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Cows Taking Revenge
Good Morning World. I am back north again. Out of the Ya’ll capital of the south. No more grits. No more having to show Florida Voters how to open their ballets. No more Gator dodging. No More hustle and bustle traffic. Oh and I heard also that Florida Brahmas are now taking up issue with tourists. Oh yeah! I am not sure how it happened however word or Moo has spread all the way from Colorado. It's supposed to be the Other Way Around: On the South Boulder (Colo.) Creek Trail in January, as a woman was standing beside her bicycle, a cow wandered by and tipped her over (and then stepped on her legs before meandering off). So beware. You may be in danger if you get to close to those Florida cows. Sort of like Mad Cow Revenge. I also dug up this little ditty off the net as well. Way over in Athens, not Georgia but in Athens, Greece in December students rioting (triggered by a police officer's shooting of an unarmed 15-year-old boy), was so intensive that the police department quickly r
Garbage Truck
THE GARBAGE TRUCK One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and s
The Turtle Haikus
"The Turtle Haikus" 1 The turtle slowly walks towards the pond, in step with it's beating heart 2 The turtle shell does not keep the world out, but keeps A big love within 3 Shells, lined with rings like trees, tell the gallant story of each brave turtle 4 Green and tough, the shell conceals a heart softer than the sunlight's first rays
March 2009!!!
Oh the shenanigans that will be had. EEEEEEEEEE! -REL
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" She frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" "Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."
Suck A Cheetahs Dick
The Bull Is My Hero
the fuckin' bulls are as awesome as the side of the sun and although they kill them for our stale pleasure it's THAT FUCKIN' BULL that burns the fire and yeah...there are cowardly bulls as there are cowardly matadors and scared men but generally...that bull stands pure...dies pure he remains untouched by symbols, or cliques, or false loves and when they drag him out nothin' has died somethin' has passed and the eventual stench the world.
No Respite
8/25/07 I wear your love like a shroud I thought I was content to spend an eternity with you Come to find out you had not yet died I lay in the grave of my own making My heart and soul linger like wisps The Mausoleum which I thought we shared Offers no comfort or respite from the sun Life moves about me as I rot away Can I rise up from this pallor? Try as I might to toss aside this cover It holds me like a stone Carved with words not yet spoken And promises that were naught but lip service
A Rictameter About Haikus
subject: A Rictameter about Haikus post date: 2007-09-28 09:22:31 views: 20 comments: 0 ratings: 0 (Please see my previous blogs for explanations on Haiku and Rictameter poetry) Haiku A formula To show man the beauty That exists in nature's womb A path to self-control, learning how to Explain the brilliance of God's work In all it's glory with Seventeen Beats Haiku
Best Traffic Accident Ever
Yesterday I was coming back from work and I was stuck in traffic because there was some construction and nobody in Dallas can figure out how to merge. I was in the right lane and because of that the left lane was moving slowly while I was at a dead stop. I have always enjoyed looking into peoples windows as I pass them or they pass me. You can see some pretty entertaining stuff in that brief moment. It's like walking past the monkey enclosure at the zoo only usually more bizarre. There is a set of behaviors one would expect when walking past a monkey, humans however, there is no end to the possibilities. I have seen people brushing their teeth while driving, shaving, masturbating, you name it and I've probably seen it. So I'm sitting there in heavy traffic on the northeast side of downtown Dallas watching as the string of cars files past me and along comes a beige Chrysler minivan. The van had one occupant an older man, He was idling forward in the slow moving traffic, gla
Wonderful Tonight
It's late in the evening She's wonderin' what clothes to wear She puts on her make-up And brushes her long blond hair And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?" And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight We go to a party And everyone turns to see This beautiful lady walkin around with me And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?" And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you It's time to go home now And I've got an achin' head So I give her the car keys And she helps me to bed And then I tell her As I turn out the light I say my darlin', you are wonderful tonight Oh, my darlin, you are wonderful tonight
Robert Orben
To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
"Run" Run and hide again I want to wait this time Don't wonder why you can't clear this final sin You know this story was over before it began This is a battle you're not going to win Welcome the end I've spent a lifetime planning out your destruction You're never gonna witness another day A lonely lifetime planning out your destruction, with no other function You really don't know how long I've waited for your destruction I'm telling you, you just can't get away A whole lifetime planning out your destruction, with no other function You really don't know You better run! Ask me why again, nowhere to go this time Revenge will be mine again Say good bye, my friend Don't run away this time and die like a man There is no escape from my plan Welcome the end I've spent a lifetime planning out your destruction You're never going to witness another day A lonely lifetime planning out your destruction, with no other function You really don't know how long I've
Jan-12-09 Hxc
hXc Abbreviation of hardcore, often related to music from the hardcore genre. Also used to describe actions or styles. This bandana will make me look hXc.
*i Love You* (simple Prose)
Beware these words For, if the emotion is genuine when spoken and that feeling is returned, You will be blessed to be bind in joy and ecstasy to come Beware this phrase For, if the aim is deception in order to steal one’s virtue and that affection is vapid or empty You will be cursed with the pain from the illicit lust sought and received   Beware this statement For, no matter the desire in your soul or the ambition seething in your flesh, You will be changed no matter the time or season These words are only three, but, they wield power regardless So, take care when used   RWS
Just For You
Just For You…. I would luv to give you a nice hot bubble bath surrounded by candles burning. A glass of white merlot to go with the soft music playing in the back ground for the shadows of candle light to dance to as I sit behind you gently kissing your beautiful neck. After we soak, I'll carry you off to my bed of red satin sheets covered with rose petals where I would gently rub your beautiful body down with hot scented oils. Then with a single soft rose I would trace out your sexy body slowly from one end to the other, only to stop in certain places as you sigh with a deep breath begging for more from pleasures of shivers all through out your body. With your heart skipping little beats, as I continued on until the sun would shine tomorrow. Rubbing you softly asleep until the moon rises with the stars for us to slip into another night of dreams to fulfill. With the night winds blowing soft breeze of sounds that whispers I want you with its night air surrounding us.
Be Sure To Show Feisty Some Love On Her Happy Hour
Omg Look Who Has A Happy Hour Oh Yeh The One And Only Feisty This Awesome Women Is Having Happy Hour Today @ 1pm Fubar Time So Show Feisty Some Serious Love Also Feisty Is Running Auto 11S So Lets Spank Her Hard The Way She Likes It Rate ...Fan .. Add ... Bling ... And Also Don't Forget To Crush Her Feisty Is Someone You Should All Have On Your Friends List ... So You All The Drill So Lets Make Her Happy Hour Special For her Please Click On The Picture Link Below To Go To Feisty's Page ▂▃━☆FEISTY━▃▂☆®™FornicatesWifey/DangerousCurvesMembe@ fubar This Bulletin Was Bought To By ===Steve=== ENFORCER@DDR(SHADOW LEVELER)@ fubar Thanks To Everyone In Adavnce Who Makes Her Happy Hour Special
So I kind of forgot about this story because I try my hardest to tune out stupidity, but I thought a few people might enjoy this. I'm sure everybody is aware of Bill Engvall and his "Here's Your Sign" skit. So, Saturday night I was on my way to my sisters apartment to hang out and have some drinks. I was picking up some Jager and redbull for our Jagerbombs, and I proceeded to go to the self check out. I bought a couple other things too, and the way they bag shit at Walmart drives me crazy unless I do it myself. I'm not a fan of 2305732087532087523 bags because they can only put like two items in a bag. So of course since I had liquior, they have to come do their check thing. She saw my movie I was buying and knew she'd have to put her ID badge to the scanner. Well, right NEXT to the movie is this BIG BOTTLE OF JAGER and the bitch proceeds to ask me if I have any alcohol first (if you have alcohol and a movie you need to be 18 to buy, they only have to scan it once if they do th
Sex With Me
(If you are reading this, you should repost it. I'm curious what others will say! ....At the very least, leave me a comment letting me know you saw it!) ================================================================================================== What is it that you absolutely need sexually? SOMEONE THAT CAN LAY IT DOWN & CAN MEET OR EXCEED MY QUOTA What is something you have always wanted to try? DEEP SEA SEX What is something you have never done in bed before? UHHHH...HRMMM.. What time of day do you like to have sex? ANYTIME~! What do you absolutely need to see to turn you on? IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE... BUT WHAT YOU HEAR.. AND WHAT YOU FEEL How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? KISSING IS AWESOME...I AM A GOOD TEASE I COULD DO IT ALL NIGHT IF IT'S MOUTH KISSES.. BUT OOOO LALA WHEN THOSE KISSES TRAVEL I AM READY TO ATTACK If someone was in the next room while you had sex would it make you nervous or excited?
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Food For Thought
We have got to realize that we're being conditioned on a mass scale. Start challenging this corporate slave state. We have chosen to abstain from speaking for ourselves. As a result; the government no longer fears the people; so the people having chosen not to have a voice, are increasingly used and abused . It's not that someone is out to enslave you. You have already been enslaved. A syndicate of international financiers and national dictators have already taken over the world and consolidated their power over it. Now having taken over they are in the process of looting everyone. Their power over us is complete to the point where they no longer have to be convincing in their deceptions. They impose their government on us, the charade of a democratic system need no longer be convincing -- no one has the intelligence or power or organization or leadership to do anything about it, all of the components making such resistance possible have been carefully dismantled....
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That List
How do you suppose All of this happened I used to be Your number 1 Chick 1st you put me 2nd after trappin' Then I was 5th Or 6th then 7th I couldn't help But to laugh when Your heart Started to lose All of its strength You used to be The only one On my list And now You're wonderin' why You're 10th I tryin to get thru You too confused I've only Ever been the main chick I was finda be A little pissed You can count on All of them Other chicks You can count on me To just quit I don't wanna be On that list, no more Said I'm cool Number 1, Not number 3 on that Number 1 cuz I'm the best thing In your life You got me mixed up you Better rip That list up Me on that list ,No list you Got me no more 1st off all I'm the bomb, look around Is ya dumb And 2nd I'm the one You get Everything from 3rd of all you know Your mom told you That I'm the one What you Running around Looking 4? Must be drunk, Put down the 5th And I can think Of almost 6 times 7 digits almost 8 Up
Picking Up The Pieces
You said you would always be there That no matter what you'd always care You expect me to believe this lie again When you couldn't keep you promise back then Why should I believe what you say now When you've gone again anyhow I thought it would break me and make me cry But the thought of you not being there just makes me sigh Oh well, I guess our friendship didn't mean much to you Not with all the things you tell me and you don't follow through It doesn't matter like perhaps it should. I would have you around more if I could However it doesnt seem that you really care like you claim Telling me this and that, Do you think I am so lame I know you won't stick to your word anymore You did once but that was back before You said you didn't love me the first time, Oh my Look at you with that tear in your eye I'm sorry you don't understand What I have seen first hand Go on, leave me behind by myself, alone in the darkness I have found a way to secure my own happi
Some Favorite Vhs & Dvds In Collection
VHS TAPES AND DVDS HERE RIGHT NOW, NOT IN STORAGE I couldn't carry around everything when I moved, so I put most in storage and took these with me. When I began journaling and writing poetry in a frenzy I reduced my taping considerably. VHS TAPES: Tape 19: 1. Dr. Strangelove 2. Take this Job & Shove it 3. Save the Tiger 4. Funny Girl Tape 20: 5. The Nutty Professor ( Jerry Lewis version ) 6. In like Flint 7. The Eiger Sanction Tape ?? 8. Invasion from Mars 9. The Principal 10. Mr. Destiny Tape 43: 11. Cool Hand Luke 12. Charge of the Light Brigade 13. Life & Times of Judge Roy Bean Tape 23: 14. Thief of Baghdad 15. Legend of Sleepy Hollow 16. Escape to Witch Mountain 17. Adventures of Ichabod Crane (cartoon ) Tape ?? 18. Neverending Story II Tape 48: 19. Gypsy 20. Outlaws 21. Modern Problems Tape 53: 22. Man in the Iron Mask 23. High Plains Drifter 24. Magnum Force Tape 6: 25. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 26. Shakiest Gun
One Tin Soldier--coven
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating In the pain there is healing In your name I find meaning So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on I'm barely holdin' on to you The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating In the pain is the healing In your name I find meaning So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') I'm barely holdin' on to you I'm hangin' on another day Just to see
Destiny Found Ch 2 Pt 19
Slowly she could feel herself again. She also felt lips upon hers. 'Michael' she thought and began returning the kiss. He could feel her lips responding, knowing that she was back, he pulled away. "How does it feel to finally have met your mother?" he asked as her eyes opened. She opened her eyes and smiled. "I enjoyed it. You were right, she is beautiful." Slowly sitting up. "You were happy to see her as well." "Yes, it is the first time I have seen her since she died" he stood up and offered his hand. Taking his offered hand, she allows him to pull her up. "She said I can return anytime I wish and there are other realms as well." Looking towards the door seeing that the day had grown short, the sky darkening. He shrugged. "Well, I don't know much about that" he walked to one of the pillars and leaned on it. The sight of the mountain in the setting light and the more chilling breeze gave him an epic feeling in his heart. "She said, Magic has no boundaries.
I'm as dark as night As light as day. Magic and love are not far away. I'm the queen of hearts and the owner of hell, Learn to love,care and hate, Learn to give share and take May you trust and be trusted
Mindfuck, Yay You'll Shit Brix. Shup If You Know It!
Gettendeep@ fubar
We're walking and talking Slipping to the end Sinning and forgiving Imagine it's all pretend We're yearning and burning Ignoring our hearts As the world keeps turning And we're torn slowly apart Walking down the line Ignoring what's inside Pretending all is fine Feeling born to die
Manipulation Of The Human Mind
Mind control is a broad range of psychological tactics able to subvert an individual's control of his own thinking, behavior, emotions, or decisions. There are a number of controversial issues regarding mind control and the methods by which control might be attained (either direct or more subtle) are the focus of study among psychologists, neuroscientists, and sociologists. The question of mind control has been discussed in relation to religion, politics, prisoners of war, totalitarianism, black operations, neural cell manipulation, cults, terrorism, torture, parental alienation, and even battered person syndrome. Mind control as a legal defense tactic (see also temporary insanity) was rejected by the court in the case of Patty Hearst, and in several court cases involving New Religious Movements. Also, questions of mind control are regarding ethical questions linked to the subject of free will. Mind control theories are based on the premise that an outside source can strongly influence
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Once You Get Started
Stunna Shades
Shall a spare a small moment to write, dear readers? To sneak in a moment of stolen passion with you? Besides myself and Emma, everyone else in the household lie abed. Snoring, huffing and...coughing. I sip from my searing rainbow cup and glance now and then behind me. This is a stolen moment....with you. Even as I type, I sigh. I hear Shane coming down the hall, coughing all the while. He will wake up at least one person and that chain will continue, until I am busy once more. I sigh. And then immediately feel guilty about it. I feel badly, he is sick. Has been all week. But I need my time. I need it badly. Yesterday I went in for an eye exam. When they called me into the backroom and asked me to sit down I looked at the Lady with concern. "Are you ganna poof my eyeball?" She smiled...and nodded "Yes." "Pleeeeeeease don't POOF my eyeball!!! I'm allergic to it!" She smiled once more "It's just air." "Oh...I really, really freaks me out
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I feel so violated right now!! My son calls me at work this afternoon. He got home from school and finds someone has broken into our house. Things are tossed all over the place. Drawers, closets, cupboards.. even the damn refrigerator. Really? And get this.. they took a jewelery box, cell phones and all the damn chargers in the house. And some change. They went past the laptown, guitars, amps, surround sound stereo, TV's.. Police figure it was kids. Yeah probably. They got in through a high back window using a deck chair and the barbque. Sitting right next to the couch on the deck is a fucking ladder. WTF? At least we have stupid burglars. I'm sick to my stomach thinking these hoodlums have been pawing through my stuff. And will they be back now? I'd shoot the fuckers if I actually owned a gun!!
Given All Of Me To You
You're stealing my heart piece by piece with every moment that I spend with you In my mind they dance so soft painting an amorous world where dreams promise to be true You're wrapping my eyes touch by touch with every smile that leaves your hand On my body memories grow releasing your hidden passion and of days yet to unfold You're feeding my spirit kiss by kiss with every tune of love that your heart chants This intimacy speaks bliss teasing my curves and contour as I bathe in your fervent storm You're capturing my nights whisper by whisper with each passing second Darling don't let go of me not now nor ever for I've given all of me to you
Tree Faller
While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis. "What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment. "He fell out of a tree," I reported. The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree. "I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service." Gazing intently at the X-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'expert.'"
I Want A Love I Can See
Wmi Jay Kubassek
WMI Jay KubassekLearn about making REAL MONEY right nowIf you've heard of Carbon Copy Pro's Business in a Box, you might be wondering if it lives up to all the hype. Is this a legitimate business opportunity or just another get-rich-quick scam? Let's take a look at what's contained in Carbon Copy Pro's Business in a Box, how much it costs, and whether you can actually use it to make money.First launched in July of 2008, Business in a Box offers entrepreneurs the chance to try out Carbon Copy Pro at a more affordable level. For $395, Business in a Box (or BiB for short) contains everything needed to be a successful online marketer. Some people might balk at the start-up fee, but this is a very good deal for what has proved to be a top-tier program.When you purchase Business in a Box, you receive a boxed set that contains two marketing manuals, three DVDs, and an assortment of extras that add even more value to the product. Newcomers to the network marketing field like the system's step-
This Sucks...
I've come to the conclusion that there is no one for me. It makes me sick with envy to see how head over heels in love with one another every here is with each other. Everyone's fu-married to, or taken by the "greatest person in the world". It's kinda like how it goes in the real world, everyone else is always so happy and has such great lives, and i'm always alone. Shit no one here would give me the time of day, let alone talk to me or visit my page. Well atleast no one that i would want to talk to would. I guess it's my own damn fault for being picky. Ya gotta be though, otherwise you only waste time and effort on people you don't really want to talk to just cause you're being nice. There's alot of people in life that i regret ever getting involved with just cause i was being nice, therefor ya gotta be picky. The problem is any of the people i actually want to get to know want nothing to do with me, cause they're being picky too. I feel like a waste, I know i'm not very attractive,
Monkeys Ride Capybaras
Monkeys Ride Giant Rodents @ Yahoo! Video
Alright so some of you might not agree with what I'm about to say and may find it offense! So you are forewarned This is not safe for any work..... This came about when lately people have been calling out my name and gamertag on xbox live on websites I am part of. So out of the blue a few people just felt like talking shit or they were trying start something for no reason. I don't even know who half these people are. So this is just something I feel.... Many people will try and find fault with you. Many people will not like you for whatever reason there may be. Many people just will not like you period. Many people find it easy to just be an ass. Many people feel threatened by you that's why they call your name out and talk shit for no reason. So to those I can't help but smile and think to myself you are worthless as the shit that gets left behind when there is nothing left worth shoveling you shit stain mother fuckers!
When You Said
When you said, "I love you," I went over the moon. My heart sang its glory, The stars sang in tune. As when with a word God brought forth light, So with those words You ended my night. So with these words You made something new: A bond of devotion Between me and you. How powerful words To shape who we are! We ponder in silence; Our words cross a bar. Your words crossed a threshold And entered the past, Yet they have created A world that will last. I love you!
Mar-5-09 Acb
ACB Short for "air-conditioner booty." A woman whose buttocks, when viewed from the side, resemble a wall-unit air conditioner protruding from a house. Holly's ACB was knocking people's drinks off the table last night.
The First Of A Long List Of Battles
I run a small business. I make prop weapons for movies and whoever else would want them. Originally. I sold these props at and everything went well. You figure a small business is good. You work your own hours, you work from home, and you get back what you put into it. So if you put a lot of work in it, you start getting more and more back. Over the course of the past few weeks, I've been working around the clock. With the economy the way it is and decent jobs getting harder and harder to scare up, I finally started doing fairly well for myself. $1200 in less than 2 weeks: That's my rent. So, I go to access my paypal this morning. I come to find that 4 transactions from ebay sales have been reversed by paypal. The money was returned to my buyers. I, for the life of me, have no fucking clue why. The items were shipped, with valid UPS tracking numbers, over the course of the past 5 days. Yet paypal refunds these buyers. The total was over $500. The remaini
My Mud Buggy
My new toy is a 500 cc BMX side x side mud buggy.I've never owned something like this before it cost more than my truck and car .lol Could I possibly be going through a midlife crisis? not likely I did that at 40 and bought a 180 mile an hour sports car wrecked it going way to fast .I got past the crisis lol. I think I simply got tired of working all the time. All my kids ride four wheelers every weekend and ask me to go but I never take the time away from work.Well that's over now.this is a fun activity and I spend time with my kids and grand kids. I went to a ATV park this past Sunday and had my oldest grand baby riding with me .I admit at first it was a little scary but with the encouragement of Baily yelling faster Grampa faster I was soon hitting all the mud holes climbing the biggest hills and topping 60 mph on the straights. I just knew I would be in so much pain the next day from all the bouncing around but the truth is every joint in my body was as loose as could be . I better
Original Snapvine!
Yes, it's back up on my new profile..the original one from last year with dirty..dirty messages from Russian (when she lust me once), Moo, Harley, Witchie, Sherry, Moet, Shosh, Jan, Tawyna ...Bludge! Feel free to leave a new one.
Darkace Customs
If your into cars come visit our myspace page. Come and check us out!! Thanks
Flower Oil
When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter. During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked. Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."
How To Get Into My Nsfw Folder
Well If you are a woman u can get in for free just ask lol! A guy has to buy their way in. Either win me in an auction with a high enough bid or buy me bling (not cheap bling either), bling packs, vips, ect...... Just pm me before actually getting me something plz Mwahzzzzz, Kitty
4/3/09 Fluffy Starr Blog
Sh*t mood, but new photo! I'm a bit of a mood today. Yep. I know I shouldn't blog when I'm in a bit of a mood. But here I am, blogging! Keeping it real, yo. Just got back from my errands, and was carrying a heavy bag of food and felt extremely bored and I started realizing how astoundingly cranky I felt. And it's not because I've been dissed by my skittish crazy chihuahua all day. I realized that I have been couped up all week, and didn't really interact with any human beings! (Online doesn't count. Real life human beings, standing in front of me.) Well, not any that wanted to interact with me really. And going on errands doesn't count. You see, leading up to the show, I had an intense amount of stress. Good stress, which was excitement for the show. And bad stress. You know, personal life stuff. It was really draining on me though. So by the time the show was done, I realized it was time to have a wee rest. So I did for a few days. But that resulted me in not interacting with any r
Love To Read Stories Here
Shud Be My Theme Song!!
Promo Pic
Hey everyone! I'm on a street team for a metal band called Suicide Death Grip based out of Texas. They are having all the street team members do a promo pic for the band so please go check out their page. They are my num 1 on my friends list and my pic is in the folder called Aprils contest. Leave a comment if u like the pic(not for the squeamish). Thanx and love u all!
People Dont Care
i know people dont care what i have tosay but im going to say what i got to say anyway. well im not ignoring my urges to cut but im dealing with it when it araises. i hate when you get into a fight with some one and they though shit back in your face...thanks you mz for that one...she may demand respect but i wont give her any...but peoples words dont hurt me going to stop the cycle of abuse..
I'm really confused as to why i'm being ignored  lately i mean what have i done to be treated this way whatever the reason i'm still fricken confused and all i know if this keep's up i'll be leaving for a while and i won't anwser my phone i've been nothing but be nice to everyone i've talked to and for me to be treated like i'm not even here is beyond hurtfull and it make's me wornder about some people like are they being honest with me or am i being fed a bounch of bullshit and if so come on just be honest with me i'm a big girl i can hangle it
LOVE A few short weeks ago,I never thought I’d feel this way.When we chat online,I have your photo open.Looking into your eyes,It’s almost like you are here,Smiling at me.Checking my email,I see several from you.I read them many times,Especially the long ones.You pour your heart outTo me,Even if all you say isI love you.Makes me smile,Reading your wordsOf love.I think about youFrom the moment I wakeUntil I fall asleep.In my dreams,We take long walks on the beach,Ride horses through the countryside,Dine at the finest restaurants,Make love all night,And cuddle until morning.Talking to you on the phoneBrings a smile to my faceAnd joy to my heart.You make me feelSo special.Why do you affect meThis way?I love the way I feelWith you,Because of you.I love you.copyright jas 2008
SOON'Neath The Warmth Of A Summer Moon‘Neath the warmth of a summer moon,Under the stars that flood the skies,Wildlife listens to our passionate tune,As we share Our Love with moans and sighs.‘Neath the warmth of a summer moonWe'll be together,My Precious,Very soon.copyright jas 2007
Putting Your Selves Together
Integrating Our Many Selves Human beings are multidimensional creatures. Our identity is made up of the sum total of our many traits and values and our character. Each of us possesses within us many different selves. There is the adult part of ourselves and the childlike spirit that resides in each one of us. There is our masculine side and our feminine side. There is the hard worker in us, the artist, the parent, and the caretaker. All of these selves combined form a well-rounded, complex person. Not all of these different aspects of who we are blend easily with each other, however, and some of them may even conflict with or oppose one another. When a person’s different parts clash, such as the self that is our childlike aspect and the self that is our responsible adult, we often end up compartmentalizing or suppressing one of these aspects to ease the conflict. While this may make us feel better in the short run, we would be better off finding a way for these two selves to c
I have a DVD I'd like to burn for someone but have no clue how to go about it. If anyone can offer some advice, please shoot me a message. Thanks.
The Land Of Fruit, Nuts And Flakes
Ah, another Fubar rant for me this lovely yet partly cloudy day here in San Diego. Have you ever heard that saying about California being the "Land of Fruit and Nuts"? Well some of my friends have added the one about flakes as well cause of the mass amount of people who tend to "say" they want to meet offline (from here and other sites but I frequent this site more than others at this point) but never seem to make it to the meeting. This is something I have yet to figure out. Why even waste the energy saying that you want to meet, planning the meeting, knowing damn well you are a chickensh*t and you arent going to even move your a$$ from the chair in front of your computer desk muchless get ready, hop in your Mercedes and drive on down to the "meeting" place discussed. I guess it should be laughable at this point; given how many times this little situation has occured but more than anything at this point, it just pisses me off. I go and try to incorporate the time to meet with someone
Hilarious Book
So I am just wonderin if any of you have read Denis Leary's new book? I am just now in the prologue and am LMFAO. Give it a is worth it. BTW.. it is called 'Why we Suck..a feel good guide to staying fat,loud, lazy, and stupid'
Just Who I Am
some time life seems to drain you of everthing even of your pride.we all make sacefices for thows we love and althow some are greater than others we as people try to put are to cheep cents in for some reason or a nother im tierd of two faced punkass bitches who like to start shit when its not there life to live so im hear to start anew friends list and to just injoy life with out some of my old friends who tured out not to be. im a funny guy i have kids and im still young soo what of it. i speak my mind and dont hold anything back. call me a ass if you want too but lifes too short for second chances and games live life to the fullest take what you can give nothing back.....
The Things We Do As Humans
i know i can't be the only one who feels this way.  sometimes feelings feed into the things we do rationally or irrationally.  i think before we decide to jump into things you must know yourself first.  i thought i knew myself, but realized that i didn't in some weird way.  i looked for nurturing because i didn't find it in my life and things went awry.  i am left hurt and feeling like i am worth nothing.  i don't know why i let myself get emotionally involved and get used, but i guess thats the MO i need to break out of.  hell, i don't even let people in my life unless i've known them for a while, but sometimes you take a chance and fear rejection and guess go in with arms wide open and find out that you are rejected in the end. i plan on taking some time to know myself and to know when the signs are heading for the irrational risk taking events.  when its all over i know that its like falling off a top cliff and hurting everywhere from pain and then crying in agony.  
Wishing You Were Her [for My Mother]
            Another special day comes along I have a flash back of you,Being where you belongDuring the conversationsThere would be things I would loveThings I would hateIt felt so normalIt felt so timelessIt was not perfect but it was rightThat was then This is nowWhere have you gone?My love for you has not changedYou will still be here on this dayYou are always in my heartBut I find myselfLonging with my heartWishing you were here  Wishing I could see youWishing we could experience this day togetherA whole family as oneStill I am wishing you were hereMore than just inside my heartI am longing for your presenceI wish you were here
Twitter Fun With S51 Lol!
you lust for me cause im not yours you want what i give so freely my passion my love of life my compassion you lost that long ago hoping to gain it back by sucking me dry burying your jagged teeth into me but be warned a taste my pass your parted lips but my dagger will pierce your heart while you are blinded by your lust for me i do not give myself to those that wound me those who seek to steal what they must earn be warned the price to harm me may be your very head  on a platter  
Hybrid Car
My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth." "Really? What did he get?" "Fifteen years for theft."
My Lullaby From Edward In Which He Hums To Me
Do Not Judge Me!
If you judge people, you have no time to love them
risible \RIZ-uh-buhl\ adjective 1. Capable of laughing; disposed to laugh.2. Exciting or provoking laughter; worthy of laughter; laughable; amusing.3. Relating to, connected with, or used in laughter; as, "risible muscles."
The Ledgend Of The Quileute People
The Legend .. Taha Aki "The ground on which we stand is sacred ground. It is the blood of our ancestors." The quileute people believe we descended from wolves, to protect our people from "the cold ones" or as your people would call them "vampires" We descended from wolves, your people would call them "werewolves" It all started because the cullens came upon our land. Chief confronted the cullens and carlisle explained that they were not like all the other vampires we had encountered. That they were "vegetarians", they did not feed off of humans.The chief said that they could go on, but if any of them bit a human. The war begins.   The Change .. Wolfy "Speed is my anti-drug."
Porcelain And The Tramps : I Feel Perfect
The other day I had to stop and think And boy I love the way you get to me So I took a hit and poured another drink Your perfect frame is where I sucked it clean Oh Yeah I can never stop myself from fallin over You can never stop yourself from comin over I can feel you comin closer and closer Baby don't stop now Baby don't stop now I can never stop myself from fallin over You can never stop yourself from comin over I can feel you comin closer and closer Baby don't stop now Baby don't stop now I love how easy you crawl at me And the way it feels when you peel my clothes off me The palm of my hand's where I hold the key I fit you like the glove, it's not the ecstacy Oh Yeah I can never stop myself from fallin over You can never stop yourself from comin over Song Lyrics I can feel you comin closer and closer Baby don't stop now Baby don't stop now I can never stop myself from fallin over You can never stop yourself from comin over I can feel you comin closer and
The Six Stones
The Six Stones Lying on the nightstand next to her bed, were five smooth white stones, left over from some aromatherapy massage miracle treatment, and one acrylic stone with Raphael the Archangel of Healing embedded in it. Her breath was very labored now, her lungs filling minute by minute with fluid too deep to be suctioned, gurgling like bong-water without the smoke, the oxygen tube puffing air in her nose barely keeping her skin pink. The end of this four year battle to stay alive, and alert, to be mother, wife and friend, was near, so very near, that there was now a hush in the room, and peoples eyes started with tears at the instinctual recognition of Death’s presence. Her son, barely five years old, who had without fail, tossed as many coins in every fountain as I would let him, who never failed once, to say a prayer for his mothers healing at every meal, and before bed, was lying next to her, peacefully holding her hand. Every few minutes, he would rise up, and as he had
First Night Fun
My opening night at Wellington was just bloody great! A huge turnout and a wonderful audience - Ziggy and the guys at San Francisco Bath House are just the best ever!They really know how to run a comedy gig and we comics appreciate that.I am glad my first night went good, it really tired me out. As soon as my show was over I went straight to the hotel and was asleep for 9.30pm!I got some lovely emails this morning from people who were at the show and they mentioned how poignant the ending was, it really is an emotional show at times, but funny none the less. Am glad the Wellingtonians took to it.The downside is I still DONT have a phone that works, I have been given two mobiles but BOTH need either unlocked or thrown into the ocean for not working well. Does anyone have a cheap pay as you go phone that needs just phone vouchers and can lend it to me until 25th May? Please? The comedy fest crew down here in Wellington are awesome, they said "Call us and we will get you anything you need
Caa #97
For a very dear friend of mine, her son is having some very difficult times.  He is in need of emergency angel prayers, angel healing and angel love.   Doc
Crazy day trying to keep up with everything that can be done in fubar...    I will learn!!!   It is interesting that this actually helps me feel less lonely...
Yesterday I Met A Stranger...
Yesterday I met a stranger... Today this stranger is my friend. Had I not taken the time to say hello, or return a smile, or shake a hand, or listen, I would not have known this person. Yesterday would have turned into today and our chance meeting would be gone. Yesterday I hugged someone very dear to me. Today they are gone... and tomorrow will not bring them back. Wouldn't it be nice if we all knew tomorrow would be here? But we don't, so take the time TODAY to give a hug, a smile, an "I love you"...   JUST FOR TODAY, at a stranger...listen to someone's heart...drop a coin where a child can find it...learn something new, then teach it to someone...tell someone you're thinking of them...hug a loved one...don't hold a grudge...don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"...look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are...don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out...look beyond the face of a person into their heart...make a promise, and kee
Tracy Adams And The Westpoint Glee Club
Not Sure About This...
  Im not quite sure about this website,i mean....i was reffered here by a close friend who claims there are many hot guys around the bar here who are looking to hook up. Is this true? Its my very first night, so be gentle :)   Lets see what this bar has in store for me for tonight.... I wanna get crunked!! Do you? Wanna dance? Let's hit the dance floor... Afer that, you might even get my phone number.......for now my email will do!   Lets party!
Quotes From The Dalai Lama(3)!
"I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy... In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being... It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace."                              Dalai Lama
This Is My Brain On Epilepsy
i work this morning. this rotten sun is like kryptonite to my. after im finish working...i have a damn seizure in the shower. not enough to go to the hospital but enough to know i have that rotten condition. i think i need to start doing some drugs that im prescribed...cuz this shit just doesnt seem to work 100%...when i really need it to. so eff you! to all the whiners who have such horrible problems like...cant find the right photo or trying to keep their race "pure".... ive got a fight to keep my brain from dying. looks like im stronger than all the tough ones already. and that saying..."bite your tongue"...sorry ive literally done that over and over. i'll say what i want what i want...act the way i want. because most people that think they can overpower me...still dont know what its like to live an actual problem...not a tv show stereotype life.  
To watch and witness all our thoughts and to believe in them through acting out, either in a positive way or in a negative manner can only help us as we grow inwardly to allow our minds to dwell on what is of value to us and what is valueless; which is your goal? For one you see as means; the other, end. And one must serve the other and lead to its predominance.Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become actions.Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character.Watch your character; It becomes your destiny.
Walking Away
A light shines offIn the distanceA pale flickering glowHow many timesDo I have to dreamThat I could be thereThe time is hereAnd she won't beWaiting for meTo find the easy way outI've lost count of the daysThat were wastedThere's an answerIn the sound of a trainThere is wisdomPast the bridge on the bayThere's a lifetimeThrough the fogIn the rainThere's a beautyIn walking awayI float on the streetsThat are emptyTake the pathThat the wind only knowsTonight is the last timeThat I'll ever be hereThere's an answerIn the sound of a trainThere is wisdomPast the bridge on the bayThere's a lifetimeThrough the fogIn the rainThere's a beautyIn walking awayIt's never quite simpleIt's never that safeIt never seems perfectUntil it's too lateIt's never the right timeTo find a new wayThere's an answerIn the sound of a trainThere is wisdomPast the bridge on the bayThere's a lifetimeThrough the fogIn the rainThere's a beautyIn walking away
In Her Music Box
She had a bad dream in the back seatSame one as yesterdaySame one as last weekSurrounded by her favorite favoritesElmo, Barbie, her purple baby blanketAnd that little Matchbox it looks just like Dad's carIt's fast on the leather, pretends it's NASCARIt jumps over Elmo 'cause it can fly that farWith Daddy in the front seat frontin' like a Rap starAnd Girl oh Girl, Daddys the greatestHe knows the wordsTo everything on the radio play listHe fakes the accents, even makes all the facesAnd when he raises his voiceIt makes her feel like he's famousYeah Poppa got his lean on, a mean oneWeavin' down the Lake Street tryin' to get his seen onStoppin' the whip to say somethin' out the windowBobbin' his head to the beat on the radioGood Daddy won't smoke no weedUntil the bass cradles her back to sleepThen he can stake his mack while she takes a napTo the sweet pretty sound of the gangster rapShhh, the high hats are angel's voicesThey keep her distractedFrom the stranger's voicesEscape is a paradoxB
Everything I Touch
"Everything I Touch" The more I feel The more I die Nothing to give Nothing inside Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break I scratch and tear Until it bleeds I do not want I only need I only need I only need Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break Everything I touch I break
5/18/09 Dilbert
3 Songs By Minus Fyder
made up...played..recorded last night. jam sessions are always fun...especially being a singer with nothing but thoughts in my head with the band just playing what they will. ive got to figure out names for some of the songs though. "animal" "searching for land" "no problem/no solving" of course it was all improv and freestyle but...we did put a few songs together that stuck. there was something...someone...i had in my head to sing about too. so it  made it easier to just wail and sing what was in my skull. and if that aint crazy enough...i have a serious lust for red paint and black for some reason now. which im going to use tonight. my imagination and creativity is coming back with a twist. and i'll have to thank someone for that soon.      
shit some one hit me up am bored as hell girls dont be shy
So fucking jealous right now!!!McCain's daughter - who is prosex according to the media because she doesn't support abstenance only - just was called out by MY LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT because it was claimed her friend dared her to go on the show and LICK HIS FACE!! He totally was going to let her...DAMN IT THAT IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST KINKS....So greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen...Honestly though, she is SMOKIN' HOT!!Lv M Ps - as I told a nice man from TN:...My boyfriend was laughing in extreme joy as I sat here and wailed...I would have launched over that desk with a sliding motion, grabbed him on either side of his face, knocking the desk chair to the floor, held him down and licked like an animal...Fuck being a lady...
What Does Your Family List On Fubar Mean To You
I guess everyone has a different idea about what a fubar family member is.  To some people it is just those who are allowed to look at their nsfw. To others it is a list of the people you are closest to. To me it is a list of the people that I talk to regularly and honestly consider my closest friends. I dont get out much because of being a parent to severly handicapped children so honestly all of my friends live in my computer. Its a sad, and very pathetic fact. So the people I have in my family list here on fubar are the ones I have come to know and love. Would even go so far as to give almost my very last fu buck to. No it's not real money, but it's still representative of hours spent rating people and earning it. 
You don't have to watch the video, just listen to the music. =D   See comments...
Us Congressional Medal Of Honor
  Petty Officer II (EOD2) Mike Monsoori, a Navy EOD Technician, was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor posthumously for jumping on a grenade in Iraq, giving his life to save  his fellow Seal.  (Notice: Mike was not a Navy SEAL, he was EOD. He gave his life to save a group of Navy SEALS.)During Mike Monsoori's funeral in San Diego, a his coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery,  SEAL's were lined up on both sides of  the pallbearers route forming a column of  two's, with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin.
New Clip At" Ballbusting & Humiliation
I have just posted a new clip on My clips4sale store at "Busted & Disgusted" Rope Bondage, Ballbusting & Humiliation (4 minutes): Almost 5 years after their first meeting and repeated requests to be in one of Mistress Genevieve's ball busting videos, this sniveling twit finally gets his chance � only to repeatedly disappoint. Not only can't he take the booted kicks even half as well as he had bragged all these years� to add insult to injury, he has arrived to shoot in yellow stained tightey-whiteys. After just a small handful of rather light kicks it becomes obvious that this wimpy worm will need his arms bound behind him to prevent him blocking Her kicks� and it's time drop the drawers. Those stained briefs come in handy when the ball-less wonder asks for Mistress to �at least � wipe the sweat from his brow, in a slightly disrespectful tone. Mistress makes sure this pitiful gimp learns a valuable lesson� be
Hey What Up Need Some Help
if u have any ? about it let me know i need some fubar bucks plz help me out i will also help u out in some wau thanks
Luculent Giggles
Luculent gigglesof achild's laughterdanced to the songof alocomotive'strekacross aninsipid land.Though destination has no cast,a summonsto it ticklesplayfullyat resolvewhere wanderlustis but afootfallaway.Sarenade your sweetsiren song,my giglet, my minx.Footsteps tomy love whereever theymay lead.A sigh of contentmentas a homeis slungto the backonce again.
Sins And Scars
Creeping like seeping sewage through my brain, I am in danger of the fall into the shadow call that has left reticulated scars of my sin etched for all to see upon my skin. Never the victor, never to win.Yet I must refrain from the distain of my insane self and I sit in feign acceptence again and again through the passage of the days.
Where Did I Go?
A person who looked like me,stopped to look into the mirrorand told me,"Have a nice life."
Lover's Rhyme
Oh!   Come love me now, for there will be plenty of time for sleep. Like a schooner at sea with massive white sails full blown in the wind, we shall ride the mighty waves of ecstasy together, heart over mind through the waves of good and troubled times. Then our lives will be forever one in this lover's rhyme!
My Photography Copyright Protection
No its not NSFW, but I have seen that with enough complaints all is NSFW and I am not going to get deleted for any housewife drama. Anyone wanting to feel interested I am the copyright holder of any and all pictures where the young lady says she is a Spirit Girl.Specificcally in case any misinformed souls believe that photos on fubar or any other social site are considered public domain.If you have not been following the news there is currently several major lawsuits involving infringement of fair use of copyrights on photographs. Myspace and other social sites are coming of an age where identy theft is becoming more and more prevalent. In the case of photographs, it is sometimes difficult to determine who owns the copyright and there may be little or no information about the owner on individual copies. Ownership of a “copy” of a photograph – the tangible embodiment of the “work” – is distinct from the “work” itself – the intangib
The Demon Lies
Insanities coils wrap my dreams into bleeding knots of worry. Wondering if that day will come to seize it all away. My dreams reflect the turmoil that is in my soul that is all caused by unconcience fear of betrayal. I need to get away and back into focus with myself instead of worrying over what the demon may try next. The tongue of the demon tells you to "Relax and do not worry, trust in me and you shall see what you feared is not to be". Do I trust the words of a demon thats sole purpose is to rip from me my joy? Hell fuckng no! It can not be trusted as I have seen because one thing comes from its mouth and its actions tell another story of lust. I think I will take a break from life and fuck the rest of the world, it seems that no one would miss me anyways and maybe when I am gone I can wake up from this fucking nightmare you have made me see. Go back to that pit of hell you surfaced from to haunt me no more. I do not care to know you demon in this cold and shadowed world.
Take Time Out!
Being Home Is Odd
I went over to see my niece Ann Margaret and her kids. I had just missed Shawn and Abi, as they were at school but got to spend time with wee Julia. We took her out to the local cafe and we sat outside in the early morning sunshine. Julia tottered about; she is so cute and is two and half years old. She spotted a wee fat woodlouse on the concrete tiles. "Look a wee bug" she pointed. "Go say hello to it Julia" I said. She bent down, her wee bum in the air; she put her face near the louse and said loudly "Are you out here for a wee smoke?" All the adults who were puffing on a ciggie and quaffing coffee stared at each other and stubbed out their fags. I laughed loudly; I could just imagine a wood louse having a wee fag. Julia decided to 'touch' it to see how it felt and I think the wood louse became a squashed dot on the tiles, but we ignored that bit. I headed home and tried not to think about sleeping as my jet lag is a killer. So now today I up at 6am. After spending a whole mont
Are Some People Just Born Lucky???
Are some people just born lucky?  No matter what they do in life,  it seems to always go their way. Then there are some that couldnt get their life in gear no matter how hard they try,  how much effort they put into it, how much they do with out for the sake of others. They just cant get one inch of luck to go their way no matter how they attempt it. Why is that,  I really like to know!! My  hubby and I have been trying since we were married over 32 years ago to make a better life for each other and now our sons. Yet no matter how we try and put our best foot forward we still get kicked in the dam face. Every thing just goes belly up or sours.  Its fucken frustrating,  you start to lose all hope of ever seeing that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you want to toss the towel in and say fuck it whats the use. You feel like a beattin dog on the society of life. You watch tv shows how people are giving a second chance at the good life,  or they are giving a new home what ev
People Are So Stupid...
You know... its so fuckin funny... to watch ignorant people on fuckin FuBar.... its just a fuckin website... I mean get a real fuckin life... SO what you feel like being a dumb fucker to make your stupid ass look so good... whats it goin to do for you in the real world... not shit... you stupid pampous asshole... I mean come on..... you wanna act like your fuckin 8 go back to the playground and cry cuz you got a booboo.... I mean come on... stop bein a fuckin douchebag, grow some balls and stop tryin to stick you dick in every fuckin things that walks.... its just the internet.... get a real life.... People make me laugh.... Im glad its Sunday and God give me this day to laugh at stupid people he put on this earth for people like me to brighten my day... Thank you Lord for this blessing! AMEN!
Potions And Brews From The Crock-pot Witch - Apple Cider Communion Brew
On the Eve of Samhain in early Scotland, the witches and pagans of the day would take a chalice of specially-brewed ale and wade out into the sea surf up to their waists. Speaking the words of invocation to the sea gods and goddeses, they would slowly pour their potion into the waters, divining protection and blessing. Bring home the magick and brew for yourself a most wonderful potion. Health, love and wisdom await all who savor this enchanting juice. You will need: 1 Gallon Apple Cider (home-made or locally prepared, of course!) 1 Plump Orange 1 Large and Deliciously Tart Red Apple 1 Handful of Sweet Rose Petals 3 Cinnamon Sticks 1/8 Teaspoon Nutmeg Now... Before you begin you must know to NEVER use metal, lest it be an iron cauldron. Do you not have an iron cauldron to use? Or a cast-iron dutch oven? Or have you (gasp) broken your most prized cauldron? Then today... We shall improvise in the best way fitting ~ and you shall become a Crock-Pot Witch like me! Just warm y
Ladies are born with wisdom, but ignore it in tender years, a heart can rule a ladies mind and often bring hard tears. When a woman really loves a man it opens up her soul, yearning for a deep true love to fill in that empty hole. Often, they see inside a man those things he just won't share, lessons learned in childhood to hide how much they care. Sometimes, they see inside his heart past that tall brick wall, to sadly find he is not the kind to really love at all. Each time her heart is broken it leaves behind deep scars and brings a vow never again to let things go that far. For awhile, all hope is killed as the doubts begin to roam, like echos in a vacant house that used to be a home.
11/23/98 Dreams are ment to be happy. They are ment to come true. They scare you into reality, Or make you see like your dead. What are dreams really about ? Do they show you your destiny or your fears. Some try to show your fears. Others show your faith. While there are still some that are unknown, They show you something you need to know. Yet it is beyond your understanding  to comprehend the message. Only on can give the gift of knowledge. Yet you have to ask for it inorder to recieve it. What do your dreams mean to you or do you understand them at all?
Evanescence-"call Me When You're Sober"
Bombing..i Was Upset When I Did It.
You know for the butthurt people who are mad I didnt bomb can go fuck yourself first of all.Second,I only bombed about 15 people and didnt finish my bomb.I had a family crisis and my mom was very upset calling me crying and it was a little hard to deal with.So before you be a bitch to me  try reading a person's status.Im sitting their saying Im upset and not finishing my bomb and I continue to have people beg me to bomb them.I dont mind a friend asking.I dont mind but try not to be a such a point whore for 5 seconds to stop being a dickface to someone upset.I swear I find some winners on this site.I love points..We all do but being an asshole isnt going to get you far.Then in the mist of being upset and writing this blog I get a dumbass "friend" trying to guilt trip me into to showing him my nsfw pics.If I want to show someone I will.I understand your in iraq dude and I respect you for serving our country but telling me I dont support the troops because you cant see my tits i
Family And Such.
So as most have noticed I might be a tad bit eccentric lol.Today and yesterday Ive felt quite froggy.Don't really know why.Maybe it is the nice warm weather and good times I've had lately.This blog is super random but whatever Im bored lol.So Ive noticed some of these young pups on fubar can't read so good.No Im not going to fuck you in case I havent made that clear.Lately Ive had alot of stupid men trying to talk about my boyfriend.Well honey that won't get you far.He is my world..and you can probably out fuck you with his eyes closed.Trying to tell me you will buy me whatever I want don't get it either.I have a father with money and I get whatever I want from him.I don't need you.Nothing is more aggravating then a man thinking they can buy me.Im spoiled in real life and Im spoiled on the fu.I like it sorry if you don't.My real friend here know the real Alissa.Anyone else's approval isnt needed.The real Alissa is a bitch yes but a very loving and nice one lol.My family on fu is the fu
Rating Pics
Seriously how lame are you? I think it's funny if I give my honest opinion and someone rates me low just cause I gave them a low score get over it stop taking it personal not everyone is gonna think your a ten! This site is hilarious!
God Dammmnit! I am so aggrivated right now. I woke with a migraine invading my frontal lobe just above my right eye. OUCH. Then I got a call from one of my sisters about this problem person only associated to our house because of a new cousin in the family. The problem person is nothing but a huge train wreck who has used everyone she's ever touched. The cousin is someone I am VERY close to lately, but if she can't get the psycho out of her life then I am not sure how close I want to be... I work too damn hard to get rid of the bad people...just like I did with Paul - swipe! you are outta here! [People come and people go; nothing lasts forever]...WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SO FORGIVING? Don't the know burns hurt? [oh maybe they've never through a house fire.] Yet I watch this cousin and two siblings get wrapped in this crap because that cousin brought this mess from her last relationship. She walked away from the asshole dominant, but is still dealing with those he brought into her world
Fubar Slacker
WARNING WARNING...this is a Fubar slacker and just uses your pics to perv on them. He gives nothing(rates or comments) in return.   zapzapzap">@ fubar
Soon To Be!
She told me to go to bed for a few little hours,Rest my little aching head upon the pillows,Under sheet's warm & cosy, Singing in her ear,I took the advice off my dear & followed suit.The music played sweet & smooth under the neon moon,Whispering so gently I'll be seeing you soon,Let's join hand's under the silver plated star's,Hit the bars & dance with ribbon's & Silk.The piano keys played from ghost's off the past,The violin strings resonate the same old tune's,Echoing through the steel vessel's off every ship,As the spray hits the bow, swimming in multiple thoughts.I miss our word's, your gentle sweet word's,Just will not leave my soul, Steel & chrome,Hold's on tight to those metallic pillar's with sea spray in my face,Still confused but holding tight, No matter how tattered the flag.Leave's these green shores in awe, For land's I've never seen,Wondering how everybody has been, For blurry eye's,Holds my head up high & stares to the skie's,Wondering how life & destiny, fame & fortune
New & Phils!!!
I am new to the site, so dont take it personal if I dont respond lolol (still figuring it all out) P.s.- Go Phils!!!
All I Have To Say Is...
Big Lots is, hands down, the cheapest place EVER for apartment stuff. Seriously. I think I'm gonna orgasm over the amount of money I saved on stuff today. 
I Am Lost
I am lost when I am with you I am lost with out you My heart is full of pain Your love has left a stain I can't shake this feelin I can't start the healin Through the pain and the anger You have become a stranger I can't take this pain another day I wish the world would just go away Take me out of this life Stab me with your knife Let my life bleed out So there is never a singel doubt Bring my pain to an end My ever faithful friend.  
Dead To The World
I'm addicted to the way you got me feelingI'm fiendin' for your love and every night you got me dreamin'I'm lovin' everything that you do to meForce me down on my knees and make me call you daddy (Daddy)Am I a good little bitch to youHit my pussy from the back and hit my triple 6 tattooI won't break honey listen up closelyI want you to hurt me, I want you to scold meBlindfold me, lick my pussy to the right, lick my pussy to the leftDon't stop you ain't finished yetTaste my sweet cream filling, don't wash it offSavor the taste plus it makes your skin softI be that sick bitch, everything you wishedPornographic blasphemy and self indulgance bitchYou know you want to overdose on thisBut you can't handle it that's why I'm called Mrs. SickI'll be your lover, I'll be foreverI'll be tomorrow, I am living without herI'll be your lover, I'll be foreverI'll be tomorrow, I am living without her(Talking)Remember when we fucked while your ex was at workShit, hell yeahThen she got home you started to
Nature: Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nature To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars. The rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and what he touches. One might think the atmosphere was made transparent with this design, to give man, in the heavenly bodies, the perpetual presence of the sublime. Seen in the streets of cities, how great they are! If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile. The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence. Nature never wears a
Titanic Window
Dear Robert Browning, …Do you know, when you have told me to think of you, I have been feeling ashamed of thinking of you so much, of thinking of only you--which is too much, perhaps. Shall I tell you? It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me--the fullness must be in proportion, you know, to the vacancy...and only I know what was behind--the long wilderness without the blossoming rose...and the capacity for happiness, like a black gaping hole, before this silver flooding. Is it wonderful that I should stand as in a dream, and disbelieve--not you--but my own fate? Was ever any one taken suddenly from a lampless dungeon and placed upon the pinnacle of a mountain, without the head turning round and the heart turning faint, as mine do? And you love me more, you say? Shall I thank you or God? Both, indeed, and there is no possible return from me to either of you! I thank you as the unworthy may…and as we all thank God. How shal
Night Shots
A Fun Game
A fun pool game to play with your bottom/sub –  Dunk Dunk The Goose   Objective - The game objective is to dunk the other person first   Set up – Dom/Top and sub/bottom get in the shallower end of a standard backyard pool with their foreheads pressed together.  Heads do not have to remain pressed, but this is the ‘face off’ to start the game.   Rules –  Only the Top/Dom can use their hands, until the moment the sub/bottom accepts they have been forced under the water during a DUNK. The bottom/sub can only use their feet and head to redirect the Top, not to intentionally injure, before a dunk attempt. The bottom/sub is allowed to ‘fight back’/’defend themselves’ with the allowed parts within reason.    *it is recommend the hands of the bottom are either kept in their pockets or bound in some fashion, as they have a hard time sticking to this one otherwise.   Once submission of the DUNK has taken place by the sub, if the r
What Do You Mean..nsfw??
The Shape Test
You Are Confident You are self-assured and together. You have high self esteem. Other people see you as outgoing, hyper, and even a bit overwhelming. Your ideal romantic relationship is unconventional, wild, and very public. You do best in tasks that require you to be flexible, creative, and playful. The Shape Test
Not Cutting My Hair!
I'm going to grow it back out once again.
Linda Ronstadt - Easy For You To Say - Live
World's Best Tatoos-49
I found dust in the stillness of my sill.No spin or song to the room.Just an empty peaceof truces between one stranger.An unslept in side of bedand an ever fading sense of purpose.Determined to survive, but forgetting all other flavors between.Just walking by a market of greys and blurs.No pricetags, no barking vendors.I found a ghostly whisp of hope in that place.Like light breaking clouds in the rolling green seaof life, cool gravel-y breezes and fescue.Soy, soma, and betrayal.I wasn't sure what to make of it.Beast, stranger, darling or whore.To this day, I'm not sure when pretending stopped.Such experience... such vivacious exchangeI'll never understand it, feel it the way you all do.Some people are born colorblind, and I imagine a worldcold, flat, and even in tones of brown.Some can't sing, and that's not nearly as hard to fake.But then there's meexpressing all joy and pleasure for the sake of performance.Some men are born blind, deaf, dumb and addled.They are the subject of my dai
Faba Is Up For Auction
your chance to own FABA looking for FUbux or bling packs linx hate me so copy and paste this please? bid now share with friends?
Ghost Hunting
I was recently asked to convert a ghost hunting website into a sister site for a paranormal research team. It has been a very tiring and frustrating last few days.  But what I really need is help from anyone who is interested in paranormal research.  I need to begin adding articles involving EVP's, different views involving the paranormal and other paranormal activities.  If anyone has a particular interest in the subject, please feel free to send me a message. Until then, who is from Tulsa and wants to go ghost hunting?!
Fallen Angel
  A Fallen Angel She walks with her broken wings,Knowing that she wont be able to fly. She carries her shatter heart,Knowing that it will never be put back together.He has destroy her once more.When will she learn, he is no good.Its always the same She believes what he said. Gives him her heart, And opens her wings.Only to let it shatter in a million pieces, And for her wings to break.Her happiness is no more.Her trust has slowly faded into the night,Along with herself.All she knows now is to be broken.Her will to live has fade as well She cant believe he broke her againMaybe one day she will learn.She is now one of the fallen She will no longer will fly She will no longer love or be loved For she had to learn her lesson She should of never had let him get to her.For now she is the fallen angel.
This Gets Worse And Worse
This cemetary isn't too far from my house, so I drove past it today just to see. It was heartbreaking! The whole area is surrounded by Police Crime Scene tape. The side streets surrounding the cemetary are blocked off by Sherriffs, so only if you live there can you get in. Family members looking for relatives had to park about a block away and they bused them over. There were probably about 30 people being helped when we went past. The cemetary is closed to the public. Actually, another cemetary a block or so down was taped off as well. I don't know if there's any involvement at that cemetary or they just did it to keep the area free of gawkers. Overall, the cemetary appeared to be in good condition. The only really disturbing thing was there were white tents set up in several places. I don't know if these are areas that were affected or not. ALSIP, Illinois (CNN) -- A Cook County cemetery where hundreds of graves were dug up and allegedly resold has been declared a crime scene, meani
I Went To A Party
I went to a party,And remembered what you said.You told me not to drink, MomSo I had a sprite instead.I felt proud of myself,The way you said I would,That I didn't drink and drive,Though some friends said I should.I made a healthy choice,And your advice to me was right,The party finally ended,And the kids drove out of sight.I got into my car,Sure to get home in one piece,I never knew what was coming, MomSomething I expected least.Now I'm lying on the pavement,And I hear the policeman say,The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,Mom, his voice seems far away.My own blood's all around me,As I try hard not to cry.I can hear the paramedic say,This girl is going to die.I'm sure the guy had no idea,While he was flying high,Because he chose to drink and drive,Now I would have to die.So why do people do it, MomKnowing that it ruins lives?And now the pain is cutting me,Like a hundred stabbing knives.Tell sister not to be afraid, MomTell daddy to be brave,And when I go to heaven,Put Daddy's Girl
The Golden Rule........
I THINK NO MATTER WHAT OTHER "BIBLE" RULES THERE ARE SET...THIS SHOULD BE A PERSONAL RULE FOR EVERYONE......CAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND WILL ALWAYS COME BACK AROUND TO YOU........     you always remember those who helped you no matter  what it always remember them.....and i dont mean only the ones who bomb u and chuck bling at you cause they may posess the power of the almighty dollar.....i mean the ones who will sit on your page and rate and rate and rate day in day out just to show they support u..even in the most difficult ways (fucking bouncer checks lol)...the ones who come out of the blue and just totally rape a whole album or your entire stash  even tho u havent even said two words yet that day....just because maybe they saw u scrollin or noticed u uploaded a new pic....those are the friends u must always remember  the ones who will come rate you even if you dont have on those ever popular auto 11's
A Search For Peace
Eternal Mornings
 A waking sigh slips, past sleepy pouted lips. Stretches start from hips, to toes and fingertips. Tingles travel through, the being that is you. Rippling whence it grew, a sweet warming brew. Blue eyes part slow, giving me their glow. Butterflies then grow, as that is all we know. Days may come and end, leaving like a friend. In our arms we spend, all that time will lend.
Personally, I Think They're Lying! Lol
The First Lady's White House office has issued a correction after earlier reporting that Michelle Obama's father was buried at Alsip's Burr Oak Cemetery, where as many as 300 bodies were unearthed as part of a $300,000 scam by workers to re-sell grave plots. "I can confirm the First Lady's father is buried at Burr Oak cemetery, " the first lady's spokeswoman Camille Johnston wrote in an e-mail earlier Tuesday. There was apparently some confusion at the White House, and the spokeswoman later said that Fraser Robinson III was interred at Lincoln Cemetery, not Burr Oak. Both are in Alsip and are within two miles of each other. Robinson, who died in 1991 from complications stemming from multiple sclerosis, was a city employee and a Democratic precinct captain. He married Michelle's mom in 1960. The graveyard has been closed and declared a crime scene. The historic black cemetery is home to Emmett Till, an icon of the civil rights movement. Michelle Obama's mother, Marian Ro
Such A Tragedy
Wish i could spend a night with you between my legslisten, i sit and wonder who's having love with you nowbehind closed eyes, my private horror showthe queen of fools is wearing the crownand the sea of heartbreak is where i drownAnd love is dead - it's a tragedyyeah love is dead - what an evil thiefyou stole my heart with no regretsnow love is deadSo many asses around me, but i only want yoursI'm starving 'cause my nights are a borehello again, here comes another lone daythe naked truth is here to stayAnd love is dead - it's a tragedyyeah love is dead - what an evil thiefstole my heart with no regretsnow love is dead - shut up and rotyour love is dead - i'm gonna chop up the cockthat stole my heart with no regretsyou stole my fuckin' heart with no regrets
The Die Is Cast
We may wear different uniformsAnd our traditions not the sameWe may sing different marching tunesBut our drummer's beat's the same.With our Freedom's Flag unfurledWe travel land and air and seaTo protect this way of life we liveTo show others how life could be.We all march shoulder to shoulderProud Sisters and Brothers, allWe take a solemn vow and swearWe will answer our Nation's call.Some may serve one hitch or twoFor some, will be their life's careerSome will serve, “over there”And there's some, will stay right here.We come from all walks of lifeTo join in that one common causeTo guard and protect the U.S.A.So we won't be, that Land, that was.We are out there at the forefrontFor all the rest the World to seeTo show them all how proud we areOf this great Land of the Free.All who serve should take a bowThen stand straight and tall with prideSalute that ol' red white and blueSisters and Brothers, side by side.Someday maybe, they won't need usAnd wouldn't that be just fineFor
Struggling With A Decision?
"You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind." -- Dale Carnegie My anxiety level spiked the other day as I wrestled with whether to choose option A or option B. I was so afraid of making the wrong choice! And then I remembered, with deep gratitude, Susan Jeffers’ sage advice: There are no wrong decisions! Whatever we might choose in life will bring valuable experiences if we are open to receive them. “Lighten up! Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you’ll handle it!” -- Susan Jeffers
woo hoo i'm bored as shit watchin my nephew waiting till he leaves to go home well i was planning to type more but i'm not gonna so l8er pplz peace
Earth Warrior
Key Key Don't Like Cameras...
Killing Myself??
my wonderful hearty breakfast this morning is   i diced up some bacon and sliced some hot dogs and fried them up in bacon fat from last nights BLT's and i added 5 eggs and fake cheese and chasing it with a monster   the good news is im having whole wheat toast     hows everyone this morning?
Me Singing Vid :)
This is awful, but whatever ;p
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - The Simple Guide
How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - The Simple GuideBy Arvy Smith You're reading this because your relationship came to a screeching halt, because your boyfriend, for whatever reason(s) decided to put the brakes on the relationship.  Now your mind is probably reeling.  If you still care about him, you probably want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.  If you keep reading, you'll find some advice that can help drastically improve your chances of doing just that. Realize that you're programmed differently than him.  What exactly does this mean?  Well, evolution has made it so that men are generally more logical and women are more emotional.  While it may seem like a good idea to appeal to him with raw emotion while being upset or crying, this will actually work against you.  This can push him away from you.  It can actually make him feel justified in breaking up with you.  When it comes to knowing how to get your ex boyfriend back, this isn't the path you want to choose.  It
The Murdering Heart
Down on my knees I beg you back I beg you back into my life for one final chance for one final chance to feel the loveI once had so long ago You shy away from my touch you can barely look at me I fall to the floor so lost and confused Blood smeared on my face you cry tears of joy for no longer are you broken, no longer are you alone ,you have found your place in this world and in her arms.I have fallen from grace in your eyes and shall love no more.  My maggot filled heart lay in pieces on the floor as I watch helplessly from afar your soul  was once tarnished and bruised but as she picks you up in her arms and takes you away in her warm embrace, you welcome her love,embrace her security and trust for once again you feel whole .You have found passion again and have broken the mold that once was encrusted in our lives.You are no more alone, no more are you a broken little boy.You look upon me once more but only as a broken down soul not as the woman you used to love and cherish but only
Just Breifly Now
Of all the effects of arrogance and egotism that run rampant over the American Mindset i think the one I enjoy least is the unappreciative attitude. I mean, how difficult is it when someone does something for you to just say Thanks? I always do, but then I guess its cause its easy when it only happens once in a blue moon. Living with such an undifferentiated mass of microcephalic ingrates has left me feeling suicidal again so I will go.
Love Poem
"" Promote World Peace ""
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.
Saw Him At Coffee This Morning....
That was uncomfortable.   I can't even look at him.   I did tell him that he was no different than every other guy that has fucked around on me.   So why then does it hurt SO much more this time??   GodDAMMIT I need to snap out of this!!   fuck me sideways!   GET A FUCKING GRIP SILVER!!!!  
Top 10 Tips To Find More Balance In Your Busy Day
1. Steal Five Minutes – wherever you are! The next time you have five free minutes, grab it and do nothing. Get to a meeting early and sit quietly; try to forget that extra load of laundry; take a short walk; breathe deeply; pause. Being still allows you to reconnect with your instincts 2. Delegate… and Appreciate Let your kids make their own beds, and be OK with how they do it! If your husband makes dinner, don’t complain about the burnt hot dogs, but show gratitude. Give yourself a break by letting others help you 3. Your Health Matters Like clockwork, you take your kids for their annual checkups, to the dentist and to specialists, but over 50% of moms we talked to said they miss mammograms, doctor’s appointments and dental checkups for themselves! Make a master list on the computer of all your checkups, specialists’ names and numbers and dates for visits and then no slacking off allowed… Your mental and physical health is a priority 4. Sex is I
Random Thoughts Of The Day
Did you ever want something so bad in your life but you don't how to approach it to just let yourself have it. well I am the one the knows this better then anyone . I sit every sit wondering on how I can be who he wants me to be or what I should do just to let him see that it can be real. You don't have to sit back and wonder so much on how you wished life didn't turn out you wanted or how much you longed for someone and never did anything about it. For months I have wondered that and every time I tryed to hard to let that person see there is just no interest there or feeling of hope or anything . so i just ask myself is he worth the wait should i just be patient and everything will fall into place but until that day I still will be sitten here wondering what I can do or say to make him realize he is the one that was meant for me.
Poor Cat
JENSEN BEACH, Fla., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a man charged with possessing of more than 1,000 images of child pornography on his computer blamed the downloads on his cat. Martin County Sheriff's detectives said Keith Griffin, 48, of Jensen Beach, was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child pornography stemming from the more than 1,000 images a detective found on his computer, reported Friday. Detectives said Griffin told them he would commonly leave his computer on and his cat would download strange materials by walking on the keyboard. He was taken to the Martin County Jail in lieu of $250,000 bail.
I still haven't figured how to get points.Maybee I should go cut firewood!
Swim In The Moonlight
She strolled out of the open doors, into the moonlit night. The warm breeze sensually caressed her naked skin. The smell of the exotic flowers in the garden heightened her senses. She was anticipating a long, slow swim in the pool to relax after a heavy day at work. She began to walk down the pool steps, the once calm water rippling with her movements, cooling her warm, curvaceous body. She swam several lengths of breast stroke before stopping to catch her breath at the far end of the pool. She floated on her back, her eyes closed. Her firm breasts rose out of the water, the water droplets on them shining like jewels in the moonlight. She was enjoying the gentle tickle of the water around them, arousing her. She moved upright and relaxed against the edge of the pool, her toned, tanned arms outstretched. She closed her eyes again, floating off into her own dream world. She heard a faint splash at the opposite end of the pool. She snapped her eyes open and gasped as a tall, n
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Registered Trademarks Of Blizzard Suspected The New Information
Content Summary: The next World of Warcraft expansion pack will be named "World of Warcraft: The great disaster" (tentative translation, World of Warcraft: The Cataclysm)! And this new piece of information will be in mid-August this year, Blizzard officially announced on the Carnival. Information on the content of films including the whirlpool, the upper Wizard Queen, Sargeras, and death may be out of wings!      Carefully in the latest foreign players registered trademark in the United States to find an interesting thing, "a major disaster (Cataclysm)", by Blizzard Entertainment in the June 26 this year to apply for and approval of June 30 the role of the new trademark cover "comic books, online entertainment services, World of Warcraft cd key, online games, computer games, set for cards, games, etc. around."      There is no doubt that this will be a heavy snow will soon be published, new things, but what is it? New game? Set for the new-style? Or a sumptuous special game will around
Les Paul Dies At Age 94
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. - Les Paul, the guitarist and inventor who changed the course of music with the electric guitar and multitrack recording and had a string of hits, many with wife Mary Ford, died on Thursday. He was 94. According to Gibson Guitar, Paul died of complications from pneumonia at White Plains Hospital. His family and friends were by his side. He had been hospitalized in February 2006 when he learned he won two Grammys for an album he released after his 90th birthday, "Les Paul & Friends: American Made, World Played." "I feel like a condemned building with a new flagpole on it," he joked. As an inventor, Paul helped bring about the rise of rock 'n' roll and multitrack recording, which enables artists to record different instruments at different times, sing harmony with themselves, and then carefully balance the "tracks" in the finished recording. With Ford, his wife from 1949 to 1962, he earned 36 gold records and 11 No. 1 pop hits, including "Vaya Con Dios," "How High
My Spirit
I am the lords work I am his will I am the words he spoke when time beganI am the wind that blows and the waters that flow I can be a hurricane or a gentle breezeI can be the rivers flooding or a misting rain I can be an earth quake or a sunny dayI can be lightning striking or a breath taking sunsetI am a force of nature and just when you think I have lost my strength  God transforms my energy
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Wow...what A Morning
I've been informed because I'm submissive that I want someone to literally shit on me. Um, yeah...NO! Soooooo love the stupid!
Obama's Drug Czar Blames Hot Weather For Medical Marijuana Lie This could not have happened even a year ago. Gil Kerlikowske, the United States Drug Czar, has backpedaled on his pronouncement that marijuana "is dangerous and has no medicinal benefit." His original statement was made to The Fresno Bee on July 22. But in a little-noticed interview with Komo 4 News in Washington earlier this month, Kerlikowske was given a second chance to address the question. As pointed out by Jacob Sullum at Reason, the nation's top official on drugs excused his statement by blaming the weather: "We had been hiking in 107 degree weather in the Sierra Nevadas and when we came down ... The question was in reference to smoked marijuana and as you know, smoked marijuana has not been shown by the FDA to have that, to show medicinal value. And that ... This is a medical question and that's where we're gonna leave it." So, specifically, he believes marijuana burned then inhaled has no medicinal value, but ot
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Icon And The Black Roses : Black Rose
Some black roses on the floor And gliding petals on the river Your tears are so cold They 're twisting streams on your pale skin But once you had a red rose on your hands And spread its seeds away while hoping they blossom red Sound and safe from that tainted soul of yours Because your soul is black you fear the sun, wind and rain And would never let them to shine, blow or fall on your grave So the red roses are black for you, today Some black roses on the floor And drips of blood on your fingers With every torn you hurt so deep While harvesting on your death field But once you had a red rose on your hands And spread its seeds away while hoping they blossom red Sound and safe from the tainted soul of yours Because your soul is black you fear the sun, wind and rain And would never let them to shine, blow or fall on your grave So the red roses are black for you, today Roses are black roses for you today Roses are black roses for you today Roses are black roses for you today Fo
I Can't Stop
I can't stop thinking about you Wondering if you think of me, too I can't stop thinking of your lips Oh! How soft they are between mine I can't stop imagining your hands As they caress my every hair and limb I can't stop thinking of your face How I love it and it thanks me in return. I can't stop thinking of your voice, As sexy as the body it possesses. I can't stop feeling your touch inside me. My temperature rises and emotions explode. I can't stop thinking of how much I want you, how I need you No matter what you do, I can't stop thinking about you.
Wooden Leg Insurance
Wooden Leg Insurance    A man and his wife, moved back home to West Virginia, from Ohio. The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Ohio cost them $2000. Per year!    When they arrived in West Virginia, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.    The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.'    The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in West Virginia to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Ohio!    The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39.... You just have to know how to describe it!'   
The Zombie Squad
                               The Zombie Squad If you are reading this then you are either a member of The Zombie are intrigued about us or possibly interested in becoming a member in which case I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. So what is "The Zombie Squad" and how did it begin you may be asking yourself,so here is our history. The Zombie Squad was founded by myself,I've been a member of Fubar for a few years and while a lot of the new changes made to Fubar is fun and exciting a lot of what is happening "I feel" isn't so fun and exciting and I feel that because of some of these new things a LOT of people aren't getting the luv that they deserve. I also feel the MAJORITY of Fubar are ordinary everyday people,people who may not be blessed with overwhelming sex appeal,blessed with a body chiseled out of granite,people who don't have the capabilities of making really cool graphic pictures for people to generate intrest in their page and last but
Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse
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The Alberta Government and the Alberta Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Alberta ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a 'more humane' solution.What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Alberta Ranching Association and Farming Association by the Alberta
I Feel Like Dying Lyrics
Only once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dyingOnly once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dyingOnly once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dying(I feel like, I feel like, I feel like...)Yeah, hello...Get lifted...Yeah, I get liftedYeah, yeah, so get lifted... yup! Haha...I am sittin' on the clouds, I got smoke comin' from my seatI can play basketball with the moon, I got the whole world at my feetPlayin' touch football, on marijuana streetOr, in a marijuana field, you are so beneath my cleetsGet high, so high, that I... feel... like... lyingDown in a cigar, roll me up and smoke me 'cause...(I feel like dying)Only once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dyingOnly once the drugs are done, that I feel like dying... I feel like dying(I feel like, I feel like, I feel like...)Swimming laps around a bottle of Louis the ThirteenthJumpin' off of a mountain into a sea of CodeineI'm at the top of the
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 Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to     send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, Clucking, and pecking the ground.     A rooster strolled past.. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
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Lbb Entry 29
Quit Your Job
I am genuine and down to earth person. I love going out and meeting people. I have a very outgoing personality. I am fun to be around. My hobbies are going to the gym, swimming and cycling and my favourite is socializing with my friends. I love to travel with my family Quit Your Job
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Hillbilly Hero
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is inreal distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,'Kin ya swallar?'The woman shakes her head no.Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'If you don't send this to five friends, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!
It is worth cataloguing the basic principles to be enforced to increase website traffic and search engine rankings.   Create a site with valuable content, products or services. Place primary and secondary keywords within the first 25 words in your page content and spread them evenly throughout the document. Research and use the right keywords/phrases to attract your target customers. Use your keywords in the right fields and references within your web page. Like Title, META tags, Headers, etc. Keep your site design simple so that your customers can navigate easily between web pages, find what they want and buy products and services. Submit your web pages i.e. every web page and not just the home page, to the most popular search engines and directory services. Hire someone to do so, if required. Be sure this is a manual submission. Do not engage an automated submission service. Keep track of changes in search engine algorithms and processes and accordingly modify your web page
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eldritch\EL-drich\ , adjective:1.Strange; unearthly; weird; eerie.
Kryptonite Lyrics
Well I took a walk around the worldTo ease my troubled mind.I left my body lying somewhereIn the sands of time.But I watched the world float To the dark side of the moon.I feel there's nothing I can do, yeahI watched the world floatTo the dark side of the moon.After all I knew it had to be Something to do with you.I really don’t mind what happens now and thenAs long as you’ll be my friend at the end.If I go crazy then will you stillCall me Superman.If I’m alive and well, will you beThere a-holding my hand.I’ll keep you by my side With my superhuman might, kryptoniteYou called me strong, you called me weak,But still your secrets I will keep.You took for granted all the times I never let you down. You stumbled in and bumped your head, and if not for me THEN you'd be dead.I picked you up and put you backOn solid ground.If I go crazy then will you stillCall me Superman.If I’m alive and well, Will you be there a-holding my hand.I’ll keep you by my side Wi
Repeat But I Still Laugh
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True Love. What Do Those Two Words Together Mean T
True love. What do those two words together mean to you ? To some it may mean that you found the one you will spend the rest of your life with. That they found their soul-mate. To others it may only be a fairy tale. To these people, true love does not exist. For they do not believe in true love or love at first sight. To me, it means It is the one word that can potentially free us from all of the weight and pain of life: And that word is love. Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Love can never be just one single feeling in itself, but is an emotion built up from two or more feelings. The easiest word to describe this complicated feeling would be war, whether you believe it or not. It can be one of the easiest things to begin, but one of the hardest things to let go of or end. It is the irresistible desire that cannot be denied. And it is obviously more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is always a
Flying Free In Space
The Last Goodbye
I had to come back here just one more time And try to trace the steps I left, left behind A fool's desire for just one final glance A fantasy that blinded me to the trap Suddenly something deep inside me longs to stay behind The only way I can keep from being torn apart Is if I can get you out of heart and out of mind Such a lonely place to be (yeah yeah) Locked inside of all my memories Which once upon a time I held so dear (so dear) But now I see the truth becoming clear The boy that used to live here has gone away And now this man is standing in his place I think it's time for me to face this last goodbye You're out of heart and out of mind I know it won't be easy Just one step at a time And with gods help I can move On with life The Last Goodbye by Jonny Lang
Not Always Right | The Store My Friend Is Blowing In The Wind
Customer: *on the phone* “I’ve been trying to order a book from your store in Palm Harbor for the last two days, but they never pick up the phone!” Me: “OK, what number are you calling?” (The customer gives me the number and I check our records. She has been calling the right number.) Customer: “I’ve been calling and calling and they never, EVER answer! It’s so unprofessional! I need you to contact them for me.” Me: “Well, to be honest, if they never pick up for you, they’re not going to pick up for me either, but I’ll see if our manager has a suggestion.” Customer: “Well, obviously you should try calling on the employee line!” Me: “We don’t have that, ma’am. We call each other’s stores with the same numbers you’re using.” Customer: “When you get through to them, tell them I want them to order this item…” (The customer gives me all the
Not Always Right | She Fought The Law And The Law Won
(This is one of those chains that does gunned ear piercings. Gun piercings have MANY risks–embedding being one of them. A customer walks in with two children, ages 4 and 7.) Customer: “The stone fell out of her earring. Can you put a new one in?” Me: *examines ear* “Ma’am, the earring is embedded in your daughter’s ear. You need to go to the doctor. I can’t help you.” Customer: “No, stone fall out of earring, we just need new one.” Me: “No, ma’am. You see, putting the back on too tight like this pulls the front of the earring INTO the earlobe and it becomes stuck.” Customer: “Okay, you take out.” Me: “You aren’t getting it…it is stuck inside her ear. A doctor needs to cut her ear open with a scalpel and retrieve the earring.” Customer: *freaks out and starts stringing expletives together* (I retrieve her waiver to show her where she signed in FOUR places stating sh
My Personal View Of Wow
WOW is just a game, should not replace all your life, if you understand that these, in a game that you will not care about much, nor would a person in the Games because of a matter affecting the mood, after all, there will always be one day you want to leave the game wow power leveling, and I hope you are left with a pleasant memory.    Now talk about the attitude, now that you want to play games, please treat it seriously, the next time a copy of the study requested in advance a copy of BOSS and the corresponding skills manner, and can do to eliminate them after the first look for reasons, learn how to feedback information and step-by-step treatment of the master copy of the rhythm.A second, natural question Pastor Treatment has precepts and sacred gift of points, we all know this. Individuals at this stage consider the precepts of suitable brush MT, sacred mission fit both brush up world of warcraft power leveling. Apart from the precepts of natural ago Nix Medium used at outside, no
i hate you more than i love myselfnow that you've turned into that person i begged you not toyou promised me you wouldn't you fucking liaryou cried and i believed younow i just want you to dielike i dida thousand times i couldn't believe itwhen i talk to you, i bleedit flows out of my pores and through the phonedrown in my blood and my tears if a promise is a comfort to a fooli must have fallen asleep to a lullabyi saw you in a restaurant eating with your rancid lipsi hope it's a healthy saladpoison ivy leaves cooked in cyanidei wish i could burn your heart like you've scorched mine
  Boredomand might I suggest you try to write like a grown ma instead of a pissed off 12 year old? Buy here back an leave me alone dudeFFS it is a website get a grip=== 'CHΘPPΣR™ LøuñgeXpèrt/Cúst.TågsXpèrt/Grãphîç~ÐêsígnërXpèrt' wrote the following at '2009-10-05 11:02:17'..>> annoy her?? r we in kinderguarden?? why would u wanna do that i mean ur a grown woman> === ' Kloverlynn' wrote the following at '2009-10-05 11:00:57'..> >> > I bought her to annoy her> > it worked> > === 'CHΘPPΣR™ LøuñgeXpèrt/Cúst.TågsXpèrt/Grãphîç~ÐêsígnërXpèrt' wrote the following at '2009-10-05 10:58:53'..> > >> > > may i ask why u bought ccbrat from me? did u not notice i was first in her family? i mean it's no big deal but she send me this message back,, this is a copy and paste -> just got bought...not happy..i dont care..not changing my name!..i didnt notice!..ill probably get kicked off today for pissing someone off with Mumm beginning
Not Always Right | Night Of The Loving Dead
(I’m a personal trainer and at the end of a set my client makes an announcement.) Customer: “So, I think I’m a necrophiliac.” Me: “Um, what?” Customer: “I think I’m a necrophiliac.” Me: “And why would you think that?” Customer: “Because I’m always tired and I keep falling asleep at my desk.” Me: “Narcoleptic.” Customer: “What?” Me: “You think you’re narcoleptic.” Customer: “Right. What did I say?” Me: “Necrophiliac.” Customer: “What does that mean?” (I tell him.) Customer: “Oh God NO!”
Not Always Right | A Smokin Deal
Customer: “Excuse me, miss?” Me: “How can I help you?” Customer: “Why are these brownies “special”?” Me: “They’re the bakery’s special of the week. They’re on sale now through Saturday.” Customer: “So, there’s nothing different about them?” Me: “I’m not sure what you mean.” Customer: *winking* “They’re not…’special’ brownies?” Me: “Oh! No, sorry, they’re just normal brownies.” Customer: “Never mind, then.” *sets down the container and walks away*
Not Always Right | One Should Learn From Mistakes So They Are Not Receipted
(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer.) Customer: “Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.” Me: “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day!” (About 20 minutes later, the customer comes back.) Customer: “I bought the wrong figure! I need to make an exchange!” Me: “All refunds and exchanges are done at Customer Service. Good thing I held on to your receipt!” (I hand him his receipt and he went to Customer Service. He gets his refund, then comes back to my register with a different toy.) Customer: “Alright, this was what I wanted to buy! Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.” (This time, I put his receipt in the bag without saying a word.)
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reverie\REV-uh-ree\ , noun: 1.A state of dreamy meditation or fanciful musing.2.A daydream.3.A fantastic, visionary, or impractical idea.4.Music. An instrumental composition of a vague and dreamy character.
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The Nobel Prize Use To Mean Something...
And now they give it to the president...who in his own words feels he does not deserve the honor..yet he is forced to take it instead of respectfully declining... There sure is something wrong with that prize the award creators own words most people that have received it do not deserve it.. 'Alfred Nobel wrote that the prize should go to the person who has contributed most to the development of peace in the previous year' Look at the list...doctors, chemists, writters..etc. They have taken it so far away from the original intent that the honor is lost.. Um ok but Obama took office just shy of 2 weeks before the contest dealine for submissions! He should not have even been considered for it until next year..if at all. I have but one question...just what did the prez do to deserve this prize? The answer has eluded me..   / RANT
Dmx - Prayer Iii Lyrics
Let us pray Lord Jesus it is you, who wakes me up every day And I am forever grateful for your love.. .. this is why I pray You let me touch so many people, and it's all for the good I influenced so many children, I never thought that I would And I couldn't take credit for the love they get because it all comes from you Lord; I'm just the one that's givin it And when it seems like the pressure gets to be too much I take time out and pray, and ask that you be my crutch Lord I am not perfect by a longshot -- I confess to you daily But I work harder everyday, and I hope that you hear me In my heart I mean well, but if you'll help me to grow then what I have in my heart, will begin to show And when I get goin, I'm not lookin back for NOTHIN Cause I will know where I'm headed, cause I'm so tired of the sufferin I stand before you, a weakened version of, your reflection Beggin for direction, for my soul needs resurrection I don't deserve what you've given me, but you never took it from me be
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My Heart To You
Softly, raindrops fall, My heart to you and that is all Of me the world has to do Give my heart to Only You.   Gently, the wind does blow My heart to you is all I know For all my life, all I knew I'd give my heart to Only You.     Slowly, the years go by, My heart to you, need no reason why For always our love will be true I'll give my heart to Only You.     Brightly, the sun does shine, My heart to you, our love is blind. Hold my hand, life guide me through I'll give my heart to Only You.     Coldly, slowly the whole world dies My heart to you, there in your eyes Forever and always it's all I do
Real Queshun
I am thinkin to get a netbook (12" one) (do NOT insert penis references here, assholes) so I can take it with me to Russia and use it while traveling.   ANd I have NO idea what to get. HALP??!
On Artists Of Abstractions
Quite some time ago I wrote a blog with a quotation from Picasso in it that I found amusing and pertinent. Today I had reason to go back and find the exact quote - I found a nice little story about it from and I am sure I can borrow a quote from him that he is borrowing from Picasso. It all relates to Tropic Thunder (the movie) some how. (from from Picasso): One of my favourite stories is about the artist Pablo Picasso, who was travelling by train on a journey across Spain when he was recognised by one of his fellow passengers, a businessman who was used to getting his own way. After exchanging pleasantries, the businessman told Picasso that while he admired his success, he felt his paintings could be improved. “How so?”, replied the bemused Picasso. “Well,” the businessman began, “Your paintings are too abstract – you should paint things more as they really are.” “Could you exp
Never Say Never
Some things we don't talk about, Rather do without, Just hold a smile. Falling in and out of love, Ashamed and proud of, Together all the while. You can never say never, While we don't know it, Time and time again. Younger now than we were before. Don't let me go Picture, You're the Queen of everything, Far as the eye can see, Under your command. I will be your guardian, When all is crumbling, Steady your hand. You can never say never, While we don't know it, Time, time, and time again. Younger now than we were before. Don't let me go We're falling apart, And coming together again and again. We're crawling apart, But we fall in together, Pulling together, together again. Ooohhh Ahhhhh Don't let me go
♥what Kind Of Girlfriend Are You?♥
WHAT KIND OF GIRLFRIEND ARE YOU?  Multiple choice options may seem like the easiest way to get a feel for your role in a relationship, however, we've bypassed all of the tedious questioning and are cutting straight to the categories, so you can determine once and for all, what type of girlfriend you are. Here's a look at the top eight choices; decide which type you are, which type you'd rather be, and which type your best guy friend's girlfriend is, and email her this link! Loving and Loyal You are one of the few women who can actually be deemed honest. You don't cheat, you don't lie, and you are genuinely loving. Yes, you partake in the occasional fight, but your intentions are always to move the relationship in a forward direction, even if that means admitting you too were wrong. You show your affection in natural way, by listening and supporting your boyfriend. You never put to much pressure on him and you expect the same in return. Too Good To Be True Usually you're this type
Zayne's Smile
Zaynes Smile Current mood:  cheerful Category: Writing and Poetry I look out the window, and watch the sun set I glance down ay my son as he pats his pet I see his smile, a smile so bright A smile that gets me through the darkest of nights I hold him close, I smell a faint fragrance of lavender in his hair I whisper in his ear "mommy loves you and I'll aways be near" I tell him "someday a girl is going to break your heart" "try not to dwell, there is always a new start" I tell him life won't always be fair but try to live it without worry or care Always be honest, loving, and kind Always be respectful, it will clear your mind things in life will tear you down be strong, pick yourself up off the ground Don't ever think you dissapoint me You are my life, you are the best of me How do I explain life to this little boy A life so precious, he has brought me so much joy when his little hand is in mine I realize life is good, and I am fine As he grows into a man, I wi
  Figured I would write a blog to let everyone know whats going on with me...I recently found out I need surgery on my shoulder. Ive had a little round ball of scar tissue on my shoulder for the last 10 years or so (you can see it on my default pic). It has never caused me any problems or pain it just sat there. Well recently is has changed shape and began to swell, My shoulder is all red and swollen So I went to the doc friday..he set me up for x-ray and an ultrasound..Seems this thing is compressing 2 major blood vessels. So he told me it has to come out no matter what, he is also gonna test me for cancer just to rule it out. So sometime this week Im gonna be operated on..Im really worried its gonna be something bad. I havent had the best luck healthwise.I will keep this blog updated with the latest info   :::update::: I went in today for the ultrasound and x-ray..The doc took one look at my shoulder and ordered immediate surgery. It fucking hurts!! he removed a mass from my sh
I got a pimpout as a gift.....and never saw it...... bleh   /rant
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scuttlebutt\SKUHT-l-buht\ , noun:1.A drinking fountain on a ship.2.A cask on a ship that contains the day's supply of drinking water.3.Informal. Gossip; rumor.
1 Week Without Weakness.
  It's been, one week since I looked at you....   7 days, going on 8 currently. My sleeping habits have changed, my eating habits have stayed the same, and my attitude has never been more indifferent. The only substantial difference I see since having retired from smoking, is the way people have acted toward me.   The non-smokers, and the reformed smokers(I still don't like those people), have accepted me with open arms. As in both cases, I am now one of them. But the smokers, those who i've left behind, have acted as if what I've done was a move against them and them alone. I have not treated ANY of them any differently, but have had numerous comments made toward me, and for what? For choosing to not do something with MY body? Why does this offend them? Do they hate me because they can't do it, but want to? Or because the can, but don't want to?   Either way, envy is the bastard brother of hate, and he's bringing him along for the trip. As the looks of anger I've gotten from pe
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I feel it, it's coming Rain, feel it on my finger tips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like Rain, wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain When your lips are burning mine And you take the time to tell me how you feel When you listen to my words And I know you've heard, I know it's real Rain is what this thunder brings For the first time I can hear my heart sing Call me a fool but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top Till I feel your When you looked into my eyes And you said goodbye could you see my tears When I turned the other way Did you hear me say I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky You promised me when you said goodbye That you'd return when the storm was done And now I'll wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun Till I feel your Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say, never go away Waiting is the hardest thing (It's strange I feel like I've known you before) I tell
Poem " Not "
Not talking,  Not listening, Just staring in space. Not looking, Not hideing, Just sitting here in place. Not caring, Not crying, Just thinking about you. Not eating, Not sleeping, Where i could be dreaming of you. Not hoping, Not wishing, Just to see you. Not wanting to live, Not wanting to be here, Without you by my side. But here I stand all alone, in my mind. confused, and beaten on the inside. Scared of being alone, All my life.
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Not Always Right | Sins Of The Father
Me: “How can I help you?” Customer: “I can’t do that thingy.” Me: “I’m sorry, What thingy?” Customer: “Emails. It keeps saying error 421. I never put that number in.” Me: “That’s an error number. Can you tell me what lights are flashing on the modem?” Customer: “What’s that?” Me: “It’s a small box with cables running into it. It will have a lot of lights flickering on it.” Customer: “The box with the blinky lights?” Me: “Yes, that should be it.” Customer: “Oh, I thought my son put that in here to annoy me, so I unplugged it!”
Not Always Right | Just A Teensy Bit Dramatic
Vet | Auckland, NZ Customer: “I’m on my way to the kennels and my cat here needs an injection to get in.” Me: “Well, you need an appointment for that. We’re fully booked until tomorrow afternoon.” Customer: “If you’re going to be so difficult, I’ll take my cat elsewhere and get it put down!”
Not Always Right | Aggression Issues
Tech Support | Tokyo, Japan Me, checking a customer’s network connection: “…so you double-click with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.” Customer: “What? Double-kick?” Me: “No, double-click; I mean you click twice, consecutively with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.” Customer: “Double-kick?” Me: “Yes, double-kick your monitor.”
Not Always Right | More Slippage (freud)
Movie Theater | Greenwood, IN, USA (I was working another very long day right after March of the Penguins had come out , stuck in the box office, when a sweet looking little old lady and her sweet little old lady friend walked up to the window.) Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?” Old lady: “Hello sweetie. I’d like one senior for March of the Penises.” Little old lady friend: “Oh my God…” *shocked, puts hand up to mouth, whispers to friend* Me: “I think you might have the wrong theater…”
Not Always Right | Joys Of Self Righteousness
Police Operator | Unknown Location, USA Woman: “Hello, I’d like to report a ticket.” Me: “I beg your pardon?” Woman: “I want to report a speeding ticket.” Me: “I don’t really have the ability to write tickets over the phone.” Woman: “He’s speeding down the road; he must be doing 90mph!” Me: “Generally at this time of day we have patrols on every major street.” Woman: “I caught up to him and he is doing about 102. His license number is ******. (I pretend to write it down so I can end this phone call.) Me: “Thank you ma’am, I’ll get right on mailing this-” Woman: “Did it come up?” Me: “Yes it did.” Woman: “What did it say?” Me: “It says the car is stolen.” (It didn’t.) Woman: “Oh my god!” Me: “And what is your Driver’s License Number?” Woman: “Why do you need that
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