Fubar Blog Posts 2

Dear Kotex (too Funny Not To Share!)
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantyliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. *Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. *Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well gu

Dear Diary...
snagged from gaia/phoenix lmao.. i love this:: DEAR DIARY, I never told you this before, but since you have no eyes, I decided it was time to tell the truth. Remember "Sunday October 1, 2006 - 8:30pm"? When I was enjoying you in that special way, and you weren't sure it was okay, but I didn't care, because we love each other? Well, the reason I stopped so suddenly was because dad walked in the room and saw what we were doing. He took you away from me. I'm replacing you right now with another identical Diary, it might be alone and lonely forever in dad's sock drawer. Yet, this is for true love. SINCERELY, TOM.

Dear God
Please read the whole song and then if you have a comment let me know... More or less this is why i cannot believe in God and Christianity in general... ************************ Dear god, Hope you got the letter, And I pray you can make it better down here. I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer, But all the people that you made in your image, See them starving on their feet, cause they dont get enough to eat From god, I cant believe in you. Dear god, Sorry to disturb you, But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear. We all need a big reduction in amount of tears, And all the people that you made in your image, See them fighting in the street, cause they cant make opinions meet, About god, I cant believe in you. Did you make disease, and the diamond blue? Did you make mankind after we made you? And the devil too! Dear god, Dont know if you noticed, But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book. Us crazy humans wrote it, you should

Dear Lie
You suck You said you could fix anything Instead I'm fucked You made things even worse for me If I had balls I'd tell you get away from me Guess I'm not smart I let you unnerve me I let you control me Afraid the truth would hurt me When it's you that hurts me more Chorus Get outta my mouth Get outta my head Get outta my mind Stop puttin' words in my head Get outta my mouth You're nothing but trouble Get outta my life Get out of me Out of me out of me Out of me Out of me lie Lie lie lie lie Dear lie You're dumb You think you've got the best of me You think you won Misread my vulnerability I've got your walls Now get the hell away from me I've learned your art Won't let you unnerve me Won't let you control me The truth will only free me And your lies won't hurt no No more Chorus Lie lie I've got Your walls Now get the hell away from me I learned your art Won't let you unnerve me Wont' let you control me The truth will only free me And

Dear Tou
Dear TOU Body: Dear TOU, Body: I_____ you. You have a nice _____. You make me ____. You should _____. Someday I will ___. You + me = _ _____. We should __________. If I saw you now I'd _______. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. If I could I'd give you anything it would be ___________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this is lots of fun!! You can really make someone's day. Or you could just make them laugh really hard. Whatever. You can put more than one word in the _____________.(send this back to me and then post this as a bulletin so i could do the same)

Dear Alcohol, Hell Yeah
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? (ok... not so much exes... more like good friends that wake up just to talk to me when I drive home!) 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a g

Dear Heartbreak
Ok Cherries!!! Here Is the First of many questions that need some help!! Here is the Problem: IM MADLY IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN. I LIVE WITH HIM AND WE WERE TOGETHER AT ONE TIME. WE STILL SLEEP TOGETHER BUT HE IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE NOW. AND HE IS MAKING HER LIFE A LIVING HELL. I WANT HIM BACK IN THE WORST WAY. ITS BREAKING MY HEART AS USUAL. ONE MIN HE IS TELLING ME THAT HE LOVES ME BUT HES NOT IN LOVE WITH ME...NEXT MIN HE IS LOOKING AT ME AND ASKING ME QUESTIONS LIKE Y ARE YOU SO GENTLE. WHEN HE AND HIS GIRL GETS INTO A FIGHT. HE WANTS ME. HE HASNT BEEN FAITHFUL TO HER SINCE SHE MOVED HERE TO BE WITH HIM AND I HAVE TOLD HER SO. BUT SHE ISNT LISTENING. NOW SHE AND I ARE FRIENDS AGAIN BUT HE IS STILL WANTING TO SLEEP WITH ME. I CANT TELL HIM NO BCS I LOVE HIM SO FREAKING MUCH. I DONT WANNA STOP. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO STAY STRONG AND NOT CRY OVER THIS..BUT AS IM TYPING TO YOU...TEARS ARE STARTING AND HE IS SITTING BEHIND ME TALKING TO WHITERIDERS WOMAN. I KNOW I SHOULD PUSH ON AND T

Dear Tide
Dear Tide: > > > I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. > What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you,

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a

Dear Dr Phil
Dear Dr.Phil When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like

Dearest Father Above...
I wake each morning with a smile Because u're there to guide me. I know u're love is pure and strong I know u're always beside me. U're always there to gently whisper Or nudge with sincere encouragement U're there to remind me of my strengths And uplift through any discouragement. Thank u, Lord, every day; for each blessing and gift u give. Thank u, Lord, for every moment for the love in which I live. May God bless u all my cherry friends and fans too. And remember he is the only one u can always trust for everything.

Dear God
Dear God: Why didn't you save the school children at... Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96 Bethel, Alaska2/19/97 Pearl, Mississippi10/1/97 West Paducah, Kentucky12/1/97 Stamp, Arkansas12/15/97 Jonesboro, Arkansas3/24/98 Edinboro, Pennsylvania4/24/98 Fayetteville, Tennessee5/19/98 Springfield, Oregon5/21/98 Richmond, Virginia6/15/98 Littleton, Colorado4/20/99 Taber, Alberta, Canada5/28/99 Conyers, Georgia5/20/99 Deming, New Mexico11/19/99 Fort Gibson, Oklahoma12/6/99 Santee, California3/ 5/01 and El Cajon, California3/22/01? Sincerely, Concerned Student ----------------------------------------------------- Reply: Dear Concerned Student: I am not allowed in schools. Sincerely, God

Dear God
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for? THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit. Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to? THAT'S GOD wanting you to talk to Him. Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them? THAT'S GOD. There is no such thing as coincidence. Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford? THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart. Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. . .. THAT'S GOD passin

Dear Kotex
Dear Kotex: I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from h*ll...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya...See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess w

Dear Abby From Ohio
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Columbus who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin w

Dear Friend
Send This To All Ur Friends, And Me If I Am 1. If U Get 7 Back U R Loved Dear Friend, When u feel like crying....call me. ! . ! . ! I dont promise that I will make u laugh, but I can cry with u. If one day u want to run away dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop...... but I can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone..... call me. I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if u call...... and there is no answer..... come fast to see me. Perhaps I need you. ____0000000000______0000000000_____ __000________000__000________000___ _000___________0000___________000__ 000_____________00_____________000_ 000____________________________000_ 000___________THANKS__________000_ _000____________FOR___________000__ __000__________BEING_________000___ ___000__________MY_________000____ _____000______FRIEND______000______ _______000______________000________ _________000__________000__________ ________

Dear Hubby
To my darling husband Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Walmart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent, but the pickup fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife. XXX

Dear Someone
I miss you I just want to know you love me that you know im still alive Tell me you think about me and not because you ran out of things to think about Tell me you want to hold me and love me just as i want to you Tell me im beautiful Im the only one Stop treating me like a kid Dont tell me im rushing things I dont want to be your little sister i want to be yours Dont tell me your too bizzy for me Tell me you think about me at night just as i think about you Tell me you miss the touch of my skin the look in my eyes the sound of my voice when you lay me down at night Tell me you miss the touch of my body and the smell of me when i lay next to you Tell me you love me please Because i love you you laugh if you want i wrote this for you ive been cryn and i really miss you and yea i know im only 16 im just a kid im acting like a baby you dont care tell me all that if you want but i just want you to know how i feel about you i dont care if you feel different i dont

Dear, Little Ones
Dear, Little ones You are the light in the dark, The sun in the rain, The stars out with the moon, You are the love in every beat of my heart, you are the flowers I see just after a light rain, your the rainbow in the sky, the first hints of sun raise and those of sun set, your everything wounderful to me, Your my childeren I will love you more with every day and every second that passes by. You grow bigger everyday ,but to me you shall always be my little ones,

Dear Dad.
DEAR DAD, I JUST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY FATHERS DAY. DAD, I KNOW YOU DID THE BEST YOU KNEW HOW TO, YOU WERE ONLY NINETEEN YRS. OLD WHEN I WAS BORN. I FORGIVE YOU FOR THE BEATINGS, AND THANK YOU FOR PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS, WHEN YOU CAME TO VISIT AFTER THE DIVORCE. SORRY ABOUT THE CRAZY OLD BARBER CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU FOR POINTING A GUN AT A FIVE YR. OLD. BOY CAP PISTOLS IN THE LATE 60'S & EARLY 70'S SHURE LOOKED REAL. LOL. THANX FOR TAKING ME TO SEE YELLOW SUBMARINE, WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. I STILL HAVE THE HAND BLOWN GLASS BLUE MEANIE I BOUGHT YOU AT A GARAGE SALE, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH. THANX FOR TAKING ME IN AFTER MOM HAD THAT REALLY BAD NERVOUS BREAK DOWN. THANX FOR LETTING ME MOVE BACK IN WHEN I GOT BACK FROM CALIFORNIA AND DIDN'T HAVE A JOB. THANX FOR LETTING ME MOVE BACK IN WHEN THEY TRIED TO TORCH MY MOTORCYCLE ON THE SOUTH SIDE. THANX FOR BUYING MY LIQUID MEDICATION AND MY FOOD AND TAKING CARE OF ME WHEN THE DRUNK DRIVER

Dear Friend!!
Chocolate said to a lollipop, "You are damn sweet". The lollipop replied "I'm Not as sweet as the person reading this"! "Ur smile makes me smile"..."ur talks make me glad"... "Ur company makes me happy"..."But ur absence makes me sad"... "Be always with me my dear friend"!!! Send this 2 all ur friends in ur list, and also back 2 me if i am ur friend... If u get more than 7 u r lovable

Dear Terrorist
Dear Terrorist, Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America. You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America. You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies, but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America. Why? Because of something you guys will never understand. America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers. America isn't about a place. America isn't even about a bunch of bodies. America is about an IDEA. An idea that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue happiness. (No guarantee that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!) Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany: "If you cannot see my point, then feel my pain." This concept is alien to Americans. We live in a country where we don't have to see your point. But you're free to have one. We

Dear Solider
Dear Solider, I would like to thank you. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, even though the news doesn't talk to much about you anymore. I haven't forgot about you. Solider, no matter what branch of the service you are in, I salute you. You may not know me, but I know you. I know that you are sitting over there in the desert, looking at the pictures of home, wanting to come home. I know that you take the chance to get online, and just check for messages from your family or friends, or anyone, to make sure that we haven't forgot about you. Solider, we haven't forgetten. I know that there are nights that you would rather be home, tucking your child into bed or spending time with that special someone. But because of you, many of us are able to enjoy those things that we have taken for granite many years. You don't know me, but you know of me. I am the American that you are over there fighting for. I am the American, that wasn't in favor of the War, but as soon as our troops w

Dear....
Dear, I to thee this diamond commend, In which a model of thyself I send. How just unto thy joints this circlet sitteth, So just thy face and shape my fancy fitteth. The touch will try this ring of purest gold, My touch tries thee, as pure though softer mold. That metal precious is, the stone is true, As true, and then how much more precious you. The gem is clear, and hath nor needs no foil, Thy face, nay more, thy fame is free from soil. You'll deem this dear, because from me you have it, I deem your faith more dear, because you gave it. This pointed diamond cuts glass and steel, Your love's like force in my firm heart I feel. But this, as all things else, time wastes with wearing, Where you my jewels multiply with bearing.

Dear Civilians
Dear Civilians, "We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas in which we would like your assistance: 1. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. 2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass. 3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. 4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniform

Dear Sir
Dear Sir by YeahBabyyy © Dear Sir I think of you often Even in your absence I feel you here I close my eyes and Feel you all around me The taste of your lips The softness of your kiss The feel of your hands stroking me The feel of your body between my legs The desire in me burning deep within Yes dear Sir, I remember.. The sound of your voice The bonds that bind me The cravings that make me “ my Daddy’s lil girl “ Along with the softness I feel the roughness too The feel of the silk scarves That covers my eyes The feel of ropes That binds my hands and knees The feel of the leather flog That stings in several places The feel of the sharpness Of the your blade The sound of your voice Strong and stern And Yes Dear Sir, I remember … Why I am “my Daddy’s lil girl “

Dear Kotex
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-fuckin-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, t

Dear Kotex
Dear Kotex I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. *Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. *Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen- dare-ya.. . See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate From the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders Will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cram

Dear Friends Are Always Close
“Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.” "Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." "Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears." If I'm in heaven and your not there, I'd carve your name in golden chairs, for all the angels there to see, that I love you and you love me. If your not there on judgement day, I'll know you've gone the other way, so just to prove our love is true, I'd go to hell to be with you.

Dear Mel......can Ya Do This ???
Dear Mel, I _____ you. You have a nice _____. You make me ___. You should _______. Someday I will _____. You + me = ______. We should __________. If I saw you now I'd _______. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. If I could I'd give you ___________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" ON YOUR BLOG AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this should be lots of fun!! and you can really make someone's day. Or you could just make them laugh really hard....

Dear Coward
I don't know who this is actually addressed to and I may never but I feel I must still air my grievance. I wanted my first bulletin to be about something fun and light but instead I must rail against Konservative fascism reaing its ugly head. No doubt by this point you are wondering what I am talking about. You may have noticed that in the last 24 hours my profile picture has changed. This occured under extreme duress. Apparently anyone of your photos can be flagged as abult or inappropriate and you have NO APPEAL PROCESS WHAT-SO-EVER!!!!!! The spirit of this policy is incredibly unamerican but I will address that later. What I would like to do is defend myself since I have been denied this inalienable right by the faceless arbitraters of this website. That photo was not adult! I state this with absolute confidence because there is no were in this country I could not have walked down the street attired as such. Furthermore if there is going to be an adult designation for photographs wh

Dear Carrie
FILL IN THE BLANKS! I ____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS YOU GET..............DON'T FORGET TO RESPOND TO THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS TO YOU!

Dear Phil *my Ex*
Dear Phil...~*~ True Confessions and pouring my heart out~*~ Okay Look its 4 A.M I went out in my livin room after gettin off the phone with you and tried to watch tv didnt work because all I thought about was you. So I shut my tv off closed my eye's figureing it would help sure didnt because Im still tired as hell but can't sleep because All I think about is you. So I figure Id just write you and let you know exactly what is going threw my head for once I dont wanna wake you up so Im just going to tell you now and here while its on my mind. Look the reason I didnt know If i was sure i wanted to talk to you or not like anymore It really had nothing to be against you and I mean this really in the sincerest way it's not you it's me. You may or may not know Im not going to say you don't know how hard it is for me because honestly I dont know weather it is for you or not. But everytime I talk to you and everytime I hear you voice it pulls me back closer to you and its like it sucks m

Dear Abby....
Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I

“dear Icp”
“Dear ICP” Smack that bitch right across the lips Cause she ain’t nothin but a filthy bitch Beat the freak in the head with a cinder block Blackin her eyes your lunatic tock Cause I really don’t gives a fuck Except when I’m tryin to put her in the book Shit I ain’t sayin nothin Somebody left there load in her bellybutton How you gonna say you love that When her breathe be smellin like somebodys nut sack I outta smack you in your fucking head Should of shot that bitch in the bag with nut stains But you nothin but a pogo tryin to fall in love but you cant love a yoyo She will run and fuck then come right back then I greet her at the door with a smack Cause I’m psycho swingin till you hit her singin I think yous a dumbass bitch In a minute he ain’t even gonna want the shit You needa shut your stuck up mouth Cause your pussy ain’t worth the walk to your house I’m tired of the dooky lies you know your dream about his ugly ass face between your thighs Because you t

Dear Lord
DEAR LORD so far today I've dont alright, I havent gossipped, I havent lost my temper, I havent been greedy, grumpy nasty, selfish, or over indulgent. I'm really gld about that But in a few minutes, god, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot more help AMEN

Dear Santa
Dear Santa All I Want For Christmas Is The Fighting To End That All Over The World Every Nation Can Be Friends That We Be Blind To The Color Of Skin And We Love Each Other From Within That No Longer Will We Have Poverty And That Little Children Won't Go To Bed Hungry That There Be A Cure For All Our Disease And All Of Our Pain And Suffering Will Ease That We Be Filled With Love Instead Of Hate Just Imagine That World Wouldn't It Be Great CHRIS

Dear Santa
Barbie's Letter To Santa Dear Santa, Listen you fat troll, I've been saving your ass every year, being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in December and dressing in fake Chanel at sappy tea parties. I hate to break it to ya', Santa, but it's pay back time. There had better be some changes around here, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown, and trust me, you don't wanna be around to smell it. These are my demands for Christmas 2006: 1. Sweat pants and an oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker in hot pink bikinis. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro up your butt? I don't suppose you do. 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. That cheap-o molded underwear some genius at Mattel came up with looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL man... I don't care if you have to go to Hasbro to get him, bring me GI JOE. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that pathetic bump of a boy toy, Ken. And what was up

Dear Miss
Dear Miss, I ain't never had a problem keeping my man happy, or yours either. You see, I'm the one your lover's sneaking out to see in the middle of the night, hell, sometimes even in the middle of the day. He can never get enough of this pussy, so wet and tight. I hate to toot my horn, but the ass is all that. I can tell by the way he swims in it. Often times he drowns, but that's the part that keeps him coming back. He wants to break me, make me wifey material, but I'm not made to be broken. I break pockets; I break hearts, and then along come the happy homes. "Why," you ask. Aside from the good sex, I do it because it's easy. You sit at home nagging your man, slackin, being shy and timid. You don't do this, you won't do that. I know this because he tells me. Well let me introduce myself. I'm! that bitch who will. You've heard of me. I'm the one your mama warned you about. The best friend all in your business, the coworker getting a little too friendly on the

Dear , Do You Remember?
My sweetheart... Dear, do you remember? The sweep of love's dimension? Of how we sought each other, so We scarce could bear the tension. We'd search among the crowded ways With eager, burning, questing Until the sight, the words, the kiss Would still our world to resting. The time together we would spend Flew swift as swallows fleeing But once alone, the hours dragged by Monotonous, dead, unseeing. Anew, our greetings joyous glee Brought comfort, strength and passion Our love renewed with boundless depths Enthralled us in its fashion. And when we parted, ere the dawn With promised love's bright sorrow The nights were never long enough We swore to stretch the morrow. But then, tomorrow never comes I lie here, bereft and grieving With just the ashes of our love Cold comfort, born of grieving.

Dear Santa,
Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa ***************************************************** Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa **************************************************** Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, w

Dear Friends
I again want to apologize for not showing the love you all deserve but i have been busy most of you know My husband and i are raising five kids and with the holidays here its hectic. So i have only been on is spurts. Please forgive me when it gets a little less hectic i will show you all the love youve been missing Erin

Dear Santa!
Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with. - Santa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead. - Santa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carr

Dear Abby
LETTERS DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Foul Language and Violence On my VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby, Our son writes t

Dear Lord....
They're peeling off the old window stuff here in the office to put up new... The smell is awful.... I now have a blinding migraine and am sick to my stomach. If I start throwing up I'm going home. "Diane, Greg...I have to go home now." "Why?" *bleah* "Oh....okay....see ya monday."

Dear Santa
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe

"dear Santa" From Barbie And Ken
Dear Santa, Listen, you troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list, Santa: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over t

Dear Diary
1/14/06 - 5 days to extinction In case someone ever finds this. I want you to know that I am not really dead. Jason Carter, the notorious serial killer and slaughterer of kidnapped children, may have died on that table, but it was not me. 1/15/06 - 4 days to extinction I cannot stop writing in this thing. To whomever may read this one day. I hope you take it to the public eye. If I have to give back the money, I will. I found something better. 1/16/06 - 3 days to extinction Hollywood paid me to be here. I'm breaking my contract just by writing this. In 3 days you will see me on a table in front of millions. I will be the first ever to receive a lethal injection on live nationally syndicated network television. The entire US wants to see me die for the heinous crimes I have committed. Hollywood is picking up the check for all of your entertainment. 1/17/06 - 2 days to extinction If I'm going to confess, I might as well do it entirely. The biggest problem

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a

Dear Santa Claus......... Lol..
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you

Dear Bin Laden
Mr. Laden, Perhaps you are too young or simply too ignorant to recall an incident in American history. This event took place on December 7th 1941. America was minding it's own business (much as it was on September 11th 2001), when Pearl Harbor came under an unprovoked attack by the Japanese military. There are many similarities and I could go on and on but I'm sure it's above any intelligence you may possess. One big difference is the fact Japan had some guts and attacked a military installation with it's own military. You sir attacked innocent civilians. But then again, how could America expect anything less of a coward such as you? One important thing to remember Mr. Laden, when America's military was nearly crippled it came back to defeat Nazi Germany and Japan. One Japanese leader had a prophetic comment after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That comment was, "I fear we have awakened a sleeping giant." This could not have been truer as history speaks for itself. America

Dear Santa
Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with. - Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead. - Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots or your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and so

Dear Nikki
fill in the blanks bout me. Dear __nikki__, I ____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Abby
Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really ch

Dear Santa
Dear Santa, Snowflakes softly falling Upon your window play, Your blankets snug around you, into sleep you drift away. I bend to gently kiss you, when I see that on the floor There's a letter, neatly written I wonder who it's for. I quietly unfold it making sure you're still asleep, It's a Christmas list for Santa-- one my heart will always keep. It started just as always with the toys seen on TV, A new watch for your father and a winter coat for me. But as my eyes read on I could see that deep inside There were many things you wished for that your loving heart would hide. You asked if your friend Molly could have another dad; It seems her father hits her and it makes you very sad. Then you asked dear Santa if the neighbors down the street Could find a job, that he might have some food, and clothes, and heat. You saw a family on the news whose house had blown away; "Dear Santa, send them just one thing: a place where

Dear Santa
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enou gh to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint Resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television th

Dear Sweetheart
I'm lying on our bed, pretending to be asleep, but you know that I'm just teasing. You run your hands along my hip and breast, and a heat flash rushes up my body, but I move not a muscle in my effort to feign sleep. You unbutton my pants and fondle my Vag, tweaking my clit until its all shinny and hot Still, my eyes remain closed. You bring your lips so gently to mine that you might be brushing my lips with a feather, and at last I open my legs. I can take the wonderful rush of sweet sensationsno longer. I must have have you. I must feel your hot searing cock inside me. I draw you to me and fuck you, and savor our love as you take me to heights i never knew existed Love Alway, Lisa

Dear Santa
Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa ************************************************************************ Dear Santa, I've been a good girl all year & the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ********************************************************************* Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I'd like for my mommy & daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Your dad's banging the babysitter lik

Dear Neighbor With The Power Drill,
I understand that you want to finish installing whatever the hell it is on the wall we share, but it's 9pm and you are making my whole room vibrate (not in a good way). It feels like you are drilling into my skull. Please die. Thank you, Salyx

Dear Wife:):):):)
Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have > > > certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant. Sincerely, Your Husband I'll be home before midnight. When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: Dear Husband: You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore don't wait up. Your Wife ------

Dear Santa
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you s

Dear Baby,
Dear Baby You were wished for, wanted, and loved. Though I never held you, I loved you with a deep love. You died before you were born and our eyes never met. I miss that I never got to see your face or hold your little hands, or nurse you close to my heart. I miss not feeling your movements and if it weren’t for the pain, it would be as if you were never there. But I felt your presence, my dear little boy. And I weep as I write this in honor of you. I’ve had many dreams; dreams of what you look like and how happy you are in heaven. And although your smile was never seen, you have made a profound impact in our lives. You have changed us in ways we never imagined. You have made us want to go to heaven, because I now see that it is the only place where true happiness dwells. We didn’t see your first steps or hear your first word, but your spirit echoes in our lives everyday. Because of you I am a better mother, because of you I’m a better wife. With great grief comes great ch

Dear Lucky Guy
Dear the luckiest guy in the world, I don't know you, All I know is you are the luckiest guy Because the girl who I loved, is your lover. That was my destiny, but don't know why Respect her, please respect her That is all I want from you. As not every person can get her love. Everyone is not lucky like you. I lost myself in her world, Even though I loved her a lot. But what could I do? My words were weaker than I thought. I am still wondering Nowadays how is this life to you? Every second is brighter As a princess said she loves you Do you ever feel sad? I don't think so still I am asking. There is no reason to be sad After you got that much loving. I don't know if you deserve her Because she is the best. But please make her happy, So my heart could get some rest. You are the luckiest guy As her lips said she loves you And here a hopeless guy is still waiting To hear a word; Even if she says "I hate you"

Dear Santa
Dear Santa, I thought I'd write you since I don't think I've done that since I was seven or eight. You know I really believed in you when I was young, even though some of my schoolmates would laugh at me. When I found out you weren't "real", I was very sad. Now I'm an adult and a few years ago I came to a realization that you are real! Now I know that you don't exist as a person in the flesh and blood world per se. You exist in the hearts and minds of children, women and men who keep the magic of love and giving in their hearts. Love and giving, two ideas of the Christmas season that have been lost in the commercialized frenzy that has become the Christmas season. As you know, I know work as a cog in that retail machine that has helped to kill the Christmas spirit and corrupted it into a spending and credit card mayhem. For that I'm sorry and I do my best to bring the light and joy of the season to everyone I talk to during the day. I hope I spread at least a li

Dear God
Dear God, As tears fall from lonely eyes As I hold all the pain inside how I wish you knew my whole story about how I have hurt so many people As all my tears fall, you only wonder why, just leave them be, and let them tell why, I broke heart after heart shattering them into a million there tears fell with mine but I didn't understand why I pushed everyone away when I really needed someone to stay I said I hated you all I wish I could be gone leave this world with no regret and tell everyone they had to push me over the edge All of hate can not be found for all these people that have let me drown, How I wish you knew the rest some day you will but right now lets forget Forget all the pain forget every regret Because im in heaven now with every one else, they all welcome me with open arms And as there tears fall from the heavens, onto the lonely souls below Each one stands, holds there heads up high and says to world I will never

Dear Diary - I Moved To Texas!
Dear Diary: May 30th: Just moved to (your town, Texas) ...Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from the Reservoir lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here. June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun on the water every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper. June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. W hat a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected. July 15th: Fell asleep

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol Current mood: bored Dear Alcohol: First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sau

Dear Love,
this is a piece that I wrote..in the summer while in Hermosa Beach..a friend of mine read it and responded..feel free to do the same AWOL: Dear Love, This letter is long overdue. There area a few things I need to get off my chest. There is so much about you that i realize I may never understand. So much that, I cant find my way. I have done all you asked of me and i am no better off than i was before. Tell me, what have I not done? Was there more I couldve done? Where did I go wrong in your eyes? I feel like i am at a dead end road and my car wont go into fuckin reverse. All I can do is continue to love myself but when will you love me? When will you come and comfort me thru the night? When will you wipe away my tears? Dont get me wrong, I am not upset with you. I just dont understand. Maybe i am not suppose to. You know, thats fine. But my heart is hurting and I am losing the ability to keep up with you any longer. I have reached my breaking point and you are not here to

Dear Diary
DEAR DIARY - PINK Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've done I've been a bad, bad girl for so long I don't know how to change what went wrong Daddy's little girl when he went away What did it teach me? That love leaves Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've done I've been down every road you could go I made some bad choices as you know Seems I have the whole world cradled in my hands But its just like me not to understand Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I've been a bad, bad girl I learned my lessons I turned myself around I've

Dear Service Person...
...that is how my Christmas card was addressed today. It came from someone somewhere. There was no signature or return address, but there was a message. It appeared that whoever wrote the card may have wished anonymity. It is interesting that the Christmas card was sent blindly, obviously to an anonymous troop. It just so happened to come to me. The message was not meant for me specifically of course, but rather it was the person's feeling of all service members in general. I have been chosen to accept the message. And as the message came to me as a representative of the military, my reply is destined to go out not the writer, but to the public. This may be a non-specific reply, but it is meant to be just as personal as this Christmas card is to me now. Dear Citizen, I'm a citizen too. Our way of life is very important to me. It is important that my Mother be able to see her grandkids and celebrate their birthdays. it is important that my brother has the chance to race

Dear Santa Please Help Me
Dear Santa clause, *Im writing you this hour To ask you to come here I really need your help Santa On this cold snowy year* *I dont want toys this holiday No trucks, cars, or planes No bikes, money, or candy For nothing is the same* *Santa, Im asking you for this one thing That on Christmas day To make my mommy be here So that she can laugh and play* *I dont know how much time That she has left with me She says she has to leave soon To somewhere I cant be* I went up to her room She was crying and on her knees Saying god please take her And to take care of me I dont understand Santa Where is she going to? No one will tell me anything Please Santa, I need you Mommy is never happy All she does is cry She puts on this smile though I know she really tries She doesnt want me to see All her pain and sorrow She doesnt want me to know That she might not be here tomorrow Youve always gave me Whatever I pleased So this year Santa just give this one t

Dear Mj....
Dear MJ.... You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Matt...
Dear Matt™.... You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Abby......
Dear Abby, I have been so blessed in my life. Great parents, great wife and kids, great job, and a great education. When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & amp; Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing; she not only refuses to join us, she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife, hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead, she

Dear Santa
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Dear Diary, Love Monica
Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited! Just got a job as an intern at the White House.... and I don't know a thing about medicine. Don't even know what my duties are yet, but I hope it's a "hands on" position. Entry 2 Dear Diary, You won't believe this! I snuck into the Oval Office when no one was looking. But then I dropped one of my contacts. So, I got down on my hands and knees and was looking for it when -- guess what -- the president walked in. He said, "You must be the new intern." That man is psychic! I hope he likes me. Entry 3 Dear Diary, I think the president likes me. Today he dropped his contacts on the rug and asked me to find them. Entry 4 Dear Diary, He really likes me. Entry 5 Dear Diary, I have been sent to the stupid Pentagon to work. It is such a drag. Like they're going to put me in charge of heat-seeking missiles or something. But I still talk to my Bubba-cakes on the phone. He calls me "1-900" Monica." (That means he thinks I'm one in nine hundr

Dear Wife, Dear Husband
I found this on a friends blog on Yahoo and Thought I would share it here To My Dear Wife During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activit! y was not satisfactory because: 6 ti

Dear Wife/dear Husband
TO MY DEAR WIFE: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because: 6 times you just lay there 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling 4 times you told me to hurry up and

Dear Lord
Dear Lord, I thank You for this day I thank You for my being able to see and To hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an Understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing Me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was Not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day With a new attitude and plenty of gratitude Let me make the best of each And every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden My mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong That I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of Encouragement for others. I pr

Dear John Letter
A soldier, injured and hospitalized in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you have been gone, and it isn't fair to either of us. I'm sorry! Please return the picture that I sent you! Love, Becky The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc.In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all of the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies.There were 57 in that envelope along with this note: Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the fuck you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me.

Dear Alcohol..=)
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big It

Dear ......
Dear Fucker.... You are my fuckin friend... And i hope u know thats fuckin true....No matter what the fuck happens.....I will stand the fuck by u...I will fuckin be there for u...... Whenever the fuck u need me....to lend a fuckin hand......to do a fucking good deed...so fuckin count on me....whenever the fuck u need me...fuck, I will always be there.....Even to the bitter fuckin end....send this promise to all your fuckin friends to show your fuckin friendship and watch who sends it the fuck back to u....and if they dont send it back.........FUCK THEM!

Dear Doctor......
Dear Doctor, I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child each year, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are absolutely useless. After getting married I was told to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha. My doctor then suggested we use the safe period. At this time we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work. A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's hardly tastes like Coors, but I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and another child on the way. Another old wives tale was if my wife jumped up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from earlier), if my wife jumped up and down sh

Dear Yung Sykosys,
I _____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this lots of fun!! and you can really make someone's day. Leave them a message after u fill it in. No Homo

Dear John
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: > > Dear Ricky, > I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. > > Love, Becky > > > The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. > > There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note: > > > Dear Becky, > I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. > > Take Care, Ricky

Dear Dad
Upon entering his daughter's room, Mr. Lacy found a note on the bed and proceeded to read it. It stated the following: Dear Dad, I am sorry to have run away, but there is something I must tell you, and I couldn't bare to do it in person. I've decided to run away with Billy (my boyfriend I've been hiding from you and Mom), and we're going to get married. He promises to support me with the food stamps and goverment money he's been stashing away, but assures me there are always other ways to get money in a pinch. He also plans to help me with my alcohol problem, which I've done a pretty good job of hiding over the past year. We plan on raising our still unborn child in the best little beach shack we can find in Mexico - I'm sure it won't be much, but I know we'll be happy together so that's all that matters. I plan on getting there with the fake passport Billy was so kind to make for me. We just hope that he won't get put back into Rehab again for his drug abuse problems.

Dear Lord
Dear Lord, So far today, I am ok. I have not gossiped, or lost my temper. I have not been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card. But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need your help then.

Dear Scratch-off Guy
Dear scratch-off guy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2007-01-04, 6:25AM CST Hey there, scratch-off guy. Funny seeing you again. Seems like every time I stop at my local Quik-E-Mart you are at the counter redeeming your winning scratch-offs. What's that? You won $5 with that batch? Super! Only cost you $15, so that's not a total wash, is it? Now if I could just pay for my soda and stuff...No? Not finished? Well, that's fine. I guess I could hang out for a bit. Man, it really IS hard to pick which scratch-offs you want. I mean, they are all so tempting, and they have those cute little names like Texas Twister, Fat Cash and Bah Humbucks. Oh the decisions. They are all so brightly colored and shiny! I have an idea. Why don't you buy the one called Dumb Fucks? Because that's what you are if you think you are EVER going to come out ahead on your little card-stock gambling substitutes. Wait. I'm sorry. I am just h

Dear Crazy-as-bat-shit-lady: The Fridge Doesn't Come With A Pedigree!
Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady: The fridge doesn't come with a pedigree! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2006-06-25, 8:44AM PDT Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady: I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to. Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following: 1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope. The ad said I was selling a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I selling a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap car don't get marked up. 2. What p

Dear E-mailers,
Dear E-Mailers, -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2006-04-17, 2:10AM CDT I wanted to apologize to everyone who's emailed me over the past several years but has not received a personal response back. With the volume of email I receive every day, it's tough - and unfortunately, Yahoo! and Hotmail don't help matters when they categorize your important messages as "junk mail." So I'm taking a quick moment to respond to everyone who's written me as best I can. My apologies in advance if I miss anyone: * Thanks for all your hot stock tips, but please don't spill the beans by emailing EVERYONE about them! Do you have recommendations for any stocks that I might actually be familiar with? That might be of more use to me since I'm more of a mid/large cap type of investor. * Thanks for your generous free product offers, but I already have an iBook and an iPod. I thought these devices were in huge demand, so stop giving them awa

Dear Lady In The Bathroom
Dear Lady in the Bathroom -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2005-10-11, 11:22AM CDT Dear Lady in the Bathroom: I wanted to reassure you that it's okay to go poo in the bathroom. That's what the bathroom is for. You don't have to wait for me to go into a stall, take off my pants, pee, wipe, pull up my pants, flush, open the door of the stall, wash my hands, check my hair, and then leave before you let that small ball of turd plop into your little porcelain basin. You see, when I walk into a bathroom, and I see someone's in a stall, I already assume that they are excreting something, whether it's #1 or #2. My goodness, it must be excruciating for you to sit there, knowing that you've got a good one turtling (you know, when your poo is kinda peering out to see if the coast is clear), when I or another woman has walked into the bathroom. I especially find it entertaining when you try to make some noise (wrestle with the TP,

Dear Alcohol
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time

Dear Kailey
Dear Kailey , Facing life without you is very hard to bear. Losing you the way I did will always seem so unfair. It’s been nine years since you passed on. But my love for you will never be gone. I never got to see you smile. I never got to hear you cry. But I had some time to hold you close and a chance to say goodbye. The hopes and dreams of raising my twosome was shattered that day. People tried to comfort me in saying “you still have one”. But they don’t understand what happened to you can never be undone. For you can never be replaced and Brandon can never take your place. For he is and you are you. Kailey Ann I wish you all the best and pray you’re at peace in your place of rest with God and the Angels. In the Heavens above where you’re surrounded by ETERNAL LOVE. In Loving memory of: Kailey Ann May 16, 1998

Dear Alcohol,
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian

Dear Sergeant
Dear Sergeant, An Iraqi brought a gun to kill He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great crack. Sergeant, I was a good soldier, I did What I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got promoted fast But Sergeant, when I went on patrol today, I never said See u later, I'm sorry Sergeant, I had to go, But Sergeant, please don't cry. When the Iraqi shot the gun, He hit me and another, And all because the Iraqi Got the gun from his leader. Sergeant, please tell my parents; That I love them very much, And please tell my lady ; my girlfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my twin brother; That he is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now, And tell my boys; That they always were the best; Sergeant, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest. Sergeant, tell my mom; I won't show up for leave And never to forget this,

Dear Military Spouse, Parent, Child
Dear Military Wife, I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for. I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband. I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so. I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand. I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home. I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. And I h

Dearth Of Life
I fall away from you, Can we see through this, Eternal Senslessness? A Lonely Haunted soul, Now my whispers, Drown out my thoughts, Can I keep the hope, Without you here with me? Now I'm torn away, Into Time and space, Now my mortal coil, Rests as shadow soul, My mortality, Fade sweetly away, Crimson newborn light, Timeless soul mourns dearth of life, Tears falling to the floor, Vast eternal war, Within ones own heart, Bringing light to dark, Now I see you here, Light within my fear, Casting me away, Releasing the hate... Now I'm torn away, Into Time and space, Now my mortal coil, Rests as shadow soul, My mortality, Fade sweetly away, Crimson newborn light, Timeless soul mourns dearth of life, Now I'm torn away, Into Time and space, Now my mortal coil, Rests as shadow soul, My mortality, Fade sweetly away, Crimson newborn light, Timeless soul mourns dearth of life.

Dear To Dream
Get your own glitter and more at BlingyBlob.com You may get a lot of negative feedback from others, and so much happens in life to block the road you wish to travel. But you must dream anyway and cherish your dreams as they come from your soul and are the blueprint of who you are. What's more, they represent the direction you should take on earth. Let your heart set your goals and remain dedicated to them

Dear W...
Dear President Bush, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God, marriage is based between a man and woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age

Dear You.
I see you. Standing all alone over there. I know you’re crying. Maybe not on the outside But you are, crying. Let me help you. I want to take your hand Lead you to the safe places. So you can find your peace And learn to smile again. I do want to protect you from all the hurt. Sweet you. Know you’re not alone Not now, not tomorrow Never. I care for you.

Dear Dad
Dear Dad, Yesterday marked 4years that ya had left ya family and headed to heaven. At 2:45pm we lost you. At around 12:30pm we as a family sat around and discussed your options with the dr. that was in charge of ya at the time. We had decided as a family that it would be best to take ya off of life support. As hard as that was we knew as a family it was the best thing for ya. The dr. said we couldve kept ya on life support but ya may have become a vegatable the rest of ya life and we knew ya wouldnt want that. The dr. said ya sustained SEVERE muscle damage to ya heart that pretty much took ya life instantly. We sat around and decided as a family to donate what organs we could of yours knowing that ya would want to help someone else if ya couldve. My heart still hurts like hell not having you here. As we all know though dad ya in a better place now and your not suffering anymore. In the past year I have had ALOT happen to me. As ya already know that. The kids went into fo

Dear Friend
DEAR FRIEND Who you are Is who I've come to know After you as a person Began to grow Looking at you Is like looking in a mirror And what you say Makes my life clearer It seems the good I've done You have always shared For this you know How much I've cared Things with meaning Are constantly in your presence Looking me in the eye We share a similar essence You know my thoughts After just one glance Letting you into my life Glad I gave it the chance There once was a time When you were strong and I was weak But your absolute trust Was what I would seek Whenever I felt small And the winds of change blew My life became significant With the presence of you I have your trust And you also have mine So now I truly know Everything is going to be just fine I have come to know this It will always be very true I seldom question myself Whenever I'm thinking of you I hang on your words Even the littlest of things you say It makes me feel happy

Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating! And since he lost his job seven years ago, he hasn't bothered to look for a new one. All he does is smoke cigars and cruise around with his buddies shooting the bull while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went off to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and he hints to his friends that I may be a lesbian. What can I do? Signed, Clueless Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him! Good Grief, woman, you don't need him any more. You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one!

Dear Ashley,
You dirty little slut, I'll fuck you in the butt. Make you suck my cock and balls. Yeah you like it all. I think you need to bend it over. Make that fat ass move on over. Come on and touch your toes. Duh you dumb bitch I didn't sa your nose. Why you gotta make me mad? Just suck my dick to make me glad. Girl you just don't understand. For this dick you need three hands. hahaha LOVE YOU ASHLEY ~you dirty flitter!~

Dear Dear Diary Please Hear Me Out
DEAR ,DEAR DIARY I'm going to tell you a storyAbout a confused little girlAbout how she was broken inside And kept her pain hidden from the world.Here you'll find extracts from her diary About how she went away You'll find a letter from her mother Written on that sad day.So without further adoLet me tell you about that girl's painThe pain that was invisible for so longAnd is now driving her mother insane.1st DecemberDear, Dear Diary I've been a bad, bad girl I lied to myself and thoughtThat I really COULD take on the world.2nd DecemberDear, Dear Diary I'm doing everything wrong I'm such a stupid idiot To think that I could be strong.3rd DecemberDear, Dear DiaryI don't know who I am Sometimes I think if I went away No one would really give a damn.4th December.Dear, Dear DiaryI don't know how much more I can take Maybe if I ended things nowIt would be better for everyone's sake.5th December Dear, Dear Diary All I do it seems is cry When was I last happy? Why do I wish to die?6th De

Dear Tech Support Help!!!
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and golfing 3.6. I can\'t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I\'m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 ,but the uninstall doesn\'t work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... _____________________________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Crea

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball an

Dear Diary 18/02 - 07
Finally i`m away from Finland. I turned left and arrived to Øuahidri State in Hadramaut. It is a country build on ecological pudding. All the people living there, are called "uncle Christian." All the football teams, named "FC relax now man". All their fish-stores, named "Here are fish" All their playgrounds are filled with rubber. Luckely there are no playgrounds. It s good behavior to kill their children, when they have visitors. They also have other odd customes If you tie your shoelace wrong, you must do it all over again. If you don`t breath, you will choke. If you beat your head with a bat, it hurts. If you wanna shop at wallmart, well please do so, nothing there!

Dearest Friends
Dearet Friends, I wont be on much for awhile atleast. I need sometime to think. I have met some wonderful people on here. I need some time to find my self. My feelings toward my self are not exactly something to be proud of. I feel like i am worthless...fat...ugly...all around not worth while. I need to heal my self to be stronger. For those of you who have my messengers i may be on sometime i might not. For those who have my number call me. Talk to me I need you guys right now. I say good bye now I will come back in time but for now i will only be on to check my cherry tap mail and thats it. ~Samantha~

Dear Diary 19/02 - 07
When i would leave Øuahidri state in Hadramaut i unfortunatly got back to Finland. The time i have been away the anger had grown on me, they took me in captivity and shoot me at dawn. I only pretend that i was dead. When we had exchanged telefone numbers and shoesize, i left for new adventures again.

Dear Diary 20/02 - 07
I write this cling to a penguin. My boat sank, and i had to find something witch floats. I first called the penguin George, then Mike, then Eric and now Eric again. If i am lucky it have a relative in Copenhagen. By the way i think the municipality should salt the icy water, Eric slips all the time. I think i will call him Michael.

Dear Myspace [adult Language]
Go suck a fuck. I mean, really. You're owned by fox, you have bajillions of dollars, youa re raping every person on there of every demographic you can get and feeding it back home, yet you can't code and run a site for shit. Please replace the gerbil in the wheel that powers your server clusters, as I'd like to be able to communicate with a couple of people instead of getting an error on 47/50 clicks or so. Love and kisses, ~angsty

Dear Darling;;
I love you very much =^-^=.SQUEEEEEEEEEEE.I Made my Myspace to be all Robert Smithness! awwwehs!Hehe.Its very kute with the Hellogoodbye band song:Here in your arms. Great stuff. I feel great right now & I noticed something earlyer as well.I only love one person in my life right now & hes my Panda. I hope he knows that,& I know im much stronger & I can get through ANYTHING. Get through the pieces of shits that I have to overcome.Its getting easy for me now.I now Understand completely how to make it.=^-^=For one:Dont get too excited about a guy. Haha only My love. I now know that I need to be with him,& show him how I can do it. 2:Music,Thank god for him showing me the way to the Cure's heart.3:Art,Thank yewh so much Mrs.Edgly. I love you for making me MAKE it. & be something I am. Im going to be famous one day. Just wait. Im getting reconginzed already :] & I couldnt be happyer.ahhhh thank yewh soo much Spencerrrr for everything I love yewh with my heart until I die. :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Dear_______________
I ___ you. You have a nice______. You make me ______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd ________. I want to ______ you. I would build a ______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could ________ under the stars. Love, ______________me (P.S. ______________________________________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this lots of fun!! and you can really make someone's day Message them and dont be afraid to see what people will put in the blank.

Dear Kotex
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during y our period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities t

Dear God!
This prayer that I say tonight Is for my spouse who must fight for you see, he is away from me Keeping his country safe and free This is the one that I love And so I ask you Lord above Please keep him safe while under way and bring him home to me someday While he is gone, please hear my prayer And let him know I will be there Waiting for him upon the pier Hoping and praying with some fear This prayer is not for him alone But for all military far from home I ask you to keep them safe and sound On their way to where their bound We love these men (and women) that are asked to fight So, keep them safe for us tonight.

Dear Ladies (from Us Guys)
Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do. ____________________________________________________ IT MAKES US FEEL SO SECURE TO KNOW THAT OUR GIRLFRIEND ISNT OFF FLIRTING WITH GUYS WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF!! ____________________________________________________ Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends. We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them. When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous. You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust. ____________________________________________________ We don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. ________________________________________

Dear Wife :my Dear Ex-husband
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore...whatever the case is, I'm gone. Your EX Husband p.s. don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving to West Virgina together! Have a great life along! My Dear Ex-Husband Northing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It'

Dear....
i love this guy his name is steven... i know your thinking how could i after what he did...well heres the truth...its not all his fault at least i dont think it is...i do love him but maybe we both were moving everything a lil too fast...he means the the to me to this day and i know that one day somehow we will be together...and i think he knows it too...steven if you read this which i hope you will then i love you with all of my heart you mean the world to me...i cant imagine myself with anyone else...there i noone in the world that means anything to me compared to you...i cant even imagine being with anyone else...please there has to be a way to fix this...we live worlds apart...our hearts feel the same..and i know that what happened will never go away i know how u feel believe me...just please please talk to me more..send me a message something...I LOVE YOU STEVEN ANGEL AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!

Dear....
> > TO MY DEAR WIFE: > > During the past year I have tried to make love to > you 365 > times. > > > I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of > once every > ten days. > > The following is a list of why I did not succeed > more often: > > 54 times the sheets were clean > 17 times it was too late > 49 times you were too tired > 20 times it was too hot > 15 times you pretended to be asleep > 22 times you had a headache! > 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby > 16 times you said you were too sore > 12 times it was the wrong time of the month > 19 times you had to get up early > 9 times you said weren't in the mood > 7 times you were sunburned > 6 times you were watching the late show > 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo > 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us > 9 times you said your mother would hear us > > Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not > satisfactory > because: > > 6 t

Dear Costco Members....
I've been employed with Costco since July 06 and I have been watching and learning about you people since the first day on the job. I've come to realize a few things and I just wanted to share. 1) You're children are the spawn of Satan and it is quite obvious that you do not know how to parent. If you cannot keep them under control please for the love of God buy one of those child leashes. 2) When I come into the warehouse pushing a heavy and rather full bale...do not stop in front of me!! I will only say excuse me nicely once. Next time I will just run you over! The child leash would also be helpful here when your spawn of satan darts out in front of me and I have to throw my little self in front of the bale to stop it from hitting them. 3) Do you know how ridiculous and lazy you look when you get up and leave all your trash on the table?! Especially when you were less than 2 feet from a trash can. Thats ok, I am embarrassed for you. 4) On that note..yes we (Costco Empl

Dear Leah
to my ex friend Leah, if you are out there and read this Leah I want you back in my life, i miss you allot and I adore you I felt bad for two weeks,I will not lie to you ,I will be honest with you I fell for you and I know I come to you for anything you rocked my life yes I have a crush on you and love you. eric

Dear Tech Support,,,,,,,,,,,
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate -------------------------------------------------------- Dear Desperate: First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, While Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 sho

Dear Tech Support ,,,,, (gf Version)
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golfing 3.6. I can\'t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I\'m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn\'t work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... ___________________________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to re

Dear Dreams
My Dear friend,...I know we both care about each other,...But sometimes our reality will not allow us to show it,So we come to each other late at night,In our dear dreams,We do not have to hide,And say and do anything we like,And not have to worry,we run to each other,For then we both say,DREAM OF ME,...And we do.----SWEET DEAR DREAMS,...Til we talk again,...

Dear American Soldier
----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: AMERICAS MILITARY, POLICE & FIREFIGHTERS Date: Mar 9, 2007 7:45 AM Dear American Soldier: You don't know me, but I know you. I know that you are a husband, a father, a wife, a mother, a son and a daughter. I know that you are far away from home. I know that you are putting your life on the line every day. I know about your sacrifices, your terrible working conditions, your dedication and your honor. I know you; I know when you are involved in skirmishes and when you are blown up and when you are wounded and when you die. I wake up with you every morning. You are the last thing I hear about when I go to bed at night. I am in awe of you. I am in awe that you stormed the beaches at Normandy; I am in awe that you fought in the jungles of Vietnam, I in awe that you fight and die in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am in awe of you because you are an American Soldier. The American Soldier is to be respected and honored; th

Dear American Soldier
Dear American Soldier: You don't know me, but I know you. I know that you are a husband, a father, a wife, a mother, a son and a daughter. I know that you are far away from home. I know that you are putting your life on the line every day. I know about your sacrifices, your terrible working conditions, your dedication and your honor. I know you; I know when you are involved in skirmishes and when you are blown up and when you are wounded and when you die. I wake up with you every morning. You are the last thing I hear about when I go to bed at night. I am in awe of you. I am in awe that you stormed the beaches at Normandy; I am in awe that you fought in the jungles of Vietnam, I in awe that you fight and die in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am in awe of you because you are an American Soldier. The American Soldier is to be respected and honored; the debt that I owe you can never be repaid. If I could, I would send you more armor. If I could, I would send your children to college

Dear My Favorite Designers...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make shoes for my big ass feet!!!!! I FOUND THE MOST AMAZING PAIR OF SHOES....YES I almost orgasmed at the sight of them! These are Dolce and Gabbanas....I might die. HOLY SHIT I WANT THEM SO FUCKING BAD. Oh and ONE MONTH TIL MY BDAY! Whatcha gonna get me???

Dear...! Dont Believe Your Eyes
SEEING IS NOT NBELIEVING....SOMETIMESHI DEAR, CHECK THIS OUT ... If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating. It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see ============================================================================================= dear,i know u r my good friend.plz rate this and comment..ty

Dear Abbey??!!
I have heard of some funny shit in my time but this is some of the worst ... I'm sure you all have heard of some "Dear" columns where people write in to get advice ... well get a load of these guys ... Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On my VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling aro

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. Your many dimensions are mind boggling (different than beer goggling, which I'll touch upon shortly). Yes, my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review. 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2am. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal and, though cooking is far from my specialty, why you suggested that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, coupled with pot noodles an

Dear God By Boyz Ii Men
This is a song I need to live up to. Dear God, It's me again...I am so far from where I could have been Dear God, I would be incomplete But you came and touched my life in time of need So I'm thanking you for all you've done And for sacrificing your only son Chorus: That's why I'm writing you this letter To let you know that I love you Thank you for all that I am and for being a friend Lord, my love for you'll never end Dear God, It's Shawn this time...I'm so grateful for the way you've changed my life I'd give all I have, I'd just throw it all away For a chance to walk with you through heaven's gates That's why I'm thanking you for your love and your grace I don't deserve these blessings that you give to me Chorus: That's why I'm writing you this letter To let you know that I love you Thank you for all that I am and for being a friend Lord, my love for you'll never end Interlude: Dear God, As a humble man I come to you like a

Dear Love One
Dear: love one If I'm dead and in the grave, will you still love me? If I look up, will I see the flowers you left above me? When the worms begin to feed again, it feels like when you loved me. When decay becomes my closet friend, will you be thinking of me? I feel so alone since those days are gone when I walked in the sun. I gave up my chance, in the darkness I chant while holding my gun. If I knock on your door tonight, will I be welcomed in? Would you be willing to forgive me of my mortal sin? I finally escaped the whispers and lies in a life where I didn't fit. I brought about my own demise and ended here in this pit. When the moon is full, I can feel its pull and think of the things I missed. Regret is making it hard to think, it's a shame it has come to this. I just can't seem to make up my mind but I guess that I've got plenty of time. In this cold dark place of mine, In this coffin, imprisoned inside, still contemplating my suicide. When the worms move, I will

Dear Tide
Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncarin g husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a g reat produc

.dear.mr.funny.man.
Meems cant say 'tortellini' she says 'torterelli' it amuses me. my tits are covered in cat hair. Poe must think they exist for her rubbing pleasure or something along those lines. so i gave in. turned the ac on in march *sigh* i figure it was 90 inside...n i was sweating...and i dun like sweating unless engaged in something which actually warrants sweating...which of course...laying down watchin a flick...does not. ------------------------------------ so ive been having loads of conversations with one of my favorite people about one of our other favorite people. why? cuz i find it quite disconcerting that one of my favoritest people has decided pod-person-ville is the place he wishes to reside. while there can be many reasons for being taken over by pod people...the only recent development which has made such a change possible is...well lets just call her C...since her name begins with a C and she's also a bitch with a capital C mr funny as we'll call him. has become

Dear Mommy And Daddy
To Jessica and R.J. Don’t be sad For we are growing Don’t be sad For you did nothing wrong Don’t grieve over us because. God has us now You were ready to change your lives for us We were ready to come into the world To wonderful parents you would become The father had different plans Don’t be mad at him We remember the smile that was on your faces When you found out about us And the tears that comes out after the doctor said we were no long alive We may not be there physical on earth We will always be in your hears So don’t be sad Because we are safe from harm Don’t be greiven over us For one day, we will all be together April 6, 2006

Dear You,
Did I just wast years of my life maintaining a friendship through good times and bad? With all the effort I spent trying to be a good friend, being there for you when you asked or needed me, tell me what in the hell did I do? I haven't seen you really for how long? Sure we hung out for what an hour so you could get high with someone then I drove because you were too gone to drive. Then to pick up your boyfriend then my house where I invited you to a party and you flaked. Was it because of me or a boyfriend? And your other "guy" called me and asked where you were because you got angry that other girls were there and left. I didn't call you because 1. if you wanted him to find you, you would have answered your phone for him 2. You told me to stay out of your relationships and I'm trying, as you said It's none of my business and 3. I got busy at work and I'm sorry. I don't know what happened but if your going to be mad at me for talking to your ex, or what ever he is, perhaps you shoul

Dear Mama
Well, today was the 1 year anniversary of my mom's going home. I miss her so much and it is hard to believe that it's been a year already. I tried to go on with my everyday routine, but it was impossible to get the memories from that morning out of my head. I am grateful to have supportive coworkers, friends and family to help me get through the day. Thanks to all of you who helped me get through it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Dear Alcohol...
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-girlfriends/boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball a

Dear Daddy
Why did you leave me? In a world so crue and full of hurt? I neve3r though I would loss you but one day you gave in. and you left me all alone Daddy, I scared and so alone. I tring my hardest but it not good enough I fail at everything I do. How can a army man have such a week daughter. the tears should not fall from these hazzel eyes. for I am a daughter of a soldier. Dad, You said you would never drink if it was not for World War II but your daughter is so week that she drinks just to escatpe the pain and hurt she feels in her heart. Daddy, If you can hear you daughter cry. please come and bring me home to you. I don't want to travel this world anymore. I dont want the tears to fall I want you to be proud of me but you are an army soldier and I am nobody. that the reason you cannt hear my cry from heaven gates.

Dear Idiot Drivers,
Did you not realize that little stick on the side of your steering wheel is known as your "blinkers"? They are used by conscious drivers to signify which direction they are attempting to turn, or whether or not a lane change is going to take place. By pulling this stick down in a gentle manner, you are signifying a left turn signal, by pushing up, a right turn signal. This is not rocket science. Most 7 year olds are familiar with "those blinking lights" and what they represent. Am i to assume you have infantile skills while maneuvering a vehicle on the road? I do understand completely that the MVA, (or whatever it may be referred to where you are) has fascinatingly low standards when handing out licenses. But do you think at some point in your travels that YOU could prove your IQ level is greater than the gallons of gas in the tank? I'm not asking for much here. I don't think my middle finger and profane attitude is what you're looking forward to when you get u

Dear...
Costco Members.... Screw off!!! Andre.... Who the fuck are you?!! Trying to butt back into my life after what you did!! You have no idea if I am doing ok or not...you have no idea about anything!!! So spare me your..."glad to see you're doing ok" you know NOTHING!!!!! Please...please leave me alone! If you know whats good for you you'll leave me alone!! Idiot who cut me off on the way home... LEARN TO DRIVE!!!!!

Dear, Guy Masturbating In The Bathroom Stall At My Work...
Ok, I get it. You had to rub one out. I know the feeling. Maybe it was thinking about that totally hot little minx in purchasing that got you going. Or you got some steamy email from your wife. Whatever it was, you just needed a little release. We've all been there my friend. But if I may be so bold as to offer a few tips? 1. Location Location Location - Maybe it was the bathroom closest to your desk. Maybe it has bigger stalls for more elbow room. But whatever the reason, the bathroom just off the factory floor is not your best choice. It is huge for a reason. There are about 80-90 workers on that factory floor at all times, plus about 30-40 office workers, and there's almost always at least one person who needs to take a squirt. 2. Silence is Golden - While we all might empathize with your situation, NO ONE WANTS YOU HEAR YOU SLAP YOUR SALAMI!! And we certainly don't want to hear the gentle grunts you were letting out. It was like being forced to listen to the audio of a

Dear Cat: Don't Disturb Blinds When I'm Watching Porn
Dear cat, The girlfriend is away for three weeks, and though I am a person of strong will, three weeks is simply too long to bear without working one out. I don't expect you to understand this need as you no longer have your ovaries, but trust me when I say, I NEED to. If you ever took the CAT SATs, you might have seen this example analogy: Getting off = me ........... licking your ass = you. Having established that, I request of you: Please do not disturb the fucking blinds when I'm watching porn! You're a cat, not a dog, so don't give me that puppy-eyed look. You know what you're doing. As soon as I settle back in my chair with some hot chick doing all the things that my girlfriend won't, full-screen, you awaken from a dead sleep and run through the floor-to-ceiling blinds. I often shriek and my hard phallus, brilliantly backlit by the glow of the monitor, falls limp like a rhubarb stalk at the bottom of a Safeway bin. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have an e

Dear Passer-outer
There are a few things I'd like to thank you for: Thank you for wanting to have sex with me. You couldn't, but your heart was in the right place. Thanks for the ego boost. You were really hot and into me... until you passed out. Thanks for making me realize that I am, indeed, a gentleman and that I truly do respect women. A lesser man would have taken advantage of the situation. I know I am not one of those guys. Once you were out, it really wasn't fun anymore. Thanks for the drinks from the mini-bar. You were passed out, naked. And I really needed a drink. Thanks for letting me tuck you into bed. You don't remember, but trust me, it was really cute. Thanks for not vomiting. Seriously. Thanks for the fun time at the bar. In retrospect, I should have taken you back to your room much, much sooner. Thanks for buying shots, all 5 of them. I really enjoyed that. Thanks for being as drunk as I was. Scratch that, you were drunker. But most of all, thanks for being

Dear Lord,
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am, and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope... And though I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet. And may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Dear Diary
>If you read this without laughing aloud, there is something wrong with >you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a >regular workout routine. > >Dear Diary, >For my sixty -fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a >week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am >still in great shape since playing on my college tennis team 45 years ago, >I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. > >I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named >Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and >model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my >enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart >my progress. > >MONDAY >Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well >worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. >She is something of a Greek goddes

Dear Friends
Buried at PhotoCasket.com Buried at PhotoCasket.com Buried at PhotoCasket.com HOPE U ARE ALL DOING GOOD...MISS U ALL...SORRY I HAVE NOT BEEN ON MUCH I HAVE BEEN SICK OVER 2 MONTHS ..,.CAN'T WHAT TO GET BETTER KISSES AND HUGS TO U ALL...;..

Dear Alcohol:
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unfortunate consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big

Dear Alchole
Dear Alcohol: First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatb

Dear Lord
DEAR LORD, Let this be my daily prayer Each day my faith renew. Take me by the hand, Dear Lord, And let me walk with you. Fill my heart each day with love, As I do my daily deeds. Please give me strength for each new day To meet my daily needs. Let me have an open-mind Getting wisdom, straight from You. Let Your light shine out from me In all I say and do. Help me deal with others As You would have me do. Lord, help me think before I speak So Your love in me shows through. And each day please forgive me Of the things that I did wrong. Help me forgive my enemies, By forgiving, make me strong. Help me know just what to do, When problems start to rise. Fill me with Your wisdom, So I'll be truly wise. Mold me into what You want. Fill me with Your love. Help me make this life on earth Like paradise above. Each night as I lay down to sleep Let me hear from You, "Well done." I ask all this from You, Dear Lord, In the name of Jesus Christ, Your S

Dear God, I'm Writing To Say I'm Sorry
Dear God, I'm writing to say I'm sorry for being angry yesterday; when you seemed to ignore my prayer and things didn't go my way. First, my car broke down and I was very late for work. But I missed that awful accident. Was that your handiwork? I found a house I loved but others got there first. I was angry, then relieved when I heard the pipes had burst! Yesterday, I found the perfect dress But the color was too pale. Today, I found the dress in red. Would you believe, it was on sale! I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blest. For no matter what I pray for, you always know what's best! I have this circle of E-mail friends, Who mean the world to me; Some days I "send" and "send", At other times, I let them be. When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent. I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So thi

Dear Cherrytap Friend's And Family
Dear Amiga's..... Peace, What's up friends.. I just wanted too say that on april 4th i will be leaving to Puerto Rico..I decided too make the move out there so i can be close too my folks.It does not mean i wont be around (for the ones that live in the area where i am at now).So i will be keeping in contact with u.I thank u for the love u all have giving me please dont stop..once i get settled ill return the love back.( I will be talking too u guy's soon) This is not a Goodbye..(its a see ya'll laterz) Keep Checking For These Radio Show's http://www.myspace.com/breaktimeradio http://www.myspace.com/massundergroundtunnel http://www.myspace.com/bassboulevard http://www.myspace.com/recordbreakin also be on the lookout for Dj Wreckineyez/NugroundMusic the 3rd Mixtape Called.... Nuff Said (its coming soon) Love Infinity J.O.(NugroundMusic)

Dear Abby
Dear Abby: I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and wou

Dear Abbey
DEAR ABBY: I recently ended a nine-month relationship with a 40-year-old man I'll call Shallow Hal. I was head over heels in love with him. We had a lot in common and our personalities were compatible, but there was one major problem. Hal loved everything about me, but his love for me was contingent upon my losing weight. Hal told me that when I lost weight, he would treat me better, let me meet his family and introduce me to his friends. Until I did, he denied me all those things, including hugs and kisses. For nine months Hal strung me along, and I believed that losing weight would change everything and we would end up together, happily ever after. I am currently working on my master's in counseling psychology, and I should have known better. Clearly, Hal did not accept me for who I was, and I should have ended the relationship long ago because he was not into me. Some days he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married and have kids; other days he did. He was definitely unstabl

Dear Larry Birkhead
Don't get all cocky cuz you fathered Anna Nicole's baby. "I told you so!" All you did was stick your peen in a willing vag. You didnt invent Sunlight. You didnt find a cure for Herpes. You just have strong swimmers. Relax. Now...back to your regularly scheduled nothingness.

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol: First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball an

Dear Friend
As a friend I do wish you The best of life's blessings And freedom from sickness and pain. May your prayers and oblations, As blooms of carnations, Flourish in sunshine and rain. May the blessings of heaven Be showered upon you With favor from God and from man. May you harvest with pleasure The fruits of your labor To share with whoever you can. May the dew in the morning Refresh and delight you, And your days be filled with great peace. May your nights without number Be filled with sweet slumber; Your dreams filled with hope ne'er cease. May your mate and your children Bequeathed and beloved Be cherished as jewels set in gold. May your joy blend with laughter, Both now and hereafter, As the days of your life unfold.

Dear Dad
Dear Dad, This feels a little funny writing to you right now, you've past away 2-1/2 years ago but here are some of the things I wished we could have talked about. First a little background. I was your typical fat kid growing up. I had 3 younger brothers who were all normal ( skinny ). Being a fat kid really sucked, because it's easy to pick on the fat kid, all your faults are on the outside for everyone to see. Most normal ( skinny ) kids faults can be hidden from all the other kids. Not the fat kid. You can't hide behind anything ( no pun intended ). You can't even hide from comments your own father says about you. Remember dad when I was about 10 and you asked me to go look in the closet for your slippers. I do. Like it was yesterday. I yelled out "I can't find them dad" and you said in front of my brothers so you guys could have a little chuckle if there was a roast beef sandwich in there you'd find it. I did not hear this comment. I came back into the room with all of

Dear Nosy Person At Work,
Please mind your damn business. If I'm discussing shoes with a co-worker, please dont butt in. I dont need your two cents. And you have NO room to talk, when YOUR shoes look like Jesus' old gym shoes that you walked throught a cactus patch in. It's called Payless Shoe Source. They're having a Two For One sale...go see about that. And if you dont like me calling you and your ugly shoes out to your face. Mind your damn business. That is all.

A Dear Friend
On Wednesday 11, 2007 I lost a friend and a co worker, they had misdiagnoised him and he thought it was just his liver, but to come reality he had panaric cancer. He served his country in Vietnam,and stood strong when most wouldn't have. Then through out his life he was in various Law Enforcement Agencies. He was 56 yrs old, he ended his career with serving the public in Department Of Corrections. I am going to miss him, already do, cause really he was more than a co-worker, friend he help me get through my dad's death, he took over like a real father and held my hand to the end. This is dedicated to his memory.

Dear Lover - Written January 6th 2007
This is something I rarely do To admit i was wrong But what I am about to say is true I am still in love And the object is your face I just wish i could fix it Go back to that place Where we were together We were free We were the perfect couple There ever would be But I know it's over That time is now done Seems now everytime you see me You run Or perhaps i do Because i am determined If it takes a life time i will make this up to you If it means me out of the picture Out of your life Then it will be done I'm no stranger to a knife

Dear Mr. Pedophile
Lindsay Ashford celebrates his pedophilia and fights for the rights of pedophiles the world over- I wrote this email in response to looking over his website... http://lindsay.puellula.com/Pictures.html he has a section dedicated to young girls (sugar and spice), he prefers ages 7-11 http://sns.puellula.com/Main.html you can find a 4-part interview with him in my stash. As a young child I participated in several relationships with grown men. I complied. I did not cry. I accepted them because I loved them and felt they loved me. The men weren't evil. I knew that then, and I know it now. I have never been to counseling. No one knew about the relationships or tried to convince me of anything. I simply grew up and grew to understand that I had been used by the people who claimed to love me. Think about it logically. Let's say that you're right and a child does wish to have intimate relations. You want a child between the ages of 7-11. You want to "love" them. What about when the

Dear Coachella
I'm so excited that next week I'm coming to see you, that I could throw up. Please excuse me while I strip naked and run screaming into rush hour traffic to celebrate. Signed, Tearing her hair out

Dear.god
Dear God, So far today, I've done all right, and I'm really feeling good about myself for that. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper. I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over indulgent, and I haven't harmed anyone in anyway that I know of. I believe that I've done everything exactly the way you would want me to do, and I'm really proud of myself for that God... But Lord, here in just a few more minutes, I am going to get out of bed, and knowing me the way that I do, from then on I'm probably going to need a whole lot of Your help! Thanks God! AMEN

Dear Cat ...
You know you wanna do it! Dear Cat, I ____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. If there were another chance, you would __________. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Diary
Dear Diary, don't let him know, Dear Diary, keep my secret safe, Don't let anyone know the words upon your page, Don't tell him I care, don't let the feelings show, Don't share my secrets, I don't want him to know, Dear Diary, only one to keep my secrets, Dear Diary, keeper of my sorrows and regrets, I can tell you anything between these hidden pages, My whole life shown in all it's different stages, Secrets of my heart, secrets of my soul, Things that some people must never ever know, Dear Diary, my savior and my confidant, Dear diary, sometimes you're the only friend I've got. Dear Diary, don't ever let my true feelings show, I care more than he could ever know. Closing the cover, I trace your spine, Knowing inside my secrets you bind, Never to be seen by unknowing eyes, Never to be corrupted by life's cruel lies, Dear Diary, back to your hiding place you go, Taking with you secrets that only you know.

Dear Suicide
Here I am once again down and depressed writing to you as I'm dying slowly inside of me. You came back to my thoughts. I thought you were gone but I was wrong. You have been in my thoughts again. I've been thinking of you these past 2 days. Right now I feel I can only turn to you. You're the only one that can solve my problems. You're the only one who can help me and make all my pain go away. Oh Suicide, what shall I do ? I,m so depressed and always thinking of Death even though I'm scared of it. I'm so fed up of everything going on in my life. I want to live but I'm just not able too. I'm too weak. I'm not strong. The pain has taken over me. I've failed myself again. I'm fed up of crying. Fed up of trying and to be happy. I keep my head real low so no one can see the pain that shows. There's nothing left for me to do. The game of life is hard to play but I'm gonna lose it anyway* Oh Suicide, what shall I do ? You're the only one I can turn too.

Dear Sir.
and just like that your life can be broken into pieces. like a bat to a winshield or a stone giving a lake the ripple effect. everything can be shattered in an instant. so easily without any reason not to. simple words can hurt so much although unintentional. empty words are so much worse. i think empty words come from empty people devoid from emotion and any sense of caring at all. just a question...why would someone say something and not mean it? and then the recipricol...why would people not mean something when they say it? it you have something to say then say it. but please dont give me your empty words. those empty words h.u.r.t so much more than saying |nothingatall|

Dear Wife, Dear Husband
Dear Wife, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone! Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!! -------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It'

Dear John
WHY DO WE CONSTANTLY GET TREATED LIKE LITTLE KIDS ON THIS SITE. I THOUGHT THIS WAS FOR ADULTS. EVERY TIME I COME ON HERE AFTER WORK ALL I SEE IS MORE CRAP GOING WRONG AND HAPPENING TO THIS SITE. NOTHING SEEMS TO GET ANY BETTER. ALWAYS SOMETHING DOWN, BROKE, & CHANGED. ALWAYS GETTING ERRORS FOR RATING TOO FAST SO YOU GET BLOCKED. COMMENTING TOO FAST SO YOU GET BLOCKED. RATING PHOTOS TOO FAST SO YOU GET BLOCKED. WHAT THE HELL CAN WE DO ON HERE IF ALL THIS IS TAKEN AWAY? I CANT SPEAK FOR OTHERS BUT MY TIME IS VERY LIMITED ON HERE. I THINK WITH 829,50 PEOPLE ON THIS SITE SOME PEOPLE NEED TO HELP SPEAK UP ABOUT THIS CRAP GOING ON HERE SO WE CAN SEE SOME BETTER CHANGES. WHAT DOESN'T MAKE SINCE TO ME IS THIS GUY KEEPS ADDING MORE THINGS TO THE SITE WHICH JUST ADDS MORE FUEL TO THE FIRE AND SLOWS THE SERVER DOWN EVEN MORE. STOP ADDING WHAT YOU THINK IS SO COOL AND JUST STICK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE. GET A BETTER SERVER AND WE'LL ALL BE HAPPEN. OK IM FINISHED VENTING NOW. THANKS FOR LISTENING JOHN

Dear You...
how does it feel, baby? it hurts, doesn't it? now you know how i felt everytime you'd invite those nasty ass bitches into the room. now you know how i felt when it felt like you didn't care. now you know how bad it hurt. because i know you hurt. i know you're jealous. i know you're upset. and i know you're mad... at me. for the things i've done. but i'm glad you know what it feels like. ps.i'm always going to love you. no matter what.

Dear Fans And Friends
I want to thank those fans and friends who helped me by rating my pictures and profile so I can advance to the next level and display all my pictures from my trip to Europe. There are still other supposed fans and friends who have not taken the time to rate my pictures and profile. May I ask you to take the time and rate my pictures and profile so I can share with you more of my pictures from Europe. I am sorry if I am taking some of your valued time. Again, thanks and I look forward to talking to you all soon. Pete

Dear Ladies Who Take Pics In Bras
Look darlings...it's great that you have the confidence to snap yourself in your brassiere and post it publically. Really, I applaud you. I can appreciate a nice cleave shot! BUT! If you are an A-Cup...just stop it. It's no fun. If you are a B-Cup and there is some space in the bra left to fill...stop lying to yourself, you're an A-Cup, and stop it. If you are a FFF-Cup...Ouch! Email me the name of your chiropractor. Fake Boobs (Silicone or Saline) I happen to like. Some folks don't, I do. Thinking of getting me a pair of those as an upgrade in a couple years...gotta beat Gravity to the punch! Saggy Boobs...*covers eyes* All other are welcome and appreciated.

Dear Daddy
** Ok folks I wrote this a year ago, it was my carthesis really, the epitome of all I was feeling at that time, and well many other times as well . . . I wanted to put it on here becasue it is a part of who I am and what I am working through - so please I am not looking for pity, sympathy, nothing, I only wish to share this with those who care about me and they know who they are ** Dear Daddy, Do you know where you are? Do you know what youve done? Does it bother you to know how much pain you have caused? Did you cry when I couldnt? Did you cry when I finally could? Did you even think about me? Do you know how I feel? How I hurt? How I long to have you here? How my memories are lost and cant be found? How I cry and cant be consoled? How I hate and cant be calmed? How I cant trust and suffer? Do you care? When was the last time you saw me? Twenty long years ago as I walked out the door expecting to see you again in a couple of hours. You knew that was a lie, you knew y

Dear Love
Why does my heart break so? Can you heal my broken heart? I sit on daily basis wonderin why it huts so. Can you tel me why love? Life without you seems to hard to bear without you in it! I feel my heart is being torn from my chest, Love it feels like am torn apart like a torn piece of paper. How is that you sit by love, watching me wither away like rose in the summer heat. My love, I have thought and wondered why you leave me in such a state? I live my very life wondering, if you still love me?

Dear Valerie
Fill this in and send it to me. I ___ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) Repost this as "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" & see what answers you get.

Dear Someone
Dear Someone, Have you looked in the sky lately, Have you noticed how it seems, The stars are driffing further away, It feels even when the sun is shining, That its dark and cold, It is cold and I don't know why, Life is flying by, I just have enough time to notice how much things are changing, A week feels like a day, The nights feel lonely, Even when he was holding me so tight, I want to leave it and not look back, But at the same time I want it all, I'm in a daze and I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm moving forward or moving at all, I stare at the ground, As the shadows cover it, I'm standing in the dark, I don't want to be here, But maybe this is where I just need to be, The world is such a small place, Heaven so far away, But all I can do is live, Maybe I'm wrong to feel the way I do...

Dear Dad
DEAR DAD A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am, but it’s not only passion, Dad, she’s pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’l

Dear Britney...
Five years ago, you were very hot. I mean, smokin hot. I'd do you, five years ago. Now, with the current state of events (f*cked up marriage, two sad kids, shaved noggin, rehab, etc) you are not hot at all. I would have preferred you pose topless five years ago rather than now... http://thesuperficial.com/2007/05/britney_spears_poses_topless.php#comment First of all, take off that silly hat. You need to go buy a NICE wig. Don't pose on rocks with those ugly denim shorts on (at least take them off) and stop wearing those fugly boots all the damn time. Secondly, next time you pose with flowers over your nips, make them pretty flowers. Like Lillies or Tulips. Finally, go take care of your children, please. We dont need more people hogging up all the rehab spots in 15 years. God knows Suri Cruise, Pax Jolie-Pitt, and Scary Spice's kid will need a bed too. Please put your sad little top back on and go about your business... Thanks

Dear Mom And Dad
I was scrambling tonight. My daughter called me and said she was coming to visit. I started straightening up, running the vacuum, throwing stuff out of sight, and something occurred to me - I was excited about my daughter coming to visit and maybe that's the way my mom and dad feel. So as soon as my daughter left I made things right and sent them an email. It didn't take long because I just copied and pasted one I got from my aunt, so 2 minutes and I'm back doing stuff I like. I hope I always have this appreciation of family.

Dear Abbey
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Bryant, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently jailed in College Station, charged with sexual misconduct with three underage girls.I have recently become engaged to marry a prostitute who lives in Austin. All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President? Signed, Worried About My Reputation

Dear ******
when we first met i was so excited.i couldnt belive someone so great was interested in me. the slightest touch from u sent a tingle through my body. when you bit my neck, i froze. i couldnt. belive how comfertable i felt with your arms around me.t hat kiss goodbye was so sweet. after that nite i made sure i was online every morning hoping you would atleast say hi. the gift you gave me made me the happiest i had been in a long time. just sitting with you on the couchwas so sweet. i nver thought you would actually ask me. altough it was weird for a min, i was so thrilled to b your g/f. just seeing you ALWAYS made my day brighter. going anywhere with you was always a trip :). that first (& only) nite we spend together was AMAZING. i loved just laying there in your arms. it was so nice to b wanted. but then i started to c and talk to you less and less/ then one day YOUR friend tells me that us beign together is a bad thing. the next day im told your talkin and tryin to fuck soem other gurl

Dear Mr. President By Pink
Dear Mr. President Come take a walk with me Let's pretend we're just two people and You're not better than me I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud? How do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high? Can you even look me in the eye? And tell me why Dear Mr. President Were you a lonely boy? Are you a lonely boy? Are you a lonely boy? How can you say No child is left behind? We're not dumb and we're not blind They're all sitting in your cells While you pave the road to hell What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away? And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay? I can only imagine what the first lady has to say You've come a l

Dear Girls
Just Becasue You Where Rancid T Shirts Dosent Mean My B/f Wants To Fuck You LOL He Dosent Care That You" Use To Have" Or Want A Mohawk .. And Also Dosent Care How HARDCORE You Are. He Dosent Care How Much You Kiss His Smelly Ass With Comments About His Mohawk,, And Shit. Just Because Hes Punk Dosent Mean Hes A Fucking Pig Like Most Punk Guys You All See On MTV And Read In Your Teenbeat Mags. Use Whatever Cool Terms And Sayings And flash your Tits And Ass, He Wont Even Bat An Eye At You. He Can Smell A Fake Whore A Mile Away! So Save Your Self Some Time And Do Everyone One A Big Fav And Fuck Off To The Next Trend To Piss Mommy And Daddy Off LOL

Dear Jaime!!!
Dear Jaime! I ____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) Leave Me a Letter In My Inbox or on here thanks. And dont just rate this blog without leaveing me a comment as well.

Dear Lynne Rip
Dear Lynne, i feel i have to write this letter because i feel there is no other way to get closure. hopefully one day u will be able to see it. The day you died i didnt know. the day u said u needed me to come over i didnt know it would be the last time. im sorry i ignored u and that i never got to say goodbye. you were like a mother to me and you always made me feel good about myself and what i wanted to do. i wish i coulda been there for the funeral instead of my 21st birthday party in illinois i would do anything to give that all back. i still cry more and more each day because i think that your death was not accidental. i wish i coulda said a thousand things that i never got to say. i think of you every day and i miss you sooooo much i love you lynne and may god guide u like the angel that u are. RIP MOMMA!!! I LOVE YOU

Dearest
My dearest love Where are you? My heart aches With fires of passion. It is as if You are in a far off Land from me. Yet it is quite clear You are near and dear. Come meet me! Come release me. So my heart can soar Like the eagle At break of day. Never forsake Our love For it is like Strong linked Steel And quite real!

Dear Dogs & Cats
Dear Dogs and Cats, When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the objective. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping - they can actually curl up in a ball! It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that stick

Dearest Momma
To all my sweet darling friends that are Moms,,, I would just like to wish you all a wonderful memorable mothersday, and that I'll be drinkin for you guys. hooray!!!!! Your Friend 4 life,,, Roger aka crazyrabbit69 Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from Sexi Luv.com Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from Sexi Luv.com Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from Sexi Luv.com

Dear Daddy
18 years ago you left us....never to hear your voice or see your face again...how i miss you...Jackie is so big now she is 15 and you would have spoiled her beyond belief...you never got to see her or any of your grandchildren...there are 5 now...but wait you do see 2 of your grandchildren everyday don't ya....how glorious it will be when we are all reunited.... Daddy i miss you so much and i want to see you again...to hear your voice, to see you, to talk to you even though you always wondered where my off switch was....i used to watch you sit on the porch with Taffy and play your guitar so softly....and how i wish i could look out the window and see you sitting there 18 years hasn't taken the pain of losing you away...i love you as much today as i ever did....i know that you are in a better place and that you aren't sick anymore but that doesn't help to ease the pain of you being taken away so young...there was so much you wanted to see and you didn't live long enough to see any

Dear Hater
DEAR HATER I WANT THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY PAGE AND HATEIN ON ME JUST WHEN I'M FEELIN DOWN YOU COME BY TO HATE ON ME I SAW THAT 3 YOU LEFT ON MY PIC AT FIRST I GOT MAD BUT I LET IT GO CAUSE I DON'T HATE YOU I DON'T KNOW YOU TO HATE YOU SO I GO TO YOUR PAGE I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU HATE ME THEN I SEE WHY YOU ONE ULGY BASTARD YOUR MAMA LOOKING SHE DRANK A FIFTH OF (OH HELL NAW) CAUSE THATS WHAT I SAY WHEN I SEE HER YOUR SISTER WILL HAVE SET A BEAR TRAP TO GET A MAN, YOUR WIFE HIT EVERY BRANCH OF THE ULGY TREE WHEN SHE FELL OFF TWICE YOU STILL DON'T KNOW IF THE KIDS ARE YOURS ALL THAT GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE BUT YOU FIND THE TIME TO COME HATE ME THANK YOU HATER WITH YOUR HATE I FIND THE POWER TO RIZE AND NOW I KNOW WHY YOU HATE ME SOME MUCH YOU WANT TO BE ME BUT THE WAY I SEE IT YOU GOT IT GOING ON YOU GOT WIFE ,KIDS , STAY AT HOME WITH YOUR MOMS, I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT SO MY LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SEE I NEED AN ARMY TO SOLVE THE CRAP IN MY LIFE B

Dear One
Dear one, I know your heart is breaking and I wish that I might say Some tender word or message that Would ease your hurt today. But words somehow seem futile, For wounds that are deep But I just wanted you to know That in my heart I’ll keep: The prayer of a bluebird soon will bring You fortitude and grace To wing your shattered dreams and leave Sweet memories in their place.

Dear Mr. President
Hey Mr. Bush, you like wars? You like causing innocents pain? Well I could use a shock and awe campaign on my brain. To tame the terror and to extinguish the flames To you isnt terrorism all the same? I have no one to blame, the definition of shame. See Mr. President, we're kinda the same. But I try to refrain from insulting your name, But in the end my efforts end up in vain. A straight jacket, a trench coat, they both resemble insane, But sometimes its the freedom of SOME that deserve the blame. This isnt a game, thousands of bodies have been mamed, But just like me your hands are permantly blood stained. No matter how hard you try, it wont wash in the rain, Our problems wont vanish cause you hung up Hussein. Its bigger than that, this is not about fame, But now we're all "safer" since Bush's army has came.

Dear Mr. President
I thought the magnitude and the simplicity of this is awesome! Cindy Sheehan asked President Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?" Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die in Viet Nam?" Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea?" Another mother asked President F.D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die at Iwo Jima?" Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on the battlefield of France?" Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?" And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son have to die near Valley Forge?" Then, long, long ago, a mother asked, "Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem?" The answers to all these are similar -- "that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness and freedom." To know the wil

Dear Santa...
as you all know: start from the bottom and work your way up! heh. i totally said "dear lard". Captain Le...: "dear santa, i know it's not xmas but if you could do me a favour, that'd be great. can you send cakey a man with a big willy for her b'day. thank you, love legobot" ->Captain Le...: i need all the wishes and hopes i can get! so thank you! Captain Le...: i'll be wishin a b'day humpin on ya. ->Captain Le...: chucks, fucks... i hope i get the best of both worlds... Captain Le...: laughin's good for you and it's nearly your birthday so i think you deserve a few chucks. ->Captain Le...: i'm fucking dying over here.. between you, ian, and scottie? dear lard im spent! hahahahahahaha Captain Le...: i can guarantee you, if i do come and visit, you will not be able to keep your hands of my 'ball head' ->Captain Le...: fine! ball head! Captain Le...: well, i'll have the art work, so ner. ->Captain Le...: im dowloading it for free.... hahaha

Dear ♥
Dear Heart I'm sorry for all the bad things you've felt I'm sorry for the pain you've gone through I'm sorry for just not appreciating Because I couldn't have gone on without you You've taught me how to feel and accept The special love from another You've taught me how good it felt too The love between a daughter and a mother You've taught me that I can open up To my crazy but great family To feel that kind of love in this heart Makes me feel... yes... HAPPY Then you taught me love from friends Who I love sooo true and deep And when I found out who my TRUE friends were You taught me how to weep Yes you taught me pain as well Sadness... sorrow.... and loss I know how precious life is And that life has no cost You've taught me how to give too And to someone that I truly love I remember how it felt like when... He was the only one I was thinking of Yes I felt more pain then too When

Dear God
Dear God: Why didn't you save the school children at ? Virginia Tech Amish Country, PA Columbine High School Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96 Bethel, Alaska 2/19/97! Pearl, Mississippi 10/1/97 West Paducah, Kentucky 12/1/97 Stamps, Arkansas 12/15/97 Jonesboro, Arkansas 3/24/98 Edinboro, Pennsylvania 4/24/98 Fayetteville, Tennessee 5/19/98 Springfield, Oregon 5/21/98 Richmond, Virginia 6/15/98 Littleton, Colorado 4/20/99 Taber, Alberta, Canada 5/28/99 Conyers, Georgia 5/20/99 Deming, New Mexico 11/19/99 Fort Gibson, Oklahoma 12/6/99 Santee, California 3/ 5/01 and El Cajon, California 3/22/01? Sincerely, Concerned Student ----------------------------------------------------- Reply: Dear Concerned Student: I am not allowed in schools. Sincerely, God ---------------------------------------------------------- How

Dear God
Given to my by my friend HollieHottie. Dear God: Why didn't you save the school children at ? Virginia Tech Amish Country, PA Columbine High School Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96 Bethel, Alaska 2/19/97! Pearl, Mississippi 10/1/97 West Paducah, Kentucky 12/1/97 Stamps, Arkansas 12/15/97 Jonesboro, Arkansas 3/24/98 Edinboro, Pennsylvania 4/24/98 Fayetteville, Tennessee 5/19/98 Springfield, Oregon 5/21/98 Richmond, Virginia 6/15/98 Littleton, Colorado 4/20/99 Taber, Alberta, Canada 5/28/99 Conyers, Georgia 5/20/99 Deming, New Mexico 11/19/99 Fort Gibson, Oklahoma 12/6/99 Santee, California 3/ 5/01 and El Cajon, California 3/22/01? Sincerely, Concerned Student ----------------------------------------------------- Reply: Dear Concerned Student: I am not allowed in schools. Sincerely, God ---------------------------------------------------------- How did this get started?... -----------------

Dear Ali
Dear Ali. Dear T.V., I want you to know that I really enjoy watching you. I know that sometimes I can't watch you as much as I would like. But I am writing you to tell you that sometimes I wish you weren't around. Its not that I don't like you, please see above, its just that sometimes I put off things that I need to do because I'm so engrossed in what's going on in your world. Missing out, Ali Dear pills, I know that I am supposed to take you every night because you will help me sleep. I understand that you are only trying to help me. The problem is that when I take you, the next day I am so out of it I can barely function. And then when that passes I crave food so much I am in fear of becoming morbidly obese. Unable to function and pigging out, Ali Dear Newports, You help level my mood swings but I can barely get thru a conversation without coughing. I tried quitting but everytime I get mad I smoke like there will be none of you left at the gas station. I can't help th

Dear God
Subject: GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, "they will not" succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of this year (2007), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings, sorrows, and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I k nocked at heaven's door this morning, God asked me... My child! What can I do for you? And I said, "Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message"... God smiled and answered... Request granted. If you believe this message, send it to seven persons

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol: First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends / girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat at TACO BELL, or SWEET THINGS, or DENNY'S and some cold french

Dear Don
I temporally lost my mind. For this I am sorry, but don't we all at some point in time? I think this is a major downfall in being female for me. Had I been a guy I wouldn't have cared. Would have just said oh well I'll hear back at some point. Eventually, to use one of your words. I hate that word, along with maybe and we'll see. They all take my control away. I miss understood you when you said you were going out. Thought you meant for the night not the weekend and when I hadn't heard anything from you I began to worry. Again it is a female thing, or rather as I like to think of it an Ashley thing. When I care for or about someone I worry about them whether warranted or not. I sat there saying "Why the hell am I texting again? He probably left for the weekend that's why you haven't heard anything." But then the other part of my head would kick in and say "but something could have happened. He wouldn't go out of town without his phone would he? He didn't say he was going out for t

Dear Dr Rob,,,,
Dear Dr. Rob, I am confused maybe you can help me with this. Recently my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. We met when my previous boyfriend and I broke up two years ago, and he was one of the few male friends I could count on. About a month and a half ago we decided that we wanted to be more than just friends and started dating exclusively. Both he and I knew what we were getting ourselves into as far as our issues. I put my cards on the table and told him that if I got wind of he doing anything stupid IE cheating or using illegal substances it would be over, I did not want to deal with any of that. My only request was that if he made plans with me or if something came up that he let me know so I wouldn't be wasting my time waiting, worrying or anything else. Well the problem started last weekend. It was his birthday and he had to work so I told him that hopefully I would see him at some point to give him his gifts and take him out to dinner or lunch or something. He then to

Dear Lexi ; - Fill It Out !
Dear LEXI - You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Friend ...
Dear friend, what's on your mind...you don't laugh the way you used to...but I've noticed how you cry...Dear friend, I feel so helpless...I see you sit in silence...as you face new pain each day...I feel there's nothing I can do...I know you don't feel pretty...even though you are...but it wasn't your beauty...that found room in my heart(Dear friend, you are so precious, dear friend)Dear friend, I'm here for you...I know that you don't talk too much...but we can share this day anew...Dear friend, please don't feel like your alone...There is someone who is praying...praying for your peace of mind...hoping joy is what you find...I know you don't feel weak...even though you are...but it wasn't your strength...that found room in my heart(Dear friend, you are so precious, dear friend)

Dear Baby
I'm not sure just how I love you. Sometimes it hurts me just to say "love." At times, I want to be yours alone, Other times I wish you didn't love me so. I do not wish to hurt you, even if I do. I am not what you need. You must see me for me This time it is final... I can no longer love you...I'm sorry I can't take it anymore. I dont expect you to forgive me Nor do I expect you to beg for me back again. I'm ot saying I dont love you at all. I just dont know in what way I do. Im sorry....so very sorry

Dear Friend And Fans
Im taking a few days off,But i'll be here long enough to take care of rating and giving the thumbs up on stashes. So if you have anything you wanna say hit me up in a message. Til then god bless you all.

Dear Love.....
to whoem it maY CONCern:: you KNOW whO YOU ARE... IM sorry i was not wHAT YOU thOUght i WAS. im SORRY THat i hurt you so BADLY. BUt i deserve to BE happY TOO. AND THAT IS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT . I was not happy STAYing at HOMe i was not hAPpy Stay up all hours for the NIGHT DOING NOthing BUT watching TV. i was NOT HAPPY ALways getting a guilt trip.. and listening to your whoa is me shit..... I WANT a man that CAN keeP UP WITH ME mental... i Want someONE WHO REalizeS WHAt im about... i love you boo. BUT I KNOW that we wouldn't go anywhere.. because i would be the one tyhat wants a better life and the only one working my ass off to get that.. i would not beable to have A FAMILY DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT TAKES 2 incomes to afford it... i was happy for a min and i tried to not lose it.. but my head was louder then my heart... love IS NOT ALL YOU NEED... I DON'T WANT TO LLIVE LIKE A HIPPIE GET HAND OUTS... i want the americA GOD DAMN DREAM...... i want to find my match.. i tried to be

Dear Alcohol,
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests atheart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went t

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests atheart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went t

Dear Editor
Dear Editor: So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry. Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States , people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households a

~dear Sister~
Look up at me and smile, dear sister of mine....... As i walk by push your knife deep into my back. And with my blood on your hands..... Go and take what is rightfully mine! As i stand here, alone, blood trickling down my back..... Come back for more! Smile at me while you take a bite from my still beating heart.... My warm blood runnig down your beautiful pink lips........... Look up at me and smile still. You, who has always had everything given to you, when you asked for it.... Come along and use your power to take the only thing i have ever wanted and needed, in my life. Leave me alone, yet again dear sister. While you are here, come closer..... And rip out my eyes, so i no longer have to see the smile on your face. And my ears, so i no longer hear your wicked laughter as you smile at me. Couldn't you have shown me..... Your sister.. Mercy... And just taken the very breath out of me? ~Patrice~

Dear Daddy
Dear Daddy, Today I paused at 3:54pm. I sat on the very top of a hill at the park here in Kalamazoo. The highest peak I could find. It was exactly at that moment 2 months ago, at 3:54pm that you took your last breath. I watched as you struggled for air after the ventilator was removed. I hated to see you suffer. It was so painful. I know how sick you were Daddy. I listened to your cries on the phone and to the doctors. I sat at the hospital with you around the clock as much as I could. I always wanted to be there for you. I hated the fact that I couldn't be closer these last few years so I could help you at home. I never wanted you to struggle the way you did. You were such a great man Daddy. You helped so many people in your lifetime. Your last days should have been spent with ALL the people you cared about and loved. You deserved so much better than we all gave you. You were one of God's servants on this earth. This is such a pa

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests atheart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went t

Dear Wife / Husband
To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset. I shall be home before midnight." When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: "My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a succe

Dear Friends
My Dear Online Friend.....Got this from someone...It is so true.......Online friends are people we may never meet.... We see pictures, we see cams...It isn't the same.... We grow close...We care and love one another.... One day we may not hear from one another.... Our hearts will break... All we see is a name on messenger but the person we don't see anymore..... We pray....."Please come back".... All I ask is you remember me in the good times we had..... Keep me close to your heart....Friends forever... Pass this on to all your friends....If I get it back.... I know you care.

Dear Alcohol....
Dear Alcohol First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and som

Dear Alcohol,
Dear alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and

Dear Rose
I ___ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a ______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS YOU GET. This is lots of fun!!

Dear Jerk
Dear Jerk, Why did you have to break my heart If you loved me like you said you did. You hugged me and walked away, I watched you get in your car. But too soon was I to know, It'd be the last time I'd see you. I love you, I miss you Why did you have to go? I'd been calling for about a week But you never returned my calls. You came over to see me, I said, "We need to talk." I asked if things felt different to you. You said, "No, why." I said, "maybe it's just me, I dont' know," and it got quiet. Why couldn't you just be a man And tell me how you felt. Instead of acting like a child, Ignoring me all the while. Never again did I hear from you Not even one returned call. You left without a trace And with you, took the keys to my heart. Never did I love anyone The way that I loved you. I don't know what I did wrong But I sure wish that I knew. Then again, let me think. I need to think this through. Maybe it wasn't me, Maybe it was you. Love

"dear Tracy'
Subject: Dear VICTORIA, Message: Message: I ___ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a ______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... This lots of fun!! And you can really make someone's day.

Dear Bob, I Never Really Knew You At All.
10:28 PM - Dear Bob, I never really knew you at all. I just found out what happened. What you did. This amazes me. I am literally in shock, having a panic attack and not even being able to cry. I saw you almost every single day for over a year. No matter how I was feeling, your smile always made my day. We would sit and talk for hours about things going on and you always had the best advice anyone has ever given me. I thought of you not as a customer, but my friend. After I left BP I thought about you a lot because you were one of the most genuine people that I had ever met. I even called you to come help me, because I trusted you. I would not have, for one second, think that you could have done this...to her...to yourself. Reading up and researching I found out about your dark past and just suddenly realized that we had a lot more in common than I thought. This is why you understood me so well. I would never do what you did, but it all stems from that same place. I obviously got

Dear John (x) Too Fuckin Funny.....
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Iraq. So she sends him a very special care package. He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend oral sex. After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce." Now that's a Dear John letter...

Dear Sir....
Shown below , is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity,and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, ---

Dear Dogs And Cats
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret ex

Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... ____________ _________ _________ _______ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYT

Dear Lord Help My Aunt
Prayer to the Angels Holy Angels of the Lord Peace be upon you Blessed are you in the eyes of God Hear this plea, O Holy Angels Be my Guardians Watch over me and protect me and mine Beg God for our safekeeping and for our forgiveness in all things This I ask, O Holy Angels, trusting in the Lord and in you Amen

Dear Friedns, Old And New
hey everyone, due to some things beyond my controll I will not be on tap very much for the next few weeks. sorry to all the love that I not had the chance to give out. but once I return I will give mad love out with avengence, and thank you to whoever bought the blast for me. I donno who to say thank you for but thank you all the same

Dear Civilians,
Dear Civilians, We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: (1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass. (3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. (4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle

Dear Civilians
Dear Civilians, We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: (1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass. (3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. (4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dres

Dear Mom And Dad
Dear Mom And Dad As I Grow, Please .... Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast. It must be very difficult to keep peace with me, but please try. Listen to me and give me brief clear answers to my questions. Then I will keep sharing mt thoughts and feelings. Reward me for telling the truth then I am not frightened into lying. Tell me when you make a mistale and what you have learned from them. Then I can accept that I am ok even when I blunder. Pay attention to me and spend time with me. Then I can belive that I am important and worth while. Do the things you want me to do. Then I have good positive role model. Trust and respect me. Even thought I am smaller thatn you. I have Feelings and needs too, just like you. Compliment and appreciale me. Then I'll feel good and want to continue to please you. Help me explore my unique intrest, talents, and potential. In order for me to be happy I need to be me and not you or someone else you want me

Dear Daddy,
Dear Daddy, How are you ? I just had to send you this letter to tell you how much I love and care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were walking with your friends. I waited all day, hoping you would talk to me also. As evening drew near, I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to cool you, and I waited. You never came. Oh yes, it hurt me, but I still love you because I am your friend. I saw you fall alseep last night, and I longed to touch your brow, so I spilled moonlight upon your face. agian I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk. I have so many gifts for you. You awakened late and rushe doff for the day... My tears were in the rain. Today you looked so sad, so alone. It makes my heart ache because I understand. My frineds let me down and me many times too, but I love you, I try to tell you in the quiet green grass; I shout it to you in the colors of the flowers. I shout to you in the mountain streams, and give the birds love songs to

Dear Nobody In Paticular,
I sat down with a pen in hand to type you a letter, excuse the typewriter. I dont live where I used to because I moved to where I live now. When you come to see me you can ask anybody where I live, because nobody knows. I'm sorry we live so far together, I wish we were closer apart. We are having more weather this year than last year. My Aunt Nellie died and is doing fine, And I hope you are doing the same. She was on the road to recovery, but the doctor gave up on her when she died. I started to Cedar Grove to see you and I saw a sign that said "This takes you to Cedar Grove", I sat on it for 3 hrs. but it wouldn't move. I'm sending you a coat by mail, I cut the buttons off to make it lighter, their in the pockets. If you don't get this letter, let me know and I'll send it to you. The neighbors baby swallowed a pin, so they fed it a pin coushin and everything is fine. Did you hear about your uncles accident, he had his eyes on a seat and someone sat on

Dear Alcohol...
Dear Alcohol: First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and som

Dear Friends
I was just writing to let you know that I have created another account do to some unfortunate mishaps. If you would like to add me my new one is called Mystical Creatures. Thanks for your patience with me and I hope to hear from you all soon.

A Dear Friend Has Passed To A Better Place
I woke up this morning feeling rather good, until I recieved a E-MAIL about a dear friend,{adonis74} his name is Ken. He is on another site that I belong to and this is what i found.{Just lettiing you know that Ken (adonis74) passed away June 3Oth at 8.30pm. I'm trying to message all his friend here to let them know. } I am having a rather sad day today. If there was anyone that could bring a smile to your face it was always Ken.He never ask for anything in return just was always there to say kind words and place that smile on your face.I take it kinda hard when I lose a friend like that so I may not be on-line or talk to much if I am. REST IN PEACE KEN, YOU WERE ONE OF A KIND

Dear Friends And Family
I'm in a morph contest, I need help to stay in the lead, Just one vote and comment would help me out greatly, but you can comment as much as you want the link is below: Thank you very much...

Dear Alcohol:
Dear Alcohol: First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatb

Dear Friends
Just wanted to let you all know why I won't be online much! Ok here goes. I was dating a guy from CT for 4 1/2 weeks. I found out he was a cheater and lied to me several times. I know 4 1/2 weeks is not along time. But thats 4 1/2 weeks I lost meeting other people. I lost several friends cause I was dating him. My choice to be offline more right now then online is due to in part of I found out what a true jerk he really is. I know a few guys are mad, upset or disappoined that I was dating him & I am sorry but I thought there was something there. BOY was I wrong. I still wanna be friends with those who are upset at me. I LOVE ALL OF MY FRIENDS DEARLY!!!!!!!!!!

"dear Life"
"Dear Life" Life's full of superstitions and it's fueled by mere addictions. At times this science fiction makes it look like television. The screen's transparency translates into lunacy and this sea we're swimming in is running deeper than the most profound incision But I'll hold on. Words mark this territory, the dark is not obligatory. When this story ends one day we will shower in its glory. That's why we hold on. This life beckons and I reckon we meet angels every second and when those angels spread their wings...our lives learn another lesson. And even if we don't believe, we still become a better person. So hold on. Live hard but love much harder, don't let pain become your armor: when everything's bombarded…simply smile and know you're guarded. And Hold on. 7.10.07

Dearest Redneck Daughter,
Dearest Redneck Daughter, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot because it took him ! two hours to get me an

Dear Ct Family, Friends And Fans.
Dear CT Family, Friends and Fans, Unfortunately there's been a recent rash of "hate mail" from a few and it's getting to be a bit much. For those of you who know me, then there is no need to explain as you already know my character. Unfortunately some of you don't, so for those of you who don't I will explain briefly. 1.) It doesn't matter how "famous" I ever get, it will NEVER go to my head and I will NEVER think that I am any better than anyone else. 2.) I put "celebrity status" - in quotes too - on my previous blog because that's what I was listed as on the CT site - I never asked for it. They designated me as such. 3.) As for the term Joe Blow, this is a term to refer to ANYONE on the site - including myself. Maybe I should've said John/Jill Smith? Either way, this term was meant to describe the general CT population without a designated status such as "celebrity," "bouncer," or "sponsor." It's unfortunate that a few bad apples, or in this case cherries, are spo

Dear Kotex
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pant liner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual (male) behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back....................... I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess

Dear Husband:
Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me that you love me anymore; you don't touch me anymore. You’re cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife ************************************************************************ Dear Ex-Wife: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that yo

Dear Friend
Dear Friend, When you feel like crying....call me. ! . ! . ! I don't promise that I will make u laugh, but I can cry with you. If one day you want to run away don't be afraid to call me. I don't promise to ask you to stop...... but I can run with you. If one day you don't want to listen to anyone..... call me. I promise to be there for you but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if you call...... and there is no answer..... come fast to see me. Perhaps I need you. ____0000000000______0000000000_____ __000________000__000________000___ _000___________0000___________000__ 000_____________00_____________000_ 000____________________________000_ 000___________THANKS__________000_ _000____________FOR___________000__ __000__________BEING_________000___ ___000__________MY_________000____ _____000______FRIEND______000______ _______000______________000________ _________000__________000__________ ____________000____000_____________ ______________00__00_________

Dear John Letter
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recieved a DEAR JOHN letter from his girlfriend back home...it went like this... Dear Ricky, I can no longer maintain the relationship with you the distance between us is far too great. I must admit to you ive cheated on you twice since you have been gone, and its not fair to either of us. I'm Sorry. Please return the pic of me i sent to you. Love always Becky The Marine, with hurt feelings asked his fellow marines for any snapshots of thier girlfriends , sisters, aunts, cousins etc etc. In addition to the picture of Becky he included the pictures from his buddy's 57 in all along with this note.

Dear Holly/oak King
Dear [Holly/Oak] King, We regret to inform you that your request for an extended lease on your present living quarters has been once again denied, and you are therefore required to vacate the premises by [April 30/November 1] at the latest. We here at Celestial Machineworks, Inc., extend our sympathies regarding your kingdom's recent takeover by the [Oak/Holly] King; however, if we may be frank, doesn't getting kicked in the ass by your brother, every single year since the beginning of time, get old after a while? Please be prompt in moving your personal property so that the Touch-up Crew can ready the place for the new occupant. We regret having to be so pushy in this matter, but you know how the Big Lady gets if things fall behind schedule. We appreciate your business, and we hope that when you visit this part of town again, you'll remember our service and choose Planet Earth as your home away from home. Oh, and if you happen to pass by Hades on your way out, tell him [Demeter

Dear Mom
As a "wee babe," I was unaware of Life's Journey, True Love and the Pursuit of Happiness. As an adult with my own-- "wee babe" --Meredith, I know that: "With God All Things are Possible," Matthew 19:26. My celebration of Life's Journey, True Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness, Has been met with trials and tribulations, And, so has yours. But, in the end-- I have found that within Life's Journey, There are true love and happiness. One must Aim Sky High, To reach one's ultimate goals in life. I have!!! And, the end result is astonishing... I have always known that-- From the day I was born, 'til now, From my head to my toes, You will forever love me, As I do you. And, as you long for my visit, Remember this: I will forever love you-- Because we've made memories, Just you and me, Your daughter

Dear Mr President By Pink
this is my favorite song: the lyrics are amazing please take the time to actually read it! Dear Mr. President Come take a walk with me Let's pretend we're just two people and You're not better than me I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep What do you feel when you look in the mirror Are you proud How do you sleep while the rest of us cry How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye How do you walk with your head held high Can you even look me in the eye And tell me why Dear Mr. President Were you a lonely boy Are you a lonely boy Are you a lonely boy How can you say No child is left behind We're not dumb and we're not blind They're all sitting in your cells While you pay the road to hell What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if s

Dear Dad
I missed you I waited for you But long ago, you let go Forgetful you are, dear dad Why don’t you love me so? I cried for you many nights Dreamed about you too One day you would come back for me In my heart I thought it true I was young and naive, dear dad What else was I suppose to do? Is it too late now If you asked me to be your child For so long now You’ve lived in your denial Was I a regret of yours, dear dad? You left me to drown a while So will I recognize you If I see you on the streets And would it crush you If when we were to meet I couldn’t remember your face, dear dad Therefore it’s you I wouldn’t greet See, it’s invisible you made me I’ve forgotten who you are too And after all these years I must say It doesn’t make me blue I realized in my own heart, dear dad I never needed you

Dear Kotex,
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. This advice was some brain function of a male..right??? Staying active will

Dear Tide
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the rear end. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect! I thank

Dear Housekeeper
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular housekeeper. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Housekeeper ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- Dear Housekee

Dear Meat/deer Meat???
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so begged their dad for the clue. He said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes!!" The little girl screams, " Don't eat it, it's a f**king asshole!!"

Dear Chris
Repost this as "Dear (your name)" and see what kind of answers you get!! You have a cute ________. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________. I want to ___________ your __________ and make you __________! your ___________tastes like ____________. the best part of you is ___________and i wanna _________________you!!!! Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

Dear Civilians...
Dear Civilians, We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: (1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass. (3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. (4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress

Dear God
Dear God" I began, with my face hung down He answered back "Why the frown?" "Why, may I ask did you make me this way?" "What way is that? What are you trying to say" "My body, Dear Lord, My face, it's too square" They are the wrong color, My eyes and my hair. My hips are too wide, My belly too round. When I look at my feet, I can't see the ground. My thighs are so thick, My feet, they stick out. My fingers my toes they are as big as a trout. My eyes are too close, they're in the wrong place . I'm loud sometimes, and bossy to boot, Sometimes I wish I was just born a mute. The Lord, he just chuckled, as if it was funny, "Dear Child, you will learn, thats more than plenty." You're hair and your eyes, those things don't matter. It's the size of your ! heart, and not if you get fatter. You have the gifts that I've given to you. To cheer up your friends when they're feeling blue. You make people laugh and forget all their sorrows. Those are the things that make more tomorrows.

Dear Submissive
Dear submissive, You have asked what it is that I, as a Dominant, would wish for, would desire, would be pleased to receive. And I believe it only appropriate to reply as honestly as I able to such a heartfelt request. I want to know you firstly as a person, someone with a mind, with thoughts, with opinions and with hopes. I want to be proud of you and your achievements, and I want to be warmed by your joy, your happiness and your passion. I want to share hopes and dreams, laughter and tears, light and darkness. At its root, I want our relationship to be fulfilling emotionally and intellectually. Without the ability to be open and honest at this level, we can never hope to be open and honest at a sexual level. I want to know you secondly as a woman, with a woman's desires, a woman's passions, a woman's vulnerability, a woman's need to be held, sheltered and affirmed. I want to know you intimately; your curves, your sensitive places, your melting point

Dear Kotex
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. *Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. *Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess

Dear Santa
Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up some things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I wrote you a letter, I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCK ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE

Dear Lord
Dear Lord I pray but tell me why you don't answer me You answer through power of prayer but I don't here it so clearly I've prayed non-stop for you to end all this pain Elijah prayed once and you gave him rain You don't answer prayers if we ask and our intentions are for our own pleasures I thought that’s why we pray is for you to take away the pain and forgive us for our evil gestures I'm confused; I thought the Bible said if we ask we shall receive Well I've asked and my heart is still feeling the grief I'm not saying I've lost faith, but if prayer makes a difference where is the change I've prayed for the love that I lost but I still feel the pain Things are so unclear to me, you answered my prayer for love but it came blinded by bad timing Then you took him away, so I'm praying for his return but you're not replying I failed the test you gave me and I have many regrets for that So how long do you plan to make me suffer for this act? I've learned my lesson well, now I'

Dear Santa
Dear Santa, You must be suprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occured since the beginning of the month. Filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, a football and tires for my K5 Blazer. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behave better than I, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly across the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch? That you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to

Dear Dishwasher
Dear Dishwasher, In mid February , I adopted you. As soon as I saw you , I knew you were the one for me. So I saved you from the confines of that appliance dealership, and welcomed you into my family. We treated you like one of our own. I fed you on a regular basis. I gave you daily sponge bath’s so you would stay as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. For a while, everything was great, you worked hard, did your job well, and in turn, I gave you your regular Jet dry treats. You were the best dishwasher I’ve ever had. Then, a couple weeks ago, You got sick. I pushed all the right buttons, but it was too late. You drifted off into a non- responsive, catatonic like state. I called the repair man as soon as humanly possible, and he came out the next day and looked you over. You blew a fuse in your control panel. You were put on rest for a few days till your new part came in. When it finally did, he rushed out here, installed your new fuse, and after a long and gruelin

>dear Abby,
>Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently from Curves although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. I

Dear Dogs And Cats
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a sec

Dear Abby---biker Version
Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all? I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her. Anyway, I have never broached the subject

Dear Tech Support
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... _____________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men often complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete W

Dear Ex Wife
*Dear Wife:* *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.* *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. whatever the case, I'm gone.* *Your EX-Husband* *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!* *Dear Ex-Husband -* *Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for se

Dear Wife
*Dear Wife:* *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.* *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. whatever the case, I'm gone.* *Your EX-Husband* *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!* *Dear Ex-Husband -* *Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have bee

Dear Wife...lmao
*Dear Wife:* *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.* *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. whatever the case, I'm gone.* *Your EX-Husband* *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!* *Dear Ex-Husband -* *Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have be

Dear Wife:
DEAR WIFE: I'M WRITING YOU THIS LETTER TO TELL YOU THAT I'M LEAVING YOU FOR GOOD. I'VE BEEN A GOOD MAN TO YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT. THESE LAST TWO WEEKS HAVE BEEN HELL. YOUR BOSS CALLED TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAD QUIT YOUR JOB TODAY AND THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW. LAST WEEK, YOU CAME HOME AND DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT I HAD GOTTEN A NEW HAIR CUT, COOKED YOUR FAVORITE MEAL AND EVEN WORE A BRAND NEW PAIR OF SILK BOXERS. YOU CAME HOME AND ATE IN TWO MINUTES, WENT STRAIGHT TO SLEEP AFTER WATCHING ALL YOUR SOAPS. YOU DON'T TELLL ME YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE,YOU DON'T WANT SEX ANYMORE, WHATEVER THE CASE IS, I'M GONE. YOUR EX-HUSBAND P.S DON'T TRY TO FIND ME. YOUR SISTER AND I ARE MOVING AWAY TO WEST VIRGINIA TOGETHER! HAVE A GREAT LIFE! DEAR EX-HUSBAND NOTHING HAS MADE MY DAY MORE THAN RECEIVING YOUR LETTER. IT'S TRUE THAT YOU AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SEVEN YEARS, ALTHOUGH A GOOD MAN IS A FAR CRY FROM WHAT YOU'VE BEEN. I WATCH MY SOAPS SO MUCH BECAUS

Dear Diary
asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. ass + titys!!!!1 asssssssss titys. as

Dear Lord A Prayer For >today>>>>>> For The Miners In Utah > Andothers And Me>>>
My Lord you have a plan and I understand Ill do what need to be done Lord I pray now that the miners be found its 8 days now they be under ground. hold them in thy arms , help them to know your close and that they will come home ;That thy will be done and family will see them soon. How we need a miricle now ,oh Lord Please I ask in Thy name that they come home ,again to friends and family. soon Lord cause its already been 8 days .. they need So much now and all my Prayers I hope do help; thank you oh Lord for listing to me and all for we know its in Thy hands we bow now and pray to Thee. on their behalf and there families.. thank you again Oh Lord i know life has on gurantees and that you supply all needs you gave a great gift to some to help those suffering and ease pain you gave others gifts too so many things that you do Lord for me your here and watching close even when i seem to be so busy you send me ways to know and wait for me to act on you

Dear Jennifer
My sweet baby girl. How I miss you so much. How I long to hold you in my arms. This has been so hard for me to do. But I know that I did it for the best. I know that you are going to have a better life and never want for anything in the world. You will be a year old in a couple of weeks. I hope that one day you will understand why I did what I did. And I really hope that you don't hate me. Love Always, Your First Mom

Dear Friends
to all my friends im sorry that i haven't been on in a while but i became homeless for a month and didn't have a home so i couldn't get on to say hello but i did miss you all and haop you all are doing fine . now i have a home and my boyfriend got a good job so im back up and running missed you all.

Dear Vietnam Veteran,
Dear Vietnam Veteran, I know I should have written much sooner. I can't say why I did not. Out of fear of admitting to myself, you were there, fighting a war. Or maybe ashamed. Ashamed that I never accepted the things you felt you had to do. Whatever it is, I know how it must hurt. Believe me when I say it hurts me more. I have the burden of your hurt plus that of my own. The pain of not being able to show my true feeling towards you. I am not writing this for the months you served in Vietnam, but for the many years, you were left alone with only your brother Veterans. You served proudly and it went unmentioned. For a long time, I've wanted to express the words. The words an honorable Veteran needs to hear. For a long time, I've wanted to hold you during your times of pain. God knows I wanted to. And only He knows why I never found the courage. I do not remember what I use to say; maybe I do not want to remember. All I know is I hope that it is not too late to give

Dear America
Dear America, This is a wakeup call. No longer can we disregard our seed that will one day grow up to be the trees we need to proceed. While I'm on my knees begging and pleading, there are kids in the street crying and screaming. From the hungry and diseased with no mommy to claim it's needs. To the babies lost at sea, addicted to methamphetamines: Shaking like a feen before its face is ever seen. When will we wake up from this bad dream: Turn our eyes to the sky and start to realize. All the neglect and disrespect must cease before our children’s futures are deceased. Without them there is no us, now is the time to discuss, a strategy we must: Put in to play before the day we lose their trust. While we’re concerned with money and material things, little boys and girls are letting go of their dreams. Never looking past today because tomorrow’s just another day: Don't you see, we are what they need to succeed. We must pick up the slack and make a pact to get our children fu

Dear Ex Boyfriend
(This is the actual letter I left on the kitchen counter the day I walked away) *I wrote several drafts because I am OCD about that* And if any of you wonder why I have too much fun now....this letter displays the last 3 years of my life. Dear *Ex Boyfriend*: For over 3 years, I had cooked your meals, washed your clothes and cleaned up your messes. For over 3 years, I had "accepted" the lack of my own foreplay, yet still licked the fleshy patch that you think are balls, and I had tolerated always being on top because....seriously, you are fat and I got tired of being blinded by your sweat. For over 3 years, I had put up with your children (Who, by the way are manipulative, pathological liars with an EXTREME sense of Entitlement) and I know you don't believe me, but your 13 year old really did ALWAYS piss on the floor on purpose. But you NEVER had to wipe up piss that wasn't yours so I don't expect you to believe me. For over 3 years, I have gotten your beer, yet picke

Dear Abby Article
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20070819/lf_ucda/lovelost30yearsagostillhauntshappilymarriedman;_ylt=AsqVp5DsbO5TZI97ilE.ZbqmG78C DEAR ABBY: I still feel immensely hurt because of a failed relationship from almost 30 years ago. My high school sweetheart of almost four years broke off our engagement when we were in our early 20s. Our lives were going in different directions -- I was going to college and she was partying. Over the years I never really got over the hurt, even though I have been married for 20 years and have a loving family. I finished college and have a great career. Recently the wound was reopened when she reconnected through our high school Web site. She told me about her life, which has had its ups and downs. She now lives five states away. She's happily married but "just wanted to see what I'm doing and how my life ended up." I never returned the e-mail as it hurts too much. How do I get over this, or doesn't the pain ever truly go away? -- ACHING IN NEW YO

Dear Marina..
Dear Marina, My love, I can not stand this. It is almost (but not quite) too hard to be away from you. I am usually okay, but at times like this (especially today) it just seems too much to bear. I can not function today from thinking of you. I just have to tell you, Marina, to share with you that sacred part of my inner, secret life, the thoughts I think that everyone has but does not always say. I know that sometimes pride gets in the way of expressing emotions. I believe that is the cause of my reticence in telling you how I feel sometimes, that and the fact that passion in an extreme state can be scary, you almost just want to shut it away for fear that it will eventually destroy you. (sound familiar?) I think of my feelings, my love for you not with craving or with hope or even desire, but just with a kind of wonder that such things could be. You have opened my eyes to how love should feel. I can promise you this, I will never again settle for less. But, at this time in b

Dear One Who Has My Heart...
Dear One Who Has My Heart, It is in the palm of your hands. Please be careful with my love, for there's not much that it can stand. There's some things i need to tell you; things I think you should know. No matter what, my love for you, will only continue to grow. The love for you that's in my heart, cannot be broken or bent. The beat it takes when you say my name, starts pounding without consent. You mean more to me than anything. I would do anything you asked me to. That's how strong my love is- and all of it's for you!

Dear Mr. President
Dear Mr. President Come take a walk with me Let's pretend we're just two people and You're not better than me I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep What do you feel when you look in the mirror Are you proud How do you sleep while the rest of us cry How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye How do you walk with your head held high Can you even look me in the eye And tell me why Dear Mr. President Were you a lonely boy Are you a lonely boy Are you a lonely boy How can you say No child is left behind We're not dumb and we're not blind They're all sitting in your cells While you pave the road to hell What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay I can only ima

Dear Mr. President
Dear Mr. President,I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, And I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, Mexican President , that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following: 1. Free medical care for my entire family . 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not. 3. All government forms need to be printed in English. 4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers. 5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history. 6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag fl

Dear Anonymous,
Dear anonymous, I’m confused if what I feel is real. Is it lust? Infatuation is this brain speaking or my heart. If it’s my thoughts why do I cry? Why does my heart feel so full yet broken? You have made me realize I need to start living my life for me. I’ve been tarnished. I’m an emotional wreck. Could you handle being with a women that’s a wreck? I’ve been beaten down so low are you willing to help me back up? I’m trying to pick my self up and not to make you have to clean up after someone else’s mess. Or are you going to use my weakness against me. I have to learn the proper way of acting in a healthy relationship. I want to leave my past behind me and start over. Fresh! I want to start out with a Whole heart. I want to be able to give you everything I could humanly possibly give. I want to know your heart feels what I feel. I want to know it’s not just a figment of my imagination. I want to feel you just once. Like you said to know how it feels. I want to be able to kiss you a

Dear Alcohol, But I Still Love You!
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball an

Dear God Have Mercy!!!!!!!!!
Ok.. Have to comment on this because it really bugs me!!! This has got to be one of my BIGGEST psychotic Hatereds!!! I am all for hip hugger jeans and belly shirts. As a male, well.. you know.. I like them. BUT... If your belly and hips roll over your hip huggers by an inch or more, IT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!!!!! It is not SEXY!!!! It is not even STYLISH!!!!! It's just down right repulsive! Just because they make a Speedo in your size, it dosn't mean you HAVE to wear one! The same thing goes with belly shirts and hip huggers! Noone wants to see your rolls and body fat hanging out over you pants. So PLEASE!!!!...In the interest of those that might be eating as you walk by... If your fat rolls out , please don't display it for the rest of us to see. Some of us may have sensitive stomaches.

Dear Diary
Dear Diary, Today he called, sounding so sweet I find myself hoping for the day we meet His voice, so soft and so strong at the same time To hear it in my ear would be so divine I want to trust him, but it's so hard Until I see him and know him I will be on my guard I just pray that to trust him will come to me soon With trust, our love will bloom Give me time and earn your trust And soon it will all be in just I do love Him but why is it so hard to trust him? Maybe because another woman loves Him too? Maybe because her words ring true? Time will tell, soon I will know if hes going on a limb.

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol: First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball a

Dear Morons
Dear Morons: For those who have doubted me Go Fuck Yourself/ For those who never gave me a chance Its your loss For those who used me I hope you enjoyed it For those who lied to me WAS IT WORTH IT? For those who betrayed me how do you feel? For those who think theyre better than me You're right but one day ill be better than you Basically what im saying for those who casted doubt, betrayed me, lied to me and used me id like you to GO FUCK YOURSELF and have a nice day! thank you Karma

Dear Mark
Subject: Dear Mark, Message: Message: I ___ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a ______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... This lots of fun!! And you can really make someone's day.

Dear Diary
I awoke this morning to ponder the whereabouts of my Knight in Shining Armor, my Mr. Right.....My Hero. I know he is out there and that "Everything is as it must be" so I wait. And I got to thinking this morning, as I lit my Marlboro 100, sipped my coffee from my Jack Skelington tumbler and got "small eyes" from trying to stare at the sun for inspiration, that somewhere last night, my Mr. Right was probably in a club in Vegas somewhere taking body shots off of a slut named Heather until he became so intoxicated that he, voluntarily, went back to her little studio apartment with her, right off of the strip. He believed her when she said that she was on the pill so he fucked her without a condom, only to awake this morning to find her ugly ass curled up beside him and on the dresser is a pharmacy of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety pills and a myriad of other psychotropic drugs because she is "BAT SHIT CRAZY"!! In 4.3 weeks, she will discover that she is pregnant, hunt him down like

Dear Tech Support:
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity such as Applications Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golfing 3.6. I can\'t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I\'m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn\'t work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just an Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Gir

Dear Wife Letter.....lol
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone. Your EX - Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Dear Ex-Husband: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your lett

Dear Daddy
Dear Daddy You died in grace You died in peace, You died with a smile on your face You now get to be free. Yet it's hard for me to let you go I try not to cry, But I still do I will not say good-bye to you. I will miss the talks we had Yet I still talk to you now, I will miss all the fun we shared Now all I can do is remember them too. You were the best daddy ever, And in my heart you always will be I know when my time comes, I will see you again. Until then daddy I will miss you, I will cry for you But most of all I will Always love you... For my dad who died Aug.22,2007

Dear Fubar, I Never Thought This Would Happen To Me...
My first time at the gas station- I pulled in to the gas station just as my car gave a final gulp of breath while shutting off from thirst. I gave a small smirk as I reached in my pocket and fingered the twenty dollar bill crumpled there. I knew this would be a very enjoyable stop. Next to the pump, I slowly undo the latch on my car, letting out a damp puff of air as the lid opens, revealing the dark, wet hole to the engine. My hand goes for the pump, ripping it forcefully from the stand, jerking the handle ever so hungrily. Slowly, ever so slowly, I slide the nozzle into the gas tank, the grimy sound of metal rubbing against metal filling my ears. I constricted my grip around the handle. A low cough of gears churning inside the pump, and I feel the gas start to come. Yellowish, clear liquid with a very potent stench flows through the pump's tube and gushes into my tank. The car sort of settles into place as the liquid slowly fills it's tank. And just as it really started to begin,

Dear Diary
DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt t

Dear Winner!!! {{{fake Email Scammed!}}}
Dear Winner Your email were selected as winner.You have won the sum of $1,000,000.00 in cash credited to file EML.26EPG/0012-4426/0905.1/6/27/39/47-1-6. Please contact our European Agent: Rudd Van Bochem euro_lotterygame2007@yahoo.com.hk Mrs Adline Haack, Secetary(Online Co-Ordination) CONTACT E-MAIL : euro_lotterygame2007@yahoo.com.hk

Dear_____________
I ___ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. Love, _______________ (P.S. ______________.)

The Dear John Letter I Got
I cant give something to you that I do not have to give. Cory has always been the one I've been searching for and I just had to get away to realize that I'm sorry for seaming like such an asshole but I just didn't know what to say. I'll get my stuff out when I get back. It's just that I've been tring to find a way to tell you and then I start typing and someone comes in and takes me off the internet cause we have a mission. I really apriciate everything you and your perents have done for me though. I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry for the rocky road I've put you on. Bye

.dear.
It's time to really deal with whatever it is that has been bugging you lately -- dig as deeply as you must. It's almost certain that some aspect of your life could use some tweaking, so get to work! dear horrorscope: i dont like you anymore. tho of course that would suggest that i liked you in the first place... in which case that would make me a liar. suffice it to say... i never liked you... its just more apparent now. please die. horribly. preferrably with pain...lots of pain so i can point...and laugh. no ♥ for you, me

Dear Kotex:
Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantyliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: -Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. -Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. -Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. -Try Kotex blah blah blah other products Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guarandamntee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly re

Dear Civilians
Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: 1. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. 2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass. 3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. 4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniform

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big

Dear Granpa
Well it's been almost 2 months since my grandfather passed onto the next life. I have been refusing to deal with it, for my own personal reasons I guess something about today has said it's time. He lived a good life, he was 92 years old and well passed ready to go and join grandma. I guess no one else was ready for it. And yes most of them were for selfish reasons.But it was not for any of us to chose his time to depart this life. That being said.. Dear Granpa, I know I haven't been the best person I could have been while I was growing up, but I have grown up alot since I left almost five years ago. I don't do meth, or cocaine or any of that shit anymore. I take better care of my boys now then I honestly think I ever have. I know you stood by my side when the rest of the family had given up, and I thank you for that you have no idea how much that meant to me. I know you never liked the religous path I have chosen but it's my path and I never asked for anyone else to believe the w

Dear Mom
Dear Mom, I went to a party, And remembered what you said . You told me not to drink, Mom So I had a sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didn't drink and drive, Though some friends said I should. I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right, The party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight. I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece, I never knew what was coming, Mom Something I expected least. Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, The kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away. My own blood's all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, This girl is going to die. I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, Now I would have to die. So why do people do it, Mom Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives. T

Dear Reader,
Dear reader, I really don't know why I'm writing this to you. But i feel compelled to. I feel i should tell my story, significant or not to the effort of showing juggalo's and lettes are not as we are commonly perceived. I just feel i should write, and maybe you will find it useful. Or not, no difference to me. It will be quite long, so if you choose not to read this, i will have no grudge against you. MY name, to start things off, is Robert N Mclaughlin, also it's recorded as Robert N H Carracci,Robb H McLaughlin, and Robert N H Carraci/McLaughlin. Why i told you that I'm not sure. Anyways, I am 16 years old, and live in a town call Charlemont in western mass. I have only been labeled publicly as a juggalo for 3 years. But it seems I was before i was even conceived. MY mom, grew up in an abusive home. MY grandmother, was an alcoholic, and beat her and her 3 brothers constantly. Her dad, did what he could to help, but sense he wasn't with her mom anymore, and it was the ear

Dear Mr. Bush
Dear President Bush: Noting your second veto denying federal money for embryonic stem-cell research, I thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding morality and God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would not support spending federal money on researching microscopic blastocysts stored at in-vitro fertilization clinics (that which you called embryonic stem cells). Those unused microscopic blastocysts are headed for the garbage can. You properly noted that this research, which shows promise in curing dreaded diseases, destroys those blastocysts. Your "moral" decision not to allow financing that research now allows those same microscopic blastocysts to be flushed down the drain as medical waste. Bravo! I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A c

Dear Dad, ...
Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be b

Dear Dad
Dear Dad, You are no longer here to hug or to give a kiss , Giving you both is something I really miss. I want you to know that I carry you in my heart every passing day and still love you more than words can ever say! I'll continue to hold on to the precious memories and wait til we meet again. For then I'll be with my loving dad and dear best friend! I love and miss you so much dad! Continue to rest in peace!

Dear Me..
Dear me, I am writing this letter, to try to tell myself I deserve better. Dear me, How much more heartbreak can I take will this be a mistake, or a chance I take Dear me, Of all the things Ive done, I try to tell myself he is the one. Dear me, Its the moment in time, I have to step up and fight to make him mine. Dear me , Its a chance I take, and its such a high steak, what if my heartbreaks. Dear me, What have I done to make me think, I could be the one. Dear me, I have to tell him know just how I feel, but I am not sure how. Dear me, You know you want him, Dear me, You know you miss him. Dear me, You know you need him. Dear me, You know you have to tell him right know.. Dear me.....

Dear World
Here I sit, in the shadows of the evening sun. The light is glowing overhead, but still that isnt enough, so I touch the lamp behind the speaker, and slowly with three taps, it too has a bright shine emerging. My speaker is on, but there is no music playing, which for me, is a first. My life could probably be defined using song titles from 80's hair bands. I've been having a rough time lately, and today I read a blog that really touched my soul, it made me want to write this. So while I am no writer, here goes nothing... My Dearest world-- It seems as though the warm embrace I once felt by you as the rays of sunshine poured down upon me are long gone now, and all I can feel is a desolate cold front whisking through you, that eventually seems to settle upon the tip of my nose making it feel as though any facial movement i now make, is in slow motion. However, As I sit in my first floor apartment, staring out the window at the fight, I slowly see the golden leaves begin to fal

Dear Tech Support
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6 I can\'t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I\'m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn\'t work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... _____________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men often complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to d

Dear Friends
As you all know, it takes points to increase levels on fubar, so if by chance you haven't rated my pics and commented.....please do so! Also you can rate the users page for more points and post comments as well. Ok, well have fun ya'll and thanks!

Dear Alcohol
DEAR ALCOHOL First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. Your man dimensions are mind boggling (different than beer goggling, which I'll touch upon shortly). Yes, my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review. Your Ad Here Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2am. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal and, though cooking is far from my specialty, why you suggested that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, coupled with pot nood

Dear Little One
Dear little one, feircly protect the twinkle in your eye. Listen to how you were made because that is where the twinkle comes from. Revel in your God-given unquineness. It is your differentness the world is longing to know. Listen to your calling-the place where your gifts live. Listen to the words fo your own song because if you never hear your own song, you will never be able to dance. ~Mike Yaconelli~

Dear Haters,
Dear Haters, In my line of work I have be taught some very valuble lessons, but the one that is most important is this, " Appretiate and respect you fam, friends,and fans.......but Love your haters!" This rings true in all aspects of life. The people that care for and support you are wonderful to have and mean the world but the haters are the one's that will make you! They are the ones who take time out of there lives for people they know absolutely nothing about to complain and make critisizim! They will tell all their friends about you and even though they are talking crap on you they have now intriged other people about you. Now those other people are going to want to check you out and maybe they'll like you and maybe they will continue the "Hater chain" but either way, there is your exposure! So I just wanted to take the time out to thank all the haters, who have given me and so many other really wonderful people thier time to make us popular and for the many friends we have mad

Dear Supporter Of A Just Foreign Policy,
Dear Supporter of a Just Foreign Policy, Dear Supporter of a Just Foreign Policy, Last week, the scale of the tragic Iraqi death toll was confirmed by the prestigious British polling firm Opinion Research Business, ORB. In August, ORB conducted a poll of Iraqis. Their results indicated that 1.2 million Iraqis had died as a result of the conflict. Like our conclusion last month that over a million Iraqis had been killed1, their results were largely ignored in the U.S., with the notable exception of an article in the Los Angeles Times.2 Yesterday, we issued a press release3 to underscore the striking agreement4 between the two independent studies. Not surprisingly, we received little positive response. But we were particularly shocked by the reaction of an editor at a major U.S. daily: the Cleveland Plain Dealer. We want to ask you to help us respond. ORB is not left-wing or anti-war. Their clients include the Bank of Scotland, the Conservative Party (which supports the war in

Dear Boss
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes m e to contagious diseases. Sincerely, P. Niss The Response: Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You d on't always observe necessar

Dear Mom Letter
Dear Mom, I went to a party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom So I had a sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didn't drink and drive, Though some friends said I should. I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right, The party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight. I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece, I never knew what was coming, Mom Something I expected least. Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, The kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away. My own blood's all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, This girl is going to die. I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, Now I would have to die. So why do people do it, Mom Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives. T

Dear Employees
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the F___ you're doing. 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting B__ch. 3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the F___ do you expect me to do this? 4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasibl

Dear Friends
I just wanted to say Good Morning, and I hope everyone has a good day today!. I finally got up in rank that I have been wanting and today I am going to focus on trying to get back the love that was given, so if I have not fanned or rated you please let me know. Send me an email and I will get back to you..:) So here you go..:) WwW.SparkleTags.Com

Dear Friends
Just thought I'd write something positive for you. People can say some hurtful words at times and it can eat away at you. So as a friend who really cares, I take your face in my hands, and gently stroke your head, and I'm wiping away any tears, and as I hug you firmly but gently, I tell how much I care and love you, as well as wishing all that hurt away ;)

Dear Mommy!
month one: Hi Mommy! I am only 3/4 of an inch long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming qu

Dear Lover
Dear lover, come to me, melt with me Become one with, press your lips to mine Let me look into those deep dark eyes I need this, want this, come to me. The feel of your body pressing, touching Reach into my soul, my depths. Feel the heat in ourselves, our love. Relive this ecstasy over and over again Dear lover, love me as only you can. A touch, a thought, a kiss The sweetest magic only you can bring I feel electricity from head to toe. I love you more from this moment. Dear lover, come to me, melt with me I have waited for this, needed this. I will reach for you as only I can. To hold you, love dripping onto each other. This act, so sacred, so private, so immense. Every inch of each other touching, heart to heart, face to face. Hold me closer, even closer still. Feel my heart beat faster and faster, So fast, I think it will explode. Let's show each other how love can be. Dear Lover, come to me, me with me!

Dear Father..
Dear Father, You're breaking my heart. I wish I could hold my breath long enough to feel my world float away. I hate what you have done and what you have become once again. I hate how I am brought right back to my childhood, but this time there is no where to run. Mom just can't take us away again. I'm old enough now to know what I have to do, but I can't. There is no where to go. I am locked within this prision. I'm tied of crying, and I'm tired of feeling as though I can not breathe. If what you are doing is more important than us than I choose to become extinct from your life. Last night I layed in bed wishing you would die, and today I hold those words with stone. Next time you bring that pipe to your face I hope you choke, and I hope you can't breath, and as you can't breath I hope you see us, and I hope you realize what you have done. I hope you look back and realize how much of a man you are not. It's pretty sad when I have to play mother to my brother because I know he's jus

Dear God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how many times can ONE person play "No Me Ames"?! If she plays that damn JLo and Marc Anthony song ONE more time I'm going over there and beating her to death with the stapler! *ahem* :D

Dear Penis
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, The Penis Dear Penis, After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work eight hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift You don't always observe ne

Dear Fubar Friend's And Family's
Dear Fubar Friend's and family's and fan's thank you for letting be your friend and for letting me rate your pics and comments.And thank you for rating my pics and sending me comments alot too. I like being your friend alot.and would like to be it with you's forever.Thank you very much for having me as a friend and family to all of you's. SexyBitch (greeter of c@cktalis & Dreams aka Krystina

Dear Friends!
A quick note to my close friends. Please forgive me for not being on lately, I recived bad news on thursday. I found out that my cousin who has been in acoma for the last three months was going to have her plugs pulled. My Uncle and aunt Pulled them yesturday morning and she passed away ten minutes later. Now I have some family issues that I have to take care of so I will not be on as often for the next week or so. Please if you write to me or shout at me and I don't respond do not take it personal, I probley just came on long enough to check my mail and respond to those I have already gotten. Thank you all for being my freinds!

Dear Child
Dear Child April Terry Listen to your heart, Dear child. Cast aside your train of thought. The only way throw this, Is but shutting up ones mind, And letting the heart, Seek the freedom, That it shall need. Do not be afraid, Dear child, For I am always with you, Holding your hand, In your time of need, Carrying you, When you’re too weak to walk, Or stand on your own. Stand up tall, Dear child. Walk forward on this path, Show yourself who you are, Proving that with me, You can do anything. For you already know, What happens without me. Listen up closely, Dear child. Your heart is speaking. It knows what it wants, And how to get it, And it shall all be yours. You need only to be patience, And do as it says.

Dear Ex
Dear Ex, Hello Will, How are you? I know it's been a while since I contacted you last. Sorry, I did not return your last call, text or email and no, I was not at home the other day when you popped by uninvited to say "HI"! It's the time of year when most find themselves pondering and remembering all that they are thankful for and when I was doing so you came to me in thought. I just wanted to take a moment and personally thank you for all that I got out of our relationship. You have helped me so much on my way through the different shades of green, brown and weed infested grass that I am so lucky to have made it past! I have grown and blossomed as a person and a lover from what we shared. Oh, don't worry... Not trying to rekindle anything here... No not that at all!! Now your probably wondering... Then why this letter? Why now? I just have a few more things I want to thank you for that's all... Thank you for always noticing when I got my hair done

Dear Alcohol
ALCOHOL Current mood: amused Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls and text messages: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with c

Dear Fubarians....
Fubarbarians... Over the last few days we have been auditing referrals. Many of you are working hard to invite your "REAL" friends to the site and we appreciate it. Unfortunately, there are always a few people who will abuse the system and take advantage of the extra points. Although it may be tempting, please do not set up fake accounts or use bogus email addresses or your points will be reset to ZERO. It doesn't matter how much you have invested into the site! Cheating is cheating and this has been our policy since day one! The best thing you can to is to protect your investment is to play fair and do not cheat. It's really quite simple. Cheating = Reset to 0. Playing fair =:) It is not fair to the rest of the community who are working hard to legitimately refer good people to have to compete with cheaters. Please take the higher road and ONLY refer legitimate people. Also, please read the terms of service. fubar.com Terms of Use Agreement Updated July 17, 2007 fuba

Dear Boys..
I've done a lot of dating rants recently.. and I'm starting to think I've got a grip on the centralized problem -- the talk. So I've gone on a lot of little.. I guess you would call them dates, recently, with some pretty cool and pretty crappy people. It seems like I'm constantly being shoved into "the talk" when its one of those things I avoid at all costs. "The talk" meaning "relationship status discussion." Relationship status? For some reason, people want to discuss this after like, 2 dates. WHAT? Well, since that always makes me twitch, I've decided I'm going to start having the talk with people before we even go on date one. In fact, Im going to blog my side of "the talk" right here for everyone to see, that way I never have to have it again. I'll be on my date and say, "Heres a link. Please call me if you have questions, thanks..." and then I will basically be tech support for my "the talk" website. I'm a genius. Moving on.. Heres what I want. * I do not want

Dear Military Wife (from Unknown)
Dear Military Wife, I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for. I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband. I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so. I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand. I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home. I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. And I have

Dear All...
Dear All Many thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........ I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also,I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason! I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program ..... Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died interstate. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer use cancer-cau

Dear Men,
1.) A REAL MAN respects his mother and places his Woman first. 2.) A REAL MAN raises his kids, not JUST out of pocket either. 3.) A REAL MAN supports his woman to develop herself. 4.) A REAL MAN doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man. Walk in his shoes first and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN. 5.) A REAL MAN doesn't Break Promises 6.) A REAL MAN calls you beautiful, not hot, sexy, or fine as fuck. 7.) A REAL MAN loves you just as much first thing in the morning when your hair is sticking out in a million directions, you have no makeup on, and you haven't showered, shaved or brushed your teeth yet as he does when you're dressed to the nines and ready for a night out on the town. 8.) A REAL MAN CALLS U on a daily basis - NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR TIRED HE IS. 9.) A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about you or what his friends think of you. 10.) A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with you & won't get sick of you. 11.) A R

Dear Daddy
Dear Daddy Why do you hurt me so? Don't you know it breaks my heart Every time I see you go? What's even worse is the waiting For you to come back again. Why do you do this to me? Don't you love me? And every time you leave Mom complains about how You only want to skip out on the support money Is this true daddy? Don't you want to see me? Dear Daddy Why do you lie to me so? Why do you say you want to be with me When you're gone for so long? I hate it when you say you'll call Then don't. Don't you care about me at all? Please answer my questions Bacause I can't do it on my own The only conclusion I can Come up with Is that you wish I was never born. Dear Daddy Tell me this isn't true And that you're glad that I'm aprat of you. Tell me the real reason you do this to me. Explain it so that everyone can see That you really do want me. Dear Daddy Why are you so quiet? You look so sad You look as if you're about to tell me something That could on

Dear John
This is my oldest son John. He is currently serving some time and is interested in some (female) pen-pal correspondence. Any women interested can contact me (comment on this blog saying so) for more information. I will require you to send a letter to me (showing you are serious), which I will forward to him. He will choose who he wishes to reply back to. A 4X6 photo is encouraged, but be sure there is no nudity, drugs, alcohol, or obscene gestures (middle fingers, ect.). I will explain more upon inquiries. Please understand, I DO love my son dearly, despite the unfortunate choices he has made. We ALL make mistakes! Don't even dare to try being judgmental with him or me. You will be wasting your time because my love for him will never be less. I give him my full unconditional love that maybe only "parents" can understand, regardless of of my opinions towards HIS choices.

Dear Heart
i know you don't feel good today i know your love is miles and miles away i know u are bleeding inside longing and yearning to be with him you would do anything to make it happen crying and weaping all the time not able to breathe it feels so cold and lonely like theres nothing left i am sorry you feel this way i know you are broken i know you are shattered i know you are torn to pieces and it feels like no one cares once again i am sorry you feel this way listen well and you will hear him calling out close ur eyes and you will see him look inside and you will feel the love he has that will stand the test of time and be true that's one thing for certain he loves you. **just had to get it out and this is the result hope you guys can understand that i was talking to my heart** comments welcome

Dear Abby,
Dear Abby, I've never written to you before but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'Just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol: > >First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My >friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect >post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the >holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in >the midst of endless family gatherings. > >However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. > >While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I >feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: > >1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is >important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of >substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me >call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do >not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the >night? > >2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest >that I eat a taco with chili sauce, al

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatbal

A Dear Bestfriend Like You
A Dear Bestfriend Like You From the time we became friends I started forgetting the past Because I know I’ve found All the best things in you. We have built a strong bond That no one an defy nor destroy It’s hard to consider mortal enemies before That now is best of friends forever more We also had encountered a lot of difficulties That make our friendship put to a test But both of said that no one must forget Eventhough were taking separate ways. I get confused when you’re getting angry It’s because of my foolish actions I do intentionally But how can you forgive and still love a friend If he always test your patient and push you to danger? Although I try not to cry I find it very hard to do Cause I’m so afraid to lose someone Especially a friend, so dear like you Hope you’ll give this fool another chance To prove that everything I do is true And I hope I can love and care more A true and dear bestfriend like you

Dear Alcohol
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone Calls and text messages: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Ita

Dear Sean
October 31, 2007 7:30 am Sean, Words cannot explain how I am feeling right now. I’m sorry that you think you can’t trust me and for that I feel like shit. To be honest when I said yay about that guy saying I was pretty I was trying to be sarcastic, but that’s kind of hard to do on the computer. I never meant to make it sound like all I want is attention because that is SO far from the truth. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted from the start was someone who liked me for who I was and not how I looked. And maybe someone who would even care about me. I have thought that maybe I had found that person so many times, but I guess I’m just not meant to be happy. Whenever I’m with you or I’m talking to you I’m always so happy that it’s hard to explain. Sean, I really, really like you and I don’t want to lose you over something so stupid and insignificant. You’re the only guy that I want to see and be with. It hasn’t even been a full day and I feel as if I’m spiraling into a black hole

Dear Civilians...
Rules for the Non Military Dear Civilians: We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: 1. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem --- kick their ass. 2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest --- kick their ass. 3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass. 4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. We

Dear Kim,
Fill this out, Copy and send this to my inbox. I ___ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd ________________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. if i could take you anywhere in the world with me i would take you___________. life without you would be like________________. if you died tomorrow my reaction would be___________________. i filled this out most of all because___________________. so now for my final words____________________________. Love,_______________ (P.S. ______________.) REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this lots of fun and you can really make someone's day. Message them and dont be afraid to see what people will put!!!! Have fun