Words Can Last A Lifetime - Bob Greene, Cnn
(This article was originally posted on the CNN webpage, at How Words Can Last a Lifetime) Editor's note: CNN contributor Bob Greene is a best-selling author whose current book is "When We Get to Surf City: A Journey Through America in Pursuit of Rock and Roll, Friendship, and Dreams."(CNN) -- The enduring moments of our lives, the ones that stay with us the longest, don't necessarily make the headlines.The other afternoon I was talking with a woman by the name of Virginia Florey. She's 80 years old; she has lived in Midland, Michigan, all her life.She was telling me that when she was 11 years old, she and her best friend, Charlotte Fenske, would walk to school together every morning. At the corner of East Carpenter Street and Haley Street, across from a Pure Oil filling station, there was a small grocery -- Thompson's grocery store, it was called."We would get there at around 7:30," she told me. "It must have opened up at 7 a.m., because the grocer would always be sweeping the floor w

How Should I Start This?
Ever since I joined the Fu,I've noticed that there's not too many chat rooms that offer a place to chill and talk about stoner shit,y'know?So I was wondering...I've seen peoples profiles that say they're the owner of club this or that,and I always wonder how they became the owner of that place,y'know?Cuz I'd like to do that,start up a club and be the owner of it,while my kitten is the co-owner with me.If anyone would like to help me in telling me how to go about doing it,or to show me how,I'd greatly appreciate it!!Somebody let me know,alright?

He Said .. She Said
He said he SAYS wants out of the mariage i cant keep a job... i "raped" him to get my youngest son... tricked him to have my lil girl. i wasnt there for him when he was n the hospital..(have /had a job way)... i pushed him away after i had the kids... put all that together i had pushed him into getting a gf... She said its been 2yrs already and no divorce i can keep a job but he would ask me to quit my job bc my work would interfer with his... so i would trying to be a good wife and trying to keep my husband happy. ok as for me getting pregant with my younger son .... i didnt rape him ..u cant rape the willing... and for my lil girl i told him i didnt have any birthcontol , yet we did it anyways... i didnt get a job b/c the doctor said he was going to die and i wanted to be there if he did.. i didnt want him to die alone. i was depressed after my youngest son was born and it got worst when i was pregagnt with my lil girl. then he told me he had a gf that he loves he

Im A Puppet
She was holding a gun in her hand Thinking about the life she had No one was able to understand Why she was always so sad... Black tears were falling down She was about to die Almost about to hit the ground She just wanted to fly... She did not choose this road Someone else was in control But until she wasn't told She believed it was her soul... She was like a puppet Hanging on black strings She was a puppet But without the wings... No one could have helped her It was simply too late A pretty doll forever... Being a puppet was her fate... She couldn't live on her own She needed to be told what to be But she wanted to go home She wanted to brake free... So she put the gun to her head And cried her last tear Very soon she will be dead Death was always near... She was like a puppet Frozen as ice inside She was a puppet Before her suicide...

That 1 Nite
If we could spend a night together, I'd take you to the roof of a 100 story building, when the rain is pouring and a breeze is present... We would lay on the cold asphalt ground and look at the clouds, wiping away the rain drops that fall on our faces... I'd get up, take you to the fence, gaurding the edge of the roof, and we'd look at the beautiful view of the sleeping city... You will tell me those magical words: I love you... I'd step over the fence, turn around, look into your scared eyes, and jump... If you really love me, you would jump, too, right after me, so we could be together, forever... But do you really love me? No... That's why I'm dead, and you moved on... I still live on this roof, and every time it rains at night, I keep on rewinding that romantic evening, when you lied to me... You lied that you love me...

Dear Daddy
He entered the room and stood there staring, His brain interpreting what he saw. In the middle of the room-the chair on its side, and above it his daughter-2 feet off the floor. She was hung by her neck with a scarf from the fan, Pale and naked, lifeless and cold. Her stomach and thighs were covered in scratches, some of them new. Some of them old. He cut her down, moved her body to her bed, He wrapped her up and hugged her tight. The tears were pooling down his cheeks, He held her close all through the night. It was as the sun came through the window, his gaze was led to the desk and the note. He stood and collected the piece of paper, and read what his belov-ed daughter last wrote. "Dear Daddy," it started, two words all alone, "I'm sorry." was all that was on the next line. "He touched me Daddy, I'm dirty and cursed, and now i have something that's living inside." "I cant love it daddy-this tumor, this growth, Ive clawed at my tummy. Want to get it out. don't blame yourself Dad

R.i.p Heather
I watched a girl, who sat behind me in class. She was never happy, she never seemed to laugh. She was alone, always said bittersweet lies. But i saw something that day, something sparkle in her eyes. Her smile was pasted, it seemed genuinely true. Everyone thought she was fine, but only i knew. I followed her home, made sure she was alright. I left her at her door, then stayed outside her window all night. I saw the knife, I saw the gun. That was when i knew, it was time to run. Run to the girl, who caught my eye. The first time i saw her, And she told me that lie. I grabbed her arm, she started to yell. I let her go, Then brought out my cell. I called the police, asked them to come right away. to save my girl from this sad sad day. One year later, I stood before her grave. I laid down a final rose, and my heart naturally forgave. No more wishing, no more tears. My girl is finally happy, after all these years.

You Know, Just For Fun :) (bad Grammar)
I've just been layin in my bed, trippin in my head, wondering if tomorrow I'll be alive or if I'll be dead. Thinkin the whole time, 'was it that fun? was it worth it?' I can give you all the answers but I know they won't be perfect. You won't like the way they sound, I was lost and now I'm found; I don't need your pity I'll pick myself up off the ground. I made some mistakes, got back peddled in the race, but now I'm fuckin back bitch get the fuck out my face. I know what to do, Lady Apples comin through, you know I lace them rhymes with that sticky through and through. Just give it some time, let it resonate in your mind, and allow the addictive juices leak down your motherfuckin spine. See that bitch? Now you're mine.

2 Those I Missed!
""""""Love you dayYOU HAVE 20 MINUTES TO TELL 5 OF YOUR SWEETEST FRIENDS THAT YOU LOVE THEM (INCLUDING ME)SO .... "I LOVE YOU"!GO! AND TAG YOU'RE IT!!YOU HAVE BEEN CONSIDERED ONE OF MY SWEETEST FRIENDS ON MY LIST.... XOXOXO.L*O*V*E* Y*O*U*! Today is love u day. Send 2 everyone you love. Whether it's real love or friend love.Ur spoiled if you get 4 back"""""

Conflict
How do I say what I wish mind conflicting with heart internal turmoil ripping me apart If I could but remove my heart and speak with just my mind then I am unsure would I still be kind but if I were to remove my mind and try to speak from my heart then I would truly be lost for I wouldn't know where to start so many words I wish I could say so many things I wish to do but I would hope to start by saying I am there for you I would give you my love and be there till the end for no matter what I will always be your friend I am unable to speak what I need to say so I try to relay it in every song but these feelings have me torn for I feel that they are wrong Misplaced somehow though they come from the heart I feel it in my soul and it is tearing me apart If I could but speak when we are near then I would say I love you but there is to much fear fear I will screw up fear of what I will do you have all of my love but I'm afraid I would

Love For A Son
I am back on Fubar after about a year! I wanted to take time to say hi to old friends and new ones. Last year I found out my son who all my friends know as Dylly Pickles was diag. with Megalablastoma "brain cancer". Life from that point on changed, I really had to step back and find out what was really inmportant to me. Pickles has finished radiation and is currently still getting Cemo treatments every week. MRIs still look clear and the baseball size tumor on his brain steam was removed. Please everyone keep my son and I in your thoughts and prayers! TY and stop by and say hi.....all my friends should get this if I remmber correctly. Take care fulords and we love u! "Mr A G H"

From The Heart
AS I SIT HERE THINKING OF THE DAYS I GET TO MEET EVERY BODY...I HAVE TALKED TO MANY OF PPL ON LINE...THIS DAY IS COMING VERY FAST I AM VERY HAPPY I GET TO MEET EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU...FAMILY IS EVERY THING TO ME....I HAVE NOT THAT MANY FAMILY TO ME RIGHT NOW..I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE MY REAL FATHER IS AND I DONOT CARE TO KNOW..AS FOR MY MOTHER WELL LETS JUST SAY I CARE WE ARE NOT ON SPEAKING TERM I AM STILL I LIL MAD AT HER..MYADPT MOM I LOVE HER VERY MUCH..

Hurt
Pick the thorns from my heart and let the cruelty bleed from my soul. My soul now weeps with agony and pools of sorrow. The warmth draws cold as I lay in the deepest, darkest of shadows covering the light that dwells. Darkness pulls me in and creeps my soul into empty voids. Love binds me in darkness. Not the love I bare, but the love that bares me. Does love stay cruel to the pure of heart, or does it betray the loyalty of soul?

Trust Me
Be sure who was upon the time my loveBe sure that I am the spring of all your roadsI am the school of your lessonsI am the sun of your beautiful morningI am the moon of your romantic nightsI am the spring of your rosesI am the summer which gave the colure of your caramel skinI am the autumn which your hair tresses felled forI am the winter which took its warmth of your breathsTrust me that I am the only one who know youThat I craved your thoughtsAnd I shaped your personalityI am… I am…. I am…I said it too muchBut if I was all that for youTrust me and be sureThat you are my eve which I left heaven for - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -W.B: FM

My Drunken Rant
ALrite listen u cocksuckers. I'm drunk as fuck right now and I don't give a rat's ass right now. I'm pissed about men cuz they fucken suck. They tell u one thing but then u tell the truth and they get all fucken weird and shit. What the fuck is with that?? If u feel something about someone u shouldn't care, yaddamean?? I'm trippin due to this idiot and I have feelings for the dumbass. Well now he is being all weird and shit. I just don't know... I'm also pissed cuz the economy sucks and everyone is losing there jobs. In like 10 years we are gonna be homeless. WTF?? You think Obama could help us out. He promises this and that and doesn't come through. WTF?? But besides all that, I am feelin pretty good, and I'm having a fucking blast. I'm DRUNK bitches and I really don't care right now... So party hardy and keep it real. I'm out! PEACE!

Family Togetherness
An older woman recently returned from her hometown in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled. "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered." The friend was aghast. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?" "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones.

Sex Drugs Rock And Roll
Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Weed, speed, birth control. Life is a bitch so, fuck the world lets get high. If at first you dont succeed try again with better weed. Well damn the effects of being a teenager kicking I cant remember the rest. A poem can mean many different things. That little part of a poem is something my friends and I use to say when we were younger. Looking back at younger days always seems like they were the best, even when you didnt think so back then, but back to the poem. You can get many different things just from those two lines. Just all depends on what type of person you are. That has always been my point though. You can read anything some one wrote a poem, letter, or a short story. The thing is you will never truely know what it is the writer is trying to say unless you ask them what they mean. Thats life though you never know who a person is unless you ask. Same thing with your wants and needs. Is that really what you want or is it just something you have grown

Hard Goodbyes
She said "I wish I made you feelThe way you make me feelI wish that you could seeWhat you do to me" I said "I'm sorry that I'm brokenAnd all the words I spokeIf I could turn back timeThings would still be right" But sometimes there's no wordsNo way to fix the hurtNo matter how hard you tryThere's no easy way to say goodbye So I gathered up my thingsGave her back the ringAnd with a kiss on her faceI said "In my heart you will stay" Cuz sometimes there's no wordsNo way to fix the hurtNo matter how hard you tryThere's no easy way to say goodbye

Intimate Strangers
I haven't come here for forgivenessI don't expect your sympathySome bridges burn beyond recognitionSome chances aren't meant to be But in this life of quiet desperationIn my moments of timeless indecisionIn the language between weeping and angerLies the soothing comfort of intimate strangers I am naked here...in this roomI feel the spotlight I embrace its warmthI share my scars...my open woundsDriving my demons back into the dark And in this life of quiet desperationIn my moments of timeless indecisionIn the language between weeping and angerLies the soothing comfort of intimate strangers Eyes close...light fades away...fades awayNight goes...hollow words we say...fade away

Fragile
Fragile You have me there standing in the darkness with my heart on my sleeve and the key in my hand... And you took it and slammed it against the wall still pumping full of blood and veins surging with heartache I picked it up and inserted in back in my soul which left me with a fragile heart Why does love has to hurt....why does love have to ache with tears falling down my face As the rain falls and the key rusted and crumbled I put up this wall inside me Protecting anything and everything that would hurt me I want to open it---but I can't I'm so fuckin scared I'm scared you would rip it out again... Break my heart into pieces and have to replace the missing parts

It's A Boy!!
Zachary Neil was born May 29th 2009 @5:36pm He was 6 pounds 13 ounces and 20 inches long. Came home yesterday and he and I are doing just fine. Will be putting up pics for everyone to see him very soon!! untill next time laters! Cin

Post Weekend
the weekends over. Now what? There was no crazy drama over the weekend. I think this is a huge feat, Like none at all. None from me none fromt he bys, none from my mom ( well maybe a little from the parental unit) but thats half expected. If I wasnt a snappy bitch with my mother god knows who I ould be a snappy bitch with.I found out my sister whos close to 30 now her husband (soon to be) got accepted for med school. This is amazing and hes been trying to get in for 5 years so congrats to him. But my sister stop travelling to settle down and start a family. med school = 6 years and a wholle lot of money. I can see where shelly is coming from. 36 and only then just getting back to where they are now (which is perfect for starting a family, they both have good jobs and no debt) Also there was thunder and lighting the other night. it made me wanna rip off my clothes and go make out with krys in the rain. mmmmmm, it was cold though so I settled for cuddles on the couch. One thing that s

Liberals, Only For The Gain Of Themselves.
I hear it everyday, not from Conservatives. It is the ringing in my ear of the leftist agenda. It incorporates everyone to pay higher taxes at some point. Not yet however, they want to tax American citizens to control everything and everyone. Where is our leader. Our real Conservative leader. Not a leftist leaning Republican, but a real Conservative. One that will be better than Reagan. One that will, as part of their administration do away with, ACORN and the ACLU? One that will decrease taxes way below the world average to bring back the diversity of jobs to regular Americans who need them. One who will appoint judges from a Conservative view rather than a leftist radical view. Not everyone knows how to manage their money. People need jobs. Incentives to create more business and big business. Promotion of business and wall street rather than to make everyone look stupid. Take the bad guys out of their jobs rather than to demote the whole nation as money mongers. The name

Real Men Vs Boys
All the REAL MEN out there will agree with this post because you already know that the Strength of a woman is usually countered with her sexuality. All the boys are about to learn something.Boys, you approach women as though we are one demensional. The main part your interested in, is if we can deep throat, or if we like it in the %#&@$!. You have no idea of what a real woman is about. You approach all women with the same lame lines, and actually become surprised, and question why a REAL WOMEN rejects you with in seconds of your approach. We can see it in your eyes, your demenior and the tone of your voice. We know the type of man, who is only interested in the moistness of our crotch.You become insulted when you realize that REAL WOMEN dont want to be bothered with you. No matter how good you look, how big your dick is, or how much money you may have. REAL WOMEN need more than the physical need you claim to offer.In your frustration you decide that their must be something

Idiot #1
Today, I was inspired. Inspired to create a blog dedicated to the insane number of fools that prowl online websites for girls with no self esteem that will get on cam or take pics for any Tom, Dick, or Harry. So the entire reason for this blog is to highlight the absolute morons that I come in contact with online. Let's introduce idiot number 1: Numerous times, this guy has approached me on MSN asking to see me on cam. Every time, I tell him no. I even then told him that his chances are lessened by the fact that he asked so much. So this is the breaking point today: matt says: ooo nice nice may i see you please finally lolMiss Lucy Furr says: goddamn it. i'm blocking you. i get on cam when i feel like it. i'm so fucking tired of people asking to see me on cam. you cannot talk to me for 5 mins without bringing it up and i'm over it! goodbye!matt says: ok you ugly bitch 4 eyes REALLY!?! LOL. Make my day. :) men.

Jeez
I swear every time I bother with this thing its all hassle. keep hitting "no salute, no view" profiles. still never heard anything back from the people what run the thing about why it is my salute was a no go so whatever. then I find some folks on my "friend" list who have that up and now I keep hitting "bouncer check" pages every time I click on anything. I gotta say I used to think "myspace" was bad but seeing how snotty and elitest you lot on here are, even worse. worse than myspace. whatever. someday this country will fall to the greed and ignorance of its people. that will be a good day. hope it comes soon. its just such a pain in the ass getting online for me now I probably wont be back on here for a while so yeah whatever all yall snobs can lick my knob!

Dark Sky's Poem
The day has a blackish tint all around.You cant see or hear any sound.The sky is getting darker every hour.A storm is brewing just not a shower.It hitting every thing it path.The fierce power showing its wrath.It destroying everything in life.Just like a heart being pierced with a knife.Soon all love of life will cease.Nothing left of a heart but a piece.Something so fragile and so small.It is the sign of ending of it all.

Hope
To give up is something you should never condonebut sometime in life we must tavel aloneTo see things clearly we must open our eyesand In the end we will see the prizethe one we call Miss or Mr. rightthe one that will hold you through the nightthe one that can make it around the blockwhere the hands of time stop on the clockSo never give up your hopeor Life may take a downward slopeso Stay optimitic and you will seea person that is worthyof all your love and morethe person you will truly adoreso this isnt a fantasy your thinking ofit is the person that you will truly love

Group Therapy
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four youngmothers and their small children."You all have obsessions," he observed.To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.You've even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money.Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol.This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by thehand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving!"

Alone
i know my freind will bitch at me when she reads this but know i will be alone the rest of my life because i will never get my divorce because i do not have the money she dont understand how much i want my divorce so bad this why this one guy wont ask to to go for coffie ect... because i am still married it hurt me to watch some tv shows you see people kiss ect.. that makes me sad and wish i have someone that why i wish i am divorce because the one guys likes me wont go out with me until then so i stop wishing for him to call me because i know it will never happen so my life is missable mean time but i just want her to know best luck on her man hope he make her happy if not i am here for her like she here for me if a man hurt me

Free
From my shoulders a burden peeled for once in my life my heart I revealed I once was so closed unable to look but you came along and I opened like a book unable to explain yet my heart knew mind refused it it had no clue that you are the one that can set me free you can be yourself and I can be me No matter what I will always be right there no matter the time no matter the where a connection that runs deep straight to the soul I was but half now I feel whole No longer scared talking only in song I say the words to you that I have held so long I now know how life should be I give myself to you you have all of me Do as you wish for I will never go I will wait for you so lets just take it slow let love pour out see where it leads karma gave us this in exchange for our deeds ignore your mind no longer reserve for we both have waited it is what we deserve. When I look into your eyes I see a reflection of me, a kind heart

Lookin Through The Glass
I'm looking at you through the glass...Don't know how much time has passedOh god it feels like foreverBut no one ever tells you that foreverFeels like home, sitting all alone inside your headHow do you feel? That is the questionBut i forget.. you dont expect and easy answerWhen something like a soul becomesInitialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notesYou cant expect to bitter folksAnd while your outside looking inDescribing what you seeRemember what your staring at is meCause I'm looking at you through the glass...Don't know how much time has passedAll i know is that it feels like foreverWhen no one ever tells you that foreverFeels like home, sitting all alone inside your headHow much is real? So much to questionAnd never dare make up the mannequinsContaminating everythingWhen thought came from the heartIt never did right from the startJust listen to the noises(No more sad voices)Before you tell yourselfIts just a different sceneRemember its just different f

Vampyres
Vampyres: According to the Society of the Black Swan, there are two main types of vampyres. Both draw life force (a.k.a. pranic, chi, ley, psychic or spiritual energy) from others in order to sustain themselves. But they differ in the method that they use to tap into this energy: Sanguinarian vampyres: "Sanguinarian" comes from the Latin word "sanguinarius" which means "bloodthirsty." A sanguinarian or "sang" vampyre feels a strong craving to meet their energy needs by consuming blood. Normally this comes from other humans. They feel that their strength cannot be maintained at a high level in any other way. 2 If they are not able to feed on blood periodically, they expect to develop a weakened immune system, have less energy, and sicken. They may develop pain and depression. 3 Many vampyres have one or more donors who often draw their own blood as a gift. Most sang vampyres feel that a tablespoon or two of blood each week is plenty to sustain them. Psi vampyres: They crave and are ab

Death Quotes
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives. A. Sachs When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure. Aaron McGruder, Boondocks, 07-04-04 Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny. Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC), Agamemnon Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. Bertolt Brecht (1898 - 1956), The Mother, 1932 For certain is death for the bornAnd certain is birth for the dead;Therefore over the inevitableThou shouldst not grieve. Bhagavad Gita (250 BC - 250 AD), Chapter 2 He not busy being born is busy dying. Bob Dylan (1941 - ) I'd rather get my brains blown out in the wild than wait in terror at the slaughterhouse. Craig Volk, Northern Exposure, A-Hunting We Will Go, 1991 The killing was the best part. It was the dying I couldn't take. Craig Volk, Northern Exposure, A-Hunting We Will Go, 1991 Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore. Because our mortal journey is

Part 1
The Cronicle of Caine The First Times I dream of the first timesthe longest memory I speak of the first timesthe oldest FatherI sing of the first time and the dawn of Darkness In Nod, where the light of Paradise lit up the night skyand the tears of our parents wet the groundEach of us, in our way, set about to liveand take our sustenance from the landAnd I, first-borne Caine, I, with sharp things,planted the dark seeds, wet them in the earthtended them, watched them growAnd Abel, second-borne Abeltended the animalsaided their bloody birthsfed them, watched them growI loved him, my BrotherHe was the brightestThe sweetestThe strongestHe was the first partof all my joy.Then one dayour Father said to us,Caine, Abelto him above you must make a sacrifice--a gift of the first partof all that you haveAnd I, first-borne Caine, igathered the tender shootsthe brightest fruitsthe sweetest grass And Abel, second-borne, Abelslaughtered the youngestthe strongest, the sweetest of his an

When We Want And Want, But Just Don’t Receive
I've had a bit of a rough day and although I'm not sure that posting my feelings about anything will really make me feel better, I sometimes need to remind myself about gratitude. Hope you enjoy it. ~Mari When We Want and Want, But Just Don't Receive "Want is a growing giant whom the coat of have was never large enough to cover..." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Recently, I have been thinking and talking a lot about gratitude. It seems that so many of us want more than what we have. It's not that we aren't happy with what we already have in our lives, we just want more. We want a better relationship, we want more money, we want a bigger house, we want, we want, we want. But what about being thankful for what we already have? A few months ago, I received a Gratitude Journal as a gift from The Secret. The journal is encased in a beautiful heavy leather, tri-fold binder. I really liked it because it had a private, secret feel to it. Like what I wrote would be just betwe

Dont Realy Know The Subject
somehow i felt in-addiquate, as though you had already experienced much more in your life than i had in mine. we have lived the same ammout of time but you have done so much more, experimented much more, LIVED much more. i guess you could sense that. i have takent the express lane to responsibility, boredom, a cruel reality that i call life as i know it, you took me away from that when i was with you. You made me confortable to be myself, but not too comfortable to where i didnt try and impress you or try and make you like me all over again. But again life has diffrent plans for the both of us, and will diverge us off this path that we oh so breifly walked together. so, thank you, i will always be there for you when other people piss you off and you cant talk to any one else.

Love
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TIL ITS GONE.. NOW I KNOW WHAT I HAD. AND LETTING HIM GO 3 TIMES AND HE STILL TELLS ME HE LOVES ME.. I LOVE HIM TOO MORE THAN HE WILL EVER KNOW.. JUST KNOWING THAT HE LOVES ME AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME MEANS SO MUCH TO ME AND HE KNOWS IT.. I LOVE YOU JEREMY JOHNS!!!!

Ranting For First Blog
start this with lyrics, by coal chamber ----------------------------------- All dressed in black Eyes of attack Coming with one hand in pocket To take from me Sin in the eyes I see Sin is nice of me Nothing left for me Reality Forget it You have messed up Can't do anything And I have messed up Can't do anything You're just a fuckup I'm just a fuckup We're just two fuckups At least we're fucked Up together So sad to see you go I said to myself you Know So sad to see a mind Disappear through Time Lunacy's an argued Taste I guess there's no time To waste Oh passing times it's a Passing phase Reality Forget it You have messed up Can't do anything And I have messed up Can't do anything You're just a fuckup I'm just a fuckup We're just two fuckups At least we're fucked Up together We are two fuckups You have messed up Can't do anything And I have messed up Can't do anything You're just a fuckup I'm just a fuckup We're just two fuckups At least we're fucked Up together Together, toget

Goodbye
I told you what all i was needing But you pretty much ignored the pleading You left for days without a call When i told you it was one of the things bothering me most of all Excuses lately were all ive been hearing Constant sadness is where you have kept me steering You brushed away my hearts desire Causing my heart to sink in sadness and mire I dont like wondering if ive ever truly mattered Im left to pick up the pieces of my heart thats shattered

Wat Do U Do When Ur Life Is Gone
I DIED ALONG TIME AGO AND MY MIND BODY AND SOUL WENT W IT WAT DO I DO NOW? UR GONE AND IM ON MY OWN U TOOK THINGS FROM ME THAT U WERE NOT ALLOWD 2 TAK YET U DID ANYWAY AND THAT NIGHTMARE HAUNTS ME NOW ITS NOT A DREAM BC IM A WAKE SUMTIMES I WONDER Y I GET OUT OF BED ANYMORE Y I HAVENT QUIT THEN I LOOK OVER AT THAT 3 YR OLD ANGEL SLEEPIN NXT 2 ME AND THE VOICE I HEAR DAILY TELLIN ME HE LOVES ME AND I C Y I GET UP AND Y IM TILL HERE SUMTIMES I WANTD Y I HAVENT END MY LIFE THEN WHEN I C MY LIL MAN AND HEAR MY LOVES VOICE I REMEMBER WAT IT MEANS 2 B STRONG AND Y I NEED 2 CARRY ON W MY LIFE B4 MY LOVE I HAD NOTHIN THEN ON MOTHERS DAY MY ANGEL RETURND 2 ME AND THEN I FOUND HIM AND HE STOLE MY HEART THESE MEN R THE REASON Y MY HEART TILL BEATS AND MY LUNGS TILL BREATHE I LOVE THEM OOOOO SO MUCH AND IF I LOST BOTH OF EM ID GO FUCKIN CRAZY SO NOW IM WRITIN THIS BC IM SICK OF MY LIFE BUT WHEN I SEE THE GREATEST MEN THAT I HAV IN MY LIFE IDK WAT ID DO W OUT EM I FOUND MY ANGEL MY BEST FRIEND M

The Passion Inside
I have walked threw the shadows of the valley of death, and feared no evil. I have been guided by the light in the darkness with truth and honor. The very sacrifice of my doomed soul is the price am willing to pay for the safety of the ones who don't know my name Medals of Valor under lock and key. My reward is my priviledge to serve sitting the recesses of my mind. The Years past by and the world changes and my convictions stay the same. I am an outcast to the society and people I protect. But with even the ever changing times I have no regrets. for I lived my life with the passion of my calling. So now I pass the torch to one so young and full of spirit. with the same passion and commitment. For me this is not the end. but the beginning. For life has changed its course. For me to sleep in comfort knowing that the new guard sits quietly and unrecongnized to his call of duty. So now I am able to live the dreams, that I fought so hard to protect. And by the grace of God. He has b

Meaning Of Love
This is what love means To have you in all my dreams To know the reasons why we exists To know that this love we couldn't resist To hold each other all day long To know that this is where our hearts belong To look into your beautiful eyesTo hold you at night and look into the sky To see the star above To know this is true love To hold hands and feel it to be right To hold each other through the night To kiss you and close my eyes To know that this love could never die To know my love grows each day It does'nt matter together or away I know this to be all true All I can ever do is think of you

Lost In Confusion
I am lost in confusion Surrounded by utter chaos in my mind My heart telling yes when it can not be possible What do I do? Do I take the biggest risk and move to be with her Or do I continue on down the path of loneliness. Something, someone, somewhere will make my heart whole Is she that missing piece Or am I just that lost in confusion

Alone
This just a poem. I wrote this a while back. We all go thru breakups. ITs sorta part of life. lol They can be rough but we all get past these things and move on. I guess my point is not matter what happens in life. It will always get better!!! I am truly alone nowI don’t know what to doThis feeling I have makes me blueI cant understand why we don’t belongWhat you allowed to happen was so wrongTo hold each other in our armsBut I am still bewitched by your charmsAll I have left is memories of a kissI know now there’s no such thing as blissThe rest is nowhere to be foundEvery time I have leave you I feel so downEveryone that I have talked to tell me to move onI still cant believe your love for me is goneOh god why does life have to be so crappyBeing without you make it hard to be happy

A Lil About Me
I am a submissive woman...I find pleasure, joy and fullfillment from being submissive to another in a loving realationship.I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm veiws and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.I look to my loving master for guidnace and protection, for never am i more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind and my soul with his strenght and wisdom.Only in serving him do i find comeplete freedom and joy.His punsihments are harsh, but i accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best intrests alsways foremost in his mind.If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought him happiness.However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one of the facet of any realtionship.My body is his and if he says i am beautiful then i am.If he says i am his princess then i am that

High Iq And Adhd
http://opa.yale.edu/news/article.aspx?id=6698 New Haven, Conn. — Superior intelligence is no defense against the effects of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, Yale researchers have found. About three of four ADHD individuals with an IQ of more than 120 – a score that ranks them in the top nine percent of the U.S. population – showed significant impairments in memory and cognitive tests when compared to people with similar IQ’s who do not suffer from the disorder, according to the researchers. The report, to be published in the September print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders, is now available online: http://jad.sagepub.com/pap.dtl “Many of these people are told they can’t be suffering the loss of executive function (the ability to plan and carry out many day-to-day tasks) from ADHD because they are too smart,’’ said Thomas E. Brown, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and lead au

Social Distortion- Footprints On My Celing
Everybody wants a loverNobody wants to uncoverwhat may lay deep beneath a sometimes painful pastwanna go without a carepull Gardenias from her hairI think of a time we didn't have a care in the worldcaptivated by her beauty I knew it was my life long dutyshe had all the grace and charm of a radiant queenHow do you talk without speaking? yeah!How do you hear without listening?How do you live without feeling? yeah!How do you take without giving?And keep it all inside?There are footprints on my ceilingI can't help this fucked up feelingsomething's wrong, you ain't coming 'round here no moretry to get my thoughts togetherI think of a time when things were betterthis miscommunication is breaking me downHow do you talk without speaking? yeah!How do you hear without listening?How do you live without feeling? yeah!How do you take without giving?How you treat your new best friend?Everybody wants a loverNobody wants to uncoverwhat may lay deep beneath a sometimes painful pastmy heart is heavy sl

Cognitive Science And The New Spirituality
http://themarknews.com/articles/103-cognitive-science-and-the-new-spirituality John Vervaeke Professor of psychology and cognitive science, University of Toronto. 5/5/09 There is an emerging framework for scientifically understanding how we fundamentally make sense of the world. Although there is much work to be done, there is now real promise that we are starting to understand how we understand – this promise creates opportunities that have profound existential, moral, and, for a lack of a better word, spiritual implications. We are beginning to be able to explain how people can be intelligent beings (i.e. how they can sift through all the vast potential information available to them and zero in on what is relevant). Such relevance realization enables them to turn space into places, time into events, and causes into stories so that they can experience and think about their world. This enables them to size up situations, solve problems, and feel at home in the world. Such f

Anniversaries Aren't Always About Celebration
On June 18, I mark the occasion of two of the worst moments in my life...The day I said I was done with 16 yrs of pain...And the day my brother in law was taken in a tragic accident... And now...almost a year later...I'm still asking myself why God chose to destroy my life twice in one day? Many people say there can't be a God for if there were...He wouldn't allow such human suffering...And being a Christian doesn't stop me from asking the same question...It just makes life that much harder to bear at times...Because you know that even after the pain of one tragedy finally eases...There will be more to come to tear it open and let it hurt all over again... Reflecting on the past year, I find that I haven't really moved a single step forward...If I'm honest, I would admit that I have fallen back several steps...And I don't know if I will ever start walking forward again... Because everytime in the past year when I thought I was back in step...Getting my life together...Something or

Just Like A Tattoo
Oh, oh, oh No matter what you say about loveI keep coming back for moreKeep my hand in the fireSooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for No matter what you say about lifeI learn every time I bleedThat truth is a strangerSoul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free To admit that I'm wrongAnd then change my mindSorry but I have to move onAnd leave you behind [Chorus]I can't waste time so give it a momentI realize, nothing's brokenNo need to worry 'bout everything I've doneLive every second like it was my last oneDon't look back at a new directionI loved you once, needed protectionYou're still a part of everything I doYou're on my heart just like a tattoo (Just like a tattoo, I'll always have youI'll always have you, I'll always have you) I'm sick of playing all of these gamesIt's not about taking sidesWhen I looked in the mirror, didn't deliverIt hurt enough to think that I could Stop, admit that I'm wrongAnd then change my mindSorry but I gotta be strongAnd leave you be

Tag-a-friend
who tagged you ? ASHLEY*grrrr*** You got laid last night, didn't you?--sure didn't. Have you ever had a sleepover with a member of the opposite sex?--i have Do you believe in forever?--i believe in eternity. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?--yes i have What's the biggest annoyance in your life right now?--confusion. When's the last time you embarrassed yourself?--i try not to get embarrassed. but I guess at work I was carrying 2 aventech board and sliped in mudd did a flip and the boards landed on my head Your ex REALLY needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house would you go?--yeah probably.depending on the problem How many hours did you sleep last night?--about 7. Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?--YEAH JENNY C.....and 3 others Is there someone you want out of your life for good?--i dont have anyone in my life that i dont want there.but there is someone I run into now and I'd like to see hit by a large bus

Stupid People Shouldn't Breed
Seriously...WTF is wrong with this mother?!?!? Victorville, Calif. (AP) -- Investigators say the mother of a 15-year-old Victorville girl allowed the teenager to have sex repeatedly with a parolee. San Bernardino County sheriff's deputies, acting on an anonymous tip, allegedly caught 25-year-old parolee Anthony Vaux and the teen in the act on Sunday at the Travelodge hotel. Vaux has been booked for investigation of felony unlawful sex with a minor and his parole has been revoked. Investigators say the teen's mother was aware her daughter and Vaux had been having sex regularly in recent weeks and she allegedly allowed it to occur. A complaint regarding the mother's actions is being sent to prosecutors.

Wondering
as i sit here and think about my life all i can do is wonder what i might have been able to do different. I know that there is nothing that i can do about my past but i would sure like to go back and change hurting someone i loved sooooooooooooooooo much over a year ago. I still love him and hope he loves me too.

What I Want
I want to kiss her everyday. I want to wake up next to her. I want to see her eyes open. I want to hear her say, " I love you." I want to see her standing next to the fridge just looking. I want to hear her words every second. I want to touch her. I want to look into her eyes, and see her soul looking back at me. I want to feel her being inside me. I want to feel her next to me. I want her to stand her ground when things are bad. I want her to stand with me when things are good. I want her to dream of a good life. I want her to know she is loved. I want her to know I always have her back. I want her to know I go nowhere. I want her to know she is a dream come true. I want her to know always and forever is more than just words. I want her to know they pour from lips as if my soul is attached.

These Eyes
These Eyes by John P ReedThese eyes the onesI catch you staring atyou say are windows to eternitythe very eyes you once fell intohave seen so much of lovethat they shine with iteven when I can't feellove going out or coming inmy eyes are not windowsto my soul or anything elsethey do not open anymorethey simply are never closedthey have seen death and lifeand so much in-betweenthat I cannot even find wordsfor the parallels they see nowI see things that youand you and yes even youdo not dream existwouldn't want to know doYou could not face themif I showed them to youand they are terriblyhorribly beautifulthat's why my eyesdance and smilein the face of allof the gods twisted ironynot at the joy of it,but at the inevitabilityof your eyes one dayseeing these things tooknowing this my eyes smilelove shines out of these eyesknowing that this visagewill one day be yours too

Wanna Own Ur Own Naughty Girl?!?!?!
I am starting the auction earlier than planned the auction will begin June 2nd @ 12AM Est. and run until July 15th @ 10PM Est. The starting bid for each entrant will be 500K. Host will not be responsible for non-payment or notification to winning bidder. Please read the rules before placing any bids (a rate & comment will let me know you read and understand them) LusciousCandyAppleRed ~bully brought 2 you by~ ♥BΣÂuŦƪƒul ÐƪȿÂȿŦΣЯ♥ Wifey of ȺcΣ§ Ñ ΣƪĞhŦ§

To All Those Half Ass Poets...
thanks for smashing up one of my big paintings and throwing them all in a little side closet so you had room for chairs and tables. so those horrible poetry readings could go off with a bang. i guess random poetry readers and failed talent is worth more than me. to some. just go ahead and toss my artwork where ever...its not saying "the birds...the birds oh how i love the birds" it says JERMx on it with original artwork by that name. but... scenesters and wanna-be Beats are far more influencial and "needed" i guess. and the careless handling of my artwork would be announced if it happened to another artist too. its called bad form! so it looks like i'll be doing poetry readings at the place i had my art fcuked with by "poets". to see how well they accept freedom of speech! lets see how crazy...crazy can be. and not just a catchy prose. if people are artists i am grateful to know that. if you just want attention cuz you like to tell people you are...im louder! =]

New Objectives....
I don't exactly remember who said it, but I've been hearing this saying alot lately. I'm the type of person who believes that if you keep hearing or seeing something around you alot, that it must be a sign for you to hold on to or at least remember because you'll need it later... The saying is, ' In order to achieve something you never have, you must be willing to do what you've never done!!!'

Love Is...
Love is patient, love is kind... yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all heard that before!!! My question is, if Love is patient, and Love is kind, why are there so many beautiful people that rush into Loving people that are so very unkind!!! I don't know, I think it's because too many people get the definition of Love fucked up in their mind. Love isn't sex, it isn't having a good time at the movies or at the club, and it damn sure isn't tit size or dick size!!! Love isn't about the Good times that you have with your partner. How hard is it to Love someone when everything is going great??? Real Love is Loving someone when they give you every reason not too, when the world has taken every thing that you loved about that person and beat you over the head with it! That's Love, being there and Loving that person through the good and the bad, and when noone else will. All that other shit, is just icing on the cake!!! Oh yeah, and nowhere does it say that Love is always returned!!! Love isn't Lov

Graduation
Well, this past Friday was my graduatiom! Man, did I ever have fun. I cried, my mom cried.....HELL everybody cried I think! Plus TONS of pictures were taken by every graduates family. I bought two disposalable cameras Friday morning so I could take as many pictures as possible. And that I did. A few days before graduation, I got a big surprise from my mom. She bought me a graduation balloon and a dozen mini roses. It shocked me so much that I cried when I saw them. Everyone I know is so proud of me for getting my GED. My sister is envious of me. Me and her were always incompetition with each other. But anyway, I will have pictures up in a few days of everything. Even pictures from me getting ready for graduation. Well, until then fu-friends. Take care. Rayne

How Many Animals Can You Fit In A Pair Of Panty Hose?
how many animals can you fit in a pair of panty hose? 2 caves, an ass, a beaver, a shitload of hairs, 1 camel toe and a fish no one can findhope you enjoy a good laugh.

Ovid's "metamorphoses"
1. Who was raped by her brother-in-law and afterward had her tongue cut out?PhilomelaTereus and Procne married, although their marriage was ill-omened. Tereus went to fetch Procne's sister Philomela for a visit and ended up raping her. He cut out her tongue and imprisoned her so that she would tell no one what he had done. Finally, she wove a tapestry showing her troubles and sent it to her sister at the palace. She and her sister plotted revenge and finally fed Tereus his own son on a platter.2. Which king of Athens had a purple lock of hair?NisusNisus was fighting a war against Minos, the king of Crete. His daughter, Scylla (no relation to the monster) fell in love with Minos and cut off her father's purple lock of hair and gave it to him. Since an ancient prophesy had predicted that if the purple lock of hair was cut off, the city would fall, Minos won the war. He did, however, reject Scylla afterwards and, in her despair, she tried to kill herself but was turned into a bird3. Which

List Of Roman Deities
Major Deities * Apollo - god of the sun, poetry, music, and oracles, and a Dii Consentes * Bona Dea - goddess of fertility, healing, virginity, and women. Also known as Fauna * Bacchus - god of wine and sensual pleasures, not considered a Dii Consentes by the Romans * Carmenta - goddess of childbirth and prophecy, and assigned a flamen minor. The leader of the Camenae. * Ceres - goddess of the harvest and mother of Proserpina, and a Dii Consentes, and assigned a flamen minor * Cybele - earth mother * Diana - goddess of the hunt, the moon, virginity, and childbirth, twin sister of Apollo and a Dii Consentes * Flora - goddess of flowers, and assigned a flamen minor * Fortuna - goddess of fortune * Janus - two-headed god of beginnings and endings and of doors * Juno - Queen of the Gods and goddess of matrimony, and a Dii Consentes * Jupiter - King of the Gods and the storm, air, and sky god, and a Dii Consentes, and assigned a flamen maior * Mars - g

Blocked Again For Not Understanding Psycho Babble
read from bottom to the top -> DAMIAN: I don't know what you are talking about....you are talking in riddlesDAMIAN: you know exactly!!!!!!!!!!! what im talking about im not an imbcile-> DAMIAN: um ok, no clue what you are talking about stillDAMIAN: go pl;ay the fubae game on somone else you are a psycho-> DAMIAN: WTF are you talking aboutDAMIAN: SHARE NOTHING I WILL NEVER PIMP YOU Aour bomb you again-> DAMIAN: share whatDAMIAN: PLEASE SHAREDAMIAN: NO .... YOU MISDUND ME IM MSORRY-> DAMIAN: stop what? you are talking in riddlesDAMIAN: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-> DAMIAN: huh?DAMIAN: GOOG NIGHT AND BE SURE TOO TELL ALL THAT HAS ANY POWER T ALLLLL-> DAMIAN: ohDAMIAN: sorry my sb is effing up-> DAMIAN: you lost meDAMIAN: ypu lknow exactly what bi mean-> DAMIAN: huh?DAMIAN: im just not worthy of tour beauty am i?

An Interesting Weekend
this past weekend i was helping out with the music at the canadian national gymnastics championships in hamilton. it was alot of work for 4 days and tiring since they were long days.. there was alot of good competitors and only a few of them made the canadian team. but the one thing that stuck out the most was when they had 2 rhythmic gymnasts that were special olympians.. one was a 5 time gold medalist at the 2008 beijing olympics and the other one won 4 silver medals and a bronze at those games. now seeing them do a demonstration in front of everyone brought a smile to whoever watched them perform. now just because they have a special need doesnt mean they cant do something. they could probably do it as well as some of us could given the chance. and the training. so for me seeing them perform made me realize how lucky we all are and how special they really are in peoples eyes. we should not be judging them because they are different. we should be treating them like normal people. so

Untittled 94
only for a moment my soul crys for more pain Powerful and intense morbid and my hands clench. I do not understand, its emptyness is unknown. Unable to fill up in any sense its pain drains me more and more. I am fearful to grasp the depths for I wont return. I try to pretend it doesnt exsist but clarity brings it back here again. There are times when I become totally numb. When Im at my weakest. the depths become known, only for a moment.

I Am Old Im 38 And Sure Not Handsome.
Hi there for some reason people seem to think im handsome, there is not 1 pic on this profile that anyone can see my face clearly, I don't understand why people say that im handsome because im not, I been on this site now for 3 yrs sence it was cherry tap. if someone can explain what makes me handsome id realy love to hear it and once I get a good close up of my face I will post it for 2 weeks then I will delete this profiles and all profiles I am on. Wow me handsome that is the biggest joke I have ever heard about as good as the cowboys dreaming there going to the super bowl lol lol wow after 12 yrs they not gunna do nothin anytime soon.

Eventually
Eventually people say "this must be your true colors"Eventually people try to confine me into there chamber of perfections(im not perfect)Eventually they think they know meEventually I fall in loveEventually I am aloneEventually I am taken for grantedEventually I am hatedEventually I fuck upEventually theres no more tearsEventually I have no more love to giveEventually I am forgivenEventually the void of darkiness is invitingEventually Im in a coffinEventually my love in enternal, what if eventually never comes?

My Sadistic Desires
As I walked into the club this evening, a new face caught my eye. On the stage was a picture of desire, a woman out of a memory. She wore a red silk g-string, black leather knee high boots, and nothing else. Cassandra was her name, and tonight was her first night. She strode across the stage, drawing her patrons in with subtle movements of her hips, and long, gorgeous legs. Her smile was both mischievious and flirtatious. Her small waist was covered in pentagrams and cryptic designs. Her breasts rode high on her chest, perky and attention getting, with a chain connecting her nipples thru her piercings. It was her eyes however that caught my attention, her dark brown eyes, as if she sensed my presence... I motioned the bartender and entered my private suite. As she entered, I could sense her curiousity. As she came to the center of the room, I flicked my wrist, lighting several dozen candles instantly. She appeared shaken, but seeing me sitting before her, seemed to calm her. I asked

Why Do I Keep Put Songs Before The Blogs Lol
REO speedwagon..u know what song DUH lol so yeah, here i am I did mean when i said i love you and i didn mean i love u forever. you stab chicks around all day..i just stare at the dudes ploting there next step with a sniper scope... lets see you know i didnt mean to hurt your feelings, and you didnt mean to piss me off, we love each other, we hate each other blah blah now we arent gona talk for awhile, i have more patience then you so ill be lot longer holding out to talk to you(i guess take it as punishment) but you already missed me even though you was mad at me, and vice verca lol hope you got my gift..its really real lol..hugs...so yea i was just gona unplug my internet but id be beyond bored if i did that so here i am. sidenote for fucommunity, i like comments...no matter what they are although if i dont like the comments i wont allow them to be public just a lil FYI lol :P happy drinkn all

Missing
urrounded by people, I feel all alone, Like part of me's missing, calling for a home. Crying in the dark, dreaming of the day, Hoping to find you, though I know you're so far away. Someday i'll wake up and I know you'll be there. But why do I have to wait, why aren't you here. The emptiness consumes me, while I fall apart, Where are you, I'm waiting, come claim my heart.

Then And Now
What I knew then..... That mommy's kisses made everything better That Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny were real That someday Prince Charming would come carry me away That swing-sets, slip-n-slides, and playgrounds were fun That miracles can happen That best friends are forever. What I know now.... That mommy's kisses still make everything better only now I'm the mommy That Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny will always be real as long as there are children to believe in them. That Prince Charming isn't always charming, but still could show up and carry me away. That swing-sets, slip-n-slides, and playgrounds are still fun, they just hurt a little more. That miracles are born every day. That best friends are not always forever but sisters are. Sometimes we need to sit back and reevaluate things, what I've realized is that I've been blessed with a wonderful daughter and true friends or sisters as I like to call them. I'm still waiting on prince-not-so

The One That Keeps Getting Away.
You smile your not so perfect smile,that one that doesn't quite reach your eyes,always watching, like you're waiting for something,and you look so sad, you can't see what I do,that all your insecurities, all your imperfections,make you perfect, because you're unique,and i want only one thing,for you to be happyjust by being yourself put down your guardand allow yourself to be who you really arebecause that person is wonderful

You Can't Stay Mad Forever.......
For everybody, that gets the feeling hurt and also... get upset over something that you (or the person) put on the other party, just that... you can't stay mad forever. It is not heathly at all. You should know when to forgive and forget, that is all the truth. You must know how to let go. That would be good for everyone. You can't stay mad forever!!!

Want To B In My Hotties In Baseball Hats Folder?
Hello! I'm trying to get pictures of hot guys in baseball hats from ALL 50 STATES.... but it's slow going. If you are interested... send me a link to your photo. Here is a link to show the states that are being represented already :-) (excuse the look of this blog - i suck at blog entries!) http://fubar.com/myimages.php?albumid=662734

Tormented Ghosts
In one's daily trials and travails, one is beset and haunted by various ghosts. Most of the time its the ghosts of our past, Is what is happening now going to be a repeat performance of the past. The ghosts of fear, the ghosts of doubts, both cause us to hesitate and second guess our every action. The ghosts of the present confound us even more than those of the past. The ghosts of potential can drive us to ruin, not to mention the Seven Sins pulling us in their directions. Also the ghosts yet to be have a little grasp upon us as well. How do we measure up in the eyes of others and How do we measure up to what we see of ourselves being farther down the river of time. Ghosts of Desires. Ghosts of Pain. Ghosts of Loss. Every single ghost wants its place in the sun, its fifteen minutes to shine, its pound of flesh. Some people consider all of this spectral cacophany, normal. What if though instead of the pleading and yelling of all of these spectres, there is nothing. What if the ghosts

Just A Dream
Even in a dream your wishes I tried to please. For you, the moon I even reached. And in my journey I found a little angel. She saw me so sad; she knew that I’d lost my faith. In my dream, I only heard her talking so I could not see a face. She was giving me a lesson about love. While I was listening, anxiously I started to demand. I asked her what is the key to make you fall in love with me? First, she said that it is a sin to only think about you. Second, that I can’t nor should I even want to give life up for you. Third, that my destiny is love is in danger and she warns me about you. And fourth, that a person who is a slave to love will get his heart trampled. That he that loves but doesn’t show, is setting himself for a great fall. ****This is a song from Aventura I translated from the spanish language

Questions
Would you makeout with me?[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ] already have ;)Would you sleep in the same bed as me?[ ] In an instant! [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] MaybeAm I attractive?[ ] Heck no [ ] Hot as Hell [ ] Fine [ ] Cute [ ] Okay [ ] Ugly!Do you think I'm a virgin?[ ] Yes [ ] NoI look like..[ ] A player[ ] a wife/husband[ ] One time thing[ ] Next bf/gf[ ] A friend[ ] A friend with benefits[ ] A possibility[ ] A loser[ ] A hottieIf you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] maybeWould you rather...?[ ] Hook up with me[ ] Cuddle with me[ ] Date me[ ] Friends[ ] Friends with benefits[ ] Marry meOn a scale of 1-10 (10 being the hottest), rate me...[ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] 7 [ ] 8 [ ] 9 [ ] 10What would you want me to be to you?[ ] Friend[ ] Girlfriend/Boyfriend[ ] Friend with benefits[ ] Husband/WifeWould you give me a lap dance?[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

Important
Read this blog and I had to share it.. because it shares my thoughts and well it shows why I am jealous sometimes...which I am getting over and getting past...Thank you Devilsreject for this blog. http://www.fubar.com/blog/297816/1029293

Just Looking For Some Fu Friends
Hi people my name is nick and im just looking for some true friends i would love to get to the top ranks and i think that i have what it takes just need some good beautiful people around me so send me a mess if your intrested

Pisces Woman
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS: Pisces is the most considerate and compassionate sign out of all the signs of the zodiac. In keeping with those qualities, the Pisces woman is the one who is most willing and able to listen to other people’s problems and, who will offer endless support and comfort. The Pisces woman’s emotional openness can also become her greatest challenge since the fish swims within the oceans and seas being areas of wide expanses and limitless depths. The Pisces girl can swim about in an endless sea of emotions with no shore in sight and, as result, can end up absorbing so much emotional energy from her environment that she can become drained of vitality, causing her to withdraw into herself in the manner of a self-imposed exile of solitude. This is the most mystical of the signs and the Pisces girl is aware that there is an invisible world; as result she can often feel overly burdened by the restrictions and responsibilities of the practical realities of the

Ugh Why Again
SHARING MY FEELINGS FOR YOU GAVE ME A CLUE TO SHOW YOU ON HOW MUCH I CARE FOR YOU. THE THINGS I TOLD YOU YOU IGNORED AND PASSED THROUGH YOUR MIND LIKE THERE WERE NO WORRIES. YOU SAY YOU CARE THAT YOU MAY HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME. YOU OPENED UP TO ME SHARED THINGS WITH ME THAT YOUVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT. YOU CONFINDED IN ME SHARED DEEP EMOTIONS AND PROBLEMS THAT YOU COULD NOT DISCUSS WITH OTHERS. BUT ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY ME IF YOU WONT BE WITH ME?

Yer Creepy Realatives
Guess what, you know that creepy uncle of yers, that wants to hugg wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much? He called n he's on his way to see you! N he's bringing his big ole wife, the one that wears the moomoo all the time n flip flops. Well anit much flip left in em, more like flat flops.Think thier smartass son will be with him, the scrawny white boy who thinks he's black. Tries to talk street n sounds stupid doing it n wears his hat crooked n such ignorant shit. Thier freaky ass daughter prolly driving, the one who still dresses goth, n plunders thourgh yer medicine cabinet when she visits. Shes the one who knows when everyone goes to the dr, n comes over complianing she has such a bad headache or backache, bumming some pills. Then there is thier shittyaas 4 year old smartalec boy who whine n yells n gets his way. You remember, he plunders thourgh yer house, n his parents dont do a damn thing, except say oooooh yer gonna get a time out! whoopty freaky do, that anit ever made a kid behave. Think

Women And Videogames
So yeah I've begun to notice that a lot of women on Fubar treat it like a videogame..lol, I mean this site just like myspace, twitter and all that other shit is a social networking site where u can meet other people and chat, now I'm not saying chatting with sumone gives u the obligation to meet with them, but i see alot of woman that are just here to get cherry bombed, blinged, fudrunk, and to level and they can give a crap about networking with anyone at all. And my favorite is the "R/F/A and i will get u back...so u go head and do it and get nuthing back. OH NO...my real favorite is the "hey can i see yoru nsfw's? sure after you bling me" LOLOLOL WOW!! that one is priceless!!! hmm wait a minute, that reminds me of sumone, lets see help me out people, who sells either there body or pictures of them naked for money....hmmm, that's right whores!! LOLOLOLOL No disrepect to any woman inparticular but if you were offended by this then you should prolly check yourself first b4 backlashing

My Mini Vacation
Yeaterday I took a trip to the coast. I got a three hour nap and left around 9 or 10am. First place I went to was to Tillamock Cheese Factory. It's been forever since I been there. Got some cheese samples and took some photos. Went to some town called Otter Creek, I think? Not too far freom Newport where they had the Devl's Punch bowl. It was low tide at the moment, so not too much action there. it was still neat to see how nature created it though. Went to Newport Oregon. Killed time at Ripleys Believe it or not, The Wax Muesume, some underwater garden thing and a few other places. Went to the Oregon Aquiremum which was pretty neat. I got to touch a few star fishes :) Grabbed some lunch at some Crab shack place...kinda like a ma and pop place I guess. Had some clam chower and a tuna sandwich...yum. Drove around town and went to a beach. It was a bit chilly and windy so I didn't get a tan or anything. Drove around some more and ended up at some weird vocalnic like place....almost l

Dead Beat Moms
In a few weeks my son turns 4 . He is the most amazing kid. Every day he does something new that just blows me away. most parents feel this way about thier children.My wife met us when he was a little more than 1, and he quickly became her everything. She has never treated him less than her own. In action and deed. She is the only MOM he really has. Through her he now has 3 brothers, 3 sister-in-laws l, and a niece. All of whom feel that he is as much a part of their family as each other. I told you all that so no one feels like he is missing out on the joys of the family unit. Now about his EGG DONOR . Like most incubators . She carried him for 9 months, gave birth, and breast fed for a few days . After her maternity leave was up she went back to work , and i quit my job to stay home with him. We split up . My son and I moved to Colo. She moved to a different part of Colo. 2 months later.It took a little time , but she started to see him on the odd week ends. Cool i encourag

Poem
Reality Fire upon the never ending starsWish upon all the ones that aren't farAnd happiness will come your wayHopefully it will stay,Each time you look away at the skyEach time you ask your self whyRemember who are and what you want to beSo the mirror reflects exactly what you wanna see,You have to find your way through it allGetting up every time you fallPretend you really carePretending life is fair,You have to open doors that are closedCover the feelings that are superimposedMaking new friends when you really don'tLove them when you really wont,Say something you don't mean Tear open the never ending seamJust do get in that shining lightWhen in reality you'll lose the fight.

The Rainbow Hearted One
As She walks upon the earth the land turns greenBecause what flows from Her heart is unseenWhen She glides along the high mountain topThe darkness flees from Her light and stopsSo She swims into the deepest ocean blueThe sea is rejuvinated and the color made newThen THE RAINBOW HEARTED ONE hits the colorless airAnd leaves behind a glowing rainbow from Her satined hairHer beauty is ultimate as She streams out into the dark so farHovers around a gathers each and every glowless starTouches and releases them shinning into the uttermost parts of spaceAnd as the universe celebrates Her conquest, she releases a smile upon Her beautiful face Aloha and Mahalo

Realizing Ones Mortality
It's amazing when you get to a certain age and realization kicks in, I'm 48 and 60 is really not that far away, Over half of my life is over. I would like to say that I'm all excited about the "Future" but I'm not, I mean what do i have to look forward to? Diapers? walkers? Death? I really feel like I wasted my life fuckin around so much of it, Not givin a shit alot of it. I'm not proud of some of the things i have done but I'm not ashamed either. I wish I went to college like I wanted to, joined the air force, became that comicbook artist I always wanted to be, but i was lazy, always puttin off till tomorrow, well tomorrow has came and went.

Will Always Challenge You
Who challenged the impossible is meSo how I will not challenge youAnd you are just a human like meThe solution is with youBut just a usual man is meNothing but small pen with weak ink in my handApproaching toward every one with a beasty words from youAnd scattering the desire in the air like bombsBut it is extinguisherWhen every things still alive of my pen Still alive even after my deathSo I will challenge you in this present and the futureWho is the victorious me or you- - - - - - - - - -W.B: FM

Anaplastic Cancer..
the cancer in question...if ur interested...;) Thyroid Cancer: Anaplastic Cancer The Least Common Thyroid Cancer This page includes more advanced information on a specific type of thyroid cancer. . . Anaplastic Thyroid Cancer. Please read our Introduction to Thyroid Cancer page first which gives a general overview of all types of thyroid cancer since it will make this page easier to understand. Anaplastic tumors are the least common (about 0.5 to 1.5%) and most deadly of all thyroid cancers. This cancer has a very low cure rate with the very best treatments allowing only 10 % of patients to be alive 3 years after it is diagnosed. Most patients with anaplastic thyroid cancer do not live one year from the day they are diagnosed. Anaplastic thyroid cancer often arises within a more differentiated thyroid cancer or even within a goiter. Like papillary cancer, anaplastic thyroid cancer may arise many years (>20) following radiation exposure. Cervical metastasis (spread of

My Birthday Present
I was already running late for my first-time ever massage appointment, making me even a little more nervous. My hands on the steering wheel are starting to get sweaty and my heart begins to race. I pull up to this quaint little house where my friend Shaunte has set up her massage therapy business. We have talked about this a lot and she understands my fear … and being the good friend that she is, she has given me a gift certificate for a massage as a birthday present. Hearing the car pull up, she comes to the door – looking all professional – and greets me with a big hug. She notices how my hands are trembling and tells me its going to be okay. She directs me into the kitchen first, where we talk about our day over a cup of flavored tea. Sensing that I am starting to relax, we move into the room she has set up. As I walk in, the atmosphere is astonishing, yet serene. I am instantly at ease. Even though it is still daylight, there are scented candles burning all around the roo

My Lesbian Fantasy
So there I was with a knot in the pit of my stomach. My heart was pounding. I was so nervous and scared, I felt like running away. But I knew I wouldn't. I have waited too long for this. I have fantasized about this moment for years, now my fantasy was about to become a reality... We met on the internet, FuBar. We seemed to hit it off instantly and began chatting friendly and informal. We went private and began talking of our mutual fantasies. We shared sexy e-mails for weeks. Then we decided to talk on the phone and ended up masturbating together. It was so hot, I can still hear you moan "I'm cumming". Then you asked me to meet you. Me the inexperienced one and you, the kind gentle experienced woman that I have grown to call friend. I had to, I just absolutely had to meet you, breathlessly I said yes..... The day came and we were to meet at a nightclub in town. I was so scared. I arrived early hoping to have a couple of drinks to calm my shaking hands. I had barely sat down when

For The Record
So as most of you know i moved to Texas with a certain someone...Obviously it didnt work out. I keep hearing many versions of the reasons why..since im not online that often anymore i guess ill defend myself this way! Remember there are two sides to every story...The reason it didnt work out was because the night before i got here a certain someone decided to sleep with someone else and then lie to my face about....and then got drunk and was mad that it all was laid out there decided to put his hands on me.....THAT IS THE REAL STORY!

Joys, Green Emeralded Eyes~
I want to see your silhouetteform a shaped 'S' with sensual jestI want your lips caressing my fleshtonguing my membrane, coming unrestI want your wrists before meand your mouth forming these words,"bind me, my master, send meinto a heavenly bliss of unknown strokes"dress in that leather, black wet the shinier bindings fit you the bestcome before me, then slowly begin to stripmake me believe i should take you can you be a naughty little slavefull of tantalizing delights and sensuous?be the temptress just once in these eyesand you will bring forth the hidden surpriseopen your wings, let the flower unfurlI want to take and sedate you like a harmless girlI want you to moan, then fight back the screamsas the strands make ribbons in flesh of creamcum for me, not witholding a single sighbring me the single tear of contentment from those green emeralded eyes... ~W.H. 2009~

A Mistress On The Plantation
A Mistress on the Plantation My name is Louise Antioch and I am a female psychopath. Having antisocial personality disorder isn't a disease. It's a lot of fun to me. Trust me on that one. A five-foot-ten, plump, green-eyed, blonde-haired woman without conscience. That is yours truly. One of the free spirits out there who can do anything at all without feeling guilty. These days, it's the early 1900s and I live in rural Georgia. My family has owned the Great House Farms for years. We've become short-staffed, so I hired some people to work for us. A lot of folks from the local black village were looking for work and I hired them. I paid them decent wages, and expected some good service. My most unruly worker was Sheila, a tall and muscular black woman from Atlanta. I decided to teach her a lesson. I invited her inside for some tea and crackers. As soon as she got inside, I cornered her. I had a demonic light in my eyes and I could tell it scared her. Good. Sheila was a large black w

A Night At The Club
It was a Friday night in mid June and some friends and I decided we should hit a rave. It was a beautiful night; we first went for dinner in a small intimate restaurant. After some fantastic food and much wine we started to head off to the party. Since most raves don't get started until well after midnight we took our time. Heading back to our apartments to put on our favourite clothes and check our makeup and hair. We also decided to drop some ecstasy and smoke some pot before the show. By the time we hit the show my head was starting to swim. I could feel the music wrap around me like a warm quilt on a cool winter night. I immediately got out on to the dance floor, closed my eyes and started to move as the music commanded me. I have no idea how long I was out there when I first felt the hands. I call them the hands, and see them in my minds eye as just that, disembodied hands, as if they belonged to some type of spirit. They first landed on my hips; facing forwards like

What Is This Thing Call Life.
Life is what you make it.You might be a bitch,you might be a whore.Me im a Saint and a demon.I'm not scared to be me,making people happy is what make it a bitch.This comes from living i will have more on life soon.

Exclusion
Exclusionby john p reedI am wearied by hearingthat my friends doing thingswithout me talk abouthow they really missall the things we used to dohow they really wishwe could be together morehow they really wantto be more with mehow they really do liketo be around me.What you don't remember isthat you do exclude meinconsiderately, by not rememberinghow you really missall the things we used to dohow you really wishthat we could be together morehow you really wantto be more with mehow you really do liketo be around me.To make those phrases trueyou only have to do as I do,you need only to rememberhow I really missall the things we used to dohow I really wishthat we could be together morehow I really wantto be more with youhow I really do liketo be around you.

The Poet's Fix
I saw him while walking the highways of Neptune, Id heard that he lived on the moonI tried just to glance without drawing attention, but he caught me faster than soon His whispers were louder than anyone’s yelling and somehow Id caught that mans eyeI fell in love with his laughter from here ever after Id always remember that June He taught lessons in riddles that taste just like skittles and his best friend was old father time Love was his mother and Pluto his brother he spoke of them all in his rhymes

Poetry
The tree was my best friend so I killed him. Chopped his family to the ground, to make myself a home. In this spot lies a parking lot where all dreams go to be forgot. The memory fades, but the stains never wash away Now broken, alone, thrown from my home. Only the devils play.

The Dam Ham! Hehe
This was told to me one summer, haha, too funny, and goes like this.... The preacher's wife walks into the deli, starts looking around and sees a ham, then asks the cashier about it. "Sir how much for this ham"? The cashier says "oh thats the dam ham" and she says "oh sir, you should not talk like that, i am the preacher's wife", he says "I know, but thats what it is called" so she says "okay" then buys it, then takes it home. Later she is in the kitchen, the preacher walks in and says, "honey, that ham smells great!" she says "oh thats the dam ham" he says " oh honey, you should not talk that way, your the preacher's wife" then she says, " i know, but thats what it is called" then he says, "well, okay". That evening, the family is sitting around the table, the preacher says " honey, can you please pass the dam ham"? the son yells " thats the spirit pop, pass the f**kin' tators!!!!"

My Mother ~marie Southern~
Marie Southern was a remarkable woman who did not find peace and happiness according to the world’s standards; rather she found contentment and joy from within herself. With vast amounts of inner strength, Marie faced her challenges head-on and was considered by many to be both a spiritual warrior and protector. Marie didn’t expect anything from anyone and never looked for a “free ride” either, always willing to work hard until she earned what she needed or desired. She fostered both a compassionate heart and generous spirit that greatly enriched the lives of all those within her reach.The 1950s are often referred to as the “Nifty Fifties” due in part to the tremendous changes within the culture of our nation. Rock ‘n roll burst onto the scene, the television became the dominant form of mass media, and the general prosperity enjoyed by many Americans led them to spend their leisure time taking in sports contests like never before. Also enjoying

Gay Pengies
A German zoo says a pair of gay male penguins are raising a chick from an egg abandoned by its parents. Bremerhaven zoo veterinarian Joachim Schoene says the egg was placed in the male penguins' nest after its parents rejected it in late April. The males incubated it for some 30 days before it hatched and have continued to care for it. The chick's gender is not yet known. Schoene said the male birds, named Z and Vielpunkt, are one of three same-sex pairs among the zoo's 20 Humboldt penguins that have attempted to mate. Homosexual behavior has been documented in many animal species. The zoo said in a statement on its Web site Thursday that "sex and coupling in our world don't always have something to do with reproduction."

Stutter Story
The Stutter StoryA teacher is explaining disabilities to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered..'The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well,' she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must have been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before she could say 'Shit,' the Rottweiler ate her!' The teacher had to leave the room. tff!!

I Need You Inside Me
With you I'm whole Before I met you, I thought I knew what joy and happiness were. Previously, what I thought were vibrant colors were merely just shades of gray. Love was a concept I understood with my head but it was foreign to my heart until you came into my life. With you I'm complete The beauty of our love is in our Blackness. The call and response of our cries of passion are like the complex melodies of jazz and the soulful ballads of Motown. The pounding, rhythmic beating of our hearts is like drums echoing out under the starry night sky. The feel of your smooth brown skin under my tender caress is like sweet melted chocolate intoxicating my taste buds. I need to feel you inside me Yours is the only key that fits my lock. My love for you is slippery wet . . . and . . . hot . . . and did I forget to mention oh so sweet. You feel that tingle don't you, that sensation in your body that signals the onset of your insatiable lust for me, that makes you want to ma

My Vip?
Will be ending on the 10TH of this month, at least I believe anyways. May not have another one for sometime although I did get my cam back from John's dads house so I'll be able to take newer pictures hopefully if the battery hasn't died on my ass...lol.... Much love to you all mostly DEB for getting the VIP for me to begin with.... Licks & Nibbles!

Legs Contest
The score is now ... me=225 her=202 the spread is getting out there it seems.. please vote for my legs in thigh high stockings in a contest on Fubar as the sexiest legs... YOU WILL NEED TO REQUEST TO BE FRIENDS OF CANDY SHOP in order to have access to the picture here >>>> http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=2516067&albumid=1646089&i=1715025749&idx=16

I Got Scared
I tried to look into your eyesBut I couldn’tI tried to touch your handBut I couldn’tI tried to kiss your lips But I got scaredYes ,I was scaredThat every time I got this closeIt ended upI think beautiful things in life,, like youMeant to be so pure so prettySo untouchableI guess all I can doIs to keep dreamingBecause you are a dream in my lifeAnd I wish this sweet dream to come true----------------------------------------W.B : FM

I Cant Write [type] In Fubar Case Lol
if i wanted to tell u how special you arei would have to tell you this firsti have wrote alot of poems and letters for other womenevery one has a lines about,for,or from herbut all i have written fits you like if it was written for,from and about youany joke can make me smileany sad moment can make me cryany woman can make me droolany special moment can make me writeany day can be my new day or last daybutyou always make me smile,cry,drool,and every day with u is my firstanyday without u is my last dayand you are the first ever who make me speechlessand cant write anythingthats not a bad thing you knowbecause its like miraclemight happen once in a life timethats if it happendand lucky me it didso the only words i can use when i want to talk to youare:I LOVE YOU---------------------W.B: FM

Friends
Ok so here it goes I really hate how you can only see so many of your friends at a time, when buying them drink and stuff, I care about most of my friends and want to keep in touch with them and I don’t want them to think I forgot about them L so if I do forget about you I am sorry J

It Is Amazing
It is amazing how some feelings for people are like a flame on a match fast intense and go out all most immeditaly after it is lite. Others are slow and take work to get it going and the flame is sometimes non-existent.

R.i.p Grandpa
I cant believe its been two years already i cant help it but i always get this way this time of year but what i can i say i miss the guy like crazy. He meant the world to me and still does. He pretty much helped raise me and no matter how bad i fucked up he never thought less of me and always managed to still believe in me no matter what. Still to this day i do alot of things in his memory especially music. This song reminds me of him so much and how much i miss him. Not to mention its one of my favorite bands..So check it out and maybe you will find the same meaning i do... "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" by Flogging Molly..I love you and miss you very much Grandpa..This ones for you "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" If I ever leave this world alive I'll thank for all the things you did in my life If I ever leave this world alive I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight Wherever I am you'll always be More than just a memory If I ever leave this world alive If I eve

Cinnamon Spider
A witch will burn when she's thrown into the fire Not her she'll peel and writhe but never expire She crawls on webs of lies I die up inside her to take what's mine that bitch the cinnamon spider I won't try and every time I tell that lie I live without guilt and I won't cry and I hope you love your life and live with your guilt Consumed by hate and guilt She'll never retire too old to fix too dead to ever acquire slit wrists - talk shit But she will never inspire a plan to save herself the cinnamon spider I won't try and every time I tell that lie I live without guilt and I won't cry and I hope you love your life and live with your guilt bite heads off those who fail and try to imply her forlorn despised I am the cinnamon spider I won't try and every time I tell that lie I live without guilt and I won't cry and I hope you love your life and live with your guilt and I am fine and I'll learn to take what's mine and live without guilt Oh yeah

Need Promos For Your Lounge? I'll Make Them!
Hey whats up all? If you got a lounge and you need some promos... hit me up! I'm a Graphic Designer and have been into art all my life as you can see.... if you just need a personal pic I can do that as well... Anywho's heres some of my previous work... and as soon as you ask if I'm online I will have them done within 30 mins after you have asked... if I'm not around send me a pm... if you would like anything special on them like what you want them to say or a certain pic... send it to me and I'll do it! I love making them! Most people pay me 100K or more to do them if you don't have that much anything above $50K is all right by me... if you just want 1 promo done then its under 50K... so hit me up I'd love to do it! Previous Work:

I Cant Make You
I CANT MAKE YOU THINK OF ME WHILE WATCHING A SUN SETTING NOR CAN I MAKE YOU THINK OF ME WHEN YOU SEE A COUPLE DANCING HOWEVER I CAN MAKE YOU THINK OF ME RIGHT NOW AS YOUR READING THIS AS I SIT HERE WITH HAIR COILED UP LOOSE CURLS BLOWING IN THE WIND SIPPING A CUP OF COFFEE IN A BIG TEE SHIRT WISHING THIS SHIRT HAD YOU STILL IN IT THAT THE BED WAS STILL WARM FROM YOU I MAY NOT MAKE YOU THINK OF ME BUT I DO THINK OF YOU EVERY MORNING I WAKE YOUR THE FIRST THING ON MY MIND EVERY NIGHT WHEN I CUDDLE MY PILLOW YOUR THE THOUGHT I HAVE

Help Me Reach Godmother (this Is Also My Bulletin)
Kristin is trying to become the newest Godmother.She is close to level and will be activating her autos today@5PM.She will also be bombing.So show this lady some love and help her level!Kristin fu owned by cyph1b14n@ fubarBully brought to you by: ♫BlackWidow♫@ fubar (repost of original by '♫BlackWidow♫' on '2009-06-05 07:20:08')(repost of original by '~Natural_Witch® ~PWN3D by the lovely ♠ Diana ♠ Your New Obsession Manager' on '2009-06-05 07:24:43')

Oh Well....
Oh well.. here it is. I am finally free and no crush for this year because someone just broke me up with no reason so I am looking new fu-owner and new girl who is better than I had before so if you have any question or anything like to asks.. Just leave me a message and I will return your call and many thanks!!!! :D Your friendly Guy; Chris

Talk About Vindictive
What kind of woman do you have to be to not even take your daughter to her dad to wish him a happy birthday. Just because we were fighting is no excuse for not doing that. This is something I will NEVER forgive you for. I hope you are happy with the choices that you have made and I hope you can continue to look yourself in the mirror each and every morning and be satisfied with the person you have become. You are in no way the person I meet and in my eyes you are now on the same level, if not lower, then you 2 xes.

A Woman
One Flaw In Women Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much

To Believe
To believe is to knowthat every day is a new beginning.It is to trust that miracles happen,and dreams really do come true. To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,to know the wonder of a stardust sky,and the wisdom of the man in the moon. To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,the innocence of a child's eyes,and the beauty of an aging hand;for it is through their teachings we learn to love. To believe is to find the strength and couragethat lies within us when it is timeto pick up the pieces and begin again. To believe is to know we are not alone,that life is a gift,and this is our time to cherish it. To believe is to know that wonderful surprisesare just waiting to happen,and all our hopes and dreamsare within reach..."If only we believe"

Might Be Put In The Hospital After Today
ok so not that to many of you people on here would read this anyway but to the ones that i KNOW will, i just wanted to let it be known that after today i may or may not be on for a a while. i got to go to the doctors today and based on what he says i might be put in the hospital today or sometime this weekend. i will make sure the TRUE friends on here are kept updated on what is goin on.i do not know why i bother to write these things cuz some people on here are all about leave me this and that but when you do and ask for the same in return ya get nothing but oh well i dont need that kind of people ./ that is exactly why my list went down WAYYYYY short and is about to go down again. so therefore IF you read this and dont like what i got to say oh well delete me then cuz honestly i really dont care. i DO however would like for the very few friends..well i should say TRUE friends that i got on here to stop by while i am gone and keep me posted on what is goin on

Tell Him Bratt Sent Ya!!autos On And Bomb Later
CLICK HIS PIC Stilts - Fu owned by Bratt@ fubar OK, HE HAS AUTO 11'S ON FRIDAY NIGHT!! NO Drama & CLICK HIS PIC & HAVE FUN :)) CUM LEVEL UP ALL!! Stilts - Fu owned by BrattTHANX,FRIENDS!!!! ~Bratt~ ♥~Bratt~♥@ fubar

Ensign: Give Me And Make Me
All ye inhabitants of the world, and dwellers on the earth, see ye, when he lifteth up an ensign on the mountains; and when he bloweth a trumpet, hear ye. Isaiah 18:3 AN ENSIGN ON THE MOUNTAINS 5 June 2009 The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 is something that most kids, if we’re honest with ourselves, will go through. And it’s not limited to the ages of childhood; everyone has the urge to try to make their own way in the world; normally, this is healthy because our children cannot dwell indefinitely with Mom and Dad. It defeats God’s purpose for men and women (to leave father and mother, per Genesis 2:24) and demeans us because we aren’t making or aren’t perceived as making the effort to get out from our parent’s shadow. “And [Jesus] said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me.

All Smiles
granted it's been a while since I've posted in my blog but there are reasons-- I've been just sorting out some thing happening with myself but I'm gaining control and its all coming out roses, so to speak.. I've found someone that means the world to me and I couldnt ask for a better love...who is she? now now now, such things arent meant to be aired in public *winks*

Comprehension
people dont seem to understand much when I try to explain myself. like, my mom used to bug all the time about what a worthless degenrate loser I am, until she agreed to help me get my passport a few years back and had to go through beaurocratic hell to do so. seriously, she spent the entire week long 30+ hours of arguments and bribery asking me over and over how she and my sister got the same process done in about 15 minutes so why was it taking so long with me. it just does. I am hated. HATED like hitler stalin and pol pot rolled into one. and I never killed anybody or anything neither. yesterday I tried to get a reservation for a time slot on the computers here at the library for today and the reservation machine gave me a 6 minute slot. the normal time frame is 1 1/2 hours, it gave me 6 minutes. when I went to ask the librarian what was going on he said "Ive never even heard of anything like this before!" thats me. and still, since most people ignore me completely unless theyre

Eveybody Look At This Please
Little Nevaeh was found in the river just 5 miles from our house. She was found on the river bank and was encased in cement.All of Monroe is upset and enraged at the fate of this precious child whose mother hung around child molesters. Nevaeh called one of them daddy George. Ann Howard

Bladder
WELL IM HOME SAFE AND SOUND.. IN MY OWN BED.. CUDDLE WITH MY FAVORITE PILLOW.. HEHE.. I STILL HURT LIKE A BITCH.. AND PEE LIKE A RACE HORSE LOL.. BUT THE SURGERY WAS GREAT THEY SAID.. SO.. WE WELL WAIT AND C... MUAH

"everlasting Shine"
EVERLASTING SHINE You brighten up my World You light up my life You make my Heart leap,skip a beat You make my day smile:) Though our eyes had never met reality I dream of the day our lips would met eternity My Life is enjoyed each and everytime your around Looking into your mystifying eyes I´ve seen thousand of stars*** I have no fear to follow my dreams Cause I know you will light my ways You are my one and only fantasy My Lifetime one desire My everything is You thats own my Heart(*v*)

Birth Of Grandson
my 7th grandchild, Daniel, was born March 29th. he wasn't due to enter the world until June30th. he weighed under 2 lbs. a valve in his heart wasn't closing and he had bleeding on the left side of his brain. it's now June 5th and the valve is functioning properly, they haven't said anything about the bleeding though. he has been off the ventilator for a while and the feeding tube is gone as well. he is estimated to weigh about 4 lbs and will hopefully be able to go home around the beginning of july. but i still need to kick his father's ass. Daniel would have gone full term if daddy hadn't tried to push mommy down a flight of stairs. way to much stress on his mommy. i hope all of you have been well and doing great.

The Heart Of A Lonely Knight
Within this lonely heart, is love.Within this shattered soul, a passion burns.Within this mortal flesh, feelings reside.Within this twisted mind, a thousand thoughts and more.Beneth this guise of what you see, and what I choose to show is so much more then you may ever know!Within this darkness do I rome, lost again within it's hold.A light of fire did once peirce the night, so again I seek a spark to start a flame.This path is long with many forks, and the road to take is always the hardest.Many battles will I fight along the way, though maybe not of blood be told.Battles of mind, heart and soul will rage within me.Choices to make and ones already made will haunt me as well along my way.But I will stand fast against them and look twards my next opponet with confidince. For even if he wins a battle I will face him again with the knowlage of are last dual.With my wits and knowlage as my wapons I will surely over come this path in life that I chouse to walk.Along the way a new com

Update On Va
After all the run around that we have gotten in the past two years, finally something is going to be done. We had a second opinion appointment in San Diego today. We spent the entire day down there reviewing all of his medical records and getting their recommendations as to what they feel needs to be done to help resolve all the issues with my husband's knees and left elbow. Their recommendation after sending him to Xray to get films on both knees and elbow are as follows: ***The elbow diagnosis is ulnar neuropathy (ulnar nerve needs moved). This recommendation to have surgery needs to be done as soon as possible. ***The left knee needs to have a scope done to clean out the bone spurs that have re-occurred to minimize further damage to the miniscus and prolong having to require a complete knee replacement at this time. ***No longer going to keep adding narcotics to therapy as a "preventative option" to surgery. With all that being said, the specialist that we were originally seei

My Life..
HI WHERE DO I START.I WAS BORN IN VIRGINA AT FT.EUSTIS ARMY BASE.MY MOTHER IS GERMAN AND MY FATHER A GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY.I WAS RAISED IN GERMANY FOR 16 YEARS AND SPEAK, READ AND WRITE IT PERFECTLY.I WAS MARRIED AT A YOUNG AGE OF 17 AND HAD MY DAUGHTER AT 19. I WAS MARRIED TO HER DAD FOR 9 VERY LONG YEARS....SHE IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD AND STILL TRYING TO FIND HER WAY.I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I WAS A FIREFIGHTER AND WORKED FOR RURAL METRO AMBULANCE. NOW LIFE IS HELL. THERE IS ALOT I WISH TO DO BUT,SO MANY ROAD BLOCKS...I'M SO TIRED...IF IT WASN'T FOR MY DOG BUDDY I WOULD JUST END IT ALL.

Sad Tomorrow
I don't even know why Do you think I'm a mess Maybe someday but now you're gone When I do as I please I'm no different to me Am I crazy or have good luck You're the talk of the town So you say I don't know why you're so glad When my head's filled with sorrow So maybe if I fade away There'll be no sad tomorrow My whole life is a drag Baby listen to me When I go away, will you care I feel naked and weird Do you see what I hear Maybe one day I'll die, who cares Hide away in complete Misery

If...time In A Bottle...
If a picture paints a thousand words, Then why can't I paint you? The words will never show the you I've come to know. If a face could launch a thousand ships, Then where am I to go? There's no one home but you, You're all that's left me too. And when my love for life is running dry, You come and pour yourself on me. If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way. If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die, I'd spend the end with you. And when the world was through, Then one by one the stars would all go out, Then you and I would simply fly away If I could save time in a bottle The first thing that I'd like to do Is to save every day Till Eternity passes away Just to spend them with you If I could make days last forever If words could make wishes come true I'd save every day like a treasure and then, Again, I would spend them with you But there never seems to be enough time To do the things y

Cheaters If You Rate My Pics I Will Check Them Belive Me!
I really am sick of low lives who try to scam on fukin fubucks its just pathetic I mean it really is! its not even real money! I will start adding the cheaters to this blog because I"m truly sick of it with all the proof cause I dont Fuk Around I screen shot everything because of people like this First her Picture is her is her Private Message First one mind you! I Checked Folders she mentioned! so next few pics will be of the 1st 2 pages then a few pages in to the folder and she never went in any pages but the FIRST PICTURE THATS IT! BEING THE PERSON I AM I paid this cheater for the pictures i did see her name in. She got more than she deserved because she didnt rate a full 300 pics it was a folder of 250 pics and I sent her 150K Fubucks and here is my screen shot with my very nice but rude message but she deserved it! Just like others deserve to know shes a cheater! Please Leave my page if your a Cheater and dont Really Rate Pics I cant Afford your Azz! Mar

3 Things
3's About Me Three Names I go by 1. Tiggy 2. Mom 3. Marylea Three Jobs I have had in my life 1. Massage Theropist 2. Pharmacy Tech 3. Accountant at good ol' Walmart Three Places I have lived 1. Memphis TN 2. Toronto Canada 3. OKC Three Things I Like to watch 1. People 2. Ghost Hunters 3. movies Three places I have been 1. Niagara Falls (Canada side) 2. The Alamo 3. Pensacola FL Three of my favorite foods 1 BBQ 2. Enchiladas 3. Pasta Things I am looking forward to 1. Talking with Michael 2. Summer Vacation 3. September...

Sunshines Rise
Colors so bright Imagination of vivid light Twin pine skies Just beneath sun shines rise Glassy waters, overlaying mist Melting soul, with passionate kiss Twisted fate… Irony must wait Thoughts in disarray Fantasies to play Powerlessness Flawlessness Intermittent dreams And silent screams Helpless waiting Emotions fading Drifting afar In a distant star A guilty plea Touched by insanity Visions distraught Lessons taught

A Glimpse Of Happiness
Trapped in a hole I can't crawl out Its me they all doubt pinned, with no remorse out of time of course raining with pain crossed, an alittle insane no longer fun who is the one outside to in even in victory noone will win i cant believe nor concieve the sun went down and then rose i've gotten nowhere just froze screamin for help who will hear all by myself shed one last tear screamin so silent lived a life filled with anger, so violent take it away no longer play body enslaved sould enraged take one last chance this life i dance shadows under darkness wonder within im lost a single life is cost would trade all of this for a glimpse of happiness

Update ... Sexy Legs Contest
me - 281 her - 221 please vote for my legs in thigh high stockings in a contest on Fubar as the sexiest legs... YOU WILL NEED TO REQUEST TO BE FRIENDS OF CANDY SHOP in order to have access to the picture here >>>> http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=2516067&albumid=1646089&i=1715025749&idx=16 the pic is NSFW

What Cartoon Are You
Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern 20 cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test.Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done Then forward this to all your friends ( including the person who sent it to you ) and change the subject of this message to which character you are.1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date? a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)c) Painting in the park (5 pts) d) Rock concert (1 pt.)e) Going to the movies (3 pts.) 2. What is your favorite type of music? a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)b) Alternative (1 pt.)c) Soft Rock (4 pts

Special K
ketamine (Ketamine Hydrochloride Special K, K, Dorothy) Also see: urban75 Ketamine info in the House Of Commons! Ketamine is a short-acting general anaesthetic that has hallucinogenic and painkilling qualities that seem to affect people in very different ways. First used as a recreational drug in 1965, ketamine - that's 2-(2-chlorophenyl)-2-(methylamino)- cyclohexanone chemcial fans - most commonly comes as a powder, but can also be seen in liquid and tablet form. Some people describe a speedy rush within a few minutes of sniffing the powder (20 minutes if taken as a pill, quicker if injected), leading to powerful hallucinations and even out of body experiences (the 'K Hole'), along with physical incapacitation. If you're on a dancefloor, music can sound heavy, weird and strangely compelling, lights seem very intense and physical co-ordination can fall apart along with an overall feeling of numbness. Some people feel paralysed by the drug, unable to speak without slurring, while ot

Today June 6
I am still feeling awful from the other day, and to top it off, I woke up with a damn sore throat :( I am assuming its part of the pleurisy bit since its caused by a viral. But I need to shake it off and feel good by this afternoon or fake it to make it. Getting picked up at 3:30 to head downtown to the opera house. My daughters graduation ceremony starts at 5pm. I am so proud of her!! My little girl is going to be walking across the stage! Guess she isn't so little anymore but hey, I can still wish. I will be taking a lot of pictures thanks to iDaHo lending me her digital camera for the occasion. I won't be able to upload them though since I am not a vip status, so if you want to see email me and I can send some...lol Monday sometime I will be leaving for Montana for the funeral, so I won't be on for a few days, I am not going to take my laptop with me. Have a beautiful Saturday everyone...I'm going to take a pain pill and lay down for a bit to try to be up to par for the Graduati

The Gift
I have a gift to give you Please open it with care, This gift is very dear to me , and also very rare. I cannot give you diamonds, or shower you with gold. But these they give no shelter in a world thats grown so cold. It's all I have to offer, I know it may look small, But deep inside I know It is the best gift of them all. There is no other like it, I'm sorry , it's not new. But if you say you want this gift I'll give my heart to you!

The Hunted
I tread the darkness within the night,staying away from the cold moons light.I am an outcast within the human race,finding myself in a world out of place.I hunt these woods alone and cold,a creature made from an animal mold.Was it my fault that I was born this way?Why is it that I am the one to have to pay?My eyes light up as I hear them cry,“Lets hunt the demon and make it fry!”I smell their fear upon the chilly wind.It wasn’t me who was the one that sinned.I move now towards them without a fright,Its time I end this now and make things right.A shot rings out and I feel the surge of pain,the skies begin to darken and soon does it rain.I continue my rush towards that group of foes,howling out in torment from all of my woes.My blood splatters now another shot has rang out,but yet I continue my path is laid out.I hear their hearts beating a pace within my own,wondering if I deserved this pain that I’ve sown.Another loud sound and my steps begin to slow,I’m g

Call To Arms My Brothers
Call to arms my brothers,Its time to sharpen those swords.Let us kill some others,and break their backs with boards.Call to arms my brothers,Its time to done our armour.Let us kill some others,Like the enemies farmer.Call to arms my brothers,Its time we wield our blades,Let us kill some others,Until the daylight fades.Call to arms my brothers,Its time to use our shields,Let us kill some others,And burn down all their fields.Call to arms my brothers,Its time we paid the price.Let us kill some others,For their blood will suffice.Call to arms my brothers,Let them hear our call.Let us kill some others,And watch as their castles fall.Call to arms my brothers,Its time we head on home.Let us leave these others,For there are none left to roam.

Facing Your Fate
Darkness closing all around,To hell my soul is being bound.I begin to feel the last heart beat,and soon death enters for me to meet.I'll welcome him into my home,and within his mind my words will roam.I'll weave a story of hurt and pain,of lovers lost within the drowning rain.As I stare deep into his eyes,I can hear the sound of each souls cries.His head will begin to lower down,and on his skeleton mouth appears a frown.He stands up looking at me once more,and speaks these simple words of lore."I've passed through time and taken lives,seperating to many husbands from wives.""Yours words are spoken from the heart,and with that you and I shall part."He turned away and left my sight,and I knew then that Death was right.For lives are taken and pain is cleaved,and for those dead I have yet grieved.But never give up when life seems rough,for you can show the world your tough.

It Nevers Rains.........
It never rains, but it always pours, at least in my life. My van broke down today, and I don't think its fixable. I am out of work and have no income. I can't even go and sign up for unempolyment benifits, that office is in another town thats 20 miles away. I can't even begin to look for a job, cause I would need a vehicle to find one. And if I did get one I would need a vehicle to get to it. Yea I give up. I don't know why it seems like I have to suffer so much, I really don't. I know people who are a lot worse and unkind than I have ever tought about being, and yet they seem to have it easy. I just don't get it, and I am done trying to figure it out.

The Truth.
You can't handle me, no one can! If you wanna compare notes I can bring out the "big guns", the slef pity pot that so full of shit that it is constantly overflowing. My boots can walk, I ain't trippin' and I know there are people out there that have it so worst than me - (Give my love and respect to those fighting for this crazy cuntry

The Bomb List
Ok Next time i have an Active fuBomB i want to have a lit ready.... So Here is your chance... Copy and paste a link to Your BomB Folder in a comment and i will be sure to include Your Folder the Next Time I Bomb. So It is Really Up to you :) I will BomB my Family 1st, then my Fu-Friends who have BomBed me... then Ill follow this List :) So feel Free to BomB me and move up in the List :)

May Your Day Be Special
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplish

.
The sun and moon Quite an enchanted pair Opposing forces in harmony Each with strength and weakness to bear Neither being complete In the absence of the other Each finding balance In the presence of one another The sun bright and hot Determined and strong Only yielding to the moon The moon passionate and deep

Funny Flirts That Have Been Sent To Me
"WEE WILLY WINKIE, FUCK MEFOR A TWINKIE?? IN ANDOUT WITHOUT A DOUBTYOU'LL WANT SUMMORE...THATS FOR SURE :"IM LIKE BURGERKING...YOUCAN HAVE ME YOUR WAY :)MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER??"STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHTBIG DICKS I SEE TONIGHT IWISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHTSTICK U IN PUSSY THATSTIGHT"HEY ITS SUMMERTIME!!! IWANNA RIDE YOU LIKE AROLLERCOASTER, YOU GAME?"HICKORY DICKORY DOCK...IWANNA SUCK UR COCK...I'LLMAKE IT SPIT, YOU'LL LICKMY TIT...HICKORY DICKORYDOCK. Received 3 days ago"TWINKLE TWINKLE BIG OLEDICK, HOW I WONDER Y URTHICK....STICK IT IN NMAKE ME SCREAM...PULL ITOUT AND MAKE ME CREAM :)""WHAT GOES UP, MUST COMEDOWN..FUCK ME SUCK ME ALLAROUND...TOO THE LEFT ORTO THE RIGHT....LET'S GETNAUGHTY AND SCREW ALLNIGHT =]""UP HIGH, DOWNLOW...COULD YOU BE THEONE IM GUNNA BLOW?? TOTHE LEFT, TO THE RIGHTHOLY HELL UR A SEXXISIGHT :)"ROSES ARE WHITE ANDVIOLETS ARE RED LET MESHOW YOU THE WAY TO MYBED ;)"LETS PLAY ARMY...YOU LAYDOWN AND ILL BLOW YOU UP!YOU DOWN??""FINISH THIS STATEMENT"LET'S ______________

Us
WE HAVE BEEN CHASING AFTER A DREAM CALLED TRUE LOVE, AND WE HAVE FOUND IT! WE ARE UNIQUE IN EACH WAY BUT WE ARE ALIKE WHEN IT COMES TO ME AND YOU! YES...WE MAY FIGHT AND BITCH AT ONE ANOTHER, AND THEN WE CUDDLE AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER AFTERWARDS, BUT WHEN IT IS ALL SAID AND DONE, WE ARE THE PERFECT ONE FOR ANOTHER. I MAY NOT HAVE THE BEST LOOKS, AND I MAY GET UPSET AT THOSE LIL THINGS, BUT IM A GUY, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SINCE YOUR A FEMALE THAT I CANT BITCH AT YOU NOW AND THEN? LOL I KNOW YOU CAN BE A BITCH AND A TOTAL ASSHOLE, BUT WE ARE GROWING CLOSER TOGETHER EVEN THO WE ARE MILES APART FROM HOLDING ONE ANOTHER. WE MAY NOT THINK ABOUT IT OR REMEMBER OF IT, BUT WE DO DREAM OF ONE ANOTHER AS WE LAY OUR HEADS DOWN IN SEPERATE BEDS AND CRY OURSELVES ASLEEP...BUT WE KNOW THAT ONE DAY THOSE DREAMS WILL COME TRUE WE STAND FACING EACH OTHER AT THE ALTAR SAYING OUR "I DO'S" AND "I LOVE YOU'S" TO ONE ANOTHER IN A GREAT DAY OF HOLY MATRIMONY... NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE SPEND ANYMORE TIME LIKE THIS AP

Lost In Thought
I walk upon high on waters edge skipping rocks and thinking of the past. I comtemplate the things we said, our vows and promises left for no other person to understand. I kill time with thoughts and fake smiles pushing back tears. Thoughts of wasted days where I had no you to hold in my arms. I think of the hospital nights and the jail time for all the fights. I think of the way we once were and start to remember everything. I can remember the smell of your taste as you would lie next to me and tell me your secrets. I can remember the days we fought and the days we laughed for no apperant reason. I can remember the simple goodbyes we shared as you left with quite whispers of love. I think of the day we shared our last kissed and then stood in the rain. I looked deep into your blue eyes and felt the pain of all the butterflies dieing at once. I looked up at you, watching as a tear rolled down ur face and mixed in with the rain drops, only to see the pain behinde your eyes as well. I r

Help
Why do the inner workings of life continue to change? From good to bad, bad to good, back and forth, like an unpredictable revolution that changes course whenever. Leaving the person completely unaware of what will happen to them, they take the path that best suits them in hopes that the outcome will be what they expect. Unfortunatly, expectations are what they are, an expectation. In golf, the player makes their decisions in hopes that it's the best one and gets them to the cup in the least amount of strokes. What no player expects is for the elements to change mid swing and send the ball where they don't want it to go, changing their plans all together. What i'm trying to say is no matter what we do to prepair ourselves the outcome is as unpredictable as the weather. I ask this because my life has taken many turns, some of them good but mostly bad. I've changed my ways as best I can but for some reason or another, I find myself right back where I started. I've been an asshole most o

About My Poetry
Before anyone goes off about what a sick twisted freak I am...... Realise one thing..... Not everything you read is true...... Is a fiction book true? No So why would anyone think my poetry would be something that would actually be true? My poetry is a release for me. Away for me to vent my raw emotion. If I did not have my poetry...... Then ya I would return to my old ways of going into bars getting drunk and picking people out at random and beating them to a bloody pulp. But luckily for those innocent people....I write instead of fight.

Bad News
My aptd mom found something out about herself.... She has not told that many ppl about.. She is going to call me some time this week coming up....... it is not good news at all... then found out that one of my other -friends got some bad news too... I donot know if I can take any thing else right now.. plus my sons are with there daddy still that fukking jerk off...... i just want to hide.. i have my friends to talk to ..

Poor Kitty
Ok so some bad stuff went down involving my sisters cat Atlas (if you MUST know PM me) and now he cant move his back legs. We dont know why. I mena hes ok and everything, but still. I know hes not MY kitty ( that would be Alexander the Great A.K.A Xander) but I have made it my job to care for him and love him. He sleeps on my bed with me. I just wish I knew what was wrong with him

The First Principle
The Founders of the United States of America had what seemed an insurmountable task when forging the founding documents of a new and different, free, nation. There were many different peoples and ideas to contend with, and how to make this country united, without being oppressive was quite a job. Socialism had been tried by the Governor in Jamestown, which was a dismal failure. Everyone was to put the fruits of their labor into the general welfare for all to draw out, including those that did not work. Problem was that some decided not to work, and still they would get what they needed. Soon the ones pulling from the general pool without adding in were putting a burden on those that were, and it was increasing. The governor stopped this practice. It seems that when someone is offered something for free, they would rather take it, and then work for it. Production goes down, slows and disappears, and those that do not produce want more and more. The only thing redistribution of

Lost My Way
I was just a kid, maybe 12 years old, I lay alone inside of my roomAnd hold a chrome 45 that I stole from my dadDidn't know it had a bullet loaded in the gatTill I go and pull it back and let it go and watch it shatter the glassNo control at all, it happened so fast, I lied and said it was a stoneWhen he came home and found his gun unloadedHe exploded and grabbed me by my throat and proceeded to slap meI was bleeding so badlyIt was streaming on the matress where he beat meHe's laughing as I try to fight back, just like thatHe walked out of my room, I wish he'd walk out of my life and never look backAnother day of telling people that I fell down the stairsAnother day of giving people dirty looks and glaresDon't act as if you cared cause if you did you'd be thereAnother day I want to run away but I don't know whereEvery, everyday I fall down, fall down on my knees and prayWill I live to see the day where everything will be okMy family is destroyed now I lost my wayCause every, everyday I

I Wrote This Last Year, But It Sums Up My Political Beliefs Well.
Today I was a soldier. This message deals mostly with the men I have encountered lately. But women, if any one can demand more, it's you.. I was in Dublin Ca. on military business. So I was in uniform, and as usually happens, I got a some questions about my political beliefs. But Sadly this day was not too different. In fact it was all too similar. Usually there is a good mix of what I think of the war and the candidates as well as...Get this. Gay people...In the military, getting married, and any number of other gay topics. All up the state, From the Bay area to Chico. Everywhere i stopped I got the question. "So what do you think about the new gay marriage law?" If you didn't know, Today California started allowing gay marriages. Bam! There it is. Yes you can. So some how, as a man in uniform I became a historical point of interest. (Thanks Darc.) Everywhere I went I could not avoid the question. "What do you think?" Well, here it is. I think;

More On My Politics.
"The environment will come first, even at the sacrifice of industry. We are America. We are the Human race. We will survive the growing pains.""Women will have the right to chose what they do with their bodies just as men do. Especially to save a life." "Our citizens will spend their lives with and even marry whomever they choose. Religeous freedom is more than simply the enforcement of the majority and the conditional tolerance of the rest.""The responsibility of each citizen to use firearms responsibly will remain in their hands. We will never forget the lessons learned in the past and today by forcibly disarmed populations.""Our military will remain the most advanced, well supplied fighting force on the planet. Never to fall behind and risk a lapse in the safety and security of our citizens.""Our Service men and women will be concentrated on the shores and in the heart land of our own nation. Our allies will always be a concern and supported, but the rise and fall of natio

My Grandma's Obituary
Katharine C. "Katy" Bucksbaum, 77, of Toledo, formerly of Galion, died Monday, June 1, 2009 at University of Toledo Medical Center, after a 14 month illness.Born Sept. 14, 1931 in Morrow County, she was the daughter of the late James Fitzpatrick and Velma (Weaver) Fitzpatrick. She was preceded in death on Nov. 14, 1995 by her husband, Thomas B. Bucksbaum, whom she married Jan. 16, 1960.She was a graduate of Marengo High School in 1949 and attended The Ohio State University.Katy was a part of Galion Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. She was a member of Ohio Association of Public School Employees, a charter member of Prevention Walking Club of Pennsylvania and was an advocate for all young women to get a good education. Previously, she was involved with her husband, Tom, with the Mansfield/Ontario General Motors Retiree's and the local United Auto Workers functions.Katy retired from Galion City Schools where she was a school bus driver. She also worked in home health care sine 1991, m

Another Example Of The Many Interesting People I Encounter...
My past experience working with veterinarians has introduced me to some...off beat...people :) Phone rings at an ungodly hour this morning. It's a fax machine ~ already, my day isn't beginning very well. Anyone who knows me knows I am NOT a morning person and I don't appreciate some bullshit phone call to a wrong number...before the sun is up at that! So, I drag my ass out of a very nice sleep and do my thing to get ready for work. As I approach the interstate what do I see? A TRAIN! Of course, why wouldn't I? I think good ole Murphy was tailgating me. I stop at Circle K to get some coffee...with one eye open I push the button --- ah the delicious aroma of convenience store coffee *sighs* Adding one of those nifty little Stok shots, I make my way to the register to check out. The credit card machine eats my receipt; while this does not bother me, it seems to leave the attendant dumbfounded......I simply asked that she not worry about it as I do have to make my way to work. She fr

Alone And Scared
I sit here in this room alone, as i so often do, as the pain and sadness fill my heart. Longing, wanting, needing to be close to him, wrapped tightly in his arms. His warm breath on my neck as he whispers softly in my ear, " baby it will all be ok, i am here for you always and forever ". Wanting to tell him everything i am feel inside, wanting and needing these things so much it hurts, yet i knowing it will not come. so i sit here alone in this room as i so often do with a heavy heart as the pain and fear continue to grow. How i wish i could tell him i am so scared of the days to come, so unsure of what will become of my life. Wanting to tell him i need him so much yet the fear of being rejected by the one and only i hold so close to my heart, "the love of my life " and so the fear and uncertainty keeps me from reaching out to him. June 06 2009

Just Another Silly~
Just another silly because I can't think of anything to write~ A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" She asked gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."

The Biker
JUST A BIKER> > I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store> line.> But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the> collection plate last> Sunday.> > I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other> on the sidewalk.> But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local Mall.> > I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant> when you saw my> bike parked out front. But you didn't see me attending> a meeting to raise> more money for the hurricane relief.> > I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I> rode by. But you> didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your> cigarette butt out> the car window.> > I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children. But> you didn't see> me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the> homeless.> > I saw you stare at my long hair. But you didn't see me> and my friends cut> ten inches off for Locks of Love.> > I saw you roll your eyes at our Leather jackets and gloves.> But you didn't>

Get Well Soon Texasgurl...
I was told today that my best friend Texasgurl had a stroke...please show her some love and repost this if you can.. thank you NewPatriot imikimi - Customize Your World! ~~ ♥ texasgurl ♥ ~~ aka DeMoNAnGeL #6@ fubar

Help Pamela Stay With Fubar
motivesgirl@ fubar Search your heart, search your feelings, please. My friend Pamela is thinking of leaving Fubar. Lets help convince her to stay. Remember the times when you felt all alone online, remember all your heartaches, your pain. Friends dont let friends feel alone. Lets comfort her. Thank you for your time. motivesgirl@ fubar

War Y
Some people fight for other people to live, even if they don't know it so the next time u see a service member just go up and shake there hand. Because of them u are able to do so, and show them u care it's hard over hear ok.

Bloodsucker & Lycanthrope
Bloodsucker & Lycanthrope In the darkest of shadowsI find youWatching and waitingFor Prey a newI walk over and sit downoff to the sideWatching and waiting for my light to shineCreatures of the nightare you and IMortal enemies acording to kindYet side by side in loveour lives are combinedThe thirst that corsesin your bloodgives mortal foodthe taste of mudThe taste of fleshraw and newbetter to methan any kings stewHere we sitNight upon nighttwo hunters waitingfor the last ray of lightDark and cloudyor a moon full and brightwe hunt togetherthroughout the nightWhen morn comeswe go back homeYou to your slumberand I to protect our home© 2009 by G.R.Kuder

Foot Prints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamedhe was walking along the beach with the LORD.Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.For each scene he noticed two sets offootprints in the sand: one belongingto him, and the other to the LORD.When the last scene of his life flashed before him,he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path ofhis life there was only one set of footprints.He also noticed that it happened at the verylowest and saddest times in his life.This really bothered him and hequestioned the LORD about it:"LORD, you said that once I decided to followyou, you'd walk with me all the way.But I have noticed that during the mosttroublesome times in my life,there is only one set of footprints.I don't understand why whenI needed you most you would leave me." The LORD replied:"My son, my precious child,I love you and I would never leave you.During your times of trial and suffering,when you see only one set of footprints,it was then that I ca

Fork In The Road
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Rober Frost

I Think I Love You
"I Think I Love You" I'm sleeping right in the middle of a good dream when all at once i wake up from somethign that keeps knocking at my brain before i go insane i hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed screaming out the words i dread I think I love you! this morning i woke up with this feeling i didnt kno how to deal with and so i just decided to myself id hide it to myself and never talk about it and did not go and shout when you walked into the room i think i love you i think i love you so what am i so afraid of im afraid that im not sure of a love that theres no cure for i think i love you is that what life is made of though it worries me to say that i've never felt this way believe me u really dont have to worry i only wanna make you happy and if u say hey go away i will but i think better still i better stare out and love you do u think i have a case let me ask you to your face i think i love you i think i love you so what am i so afraid of im afraid that im not sur

Broken Wings
It was many many years ago I was green and young in life I didn't know that there were guys with hearts of ice I never could have imagined the harm that they could do to well meaning girls and their lives But like a hailstorm from hell he rained down upon this bird broke her wing and left her for dead Though the storm passed quickly and the sun came out again the little bird never healed just kept crying in the sand because she could never fly again But you can't tell me that it was meant to be for me to stand here now with my feet in the sand Because I was meant to soar to kiss the clouds while riding a gentle breeze Yet here I am after all these years just a bird with a broken wing crying in the sand

Reflections
It was the end of everything For both you and I The world that we knew Was now set to die But since that world brought me Nothing but pain I could care less that it Will never be the same But somehow that didn’t stop me From cling to fears Even as the day of ending Is drawing near So what’s a girl like me supposed To do tonight? When everything in the world Just seems to right I can hear the whispers come from The past again Everything we have I just never Want it to end I know that I must be brave For my own fate Because I know that love will never Just sit and wait While I sit here in the dark And begin to pray Wishing to the stars above That my love will stay I know that if I just Keep all my faith That our love will never Start to dissipate But it’s hard to remain So solid and true When the past begins to Sneak up on you But when the stars come out For the night My love for you will burn Just as bright Because there’s not much That I can do When there’

My Love For You Goes Like This...
The first time we talked, it was like I was talking to someone who knew what love meant. We knew from the time we first laid eyes on one another that this was going to be different. We are unique from one another, and I know that’s why we grow more and more closely together. We do fight and we do get on one another, but we still have a way of showing how much we care for one another. And honestly, I believe we ride each others ass to do things because its not just what we got to do, and because we cant take the easy way out anymore, its because we are trying to make this work out so bad because we both know how much the other one of us feels for you or for me. I know I’m not the best guy out there, and I know I’m not all hot shit, but I what is out there for me. I can’t imagine what or where or who I would be with if I wasn’t with you. You’re my guardian angel and you are my hero. There is no one or anything that I could cherish more than I do you.

I've Known
I've known pain Digging, scratching, scraping pain splitting my soul in two like a knife thrust into my chest a pain washed in tears gone dry and sprinkled in pieces of shattered dreams Yes, I've known that pain I've known loss Empty, gaping, expansive loss turning beautiful memories into a painful black hole standing by in awe as the wrecking ball of life tears down what the heart has built Yes, I've known that loss too I've known hate Writhing, seething, burning hate the sight of nails digging into pillows wishing it was human flesh the growing lust for blood and suffering flowers as thoughts of torture fill your mind Yes, I've known that hate as well I've known love glorious, total, unconditional love the clearing of the skies and the coming of a new age the thing that makes the pain and loss worthwhile and takes the hate away Yes, I've known love

Mirror
I sit here and long to be the way that I was to have an open heart and to sing a song of love but it will never be as such I know that I'm trapped in darkness save this mirror that I touch I've come to conclude that I'm trapped inside this hell I know that my body is just an empty shell It's eternally and wholly too much now trapped inside my mind save this mirror that I touch I remember the days in which I used to laugh but now I feel my life's been severed that I'm missing my better half now the tears flow free down my crutch because I'm staring at my smiling face in this mirror that I touch

Who Is Athena?
Athena is my alter-ego, my nom de plume... the name I go by when I write something that is too naughty for my family to read. You can read Athena's controversial erotic story, Cold Blue Steel, on Literotica.com. It has the distinction of being one of only a very few stories in its category to win Literotica's coveted Editor's Choice award. Fair warning: it is explicit, NSFW, and deals with nonconsent and D/s themes. Plenty of people hate it and consequently think I am one sick puppy. *wink* Maybe I am pretty out there in some ways, but I've come to terms with the deepest, darkest parts of myself... not only that, but I love and cherish them as valued components of who I am. I owe this in part to reading "My Secret Garden" and "Women on Top" by Nancy Friday, both books about women's sexual fantasies. I read them many years ago and they helped me realize that I am not alone in the sexual fantasies I enjoy. I will share some other writings of mine here. If they pique your interes

"nas
" NASTY GIRL"Prominent citizen's in your towntaught to respect the all your lifePatted you on the head as a child,Told you to make something of your mindNow your grown and curiouslooking to share your skills with the worldAnd as you start to explore and discovereven when you find things are not so prettyThey always told you TELL THE TRUTHAnd so you purposefully AnnounceUndeniable, Unfortunate truth:Powerful peopleHeinous crimesyears of liesThe world turns round on blackmail subtle threatssecret surveillance winks and nodsSympathy for the victim's makes you weakThreats of ViolenceCriminal OR State?Now your the targetAbout to learn the lesson:THE Emperor HAS LOVELY CLOTHES AND EVERYBODY KNOWS ITBeyond the violence ,The wickedest weapon of all:::::::::THE BLUNT

Forgive Or Not?
I've been kindly upset lately because my dad was sick and the doctors did some tests and one came back positive. granted the dr said it could be false and had it redone it still upset me. it upset my brother even more. my brother has been so upset and hasn't been able to talk to anyone about it, not even his gf because dad asked him not to say a thing to anyone. well dad never told him when he got the second results bak that they had came back that the first test was wrong. i went to hang out with my brother lastnight and he asked me if my dad had ever got the test done. I had no idea that he had not told my brother and i told him. I'd have told him sooner if I'd have known dad hadn't. my brother's been on the verge of a mental break down, he's been drinking really bad since he found out about the first test. He called my dad and confronted him with his concern for the effect of my dad's actions on me and him(my brother) and all the people around us. my brother loves dad very much but

Finally Up Date For Thos Of You Who Read It Before
let me start this out by saying iam not looking for someone to pity me or feel sorry for me i don't need my ego stroke come to think of it i don't got one but anyways.iam use to rejection after all my mother rejected me and i feel my father did too and the worst thing is i don't no way nor do i care any moremy father grew up with his dad but his dad never show him affection and me and him act way to much a like if you put us together in a room alone we would more then likely kill one another in fact i took my sword to him once before and mind you the man is 6ft6 iam not really sure on how much he weights tho and he is buff just go to show you i don't back down from no one.as for my mother like i said she rejected me when i was born she was 16 when she had meand she was 14 when she got her first job and that was to work in a bar she was a stripper a druggie a whore alcoholic and she still did that when she carried mei was in the hospital for a whole year i was a sick baby i had almost e

Go Comment On My Ass
i'm in a contest to win a bling pack. add the guy that is holding the contest, then bomb my photo with comments. here is the link to the photo. http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=1760428&albumid=1705781&i=2353339344&idx=0#457247170

My Heart Pulsates
The lights start moving but we keep stillEven without you moving your looks could killIn my arms I imagine you hereI tell myself there's nothing to fearEven as you stand there motionlessI find myself staring in a tranceOver odds, I come over to where you standBaby won't you come and take my handMusic blares, you stand next to meMy heart pulsates vigorouslyMy hand you take ever so suprisinglyEyes lit up ever so widelyThe lights keep moving but we keep stillHolding you so gives me a thrillIn these arms you stand hereFeelings without worries nor fearEven as you stand there motionlessI find myself in your benevolenceOver odds, I'm here where you standBaby, I never want this to endMusic blares, you stand next to meMy heart pulsates vigorouslyI kiss your lips ever so surprisinglyA moment ever so divinely

Thinking Of You
Thinking of you When I think of you, There is an ethereal magic. Your there in every breath I take, Every thought I have, Every vision, Every moment. When I think of you, I go to another time and place. There is only you and me, No distractions, No worries of the day. I feel your strong arms around me. The love you have, And how it surrounds me. The way your essences just lingers there. When I think of you, I think of love. The kind that has passion, desire, and trust. You are not the same, As those before. You have more style, More class, More taste. When I think of you, I pray to god above. I thank him for his beautiful gift. The angel that is you, And for your love. When I think of you, I feel calm and serene. Life seems a whole lot better, Now that you are here. Dee Parenti All rights reserved

How?
My heart goes out to him more than he knows but I don't know how to tell him. All I want is to let him know how I really feel but can never seem to find the words when I have the chance to talk to him. For some reason the words never come to me. I want to tell him how he's the only one I want and how I want for us to be all that everyone thinks we are and then some. I think him and I could be something very amazing but at the same time I'm so scared that by saying something I will only push him away. He is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and I really don't want to lose him. He is amazing. Treats me and my lil girl like nobody ever has and doesn't ask for anything in return. He's happy just spending time together...don't have to spend money or anything just to be together. So now all I have to do is figure out how to tell him how I truly feel about him.

Hinder-better Than Me
Better Than Me I think you can do much better than meAfter all the lies that I made you believeGuilt kicks in and I start to seeThe edge of the bedWhere your nightgown used to beI told myself I won't miss youBut I rememberWhat it feels like beside youI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than meWhile looking through your old box of notesI found those pictures I tookThat you were looking forIf there's one memory I don't want to loseThat time at the mallYou and me in the dressing roomI told myself I won't miss youBut I rememberWhat it feels like beside youI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than meThe bed I'm lying in is getting colderWish I never would've said it's overAnd I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm olderCause we never really had our closureThis can't be the endI really miss your hair in my fa

Things That I've Learned
’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it. I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we d

About My Best Friend
best freineds are hard to come by these days but i am lucky i found the very best of one she is there for me night and day rain or shine good days or bad days my best friend is there for me. me and her talk about everthing from a to z and everthing in between there is no one like here she is smart and funny caring and sharing she has a big heart bigger then anyones else i know. no matter my problem she is there to help me out. when i am in a down mood i just think of some of the good talks we had and the laughs we shared and then always bring a smile to my face. now when she frist ment me i was a shy person and did't talk much well lots has changed since then sure she wishes i went back to being that way sorry hun not going to happen having to much fun being a pimpdaddy. but you are someone i truly and will always love there is no one else better then you thank you for being my best friend thank you for everthing i could it have ment a better person then you to call my best friend and

Love
So I kinda love this girl. Her name is Cris.She's real damn special to me.She has the prettiest eyes and smile.And I own her boobs. What more could a girl ask for?She sends me the cutest pictures,which are usually the highlight of my day.But yes. I love my Cris.Just thought i'd share that with you. :) Oh! And my MisterFeets is back. Yay!!

Painting The Stars
I am a professional painter in Upstate Ny, I have just finished painting the house of Stephen Lang. He is a Hollywood actor. He has a movie coming out w/ Johnny Depp in July. It's called Public Enemies.He is also in a new movie called Avatar. Look him up. His family just moved to Kinderhook, NY. How cool is that. I also painted the house of Dr. Shaw who operated on Christopher Reeves after his accident.

My King
I WISH YOU WERE CLOSER I NEED YOU TO TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS I CAN FEEL YOU FROM HERE WAVE AFTER WAVE CRASHING INTO ME I CAN TOUCH THEM WITH FINGERTIPS WATCH THE LIL RIPPLES IN ITS WAKE I ACHE TO FEEL YOU CLOSE TELL ME WITH WORDS OF TRUTH DO YOU NOT FEEL ME CAN YOU NOT CLOSE YOUR EYES SEE ME SMILING DOWN AT YOU MY WINGS WERE CLIPPED SO LONG AGO ALL I CAN DO IS APPEAR IN YOUR THOUGHTS WISHING I COULD TAKE FLIGHT ONCE AGAIN SO YOU WOULD WAKE UP NEXT TO ME FAR FROM THE PAINS OF THIS WORLD ID TAKE YOU WITH ME SHOW YOU WHAT IS IN MY HEART OFFERING YOU MY HAND WILL YOU NOT TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME WHY TOSS THEM ALL ON THINGS YOU DO NOT KNOW YOU KNOW ME SO WELL WE WERE ONCE LOVERS IN A PLACE WE HAVE LONG FORGOTTEN YOU WERE

Love. Broken Hearts.
Love. Broken Hearts. -=- Written by Thully -=-It hurts when you treat me this wayThis feeling is not meant to be like thisI trusted you and you tore out my heartWith indecision you have cursed my fateYou say I Love You as if it is the windThe promises you have mentionedAgain and again you said those thingsBut it was just hot air until the endYou know that a person is treating you unfairlyUntil another gentleman comes into playThey hurt you, they mistreat youBut you stay. You're still living... barelyI offer you a means to an end a way outI can tell you many things and many optionsYou and I are both are very excitedThen you change your mind, a different routeWe have stayed up for weeks on end talkingWe would cover all of our boundariesCover all the topics from music to gamesWe would do this together while walkingWe never spared a single story or a detailTogether we would conquer all we knewThe things we shared in and experiencedWere proof together we could never derailNow you have chose

Help! Sos
Ok I got here about 10 minutes ago and omg I am so confused. I have no idea what this site is or how to manuver around it. I consider myself a quick learner but this time I am frazzled. I feel like im drunk for real cause I don't know how to i m anyone or send an email or whatever the hell you do here. Is there anyone that can literally school me on this? Cause if not I'm outtie.

Finding That One Person That Completes You
As a child you learn of a soul mate…a person made perfectly for you, your two souls become connected as one and are destined to be together until the end of time.Through adolescence you grasp on to this idea of a soul mate, believing you will someday find the one.But after much heartache and many rivers of tears, this notion you’ve held onto for years begins to fade.As time goes by, day by day, year after year, you move forward, accepting of your failures and proud of your successes…until that day.This is a day like any other, it begins no differently than yesterday and the days before, but it is a day that will change you forever, a day that the magic and fantasy of a soul mate becomes real.For each of us it happens differently…the holding of eye contact, an introduction, a smile. Regardless of how it began, the moment is unforgettable. It was a magical moment, frozen in time, the surroundings, the smells, the feeling you felt. The rush of warmth through your body

Endings
Everything has a beginning. Everything has an end. Well, almost everything. Some endings never end. Some endings are instantaneous. It’s just over. Done. Finished. You know it; you accept it; you grieve or you don’t, depending; you move on. Sometimes, you aren’t that fortunate. There are sudden deaths; and there are slow, agonizing declines that are excruciating to everyone. There are sudden departures; and there are slow, agonizing exits. There are harsh words, angry shouts; and slamming doors; and there are frosty silences that drag on and on as you wait for the other shoe to drop. But however it arrives, when the end comes, it is just that. The end. But sometimes, when an end comes, the heart won’t let go. It doesn’t matter how many times the brain says stop feeling what you feel, stop wanting what you want, stop hoping for what will never be. The heart keeps feeling, wanting, and hoping. Hoping. Hope can be the cruelest force on Earth. The Proverbs say that hope defe

You Probably Don't Wanna Read This.....
So... Here I am... Wondering why I try to please the people that I do... And not focus more on the people who deserve my attention, devotion, friendship, love, understanding, and just plain caring ways... I work my ass off to make the people in my everyday life happy... and what does it get me? Heartache, Confusion, Less Friends then I would like to have, and just plain emptiness... I don't know what to do about anything anymore... (NONE OF THIS IS MENT TOWARDS THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH)... Just seems like I can't make anyone happy... I have lost 3 very near and very dear friends to me... 1 Because I refused to give him a number ... another one cause he is the boyfriend to the first one... And 3 cause I am just not there for her like I should have been... But you know what? With all the shyt I am dealin with in my real life... I can't be there for everyone... I have my mom coming at me from one side... the law from another... court from another and my kids .. I am fuking surrounded..

The Right To Dawn.
Another handroll on the back porch.Tall grass that looks and scratches suspiciously like wheat crawls up my bare ankle, as a pup once named damn it strolls the lawn bounding and pouncing on imagined terrors, and rolling with her eyes in the back of her head and her tongue flopped out one side like something possessed I listen to the chirp of dawn birds, the crackle of the sedimented cartlidge in my hands and arm.As I rub that dullness akin to petrification I follow another line, a new sinew trapsing off into a faded lightning bolttributaries of puffed pink flesh firm and numbwhat a peculiar weave of scars my body has become. Like a roadmap of car crashes, tumbles, brawls and falls.Strange that such a cautious and devout pacifist can trace so many streams and trickles of a desperately violent past.I'm suddenly very tired... and very aware of how deliberately timid I have become.Perhaps too soon, perhaps for the right reasons.Its like... putting a muzzle on a flamethrower.Its still a w

Would You Join A Contest?bling Pack /vip
I am thinking about hosting a contest, It will be a rate and comment contest drama free elimination conetest plz let me know if you are interested. thinking about prizes of a 35 credit bling pack and or a vip

Rain Breaking Benjamin
Take a photograph, It'll be the last, Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here, I don't have a past I just have a chance, Not a family or honest plea remains to say, Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. Is it you I want, Or just the notion Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around Safe to say from here, You're getting closer now, We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. To lie here under you, Is all that I could ever do, To lie here under you is all, To lie here under you is all that i could ever do, To lie here under you is all, Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun, All the world is waiting for the sun, All the world is waitin

Considering I Am Old Yeah:)
What do you consider some perks of being your gender?-- ability to connect emotionally to others; and the way we have a "monthly" excuse to go psycho. hahaha!(agree w/ ash one this one) Would you ever get a tattoo with someone's name on it?--why hell NO!!! that shit's permanent. What occupation do you find sexy?--my job lol because most chicks don't do the construction thing and when they do only thing they get to be is flaggers lol plus I'm around a bunch of pervs all day lol Would you ever get your nipples pierced?--hell no i barely touch then and i'm turned one lol already NO! What is your LEAST favorite type of alcohol?--tequila Did you ever have tea parties when you were younger?--I don't think so actually as a kid I was a tomboy and did the whole melting the army men in the heater to kill them type of deal lol Have you ever shaved someone before?--of course i have. Do you know anyone personally who is terminally ill?--not personally now but before in the past yes What is

June 9th Update
Well, the hott and cold flashes have offically stopped and the fevers have finally broke again they found out that I had a bladder infection that they have been treating with meds... I have been doin my nightly dressing change without the iv meds and just the oral ones so that is a huge step even though instead of doin the 4 cc's they were doin by iv they are now doin 6 cc's orally but its still a huge step that i can do that part with just orals now.. The only thing I can not do yet without the iv meds is the morning dressing change when they do the pulsivac which is cleaning it out so I get the 6 cc's of meds by oral and then I get 2 cc's by push iv right before the dressing change.. I have also cut back on the pain meds a lot.. yesterday I only took 2 between the dressing changes and the day before i took 1 and before that i took none.. but it all depends on how much activitive I do during the day and if I get up in my wheelchair during the day or not because if I do i'm not use to

The Real Fashion Thrills
How do you define fashion thrill? I was promenading the busy Hong Kong shopping district. I dropped by a retail store to look for a good stuff of clothes intended for my husband back in my Home at Los Angeles. I stroll along and my feet lead me to a wholesale clothing shop in the famous Tsim Sha Tsui district. The store where I am standing that time was the similar store I have seen crowded with people.

Last Chance!!!
If you are interested in checking out my adult site, it is your last chance!!Today and Tomorrow (6/9 & 6/10)1 month membership!!!Over 4200 pics!!22 vids!!access to bbw-heaven.net and madskillz vids content!!I will no longer be accepting memberships after tomorrow bc i am building a new home and will have my site down temporarily after july 10th!!! so get your fix now!!!thankyou!!~kaylee kurveswww.kayleekurves.com

Forever Far
You're always in my heart, Always on my mind, No matter how deep the water, You, I always find. My memories are darkening, You're getting more unclear, I've fallen into a tunnel, But I am not to fear. Very soon we'll be as one, Together as we once had been, Filling our memory boxes, For another year of being unseen.

Another One On Friends
Growing pains Broken chains A sad melody Falling tears Listening ears A friend just for me Reaching out Sharing doubt When life gets me down Hands to clutch Gentle touch Can turn me around Spoken words Softly heard Cognitivity Holding tight Loving light Calm serenity

Tuesday....
I was reading today where they say the economy is getting better. Im not sure how they can say that esspecially since it took years to get us in to this mess, I will not cure itself overnight. tonight, I am thinking of watching the movie Taken and kicking back with a chat box of a very sweet certain someone. I oguth to be working on my truck, but a day off from getting mgreasy is in order. Does anyone on here like to play chess? I know most people dont think of chess and drinking, but have you ever tried it? LOL

Fubar
Well.. here I am. I decided to have some fun and become a FUBAR girl. I love the ladies.. but don't mind a stray boy every now and then. Check me out.. and I'll do the same! Ohh.. and if you ever run into me a bar, don't be afraid to ask me to get FUBAR'd with you!!!

Underwear Dust
BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!!!!!! One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.He hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !You guys just never learn, do not piss off the woman. My Aunt sent Me this. She has a warped sense of humor...

7 Degrees Of Blonde
7 degrees of Blonde FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.' SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens h

From Deathpoet
Oh, it's you i seeflitting before my -eyes like a dream in -so hot a black corsett...How could i resist the syren call?my angel in -- I think not -and drag me off to hell or heaven if you wish -no kicking or screaming...and you know it...YOU, could make me cry -YOU, can bring me to my knees -You and your oh so feminine lines...in your corsetts...my legs shake...mouth goes dry...the wordsmythe -broken...the orator -silent...the genius -buffoon!I am your toy,your attendent,slave...You,my goddess in disguise... ************************************************** I love it and so should you ;)

Theme Song For My Life
So i took this quiz on facebook today...... whats the theme song of your life. i got foo fighters, learning to fly. the explaination seems to fit pretty good. The Lost-Soul-Trying-To-Find-My-Way type. You have been on a path, but don't know where you're going, or where you want to go. "And I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright" Only you can find the way to go.. so nows the time to find it in your heart what you want and learn to fly without any assistance! the time is now, i know what i want, i know where i want to fly to, and am working on taking those steps to get there now.

Stillness Of The Light
In the stillness of the light,She gained an insight into her life.Compassionate and caring,Always giving,She realized what her purpose was.To give her love freely,Knowing what her inner being is made of.She is a spark of light from the heavens above,She is loved unconditionally.She is here to make a difference in their lives,As if an angel was picked for them.In the stillness of the light,The holy spirit touches her.Filling her with healing light,So she can love unconditionally.Dee Parenti All Rights Reserved. Today I was rating some photos of my friend. He is a wonderful photographer and I do enjoy his work. I came across this photo and the more I looked at it, the more the thoughts came, so I wrote this poem. I would like to thank SilkeNelDer for allowing me to use the photo with this poem for the post. Go show him made love.

Dimmu Borgir - Sorgens Kammer - Del Ii
Minnenes ekko stiller timen Kneblet i tungsinnets lenker faller jeg ifra Ikke lenger vil jeg være boltet fast i vemodighetens anker Men endelig få lengselens slukket - Etter å dra Drakk jeg for meget av livshåpets krus Tok jeg gledens forfengelighet for gitt For min strid mot tomhetens smerte - Denne dødsangstens rus Er det eneste ene igjen - Som er mitt I min ensomhet vet jeg likevel At jeg ikke har noen andre å takke enn meg selv Derfor er jeg rolig når Repet strammer rundt min nakke Stumme viner kan ei gi trøst Menigmann i gravkorets forsamling vil aldri fatte Det landet av fortapelse Jeg egenhendig skapte Denne intense dragning mot dødens portaler (Har jeg som) En vandrende studie i gråtkvalt messe-noir Behersket siden tidens morgen Men noe jeg aldri lot slippe taket - Var sorgen [English translation:] [Chambers Of Sorrow Part II] The echoes of silence sets the hour. Gagged in the chains of "depression", I fall away. No more I will be bolted fast in the anchor of "melancholy

Prelude
A figure of silver radiance stands in the centre of a large circular chamber. The stars shine down out of the heavens, like shimmering points of infinity…winking in and out of sight. Around the large, open chamber five similar figures of light, in various hues and colors, look on the first. The only sound that can be heard is the soft, gentle sway of a breeze. A figure of pale, sky blue mist stands. A thunderous roar can be heard somewhere off in the distance… "So," a melodious voice rings out, "you've decided then?" The pale blue figure regards the first in question. The silver radiance bows slightly in acknowledgement. "And You know the consequences of your choice?" Again the pale blue figure looks only at the first figure. The silver radiance nods ever so slightly, again. "And You know that once done, what you ask of us can never be undone…?" The silver radiance turns, scanning all in the room; returning to the image of the speaker slowly. Nodding sli

Pro-choice
Im pro choice. Plain and simple. That doesnt mean Im pro abortion or am ok with abortion. Im actually against abortion. I just figure if its going to happen, then the women that choose to do it should have somewhere safe to do it at. If your sister or daughter was hellbent on getting an abortion, and you couldnt change thier minds would you want them to have a safe legal way to do it? Or in some shithole using a coat hanger?

An Elderly Chuckle
A very old couple that have been married forever are sitting on their porch one night. Suddenly, the old woman reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off the porch and into the bushes. He crawls back up and asks, "What was that for?" She says, "For having a little pecker." He sits there quietly a moment, then smacks her, sending her off the other side of the porch and into the bushes. She crawls back and says, "What was that for?" He says, "For knowing there was more than one size."

Think Think
This will definitely demonstrate whether you have the right skills for your job (or for anything else). Scroll down ............ 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.2 How do you put an elephant into

~~ Childhood Lessons ~~
The best place to be when You're sad is with your dog. Puppies still haveBad breathEven after eatingA Tic-Tac. When your mom is mad at your dad, Don't let her brush your hair. No matter how hard You try, you can't Baptize cats. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Reading what people writeOn desksCan get you through the test. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk. School lunches stick to the wall.

Random Thoughts
Now for some randomness. I love big breasts that are not full of additives. I love women with hips and ass as well. I dont even mind a little tummy on them. I love speed/thrash/death/grind music. Fuck all that radio/mtv shit. Its worthless and just geared to make money. I mean come on, Britney cant sing a fuckin note. Its all digital, and when she performs live, she fuckin lip synchs. I hate all religions. Seriously, every fucking one of them. If it works for you, thats cool, keep it away from me. I actually talk to people on my friends and family list, even if i doubt they will respond. Im a lot better at it if you pm or sb me first

Drifting
What a wonderful hesitation Who would bear to feel sorry for me Dropped another pill just to calm me Collapsed to my knees and fell fast into sleep There I was drifting Way out into the sunshine Expecting to crash but I'm tied to a string Look at me I'm a tangled puppet I might be a mess but I sure can survive Find myself awake counting sad days 1-2-3 that's too many for me Dropped another pill just to find me Reached for my hand But It was already there Then I started believin' That I fell out of a tiny raindrop That lost its way when it decided to roam Chasing me was a hungry dweller But I had escaped it by pretending to die Come follow me you won't expect the illusion You'll see, it's my imagination Hand me your eyes I will put them in front of mine You'll see a little better You'll see a little better What a wonderful destination Where I am now I can no longer see Dropped another pill just to kill me Collapsed to my knees And fell fast into sleep There I was drifting Way out into t

Where To Retire
You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where..... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

Death's On My Doorstep
Death and I are at war once more. This time my mother. I have already battled him and lost my father, grandfather and mother, to him. It is a price I pay for having yanked so many out of his grasp when I was a cardiovascular tech at a local hospital here in Tulsa. Now I am on death watch tonight. She is slipping away slowly, I hope that I can face death once more, before it is my turn, and spit in his eye.

Time.........
Time can play a trick on you. Seems like it was, just yesterday I turned 18, now I am staring at 38!! Damn where did the time go? All mah babies are growing up, with the oldest being 19(RIP). When I think about my kids, I feel old. Not sure when it happened, but I grew up at sometime.

Breaking Point
I have come to a breaking point in the last few days. It seems like the subject of making friends to dating to relationships. Everyone judges you on if you have a job, your looks, where you live. Well, what the hell happened to accepting someone for who they are and not the material things.

Updated Simplified Nsfw Access
My Naughty Pix Folder Includes Orginal Pix of Me and Pix of Me Doing Naughty Things with My Hubby. No false pix of naked women etc. Im gping to simplify this for everyone that wants access. It is real simple .. $10 Bling pack gets you in for a week $20 Bling pack gets you 3 weeks $50 Bling pack gets you 6 weeks$100 Bling pack gets you 6 months An auto 11 or cherry bomb also gets you a monthVIP renewal will get you access for the duration of the VIP1 month vip = 1 month access3 month vip = 3 months accessand so on a 3 day blast gets you in for a weeka 7 day blast gets you 3 weeksa 30 day blast gets you 6 weeksA happy hour gets you in for 6 monthsNew Pix Added Weekly And Include The Following: Topless Pix Lingerie~ I love Fredrick Of Hollywood Body Shots Blow Job And Much More I am posting Instructions For Each Level of Access and What It takes following this orginal Blog Entry. Thanks For Looking Kisses Eve

Serusily
I went to a friends store and got out of my car to go into the store. Upon getting out of the car a guy whistled at me. SERUSILY Do you really think we are going to stop what we are doing just to come over to get your number? I now I have a great ass and you whistling at me does not change this. I all ready know this. So why don't you come over and tell me you think I'm hot that I have a nice ass and ask me for you number. What's the worst that could I tell you NO. Well I guarantee that you whistling from the side lines that you will never get my number.

Wednesday
Well it;s finally hump day. I know , i know, but not the hump that 9 out of 10 men think i meant. The week is half over and friday is just a short 16 business hours away. LOL I was thinking last ngiht, just how much people take their own self reliance for granted. I never used to do much in the way of mechanixcal stuff to my car as i always was under the assumption that i would mess it up and in the end cost more to fix my screw up than the original repair. However i have found a certain satisfaction in doing my wn repairs now. You can work at your own pace. If i want to stop and have a beer brake or smoke a bit on my cigar, i have no one complaining at me. Oh well until tomorrow. I hope every one has a great day. Work smart, play hard and of course.. NEVER EVER fry bacon naked.

Update On The Update
UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: After reading what I just wrote, I have made a choice. It is time for Paul to go. I have already packed all his shit and put it by the door. I called WillBurr and asked if he would mind me creating major chaos in his friendship. He pretty much feels the whole thing is a wipe now, so he gave his consent. Inside I think is very glad at this moment to be in a Ds relationship with a Domme who is not the least bit scared to take control of a situation. So here is my plan. He comes home and sees the stuff. I say, “Sit down so we can talk.” Then I go on to explain what I really don’t like about him and what makes him a worthless waste of oxygen. It’ll be a verbal equivalent of THE LETTER. That is if he doesn’t just take a look at his shit and start hauling it downstairs. I haven’t felt this good about tossing someone out since I got to toss my exBF out of my rent house on his birthday!! Truly wicked, M

Pissed
I am so glad my former, fucked in the head boss, can't pay me. Of all the people that worked for him, I am the one hurting the most. I have no one to lean on in my time of need. Because he can do nothing but tell lies,"Oh I mailed your check on saturday" HMMM its wednesday and my mail just ran, and guess what no check. So now I owe my bank 70 dollars cause of a charge that I could do nothing about. On top of that I can't get to the next town over to sign up for unemployment, so I can't get any of that, cause my van diecied to break down. Which I have decided to sell, it can be fixed but I dont have the money. I own my bank 70, and friend of mine 60, for towing my van home, I have a 102 dollar electric bill due(and no I cant make payments on it this is the payment plan), also I have a 250 dollar water bill overdue which I should be getting the shut off notice tomorrow, and no I can't make a payment arranement, cause my town requies at least half of the money up front. I am selling stuff

Help My Friend Helena Level Up!! :-)
Please take a moment and visit my wonderful friend Helena! Here is her profile: http://www.fubar.com/user/3112952 We both began our Fubar adventures around the same time.. and have been meeting so many great people and having such a fantastic time together! Helena has been such an encouragement to me and always has something beautiful to leave on my profile.. I know her time is very precious yet she does such precious things with it! She deserves much more than I can give... So I am asking upon my friends ~ and strangers we have not yet met ~ to take just a little time and say Hi!! Brighten our days and help us up a couple levels in the process? We would love that so much! Such a dear and beautiful friend!! Won't you please stop and http://www.fubar.com/user/3112952 visit her profile ~ look at the wonderful pictures in her galleries? I know she would appreciate a profile comment! She truly deserves a little bling or for certain a VIP! Thank you so much Helena for being such a w

Standing Up Against Woman Beaters
in my own city. with these "band members" and supporters makes me sick. finding out that this certain band who is highly praised is responsible for beating a woman in a locked bathroom with 5 guys on 1 girl!! this might go unmentioned with the hipsters and non-wave makers. the hippies and the fakes who have "morals" are liars! they know about this event happening yet only one guy did anything so far because he was the one who had to break the door down to find out. then being the REAL skinhead he is...beat all 5 guys til they ran. now that the rejects and no-shows aka me and my friends know... this will not go away. until these shyt headed no life wanna be men get what they deserve whenever they are seen or heard of. no lethal actions. no physical injury to be done upon them. but with my already city wide notorious "crazy JERM" self...it will heard by anyone who supports this band, any venue who books this band, anyone who listens to this band! along with my good friends

Blue October-the End
Here alone, standing barefoot in our lawn, Worms squeezing their way through my toes Tonight that's how it goes. I'm at your window kneeling quiet, I thought at least I'd maybe try to get your head right Your heart right "Let him go!" Then through the glass I see your dress fall to the floor As he embraces every inch of you The woman I adore. I can't believe the way you're bending Can't believe this neverending moaning asking him for more Begging him for more How far will I go To make it feel right? "Come home" I have to fix this on my own Replace my heart, Cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end Replace my heart, I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hoping... end I creeped in close enough to see the way he touched her, From her feet across her knees, inside her sweetest spot He pleased and pleased her. I turned around and tried to take control, but no control was capable It was a centerfold of how less than low can possibly go. I squeezed the life into my brain

Afterlife-avenged Sevenfold
Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen So unsure but it seems, cause weve been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be Arrived too early And when I think of all the places I just don't belong I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear Escape from this afterlife Cause this time I'm right to move on and on Far away from here A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain Can leave this place but refrain, cause we've been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall) No pain or sign of time (Im much too young to fall) So out of place don't wanna stay,

Depression
One of the reasons I have fizzled out is that I'm battling some pretty bad depression, due to a variety of personal things. I could come on here, and be bitter in the Mumm's, and give rates that mean absolutely nothing because you can only get real points by spending money, but I don't see the point in pretending to be social, when all I really want to do is crawl in a hole and die. I won't be seeing a Dr, It won't get batter any time soon, so don't expect anything earthshattering from me in the near future. Thank you for those who stop by, it is a ray of light in an otherwise dreary existance. 13

R.i.p Mom
Mommy. I love you and i miss you so much. you was my world my soul my everything.Mommy u was there for me at the good times and the bad. I think to myself i have many more things in life to go thru and i wish u could see. i wish u was here for me when i make my dreams come true. but really the truth is u r there. ur there everystep i take every breath i make and every tear i shed cuz mommy ur apart of me. u always have been but now ur always going to b with me cuz ima never let u go. u will b n my heart and my soul and my mind. u will b my ANGEL that will watch over me.mommy i miss u so much words cant even express the way i feel and the way i miss u. i love u with all my heart theres nothing i can say to make things better for us. the family really misses you. so much theres only one thing ima say( UR N A BETTER PLACE YOUR PAIN IS GONE AND UR WALKING WITH THE LORD AND THE ANGELS I JUST KNO UR SMILING DOWN ON US SAYIN DONT WORRY BOUT ME.) im not going to lie it helps some but there w

Those Who Came Before
Turning to Ancestors for Guidance Many entities assume the role of spirit guide. Throughout our lives, we may call upon angels, animal and nature spirits, ascended masters, and celestial guardians for aid, protection, and support. Our ancestors represent another wellspring from which we may draw wisdom in times of need for they, too, can act as our spirit guides. Since our forbears spent at least one lifetime experiencing the tribulations that are a part of human existence, the perspective they can offer is a uniquely grounded one. Ancestral spirit guides can empathize with our fears and our frailties, worry, temptation, and feelings of insecurity. Once you have requested their guidance, they will see to it that you emerge unscathed on the far side of conflicts and are well-equipped to fulfill your potential. If your relationship with your relatives was strained when they were earthbound or you feel disconnected from your heritage, the thought of asking your ancestors for aid can

..and We Rose From The Seas...
Aye.Was a different age back then too. More primal.Shadowy, sure. But more real, too Not gonna lie, we did some baaad mojo back then. Ever wonder why octopi trigger such intense fear and loathing? Or why the name Ry'leh still resonates even after all these "stranger aeons"? And how did a hack from Providence know so bloody much? There is much unseen.Much that should NEVER be seen. Stuff not meant to be seen under a yellow sun, Not meant to be heard by a sane mind. These too, are in the empty spaces. But aye. We ruled then, in that long ago age. Long before your ancestors descended from trees, We rose from the very Sea itself. Bearing madness and death like gibbering, ruined Santa Clauses. Wielding Magicks to wrack asunder the skies themselves. Dreaming reality into life.Or breaking it on a whim. And you remember, even if you don't know what, or even WHY. Oh yes.You remember.We do too.Those AREN'T rats in the walls. And you knew that all along. But ya

Amazing-blue October
How am I supposed to breathe? I try to relax. I touch your still frame So I can watch you closer And study the ways I believe I belong to you, to you So I scratch at your waist line... your doll hair I dig up the thought of how your eyes glow So I make you my religion, my collision, my escape goat So have I found your secret weak spot, baby? [Chorus] Can you pretend I'm amazing? I can pretend I'm amazing... Instead of what we both know Instead of what we both know I cut to the punch line baby Can we pretend I'm amazing Instead of what we both know Now our history is for sale And for that I apologize You see you're my only know how The study of when I believed I belonged to you, to you You see I've made you into something more delicious, My sweet ghost So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?

Let It Go-blue October
Where do you go When the day is long And where does your heart beat And who is wrong Why do I feel this way Why do I kneel How could I let it go Why do I feel Why do I feel Why Follow me home Through the, the maze and on I'll show you the road That I led you the wrong way on Why did I go that way Why do I steel How could I let her go Why do I feel Oh why did I go that way Why do I still How could I let her go Why do I feel Why do I feel Why Why Why did I go that way Why do I need How could I let her go Why do I feel Oh why did I go that way How could I still Oh how could I How could I How could I How could I How could I

What Was I Thinking
It never fails. Its all the same. I'm tired of the games u play. Well count me out. Yeah it makes me heartless. Yeah it makes me cold.. You react upon reactions. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to be this way. I don't know what i was was thinking but today it really did change. I will always be there. I will always have ur back.. But nothing more than that.. I won't come to u with anything. I won't do this. I can't.. I'm sorry.. I fucked things up.. Go figure its just like me... What the fuck should i even care. Im waisting to much time in such a hollow place... what was i thinking.. who were u to play back on it.. U had a part in it.. but no it's selfish of me To even blame u at all.. Cuz I knew better...

Waiting ...
i close my eyes and lay down to the sweetness of slumber ... i cant sleep for thoughts of you slipping into my eyes behind the closed lids ....i see ur smile and ur face dances be4 me .....i dream of ur hands on my hips and my body is awake in an instant .... i hear u whisper into my heart .... i touch where ur mouth has been and soon im alive with the feel of ur lips ... mouth parting and small sounds of pleasure escape into the dark room ... all alone but so close to u in my soul .... i touch my most private places and as the tips of mounds harden and a distict wetness over comes me .... the want of u ... the need of ur hardness against my unique curves ... i feel the ache as i climb higher .. swirling excitement as i moan out ur name in the heat of passion ..... i sucumb to the sensations and remember how it felt to feel u drive into me .... how u pulled my hair and i looked up at u .. look at u from over my shoulder .... begged for more ... never wanting that moment to end ....the

For My Princess
> Dear World, > > I bequeth to you today one little girl...in a crispy dress... > with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day > long... and a flash of light blonde hair that bounces in the > sunlight when she runs. I will trust you will treat her well...> > Shes slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning...and > skipping off down the street to her first day of school....and > never again will she be completely mine....prim and proud she will > wave her young and newly independant hand to say "good bye"....and > walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.> Now she will learn to stand in line ....and wait by the alphabet > for her name to be called. She will learn to tune her ears to the > sound of school bells ...and deadlines... and shell learn to > giggle ... and gossip... and look at the ceiling in a > disinterested way when the little boy across the room sticks out > his tongue at her....and shell learn to be jealous. And shell > learn how it

Friend On Fubar
I just wanted to let everyone know in the fubar community about a member that was so sweet and caring while I was in the hospital. Her name is adreamer0111 and while I was in the hospital she called to see how I was doing and kept calling till i left. To me that is truly a friend and it also shows me that she is a wonderful person as well. adreamer0111 I will forget it and you have a very special place in my heart. Thanxxxx Brad.

Pain
Nobody sees deep down Down Inside were the pain is The pain that has caused so much hurt The pain that has caused so much grief The pain for those lost in the months past The pain that everyone thinks is over The pain that stays day after day They ask are you ok?

Do You Dare?
Do you dare? Dare to dream Dream of a place A place so great Great enough to heal Heal a heart A heart that has been broken Broken by you You hurt it so deep Deeper then a dream A dream that dared Dared to dream

Gilda Radner
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Gilda Radner Born Gilda Susan Radner June 28, 1946(1946-06-28) Detroit, Michigan, United States Died May 20, 1989 (aged 42) Los Angeles, California, United States Years active 1973 – 1986 Spouse(s) G.E. Smith (1980-1982) (divorced) Gene Wilder (1984-1989) (her death) Gilda Susan Radner (June 28, 1946 – May 20, 1989) was an American comedienne and actress, best known for her five years as part of the original cast of the NBC comedy series Saturday Night Live, for which she won an Emmy Award. Radner's death at 42 of ovarian cancer helped increase public awareness of the disease and the need for earlier detection and treatment.

Story/joke
A woman stops to fuel at a local filling station while filling her automobile She couldn’t help but take notice to a gentleman filling some gas cans after Fueling his pickup one large one medium then he commenced to fill one rather small 1 ½ x 2” fuel can. Puzzled the woman was compelled to ask the complex question sir she said if you wouldn’t mind may I inquire what was the 1 ½ x 2” can for? The gentleman replied sure what do you want to know now even more confused the woman reasked why did you put fuel in the little can? The gentleman said miss it is for my ring! The ring she questioned the gentleman replied yes my ring! Tired of the gentleman’ vague responses she turned to leave and heard the sound of a rather small engine. The gentleman’s ring was vibrating causing his hand to jerk uncontrollably in a reciprocating motion the more he turned the jewel one way his hand went faster the other way it went slower. So the woman walked back

Blessing Above
Alone along lives way searching for someone that will make my heart complacent someone to share in everything I would do and share her life with me for the rest of my days, rest of my nights and all that lays between someone to grow old with. Needing to find a companion who is needing love and tenderness when we find one another a love that would make us whole and I knew then if all the days of our lives were filled with wishes and dreams that came true. Our hopes and dreams nurtured with love would enhance our blessings too the way I used to be has change because of the way you were before we became as one. It had made two lonely hearts stronger in their love and showed what we have is a blessing from above. Christopher Kortz 01-05-08

Abk
so i think i finally found that special guy ive been searching for so long. i love how he makes me smile and laugh i love how sweet he is to me... yeah ive done some fucked up things to him but hes still givin me a chance :D im deffinately not fckin this one up hes a keeper.. i can honestly say i love hi with all my heart.. and i whouldent hae it anyother way.. net time i get a chance im gunna go c him and it will be great im looking so farward to it. i dont thin ive ever felt so happy with a man in my life.. grr everytime i talk to him i feel so loved :D i love you abk

"truly Blessed Friendship"
When you are hurting inside and open your most vulnerable side where your deepest feeling hide I will stay with you and listen. when you are alone and sad I want to be there for you as you are there for me and keep our secrets safe from harms way. When you want somebody to keep good company on a trip so you won't have to go it alone I want to be the one that will comfort you whenever you need me to. Knowing you would be there for me too. When life's journey takes wrong turns and we stray from the path. I want to be there with you finding the right track that will take us back to where we need to be knowing that you are there with me. When you are happy my heart is full of joy and when you are sad my eyes fill with tears because your friendship means and says that you will always be near and that mine will always be here when you want or need me you really are my best friend I hope that I am yours together we can open any door. Christopher Kortz Decemb

Sins
This is my attempt at encapsulating the 7 Deadly Sins in a single poem. The woman is in no way, metaphorical of my character. Sins Delicate fingers graze the ample multitude of linens and pelts hung neatly. Shades of indigo, ebony, crimson she paints intricately over the fair features of her pallid skin. Her gaze constant, confident as the reflection before her returns with carnal glances, Emerald orbs scanning every inch of her exquisite form. She walks the streets, nose held high as it very well should be, For none merely grazes the height of her beauty…and she knows it. Snickers and white noise of back talk sling from every direction The seemingly dull piercing of blunt edged daggers from women who long to be her. To her, their words are simple child’s play. Eyes of men devour her with every effortless step she leaves. As she continues, not a care crosses her mind That she destroys their every desire with a poised turn of cheek. With a graceful flip of go

Unsettled Tide
Unsettled Tide She sits alone at the edge of a sandy shoreLooking out to the horizonIn the distance, she sees the swell of the oceanAnticipating it’s arrivalShe knows the tide is buildingForce…Fury…RageIncarcerated by this approaching waveWill it hit her hard…knock her over?Will the contained ferocity subside as it approaches shore?She wonder what affect this advancing torrent will have on her. It has had its way with her too many times. Brought her to her knees… Rendering her oblivious to the world around her. Her soul, drowned by the sea of emotion, So enraptured by its consumption Of her spirit. This feeling she knows all too well And she prepares for it. It draws nearer and nearer. She braces. The sand but a faulty foundation. Here it comes… Eyes closed, Palms clenched, No breath escapes her lips, And she feels it. The slightest touch of moisture Against her scorched skin. It mocks her; Teasing, Tormenting, Tantalizin

Drawn
Drawn The ticking of the second hand ceases, At just the sound of your voice. The dark clouds halt, in the midst of a night sky. I close my eyes and you appear. Your chiseled cheekbones content. The depth of your eyes intensely gazing into mine. Your lips so soft, gentle, yet passionate, strong. The purity of your tender skin, Against a backdrop of the blaze of your emotion raging fervently. No wind blows; Cricket silence; The relentless beating of my heart, A fixation to illustrate my addiction - the rhythm of obsession. The moon held captive, by a gridiron of midnight glitter. I am entranced, Enthralled in your aura. You consume every part of me - Heart, Mind, Body, Spirit, Soul. As Sun draws Earth into orbit, Holds her close, gravitational pull; I am drawn to you, My Sun, The center of my world. No chains to bind, The simple need to just exist.

Suprise In My Email
Clayton Bruster has endorsed your work as at . Dear Cheryl,I've written this recommendation of your work to share with other LinkedIn users. Details of the Recommendation: "Cheryl does marketing for my photography and art business and as such I find her very professional, creative and dedicated. I would highly recommend to anyone. Clayton Bruster Photographer / Artist" Service Category: MarketingYear first hired: 2009Top Qualities: Great Results, Good Value, Creative

**nsfw Story*** Beyound Phone Sex
I have always loved sex. Phone sex is my most popular form of entertainment. I think it's because of the secretiveness. I like being able to imagine my partner as I hear him and pretend to feel him without ever really knowing who he is. I have a few phone partners. All of them have a vivid imagination and I enjoy the sensual time we spend together. It's my form of masturbation without feeling alone. I usually find someone I like talking to online and in a few weeks we make a decision to take our fantasies to the phone or not. I have only a couple of rules. You must be willing to participate, I'm not going to reach through the phone and stroke it for you. You also must have a feather handy and have an open mind. No bullshit or I'm done. And, we won't be talking again. Without an open mind, neither of us will get off. The feather is because I have long hair and find it sensual to drape it along a man's chest as I make my way down to his groin. There was one guy I had talked with online t

"i Love You"good Bye...
"I Love You"Goodbye... I know that we have had fun Fun with our bodies Fun with our sences I know that one bright early day I gave you my body Gave it for fun I know that I said I Love You You had my body,You had my soul I know that I left you alone Alone with out my body All alone with out my sences But you left me regret,pain and sorrow Though I dreams of your touch and alluring your humble face in my thoughts Remembering those passionate desire we shared But I have nothing to say now than I Love You Goodbye....

"music When Soft Voices Die"
*Music when Soft Voices Die* Music when soft voices die Vibrates in the memory Odours,when sweet violets sicken Live with in the sense they quicken Rose leaves,when the rose is dead Are heaped for the beloved´s bed And so thy thoughts,when though art gone Love itself shall slumber on PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY

Libra Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009 Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) You are ready to enjoy yourself today, but it might not be as simple as you expect. You are willing to play, yet something holds you back from fully participating in the present moment. It's a challenge to balance your desire for pleasure now with your need to establish a deeper and more intimate connection. There's no reason for endless analysis. Just keep bringing your attention back to the current situation and act from your heart, not your head. oh freaking great

A Slaves Prayer
Please let me forever be open, to learn and understand, please let my service be adsolute, to accept his guiding. Please let me have patience, when anrgy,hurt,or full of doubt. and correct me shouldl i shout. Please never let me shame him, or disappoint him in any way, please give me the strength in my submission, let me make him prouder every day. Please know that this prayers sincere,everyword coming from this slaves heart. Please know how much i need to werve him,my devotion always his for the stat. this is something that a friend sent me and i think it applys to most slaves and i for one liked it very much.

Dont Fake Yourself To Trap A Woman
You know i cant believe how guys on here can be nothing but snakes. Just taking away a girls heart and then kicking it to the curb because he seen a tit and some ass of another on here. Why cant they be faithful on here? Why hurt someone and use them like that? How would you like if a women did that to you and made you look like an ass to millions? I believe in KARMA and it will come around twice as hard!! This maybe why some men cant hold a freakin relationship!!

Notice Me
I need to bleed - to feel aliveWhat's wrong with me - am I alrightI feel alone - can no one seeThe winters snow - has frozen meI'm all alone on this frozen streetAll alone can no one notice meOne day I'll get back on my feetWon't be alone this world will notice meWalking down these icy streetsWatch where I'm going on this pavementWhen this crazy day it's snowing and the headphones are soakedBut the music stays flowing and my pockets dead brokeBut the hands staying openI can't take it anymore I'm ready to lose itSo that's why I'm so absorbed in writing this musicFeeling all alone clutch up on the rosariesAskin' a change for good and get these people to notice meI'm all alone on this frozen streetAll alone can no one notice meOne day I'll get back on my feetWon't be alone this world will notice meAll alone, no one homeThink this out all on my ownNeed a zone, overdoseSo why am I depression proneHeart so black, rotten factDon't even know how to actFrozen past, don't know where I'm atBut no

A Little Something
We arent close anymore... hooks ripped from our hearts, only ghosts remain. We can see them... sometimes. Reminding of what was. Causing more pain of loss... why cant we just close our eyes and pretend that life never took this turn? Missing you, missing me... wishing that our longing could just get us through. Staring at smiles in photographs... fuck today, wanting yesterday. Only ghosts remain... hands grasping at the mist of past memories. Hearts still beating... for reasons we dont understand, I thought I couldnt live without you, you thought life with me was all that mattered. Each day still churns... digging up our emotional cores. With Ghosts, pain, regret, and loss at our heels we still walk forward... searching for what feels right. Where is the right that we belong? When will the day come when the ghosts are just our smiles... reflecting understanding.

Nothing
My blog is short. I stay home with my kids and I am married. I am very new at this. It just seems really interresting to talk to so many people all over the place. That's pretty fucken cool. I'll finish my blog after I experience fubar for a while.

Racist
There are African Americans,> > Mexican Americans,> > Asian Americans,> > Arab Americans,> > Native Americans, etc.> > .....And then there are just -> > Americans..> >> >> > You pass me on the street> > and sneer in my direction.> > You Call me 'White boy,'> > 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,'> > 'Whitey,' 'Caveman,'> > .....And that's OK.> >> >> > But when I call you Nigger,> > Kike, Towel head,> > Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,> > Beaner, Gook, or Chink,> > .....You call me a racist.> >> >> > You say that whites commit a lot> > of violence against you,> > so why are the ghettos the most> > dangerous places to live?> >> >> > You have the United Negro College Fund.> > You have Hispanic History Month.> > You have Martin Luther King Day.> > You have Asian History Month.> > You have Black History Month.> > You have Cesar Chavez Day.> > You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.> > You have Yom Hashoah.> > You have Kawanza.> > You have the NAACP.> > And you have BET.> >> >> > If we had WET> > (White Entertainment Televisio

Ice Cold Christmas
Another year comes and goes of being all aloneAnd I don't know how much longer I can hold my ownAnd I don't know if I want to live anymoreAnother Christmas all alone should I load the chromeAnother year comes and goes of being all aloneAnd I don't know how much longer I can hold my ownAnd I don't know if I want to live anymoreAnother Christmas all alone should I load the chromeYet another Christmas all alone am I the only oneAnother Christmas all alone with my unloaded gunSometimes I wished I got the balls to put some bullets in itAnd maybe next Christmas will be a little be better, without me in itI really want to run away, get away from the pain that lingers inside of meAnd I don't know what I'm going to do when the time comes, I have my miseryThey promised me that this would be the best year in a whileSo I sucked it up and cracked a smileFor the sake of everyone else, Christmas bellsThat go deep inside my head it hurts like hellThey can't tell cause I keep it locked tight inside thi

Royal Highness Auction!
ATTENTION ALL ROYAL HIGHNESS STAFF AND MEMBERS!! WE ARE HAVING OUR FIRST AUCTION FEE WILL BE 15K FOR ENTRY!!! HIT UP MANSON WITH A PM FOR YOUR FEE AND YOUR OFFERS!! LETS HAVE FUN!! http://www.fubar.com/bluebangl1

Breakfast
Eyelids flutter, the soft rustle of the wind in the trees outside the bedroom window; she turns to Him, watching as He sleeps. Amazed at the way this man can bring chills to her spine after such a short time. Grateful to be here with Him, her Master; after all those months submitting to Him online; she is finally where she was made to be. Their relationship started as most cyber ones do, flirting in the main room, a few private sessions; neither realizing it would ever come to this until they stood in front of one another at the airport. He had sent for her, she is still in awe; for she had not even a second thought when the airline tickets arrived. She belonged to Him online, heart and soul and soon, body. She was still a bit confused as to why they had not yet had a session, chalking it up to nervousness on both their parts; or maybe it was just not time yet. She’s only been here less than 24 hours after all.Her hazel eyes roam over Him, the soft black sheets tangled within His

Property Part1
She is over my knee, naked save her collar. I am still in my work clothes, shoes, tie and all. I haven't had time to shower yet. My pattern was disrupted when I came home and found my sub breaking the rules.M, my pet, gets off work thirty minutes before I do. We have established that she has plenty of time to come home, shower, start dinner, and be waiting for me, naked but for her collar, on her knees inside the front door. Sometimes I need to be sucked off when I first walk in the door, other times I just pat her on the head and send her into the kitchen. Once in a while I'll have her bathe me, or strip me and give me a tongue bath (only in those instances when I'm feeling particularly demanding and evil).But when I came home she was on the phone with her friend. When I entered she looked at me, her eyes wide. She was sitting on the counter, legs crossed at the ankle. Her legs were smooth and pale white, very nice. Her body was supple and freshly scrubbed her pubic area cleanly shave

Property Part2
I stood in front of the full-length mirror and slipped into my new dress shirt. It didn't look too bad – maybe I wasn't the conventional ladykiller type, but for a certain type of woman I was attractive. The shirt was adorned with dancing red flames and devil's forks, over a black backdrop."What do you think, pet?" I asked M.She was kneeling on the floor next to me, watching me with big, sad eyes.She was, of course, insanely jealous that I was going out tonight. She grumbled a response, and I laughed at her."Look at me," I said to her. She looked up, and I spit in her face. "Don't be a bitch. Tell me what you think."Her lower lip trembled. Sticky clear ooze shined from her thighs. She didn't move to wipe off her face."You look very handsome, sir," she whispered."Thank you," I said with a smile. "Now go fetch my black shoes."As she crawled away I admired the new tail she had, and smacked her ass. The week before I had found a lovely buttplug at the adult superstore, a thick black

Property Part3
"Please can I cum?" she begged, kissing the top of my shoe. She was on her hands and knees, her big ass in the air, whimpering at my feet."You are so adorable when you beg, pig," I chuckled, ruffling her hair with my free hand. I had a cigarette in the other hand, and the ash was getting long. "Open wide."She tilted her head up to look at me, and with a grimace opened her mouth. I tapped my ash off on her tongue. Her eyes got watery."Quit being such a baby. I didn't burn you, did I?"She shook her head. Her hair bounced off her cheeks."Do you want me to have to get up and go get an ashtray?"She shook her head again, eyes still tearing up. Now her red lipstick was smeared with gray ash."So what is your problem, crybaby?"Thank you for using me as your ashtray, Sir.""You don't seem really thankful," I said slowly. "Now what were you saying about cumming?""Well, Sir..." she stuttered. "Last night you told me you would make me cum if I... if I...""If you what, pig?" I sighed, acting ignorant

Kenneth Your In Deep Dodo.
Dear KENNETH, You wait till I get my rock climbing hands around your neck. You told me that you were sad that 360 was closing and that you found a cute place to go. Ok ok being blonde and not wanting the headache of looking at all the kiddy sites "I said" where lol. I would or thought of Myspace, Facebook, Multiply, Tagged, or even Opera, Nooooooooo you picked a bar. You never told me it was a meat market where I would be considered "fresh meat". No shirts, shoes and in some cases pants lol and cowboy hats. Well ya better get your Arse in here and help me navigate, I had a picture viewed as not so good and I put up one up wearing a dress you can see through and its ok sheesh. Could use some big screen TV's to watch football lol. Huggs ya you little Shyt.

Something I Wrote Last November For Remembrance Day
A TIME TO REMEMBER Today we all paused for a moment of silence to remember those that have passed on before us in preserving our freedom that we enjoy today. Novenber 11, 1918 the day the Armitice was signed to end World War 1. What does Remembrance Day mean to me, it means a time to say thanks to the veterans that have died in fighting for the freedom of other people. Have you ever had to stand at a cenotaph at attention for hours on end with no breaks while the cenotaph is being watched over. I have and let me tell you it was an experience that I will always remember, standing there in the cold. But it gave me time to reflect on the price paid for our freedom. And how much their sacrifices means to all of us. And how thankful I am for what they have done. Canadian, British, American, and Russian soldiers all fought in World Wars 1 and 2 to stop the occupation by German and Janpanese troops. It was during World War 1 that Canada fully became a nation when the m

A Good Joke
A Mafia Godfather and his attorney are meeting with an accountant who has embezzled money from the mob. The Godfather demands to know where it is.The attorney interrupts, "Godfather, remember, this man is a deaf mute. But I know sign language." The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."The attorney says "He doesn't know what you are talking about."The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the accountant's head, and says, "Ask him again where the damn money is!"The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK!, the money is hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?"The attorney says "He claims you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

The Knob
The Knob If this doesn't make you laugh, you're dead!!!! A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them..' The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.' She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.'

My Lil Room
She used to run out of school and come to my roomIn school she learns seines lecturers and easy issuesBut in my room she was learning much much moreEvery day in school is a normal single dayBut in my room, it’s a many yearsNow , she isn’t coming any more to this poor roomShe thinks that she learned all lessons and classesBut only smart knows what they missThat with all lessons in school there is homework’s and questionsBut with every lesson in my room there are grammars and benefitsOnly wise human who learns what life teachWhile she .she wasn’t that wiseThat even with all lessons she tokeShe still a kid in this worldStill a baby girlWhile this roomWith its small wallsIs a big worldAnd the lady who will graduate of all classes of my roomI am sure she will be a perfect ladyA lady of my life-------------------------------W.B: FM

Maybe Word
Sadness knocked my doorMy tears opened that doorWho took my lover??!!I lost my love now?!!Maybe it’s my mistake??Maybe it’s just a running lifetime ‘Maybe ‘word, it has a thousand meaning Maybe it’s not my faultMaybe my time has goneMaybe word is a sea of secretsA sea there is no harbors forOn that painful sea shores, her steps Those steps prince like a wounds wide openedAnd my eyes filling them with tearsMy days are lostMy dreams are burnedThe sun, that shining sunIt set long time now, sleep my poor eyesSleep over my wounds, but please don’t tell my secretsThe one was my soul, she hasn’t set yetShe still in my soul.Maybe it’s my faultMaybe my time has gone!!Every time I try to forgetMy heart yell: I can’tI can’t, but who can ,can.A journey was written long time agoAnd it has to be walked We have to travel.Maybe it’s my mistakeMaybe it’s my faultMaybe my time has goneMaybe word has a thousand meaningMaybe word is a

Blah
Blah..my weekend is all over. Back to jail I go and slave away making money for nasty bills and such. I haven't ate much at all today...I feel hungry but not hungry... Since I woke up I had a muffin, coffee, a few small rice cakes and some dried fruits and coffee again. Last night, I cooked up some shrimp fried rice and eggrolls...spent a lot of time cooking it all and I barely ate it. On monday at work, one of my coworkers had asked me if I lost weight...I told her I lost some but nothing too major. She's also trying to lose weight and she has. She's doing better than I am, but at least Im still losing weight slowly...I still haven't gone to the gyms in a while. My appatite has just been so different. Rich brought home subway yesterday and I just picked at it. I'm not starving myself on purpose...I just don't eat as much as I used to I guess...I dunno..just odd... Anyways... Went to the grocery store to do food shopping for the weekend....gotta love how kids just stare at me. Som

Naughty Nightie Auction!
HEY TO ALL MY SEXIES!!! I'M IN A NAUGHTY NIGHTIE AUCTION. IT'S GETTING DOWN TO THE WIRE NOW. BID IS CURRENTLY @ 1 MILLION. COME ON YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!!! I'M NOT WORTH MORE THAN 1 MILL. *SAD FACE*... SEE PIC AND OFFERS BELOW: I WANT TO ADD EXTRA THINGS TO THIS NOW. IF YOU OFFER ME 135 BLING PACK I WILL BUY YOU AN AUTO AND A BOMB PLUS EVERYTHING ABOVE...THAT'S RIGHT AN AUTO AND A BOMB AND I WILL KEEP THE EXTRA CREDITS. FOR AN OFFER OF 350 CREDITS I WILL BUY YOU 3 AUTOS AND 3 BOMBS PLUS THE ABOVE, AND I WILL KEEP THE REST. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO'S GOING TO OWN ME!!! :) HERE IS THE LINK TO THE ACTUAL AUCTION! http://www.fubar.com/photo.php?u=2125463&albumid=1674687&i=1236331320&idx=4 MWAH!!!!!!!!! LOVE ALL MY FU-S!

I Miss You By Jody L Mood
I miss you in the morning, When all the world is new, I know the day can bring no joy, Because it brings not you. I miss the well-loved voice of you, Your tender smile for me, The charm of you, The joy of your unfailing sympathy, Because the world is full of folks; it's true, But there was only one of you. I miss you in the noontide, The crowded city street, Seems like a desert now, I walk in solitude complete. I miss your hands beside my own, The light touch of your hand, The quick gleam in the eye of you, So sure to understand. I miss you in the evening, When daylight fades away, I miss the sheltering arms of you, To rest me for the day, I try to think I see you yet, There in the firelight gleams, Weary at last; I sleep, And I still miss you in my dreams.

Candi, My Babygirl
I love my Babygirl. her name is Candi. She is my world, and I'd give my last breathe if it meant she'd get to keep hers. She means everything to me. I have made quite a few mistakes in the past up through the recent past. I know that no matter how much I appologize, it doesn't change the fact that I messed up. I just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me for my wrongs. I will do everything in my power to not wrong her again. So much has happened in the last few weeks that I was sure everything was going to be ok, we were gonna make it, be back together, and live "happily ever after." My most recent mistake looks like it might have cost me that fairytale ending. I hope she knows just how much I love her, and how sorry I am for doing what I did. I want to make you happy, Babygirl, but if you don't believe that I can, then I hope you are able to find someone that can make you as happy as you deserve to be. No matter what happens, I am here for you, one way or another

Time To Unload...
lol well here i am once again...alone...destroyed. I sit and wonder how i can find whati thought be the best girl ever...and her turn out to be the worst. How sad is it to actually come bragging to someoen you say you love about cheating one them lol. Please aint nuthing but a joke game she played. But is this fer real? I lay down again and fall into a deep sleep. There i am again on the side walk sitting down knees up hood up and my head laying on my knees. I look up at the sky and all aroudn me...no one there. I can see myself sitting there and the blood rolling down my face replacing my tears. Only so much heartbreak and pain one person can go through. the tears have turned to blood. TTheheartbreak happened enough that i fill up with pain and heartache and it spills. I look at the torture and pain. I see the many ways to end all existance and i watch myself go through each one. lol and whats funny people ave no remorse for causing this pain. oh but they do have a nice thingto say ab

My Brother Terry
To all my friends on here wondering what is going on with my brother Terry. Currently he has been in the hospital for a month. He is hooked up to a respirator and numerous tubes and wires. To give you a little on his history with medical problems... Terry has had both his pancreas and kidney replaced with donor organs. This was due to his diabetes destroying his body. After he recovered from that and lost his Dad last year he came down with Lymphoma Cancer. Terry has beaten that also.On May 14th he went to the hospital with a fever he couldn't break. Now mind you the anti-rejection drugs he takes are immune suppressants so that his body will keep the organs. The doctors have been unable to help him, he has pneumonia. Terry is a fighter, but every prayer will help. It is difficult to see him the way he is now, they have him knocked out. Today they have been having problems keeping the feeding tube down him. Tomorrow they are going to do surgery to replace the respirator tube with a trac

Damn It's Been A While...
Wow, it's been YEARS since I last logged on here *blushes* Looking back over my last few posts... I got the job that I previously wrote about, and have been there for two years now :) I quite enjoy it, so that's always good :) The girl from Boston that I previously wrote about is now my fiance. We've been engaged for about 18 months, and have been dating for three years. We plan to get married next year, so I'm looking forward to it :) The plan for the moment is that we'll get married here in Australia and live here for a while, then look at moving somewhere else in the world. Life is good, I'm happy. If you read this, PLEASE comment - keep me coming back!

Ugh
I couldn't get much sleep last night. I think I fell asleep sometime after midnight. Had stuff on my mind. Woke up around 3am, way before my alarm went off. Heard Rich come home and he was making some noise down stairs. I tried to call back asleep, but my mind kept traveling. Ya know how you can sometimes cry yourself to sleep, I think I woke up crying. That's only happened a few times. I thought about some things that could make me smile, but then I think of other things that goes with that thought and just makes me sad again. Heard Tigger in the bathroom scratching at the litter box. I don't know why he can't just cover up his shit. He doesn't even touch the damn litter but he's gotta wipe his paws on something...I yelled at him a few times to have him stop..he finally stopped and ran down stairs. Then I smelled his dookie and said "Fuck, now I'm up" Came downstairs and Rich said "Wow you're up early, Did I wake up?" I said..Yeah, sorta, but it's okay. I've had stuff on my mind. I'

Dying Moon
My nights are lonesome,Even more are the starsThey blink unto themselvesAnd the dying moon, in my skyI create numerous paintings, withFalling stars and congregations of monstersOn virtues of having a world within the grasp of a mind,In the mind of a poet, like my dreams.I see everything, in the night,While watching the dying moon! Poem by Tammy C.