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Not Always Right | I Bet His Computer Has A "cup Holder" TooCall Center | Tulsa, OK, USA
(This is from a few years ago, when I worked tech support for a major satellite TV company.)
Me: “How may I help you?”
Customer: “Is your satellite down?”
Me: “No sir, the satellite is working properly.”
Customer: “Are you sure? Because I’m not getting ANYTHING on my TV.”
Me: “Well, let’s try and get this solved for you. What do you see on the screen?”
Customer: “It’s black.”
Me: “There’s nothing at all on the screen?”
Customer: “I told you, it’s completely black!”
Me: “Is…is there a message of any kind?”
Customer: “Yeah, it says ’searching for satellite signal’. That’s how I know your satellite is down. You need to connect me to a different one.”
Me: “Well sir, just in case it’s possibly something else and not the satellite, could you tell me who installed yo
Not Always Right | Yes, I'm 12 Feet Tall With Horns & Pitch ForkShoe Store | South Carolina, USA
(A customer calls in 30 minutes before our store actually opens.)
Customer: “Do you have [style of shoe] in a size 11?”
Me: “Yes ma’am, we do. Would you like me to hold it for you?”
Customer: “No. I want to pay for it over the phone, and then come pick it up on my lunch break.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t do that transaction over the phone.”
Customer: *yelling* “WHY NOT?! I’ll come in for it sometime between noon and two; it’s for my son, I want to be sure I can get this for his birthday.”
Me: “Like I said, I can hold it for you–”
Customer: “I heard you, but you aren’t hearing me! I want to buy it NOW.”
Me: “I can’t do that over the phone, I would have to see your ID along with your card to verify that it’s yours.”
Customer: “Can’t I just tell you my name?”
Me: &ldquo
Not Always Right | I Sense Another Frivolous LawsuitVideo Rental | Seattle, WA, USA
(A woman calls in, telling me that she rented Good Luck Chuck for her young son’s sleepover without watching the movie first. She showed the movie to a party of young boys, and then had to call their parents to apologize.)
Woman: “I need to know how I can prevent this from happening in the future.”
Me: “Well, if you bring the movie up to the counter, chances are that somebody has seen the movie, and if they haven’t we can point you in the direction of a movie that would be appropriate.”
Woman: “This movie says ‘unrated.’ It should be okay!”
Me: “Actually, ‘unrated’ means that things have been put into the movie that couldn’t be shown in theaters.”
Woman: “What? I’ve seen CARTOONS that are unrated.”
(I assume she’s talking about ‘not rated,’ but decide that telling her that there’s a difference will just make her ang
Not Always Right | Customer: Impossible Part 2Optometrist | High Desert, CA, USA
Woman: “My screw fell out of my glasses. Can you replace it?”
Me: “Absolutely.”
(I go in the back, replace the woman’s screw and bring it back.)
Woman: “This is all wrong.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Woman: “This screw is silver. My screw was gold!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but the only screws I have are silver.”
Woman: “But my screw was gold. This thing is cheap.”
Me: “To be fair your screw wasn’t gold. It just had gold paint on it just like your frames.”
Woman: “How do you know?”
Me: “Well, I looked at the other screw.”
Woman: “I thought this frame was solid gold.”
Me: “I’m afraid not. This is a $120 dollar frame. It’s not going to be made of gold with gold screws for $120 dollars.”
Woman: “Well, can you give me a gold painted screw?”
Me: “I only have silver, ma&rs
Not Always Right | If You Have To Ask, You'll Never KnowCoffee Shop | Canada
(A lady walks into the cafe, i just happen to be standing by the counter with my coworker.)
Woman: “I’ll have *order* please”
Coworker: “Okay, that’s $1.47.”
(I make the coffee.)
Woman: *leans in and whispers to me* “Excuse me?”
Me: “Yes?”
Woman: “What exactly is an ‘Emo’?”
Not Always Right | Three Cents Of NonsenseHotel | Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling guest relations. This is ******* speaking, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, you guys overcharged me and I will accept nothing short of a full refund. This is ridiculous.”
Me: “I’d be more than happy to help. Do you have your confirmation number?”
Customer: “Yes. It’s ********.”
Me: “Great. One moment, please.”
(I look at their reservation history.)
Me: “Okay, sir. So I’m showing you have a reservation arriving tonight. One king bed, non-smoking, booked at a rate of $1297.66. What were you quoted?”
Customer: “I was quoted a rate of $1297.63.”
Me: “So you were misquoted by 3 cents?”
Customer: “Yes. And I demand the rate I was quoted be honored.”
Me: “But it’s 3 cents…”
Customer: “YOU **** corporations! WHY ARE YOU RIPPING ME OFF!?”
Not Always Right | Precision PillowsHotel | British Columbia, Canada
(On the phone…)
Customer: “Hi, I want to book a room with 2 beds for tomorrow.”
Me: “Sure thing sir, lucky for you we’re not busy this weekend and have several rooms available. ”
Customer: “Great, and how many pillows do the beds have?”
Me: “Umm, I think there’s 2 on each bed.”
Customer: “Can you check?”
Me: “Okay….I’ll just be a moment.”
(I go and check the nearest room’s bed and the next room along to be safe.)
Me: “Yes, 2 per bed.”
Customer: “So my room will have 2 pillows on each bed?”
Me: “That’s correct, sir.”
Customer: “I only like one pillow on my bed, can you give me a different room with a bed that only has one pillow on one of the beds?”
Me: “Umm…you could always just take the other pillow off your bed when you go to sleep.”
Customer: “What?
Not Always Right | Son Of Captain ObviousConsulting | Chicago, USA
(Our offices are on the 8th floor of a building. The upper floors are occupied by an art school.)
Student 1: “Oh, wow. The elevators on this side of the building are really small.”
Student 2: “No, they’re not. It’s just their size that makes them look small.”
Me: …
Not Always Right | Fun With HypocritesRetail | Melbourne, Australia
Me: “That’ll be $49.95, thank you sir.”
(Customer takes out his credit card and his reward benefits card from his wallet and pointedly separates them before handing them over. I take the cards.)
Customer: “No, you can’t touch the cards together like that, it ruins the magnetic strip.”
Me: “Oh it’s okay, the strips on these cards are very durable.”
(I continue on with the transaction.)
Customer: “Are you deaf? I said don’t touch them together!! You’ll ruin my cards!”
Me: “Sir, trust me–you could put a strong magnet on these cards and they wouldn’t be damaged. Touching them together is not going to affect them.”
Customer: “Well, the customer is always right, so don’t touch my cards together, okay?!”
Me: “Okay, okay, geez.”
(I make a big show of keeping the cards separate.)
Customer: “The service here is terrib
Not Always Right | Um, Sorry Mom & DadRestaurant | Norcross, GA, USA
Regular at store: “Hey, I have a question.”
Me: “Ok, what can I help you with.”
Regular: “Do y’all have homeless people come in here often?”
(Indicates couple reading news paper in the corner. I can’t see their faces.)
Me: “Umm, no. Why?”
Regular: “Oh, they just came in sat down like they wanted no one to see them and took your newspaper.”
Me: “Well I can’t ask them to leave unless they are bothering you. Do you want me to ask them for the newspaper? I can since they aren’t paying cust–”
Regular: “Oh no, I was just wondering if homeless people came in here often.”
(I look back to the corner again and I can see their faces now.)
Me: “Um, sir, those are my parents.”
(He did not come back for about six months.)
Not Always Right | A Rose By Any Other Name, Part 2Restaurant Waitress | Mississippi, USA
Customer: “Do you serve boneless wings?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do.”
Customer: “Ok, then that’s what I’d like to order.”
(I bring the customer her meal.)
Customer: “Here are your boneless wings, ma’am. Enjoy.”
Customer: “This isn’t what I ordered.”
Me: “These are the boneless wings your ordered ma’am.”
Customer: “No, these are chicken tenders. I want boneless wings.”
Me: “Ma’am, boneless wings are basically chicken tenders.”
Customer: “No, I want chicken wings with no bones!”
Me: “Yeah…those don’t exist.”
Not Always Right | She Uses Google, Part 2Restaurant | Rhode Island, USA
(Over the phone…)
Lady: “Is there a way to see your menu before coming in?”
Me: “Yes, you can google the name of the restaurant and the first link should take you to a menu.”
Lady: “What’s…’google’ mean?”
Me: “It’s a search engine on the internet. It’s at google.com.”
Lady: “Just a sec…” *faintly* “Google…dot…com…”
Lady: “It’s not working.”
Me: “Did you spell the our name correctly?”
Lady: “I can’t even get to this ‘google’ page! Wait… how do you spell ‘dot’?”
Not Always Right | A Nasty Case Of IlliteracyosisCall Center | Akron, OH, USA
(Back story: We had a buy 2, get 1 free sale right after Christmas. The sign clearly said “lowest item free”.)
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy these…” *shows me two $2.99 games for the Gamecube* “…and get this one free.” *shows me a used copy of Halo 3 for $54.99*
Me: “I’d like a million dollars.”
Customer: “I’m serious!”
Me: “So am I, sir. I’m sorry, thats not how the buy 2 get 1 free works. You’d get one of the $2.99 games free.”
Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE SIGN SAYS! IT SAYS BUY 2 GET 1 FREE!”
(I take the sign off wall and reads it to customer.)
Me: “Buy 2 games get one free on all used games. Please note that the lowest priced item will be free.”
Customer: “That’s not what the sign says! I’m going to sue you for false advertising!”
Me: “Sir, I don’t believe you
Not Always Right | Paging Miss CleoVideo Rental | Northern Virginia, USA
Customer: “Do you have that movie with that guy?”
Me: “Which guy?”
Customer: “Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”
Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but if you could tell me which actor was in the movie perhaps I could think of it for you.”
Customer: “You know, that one that was in that movie.”
Not Always Right | Ah, Parents...Sandwich Shop | Rhode Island, USA
(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)
Me: “Hello, this is D-…”
(I hear loud crying in the background.)
Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”
Me: “I…er…what?”
Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*
Not Always Right | Prime Rib With Side Of SadomasochismRestaurant | North Carolina, USA
(As I serve an order of prime rib with a side of mushrooms…)
Customer: “Ohhh, ewww!”
Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”
Customer: “Not really, I just don’t like mushrooms.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I thought you ordered the mushrooms.”
Customer: “Oh, I did. But I just don’t like mushrooms.”
Not Always Right | Gullible's TravelsVideo Rental | Northern Virginia, USA
(A customer walks into the video rental store toward the end of a long, tiring night.)
Customer: “Do you have any movies?”
Me, joking: “Nope, just sold the last one.”
Customer: “Alright…”
(The customer proceeds to walk out of the store.)
Not Always Right | That Darned CatTech Support | Texas, USA
(I work as a computer tech and do in house calls, I got a call one day and went to the customers house to assist with her computer not coming on.)
Customer: “Thank god you’re here!”
Me: “What’s wrong with the computer?”
Customer: “It wont turn on at all, not even the monitor.”
Me: “Okay…”
(I begin to look at it, and it won’t come on at all, the tower or the monitor, so I check the easy things first. I find her power strip unplugged from the wall and plugged into itself. So I plug it into the wall and the computer magically comes on.)
Me: “Okay, your problem was that your power strip was plugged into itself, and therefore did not have any power to the computer.”
Customer: “How do you think that happened?”
Me: “Well, I’m sure your foot got caught up in it and accidentally unplugged it from the wall, and then you saw a plug hanging there later a
Not Always Right | If Only It Grew On Trees, Part 2Call Center | London, UK
(I work in a local government call centre and take calls from the residents about all kinds of things–including education.)
Customer: “Hi, I got your booklet about the school meals and it said I can get a grant for clothing.”
Me: “That would be the school uniform grant. Could I take yours and your child’s details? I can send you an application form.”
Customer: “I don’t have kids, can’t I have the money for myself? I’m on income support.”
Me: “The grant is for the school uniform sir, and it is only available for children.”
Customer: “So I can’t have the money for myself?”
Me: “Um…no.”
Customer: “For f**k’s sake!” *hangs up*
(I wasn’t sure if he wanted the money for normal clothes, or wanted to buy himself an actual school uniform.)
Not Always Right | The Beauty Of A One Track MindRetail | Roanoke, VA, USA
Me: Thank you for calling [Retail Store], what can I help you with?
Lady: “Yes, I was wondering if you had any TV’s that were in your ad.”
*I remember selling the last one a few moments ago*
Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more left in stock.”
Lady: “Why?”
Me: “Because I sold the last one a few moments ago.”
Lady: “Why would you do something like that? I wanted one.”
Me: “Well thats what we do here, we sell things. We may get some more in tomorrow. Your could call tomorrow morning and ask to put one on hold.”
Lady: “Okay, I’d like to do that now.”
Me: “I can’t do that, we don’t have any now. I meant to try again tomorrow.”
Lady: “Okay. The name is Johnson.”
Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have any more of the TV’s that were on sale to put on hold. I don’t understand why you are not grasping that. W
Not Always Right | If You Cannot Beat Them, Join ThemPaint Desk | Tampa, FL, USA
Customer: “Uh, yes, I need the grey paint for the carpet. Which one is best for the carpet?”
Me: “Sir, we do not have a paint for carpet.”
Customer: “Yes, yes. No…no. You do not understand…see, I need to paint carpet, yes? You tell me which one. Yes, yes?”
Me: “Sir, like I said, it is not advisable to paint your carpet. It will harden and you will not be able to remove it, so I cannot recommend a product at this time.”
Customer: “No, no, you see wrong. I paint floor of car. It is very cheap, I like to paint the carpet, it is cheap, yes? So which one, which one?”
Me: “Sir, I don’t think you understand me when I tell you that it is not possible to spray paint carpet. You may dye it, or you may try to remove the stain. I could show you where–”
*customer cuts me off*
Customer: “No, no, you see, I need paint. For carpet, yes? And you show me which one
Not Always Right | Hey Look, It's Raining ChangeRetail | Waterford, CT, USA
(A lady walks in with a bunch of change in her hands.)
Lady: “Can you give me a dollar bill for all this change?”
Me: “Sorry, it’s against company policy to open the register unless I am making a sale.”
Lady: “But you just opened the register for that kid.”
Me: “Yes, because I was making a sale.”
Lady: “This is bulls**t. You aren’t helping me because I’m Hispanic!”
*starts swearing at me in Spanish and English*
Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”
*lady continues yelling*
Me: “Have a good day.”
*lady is still yelling*
Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”
(The lady is about two feet away from me and throws all of her coins at me. I didn’t move because I was in shock. She managed to not hit me with one single coin.)
Me: “Ma’am, you dropped your change.”
Not Always Right | An Honest CrookBookstore | Toronto, ON, Canada
(I work in the music section of a bookstore. One day, we caught one of our regulars shoplifting and banned him. The very next day, he walks in as if nothing happened.)
Me: “Dude, you aren’t allowed to be here. You were banned.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “You stole a CD from me.”
Customer: “But I gave it back!”
Not Always Right | Good Because Beagles Don't Like FridgesRetail | Chicago, IL, USA
(This guy with a thick Bosnian accent comes up to me.)
Customer: “I am looking for beekels.”
Me: “Beekels?”
Customer: “Okay…”
(I show him where are the bagels are.)
Customer: “No, Not bread. Beekles.”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “The kind you put in fridge.”
Me: “Oh.”
(I go to the freezers and show him the frozen bagels.)
Customer: “NO! NOT BREAD! BEEKLES!”
Me: “I can’t…I don’t know…uh…”
(He walks away. A few Aisles away he sees it and picks up.)
Customer: “This is what I was looking for.”
Me: “Oh, pickles…”
Not Always Right | Fun Things To Do On Your Last DayCall Center | San Antonio, TX, USA
(My friend worked in the phone service department of an undergarment company. One day he got a call from an unhappy woman. We’ll call him David.)
Customer: “Yes, I’m calling to see why my order hasn’t arrived yet.”
David: “Could you please give me some information about your order?”
(The customer then goes on to inform him that her gargantuan pair of panties designated by untold numbers of X’s have yet to arrive and she’s very upset.)
David: “Well you see ma’am, the cargo plane that your panties were on lost power and the pilot had to use them to parachute to safety.”
(The customer did not have a sense of humor. David was promptly fired. True Story.)
Not Always Right | And This Was Before He Got DrunkBartender | Cardiff, Wales, UK
Customer, looking directly at the draught: “What have you got on tap?”
Me: “We have Stella, Staropramen, Becks Vier, Leffe, Hoegaarden, Franziskaner and Guiness on tap, sir.”
Customer: *sighs* “Have you got Carling?”
Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”
(I run through everything on tap again, slightly slower, and clearer this time.)
Customer: “No Budweiser?”
Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”
(Again I list everything on draught.)
Customer: “Oh, I suppose I’ll just have a Kronenberg then.”
Me: “I’m afraid we don’t stock that product, sir.”
Customer: “Sorry, I meant a Fosters.”
Me: *deep breath* “I apologise once again sir, but we don’t serve Fosters. We only serve…”
(I run through the draught again.)
Customer: “Okay, okay…bloody hell, I’m not stupid you know!”
Not Always Right | An Expensive Temper TantrumPet Store | Arkansas, USA
(I was cashiering and couldn’t help but overhear a woman screaming and waving her receipt at my Store Director in front of the exit/entrance to the store.)
Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came to see if the food I buy is cheaper than at [competitor] and it is. But they always give me a free bag after I get a certain amount of points!”
Director: “I know they do. But we aren’t them, we simply don’t do that.”
Customer: “Well why not?!”
Director: “We just don’t. It’s not my decision to make.”
Customer: “UGH!” *rips up the receipt and throws it in the directors face* “FINE THEN, I’LL BUY FROM [competitor] INSTEAD!!”
Director: “Okay, have a nice day!” *waves pleasantly and walks over to me to give me change that I needed*
Me: “Did she just leave without getting a refund for those five 40 lb. bags of dog food?”
(Note: this co
Not Always Right | Insert Karate Stereotype HereRestaurant | Lincoln, NE, USA
Customer: “Miss, do you serve Chinese food at this restaurant?”
Me: “Um…no, we serve mainly bar food, hamburgers and that sort of thing.”
Customer, irritated and skeptical, points at one of the servers: “Yeah, but he’s Chinese.”
Not Always Right | How Nicknames Are BornRetail | Tampa, FL, USA
(An intensely inebriated individual entered our store with two women in tow, one pushing a baby carriage, wearing a jordan jersey, sunglasses, and sporting gold fronts.)
Customer: “CRACKAS STINK! THIS STORE STINKS! CRACKA STORE STINKS!”
Me: *falls over laughing*
Customer: “GOOD LORD IT STINKS! SHE GOT PURPLE HAIR, I BET IT STINKS!”
Women with him: “Shut up! Shut up! I’m sorry, he doesn’t–SHUT UP! ”
Me: *rolls around with glee*
Customer: “STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!”
(And from then on I am known as stinky hair.)
Not Always Right | Shall We Send In The Marines Too?Jewelry/Watch Repair Shop | Lewisville, TX, USA
(We had sent this lady’s watch to another company, and they ended up taking a very long time with it. Two weeks before this incident she called demanding that we call them and have them send her watch back whether it was fixed or not. My manager told her that it would only take two more days, but she insisted. This happened when she came to pick it up.)
Assistant Manager: “Okay, here’s your watch, I’m sorry about that.”
Customer: “It’s not fixed!”
Assistant Manager: “Yes, you told us to call them and have them send it back whether it was fixed or not. They were almost done making a new dial for it.”
Customer: (Ranting) “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE! YOU ARE SO RUDE. I’M CALLING MY LAWYER!”
Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am that’s all I can do.”
Customer begins to walk off, still ranting: “I’M CALLING MY L
Not Always Right | I Goes To SchoolRetail | Baltimore, MD, USA
(A girl in her late teens approaches me holding a t-shirt, turning it over in her hands, apparently searching for defects or blemishes in the material.)
Customer: “Do you have any of these that are new?”
Me: “I’m sorry? They’re all new.”
Customer: “No, this one is used. I want a new one.”
(I take the shirt and inspect it, finding it to be in perfect order.)
Me: “It looks perfectly fine to me. I unpacked these from today’s shipment an hour ago. We have multiples of each size if you’d like me to help you find another one.”
Customer: “I checked them all. They’re all used, see…”
(She snatches the shirt and points at the tag which reads, under the bar code, “USD $14.99″.)
Me: “That’s the currency. United States Dollars.”
Customer, becoming irate: “I can f**king see that. Fifteen dollars for a used shirt is f**king r
Not Always Right | Born To NagBakery | Pennsylvania, USA
(I was traying up baked goods one Friday night, and around 8 o’clock a middle aged woman walks up to the counter.)
Woman: “Hello, excuse me?”
Me: “Yes? Do you need help with anything?”
Woman: “Yes, I’d like to know if you have baked bread on Sundays?”
Me: “Yes…this is a bakery. We have fresh bread everyday.”
Woman: “I know! I was just wondering if it was fresh on Sundays! I don’t want to come in and buy stale bread. I bought a stale loaf one time and it was disgusting!”
Me: “Well, yes, we do. We don’t sell stale bread, ma’am, or we would get in trouble.”
Woman: “Okay, I was just making sure! If there was stale bread I would’ve been angry!”
Me: “Well we actually can’t sell stale bread…it’s a health code issue…”
Woman: “Well, GOOD! I’m glad you’re finally doing your job
Not Always Right | The Birds & The Bees Talk, IllustratedToy Store | Belgium
Customer: “Hi, I’d like a Playboy for my son.”
Me: “…excuse me?”
Customer: “You know, a Playboy to play with.”
Me: *trying very hard not to laugh* “You mean a Gameboy?”
Customer: “Yeah that!”
Customer: *realizes what she said* “OH!”
Not Always Right | How Oj Might Order OjFast Food | Midwest USA
Customer at a drive-through: “Do you have orange juice, not an orange drink?”
Me: “Yes, we have orange juice.”
Customer: “I asked if you have orange juice, not an orange drink!”
Me: “And I said we do have orange juice…”
Customer, yelling: “Why don’t you answer my question!”
Me: “I did…twice…”
Customer: “F**k you! I don’t need to take this!”
Me: “Oooookay then…”
Not Always Right | Low Class, High Class, You're Still An AssRetail | Toronto, ON, Canada
(A customer is sitting in front of a display, reading a book.)
Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”
Customer: “I have to sit here because the customers over there are sending me bad energy.”
Coworker: “Uh, okay…”
(Coworker walks over to me.)
Coworker: “Your turn.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”
Customer: “I’m not low class you know!”
(I walk away stunned. After awhile, the customer finally gets up and walks toward the cashier.)
Customer: “I have a complaint about two of your staff members. They called me low class. I’m not low class–I’m almost forty!”
Not Always Right | A Burger Made Entirely Of CheeseRestaurant | Portsmouth, UK
Me: “Hi, how can I help?”
Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”
Me: “Okay.”
Lady: “…with cheese on.”
Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”
Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”
Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”
Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”
Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”
Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”
Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”
(Sound of giggling in the back.)
Not Always Right | Oh, How The Truth Doeth StingBookstore | Toronto, ON, USA
(As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)
Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”
Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”
Customer: *angrily* “Why?”
Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”
Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”
Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”
Not Always Right | Lt. Bsod Reporting For DutyTech Support | Nova Scotia, Canada
(Back story: the customer was getting a blue screen of death on their computer.)
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you today?”
Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me who general failure is and why he is trying to read the C drive on my computer?”
Me: “Ummm…excuse me?”
Customer: “I said that some guy named General Failure is reading my C drive.”
Me: “…How did you come to this conclusion?”
Customer: “When I booted up my computer I get a big blue screen that says “General failure reading drive C,” and I demand to know who this person is!”
Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, if you don’t mind I am going to place you on hold for about 10 minutes while I do an investigation as to who this person is…”
(I placed customer on hold and told my co-workers. We laughed our asses off for 10 minutes.)
Not Always Right | What They Really ThinkCall Center | Sydney, Australia
Me: “Sir, I’m afraid your SIM card has been destroyed due to entering your PUK code too many times. You will have to get a new one.”
Customer: “Ok, thanks.”
(Some moments pass and he hasn’t hung up. I put the phone on mute.)
Customer: “Stupid b**ch!” *miscellaneous other insults*
*mute off*
Me: “Uh, sir, you might want to disconnect the line, I’m still here.”
Customer: “OH F***!” *click*
Not Always Right | Tomorrow's Leader IndeedCollege Tech Support | Central Illinois, USA
(I work tech support for a university, and our help desk supports faculty/staff only. On this day, a student walks in.)
Student: “I’m here to turn in my paper.”
Me: “I’m sorry, this is the *** Faculty Help Desk, we don’t deal with student assignments.”
Student: “But I don’t know where to turn it in. Can’t you just turn it in for me?”
Me: “No, if you don’t know where to turn it in, I would certainly not have a clue.”
Student: “But can’t you just take it?”
Me: “No. If you’re really that confused, contact your professor or go to the department office. I’m sure they can help you.”
Student: “But can’t you just take it?”
Me: *blinks in disbelief* “Um…”
Student: “Please, take it!”
Me: “Ok.”
(I proceed to take it and place it in the recycle bin in fro
Not Always Right | All [retail Slaves] Look The SameDepartment Store | Washington, USA
(I fix registers and self-checkout equipment at said store. I wear a badge, it states which company I work for and has a picture of me on it. It looks nothing like the name badges the store uses but everyone asks me if I work there or if I can help them. I always answer politely that I don’t and point them in the direction of someone who does. But this time…)
Me: *walking to back of store to fiddle with a printer that was acting up*
Lady: “Can you help us with picking a TV?”
Me: *Looks around* “Me?”
Lady’s Boyfriend: “Yes you, we need some help here.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t work here.”
Lady: “Look, I just want to know about some of the features.”
Me: *dumbfounded* “Like I said, I don’t work here.”
Lady’s Boyfriend: “Un-f***ing-believable…I guess this is what minimum wage pays for these days.”
Me: *snort
Not Always Right | Honor Among ThievesGrocery Store | New Hampshire, USA
Me: “Your total is $87.95.”
Customer: “I have a coupon for [X product]. It was for a dollar off.”
Me: “Ok.” (I wait 30 seconds for her to produce it, but she stares blankly at the total on the screen.) Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to type that in? It’s for one dollar.”
Me: “Ma’am, I just need to see the coupon so I can scan it.”
Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE it with me…it’s at home. I forgot it, but it’s for [X product] for a dollar.”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t credit you for that unless you bring the coupon with you. You are welcome to bring it next time. Your total today is $87.95.”
Customer: “So what, you don’t believe me? Why can’t you just give me a dollar off? That’s what the coupon was for.”
Me: “Ma’am, I believe that you bought the product and that you have
Not Always Right | There Is Such A Thing As A Stupid QuestionSemi-submersible Boat Tours | Sitka, AK, USA
(I was a naturalist on a semi-submersible vessel for a summer in Alaska. The passengers get to sit in the bottom section of the boat, six feet below the water line, looking out of large windows. Over the course of the summer, I got a couple of fun questions.)
Tourist 1: “Hey, where are all the tropical fish?”
Me: *blink* “Um, in the tropics, sir. This is Alaska.”
Tourist 2: “Are we going to see any bears?”
Me: *looking out the windows at fields of kelp and bored-looking rockfish* “Sorry, no. We haven’t been able to get them to use the scuba equipment without chewing through it yet.”
Not Always Right | Who Needs Brains When You Have MoneyRestaurant | New Hartford, NY, USA
( I worked as a waiter at a country club with a bunch of really “Old Money” snobs. )
Me: “We have a steak (of some kind, I don’t remember). And dude does it sound good!”
Old Money: “Ahem! Excuse me! Did you just say dude?”
Me: “Why yes sir. I did, I was just saying how good this dish sounds.”
Old Money: “Well, excuse me young man. Dude AIN’T a word.”
(At this point I’m thinking…are you seriously trying to debate this with an English Major by saying “Ain’t?”)
Me: “Well sir, actually it is. A dude is a rich old man, like yourself, from the East who thinks they can live on a ranch in the West. And just for the record sir! ‘Ain’t’ is NOT a word! ”
(Needless to say, I wasn’t allowed to wait that Old Man or his family at the Country Club ever again.)
Not Always Right | Hey, Let's Make Our Own RulesMovie Theater | Lubbock, TX, USA
(I work as a box office cashier and Saturday nights are the best due to funny things like this.)
Lady: “I need two for 27 Dresses.”
Me: “I’m sorry but the 7:20 is sold out. Our next one is at 10:00.”
Lady: “Seriously? It’s sold out?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Lady: “So there aren’t any more seats?”
Me: “No seats.”
Lady: “What if I went and bought concessions?”
Me: “Then you would have concessions, I suppose.”
Lady: “I mean, if I bought stuff from inside, I can get seats right?”
Me: “No. You’ll just have popcorn and soda.”
Lady: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Well typically when you get concessions, you end up with popcorn and soda.”
Lady: “Yes. That’s true.”
Me: “Can I ask you to step aside so I can help some other people if you aren’t ready to select an
Not Always Right | Stupidity ExemplifiedRetail | Niagara Falls, NY, USA
(I was working in the seasonal section of a large bulk retail chain. It was Christmas time and we sold large sets of decorative houses with lights in them.)
Customer: “Hi, I would like to purchase one of these…” *points to a house set* “…but there aren’t anymore underneath it. Where are the others stored?”"
(I use my price gun to check the quantities of said item.)
Me: “I’m sorry, it appears we are sold out.”
Customer: “Oh, well then I’ll just take this one.” *points to the display unit*
Me: “Oh, that’s just a display unit. That one isn’t for sale.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, this is one of those specific items that we are given a temporary display unit from the vendor that we have to send back at the end of the season.”
Customer: “So why can’t I buy it?”
Me: “Well, it’s not ours t
Not Always Right | The Joy Of Sex(ism)Computer Store | Reykjavik, Iceland
(I’m a 28 year old female and work for a computer store. I’m alone in the store when a middle-aged man walks in.)
Me: “Hi there, can I help you?”
Customer: “Are there any computer guys around here?”
Me: “Just me at the moment, anything I can help you with?”
Customer: *tries to look behind me to the stock room and repair area* “Well, aren’t there any computer GUYS here?”
Me: “No. Look, is there anything I can help you with?”
Customer: “Well um…I need this fixed.” *holds a multimedia jukebox*
Me: “Well, I work in repairs as well so just tell me what’s wrong with it and I’ll take a look at it for you.”
Customer: “Listen, I just need to talk to a computer guy! I did everything right. I put the hard disk in but it still won’t work. Just get a guy to fix it!”
Me: “Well, the most common mistake is when
Not Always Right | A Pain In The AskRetail | Santa Barbara, CA, USA
(This customer bought a couple packs of white t-shirts and socks.)
Me: “Your total is $28.77.”
Customer: “Were the shirts on sale?”
Me: “Yes, they were $2 off.”
Customer: “How do you know?”
Me: “…because that’s what the sale price is. See? It shows it here on the register screen.”
Customer: “Oh okay. But were they on sale?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Okay. Were the socks on sale?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Our sales change weekly and this week these socks aren’t on sale.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Because they aren’t on sale this week.”
Customer: “But why?”
Me: “I don’t know…corporate decides the sales.”
Customer: “Oh okay. What’s the total?”
Me: “$28.77.”
(The customer gives me $40 and
Not Always Right | F*** The Benefits, We Want Combat PayRetail | New Zealand
(So we have this awful woman who regularly shops at our store. One day we were extremely busy and a coworker of mine was struggling to fit shoes for three children.)
Mean lady: “Bring me this size!”
Coworker: *disappears out back for a few seconds* “I’m sorry ma’am, but it appears we’ve sold our last pair.”
Mean lady: *throws shoe box at co workers head, hitting her squarely in the forehead*
Coworker: “Ouch…”
Mean Lady: “I hate you!”
Not Always Right | Zero Short Term Memory Part 2College Computer Lab | New Brunswick, NJ, USA
(There is an ID check to enter the lab and to print.)
Me: “Hi, can I see your ID please?”
Guy: “No, I don’t need ID to come in here.”
Me: “Yes, at this lab it is required.”
Guy: “But I don’t need an ID to come in!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I really need your ID or I can’t let you come into the lab.”
Guy: “Oh I need ID to come in? Why didn’t you just ask me for it?!”
Me: *headdesk*
Not Always Right | Mmmmm, Cherry Flavored Maxi-padsRetail | South Australia
(Around Easter, stacking poorly transported eggs and bunnies onto a shelf. A young girl, around 16, approaches me.)
Customer: “Can you tell me where the confectionery is?”
(I am slightly bemused, as we are standing next to the confectionery aisle.)
Me: “Yes, it is just there.”
(She looks, and furrows he brow.)
Customer: “No. Confectionery.”
Me: *pointing again* “Yes, there.”
(She looks even more angry now.)
Customer: “No. The c o n f e c t i o n e r y!”
Me: “Yes…there.”
Customer: “Nooo. The confectionery, like tampons and stuff!”
Not Always Right | The Problem Exists Between Chair And KeyboardTech Support Specialist | Buffalo, NY, USA
(I had just started a new IT job for a large school district and was not expecting the level of stupidity I would be dealing with on a regular basis. Within my first 3 weeks, I receive a phone call from a school.)
Clerk: “Hi, I am trying to use this new system on these computers and I attempting to make my account. My Principal got me started but now I am stuck.”
Me: “What seems to be the problem?”
Clerk: “Well, it is asking me for First Name and I have no idea what I am supposed to type.”
Me: “You’re at the registration screen? Um…well I think you are supposed to enter your name.”
Clerk: “Oh…okay…wait. No, it’s asking me for something else.”
Me: “What now?”
Clerk: “It says…last…name…what do I put here?”
Me: “Probably your last name.”
Clerk: “Oh, thanks…oh Jesus, now it&r
Not Always Right | A Miracle On Placebo StreetRestaurant | Northbrook, IL, USA
(I was a waiter at a 50’s style dinner in a mall restaurant where a customer asked me to turn the heat up.)
Customer: “It’s a little cold in here. Could you turn the heat up?”
Me: “I would love to, but the restaurant is open to the mall and we have no control over the mall temperature.”
Customer: “Could you please just try?”
Me: “I would love to but there is no way–”
Customer: “I would really appreciate it if you would just try.”
Me: “I’ll be right back and see what I can do.”
(I then proceed to walk into the back house and munch on some onion rings. After a few minutes pass, I walk out.)
Me: “How’s that?”
Customer: “Much better!”
Not Always Right | The Straw ManFast Food | Brisbane, Australia
(Holding a large box of straws, I walk out towards the customers side of the registers during lunch time at a busy shopping center fast food restaurant, to refill all the straw holders.)
Me: “Excuse me, sir…”
(I walk up beside the customer, but still giving him some space despite the fact it was busy and crowded.)
Angry Customer: “To hell with that c**p, Why do you get to go first? I’ve been waiting here for TEN MINUTES!”
Me: “I’m just…”
Angry Customer: “You’re just impatient, thats your problem, wait in line like the rest of us.”
(A lot of other customers were staring at him, he had clearly not even realized I was in uniform.)
Me: “Sorry sir, I work here and I need to refill these straws, a lady complained before because all the straw holders had run out.”
Angry Customer: “Well why are you doing that NOW? Couldn’t you have picked a better t
Not Always Right | Pride Goeth Before A RentalVideo Rental | Philadelphia, PA, USA
(I have a reputation of knowing good movies. Some customers got into the habit of just coming in and asking me what they should watch…especially when they wanted to seem intellectual. One customer was an a** one day so I gave him a Russian movie that was slow, boring and pretentious. He returned the movie about a week later.)
Me: “How’d you like it?”
Customer: “Man, you dropped the ball on this one. It sucked. Took me three nights to get through it. I kept falling asleep. I hate to have to pay this much money for it.”
Me: “Wow, I’m surprised. I don’t recommend it to a lot of people because I don’t think they’ll catch the subtle subtext in the imagery.”
Customer: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah…the meat of the story is really in the shot composition, the use of color and the things that remain unsaid. It gets past a lot of people but I thought you would have
Not Always Right | Calling Her BluffVideo Rental | Maryville, MO, USA
Customer: “Yeah, this movie didn’t play right. It keeps skipping. I want a different one.”
Me: “Okay, if you want to go grab another copy off the shelves I’ll get this checked in.”
(I scan the movie and it is three days late.)
Me: “Ma’am, this movie is three days late.”
Customer: “So?”
Me: “So…I’ll have to charge you full price to rent another movie, and you’ll need to pay the late fee.”
Customer: “THE MOVIE DIDN’T WORK. I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE FREE!”
Me: “Well, it was a three day rental, and you could have brought it in anytime in those three days and we would have been happy to exchange it free of charge. However since it’s late, I can’t do that.”
Customer: “THIS IS F**KING BULLS**T! LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”
Me: “I am the manager, ma’am.”
Customer: “F**KING RI
Not Always Right | Captain Obvious' Revengebar | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK
Customer: “How cold is the Extra Cold Guinness?”
Me: “Colder than the regular Guinness.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it.”
(Customer takes a sup of his pint.)
Customer: “It just tastes like regular Guinness, but colder!”
Me: “…yup.”
Not Always Right | Yum, Bible Ham PasteGrocery Store | Suffolk, VA, USA
(I use to work in a deli at a grocery story. This story takes place there.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “I want the extra cheap-a** ham.”
Me: “How thin do you want that?”
Customer: “Bible-paper thin.”
Me: “Um…ok?”
(It should be noted that slicing the “extra cheap-a** ham” too thin results not in ham, but in a ham-like paste)
Me: “Here you go.”
Customer: “You call that thin? You obviously aren’t a religious man, I can see.”
Me: “Ok…”
(I ended up giving him about $3.00 worth of ham paste and he walked away happy, so I guess it all worked out.)
Not Always Right | It Comes With Free BroadswordDonut Shop | Connecticut, USA
(I’m working drive through when the headset beeps.)
Me:: “Hi, welcome to *** Donuts, what can I get you?”
Customer:: “Hi, I’ll have a barbarian cream!”
Me:: “…a what?”
Customer: “A barbarian cream!”
Me: “…you mean a Bavarian cream?”
Customer: “Yeah, that!”
Not Always Right | The Great Doll Heist Of '08Retail | Rochester, NY, USA
(I was working in the back, getting things ready for the next floor set, and I had to pull some mannequins from the floor and dress them. I was dragging one of the full body forms towards the back, when a customer approached me.)
Her: “Excuse me, do you work here?”
(Note that I’m wearing the uniform and I still have a headset in my ear.)
Me: “No, ma’am, I’m stealing this mannequin.”
Her: “Oh, okay. thanks.”
(She turns around to find someone else to help her.)
Not Always Right | Just Wait Until She Names Her KidsTech Support | Grand Rapids, MI, USA
(This customer called in to reactivate her account. She didn’t remember the original password so I reset it for her)
Me: “All right, your password must be at least six characters in length, contain letters and numbers, and cannot be a common dictionary word. What would you like it to be?”
Customer: “Eat sh*t.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “The password–eatsh*t.”
Me: “Alright…but it requires a number.”
Customer: “Oh….”
Me: “How about 1eatsh*t1?”
Customer: “Great!”
Not Always Right | Effective Excuses. Vol. 1Bar | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK
(A female comes into the bar and asks to use the toilets.)
Me: “Sorry, toilets are for customer use only.”
Her: “I just started my period. If you don’t let me use the toilet, I’m going to bleed all over your floor.”
Me: “First door on the left.”
Not Always Right | The Endless LoopyVideo Rental | Chicago, IL, USA
Man on phone: “Hi, I don’t think this DVD is working properly.”
Me: “What happened, exactly?”
Man on phone: “We put it in and it plays, but the movie is only a couple minutes long and then it starts over again.”
Me: “Are there any words on the screen?”
Man on phone: “Yes. The title of the movie and some other things.”
Me: “Is there a word that says Play or Play Movie?”
Man on phone: “Yes.”
Me: “Just hit the play button on you remote control or DVD player.”
Man on phone: “Wow! Thanks! It’s doing something else now. I just thought it was a short movie.”
Not Always Right | I Once Had A Customer This DumbUPS Store | Leesburg, VA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling The UPS Store, this is Rick speaking, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Yeah, hi. I need to find out how much it will be to send something to Iowa.”
Me: “I’d be happy to get you an estimate on shipping. Could I get the dimensions and weight of the box as well as the ZIP code of the destination?”
Caller: “Yeah, it’s probably about 10 pounds, and about this big.”
Me: “Well, I need a ZIP code for the destination, but you didn’t really give me the dimensions of the box.”
Caller: “The ZIP code is 51365, and it’s about this big.”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t see your hands, so you’ll have to give me some sort of numeric dimension to work with.”
Caller: “Oh, let me get a ruler–” *click*
Me: *sigh*
Customer in the store who overheard the phone conversation: “Are you serious?!”
Not Always Right | Imperialism At Its FinestRetail | Yukon, Canada
Customer: *hands over US Currency while trying to buy a T-Shirt*
Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t take US Currency. We do, however take debit, all major credit card–”
Customer: *cuts me off* “Why the hell can’t you take my money?! This is the U. S. OF A!”
Me: “No sir, this is the Yukon Territory, in Canada.”
Customer: “No it’s not! This is the USA! Alaska! I’ve been driving on the Alaska Highway for hours so that makes this Alaska!”
Me: “No sir. This is the Yukon…we’re part of Canada…the Alaska Highway LEADS to Alaska and–”
Customer: *again, cutting me off* “Don’t you ever look at a map?! The Yukon is IN Alaska, and that’s part of the United States! You HAVE to take my money!”
Me: “The Yukon is part of Canada, we are NEXT to Alaska, which is part of the United States…”
(The customer gets angry,
Not Always Right | Math-uh-maticsDrugstore | Oklahoma City, OK, USA
(We’re selling tons of over-the-counter, store-brand medications at buy one, get one free. I ring up a lady who has two bottles of cough syrup with her. She keeps a stern eye on the cash register monitor as I check them through.)
Lady: “That’s not right.”
Me: “What isn’t?”
Lady: “The coupon says buy one at $6.99, get the other one free.”
Me: “Precisely. You’re getting both of these for $6.99.”
Lady: “But one’s ringing up as $3.50 and the other at $3.49.”
Me: “That’s correct. The register divides these differences automatically.”
Lady, growing fidgety: “But that’s not what the COUPON says.”
Me: *after a pause* “Well, $3.50 plus $3.49 is $6.99.”
Lady: “So this is how you scam customers!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m pretty certain that we here at [drugstore chain] do not scam our customers
Not Always Right | Entropy Strikes AgainMovie Theater | Illinois, USA
(A woman came up to the concession counter with a tub of popcorn.)
Me: “Yes, can I help you?”
Woman: “WHY IS THIS POPCORN COLD?!”
Me: “It is? That’s weird, it shouldn’t be. I just made several batches, so I can get you another one.”
(The popcorn was ice cold, which was odd considering it usually stayed warm for a few hours.)
Me: “Just wondering, when did you buy this popcorn?”
Woman: “Yesterday.”
Me: “…”
Not Always Right | A Cold Day In HellPlumber | Chicago, IL, USA
(An extremely difficult older customer was waiting on hold to speak to me while I was on the line with another customer. He impatiently hung up several times and called back as though terrorizing the receptionists would get him on the phone with me any faster.)
Me: “Sorry to keep you holding, how can I help you?”
Older male customer: “I demand that you remove that hold music immediately because I refuse to listen to it! I also don’t appreciate waiting! I’m very busy and don’t have the time to waste to talk to you!”
Me: “I’m apologize for the inconvenience, but I was on the line with another customer.”
Him: “Now I’m going to waste your time by staying on the line so you can’t take any other calls!”
Me: “Okay…”
Him: “…”
Me: “…”
(The silence continues for another pointless several seconds.)
Him: “Let me sp
Not Always Right | Keeping Up AppearancesTheatre | New York, NY, USA
(I was working a children’s show at this theatre and this woman was helping a child with special needs. I was closing the theatre when she came running up to me.)
Woman: “I think I left my phone inside the theatre. Can I just go check?”
(I let her inside and we begin looking where she had been sitting; neither of us could find it. At this point she was on her knees sitting up, digging through her pockets.)
Woman: “Where the hell could it have…”
(She freezes and pulls her phone out of her pocket, which she then looks at and THROWS IT UNDER A SEAT. She then bends over and grabs it.)
Woman: “I found it! Thank you so much.”
Me: *stifling laughter* “You’re welcome.”
Not Always Right | Alls Well That Ends Well In RoswellSignmaking Shop | Vancouver, BC, Canada
(I worked at a sign making company in Vancouver–AKA Hollywood North–that did a lot of work for locally produced sci-fi TV shows like The X-Files. We did a lot of signage that said things like “FBI Headquarters” that they would use to make a local library look like some kind of secret government research facility.)
Movie Set B*tch: “OMG! We need a TEAK sign that says FBI headquarters down here at the set in three hours.”
(Note: This job normally takes one person several days to complete with staining and whatnot.)
Me: “Okay. We can do it but we’re going to have to charge you triple for a rush job.”
MSB: “No problem. Just have it down here in three hours. I don’t care how much it costs.”
Me: “Just to confirm. You want it stained to look like teak, yes?”
MSB: “Yes. Please hurry!”
(We get the sign done in 2.5 hours but we’re literally apply
Not Always Right | The Joy Of Sex(ism) Part 2Video Game Store | Akron, OH, USA
(I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)
Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”
Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”
Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”
Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years.”
Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”
Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*
Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”
Not Always Right | I'll Have Whatever He's HavingBar | Edinburgh, UK
(A VERY drunk WHITE guy comes in 5 minutes before closing time.)
White guy: “F*ck you! You’re not going to serve me are you?”
Me: “Nope, sorry, we’re just closing.”
White guy: “Awww, go on, please…just a quick pint!”
Me: “No, we’re closing.”
White guy: “F*ck you, is it because I’m black?”
Me: “…Yes.”
Not Always Right | Pointless ObstinanceRetail | Edinburgh, UK
Me: “Good Evening, Ross speaking. How can I help you?”
Caller: “I just told you how you can help me!”
Me: “No, sir, you were speaking to someone in admin; they put your call through to me. If you could repeat your query I’ll be happy to help.”
Caller: “But I just told you what I wanted. I’m not repeating myself!”
Me: “Then I’m sorry, I can’t help you then.”
Caller: “Fine!” *hangs up*
Not Always Right | Customer To The RescueRetail | Boone, IA, USA
(I was currently working in the electronics section of a discount super store, who’s favorite color use to be blue, when I was approached by a customer, which was surprising since the state was being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”
Me: “Hmm…it seems they aren’t in yet, when did you send them out?”
Customer: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and its too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”
Customer: “Well I made it, how come they can’t?”
Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”
Customer: “I
Not A ClueI don't really know what to name this, But in the last week, several people I thought were close to me have ignored me and made me feel like I'm of zero importance in their life. I always tried to make those who make me feel special, feel the same. Though, the gender roles of the world are changing. It's so sad to see this happening.
I guess its easy to tell,Just by the way I feelThat I picked my poison wellEmotions never really healYou were my eyesYou were my earsYou make a matter of moments;Seem like yearsAll I want,Is the end of this bleeding..This heartache.Yet, Still I'm waiting,With everything at stake.Is it corruption I'm seeking?Or maybe testing these bonds,To see if they break..I could never get byThis system of equasionsRacking my brainA better off innovationWhat's with my loyalty?Even so my trust and shame?In over my head,I've been drowned by this game.I'm not sure where to go,Or what's even left to do..Despite everything saidOr anything ever doneEven to this dayI'd stil
Not Always Right | Saved By The BossTech Support | Summerville, SC, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. What can I–”
Caller: “F*** YOU, B****! YOU G**D*** WOMEN HAVE NO F***ING RIGHT TO BELITTLE ME! B****!”
Me: “Um, sir, I think you have the wrong–”
Caller: “I SAID F*** YOU!”
Me: “Sir, this is tech support.”
Caller: “What?! Um…I mean…um…” *click*
(A few moments later, the phone rings again and I answer.)
Me: “Hello, tech support. What may I–”
Same caller: “F*** YOU!”
Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number.”
Same caller: *click*
(My boss who has been observing this the whole time decides to step in.)
Boss, to me: “I’ll handle the phone now.”
(Not surprisingly, the phone rings again. My boss picks it up, and before the guy on the other end can say anything…)
Boss: “Sir, if you keep pressing redial, you will keep reaching the
Not Always Right | In Hot Water For Hot SauceFast Food | St. Catharines, ON, Canada
(At my store, we charge for certain sauces if you get them on the side. I have just given the customer his food, but rather then leave he just stands there and stares at me.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Was there something else I can get for you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I want sauce.”
Me: “I’d be happy to get you some they are 25 cents. How many do you want?”
Customer: “No, just give it to me for free.”
Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’d get in trouble sir.”
Customer: “I won’t tell you manager!”
Me: “Actually, my manager is right there.” *points him out*
Customer: “Oh…well, give it to me anyway. You can get another job later.”
Not Always Right | The Wind In The WindowsCall Center | Orlando, FL, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I help you today?”
Caller: “I’m having problems with my computer and–”
(Suddenly, what sounds like an air raid siren sounds off in the background.)
Me: “Ma’am, I apologize. I was unable to hear what you said.”
Caller: “Stupid tornado warnings! They always make it hard to talk on the phone.”
Me: “Oh…should I let you go?”
Caller: “Nah. This happens all of the time.”
(In addition to the siren, I hear a door slam and the sound of someone else entering the room. I hear a male voice who I guess is the caller’s husband.)
Caller’s husband: “D*** it woman, are you crazy?! Get to the basement!”
Caller: “Oh, I guess I should go…” *hangs up*
Not Always Right | Why Judgment Day Is Going To Be A Cakewalk Part IRetail | Phoenix, AZ, USA
(I’ve just finished ringing up some items for a customer and her daughter.)
Me: “It looks like your customer card is about to expire. Would you like to renew it now?”
Customer: “Yes, I would.”
Me: “Okay, just press the green button on the key pad.”
(The total rings up as $24.32.)
Customer: “Okay, I want to pay cash.”
Me: “Okay…”
(We stand there for a few seconds as the customer continues to stare at the total on the register.)
Customer: “Well, what do I do?”
Customer’s daughter: “Are you serious?”
Customer: “Yeah, there is no cash button. What do I do?”
Customer’s daughter: “Mom.”
Customer: “What?”
Customer’s daughter: “Hand the poor woman your cash.”
Customer: *hands me cash* “I’m so sorry…I’m used to the machine telling me what to do!”
Customer&rsquo
Not Always Right | Cutty Out The AttitudeKindergarten Class | New Zealand
(I am working in a kindergarten where over half of the kids are Maori. The Maori word for scissors is ‘kutikuti,’ which is pronounced ‘cutty cutty’.)
Me, to a child: “Can you pass me the kutikuti please?”
Mother: “What did you say to my child?”
Me: “I asked her to pass me the scissors.”
Mother: “Don’t talk baby to my child. She’s smart enough to use adult words.”
Me: “I wasn’t. I was using the Maori name for scissors.”
Mother: “No, you said cutty cutty. That’s not Maori. I’m Maori, and I think I know Maori when I hear it.”
(The child interrupts. She grabs her mom by the hand and drags her off to a poster on the wall which has a few art objects and their Maori names under them.)
Child: “Mom, why do you always have to pick fights with people? I’m very disappointed in you!”
(When her mother left I gave
Not Always Right | In The Land Of Milk & MoneyMeat Packing Plant | Minnesota, USA
(I am working at a packing house, cutting checks for local dairy farmers who sell us one or two cows at a time. They are given a scale ticket in the barn, which I use to cut a check.)
Me: “Hi, can I have your scale ticket?”
Farmer: “I’d like him to help me.” *points at a USDA associate*
Me: “Sorry, sir, but he doesn’t work for us. He works for the USDA.”
Farmer: “Well, I’d like you to find a MAN who can cut me a check for my cows.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but none of the men that work here know how to cut checks. All our office staff members are women.”
Farmer: “Don’t lie, you little hussy! Only men can run a business! You go back to making coffee!”
Me: “Sir, you run a dairy farm, correct?”
Farmer: “Yeah.”
Me: “And you make money from the milk you sell?”
Farmer: “That’s how a dairy farm works, swee
Not Always Right | Best Grandpa EverGrocery Store | Portland, ME, USA
(I work at a small grocery store owned by my Grandpa. It’s in the middle of summer and a customer wearing a thick jacket comes in.)
Customer: “Can I get some cigarettes?”
Grandpa: “Excuse me, would you mind open your jacket up?”
Customer: “No, why would I do that!”
Grandpa: “Sir, I saw you take that beer. Give it back and we won’t press charges.”
Customer: “That’s crazy, I didn’t take anything!”
Grandpa: “Sir, I–”
(The customer seems like he is about to run, and my grandpa grabs his arm. The customer tries to shove him away, but in the process he opens his coat and reveals the stolen goods.)
Customer: “GET OFF!”
(My grandpa grabs his balls, and begins squeezing them.)
Grandpa: “Just put the beer down, and I won’t pop them!”
(He put the beer down.)
Not Always Right | Wrong About The RightJewelry Store | Leicestershire, UK
(I’m filling out a return slip for a customer.)
Customer: “Oh! You’re a lefty!”
Me: “Err no, this is my right hand.”
Customer: “But it’s on my left!”
Me: “It’s still my right hand.”
Not Always Right | Third Tail's A CharmHotel | Sanibel, FL, USA
Customer: “Hi, I’m planning to stay here for a few days and just wanted to find out whether I can bring pets.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our hotel has a strict no pet policy.”
Customer: “So I can’t bring my dog?”
Me: “No, I’m afraid not.”
Customer: “But it’s tiny, doesn’t shed, and I guarantee I’ll always let it out in time.”
Me: “No, I’m sorry.”
Customer: “What about my cat?”
Me: “No pets, sir.”
Customer: “Alright, fine.” *stands around for several moments* “So my wife can bring her hamster, right?”
Not Always Right | How About A Chia Pet?Pet Store | San Diego, CA, USA
(I walk up to a customer and her family holding one of our pet store rabbits.)
Me: “So, are you ready to buy that rabbit?”
Customer: “Yeah, I think I’m going to. What do rabbits need?”
Me: “Well, the first thing a rabbit needs is a good home. We have a nice selection of cages start.”
Customer: “I think I’ll just put it in with my guinea pig.”
Me: “Well, that really isn’t a good idea. They should really have separate cages.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll put the guinea pig somewhere else. What else do rabbits need?”
Me: “Vitamins are good for rabbits, especially younger bunnies who are making their first move–”
Customer: “Can’t I use ferret vitamins?”
Me: “Well, no, because rabbits are herbivores and ferrets are carnivores. They have different nutritional needs.”
Customer, to husband: “I don’t n
Not Always Right | At Least They Made It To The Paper Anniversary.Grocery Store | Greensboro, NC, USA
(I am waiting to bag a couple’s groceries. The man walks to the end of the register and looks me straight in the eyes.)
Customer: *out of earshot of wife* “Let me tell you something.”
Me: “Okay.”
Customer: “If you ever think you love a woman and want to marry her, run away.”
Me: *chuckling* “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. So, are plastic bags okay?”
Customer: “Yeah, that’s fine.”
(As I put items into a plastic bag, the man’s wife joins him.)
Customer’s Wife: “Oh, can we actually have paper bags?”
Customer: “I can’t even make this decision?”
Not Always Right | Latte In TranslationCoffee Shop | Minneapolis, MN, USA
Customer: “I want a vanilla iced latte.”
Cashier: “Okay, anything else?”
Customer: “No.”
(I make the drink for the customer and give it to her.)
Me: “Here you are, ma’am.”
Customer: “What is this? It isn’t a vanilla iced latte!”
Me: “Yes it is, ma’am.”
Customer: “What? No! I said I wanted a vanilla iced LA…TEA!”
Me: “I’m not sure what you mean… we do have iced tea.”
Customer: “I wanted a LA-TEA!”
Customer’s husband: “She wants an iced coffee.”
Customer: “Yes! Why are you people so stupid?! I always say the wrong thing. You should know by now what I want!”
Not Always Right | How About Some Techiflu?Tech Support | Torrance, CA, USA
Customer: “Hi, I had my computer looked at there, and you guys said that it’s running slow because there are probably bugs in it. Well, I sprayed some bug spray in it and now it won’t turn on.”
Me: “Ma’am, when they tell you bugs, they mean computer viruses, not an actual bug.”
Customer: “Well, what can I spray it with to get rid of the viruses?”
Not Always Right | Fast Food For Fast ThinkersFast Food | Maryland, USA
(I am working as a cashier and two customers come in talking loudly about how dumb minimum wage fast-food workers are. One of them decides to prove it…)
Customer: “Let me ask you a question. What’s 7 times 7?”
Me: “49.”
Customer: “What’s 8 times 8?”
Me: “64.”
Customer: “E equals MC squared?”
Me: “What about it?”
Customer: “What does it mean?”
Me: “Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”
Customer: “Uhm…”
Me: “Would you like fries with that?”
Not Always Right | A Sign Of A Long DayGrocery Store | Mississauga, ON, Canada
(Note: I am a self-checkout attendant.)
Customer: “Miss, my debit card doesn’t seem to be working.”
Me: “Are you sure you’re swiping it the right way?”
Customer: “Which way is the right way?”
Me: “Stripe facing outward.”
Customer: “Miss, it’s still not working!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, but that debit machine is currently out of order.”
Customer: “I want to use this one. Why isn’t this one working?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we called tech support. If you’d like, I’d be more than happy to suspend your order and–”
Customer: “It’s your responsibility to put up signs if something isn’t working! I want to speak to your store manager.”
Me: “There’s no sign on that machine? I’m sure I put them up just a couple of minutes ago.”
Customer: “Do you SEE
Not Always Right | Baaaah-laboring The ObviousShoe Store | Baton Rouge, LA, USA
Customer: “Do you have any kid’s shoes?”
Me: *thinking she’s referring to a similar-sounding brand* “Yes. They are right over here.”
Customer: “No, not these. Kid’s shoes!”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The youth department is over here.”
Customer: “No, not kid’s, kid’s!”
Me: “I’m sorry, are you looking for the brand, or kid’s shoes?”
Customer: “Kid’s!”
Me: *showing her the brand* “Is this what you are looking for?”
Customer: “Yes. Do you have them in kid’s?”
Me: “No, we do not have kid’s sizes.
Customer: “I am not looking for kid’s sizes! I am looking for some to fit me!”
Me: *confused* “These are our adult shoes…the youth section is over there.”
Customer: “Do you even know what a kid is?”
Me: “No?”
Customer
Not Always Right | Hair In Mid-airPet Groomer | Orem, UT, USA
(A customer brings in a beautiful long haired Shih Tzu for a trim up. As I am petting the dog, I feel that she is very matted.)
Me: “I am sorry, but Missy is very matted. She needs to be shaved down very close to her skin.”
Customer: “Oh no, she’s not matted. Can’t you see how long her fur is? I brush her every day.”
Me: “I’m sure you do, ma’am, but you are only getting the hair on top. The hair on the bottom has become very matted and needs to be shaved.”
Customer: “Can’t you just shave the bottom and leave the top?”
Not Always Right | It Was A Love/hate/poison RelationshipGrocery Store | Ontario, Canada
Customer: “Hello. How do you have strawberries so late in the season?”
Me: “They are a special breed called Everbearing. They last until the frost comes.”
Customer: “How did they get such a breed?”
Me: “Well, they bred them especially for this.”
Customer: “So they were genetically modified? That causes cancer!”
Me: “I’m sure they won’t give you cancer. There are other things that cause cancer, but–”
Customer: “Don’t tell me what causes cancer! Don’t you think I know what causes cancer?!”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Customer: “It’s okay, I’ll take a basket. They’re for my sister.”
Not A Norm For MeThis is real strange for me ... to post in here about me.
But there are a few that know what is going on and understand it. Which I am grateful for. I love them to death. So now i have changed my mind and not going to pity me party ... it's a Thank you for those who listen and are truly wonderful friends and people!!!! I wish I could do more for you. But, this is the extent for now ....
Not Another One Tiger!Talk about the flood gates opening up. News stories allege another babe was doing Tiger. Tiger my man you were busy bee or shall we say a prodigious sex machine. Can we just call you a man whore? Bro you got all us guy who have almost give every dime we have to score and you just say the word and you’re doing the nasty. At least this babe is sexy and soooo good looking. Heck man, with your stature you could score Cleopatra after Ceasar and Marc Antony. So I like your choice in number 4. Number 5 better be equal to or better then number 4 Dude. You think Mrs. Woods will want to rewrite the Pre-Nep again? I wouldn’t be surprised. My Grandmother told me so I’ll tell you, keep your zipper zipped up and your pants on. Then you won’t get into trouble. Good advice Tiger.
Be one of the beautiful people and tune in BlastFM. Then people will no you have discriminating taste.
www.live65.com/stations/blastcasterfm
.
Not Always Right | A Hazy Legal MazeGrocery Store | New York, USA
Customer: “What cigarettes would you recommend?”
Me: “I’m actually only 16, I don’t smoke.”
Customer: “Oh well then which cigars are your favorite?”
Me: “I’m only 16, I don’t smoke.”
Customer: “Okay then. Do you sell marijuana?”
Me: “That’s actually illegal.”
Customer: “What? When did that happen?”
Not Always Right | The Custom-fur Is Always RightBakery | Sydney, Australia
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a lemon and lime pie please.”
Me: “I’m sorry miss, we don’t sell those. We never have.”
Customer: “But I was so sure. Let me just check.” *pulls out phone and dials* “Hi, darling…yes, I know, but she says they don’t sell them anymore. Okay, I’ll put you on…”
Customer: “He’d like to talk to you.” *hands me the phone*
Me: “Hi, sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t sell lemon and lime pies.”
Phone: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”
Customer, to me: “You see?!”
Not Always Right | Lost & (dumb) FoundRetail | Kansas, USA
(A customer calls our store claiming she’s lost her phone. The routine is to replace the phone if insured, to give them a loaner phone for a few weeks, or to sell them another phone. She has turned down all of those options.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else we can do for you besides giving you a loaner phone or selling you another one.”
Customer: “No, I have a replacement.”
Me: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding. Why are you calling us?”
Customer: “I lost my phone.”
Me: “…and you already have a replacement for it?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Were you calling to ask if you left it here?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I really don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.”
Customer: “Where’s my phone?”
Me: “We have no way of tracking where your phone is at an
Not Always Right | My Cup & My JoeCoffee Shop | Fairfax, VA, USA
Me: “Do you have a rewards card?”
Customer: “Yes!” *gives email* “That’s my husband’s email.”
Me: “Oh, lots of people share accounts, it’s okay. It helps you get rewards faster.”
Customer: “My husband’s really handsome…but he’s mine!” *glares at me*
Me: “Uh…”
Customer: “He’s handsome and he’s mine!”
Co-worker: “Uh, medium mocha at the bar?”
Customer: “Oh! That’s mine!” *glares at me* “Like my husband!”
Not Always Right | Not Exactly The Pick Of The LitterPet Store | Dearborn, MI, USA
Customer: “I’m looking for the right kind of food for my new rottweiler puppy.”
Me: “No problem, I’d be happy to help you. And since your little guy here is a large breed dog, he needs to stay on the puppy food for two years before switching to the adult formula.”
Customer: “Large breed?”
Me: “Yes, this little guy is a rottweiler mix. He will probably be around 90-110 pounds.”
Customer: “Oh…so if I keep him on puppy food, will he stay small like this?”
Not Always Right | Barely Scratched The SurfaceGrocery Store | Paxton, IL, USA
Customer: “Hello, young man, can you help me?”
Me: “Yes ma’am. What can I do for you?”
Customer: “Where do you keep your scratch?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Scratch! Where do you keep it? I need some to make pie!”
Me: “I’m not sure that I’m clear on what you need. Can you tellme what you are going to use it for?”
Customer: “My husband says that I need to make pie from scratch for Christmas, so I need to buy some scratch for the pie.”
Me: “Ma’am, that just means that you buy the ingredients and make the pie yourself.”
Customer: “I don’t have time to make pie myself! I need some scratch!”
Not Always Right | Up His Own PerineumHome Improvement | Canada
Me: “Hello sir, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for some perennials who don’t need maintenance on it.”
Me: “Well, we got a few who need very low attention, but–”
Customer: “–and I don’t want to water them! I don’t have time for that!”
Me: “Every plants need water sir, even cactus, but we–”
Customer: “And they gonna be by the pool, so they need to be waterproof, too!”
Me: “Waterproof?”
Customer: “Yeah, so the chlorine won’t affect them and they will not die!”
Me: “So you want some flowers who doesn’t need maintenance, don’t need water and that chlorine won’t kill?”
Customer: “Yep, that’s it!”
Me: “Plastic flowers gonna work?”
Customer: “Do you think I am stupid! Get me your manager!”
(I call my manager, and the custo
Not Always Right | The Devil Revils In The DetailsLibrary | Boston, MA, USA
Customer: “Can I check out books?”
Me: “Do you have a library card?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: *checks out books* “Okay, you’re all set. These are due back January 15.”
Customer: “But that was 11 months ago!”
Me: “January 15 of 2010, ma’am.”
Customer: “What if I return them NEXT January 15?”
Me: “Then you would owe $365 in overdue fines, ma’am.”
Customer: “But it would still be January 15!”
Not Always Right | Gobble Grunt GobbleRestaurant | San Jose, CA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys sold male chicken?”
Me: “We do sell chicken, but I am not sure we know the gender.”
Customer: “But someone told me that you guys sold male chicken for Thanksgiving dinners.”
Me: “Thanksgiving dinner? Are you talking about a turkey?”
Customer: “Yeah! The male chicken!”
Not Always Right | He Likes The Strong & Silent TypeRestaurant | Melbourne, Australia
(An older customer enters the restaurant and walks straight to the bar where I’m drying glasses. Note that I’m female.)
Me: “Yes sir, how can I help you?”
Customer: “No, that won’t do.”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “That’s a weak mentality. None of this, ‘Yes sir, no sir,’ business. You need to have confidence in yourself, men don’t like women without confidence!”
Me: “Uh, I’m sorry sir. See, my job is–”
Customer: “Still with the yes sir, no sir! I don’t like it. Stop it!”
Me: *says nothing*
Customer: “Better.” *walks off to a table*
Not Always Right | Smooth Whipped CriminalCoffee Shop | Dallas, TX, USA
(We’d just opened one Sunday when a man comes in and robs us at gunpoint. During the robbery, the robber makes us lock the doors so no customers can come in. After he leaves, we were so upset that we didn’t think to unlock the doors. While we wait for the police to arrive, another man knocks on the door.)
Customer: “Are you open? I’d like to get a coffee.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’ve just been robbed at gunpoint, so we’re a little freaked out.”
Customer: “Well, did he steal the coffee? I can still get a latte, right?!”
Not Always Right | Not Born YesterdayTattoo Studio | Falkirk, Scotland, UK
(As a general rule, we refuse to tattoo anyone has had a baby in the last three months.)
Me: “Okay, so you’re getting this name?” *spells it out to check correct spelling*
Customer: “Yeah, can I get her date of birth underneath, too?”
Me: “Sure, what is it?”
Customer: “19th September.”
Me: “Um, today is the 24th November.”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “So, your daughter isn’t 3 months old yet. We can’t tattoo you for another few weeks. We explained this when you arranged your appointment and you told us she’d be 3 months old.”
Customer: “She’s 3 months old.”
Me: “She can’t be, this is the 11th month. She was born in the 9th month. So she isn’t 3 months old.”
Customer: “She’s 3 months old.”
Me: “No, she’s 2 months old. She was born in September, so she’ll be 3
Not Always Right | Domestically DimwittedRetail | Columbus, OH, USA
(Our store is famous for our women’s scents. I see a male customer looking uncomfortable.)
Customer: “Uh, miss? Can you help me?”
Me: “Of course. Who is it that you are shopping for today?”
Customer: “Well, we had a Secret Santa thing at the office, and I got this guy…um…he’s the kind of person with a domestic partner.”
Me: “Oh! I gotcha! We’ve got some great pre-made gift sets in the men’s department. There’s a wonderful shaving set and body washes, too.”
(I lead him to the men’s section. On the way, the customer sees a flowery red and pink gift box with one of our most popular woman’s fragrances inside.)
Customer: “What about this one? These are on sale, right?”
Me: “Well yes, but that’s really a more feminine fragrance, a strong floral. Let me show you–”
Customer: “No, no, no. DO-MES-TIC PART-NER. I re
Not Always Right | An Un-usual RequestFast Food | Bangor, ME, USA
Me: “What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “I’ll just have my usual.”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t know your usual.”
Customer: “They know it on [other location in town].”
Me: “We’re not that location, sir. What would you like?”
Customer: “Just call ‘em up and ask. I’ll wait!”
Not Always Right | I Scream For PizzaGelato Shop | Rome, Italy
(While working at a gelato shop in Rome, a tourist approaches me.)
Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’d like a pizza!”
Me: “We don’t sell pizza here. This is a gelato shop.”
Customer: “What are you talking about? This is Italy! Don’t you have pizza in Italy?”
Me: “Yes, we have pizza in Italy, but this is not a pizzeria, so we don’t sell pizza. There are pizzerias, though, if you look.”
Customer: “So this is Italy?”
Me: “Correct.”
Customer: “And this is a restaurant.”
Me: “Sort of, though we only sell the ice cream.”
Customer: “But this is ITALY.”
(After a few minutes of getting nowhere, my coworker attempts to help.)
Coworker: *jokingly* “Ma’am, if you want pizza, I can get you some for 100 euros.”
(100 euros is about $150 USD. Without hesitation, the customer pulls out two 50s and hands them to my cowo
Not Always Right | Fido's Fashion EmergencyPet Store | Calgary, AB, Canada
Me: “Thank you for calling [pet store], how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, operator. Can you please connect me to [pet store]?”
Me: “This is [pet store], ma’am.”
Customer: “[Pet store]! I NEED TO BE CONNECTED TO [pet store]!”
Me: “Ma’am, this is [pet store].”
Customer: “[Pet store!] I NEED TO BE CONNECTED IMMEDIATELY, IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”
Me: “Ma’am, this is [pet store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Oh, this is [pet store]? I’d like to buy a doggie sweater.”
Not Always Right | Urine Way Over Your Head Part 1Bookstore | Durham, NC, USA
(I was in the ladies room during a shift, wearing a skirt. This is key.)
Woman, in stall next to mine: “You’re not wearing any pants!”
(I ignore her, thinking she’s on the phone.)
Woman: *starts banging on the wall between us* “You’re not wearing any pants!”
Me: “…I’m…sorry?”
Woman: “You! You’re not wearing any pants!” *bangs some more*
Me: “And you know this how?”
Woman: “I can see your legs! They’re bare! You’re not wearing any pants!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m wearing a *skirt*.”
(The woman stops banging on the wall, and is completely silent. I never got to know what she thought of a woman wearing a skirt.)
Not Always Right | Urine Way Over Your Head Part 2Retail | San Antonio, TX, USA
(I worked for a large electronics chain as a repair tech. An older man came up to the counter with a 42″ TV.)
Customer: “I need to have this TV replaced. I bought it yesterday and it made a ‘buzz’ sound and won’t turn on anymore.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I just need to verify what’s wrong with the TV and then we can look swapping it out for you, if you have your receipt.”
(I walk over to the TV and notice an odd aroma lingering near it.)
Me: “Did your TV come into contact with any liquid, sir?”
Customer: “No…wait–does pee count as liquid?”
Not Always Right | Urine Way Over Your Head Part 3Library | Edmonton, AB, Canada
(I am working at the library reference desk. A teen patron approaches.)
Me: “Hi! What can I help you with?”
Customer: *looking away and fiddling with his hair* “Um…do you smoke pot?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
Customer: “See…there’s, like, this test right? And I’m not gonna be able to pass it, so can I like…um…buy your pee?”
Me: “No. That’s not a service we provide here.”
Customer: *slouches off*
Not Always Right | Jesus On The Dance FloorElectronics Retail | Calgary, AB, Canada
Customer: “Hey, you guys shouldn’t have this DVD on the shelf! It’s very inappropriate!”
(The customer hands me a copy of “Jesus Christ: Superstar”.)
Me: “What’s so bad about it?”
Customer: “It is inappropriate to portray the son of God like this! He is not a rockstar!”
Me: “Okay. Well, you can submit a complaint with our corporate office, because I can’t control what gets put on our shelves.”
Customer: “Okay, well I’m definitely adding in the fact that this DVD was horribly placed!”
Me: “Where was it?”
Customer: “It was on the floor! The son of God should not be on the floor!”
Not Always Right | The Devil Is In The RetailersRetail | Ohio, USA
Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What can I help you with today?”
Customer: “Do you have this product here?” *points to a video game in our ad*
Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just take that aisle down here and turn right. Near the doors are the video games.”
Customer: “Oh, alright! Thank you.”
(Shortly after, I get a call about TVs so head towards that section. After helping another guest out, the first guest shows up.)
Me: “Hello again, ma’am! Want me to show you where that game is you were looking for?”
Customer: “How did you do that?”
Me: “Do what, ma’am?”
Customer: “How did you appear like that? Magic?”
Me: “No, ma’am. I just–”
Customer: “It’s magic! You kids and your devil ways!”
Me: “I promise it’s not magic, ma’am. I just took a shortcut.”
Customer: “Through h***! Demon!&
Not Always Right | Takes One To Snow OneCoffee Shop | USA
Customer: “My goodness, this line is crazy! I’ve been in line ten minutes already! Why aren’t there more employees assisting us? Who is the manager here?”
Me: “Sir, I apologize for the delay. Due to the snow, I’ve had multiple employees call in saying they are unable to safely come to work this morning.”
Customer: “Well, that is just ridiculous! So an employee can decide that they don’t have to show up for work?”
Me: “If an employee feels they cannot safely report to work during severe weather conditions, we ask that they make their personal safety their primary concern.”
Customer: “Must be nice! You can just call and pretend to be concerned for your personal safety and then just take the day off? Makes you wonder what you people would do if you ever got a real job! It’s a good thing this isn’t making me late for my job today.”
(I seize on the opportunity and try to
Not Always Right | Why Our Contracts Are A Gazillion Pages Long Part 1Call Center | Indiana, USA
Caller: “Hello, my cellphone bill is more than it is supposed to be.”
Me: “Okay, I see that your bill is $4.00 more than normal. Let’s see why.”
Caller: “You had better figure this out. I’m not going to pay it if you’re trying to screw me!”
Me: “I see the problem, You actually called Canada.”
Caller: “I have nationwide calling! I can call Canada if I want to.”
Me: “Actually, if you have nationwide calling, you’re only okay in the United States.”
Caller: “So? Canada is part of North America.”
Me: “Yes, but not the United States…”
Caller: “What about Colorado?”
Me: “Yes, Colorado is okay.”
Caller: “What about… Vietnam?”
Me: “Umm, no, that would be a bit international.”
Caller: “Fine! I’ll pay it this time, but maybe you guys should be a bit more clear on w
Not Always Right | Questionable IntelligenceHotel | Alabama, USA
Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [hotel]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what room is beside 106?”
Me: “Um…room 107?”
Customer: “That’s the one! Thanks so much!” *hangs up*
Not Always Right | Bagging A DealMusic Store | Vancouver, Canada
Me: “Hello. Just so you know you with your purchase you can get any of these movies for $5.99, you save–”
Customer: “No! You know what? I am sick and tired of you people offering me things. I can’t come to the d*** mall without getting offered a deal. If I want something I will tell you, and you will give it to me. Understand?”
Me: “I’m sorry. Here’s your purchase.”
Customer: “Aren’t you going to offer me a bag?”
Not Always Right | Some Years Are More Golden Than OthersRestaurant | New Mexico, USA
(Note: I work at a restaurant where I have to wear an extremely conservative uniform with minimal makeup and jewelry. I’m serving two elderly ladies.)
Me: “Hey guys, how are y’all doing today? What can I get for you to drink?”
Customer #1: “Coffee.”
Customer #2: “Me too, please.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll have that right out for you.”
Customer #1 to #2: “Doesn’t she look like a gold digger?”
Customer #2: “I was thinking the same thing!” *to me* “Honey, are you a gold digger?”
Me: “Um, no, ma’am. I am just a waitress.”
Customer #1: “Well, come on now dear. It’s obvious that you’re a gold digger.”
Customer #2: “It’s nothing to be ashamed of! Be proud! In all my years of living, I’ve learned it’s the best thing to do–be a gold digger!”
Me: “What?”
Customer #2: &
Not Always Right | The Trim ReaperChristmas Tree Farm | Illinois, USA
Customer: “Are these real trees?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “I mean, are they live trees?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “So, we just go cut them down, right?”
Me: “That’s right!”
Customer: “Will it still be a live tree after we cut it down?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but cutting the tree down does mean the tree will die. However, if you water it daily, it should survive until Christmas.”
Customer: “But you said those were live trees!”
Not Always Right | Pink Is The New BlackBookstore | Portland, OR, USA
Caller: “Is this the store that sells those little Christmas trees in different colors? Including the one in black?”
Me: “Yes, it is. Are you interested in one?”
Caller: “No! I want to complain! You’re selling black Christmas trees! That’s satanic!”
Me: “I’m sorry. We sell lots of other colors, too. Pink, purple, neon green, silver.”
Caller: “Your store is owned by the Devil! Black is the color of Satan! You should be ashamed!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We sell many different colors of trees and a lot of customers really like the black tree. I can assure you, it’s just a Christmas tree.”
Caller: “Well, I don’t agree. I think black is satanic! Christmas trees should be green!”
Me: “I understand and will inform our manager of your feelings. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Caller: “Oh, yes…
Not Always Right | It's No Net LossCall Center | Glasgow, UK
Customer: “I’ve just received a leaflet for broadband from you. What’s broadband?”
Me: “It’s a faster type of internet.”
Customer: “What’s internet?”
Me: “It’s a method of accessing information through a computer.”
Customer: “What’s a computer?”
Me: “I don’t think this offer is for you, sir.”
Not Always Right | The Funny PharmacyRetail | United Kingdom
(I work in a shopping mall. On my lunch break, I visit the pharmacy. A woman runs into me.)
Customer: “You! Where do you keep your toilet paper?”
Me: “In my cupboard.”
Customer: “How dare you talk to me that way! I want to talk to your manager!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t work here.”
Customer: “Oh, so now you’re going to get into trouble, it’s ‘I don’t work here’, eh?”
Me: *pointing to the company logo on my shirt* “No, I genuinely do not work here. I work in [shop name], see?”
Customer: “So you don’t wear your uniform either? Where’s your manager?” *turns to make-up counter employee* “Are you her manager, missy?”
Make-up Counter Employee: “Yes, yes I am.” *turns to me, winking* “Don’t do that again.”
Customer: “Thank you! See, now I can shop here again!” *to make-
Not Always Right | Taking Stupidity To New HeightsGrocery Store | Victoria, BC, Canada
(At a large chain grocery store, we have run out of room in the back room. We’ve placed five or six pallets of pop up near our exit, and to keep people away from them we have placed caution tape around them. A customer comes up to me as I’m talking to my coworker.)
Customer: “Get my son down!”
Me: “What?”
Customer:“My son is climbing on your playground, so make him come down!”
Me: “Miss, we don’t have a playground! What are you talking about?”
(The customer leads us to her son who looks to be around five and is playing on the pallets.)
Customer: “I left him on your playground when I came in, and now he won’t come down!”
Me: “Please, those are stacks of pop and much too dangerous! You need to get your son down now!”
Customer: “No! It’s your playground and I don’t want to climb around the rope! You get him!”
Me, to cowor
Not Always Right | Driving Miss CrazyBus | Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
(I was coming home on the bus and overheard a conversation between an elderly lady and the bus driver.)
Lady: “Oof! Do you mind?! You’re so awful!”
Bus Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am? What’s the problem?”
Lady: “You keep starting and stopping the bus! I keep falling forward and backward, and it’s taking so long for me to get home. It’s getting dark!”
Bus Driver: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am – I have to stop at the designated stops.”
Lady: “Stop making excuses! There’s no reason to be doing this. Just ignore the stops!”
Bus Driver: “So you want me to ignore all the other people wanting to get on the bus?”
Lady: “Well, yes! Finally you understand! You can go back afterwards and get them! Is it so much to ask for good help anymore?!”
Not Always Right | Driving Miss Crazy Part IiPolice | Wyoming, USA
(We’ve had to close down a road due to a car crash in a snow storm. Fire trucks and ambulances are there with lights flashing to block the road. I’m at one side of the street directing traffic.)
Driver: *slows down looking at the scene* “What happened?”
Me: “Accident, ma’am. Please keep moving.”
Driver: “Can I go down the street? It’s a shortcut.”
Me: “The road is closed, but you need to keep moving…you are going to cause another accident.”
Driver: “I didn’t cause any accident! I’m a good driver, how dare you imply that I’m not! I’m just trying to get home, why are you being so rude! I will have your badge, you little b****!”
Me: “Ma’am if you are not going to move then you need to pull to the side of the road now!”
Driver: “I pay your salary! You are supposed to help people! Don’t you want me to get home? I have
Not A Poem Just What I Was Thinking To Myself.This is not a poem its more of what im thinking of. I look back in time and i remember the good and the bad things i done i know what happend in the past is done its behind you and you cant change it but dont you ever wonder that you will wake up and the next thing you know is that you are back to when you are little and know what the future will bring. For all the bad things i done in the past i wish i couldve done better. Ever since the passing of my grandmother who was like a second mother who took care of me since birth i havent been the same. My mind keeps going back in time to where i first thought of this dreadful day thinking about the day she passes what will i do? Well the thing i knew for sure was that i wouldnt be able to keep payments for my house i thought i was gunna be homeless. However thats not the case im actually living with the one i love and care alot about as well as she does for me. I have this lonliness in my mind on where im at i have nobody to turn to for sup
Not Always Right | They Don't Call Her Dumblesnore For NothingPool | USA
(Someone has been sleeping on a chair poolside for many hours. It’s routine to wake a customer if they’re getting too badly burned.)
Me: “Excuse me, miss? You must wake up. You are getting badly sunburned.”
Customer: *sleepily* “Where am I? Is this Hogwarts?”
Me: “No, ma’am.”
Customer: “Narnia?”
Me: “Nope.”
Customer: “Camp Half-Blood?”
Me: “Not even close.”
Customer: *pauses* “Well s***, then.”
Not Always Right | Trouble BrewingSupermarket | Arkansas, USA
(A customer puts beer on the table to buy.)
Me: “Can I see your ID please, sir?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t have it.”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell this to you. You have to have a valid ID.”
Customer: “Can’t you tell I’m 21?”
Me: “Yes, sir, but policy requires me to ID you if you look under 40.”
Customer: “Well, I have this…will it work? You guys have taken it before when I bought beer.”
(Customer hands me a pink government paper with his name and information on it.)
Me: “What is this?”
Customer: “My DUI report.”
Not Always Right | Bawk-bawk-moooRestaurant | Georgia, USA
Customer: “I was reading your menu. What is a smoked half-chicken?”
Me: “It’s half of a chicken that has been smoked over pecan wood.”
Customer: “What kind of chicken?”
Me: “Do you mean flavor? We don’t put any sauce on it…it’s served plain.”
Customer: “No…I mean what kind of chicken?”
Me: “Well, they just cut a whole chicken in half so you get the white and dark meat.”
Customer: “No! I mean, is it like from a cow or what?!”
Not Always Right | Where's A Real Live Robot When You Need OneCall Center | Fort Collins, CO, USA
Me: “Thanks for calling [credit card company], my name is ***. Can I get your first and last name, please?”
Caller: “I wanted to talk to the computer.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, the reason you got me is because [credit card company] is wanting to take care of you personally and let you know about–”
Caller: “I want to talk to the computer, not a person! I don’t like talking to people.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ve already got your account info up on the screen. I can give you the same info the computer lady can.”
Caller: “No! I want to talk to the computer! I don’t want to talk to a d*** agent! I wanted to get my balance from the computer!”
Me: “Ma’am, since I’ve got it up already, would you like me to just give you the info so you don’t have to call back? You’d still get an agent if you did.”
Caller: “NO! I
Not Always Right | Thou Shall Not Wear Boot CutRetail | Michigan, USA
Customer: “Excuse me, miss. These jeans just don’t seem to fit right.”
Me: “Well these are men’s jeans. We have plenty of women’s jeans over here, in the women’s department. Is there a size I can help you find?”
Customer: “You mean I just tried on men’s jeans?” *horrified look*
Me: “Yes, ma’am. These are men’s jeans. This is the men’s department.”
Customer: “OH MY GOD! The Bible forbids women to wear men’s clothes! I’m going to h***!”
Me: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You didn’t know. God won’t be angry.”
Customer: “That’s what you think. You obviously don’t know God then.” *storms off*
Not Always Right | You Are The Weakest LinkTech Support | Vancouver, BC, Canada
Me: “Tech support, how can I help you?”
Caller: “My [expletive] Internet is down, what’s wrong with you people?!”
Me: “Well, let’s find out ma’am. Do you mind troubleshooting a bit to find out what the problem is?”
Caller: *huge sigh* “Fine, but I’ve checked everything already.”
Me: “Okay. First, let’s look at your modem lights. Do you see the link light on?”
Caller: “No. No lights are on.”
Me: “Alright. Can you check the power cable to see if it’s plugged in?”
Caller: “I can’t see anything, the power is out.”
Me: “Well, that might be our problem then.”
Caller: “What the h*** are you talking about?! This is the exact reason I bought a laptop–for it to work when there is a power outage!”
Me: “Right, but where does your internet connection come from?”
Caller: &
Not Always Right | Time Zoned OutCall Center | Vancouver, BC, Canada
(A customer calls in from Los Angeles.)
Caller: “How late are you open there?”
Me: “5 pm.”
Caller: “Yeah, but like, what time zone?”
Me: “5 pm, Pacific Standard Time.”
Caller: “What time would that be here?”
Me: “Sir, we are directly north of you so we are on the same clock as you–Pacific Standard Time.”
Caller: “Well, I don’t know your Canadian time zones! What’s that in American?”
Me: “Sir, what time is it there?”
Caller: “3:00 pm”
Me: “It is 3:00 pm here as well, we are on the same time. We close in two hours at 5 pm your time.”
Caller: “Wait a minute! It’s the same time there? Don’t you have your own time?”
Not Always Right | No Flirting AloudRetail | Midland, MI, USA
(I’m scanning out an elderly couple. The man is obviously hard of hearing.)
Me: “Hello, and how are you folks today?”
Customer: “You look so young. Why is that?”
Me: “I’m only 19.”
Customer: “What?”
Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S NINETEEN!”
Customer: “Oh…do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “I’m engaged, actually.”
Customer: “What?”
Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S ENGAGED!”
Customer: “Oh…do you want to go out with me sometime?”
Me: “Uh…here, I’ll just finish scanning your items for you.”
Customer: “What?”
Customer’s Wife: “SHE TURNED YOU DOWN!”
Not Always Right | Many Problems To AddressPost Office | Phoenix, AZ, USA
Customer: “Excuse me, I sent a letter last week but it came back. Can you tell me why?”
Me: “Sure, do you have it with you?”
(The customer hands it over. It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem.)
Me: “Oh, okay. You’re going to need a valid house address to have it sent.”
Customer: “I did put the address!”
Me: “That’s an email address, ma’am.”
Customer: “Yes, and it’s valid. I checked!”
Not Always Right | Brain Parked In NeutralMovie Theater | Downers Grove, IL, USA
Customer: “Hi, um, my car was stolen.”
Me: “Well, okay, let’s go out and see where you’re parked.”
(We walk into the parking lot.)
Me: “Okay, where did you park?”
Customer: “Right there, where the Prius is parked! God d*** tree-hugging democrat piece of s***!”
Me: “Okay, well, let’s go inside and call the police.”
(While we wait for the police to come she makes some phone calls and then comes back into the office.)
Customer: “Sorry, never mind. Turns out I drove the Prius today and not the Honda.”
Not Always Right | How About Some Dessert Instead?Restaurant | Ireland
(I have a table of four foreign business-men. One of them looks very sad.)
Sad customer: “And also, you bring me tea because this country is very cold and I am sick.”
Me: “I’m sorry you’re not well. Of course I’ll bring you some tea.”
Sad customer: “…and then you marry me, because no-one will marry me.”
Not Always Right | Elementry, My Dear Mr. DarcyMovie Theater | Utah, USA
Customer:“I want a refund! Sherlock Holmes was possibly the worst film adaptation of a Jane Austin book I’ve ever seen!”
Me: “Sherlock Holmes was not written by Jane Austen. It was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”
Customer:“I thought there was something odd about it. Well, I guess it really is nothing at all like her other books. Silly me!”
Not Always Right | Extra Crime RibRestaurant | Grants Pass, OR, USA
Customer: “I ordered a large prime rib last time I was here and it was awful! I want a new one.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am I will be happy to remake it for you. We’ll have it ready for you in a few minutes.”
(I make a sandwich while the woman strolls over to the chips, hides a bag in her jacket and takes it to her truck. She comes inside with a water bottle, fills it up with soda and takes a seat.)
Me: “Ma’am, your sandwich is ready. So you had a large prime rib and a bag of chips.”
Customer: “I didn’t have chips!”
Me: “Yes ma’am, you took a bag of chips to your truck. We have it on camera.”
Customer: “Okay, maybe I got chips.”
Me: “And I have to charge you for a medium drink.”
Customer: “I didn’t get a drink!”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. You filled up your water bottle with soda.”
Customer: “But it’
Not Always Right | Cookie Cutter ResponseTech Support | Perth, Australia
Me: “Tech support, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Why are you holding my website to ransom?”
Me: “Sorry?”
Customer: “I pay you good money every month and now you’re holding my site to ransom to sell your cookies!”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Customer: “I went to my site and when I tried to add to cart, it came up saying I couldn’t until I bought some cookies! I never agreed to this and I’m going to sue!”
Me: “Sir, cookies is just a computing term. What you saw was the page explaining that you have cookies switched off and telling you how to turn them on.”
Customer: “Cookies! Blackberries! Well I don’t know these kind of technical things!”
Not Always Right | Back Tea The BasicsTea Shop | Minneapolis, MN, USA
Me: “For a quick cup of tea, this is a simple infuser to use.”
Customer: “Infuser? What’s that mean?”
Me: “Oh, it’s just another word for something that you use to steep tea in hot water.”
Customer: “What’s that mean?”
Me: “Steep? It’s just another word for brewing.”
Customer: *blank stare*
Me: “It means ‘make tea’.”
Customer: “Oooooh!”
Not Always Right | Wireless, Clueless And HelplessTech Support | Limburg, Belgium
(A customer calls into our tech support line and says she is having a problem with her computer.)
Me: “So, do you see an error message?”
Customer: “No, I don’t get any errors. I don’t get anything!”
Me: “Okay, what do you see on your monitor?”
Customer: “I only get a black screen. Can you please fix it? I have a paper due tomorrow.”
Me: “Ma’am, if your screen is black, that means your laptop isn’t turned on. Are there any lights lit?”
Customer: “I don’t see any lights…”
Me: “Well, can you try pressing the power button?”
Customer: “That doesn’t work.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry, but I think there’s a problem with your computer.”
Customer: “That’s impossible! I just bought it!”
Me: “Hmm, strange. Did you charge the battery?”
Customer: “Wha
Not Always Right | Wireless, Clueless And Helpless IiComputer Shop | United Kingdom
Me: “Hi there, can I help you?”
Customer: “Oh, yes. I need a…” *looks a hand written list* “…wireless Ethernet cable?”
Me: “A…wireless cable?”
Customer: “Oh, do they not make them anymore?”
Not Always Right | Wireless, Clueless And Helpless IiiVideo Game Store | California, USA
Me: “Thanks for calling [store], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hello. I have a console that can connect to the internet and every time I try to connect it asks for a password. It didn’t used to do that. Is there any way I can create a password for it?”
Me: “That’s odd. Did you get a new router for your internet connection?”
Customer: “A what?”
Me: “Do you have wireless internet in your house?”
Customer: “I don’t have internet.”
Me: “Sir, you are connecting to your neighbor’s internet. They didn’t like it so they put a password on their network so that you can’t connect to it.”
Customer: “So can I set up a password and connect to it?”
Not Always Right | Can't Cedar Forest For The TreesRetail | Westchester, OH, USA
Customer: “These Christmas trees all look so fake! I want to get one fresh from the Everglades!”
(I chuckle, and then realize he is serious.)
Me: “Sir, the Everglades aren’t exactly known for there Christmas trees.”
Customer: “Oh yeah! I forgot, it’s all frozen.”
Me: “No sir, the Everglades are in the middle of Florida.”
Customer: “Oh, well I was never good at geometry anyway.”
Not Always Right | Deafening SilenceBookstore | Ottawa, ON, Canada
Customer: “It’s so loud in here!”
Me: “I know right? Christmas is crazy for us every year.”
Customer: “It’s so loud, why do people have to talk so loudly?”
Me: “Sorry sir, it’s just because there’s so many people.”
Customer: “Forget this! I’m turning off my hearing aid. You guys should really try to keep the noise level down.”
Me: “Right you are sir! If that’ll be all, your total is ***.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Your total, sir? It’s ***.”
Customer: “Speak up! I can’t hear you!”
Not Always Right | Getting To The Root Of The ProblemTheater | Phoenix, AZ, USA
(I am selling souvenir programs and backpacks for Legally Blonde: The Musical in the lobby. The customer I’m talking to is a brunette; so am I.)
Me: “Would you like a souvenir program?”
Customer: “But you’re not blond.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am? Would you like a program?”
Customer: “This is Legally Blonde! You should be blond.”
Me: *thinking she’s joking* “You know, it’s funny…I was blond for six months and just dyed my hair back to my natural color before I found out this show was coming.”
Customer: *completely serious* “But you are not blond!”
Me: “No ma’am, I am not.”
Customer: “Why would they let you sell things for the show when you are not blond?”
Me: “Well, you don’t have to be blond to work at the theater.”
Customer: “But it’s Legally BLONDE!”
Me: *giving up* &ld
Not Always Right | Book You In For Six (feet Under)Tech Support | New Mexico, USA
(My boss passed away earlier this year. Her phone forwards to mine so that I can redirect individuals that need assistance.)
Customer: “Hi, can I speak to Dr. ***?”
Me: “I’m sorry, Dr. *** passed away earlier this year. Is there something I can help you with instead?”
Customer: “No, I think I’ll just call back. When do you think she’ll be in?”
Me: “Ma’am, she passed away.”
Customer: “Right…so when will she be in? Can I call back tomorrow?”
Me: “Ma’am, she’s dead.”
Customer: “Oh…how about Monday then?”
Not Always Right | Never Too Sick To ComplainDoctor | Atlanta, GA, USA
Me: “Thanks for calling [clinic]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I got this herbal colon cleanser from you. Does it have pork in it? I don’t eat pork, so I can’t have it if it has pork.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m not sure, but since it is an herbal supplement I would assume it has no pork. If you are really concerned, you can call the number on the bottle and ask them. I’m looking at the bottle and it says 100% vegan.”
Customer: “Well, I can’t call the company. I’m sick! I’m so sick, I can’t use a phone!”
Me: “Well, it says vegan on the bottle, but I can call the company myself if you want.”
Customer: “Well, DO IT! I’m a sick lady, and I don’t do pork!”
(I call the company and find out the supplement has no pork. I call the customer back.)
Me: “Okay, ma’am. There are no pork or animal products in this supp
Not Always Right | Fuel For (lack Of) ThoughtCall Center | Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “My son told me to get broadband I’d have to pay more money, but I told him that there was this thing from the phone company you put on your telephone chord that gave you broadband.”
Me: “You mean a noise canceler, sir? That is only for DSL lines through the phone company, not through us.”
Customer: “Diesel…yeah, that’s what I want! So, can you hook me up with diesel broadband?”
Me: “Sir, I’m sorry we don’t offer D-S-L Lines. You have to call your phone company and have them installed.”
Customer: “Do you have unleaded lines?”
Me: “Sir, it’s DSL. Not diesel as in the fuel.”
Customer: “You’re not a very good company then. You’re saying I can’t get diesel from you, but then telling me I can’t get unleaded either.”
Me: “Sir, if you just call your
Not Always Right | Who Are You Gonna Call: SawdustersFurniture Store | North Miami, FL, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [furniture store], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, you make custom furniture right?”
Me: “Yes, we do.”
Customer: “Okay, can you make a table and maybe some chairs out of this tree in my front yard?”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we don’t actually do any of the tree cutting. We get all of our wood from a lumber yard.”
Customer: “But the city says I need to cut down this tree right away or I’ll be fined!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do anything about that.”
Customer: “Well, screw you, then! My grandfather planted this tree here! He’s going to haunt you till you die! HAUNT YOU TILL YOU DIE!”
Not Always Right | All Signs Point To YesRetail | Vancouver, BC, Canada
(A customer is at the refund counter to return a DVD player. I get called over to inspect it, because I work in the electronics department.)
Coworker: “Alright, everything seems okay. May I see your receipt?”
(The customer hands over her receipt, but it’s dated July. It was November at the time. Our return policy only allows for 45 days.)
Coworker: “Ma’am, I cannot give you a refund, because this is from July.”
Customer: “But the electronics associate said I can return it anytime!”
Coworker: “Do you remember who it was?”
Customer: “It was that young man!” *points towards me*
Me: “Ma’am, I have never told you such a thing.”
Customer: “Yes you did! Are you calling me a liar?!”
Me: “Well, I’m just a seasonal worker who got hired two weeks ago, so…”
Not Always Right | All Signs Point To DuhVideo Game Store | Australia
Customer: “I bought these games yesterday, and I don’t want them. I want my money back.”
Me: “Sorry, but I can’t give you cash back. I can exchange them for credit so you can choose something else.”
Customer: “I was not told that when I bought them.”
Me: “Yeah, sorry… but we do have signs up.” *I point to two of these signs*
Customer: “Well, I’m illiterate, so I couldn’t know! Now give me my f***ing money!”
Me: “As I said, I am sorry, but I can only do it as credit.”
Customer: “But, there was no way I could know that when I bought them! I’m illiterate!”
Me: “Well, there was no way we could know that when you bought them. Perhaps you could get a sign?”
Not Always Right | All Signs Point To NoSmoothie Shop | Oregon, USA
(A customer pulls up and parks in a handicapped spot in front of the store.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “I’ll take a fresh squeezed orange juice.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, we just cleaned our juicer and the chemical that we use had to dry or else it’s toxic. We won’t be able to squeeze any juice until tomorrow.”
Customer: “What the f***? This is the second time this has happened.”
Me: “Well, we clean it a half hour before we close–”
Customer: “You should put up a sign!”
Me: “Oh, um. Well, I’ll mention that to my manager–”
Customer: “PUT UP A SIGN!”
Me: “Sir, I don’t have the authority to do that, but I’ll–”
Customer: “JUST PUT UP A SIGN!”
Me: “Oh, and you’re parked in a handicapped zone.”
Customer: “THEY SHOULD–”
Me: &ldqu
Not Always Right | Tricky Customers Are KillerTour | Vancouver Island, Canada
(I am taking tourists on a boat to see wild killer whales.)
Me: “If anyone has any questions during the charter, I would be happy to answer them.”
Customer: “So, when does the show start?”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer: “The show. You know, like Shamu and stuff?”
Me: “You do know that these are wild animals, right?”
Customer: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “These are wild animals. They don’t do tricks like you would see in an aquarium.”
Customer: “They don’t?”
Me: “No. They do not.”
Customer: “Oh, I see.” *pause* “So, when do you feed them?”
Me: “We don’t feed these animals. They are wild. They feed themselves.”
Customer: “I thought you said they didn’t do tricks?”
Not Always Right | Stupidity Is Its Own RewardGrocery Store | Bethesda, MD, USA
Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”
Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”
Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”
Customer: “How old are you?”
Me: “Seventeen.”
Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”
Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”
Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”
Not Always Right | Too Much ShinformationRetail | Winkler, MB, Canada
Me: “Hi there sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”
Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”
Me: “Oh, well–”
Customer: “Wait, I can check!”
(The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)
Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is, find my size!”
Not Always Right | Unlimited Minutes, Limited IntelligenceCall Center | Manchester, UK
Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company] how can I help?”
Customer: “I’ve just received my bill and it says I only have 500 SMS to use this month. I’m supposed to have unlimited SMS!”
Me: “You have 500 SMS included with your service. However you have an extra service on your account which gives you unlimited SMS.”
Customer: “But when I call for my balance it says I only have 500 SMS. I want unlimited SMS!”
Me: “When you get your balance it will always tell you that you have 500 SMS. It can’t tell you a number when it’s unlimited.”
Customer: “Well, I want it to tell me how many unlimited texts I have left!”
Me: “Think about what you just said, madam.”
Customer: “Oh…”
Not Always Right | A Minor TruthSupermarket | Australia
(We have some yogurt and tomato paste which come in two packs. A customer will often come up with one tub, the one which will have no barcode on it, and we have to go find the other one in the pair.)
Me: “Oh, this is just a single. Do you have the other half?”
Customer: “No, it was just like this on the shelf.”
Me: “Ok, well these come in two packs. Did you see the other one of the shelf?”
Customer: “Yeah, I did, I’ll just go get it.”
(The customer goes and gets the other half.)
Customer’s Child: “Mummy, where did you go?”
Customer: “I had to go get the other half of this.”
Customer’s Child: “But didn’t you just break that in half?”
Customer: “No I didn’t.”
Customer’s Child: “Yes you did.”
Customer: “No, it was just like this.”
Customer’s Child: “Yes you did! I remember you saying y
Not Always Right | Skynet: The Early YearsVideo Rental | Kimberley, BC, Canada
(Note: I’m making calls to let people know that the movies they reserved are in.)
Me: “Hi there, this is Sarah from [video rental store]. I’m just calling to let you know the movie you reserved is now in if you’d like to come pick it up.”
Customer: “Oh, for Pete’s sake. These stupid f***ing recordings! I can’t believe even friggin [video rental store] has them now. You hear that, you stupid f***ing robot? YOU F***ING PIECE OF ROBOT S***!
Me: “Um…sir? I am an actual person.”
Customer: *hangs up*
Not Always Right | D'ohpeRetail | Florida, USA
Customer: “Why was my return denied?”
Me: “Ma’am, the system is showing us that you have recently made a lot of returns without a receipt. When this happens, corporate flags your ID and you can’t make any non-receipt returns for a while. It’s to prevent theft.”
Customer: “I’m not stealing. In fact, I have a lot of money. My boyfriend is a street pharmacist and he has a lot of money.”
Me: “A what, ma’am?”
Customer: “A street pharmacist! He sells dope.”
Me: “That is more information than I want to know ma’am. You have a good day.”
Not Always Right | Even Rabbits Go Through Bad PatchesGrocery Store | Seattle, WA, USA
Customer: “Where can I find your carrot tops?”
Me: “We don’t sell carrot tops, but you can buy the whole carrot.”
Customer: “But I need to feed my rabbit her carrot tops!”
Me: “If people buy carrots would you like me to ask them if they’d like their carrot tops cut off and I can save them for you?”
Customer: “Oh that’d be lovely! I’ll come back next week after her therapy session. Her therapist thinks she has an anxiety disorder.”
Not Always Right | The Economy Class Is Now In Sessionairline | Philadelphia, PA, USA
(Halfway into a three hour and forty-five minute flight, a well-dressed and seemingly educated passenger rings her call button. She is frantic.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Passenger: “I’m going to miss my connecting flight!”
Me: “No, we’re on time. All connections will be made.”
Passenger: “No! I’m going to miss my connection!”
Me: “All reservations are made so as to give you plenty of time to make your connecting flights, even if we’re a little late. But we’re scheduled to arrive on time today.”
Passenger: “Well, if we arrive on time, then I will miss my connection!”
Me: “May I see your ticket, please?”
Passenger: “I. Don’t. Think. You. Understand! It is a three-hour and 45-minute flight. So if we left Philadelphia at 9, then we won’t get into Denver until 12:45. MY flight leaves at noon. SO YOU SEE, I AM GOI
Not Always RightConvenience Store | Seattle, WA, USA
Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”
Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”
Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”
Customer: “But it says credit!”
Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”
Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”
(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)
Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”
(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)
Not Always Right | Information UnderloadConvenience Store | Seattle, WA, USA
Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”
Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”
Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”
Customer: “But it says credit!”
Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”
Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”
(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)
Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”
(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)
Not Always Right | Not To La Boar The PointGrocery Store | California, USA
Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. What would you like, sir?”
Customer: “Actually, I have a question. What is ham made of?”
Me: “It’s made of pigs.”
Customer: “Pigs? What are pigs made of?”
Me: “Pigs, the animal.”
Customer: *confused look*
Me: “Oink oink.”
Customer: “Oh! Does that mean it’s not vegan?”
Not Around MuchI have been busy alot lately..and tired. Not sure if somethings wrong with me..physically or just that I dont sleep much. Anyways.. I have not felt like being on here much. When I am on here.. I sit and wonder ,,why?
I have maybe 3 who really give a damn about me. Those who I got added to my family..I wonder why? Yes..at one time they cared..and talked to me..but as of lately.. barely many do.
I guess I am burnt out on here. Why come to a place..where you can be replaced as a friend so easily?
I guess I come back..for those very few who do care..
I can only take so much though.. and I am about to that point.
Its bad enough..hardly anyone talks much. I barely get rated much..orloved on any. WTF do you have to do to get attn on here? I have seen humungous cows even get attn. Maybe its the fact I dont freakin talk dirty to you.. or show you what you want.
If thats what it takes.. then so be it.. I will just delete .
Not A Good DayStart off the day with a trip to the orthodontist. FUN! I can't eat yet again because it feels like ice picks stabbing me in the nerve, swollen face. Truly, sick of this wire crap. Granted, had a new panoramic x-ray done and the change is beyond amazing. I never really thought my mouth was in that bad of shape before. Sure, I had an underbite and they weren't straight straight, but I didn't think it was THAT bad. I stand corrected. LOL
Then the delightful fools online that insist you wanna see their Yahoo sized cocks on cam. Serously! If that's all you can offer, then you're just really pathetic.
Muttle through the day. Train to bus. Par the course, the bus is late. The driver doesn't care. It's his last run for the night. On the bus and now to get out of the station. You need to make U to get out. Waiting, waiting. One of the CTA line operators tell our driver to use the other lane. FINALLY, on my way home.
Glance out the window to see what was causing the delay. A person laying fl
Not All Terrorism: Obama Tries To Change SubjectNot all terrorism: Obama tries to change subject
By MATT APUZZO – 20 hours ago
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama's advisers plan to remove terms such as "Islamic radicalism" from a document outlining national security strategy and will use the new version to emphasize that the U.S. does not view Muslim nations through the lens of terrorism, counterterrorism officials say.
The change would be a significant shift in the National Security Strategy, a document that previously outlined the Bush Doctrine of preventive war. It currently states, "The struggle against militant Islamic radicalism is the great ideological conflict of the early years of the 21st century."
The officials described the changes on condition of anonymity because the document is still being written and is unlikely to be released for weeks, and the White House would not discuss it. But rewriting the strategy document is the latest example of Obama putting his stamp on U.S. foreign policy, as with his pr
Not AgainObama once again engages in public acts of treason against the united states and gets away with it by backing Taliban war criminals and encouraging Afghanistan to support them and offer opportunities to return to power' Al Jazeera Wednesday, May 12, 2010 21:31 Mecca time, 18:31 GMT'.These people Kill innocent men women and children from all walks of life Including terroristic acts on US soil .remember september 11th 2001? and not even for religious beliefs but for thier own power hungry rolls and profit from Afhanistans national product Heroine 'What tha fuck is wrong with these people? and why isnt once again Obama in Jail ?
Not A Joke!!!Police Warning to Online Members
State police warning for online: Please read this "very carefully"..then send
it out to all the people online that you know. Something like this is nothing
to be taken casually; this is something you DO want to pay attention to.
If a person with the screen-name of DreamWeaverGrey contacts you, do not
reply. DO not talk to this person; do not answer any of whispers or requests
for private in Pogo. Whoever this person may be, he/she is a suspect for murder in the deaths of 56 women (so far) contacted through the Internet.
Please send this to all the women on your buddy list and ask them to pass this on, as well. This screen-name has also been seen on Yahoo, AOL, AIM, and Excite so far.
This is not a joke! Please send this to men too...just in case! Send to
everyone you know! Ladies, this is serious.
Jennifer S. Faulkner Education/Information Specialist
Roanoke Fire-EMS
541 Luck Avenue, Suite 120 Roanoke, VA 24016
(540) 853-2257 (phone)
Not Always Right | Sometimes The Customer Is Right About Being WrongCall Center | Los Angeles, CA, USA
Me: “Hi, I’m calling from [Company] verifying that you are looking for information on a loan modification.”
Caller: “I was, until I found out you could you couldn’t help me.”
Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure why you think that. We have been able to help lots of people. If you would like, I can connect you with a counselor who will be able to let you know what can be done.”
Caller: “You can’t do anything for me.”
Me: “I can assure you that there is something we can do. At least we can provide you with some information.”
Caller: “You can’t do anything unless you are able to invade the Chinese.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Caller: “The only way you can help me is by invading the Chinese.”
Me: “Well, sir, I think you are right. I don’t think there is anything we can do for you. Have a nice day.”
Not Always Right | Stupid BytesRetail | Tennessee, USA
Me: “Thanks for coming in! Anything I can help you find today?”
Customer: “I need the internet.”
Me: “Okay. You need to get connected to the internet at your house?”
Customer: “No! I need the internet, idiot. Don’t you guys sell them here with lots of gigglebites and dial-up modems and the like?”
Me: “You need a computer tower then? We have plenty of those.”
Customer: “No! I need the internet! My friend has an internet and its fast and has 10 gigglebites.”
Me: “Okay, I will do everything I can to help you. I would also recommend you grab a copy of one of our guides that should be a great help.”
(I show him a copy of Computers for Dummies.)
Customer: “Does it come with the internet?”
Not AgainI started with loneliness
felt empty
hollow
the hollows
of my body
touched
my eyes close
I drift
your hands learning
the ripples of pleasure
in my skin
taste each rushing breath
with a trace amount of smile
I watch you slowly
meticulously
finding the warmest part of me
forcing my beauty
to scream through all of my fears
vulnerability
tearing through walls
walls now seemingly built of nothing
I cry
I pain
I force all of who I am onto you
with sweat
tears
oceans, waves of instant compassion
felt like days
of storms within my soul
made me crave more
every second you gave me less
my own muscles tearing away from each other
the will of a child
you hands created this
me
shuddering beneanth you
and
you whisper
"now its my turn...."
Not Always Right | She Has ‘trouble’ Written All Over HerShe Has ‘Trouble’ Written All Over Her
Tattoo Parlor | Atlanta, GA, USA
Customer: “Yeah, I want to see about getting a tattoo. Can you guys do that?”
Me: “Sure. Do you have something in particular in mind?”
Customer: “I don’t know? Something pretty?”
Me: “Like a butterfly? A flower?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a word or something? Something that means something? Do you have a book of words and what they mean?”
Me: “You mean like…a dictionary?”
Not Again.....Well it seems that Ghana is USA's achilles heel in the World Cup. 4 years ago they eliminated USA 2-1 in group play. This year they eliminate USA in the round of 16 by a score of 2-1. This game went into overtime to decide the winner. USA had a very good appearance in the tournament; but, can't help but feel that if they played defense in the first 10 minutes of games they would win handily.
Congratulations to Ghana.
Not Always Right | Vocabulary, Meet Veracity(I work at a daycare center and am teaching a room full of two year-old children to memorize their parents’ or guardians’ names and home phone numbers.)
Me: “So, what’s your daddy’s name?”
Little girl: “Robert!”
Me: “And what’s your mommy’s name?”
Little girl: “Dammitjulia!”
(Needless to say, “Robert” had a little talking-to when he came to pick up his daughter.)
Not Always Right | Till Password Reset Do Us PartCall Center | Glasgow, UK
Me: “Okay, all I need now is the security password you gave us when you opened your account.”
Customer: “No idea.”
Me: *seeing the password is a girl’s name* “Most people choose something or someone familiar…”
Customer: “Lisa? Scott? Elizabeth? Rusty? Oh! Is it my mother’s maiden name?”
Me: “No, so I’m just going to check if you’ve left yourself a hint but it takes a second.”
Customer: “Well there’s just no point in you checking it has to be one of those names. I never ever use anything else. If I did, I don’t know it. I must have set this years ago. How am I supposed to remember that?”
Me: “Are you sure you don’t one more try? Your hint is ‘wife’.”
Customer: “Emma! Don’t tell her I forgot that!”
Not A Happy CamperI used to do group counselling sessions for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. One of the exercises we did (I think it was replicating a study, I'm not sure and it's really not the point) was have people imagine a line that reflected the spectrum of 'bad abuse' (ie 'not so bad' to 'horrific')- and then get them to place themselves on it. It was amazing how people, whose stories would make even the most self-absorbed malcontent on this site stop and think for maybe a nanosecond, would always put themselves at the lower end of the scale. Nobody ever stood at the horrific end. There was always, to them, someone that had it worse than them.
Now if I tried to replicate that on this site...in the more general sense...I'm pretty sure there'd be a pile-up at the horrific end. There'd probably be people ripping out each others' eyeballs in an attempt to get to the 'most horrific' spot. The "oh you don't knowwwwwwwww" and "you don't understandddddddd"s would be deafening.
And tha
Not Always Right - Of Half-baked Requests And Baked-in ClothesOf Half-Baked Requests And Baked-In Clothes
Retail | Calgary, AB, Canada
(I work in a custom ceramics shop were we offer a touch-up/repainting service. A woman in a formal dress comes in with an armful of garden gnomes.)
Customer: “I need these gnomes to match this dress.”
Me: “Okay, we can do that. Do you mind if we take a picture for reference?”
Customer: “It’s for a wedding.”
Me: “That’s nice.”
Customer: “It’s this afternoon.”
Me: “This afternoon?”
Customer: “Yes, at three. What, did you think I just walked around dressed like this all the time?”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t help you. It would take the better part of a day just to paint all these little guys, and it takes at least three hours for the glaze to dry completely.”
Customer: “You don’t need to paint them! Just get them to change their little clothes!&rdq
Not Always Right | Naturally StupidHotel | Minnesota, USA
Me: “Front desk, how can I help you?”
Customer: “There’s a noise outside and it’s keeping me awake.”
Me: “What does it sound like ma’am?”
Customer: “Squeaky toys or something. Do you allow dogs here?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do, but they’re all on the first floor. Let me see if we anyone is out back and I’ll call you right back to let you know what I find out.”
(I go and check out back and there isn’t anyone out there. However, the sound of the early spring frogs is deafening. I call her back.)
Me: “Ma’am, those are frogs.”
Customer: “Well, can you turn them off?”
Me: “No ma’am, they’re frogs.”
Customer: “Well, I didn’t come here for your nature sounds. I’m only staying here because I need a place to sleep. I refuse to pay for the sound of frogs.”
Me: “Well, the na
Not Always Right | Naturally Stupid Part IiCall Center | New York, NY, USA
Caller: “I can’t access [cable channel]!”
Me: “Okay, let me assess your problem. When was the last time you tried to access [channel]?”
Caller: “It was last night.”
Me: “Alright, was there any out-of-the-ordinary weather last night? Say, like a storm?”
Caller: “Yeah, there was a thunderstorm. I had nothing to do, so I was trying to watch [channel name], but it wouldn’t let me! It was all fuzzy on the screen.”
Me: “Sir, I think the thunderstorm interfered with your television power lines, which is why you couldn’t access your channel.”
Caller: “But I thought your cable company was supposed to make me able to watch any channel in any weather! That’s the whole reason I switched!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, nothing can prevent Mother Nature. When she strikes, we cannot do anything to bring back channels that may have been lost moment
Not Always Right | Not To La-boar The PointGrocery Store | California, USA
Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. What would you like, sir?”
Customer: “Actually, I have a question. What is ham made of?”
Me: “It’s made of pigs.”
Customer: “Pigs? What are pigs made of?”
Me: “Pigs, the animal.”
Customer: *confused look*
Me: “Oink oink.”
Customer: “Oh! Does that mean it’s not vegan?”
Not Always Right | Who's The Dumbest Of Them AllRetail | Winnipeg, MB, Canada
Customer: “Are these mirrors weird?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “These mirrors, are they weird?”
Me: “Not to my knowledge.”
Customer: *looks in mirror* “But that’s not me!”
Not As Skepticalok so ive been on fu for a couple of days,and i have to admit that i have been having fun. In fact I find myself coming here quite a bit. So a big high five to fubar for being a one of a kind place,and i hope i have as much fun a year from now as i am right now
Not Always Right | Rectify The SituationPharmacy | UK
Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. do you sell them?”
Me: “Why do you need it?”
Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”
Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”
(I call the pharmacist in who explains to the man exactly what a rectum is. He leaves red faced.)
Not Always Right | Benefits Are All About Sustaining LaborCall Center | UK
Me: “Hello, benefit section new claims.”
Caller: “My wife wants to claim for a baby.”
Me: “Your wife just had a child? How old is the child?”
Caller: “2 years old.”
Me: “I’m sorry, if the child is that old you cannot receive additional benefits.”
Caller: “But we need money.”
Me: “I understand but it’s too late now, she could have claimed 11 weeks before the child was born or up until it was a year old. There is nothing we can do now.”
Caller: “So how does my wife get money for a baby?”
Me: “Well, she needs to be pregnant.”
Caller: “Okay! I will call you back.”
Not Always Right | Ain’t No Mountain Wry Enough Aka Ike?Fast Food | Melbourne, Australia
Me: “…and a large Dew.”
Customer: “I’m sorry, did you just call me a Jew?”
Customer’s wife: “But honey, you are a Jew.”
Me: “Oh no, sorry. I meant a large Mountain Dew.”
Customer: “Oh really? Really, I’m flattered but I’ve never been to the mountains.”
Me: “Ah, sorry?”
Customer: *comically bangs his fists against his chest* “I am the large mountain Jew!”
Customer’s wife: * to me* “I am so sorry about him. Honestly, I can’t take him anywhere.”
Me: “Really, it’s fine.”
Customer: “The large mountain Jew goes anywhere he wants to!”
Not Always Right | The Estrogen Empire Strikes BackFast Food | Calgary, Alberta, Canada
(A customer had a complaint about his food. He refused to let the girl working the register help him.)
Man: “I want to talk to a manager.”
Female employee: “Yes, sir.”
(The employee gets a Shift Manager to help her.)
Shift Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”
Man: “No, I want a manager!”
Shift Manager: “I am a Shift Manager, sir.”
Man: “I want to see the Store Manager!”
Shift Manager: “Uhm, okay sir, I’ll be right back.”
(I was in the office working on the crew schedules for the next week. Sara comes in and asks me to deal with the customer. She didn’t need to explain. I’d heard it all… he was very loud. I went to help deal with the situation.)
Me: “Can I help you, sir?”
Man: “I want to see a f**king God-da** Manager! Where’s the @#$%ing Store Manager?”
Me: “I am the store Manager, Sir.”
Not Always Right | The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back Part 2Movie Theater | St. Paul, MN, USA
(A middle-aged male customer comes from the hallway of theaters and walks up to the booth.)
Customer: “Yeah, is there anyway I can get a refund for this movie? Sex In The City?”
Me: “Yeah, sure. May I ask why you’d like a refund?”
Customer: “It’s…not what I thought it was gonna be.”
Not Always Right| The Fourth Is Not Strong With This OneHotel | Traverse City, MI, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling the [hotel]. How may I direct your call?”
Customer: *in a British accent* “I need a room for tonight.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are booked.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “It’s the 4th of July. We’re always booked on the 4th.”
Customer: “I know the date! Why are you booked?”
Me: “Um, it’s July 4th.”
Customer: “Listen, just give me a room!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, we are sold out. The entire town is sold out.”
Customer: “The entire town? Why?”
Me: “Sir, it’s the 4th of July. Independence day.”
Customer: “Independence from what?”
Me: “Um, England.”
Customer: “Oh bloody h***!” *click*
Not ApologizingI am mot apologizing for blocking, or writing mumms or blogs about anyone. If you have a problem, contact me, obviously you don't believe me, so (fu)!
Not Always Right| When Grave Concerns Are WarrantedElectronic Store | Canada
(After talking to an elderly customer about a computer and all its benefits, I try to talk to him about our in-store warranty.)
Me: “So are you interested in purchasing this computer and having it protected for three years through us?”
Customer: “I would be dead by then.”
Me: “Then it would be a lifetime warranty.”
Customer: *laughs*
Not Always Right| Voodoo Or Do Not, There Is No JediResort | Orlando, FL, USA
(I’m the resort coordinator and often deal with claims from guests who have had an incident.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [resort]. How may I help you today?”
Guest: *already irate* “You can help me by filing a claim for me! I slipped and fell on your property during my vacation and I deserve compensation.”
Me: “I’m so very sorry that happened to you. Can you please provide me with your name and the dates of your stay so I can pull the incident report?”
(She gives me the information.)
Me: “It seems that your stay with us occurred in 2007, almost three years ago. The report says you didn’t want to file a claim at the time. May I ask why you’re just now contacting us?”
Guest: “You should know! You’re the one that hired that voodoo man!”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Guest: “The security guard! The security guard who helped me up! He wiped my memory
Not Always Right | Third Time Is Not CharmingOffice | Salt Lake City, UT, USA
(I work in a ground level office, and am usually the only one working within view of both the front and back doors.)
Customer: *coming in from the back hallway* “Hello, I’m here for my appointment.”
Me: “With who?”
Customer: “With [Name].”
Me: “I think you’re in the wrong office.”
Customer: “Oh, terribly sorry.” *goes back down to the backdoor, and reappears from the front door a few minutes later* “Hello, I’m here to see [Name] for my appointment?”
Me: “Ma’am, this is the same office. You have to go down the stairs in the parking lot to get to [Company Name]. They’re on the basement level.”
Customer: “Oh! That explains it, thank you!” *heads out the front door again, but wanders back down the back hallway almost immediately*
Me: “Still in the wrong place, ma’am. You need to go downstairs.”
Custome
Not Always Right| How To Ensure A Blanc StareGrocery Store | Ypsilanti, MI, USA
(A elderly couple come through my counter with some wine.)
Me: *joking around* “Are you sure you two are old enough to have this tonight?” *holds up wine*
Customer: “Kid, I have underwear old enough to buy that.”
Customers Wife: *laughs hysterically*
Not Always Right| At Least It’s Hands-free NowCall Center | Oslo, Norway
Caller: “My phone isn’t working.”
Me: “No problem. I can help you with that.”
Caller: “Good. I hate these things.”
Me: “Sir, can you locate the power button on the top of your mobile, hold it in for 10 seconds, and then release?”
(The customer is quiet, and then I hear a crash.)
Me: “What happened?”
Caller: “I did what you told me to do. Hold the button for 10 seconds and then release the phone.”
Me: “No, I meant release the button, not the whole phone.”
Caller: “Well, if it wasn’t broken earlier, it sure is now!”
Not Always Right| Suffering From A-saltLibrary | Alabama, USA
(I’m the director of our small-town library. One of my summer volunteers is a 16 year old girl who is a diabetic. She works the lunch shift, and I allow her to eat her lunch at the checkout counter.)
Patron: *to the volunteer* “Hey, can you tell me if you have this book?” *hands over a sheet of paper*
Volunteer: *putting fork down* “Yes. It’s over here. I’ll go get it for you.”
(She walks away. I notice the lady at the desk sniffing the air. She looks around, clearly sees me staring at her, and proceeds to take a large bite of my volunteer’s food. She obviously doesn’t like it, and takes a large container of something out of her purse and dumps it all over the food. She takes another bite, and looks satisfied.)
Volunteer: *coming back* “Here’s your…wait. Why are you eating my lunch?”
Patron: “It was a free sample. And I must say, whoever made it is a terrible cook.
Not Always Right | Stupidity That Can Be Seen From Spacegovernment | Salinas, CA, USA
(When taking a call from a customer who has a trash pickup problem I usually pull up an aerial picture to see what the property configuration is.)
Me: “How may I help you sir?”
Caller: “I think the garbage truck ran over my cement pad and broke the corner.”
Me: “You mean the small pad on the north side of the driveway?”
Caller: *long pause* “Do you memorize everyone’s property?”
Me: “No, I pulled up your property on my computer and I’m looking at a picture of your front yard.”
Caller: “Wow! That’s really amazing! Wait, wait, give me a second!”
(The customer drops the phone and I can hear him calling someone as he leaves the room. About one minute later he gets back on the phone and is slightly out of breath.)
Caller: “Can you see her now?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?”
Caller: “My wife, my wife, she&rsq
Not Always Right | Retired & Extremely DangerousPharmacy | Georgia, USA
Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”
Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”
Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”
Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”
Not Always Right | Freudian (pay) SlipRetail | Latham, NY, USA
(I am ringing up a mother and her son.)
Me: “Alright, ma’am, your total is $**.**.”
Son: “Wow, that is so much money! You’re taking all my momma’s money!”
Me: “Actually, your mother is paying for the items that she just purchased, and I’m not the one who gets the money anyways.”
Son: “Do you think I’m dumb? You get all the money; why else would you be here?”
Me: “The money that is paid here is made by the company. I’m here because the company pays me to check out customers.”
Son: “That’s stupid. You should get to keep the money.”
(As I’m about to respond, the mother chimes in.)
Mother: “Just ignore him, he’s stupid.”
Not Always Right | Accentuating The ProblemCoffee Shop | Bend, OR, USA
(My entire family emigrated from the UK a few years ago. My father and I got together for coffee over the weekend and another customer heard us speaking. In the UK cigarettes are called ‘fags’.)
Father: “How’s kicking the habit going, alright then?”
Me: “Well, mostly, been a few months, but I still have days where I’m just gagging for a fag.”
Customer: “Excuse me! What did you just say?”
Me: (I adopt my American accent.) “I’m sorry, ma’am, its a really long story. I just meant to say that I do still have cigarette cravings every now and again.”
Customer: “Wait, what just happened to your voice?”
Me: “Again, long story, but I can change my accent as needed.”
Customer: “I’m calling the cops! You’re one of those terrorists! You’re going to blow this place up!”
(At this point, she’s dialing her phone, scream
Not All Angels....Not all angels have wings,
Or a halo of gold.
Or a white robe that clings,
Or blue eyes so ice cold.
Not all angels reside,
...In heaven above.
But they are there by your side,
With their endearing love.
Not all angels have wings,
But you know one or two.
They do so many things,
They'd be lost without you
Not A Lot Of Farms In Detroit.A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes. Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!" Not a lot of farms in Detroit.
Not As Good As The Rest?Have you really even seen the tears I've cried?
The pain and anquish they carry from inside...
What they mean, and where from they came...
Your hands, your mind, your actions. your heart
that is where they got their start.
And it's never because you care so much you need to come clean and be forgiven
it's more because I have to find it all myself, the lies. cheating and deciept you thought you've hidden
Was it because I wasn't enough? Didn't do enough?
Was I not enough like them? Not enough not like me?
So now I sit.. and everything has it's own bittersweet feeling...
everything around has it's happy and sad about it.. because everything around me
is everything to do with you.
Not Afraid(Hook)I'm not afraid to take a standEverybody come take my handWe'll walk this road together, through the stormWhatever weather, cold or warmJust let you know that, you're not aloneHolla if you feel that you've been down the same road(Intro)Yeah, It's been a ride...I guess I had to go to that place to get to this oneNow some of you might still be in that placeIf you're trying to get out, just follow meI'll get you there(Verse 1)You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'emBut you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'emCause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhemWhen I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damnWhat you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the worldFeed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping meI'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedlyAnd all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balconyNo if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can heFrom Infinite down to the last Rela
Not A ThingYour inner soul searching deludes me
The shallowness of your deepest thoughts
mocking my hollow emptiness
I roll my eyes in disgust
oh baby your ego's sooo robust
Cleaver endeavors to the hopeless dreams
all tangled up in your schemes
There you go running haphazard
with scissors in the dark
Heart stark naked and your mind
adrift on some senseless trip
So I shrug and do drugs
What's it all mean?
And she answers "not a thing, not a thing"
Not All Girls Prefer To Put On Princess Gowns For QuinceanerasCustom printed t-shirts are not regularly donned in events for any girl's Quinceaneras, Sweet Sixteen, or Debut. Cheap Maternity Wedding Dresses In fact, ball gowns and evening apparel would be the famous attire due to the fact girls prefer to really feel like princesses in a single of the unique days.
However, not all girls prefer to put on princess gowns and tiaras. Some girls like a effortless special birthday celebration to mark a passing rite for girls aged 15, 16 or 18. Cheap Couture Wedding Dresses They instead favor to commemorate the morning with custom made printed t-shirts for their closest good friends and family.
Custom Printed T-Shirts For Quinceaneras
A Quinceanera or Quinceaneras is really a passing rite for 15-year-old girls in Latin American culture. Cheap Simple Wedding Dresses The phrase Quinceanera arrives from your Spanish term 'quinceaneras,' which suggests fifteen years. It is comparable to other coming-of-age celebrations which have unique dances and unique
Not All Girls Prefer To Put On Princess Gowns For QuinceanerasCustom printed t-shirts are not regularly donned in events for any girl's Quinceaneras, Sweet Sixteen, or Debut. Cheap Maternity Wedding Dresses In fact, ball gowns and evening apparel would be the famous attire due to the fact girls prefer to really feel like princesses in a single of the unique days.
However, not all girls prefer to put on princess gowns and tiaras. Some girls like a effortless special birthday celebration to mark a passing rite for girls aged 15, 16 or 18. Cheap Couture Wedding Dresses They instead favor to commemorate the morning with custom made printed t-shirts for their closest good friends and family.
Custom Printed T-Shirts For Quinceaneras
A Quinceanera or Quinceaneras is really a passing rite for 15-year-old girls in Latin American culture. Cheap Simple Wedding Dresses The phrase Quinceanera arrives from your Spanish term 'quinceaneras,' which suggests fifteen years. It is comparable to other coming-of-age celebrations which have unique dances and unique
Not Always Right | Never Out Of Laughing StockBike shop | UK
Customer: “How much for [item]?”
Me: “£15.”
Customer: “The guy round the corner does them for thirteen.”
Me: “Well, why didn’t you buy one from him, then?”
Customer: “He’s out of stock.”
Me: “Well, when we’re out of stock, we only charge ten.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back when you’re out of stock, then.”
Not Always Right | Bad Data, Good OutcomeTech Support | Seattle, WA, USA
Client: “My printer keeps printing junk.”
Me: “You have to turn off the computer and the printer, then turn on the computer first.”
Client: “Okay.”
*pause*
Client: “It’s still wrong.”
Me: “Did you restart the computer first?”
Client: “No.”
Me: “Why not?”
Client: “The computer is too far away. It saves time if I just turn the printer off and on.”
Me: “That won’t fix the problem.”
Client: “I don’t see why not. I don’t have time to go back and forth.”
(We go through the procedure several times, with the client short cutting the directions each time.)
Me: “Okay, I think I know what to do. There is bad data in your cable.”
Client: “Oh. How do I get it out?”
Me: “First, turn everything off. Then disconnect the cable.”
Client: “Okay.”
Me: “Lay the
Not Always Right | Separates The Men From The BoysGrocery Store | Queensland, Australia
(Two customers come into the store wearing a uniform from the same company. Often when this happens, people generally get separate items, then pay for them together, so I always ask to make sure before ringing the items up. They are both male.)
Me: “Hello, are you two paying together?”
Customer #1: “No! We are definitely not together! I’m not gay! We work together. That’s all OK! We aren’t gay together! He’s not my boyfriend and we are not a couple! Not that I’m against… You know… I’m not prejudiced! BUT WE AREN’T TOGETHER!”
Me: “Sir, I asked if you are paying together.”
Customer #1: “Oh…No. Separately. Which is what we are. Separate. Not a couple.”
Customer #2: *trying not to laugh* “Sorry about him.”
Me: “Don’t apologise! You guys just made my day. But you know…separately.”
Not Always Right | Free DerangeGrocery Store | Venice Beach, CA, USA
Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, what does free range chicken mean?”
Me: “That means our chickens are not raised in cages. They get to walk around outside, which is important to the quality of life for the animals.”
Customer: *with a horrified expression* “How do you make sure they don’t eat bugs and stuff while they’re outside?”
Me: “We make sure the farmers put up a sign ‘don’t eat bugs’ in chicken scratch so they can read it.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll take two breasts.”
Not Always Right | You’ll Wanna Sit Down For This OneMovie Theater | Toronto, ON, Canada
(A guest hands me a ticket for a movie that doesn’t start for another hour.)
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We’re not ready to let people in for this show yet.”
Customer: *blank stare*
Me: “There are still people in the auditorium watching the last showing of this movie.”
Customer: *stare* “I don’t get it.”
Me: “We need to wait for the people to leave. Then, we will clean the theater, and then you can go in.”
Customer: “You mean I’ll be sitting in a seat someone just sat in!?”
Me: “Most likely, yes.”
Customer: “That’s unsanitary!”
Me: “That’s how movie theaters work, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, if my seat is warm, I want a refund!”
n
Not Always Right | One Sells Cats, The Other Sells Cat-suitsAdult Store | Fontana, CA, USA
(I am the assistant manager at a store that specializes in adult videos and toys.)
Customer: “How did you end up here anyway?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “How did you end up working here?”
Me: “I applied?”
Customer: “No, I mean, what’s an innocent little girl like you doing working at a place like this?”
Me: “Well, you know how people who love animals work at pet stores?”
(The customer has a moment of realization and becomes clearly flustered.)
Customer: “Oh…well, excuse me.” *leaves hurriedly*
Not Always Right | Did A Number On This OneCall Center | Louisville, KY, USA
(I am calling a customer.)
Me: “May I speak to [customer's name] please?”
Woman: “He’s not here.”
Me: “This is [name], with [phone company]. I am calling to remind you that your phone bill was due on the 5th and is in danger of being disconnected. Can you tell me when you will be able to pay it?”
Woman: “How did you get this number? It’s unlisted!”
Me: “Ma’am, this is the phone company. We gave you this phone number.”
Not A Good Night.Came home from work, ate dinner, started playing some old school Super Mario Brothers on the Wii...
One of the kids' friends (Who was playing with us 15 minutes earlier) came running into the apartment, crying.
One of the kids' friends was hit by a car in front of the apartment complex. He was 16. Always there with a smile, always friendly to everyone. Dead at 16.
I'm in shock, the kids are hysterical, the wife is taking it hard.
Wife tried to find someone to cover her shift, but couldn't. It was rough, the accident happened right at the only entrance to the apartment complex.
We had to drive past the boy's body, draped in a sheet. His sneakers still on the other side if the highway.
It's going to be a long, sleepless night.
Rest in Peace, Jesse. You will be missed.
Not Always Right | This Refund Is Cut And Driedgrocery store | Chicago, IL, USA
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I’d like to return these flowers.”
Me: “Oh. Well, usually we don’t issue refunds for flowers. Can I ask what the problem is?”
Customer: “She said no.”
Me: “Let’s get you that refund.”
Not Always Right | Must Have Settled On Salt & WhinegarRestaurant | Oakland, CA, USA
(I am working the register. A customer is looking at our retail chips stacked in front of me.)
Customer: “I don’t like this flavor.”
(She picks up a bag of sea salt chips.)
Customer: “I don’t like this kind either. It’s too salty.”
(She grabs a bag of jalapeno chips.)
Customer: “These ones are too spicy.”
(This goes on for a minute or so. She eventually finds something she likes and places it at the register.)
Me: “Hi there. How are you today?”
Customer: “Oh, I can’t complain.”
Not Always Right | Please Do Not Press The Beeping ButtonCall Center | Machesney Park, IL, USA
(I’m conducting a customer satisfaction survey over the phone.)
Me: “Using a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your cable service?”
(I hear a ‘beep’.)
Me: “I need to you actually say the number, not dial it on your phone.”
Customer: “Isn’t this automated?”
Me: “Well, I’m not a machine. Could you please say what number you would rate your cable service?”
Customer: “8.”
Me: “Great! And using the same scale, how would you rate your internet service?”
*beep*
Me: “I still need you to say the number.”
Customer: “Sorry, I got confused. 8.”
Me: “Okay, and how would you rate your phone service?”
*beep*
(This went on for all thirty questions.)
Not Always Right | Ah, ChildrenCoffee Shop | Calgary, AB, Canada
(A customer approaches with her 2 year old son in arms, and her 5 year old daughter. As she is about to order, a customer from a few minutes earlier storms in front of her. She is yelling and screaming incoherently, and throws her drink on the counter.)
Daughter, to her mother: “Mummy, why is the lady yelling?”
Mother: “Never mind it, she’s just being rude.”
(The little girl scowls, and points at the customer.)
Daughter: “You cut that out right now! You need to be more polite!”
(Taking example from his sister, the toddler starts pointing and yelling.)
Toddler: “BAD! BAD!”
(The irate customer is embarrassed. She shuts up and storms out. The little girl gets a free hot chocolate.)
Not Always Right | Ah, Parents…Sandwich Shop | Rhode Island, USA
(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)
Me: “Hello, this is D-…”
(I hear loud crying in the background.)
Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”
Me: “I…er…what?”
Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*
Not Always Right | The Very Social NetworkTech support | MI, USA
(I am trying to help an elderly couple get on the internet.)
Me: “Okay. Go ahead and see if you are able to connect.”
Customer: “I can’t. It says that I am not connected to any networks.”
Me: “That’s odd. I can see you on the network.”
Customer: *amazed* “You can see me?”
Me: “Yes, I can see you.”
Customer: *shocked* “Wow, she can see me!”
Customer’s husband: *in the background* “Well, put some clothes on woman!”
Not Always Right | How To Make Them As Silent As A MouseTech Support | Allentown, PA, USA
(I work engineering support late in the evening.)
Me: “Pennsylvania Support Center. How may I help you?”
Caller: “The cleaning crew just came through my office, and now my mouse doesn’t work. The cursor just jumps all over the screen randomly when I move it. They broke my mouse. I need a new one.”
Me: “You have a SPARCstation with an optical mouse, correct?”
Caller: “Yes, with the cool glass mouse-pad.”
(Old-school optical mice used to require special reflective mouse-pads with grids etched into their surfaces. To increase tracking resolution, the vertical and horizontal grids had slightly different spacing.)
Me: “Did the cleaning crew wipe down your desk?”
Caller: “Yes.”
Me: “Did they move your mouse-pad?”
Caller: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Me: “Did your mouse-pad get rotated? Is the long edge of the mouse-pad n
Not Always Right | Data Protection Can Be HellishOffice supply store | Champaign, IL, USA
(I notice a very well dressed woman checking out laptops.)
Me: “Can I help you with anything, ma’am?”
Customer: “Yes, please. Could you tell me about the facial password feature on these laptops?”
Me: “Sure. Certain laptops we carry can use the webcam to recognize several facial features unique to each person. Eye distance, mouth width, things like that.”
Customer: “Well then, that’s it.”
Me: “Ma’am?”
Customer: “The apocalypse is coming.”
Me: “The apocalypse?”
Customer: “Yes. See, the Bible says that when the government starts taking over our personal lives, the apocalypse will come.”
Me: “Ma’am, this has nothing to do with the government. It’s just another security feature.”
(She pats me on the shoulder.)
Customer: “That’s okay, son. I speak to God every day. I’m glad to know
Not Always Right | The Formula For Lazinessretail | HI, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if you had [brand] formula?”
Me: “If you hold on, I will go check.”
(I go and check. I come back on the line a few minutes later.)
Me: “Thank you for holding, ma’am. We have the formula. Would you like me to hold some for you?”
Caller: “No, I’m in the parking lot. I just wanted to make sure you had it today before I came in.”
Not Always Right | You’ve Got A Bad DoodadHome Security | Kansas City, MO, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [security company]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, my keypad keeps beeping! It won’t stop. Why is it doing that?!”
Me: “It’s probably trying to tell you there’s something going on with the system. Press the status button for me.”
(The caller pushes the button, and it announces the issue. Her front door has a low battery in it.)
Me: “Well, ma’am. It appears that your front door has a low battery.”
Caller: “But what does that mean?! I don’t understand!”
Me: “It means that the battery in the sensor on your door needs a new battery in it.”
Caller: “I don’t get it. I’m not that technically inclined! You need to explain things better!”
(This goes on for several minutes. I explain what the sensor is, what the problem is, and describe the battery. The customer is continually saying she does
Not Always Right | Explanations As Clear As WaterPool Supply | Ottawa, ON, Canada
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pool Store], how may I help?”
Caller: “How much would a new pump be for my pool?”
Me: “Have you got an in-ground or an above-ground?”
Caller: *long pause* “I don’t know.”
Me: “You don’t know?”
Caller: “No! How could I?”
Me: “Alright. Go into your back yard, and run at the pool. If you fall in, it’s probably an in-ground. If you bounce off, it’s an above-ground.”
Not Always Right | A Picture Perfect ResolutionDrug Store | Lakewood, NJ, USA
Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I came in a couple hours ago to pick up my pictures, and my wife says we’re 17 pictures short! This always happens when we come here! Is it really so hard to keep track of one f***ing order?”
(The customer continues to rant for several minutes, getting louder and more obscene. The phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”
Caller: “I was in there an hour and a half ago and the dumb*** in front of me left 17 pictures on the counter that I accidentally took home with my pictures. What kind of moron leaves pictures on the counter?”
(I hand the phone to the irate customer.)
Me: “It’s for you.”
Not Always Right | Shouldn’t Have Rented Conspiracy TheoryOnline Movie Rental | Portland, OR, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [online movie rental]. How can I help you today?”
Caller: “Yes, I’m having a problem with my account. I think I may have uncovered a serious conspiracy to keep me from getting movies!”
Me: “That’s definitely not good. I’d love to take a look at your account. May I have your name please?”
Caller: “I’d better not give you my name. They may be listening now. I’d rather make this as anonymous as possible.”
Me: “That’s fine. What’s going on?”
Caller: “My postman will only pick up my movies every three days unless I put a dollar in each return envelope. I’m afraid you guys are paying them to do this!”
Me: “I can assure you we want you renting movies. That’s what we’re in business for. Have you tried returning your movies from another location?”
Caller: “When I do t
Not Always Right | Need To Purge That UrgeCall Center | WA, USA
Me: “Hi! Thanks for calling. How can I help?”
Customer: “I need to know what kinds of [adult] toys you sell.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I can show you how to use our search feature! Are you on the website now?”
Customer: “I don’t want to look. I want you to tell me! Describe them.”
Me: “Ma’am, I can help you use the website.”
(The customer gets upset, and starts talking about her physical urges that demand these items.)
Me: “I will be more than happy to show you how to search on the website. If not, I will need to end this call.”
Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”
Me: “Well, do you have a friend’s computer, or maybe internet on your phone that you can use?”
Customer: “Nah, I don’t have none of that.”
Me: “Well, maybe a public library?”
Customer: “Nah. They don’t let me in there no more.&rdqu
Not Always Right | Up-front DeskHotel | Perth, West Australia, Australia
(A guest is checking in.)
Guest: “And would it be okay if I bring a prostitute to the room later?”
Me: *startled* “Uh. Well. I guess if no other guests are in anyway disturbed or affected.”
Guest: “Well, that’s terrific. She’ll be coming by at about 8:30pm. But if she looks ugly, just send her back without giving her my room number.”
Not Always Right | Brokers With ChokersInsurance agency | Salt Lake City, UT, USA
(We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)
Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”
Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”
Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”
Not Always Right | A-moooo-sing Customers And Other NarPet Adoption | Cleveland, OH, USA
(I am on a school trip to a mall to help with pet adoption forms. A customer comes up.)
Customer: “Gimme a f***ing dog!”
Me: “Would you like an adoption form?”
Customer: “I don’t care. I just want a dog! There’s one over there! Gimme it!”
(I look to where he is pointing. A lady is walking a dog.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but that dog doesn’t belong to us.”
Customer: “It’s because I’m [ethnicity that he clearly is not], isn’t it? ”
(At this point, I realize that he is high.)
Me: “Oh, that one is ours. Unfortunately, it is an evil space cow.”
Customer: “Holy s***!” *runs off*
_______________________________
Invasion Of The HTML Body Snatchers
Tech Support | Texas, USA
Stereotypes Are All The Same Anyway
Furniture Store | El Paso, TX, USA
(I’m a customer and am looking at dining tables. I’m an obvious Mus
Not Always Right | To Have And To Hold On To The ReclinerFurniture Store | Milford, CT, USA
(I am about to sell a couple of recliners to a wife and her husband.)
Me: “Alright, folks. I can go ring up those two recliners for you.”
Wife: “Will they take our old recliner with them when they deliver the new one?”
Me: “Well, they can move it to another room or bring it out to the curb free of charge. But if you want them to actually bring it with them, it’s a $50 charge. They have to make a separate trip to donate or dispose of it.”
Husband: “$50? That’s ridiculous!”
Wife: “Are you kidding? We don’t know anybody who will do it for us. If we hire someone, we’re never going to find someone to do it for less than $50.”
Husband: “It’s $50!”
Wife: “Did you not hear what I just said?”
Husband: “Yeah, but I’m not paying $50 for them to take away our old chair.”
Wife, to me: “Can you please excuse us for
Not Always Right |the Devil To Pay, Part 2Grocery Store | TX, USA
Me: “Alright. Your total is $23.34.”
(The customer hands me $30.)
Me: “Alright. Your change is $6.66.”
Customer: “That’s the devil’s number. I don’t want my change. It’s been tainted by Lucifer.”
Me: “Will it help if I give you an extra penny, or one less?”
Customer: “I don’t want it! The devil’s already marching through the stores.”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s just six dollars and some change. If you want, you can buy a pack of gum and it’ll be a dollar less.”
Customer: “That’s just Satan’s way of entering my body because I didn’t heed God’s word!”
(The customer gets on her knees and begins to scream, cry, and pray. My manager comes up as I’m not able to check anyone else out. Everyone else has gone to another checkout because she’s frightened other customers.)
Manager: “Ma’am
Not Always Right |the Devil To PaySupermarket | Brookline, MA, USA
Me: “Your total is ***.”
Customer: “Here is my coupon.”
Me: “I’m sorry, this expired last week.”
Customer: “What? What do you mean?”
Me: “It expired last week.”
Customer: “You witch devil! I can’t believe you changed the date!”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “You can magically alter dates, you devil!”
Me: “I don’t think I have that sort of power.”
(Upon hearing the commotion, my manager comes over.)
Customer, to my manager: “You have a witch devil here! I’m going to have to bring the lord into this!”
(The customer pulls out a bobble head Jesus and puts in on my counter.)
Customer: “I will return when the date of this coupon is the correct date!”
Not Always Right | It’s The End Of The World (as We Stole It)Call Center | Upstate New York, USA
(I work for a telecommunications company doing tech support. It’s 5/20/11, the day before the supposed Rapture, and I am scheduling a work order.)
Me: “Now, sir, I have appointments open for the 21st. Would that work at all?”
Caller: “Well, yes, we should be around, unless we get Raptured. In that case, we might want to cancel it. Or, if we don’t, we might not want to cancel it. Not sure which one is the bigger problem.”
Me: “Sir, I do assure you we are well prepared for either eventuality–return of Christ or not. Now, barring Rapture, I have a 1 – 3 pm and 3 – 5 pm. Which would you’d prefer?”
Caller: “1 – 3 pm. If we don’t get Raptured, we want time for looting.”
Not Always Right | About To Be A War Of The RosesFlower Shop | Columbia, MO, USA
(The customer is purchasing a large bouquet of flowers.)
Me: “Wow! That’s a big arrangement. Is it a birthday, anniversary or apology?”
Customer: “I slept with my girlfriend’s sister last night.”
Me: “I’m going make you up something bigger with more roses. There’s a gourmet chocolate shop down the road.”
Customer: “Thanks.”
Not Always Right | Totally, Like, ImperioRetail | Kraków, Poland
(I want to walk into a retail store. There is a customer of my age (around 22) standing in front of the door. It won’t open for her.)
Customer: “Alohomora!”
(The door opens as I walk closer.)
Customer: “Ha! Works!”
(She goes in and I follow her. This is a little store with not much space to wander around. A customer is trying to reach something on the highest shelf.)
Customer: “Accio!”
(I shake the shelf a little so the item she wants falls into her arms.)
Customer: “Whoa! It really does work!”
(We proceed to the register, and she pays and leaves. I am in line behind her. When I get out of the store, she’s already there, standing by her car. A policeman is there, too, writing her a ticket.)
Customer: “Oh, but I really just went in for a minute! I didn’t see the sign!”
Policeman: “I’m sorry, miss, there’s nothing I can do. You broke the law by parking h
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customers QuotesCafe | NY, USA |
(At our cafe, a massive puddle has formed after a customer spills a beverage. I quickly get to the process of cleaning it up. A customer approaches me.)
Customer: “Why are you doing this when there is a line out the door?!”
Me: “Sir, I have to clean this puddle up for safety reasons. The last thing anyone would like to see is someone slipping on this puddle.”
(Aside from the fact that there are only few people waiting on the line, there are two other baristas helping the customers.)
Customer: “Well, there is a line here, and I can’t believe you are doing this crap! I need to catch the train in a few minutes!”
(I decide that escalating the issue is not worth the effort. I place a wet floor sign on the puddle, and proceed to bring down the line. After the unruly customer gets his beverage, he turns around and steps into the puddle. Lo and behold, he comes crashing down to the floor. He gets up and storms up to me wi
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes IiRestaurant | Jacksonville, FL, USA |
(I have albinism, so I have very pale skin, white hair, and red irises.)
Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “Are…are you a vampire?”
Me: “Well, my dad is half-vampire.” *laughing*
Customer: “Please, don’t bite me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to bite you.”
Customer: “Don’t put any blood in my food either. I don’t want to be a vampire.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to put blood in your food. I’m not a vampire. We serve regular food here.”
Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”
(I go and get my manager, and fill him in on what’s going on.)
Customer, to my manager: “Is your vampire waitress going to bite me?”
Manager: “Only if you don’t tip her well.”
(The woman looks completely horrified, but finally ends up ordering and leaving me a 21% tip.)
___
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes IiiCoffee Shop | Ventura, CA, USA | Top
(Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)
Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”
Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”
Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”
Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*
(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)
___________________________________________
Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
Travel Agency | Pendel, PA, USA | Top
Customer, calling from a cell phone: “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”
Me: “Sure, where are you now?”
Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”
Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes (repost)It’s Not All Right
Retail | Columbus, OH, USA |
(A confused man is looking through the golf balls in the bin.)
Me: “Can I help you with anything?”
Customer: “Yes…how can you tell the difference between left-handed and right-handed balls?”
________________________________________________________________________________________
If You Can’t Bring The Pizza To The Mountain…
Pizza Delivery | Denver, CO, USA |
(Sometimes the customers that call are out of our delivery area. We have to find out which restaurant delivers to them.)
Me: “What are your major cross streets?”
Customer: “Federal and Quincy.”
Me: “Okay. That could be one of two stores. Are you North or South of Quincy Avenue?”
Customer: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Alright. Can you face Quincy from where you are standing?”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “Are the mountains on your left or your right?
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes (repost)Zombies Need Life Insurance Too
Insurance | VA, USA |
Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find out about getting life insurance for my sister.”
Me: “Okay, I can connect you with an agent.”
Customer: “Wait, I have a question.”
Me: “No problem, what is your question?”
Customer: “Well, my sister died two days ago. Is that going to make it more expensive?”
____________________________________________________________________________________
Caller On Line (Number) Two
Retail | Emeryville, CA, USA |
Me: ”Thank you for calling [store]. This is Ella. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I need [muddled].”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t really hear you.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “I said I can’t hear you too well.”
Customer: “Oh, god d*** it! Hang on!”
(There
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes (repost)Getting Shorted
Retail | Miami, FL, USA |
(At our store, we sell individual tea bags for fifty cents each. Free hot tap water and a foam cup come with each bag sold. One customer, a man in his thirties, has been coming in and buying a single bag of tea every Sunday for two years, but he never takes the water or the cup.)
Customer: “I’d like a refund of $50 please.”
Me: “We don’t sell anything that expensive.”
Customer: “Well, I bought 100 of those herbal mixes and they haven’t done a d*** thing.”
Me: “You mean the tea you buy every week?”
Customer: “No, the herbal mixes in the little yellow packets.”
Me: “Yes, that’s tea.”
Customer: “You mean it won’t make my man parts larger?”
Me: “No, it’s a beverage.”
Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.”
(He leaves, disappointed. I never saw him again.)
_____________________________________
Not A Blog Really Part 2this is all for today check back tomorrow for more if you enjoy
Horse Farm
Posted at: 2009-07-14 15:12:55
Original ad: I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.orgHey, I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested. MikeFrom Stephanie ******* to MeHi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meupFrom Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********Stephanie,It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horse
Not AnymoreFeels like I’m burning from the inside out.In pain from all the misery and doubt.Why, why, do you do this to yourself?After everything else, in your life, you have felt.It’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to smile.Everyone gives in every once in a while.No, I can’t, I won’t, I refuse.This is a game, I won’t lose. They will not win.I can control this fire burning within.No one will ever be able to say,They made me cry once more.Too many take credit,For that before.I live with regret, heartache and fear.But, not anymore.I have dried all my tears.
Not A Sad Love Song C. 2005NOT A SAD LOVE SONG ::unfinished::
Current mood:artistic
Your just a LonelyDistortedImage of my pastWhat we had didn't lastI tought we had something strongIts funny how quickly how what we called loveTurned to hateTheres no turning back nowIts to lateThe damage has been doneI'm sick of crying over you...-pause-BITCH YOU DID ME WRONG
You said you'd always love methat you'd always be thereI'm sick of all your liesI don't feel anything anymorethe loves not hereI'm packing all my thingsand saying my goodbyesmoving on with my lifeI'm leaving you behindI've only been good youmean and cold heartedsaid you weren't cheatingbut you were spottedyou got yoursso I'm gonna get mine
Chorus:I wish you well on your life in hellWith misery and shame bless the baby with his cowardly nameMay your new life be beatiful filled with agony and painYou fucked up and now I'm gone I know you'll miss me nowBITCH YOU DID ME WRONG
Not A Novel Yet But Potential...My good friend and writing partner happens to be a pastor at my church.
He told me a story last night that made me laugh and wonder what people are thinking.
A woman, who recently started attending our church, had a meeting with our senior pastor to tell him why she couldn't attend our church anymore.
"You employ too many gay people."
My friend, a married heterosexual with 2 children, is one of the 'gay' people on staff. The other 2 are women who are also married and have children.None of them is aware that they're gay but I guess this woman says they are.
God bless our pastor for what he said to her,
"This church is open and welcome to ALL people, even bigots."
Not Again.....I swear, I am the biggest over-analyzer that you will ever meet. I think so much about the little things that don't even mean anything. I guess I'm just looking, looking for something that isn't there....
Not Afraid - Eminem(Hook)
I'm not afraid to take a standEverybody come take my handWe'll walk this road together, through the stormWhatever weather, cold or warmJust let you know that, you're not aloneHolla if you feel that you've been down the same road
(Intro)
Yeah, It's been a ride...I guess I had to go to that place to get to this oneNow some of you might still be in that placeIf you're trying to get out, just follow meI'll get you there
(Verse 1)
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'emBut you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'emCause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhemWhen I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damnWhat you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the worldFeed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping meI'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedlyAnd all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balconyNo if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can heFrom Infinite down to the
Not A Place For HumansThe animals will tell you
About this place
They only come out at night
That's how they survive
Even the scorpions will burn if they don't hide
This is not the place for people
I hear them
Not A Fan Of Balls?!?!gathered around having a chat my sister and i are just quitely listening to the idle chit chat going on around us, my husband who has been away for work was talking to my mother about having to attend a full dress ball when both my sister and i hear from my mother...
"I'm not a big fan of balls"
which sent both of us into hysterics
hahahaha
No TaxesYou Won’t Believe Who Is Getting Away With Paying Zero Taxes While The Middle Class Gets Hammered
Abolish The Income Tax
Michael SnyderEconomic CollapseFeb 19, 2013
The federal income tax is a bad joke and it needs to be abolished. All over the nation, hard working American families are being absolutely crushed by oppressive levels of taxation, and our politicians are constantly
Not Always How Shit Seemsso im not one to normally post blogs or write shit down even, but this has been on my mind for a while now
2good friends of mine were locked up 2years ago for 2nd degree murder, they were both skinheads, k now before i get into it im not racist, i didnt know em on that level, i knew em as just your regular guys like to drink chill ect ect.
they never did me wrong so i didnt care bout there political bullshit.
anyways, the paper was goin on about how the attack was completely random and unprovoked, dont get me wrong i know they had violent tendencies and shit and were always willing to brawl or prove a point, but i never thought shit would go as far as the cops and paper was saying.
four days ago tyler was sentenced to life in prison without the chance of parole for 10years, rob is yet to go to court, but what really bothers me out of this, is i really truley wanted to beleive they didnt do it, like i brought rob into my home he met my now ex girlfriend he met my son. its just sooo
Not Art But Funny!!So sad...Please, pass this on if you have dated, known, work with or are related to,married to (or divorced from) or have children with, someone who suffers from beinga fucking idiot. We all need to understand, being a fucking idiot is real andmust be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a fucking idiot right now.There is still no known cure for being a fucking idiot and sympathy does not help. Sometimes a piece of 2x4 or a large wrench to the back of the head helps but not a lot.We can raise awareness!!!53% wont re-post this because they don't know how to copy and paste...
Not A Diamond, But In The Rough...i absorb the pain like a spongea gift i've had since i was youngi soak it ini bleed it outi breathe in sinthen leave no doubtas i approach the state of overloadi turn to stonei won't explodei fuckin' love this life i live alonethe weight upon my backmight weigh a thousand poundsit might never cut me slackbut still i stand my groundi am granite in a beach of sandnot worn smooth by many wavesi'm the peak that stands in darkest landsbut still i shine in my own way
Not A Wordhave not felt this,
since long ago.
My heart beats faster,
and my body heat grows.
Your smile is warm,
and I can't help but return it.
I feel odd,
which is not bad.
It is happiness,
I'm just not used to it yet.
Just talking to you,
lifts my mood.
And every single day,
I can't wait to see you.
But I'm actually scared,
that you'll know what I feel.
I don't want you to ignore me,
not like the others.
I know you're different,
but the fear will always linger.
I just want to be by your side,
supporting you.
I just want to see your smile,
and hug you.
I just want you in my life,
even if my lips will be sealed.
If it means staying by you,
my lips shall utter not a word.
Not An Article As Such......but An Extract From The Daily Showhttp://www.upworthy.com/its-official-fox-news-just-hit-rock-bottom-hard-and-repeatedly-3?c=bl3
And if I knew how to share the vid instead of linking here..I would.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartGet More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook
Not An Easy Thought To HandleI sit here as usual working at night , on the computer, and I think over the past couple years. (yes I do mean serious thinking ) and I realise that I am missing something. Its not Stability, nor looks, its money(or lack thereof). See I questioned , what it is I maybe do so wrong, but I realise its not so much me..Money is useful , of that we have 0 doubt, but in the grand scheme of things does it really ever buy true love , and happiness ? Not unless you are purchasing a hooker and some alcohol, apparently. (since I dont purchase hookers I would not know) I do however drink. Now in retrospect, I think I have it figured out..or for my case anyway. I pay bills, I take care of my kids, I fuck like a champ, I am awesome relationship material, except I dont have a gold card ? Now , excuse me if I am wrong here, but just because I cant afford to buy you a new car doesnt make me less of a man, it actually makes me smarter than the dumbass(s) that do. Secondly Id rather not get a Gold Diggin
Not AcceptableDelusion is when you are foolish enough to believe something that isn't and never was real...people live in this world every day and I am one of them..I witness others lying..then covering it up with another lie just to lie to someone else..until they become smothered in a world of lies..then wondering why nothing goes the way it should...stating they love them all in the process...confessions and solutions are simple...but excuses and more lies seems to be the only answer...playing the game..and playing with REAL peoples emotions...flying into no-fly zones...breaking the hearts of those they are aupposed to love the most....lying to every single one of them...I have lived that life before and it was NOT worth the cost...ONE person opened my eyes to how the truth really can set you free and I refuse to live that way anymore..it took me TOO long to build back something I tore down and since that realization hit me...I vowed to be a better person and always be open..honest.
Not Being Able To Forget The PastToday i was blindsided by a little piece of my past i never wanted to relive.
6 yrs ago i left my ex husband because he beat the shit out of me one night in a fit of rage. He fractured several bones in my fave including the bone under my left eye.
I wore that black eye for 3 months along with my eye being filled with blood, a concusion and some memory loss, Like the birth of My children.
Time has healed most of my wounds mentally and Physically but today this cold brought back something i would not wish on my worst enemy.
Being that the bone under my eye is chipped, If i get a sinus infection or a cold of any kind and the drainage that comes with it, My eye swells up and the pain is almost unbearable.
well today i blew my nose and felt this pop, and loe and behold my left eye is all swollen, my head is killing me and i have been crying all night because the pain is so bad.
It feels like 6 yrs ago all over again
this really fuckin sucks ass
Not Being Around As MuchHey peeps. I haven't been on much lately,but not through choice. I thought that I would leave a blog just to let you all know that I haven't forgotten about you. I am having a running feud with my current supplier over their charges and overall crappy service. They have responded by cutting my speed down to just a crawl above dial-up.If any of you are interested..(yeah right..lol)their name is Madasafish...stay well away from them, they are nothing but a con.
Anyhoo..hope to get a new provider soon, and be back up to speed...so to speak. So don't think that, because I've not left any comments lately, I am ignoring you...it just takes soooooo long to post anything at the moment. Thanks for all your great comments, keep them coming, and Keep the faith.
cheers...your friend Adam
Not Been Around Much B/cJust wanted to say I will be in and out alot. My niece had surgery on monaday and is doing well and at home. Tuesday my father-inlaw went in for a liver transplant. 2 surgeries so its been a touch and go and I have been goin back in forth from here and columbus which is about an hours drive. So I will be around when I can so if you could just please send out a well wish or a prayer for us it would be great. Much love JEN xoxoxo
Not Been Feeling So Hot....My ex brother in law is in the hospital. He is not doing so well. I don't know whether or not he is going to be around much longer.This sucks. Just felt like putting that out there.
"not By Might Nor By Power"December 3, 2006
"Not by Might nor by Power"
My speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power . . . —1 Corinthians 2:4
About this cover
If in preaching the gospel you substitute your knowledge of the way of salvation for confidence in the power of the gospel, you hinder people from getting to reality. Take care to see while you proclaim your knowledge of the way of salvation, that you yourself are rooted and grounded by faith in God. Never rely on the clearness of your presentation, but as you give your explanation make sure that you are relying on the Holy Spirit. Rely on the certainty of God’s redemptive power, and He will create His own life in people.
Once you are rooted in reality, nothing can shake you. If your faith is in experiences, anything that happens is likely to upset that faith. But nothing can ever change God or the reality of redemption. Base your faith on that, and you are as e
Not By Choice-now That You Are LeavingI don't know what to do when the fire's going out
I don't know where it ends and
I don't know where it starts
You tell me that I have to wait until tomorrow
But I don't know if I can make it through today
You will never know
What it's like to be here
what it's like to be me
I won't let it show
What I'm really feeling
now that you are leaving
One year later and the fire's going strong
I don't know what I did and
I don't know what went wrong
You tell me that I have to wait until tomorrow
But I don't know if I can make it through today
You will never know
What it's like to be here
what it's like to be me
I won't let it show
What I'm really feeling
now that you are leaving
now that you are leaving
I don't know what you want from me
it's something that I cannot see
And everything you want from me
is something I will never be (2x)
What it's like to be here
what it's like to be me
I won't let it show
What I'm really feeling
now that you are leaving
now that you
Not Being Here Onlinejust a short message as a few might know
i got some personal problems
thats why i havent been that much here online
dnt worry i will work it out
i might come online for a few mins and go again just to see if anyones misses me
ahahah but i guess not
out of sight out of mind ig uess for lots of ya
haahahah its ok
only a few miss me and i thnk yu for that
Not Being AroundI want all my friends and family to know that i have not forgotten about you, but it seems that i have a severe case of what they are calling stomach flu or food poisoning, they do not know as of yet, and just sitting up at this point takes a lot out of me, i do miss the interactions with each and every one of you, and as soon as i feel better, i will get back into the swing of things, i would like to thank everyone who sent the lovely gifts, and well wishes
lets hope i get past this soon, i hate being sick!
much luv to all!
Not Being Here All The TimeI am sorry to all my friends and family I can not be on ct all the time when I have a neice that hogs the computer. trying to get the computer from her is like trying to rip a can of beer out of a drunks hands. so if you do not hear from me for a while then please do not be alarmed. It is probly because I can not get on the computer at that time. so please leave a message or you could write me at laddiesman6000@yahoo.com thanks for understanding. love you all bye for now
Not Being On LatelyJust A quick Note to let people who care know I having taking time off of here.There is so much going on in my life.So many changes I want to make,Some of them are going to be trying and very emotional for me. It has come time to worry about me and my daughter.As my daughter gets older I watch what a incredible lady she is becoming. and the one thing I can truly say Is that My children are the one thing in my life I did right.I never had the chance to watch my son grow up.because he died,the worse part is never getting to know the man he would have become.He was taken from me in a daycare drowning.I am not writing this for your pity or sympathy.I am writing this so that those out there thats have children realize that they are a gift NOT a right.How much does it take to tell your child that you love them unconditionally.I need to better my life so that my daughter knows there is nothing she cant do.The REAL friends I have here, I want you to know how much you mean to me.Thank you so m
Not Broken....Nothing broken at work today! Yeah! I still get teased by everyone I know, about my broken rib... The patients, colleages, friends, family, everyone! But... (knock on wood) still nothing broken again in 4 months *smile*. (Tell nobody about the blue spots and bruisings on my legs!)
Okay, I'm in a crazy mood. Just came home from work and in 8 hours I have to be there again... That s*cks!!!
Not Bad Poker PlayingPokerStars Tournament #45175162, No Limit Hold'em
Freeroll Super Satellite
3000 players
$3000.00 added to the prize pool by PokerStars.com
Total Prize Pool: $3000.00
Target Tournament #45174927
100 tickets to the target tournament
Tournament started - 2007/03/18 - 21:30:00 (ET)
Dear honkboy,
You finished the tournament in 198th place.
A $5.00 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
Not Being AroundWell my life has takin a change..not sure of the way its going to turn out..but I just know that I cant be around as often as I would like..Ive lost alot of things this week so far..but I hope the friends that I have on here are not part of that..I will be around when I get the oppertunity..so dont give up on me..And if you get the chance leave some messages and keep me updated on how things are goin for everyone..Lots of LOVE..XO
Not Being Onjust want all of u to know that even though i am not on everyday i still think the world of each and every one of u and i from the heart wish each and everyone of u the greatest of days and may they be filled with happiness and smiles hugs and always your friend P-Rod Pete
Not Being On MuchSorry to all of my friends that have continued to keep up with me and check in on me. I have not been on much because I have been working long hours, i have also been sick, they are trying to figure out what is going on with me as I write this hopefully i will know soon. I love and miss everyone.
Not Been HereSorry I have been gone for so long...alot has changed...but I am here to have fun and make alot of friends. DRINKS all AROUND!!!
Not Back To Work YetOK I WENT TO THE DOC YESTERDAY HOPING THAT I WOULD BEABLE TO GO BACK TO WORK, THE DOC TOLD ME THAT MY ARM IS STILL RECOVERING AND THAT ITS STILL IMFLAMED AND I NEED TO NOT USED IT AS MUCH!!! IT MY FUCKING ARM I USES IT EVERYDAY!!!! SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM STILL OUT WORK FOR A NOTHER MONTH!!! I ENDED UP GETTING A CORTAZONE SHOT TO HELP WITHT THE PAIN!!!1 I WILL KEEP U POSTED AGAIN!!!!!!
Not 1 But 3 Awesome Lounges And 1 Tremendous Radio Station ..... Repost PleaseYES PEOPLE WE AT VIGILANTE RADIO ARE STREAMING INTO THESE LOUNGES...
ALL LOUNGES ARE LOOKING FOR NEW MEMBERS THAT WANT TO ENJOY THEMSELVES / CHAT WITH FRIENDLY TRUTHFUL PEOPLE / BASICALLY JUST HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME ON THE FU WHILE LISTENING TO A WIDE ARRAY OF MUSIC.
SO WHY NOT POP IN JOIN ANY OF THE LOUNGES OR MAYBE ALL 3 OF THEM THEY ALL HAVE A GREAT CROWD IN THEM?
THE ORIGINAL LOVE SHACK
THE FIREFIGHTERS HALL
AND LAST BUT NO MEANS LEAST
SQRK
SO DON’T BE SHY SEE YOU IN ONE OF THE LOUNGES ABOVE
JUST CLICK THE PIC TO THE LOUNGE YOU FANCY AND WE WILL SEE YOU IN THERE.
AND IF ANYBODY WANTS TO TRY THEIR HAND AT BEING A TOP DJ
PLEASE GET HOLD OF DJ UNCLE ABE or DJ E- PAR
IN THE ORIGINAL LOVE SHACK.
(repost of original by 'President Lincoln~DJ E-Pars Master~Owner of Vigilante Radio&Original Love
Not Back Yet...due In On Thursday Dallas Airport..cannot Wait To Be Home Again!Well, it has been difficult. I have gotten through it. I cannot believe my sister is gone. The funeral was very nice and although I suppose that we will never look like ourselves after we pass ...probably it would be good to hope that we will look the same.
She reminded me of a late cousin who had passed when I was really young. Doing the Euelogy (wrong spelling) anyhow...I did the speech to remember my sister by...and family looked at me like I was cold hearted. I just know my sis was there with me giving me the strength I needed to do it. Her son told me I did an awesome job.
My nieces son did something really spooky at the funeral home. He walked up to the casket to say a prayer kneeling next to the casket and he said to my niece...nana is not dead. She said yes she is...you are looking right at her...he said nope she is standing next to you and Aunt Kris. She freaked...I smiled at him. Kids know things we donot know. Who is to say ...right...she could have been. Anyhow, it
Not Being Able To Spell....the Least Of My Worries I Think.panning to the left and promanading to the right, taking it all in through his nostrils and trying not to fight, the words that he refuses to let spill on the beaten tracks of men. he glares through shaded glasses directly to the face of the sun, and feels, with all remorse, that he has only half finnished a race, weathered and torn out is his half beaten face, no signs of tornment and no relief from grace.
the bronze boy sits on a bench beside his sister reading a book outside the library where everything is still, while a man writes the ending to a story never started, smoking a cigarette and drawing blanks from the concrete, in a litirary context that runs down the ear of a well soiled carcase,
and i,
and my words,
just die .
Not Backing DownNOT BACKING DOWNwhy do people push mewhy do they bother mewhen i am so far from homewhy do they thinkthey can push me aroundi am a manof sharp mind and muscle boundi stand no disrespecti will take no onesattemps to belittle mei am a mani have a name and you will use iti dont push welli dont back downfor any man women or childi wont back downi wont take the disrespect anymorei have had to many bad daysbecause other people decidedthat i should have onei am no longer care whatthey want me to bei wont let thempush me around anymorecopyright jas 2009
Not By Kelly ..about Kelly!Frustrations continue to abound...I use to always think it was Pro Mets that did not use common sense. I have now discovered that Drs & Surgeons do not use common sense either.Like mentioned earlier they want to wash her out again on tuesday and then keep her on the VAC machine which is a machine that is basically like a suction foam into the open wound areas and keep her on this without changing the dressing.Time to insert lack of common sense #1 ..By not changing the dressing you are leaving bacteria build up on the sponges for that two week period which is inside an open wound and has direct access to the blood stream.Then after this VAC treatment they are going to have the plastic surgeon close up the wound in whichever way he is able to..Time to insert lack of common sense #2..When you are an adult and you get a bone infection...that bone infection can not be removed from the bone, The only thing that can happen with that infection in the bone is it can go "dormant" or sleep. In o
Not BreathingShe will not hold her breath, which is as well,For he'd not suffocate her with his need;Her eyes wide-open, as she sucks the seedFrom deep within him; she can almost tellWhen she will sense him coming: let him tenseAnd find his heart-beat surging, see she's wrappedHer tongue around the eagerness she's mappedWith her lips and her mind - a recompense;Is this the reward sought by both of them?The taste that washes round - an afterthought,An afterworld, beyond that little death,To which he will succumb, when she won't stemThe flow of his excitement, for he's taughtThat it's as well, she will not hold her breath.
Not Being FoundIt's nice not being found by an ex or by an ex guild on mech warrior or swtor or wow or eve or by any 1 what I do is my own personal business. Staying in the shadows and not givng any soul about what other people are doing.
Not Cute...Ok see, I know this site has a bit of "racey" pix on it and shit and that's cool, don't get me wrong. But if you're Goddamn busted as fuck, and you weigh like over 268.9 lbs. please keep that shit private. Nobody needs to see that motherfuckin "monster box"!! Goddamm. a motherfucker has to eat around these Goddamn parts, and apparently (bitch) you'z already eatin' good. So try not to fuck up my meal ticket....plus that shit is scarin' the cat.
Not Cool.Okay so Ashleigh made me realize something.
I dont like it when the shoes on the other foot.
Its not fair damn it.
Lmao.
Im not use to this.
Fuck.
Not Cool.My tummy hurts.
The puppy pee'd on my blanket.
She bit me while i was sleeping to wake me up.
What little sleep i get with her, she makes sure its painful lol.
Random people are messaging me and i don't like it none.
I've got like 100 things to do today.
I quit my other job, which means i quit both of em now haha.
Ill get a new one, no biggie.
I just couldnt take the hospital or the resturant no more. The hours where bullshit. And the people sucked.
I put her in the cage crate thing, so i can clean and shes freaking out, and i dont like it lol.
Anyway. Those are my morning/afternoon thoughts.
Not Certain Where To StartSo, tonight I joined the Lost Cherry Community.
I have never heard of LC bfore toinght, and honesly, cannot find the person who encouraged us to join at all....
Is there a philosophy for LC? Am I a big geek for asking for one?
Just wondering.....
Comments welcome, provided I can read them.....
Not Clogging BulletinsMy opinion on the whole NSFW policy is that it is a great policy. If you don't think that a young child walking through the room should see the pic then mark it as adult. It is not going to block anyone who wants to see it, and it keeps the site classy. I will admit, I have been searching on here for some more women who are classy enough not to WANT to show their privates all over the world, but it is difficult enough either way.
The MAIN reason that I agree with the policy is that I have recently had a family with small children move into my home, and I have been unable to use CherryTap while they are here because the children are 5 and 9. I do not want to expose them to the sleasy world that the internet can introduce into the home, and CherryTap was started with the idea of OFFERING the possibility to combine the internet community (Sluts, Prudes, Point Chasers, and hermits alike) to come together and have a place to chat with like minded people (with 500,000 people, everyone
Not ComplainingThe photos are all taken by me of me. Yes, I am a narcissistic twat.
How did I edit them? I used Picasa, free software available from Google.
Questions? Feel free to ask. I may or may not answer.
Not Cool Enough For A SubjectSo I'm blogging on yet another site..What fun!! Seems pretty cool, but I still prefer Myspace..we'll see how this goes...Ok..so I've posted one......be happy for me
-Kim
Not Checking In Till ThursdayHey guys and gals! I'm just stopping in briefly to say that I won't be on until Thursday.
I'm swamped at work and with home life.
***Best Beer Pic Winners***
I haven't forgotten about you.
I will be sending out the winners announcement on Thursday and will also be issuing the prizes then.
Everyone have a great week!
Sam
Not Completely.....ok ok , so im not off here completely , IM still on, just in a PG-13 version....lol
Not Crazy For Cherry Tapi dont like the fact of tracking. i think it takes the enjoyment out of things. you can wonder from profile to profile just being bord and perhaps some one looks cool. but thhey get this ego of your stalking them or want hem.sheeze.
Not Calm, Numb!Not calm, numb!
Ripping, renting,
Tearing at space,
Corrupting the moment,
Distorting the place.
Bubbling, seething,
Nest of emotions,
Struggling for sense,
Of conflicting notions.
Fear and guilt,
Hatred and blame,
And yet I sit passive,
Calm just the same.
Casually, calmly,
Not even glum,
I've exhausted all senses,
I survive now in numb.
Not Clear On These Peoples Concept...Good Morning you ever wonder if certain events are fixed. You know the winner is determined before the contest has started.
Jenny Brown, 62, entered her sponge cake in a contest sponsored by an organization in Wimblington, England, in July, was informed by judges that she had won "second place," and was only later told that she was the only entrant (but was also told that she could not have first place). [BBC News, 7-5-07] Apparently the Judges wife’s cake did not get entered after all…
This next little bit borders on the line of being love sick and just plain forgot this might be dangerous…
Undignified Deaths A 21-year-old man fell to his death in Tuscarawas County, Ohio, in April when he leaned a little too far over on a hillside rock in order to write his girlfriend's name on an available space on the surface. (Her name is Kaylee and not, unfortunately, just Kay.) It’s sad when you just can’t be happy with having a girlfriend / boyfriend and not shouting it to the world. [Plain
Not CoolOne of the shipping guys came running in here with a fucking clown mask on. I'm SO pissed.
Not Cheating On You!!!Boy: Yeah!!! Last night sooooooooo nice!!
Girl: Wah?
Boy: Fun because it had purple. It also had green, red, blue, and a kind of creamish color. What did you think I ment?
Girl: Well, I thought you like were cheating on me.
Boy: I would never cheat on you. (gives small kiss on cheak.) I was looking at different colors of paint. That's why last night was like soooooooo nice.
Girl: Good. Now come hear and give me a kiss.(kisses romantically.)
Not Creativejust sittin here bored... not much to do but check out tha net... i had a bad morning at work.. wanna do sumthin fun... don't know wut's out there to do rite now... still noon.. but that's me... nite life is where it's at and waiting for that...
Not Close Enough To Touchnot close enough to touch
Melissa Kenyon 2008
i want to lick you up and down
till you tell me to stop
making you cum till you tell me to stop
never wanting to let you go
but knowing there will be more tomorrow
holding it back till i can't hold it back anymore
wondering how i will tell you to stop
gawd i can wait to kiss your lips again
i can't wait till my Tounge touches yours
to make love to you again would mean more to me then anything right now
to feel you
to touch you
to love you
to cum on you
i wish you where lying nexted to me
in my bed
caressing me
loving me
feeling me
only to be with me
but right now we are so far away
but yet so close
only miles away
but not close enough to touch
Not Causing HarmThe most straightforward advice on how to discover your true nature is this: practice not causing harm to anyone—neither yourself nor others—and every day, do what you can to help.
If you take this instruction to heart and begin to use it, you will probably find very quickly that it is not so easy. Often, before you know it, someone has provoked you and either directly or indirectly, you've let them have it.
Therefore, when the intention is sincere but the going gets rough, most of us could use some help. We could use further instruction on how to lighten up and turn around our well-established habits of striking out and blaming.
The four methods for holding your seat provide just such support for developing the patience to stay open to what's happening, instead of acting on automatic pilot. These four methods are:
1) not setting up the target for the arrow;
2) connecting with the heart;
3) seeing obstacles as teachers;
4) regarding all that occurs as a dream.
F
Not Confused ...Ok with the most awesome help from Big Papi Smurf ... I found out why my old ID was deleted, because my camera's save point was via CS2 ... so now that that is fixed I have been VARIFIED!!!
Approaved 04/29/2008 04:14 am
Papi ... YOU RAWK!
xoxoxo
Not Camera Shy? Good! I Have A Request!Hey everyone!!
I am hoping you all can help! I have a website that I am just finishing off with a re-design. I'm putting in a photo gallery and would desperately LOVE to have some photos to put in there!
My site is Wild Talk Radio, and I'm asking that if any of you could, please send me some of your photos to put in there.... Pretty much anything can be used, as long as its not FULL nudity... If you want to send topless, lingerie, clothed, fashion, etc., I would be most appreciative!! I'll send you some FU-BUCKS if you do!
If you could in some pics, have a Wild Talk Radio sign in any form, just hand-written is great!! Or if you get more creative, that's awesome too!
You can Shoutbox me for an email address, and as soon as the site is finished I'll send you the link to see it!
Thanks again!!!!!
Not ClosingTo All My Friends and Fu Family,
I am writing this blog to let everyone know that Roughstock owned by CB is still one of the best country bars on the fu. It is not closing nor is there any intention by CB to close it. Due to a staff issue that went bad rumors have been started. This is to let everyone know the truth. Please shoe CB your support and love by taking time to go into roughstock and spending time and buy him and his staff a drink. Thanks Your Sinful Friend Suzy
Not Cut Out For This...yetSo I'm trying to get a bit more exercise in after slacking off for a bit too long.
Played football on sunday for 4 hours, badminton for an hour yesterday, football for an hour today, and football hopefully again tomorrow for an hour or so.
Now, the problem lies in my muscles, my groin is still playing up from Sunday, obviously the running around since then hasn't helped, but still.
Badminton was ridiculously hard work due to not playing for over a month, was a really good game though (even if I did lose). My right shoulder and the muscle from my wrist to my elbow just weren't happy today though.
Hopefully this should stop though after I'm in my routine again for a few weeks.
Not ComeMay the 26th not come,the 3 weeks of hell willbegin, inside the tortureof the mind, a victim ofthe sin.All for the worthless cause,in the face, the victim of thewar, strapped down with chains and locked up in bars.Inner rage and deceit, lifeless body, no energy, outcome not defeat, allwill be over, in the path tothe retreat.
Not Coming Back For A Whilesorry sorry people i'm not goin to be back on for awhile i have alot goin on so if u want to talk to me eamil me at jessestanley20@yahoo.com
Not CrazyI'm not crazy. W00-H00! (Not in a bad way so shut up!)
Have you ever had one of those ex's that for whatever reason wanted to make you think the entire time that you were crazy and that there was something wrong with you? Have you ever had one of those times in your life that you began to believe them that something was wrong with you?
Then have you ever started turning things around without them then go to that point where you had to find out the truth once and for all only to find out that everything that you thought that they were doing behind your back was in fact reality. I had all this happen and I am looking at the postive of it right now.
The good from this being that I was right and I am learning from this to trust my own insticts and intuitions more.
I am also free now emotionally to pursue a relationship with a really good guy that a month ago I was not ready to fully open up to and now I am able to do so.
Okay so I can't think of anything else good about it right
Not Dead YetAn Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
This has been an
Not Depressed Maybe More Let DownYou know today kinda got me thinking(scary huh) Anyways It seems like when i dig a woman Something always happens ( Example i become the big brother or what not) Or they go im not looking for a realationship and boom 3 weeks later there w someone and yes i know wasnt ment to be a song pops in my head is by Def Leppard
Here I am, I'm in the wrong bed again
It's just a game I just can't win
There you are breathin' soft on my skin
Still you won't let me in
Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away
Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And you're the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby
There you go, midnight promises again
But they're broken by the dawn
You wanna go further, faster every day baby
But in the morning you'll be gone
And I'm alone
Every dream I dr
Not Dark YetNOT DARK YET
Dylan
Shadows are falling and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don't see why I should even care
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well, I've been to London and I've been to gay Paree
I've followed the river and I got to the sea
I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
I was born here and I'll d
Not Doin Too MuchLets see I haven't really been doing much still looking for a job.. Whys it so complicated I just dont know...
I'm still single.. Ofcourse I go out with guys and etc. Just nothing serious right now.. But it's all good Cause I'm enjoying it.. Theres no stress too worry bout ...
Then on the weekends I'm either partying or just hanging out with whoever... I always seem to be doing something...
So moreless right now im enjoying life.. to its fulliest.. :)
Not Dealing With It So Well....Well he left....he's gone....back to florida. The love of my life, gone as quick as he came. I miss him so much....already...my head is pounding so bad from the tears that have fallen from my eyes. The thing is I didnt even cry when he left...I didnt break down till I got home, to my empty house...with no history channel or the miltary channel on. Silence....the scent of his colone filled my nose when I walked into my room grab something, and that is when it hit me. And it hit me hard. It felt like running into a brick wall. I fell onto my bed just ballin my eyes out. And I havnt been able to stop since. I want him to come back....oh god how I want him back here. :: cries ::
Cry baby aka
Natasha :: Ernies Perfect Drug ::
Not Dark YetNOT DARK YET
Shadows are falling and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don't see why I should even care
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well, I've been to London and I've been to gay Paree
I've followed the river and I got to the sea
I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
I was born here and I'll die here against my will
I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still
Every nerve in
Not Doing WellSORRY I HAVEN'T KEPT IN TOUCH WITH YOU ALL. MY MS IS GETTING THE BEST OF ME AGIAN. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T REPLY BACK I AM ABLE TO SEE WHAT YOU'VE SENT. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
XOXOXO-VERONICA
Not Doing WellWell if any one really read her profile. You all knowthat my bestfriend is really sick. And what happened last night was not good. She fell down and cut her head open. They took her too hosptial last night, she was alive and breathingjust not concouse (awake). Well early this morning they moved her from the local hosptail too one of the majors one. She is not doing well.. and right now is in critucal..I miss my room mate dearly and hope she comes home and out of this. if you are reading this keep her in your prayers always. thank you all for the you took too read about my best friend.
Not Doin To Good.so im really depressed right now. i just realized my last 3 boyfriends really fucked me over and my most recent ex just basically told me fuck you. he told me i didnt make him happy and that he didnt feel secure with me.what the fuck. so im feely really down right now and im not doin too good.
Not DeadJust a friendly reminder, I am not dead lol
Not Dead YetSmoke another one
Burn your life away
Something's got to kill me
I might as well enjoy it
Pills, thrills, crank and meth
Dieing as fast as I can
Tequilla, scotch, brandy, and beer
Slam on the brakes
Tighten the noose
Wake up and wonder why
I'm still alive
Something's got to kill me
I might as well enjoy it
Everything happens for a reason
It's not my time to go
Why not, I'm tired of being here
Fire it, snort it, pop it, smoke it
Whatever it takes
Just to make it through another day
I'm already dead
I just don't know it
I died as fast as I could
My body lived on
My mind is blank
I'm alone, cold, and empty
Something had to kill me
It ws one hell of a ride
Did I enjoy it
I don't remember
What? I'm not dead?
Everything happend for a reason
I'm still alive
I might as well stick around and
Find out why.
Written in rehab 2004: Jeff Hargis
2006 Kaitlynn Rain Hargis was born, my daughter is my life.
Please don't rip.
Not DeletingOk so change in plans...not deleting BUT only because my best friend casey keep callin me asking me not to and it was kind of getting annoying. If I did delete she would have called me harrassing me to make a new one im sure.
But pls do not waste ur time rating me or anything. This acct will lay dormant unless Casey 'needs me' or I happen to get the FU syndrome and starting rating again.
If and when I am on always feel free to chat!
The one who can't get rid of ya's :D lol
-submissive ... now known as Minja; check out my vid on my profile lol :)
Not Designed For AloneI don't do well being alone. Right now, my fam is off visiting other fam in TN, and I'm at home alone. Of course, the first thing I did was clean house...I'm kinda OCD like that. Then, though, me and a buddy headed out to the golf course. Something free about tapping a crazy little ball along with drinking beer and driving a cart!
Unfortunately, 18 holes only lasts so long, so I find myself at home watching NASCAR alone. That totally sux!
The worst part for me is that I don't normally get in trouble unless I am home alone. It's like something in my brain pops, and the next thing I know I'm getting drunker than ever and knocking boots with chica after chica. This time I'm gonna be good...well, maybe not so good with the drinking, but I'm not gonna try to hook up with anyone. Now, if they come after me, weeeelllll.....that's another story! LOL (so I have a high opinion of myself!)
Anyway, I'm pretty much rambling now. Take care, and if you're in lower AL...giggle!
"not Done Yet"So about 2 dayts ago at work...some russian chick came and asked for a salted pretzel....I'd jsut put some in the warmer sicne i sold the last one b4 she came....i told her they weren't doen yet and she's all " i don't understand" im thinking...what part do you not understand...the pretzels AREN'T done yet....gah some ppl are slow....so then i told that i'd jsut put them in there and it'd be 30 mintues b4 they're ready...apparently she still didn't understand cuz she asked for one again...so then she goes and gets her husband....the dude is huge and I'm thinking...just what are gonna do...you can't make them cook any faster....so then he starts talking...couldn't understand not a damn tihng he saying..all i heard was blah blah blah blah...think him being so big garbled up his words...I was like look people the pretzels are not ready and will not be ready for 30 minutes so if you want 1 then you can wait and if not then move along....so then they started talkingi n their language...pret
Not Doing GoodOk this is what is up and why I wont be on for a couple of days...On May 29th I was in the ER with major pains in my left side near my lung and kidney, I was diagnosed with Pleurisy which is an infection in the lining around my lung causing it to be really hard to breath without pain, Ive been put on pain killers and lots of rest. BUT of course it doesnt stop there! In the mix of all this I got a sunburn on top of a sunburn causing me to get sun poisoning. So right now Im drained, sore, having constant chills and have next to no energy. So my plans for the next couple of days are my ass being on my couch under a warm comfy blanket, watching movies and not doing a damn thing. I hope all of you have a really good weekend and I will talk to you all when Im better.
Blessed Be
Juniper
Not Doing Well..Not really sure what is going on but Mom is in the hosptial right now....has good days and bad. Going to see her tomorrow so I'll be on and off...I'll try to give updates....lost Dad 2 and a half years ago...an uncle just last week...not too ready to go down that road anytime soon. Keep her in your prayers!!!
Not Doing Well....Mom is now on a ventilator...her kidneys have shut down but we are still not giving up hope. There has been some function with them and they are improving slowly. The pnenumonia is gone but she has a long road ahead....keep her in your prayers!!
Not Done...lolShes got eye of the pinkey.
It swells up in the night.
She gets up in the morning.
Looking like shes been in a fight.
Cause shes got eye...of the pinkey.
Puts on her make up. Fast as she can.
Slips her mind.
Where that wands been.
To many friends.
To many places.
Its been around.
Touched all of their faces.
Not Drunk YetI'm not drunk enough to care what you think yet. While I'm being utterly annoying, why do I have to tell the forum if there is "NSFW content" in a site that only "adults" are supposed to be able to access.
Ahh the irony. Oh the coincidences... Bleh the spelling errors.
Not Done Yethey check out my boy biggiebaca were gona make this wreck we might have to call you a docta for the musical enjoyment of the whole damn world now hes a lo nothin but true hes been fightin with me for 4 years were x 2 droppin bombs we can chop up and grind you into a lyrical soup leave you without a paddle and barely reading docta suese now lets calm down and do what we do cause we gota chill and we have a track to straight turn in to suit our musical interest so what you wanta do
Not Dream But TrueI KNOW AM DIFFECULTI KNOW AM CONFUSING
I KNOW THAT I LOST MY WAY
BUT I AM ALSO A MAN WHO WAS HURT VERY BADLY
I WONDER IF THIS PAIN WILL REMAIN WILL STAY LONG
I AM TAIRED FROM MY DREAMS THAT SHOWING ME YOU I DONT BELIAVE THAT COZ IT JUST A DREAM
THEN YOU CAME IN MY LIFE TRUE SO NICE AND SO SWEETI WAS HAPPY THAT I SEE YOU IN PERSON NOT DREAM BUT TRUE
AND I TOUCH YOU AND IT WAS LIKE MAGICLIKE I TOUCH THE MOON IN MY FINGERTIPSLIKE I TOUCH AN ANGEL
IT WAS YOU WHO BRING ME ALIFE AGAINWHO SEE THROU ME
WHO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING IN LOVE AND WHAT IS TO ME
SO NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU UNTILL THE LAST BEAT LAST BREATH .....
Not Day 135WORD COUNT: 4,945
In case you haven't noticed my mildly dancing a jig, my family and I are officially moved out of Allan and Lesa's, my brother-in-law's house where we've been staying since the flood! I got home from work last night and my wife and kids were pretty much ready to go ... and the family was eager to see us go and let it show! I'm trying not to take it personally, but some bad things did get said and it'll be time out of each other's sight under the same roof that we all desperately need! Martha got off work at two yesterday and after school the kids and their aunt Mary had already been out there -- Sarah and Jeffrey had even picked out their rooms -- bringing one load of our things. Mary's still staying with Allan and Lesa and family because the three-bedroom trailer we have has room at maximum occupancy for four people, two adults and two children.
It occurred to me this morning that it's the first time here that just the family unit I'm part of (that is, the
Not Done YetI needed to step out of the noise and commotion of the bar. I was comfortable in its familiar faces, i thought id kill two birds with one stone,take a walk to the back an pee.. and maybe grab a smoke. I knew sum of the fellow smokers out side. I bantered and laughed as a mixed group of four finished their break and walked back inside to rev up the nightlife vibe. I still had half a cigarette to finish so i drew in and took a look around of my dark surroundings..... What was that? Did i just see movement in the shadows of the alley?.......... I stoped squinted my eyes trying to focus, There was no movement...........just a dark shape smoothly growing before me. I couldent say a word as his eyes meet mine. He dident smile... but his eyes did as he slowely held out his hand................I couldent move .. I dident waver from his stare.... i felt his hand firmly on my wrist ..,,, he pulled me with him ...not to him ... so i beganthe journey in to the shadows with bated breath ......(
Not Du Joueur Seulement Seraient Les Publicités Affichées Bien En Vue Sur Les MaillotsMondial de hockey a eu des annonces en plâtre tout au long de leur maillot depuis des années et les gens ne regarderez plus jamais à l'esprit eux. Quand j'observe la Coupe Spengler annuel sur la télévision de Davos, en Suisse, deux facteurs généralement se faire remarquer pour me.Very premier, l'automobile qui est donné à la MVP du tournoi qui est certainement toujours placé dans un coin de la patinoire,maillots football, seulement plusieurs lignes et juste au-dessus du verre. Presque jamais vous allez voir des voitures comme prix dans des tournois en Amérique du Nord. J'ai souvent demandé si 1 n'a jamais été sonné par une rondelle errante! Deuxièmement, les annonces des entreprises qui occupent pratiquement chaque spot de rechange au sein de uniforms.Not du joueur seulement seraient les publicités affichées bien en vue sur les maillots, ils sont aussi collées pour le pantalon en même temps. La LNH est principalement une opération de revenu porte-driven, ce qui signifie presque tout so
Note To All You Fuckers And Wanna-be'sRight here on Lost Cherry, wat the fuck is up with ppl blockin someone from their pg becuz they think that person is ugly?!?
It pisses me off wena person is soo damm shallow and soo fuckin stupid that they dont giv a shitt to wat they say to anyone about their looks.
It might be weird that im bitchin about this right now but my frend was talkin to some guy on here(first timer) and that stupid fuckk had the balls to tell her he thinks shes fuckin hideous and blocked her after he saw her pic. Do u kno wat the hell that can do to a persons self-esteem??
Pretty soon she started complainin bout her looks and not long after that she started to cutt herself...iduno if u ppl hav best frends that do that but it scares the fuck outa me.
So for all u ppl that like to fuck with pplz minds like that, u can fuck off and get a life...cuz ur probly not too much of a looker urself anyway.
I kno it might seem stupid as hell to let someone u dont kno get to u mentally and emotionally li
Note To Friends And FamilyHey all....It's been a rough week and I need some love...like only my friends can give!!
It's not about leveling up...I just need some love, hugs, something to make me smile!!
Most of you don't know me that well...but those of you who do know what's been goin on. Today marks the three year date since my accident and For some reason it's hitting me harder this year than it has the last couple years. I thought I would be further along than I am. I look at the last three years and yea it's been rough, and there have been more times than not that giving up seemed so much easier than fighting. Once again those who know me...know me well enough to know it's not in me to give up on anything! lol
Through it all though the thing that's kept me going is the people in my life, my friends...who are my family, my life! My friends have been the one constant over the last three years during my fight that seems to get the best of me at times. To those who I call friends/family...Thank you from t
A NoteSome of the poetry used in this blog is copywrited, so please do not copy any of them
A NoteI Miss My Friend Video - Darryl Worley lyricsDarryl Worley Music Video CodesMusic Video Codes by VideoCure.com
A Note
At a moments notice I can hear you call
I knew you would not fall
Every moment you sit and stare
I am right there
I can feel the very ground you walk on
This is what I do when you are talking
Every moment we had together is one I will always cherish
WHen we walked through the park
Even when it was dark
I could feel your heart pound
But you knew I was around
Each night I laid you down to sleep
I had your soul to keep
WHen you wake in the morning
You know I am not mourning
When you bring me that coffee
You know black is what I liked in the morning
Our chance for children came and past
You know I can feel your heart race fast
WHen you close your eyes and see my face
You know heaven is now my place
Comfort resides right beside you
You know my heaven is true within you
It did not hurt when I went
THe only pain was watching you suffer in silenc
Note To Self!!Leave the blogs alone wrote to many today!!
End of Note to self!!!
Lmao!!
A Note Of Thanks!To everyone who passed good wishes my way while my father was in the hospital... I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your prayers were awesome...and again thank you! We've got lots of doctors appointments to keep, but anything to keep him here as long as we can...
Nothing new really going on here... just bein' me.
My thought for the day:
"It's better to be hated for who you are, than be loved for who your not" - VanZant
Love and Smooches,
-Sher
A Note Bout My Family MembersThinkin to myself I shouldn't say anything but these guys are some of the best, in my opinion. Hense why they are in my family list. True gentlemen, they are all! There are a few in there, Rambler, Jim and Will who are the bestest...muah and hugz to the three of ya!!!
A Note To The People On Lchey guys...
so i'm about to be out but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has left comments and rated me...It is grately appreciated...I have met some wonderful people on here and they know who they are cuz I talk to them almost everyday or I try to leave them comments. If you get bored at all today leave me some love and I will try to get back to you.... Thank you so much for all the LC love and I hope you guys have a wonderful NIGHT!!
Love,
Amanda ur babygirl
A Note To My Ex!It is time to say goodbye please stay out of my life.I have moved on and so should you.There is nothing to gain by revisiting what was.You lost my trust I can not go back you even lost my love.Why can you not just watch from afar?I could have been yours forever but you walked on me now I say goodbye to you.Goodbye Andrew!
A NoteWELL THIS IS JUST TO LET U KNOW THAT I MAY NOT HAVE TIME TO GET EACH EVERY ONE OF YA'LL BUT I DO HAVE MUCH LOVE FOR ALL OF YA'LL AND I DO KNOW THAT U ARE THERE SO PLZ DON'T THINK THAT I DONT CARE THAT U R THERE ITS JUST HARD SOMETIME TO GET TO ALL OF YA'LL BUT I DO TRY AND BELIVE ME THE ONE WHO TALK TO R THE ONE WHO GET REPONED TO FIRST OF COUSRE !! BUT THERE ALMOST 200 FRIENDS ON MY LIST I DONT DENY NO ONE BUT THAT IS ALOT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH AND I DO LIKE TO TALK WIT ALL SO... LATERS ALL HUGS AND KISSES AND TAKE CARE...
Note To Readers Of My Blog!!When bad things happen some people cry,I write!! I've had a shitty weekend so what I've writting this night is twisted,dark and most people can not handle it. So if your one of this people don't go any farther then this entery!!
"not Enough Mana! I Don't Have A Spell Ready!"...Yes.
...I've been playing that game again.
...And what's worse than before,
...I've beaten it almost twice in three days.
...On multiplayer with my boyfriend.
...Yeah, that's pretty disgusting.
...I'm using a sorceress,
...And he's switching between characters.
...Using a Druid,
...Necromancer,
...And an Amazon.
...I'be barely gotten any sleep.
...It appears that once again,
...I have no life.
...Geese.
...I should get into school.
...Ha ha, that would occupy my day.
...So yeah,that's what I've been doing...
...With the three days I've had the game.
...With the expansion pack.
...I'm such a loser.
...Ha ha, the Diablo 2 gamer.
...Not in town.
...I don't have a spell ready.
...Now that, is one big mushroom!
...(Okay, so those last three were from the first Diablo.)
...This is my entry. lol.
...Go Diablo 2.
Yay!
Not Even Closescared of life.. yes its true.. life passes too slowly one day and the next way to damn fast... scared of who i am and who i will become.. Made so many mistakes already.. and i know there are far more to come.. but some of them i know i could prevent.. with a little help.. but who to ask?? and where to turn to?? and is it truely what i want? life is rough right now... with a friend dead and all.. life sucks.. wake up one morn. to think that this day will be better than the last.. only to come to find out that its not.. not even close..
Not E Ven An Update, Just A Constant State I Guess?Is it possible to love somebody too much? I'm such a clingy fuckface. I hate it.
She is always on my mind and I almost wish I were busier so that I wouldn't be spending all my time waiting on her--because her life is much busier than mine. I just...I make myself sick sometimes with the way I am about her. No woman can deal with a clingy guy for long. I'm trying so fucking hard NOT to be apain in her ass, but I can only imagine that she probably views my little "just called to let you know I love you"s as me being some paranoid fuckhead--which I guess maybe I am. I need her. I need to be with her.
I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry if this bothers you.
Not Enough Timehey there my friends
how is every one.. look i know that most of you have known that i responed more than what i have..i wish i had the time to get on here like i use too.. i had to pick up another job.. right now i am bust my ass working 2 jobs along with school. it is not fun :-( .. well i figuered i would let you all know.. i wish i could get up here and post some more stuff for you all.. may soon one day i will be able to when things slow down here...lol.... the sooner the better..lol
well have a good weekend to you all. i hope i might be able to have some fun..
later
hugs
ash
Not Everyone Is Holy Enough And Healthy Enough To Have A Front Row Seat In Our Lives.there Are Some People In Your Life That Need To Be Loved From A DNot everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.There are some people in your life that need to be LOVED FROM A DISTANCE.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships, friendships, and fellowships!
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to:
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth up hill and which ones are going down hill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gifts that lie within you?
The more you seek the God head and the things of God...the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God the more you seek things honorable...the more you seek growth, peace of mind
Not Enough TimeIt's almost time for Thanksgiving, seems like I don't have enough time anymore. Now that I'm single again, life has gotten so busy, I was shocked to discover that there are men who actually want to go out with me. That is very exciting, as I figured I'd just be alone for a long time, if not forever. It is a lonely place I find myself in none the less. I miss having someone here with me, the closeness. Not that I want my former boyfriend back. To much bad history there. I think it's just the holiday blues getting to me, the though of spending Thanksgiving alone is not appealing, but I do have a 4 day weekend which is nice. And I hate turkey!!! So all in all being alone isn't such a bad thing, I can catch up with all my friends on Cherry Tap, and get some gaming in to boot. And of course there's sure to be a party or two going on. Just have to remember my favorite saying, Don't worry be happy.
Note This Is From A BullitenThe embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a M
Note To Selfpunch david in the face when you see him, he called you a slut, after you punch him in the face, you can kiss him. maybe.
Notes On Nsfw Flagging Abusesubject: NSFW Flagging Abuse
post date: 2006-11-24 08:51:59
Cherries:
Most of you are smart enough to use common sense here, but for the those of you who need more clarification.
1. DON'T Maliciously flag photos or you will be deleted. We have a NO tolerance policy. If you see an excessive amount of photos that you think need moderation, please report to a bouncer first before going on a flagging campaign.
2. DON'T Flag a photo of a person in their bathing suit or underwear if you can see their face clearly. If you there is ANY nudity, please flag. This means see through garments. If the person is looking REALLY slutty, please flag. Use your common sense here.
3. DON'T take it personal if one of your photos is flagged. The NSFW policy was designed to target Main photos and public areas. When your photo is flagged, it means you can NOT use it as a main photo. Pleas focus your flagging attention to the public areas.
Ass, crotch, cleavage shots without a face should
Notes On Nsfw Flagging Abusesubject: NSFW Flagging Abuse
post date: 2006-11-24 08:51:59
Cherries:
Most of you are smart enough to use common sense here, but for the those of you who need more clarification.
1. DON'T Maliciously flag photos or you will be deleted. We have a NO tolerance policy. If you see an excessive amount of photos that you think need moderation, please report to a bouncer first before going on a flagging campaign.
2. DON'T Flag a photo of a person in their bathing suit or underwear if you can see their face clearly. If you there is ANY nudity, please flag. This means see through garments. If the person is looking REALLY slutty, please flag. Use your common sense here.
3. DON'T take it personal if one of your photos is flagged. The NSFW policy was designed to target Main photos and public areas. When your photo is flagged, it means you can NOT use it as a main photo. Pleas focus your flagging attention to the public areas.
Ass, crotch, cleavage shots without a face should b
A Note On Poems...Some of these are older, but some are new to me today, all my own original work. I'm just feeling my writing roots, please enjoy them :-)
A Note Of The New OnesThe new poems say "you" at times, just want to note that you is an annon, a ghost of a ghost, someone past who doesn't exist for the sake of my poetry, anyone and everyone, this is just me and not me writing for the pain of someone else, again, I hope "you" enjoy
A Note To Texas_giggleIf someone is kind enough to pass this along to you, then this will most likely be my last comminique with you. I want you to know that I wish you had given me some chance to know you better. You have seen my passionate streak, but I wish you had seen the rest of my personality as well. I am a good and decent man and friend. Please forgive my obsession with you of late. I just got carried away when you shut off comminication without word or warning. It troubled and hurt me greatly. Take care of yourself and know that I wont bother you again. I wish you well.
NoteDear Friend's.I just got on to say hello.And to see how everyone was doing. I have been real busy with work. so that is why i have not been on here.But i would like to also add that im friend's with 2 people that don't like one another right now. And i hope in do time this will pass.I had talk to her on yahoo and told her i was joined back up. She told me that her and a good friend of her's were no longer friend's.I had asked her what should i do. that it was all up to her since we have been talking for along time now she had told me that she was not going to make me pick between friend's and that was not right,I feel that take's a real big person to stand up and say that.Well my friend's i need to get going i have alot of stuff to get done here at home and my boyfriend is looking at me with puppy dog eye's. Good night my dear friend's SMILE's from Tammy xoxo :)
A Note To Tawnya The Love Of My LiveTake my hand my sunshine, I wish to help you along. Just knowing there are two of us can help to make you strong.
I know life seems unfair and sometimes gets you down, but know that I am here for you I will always be around. So set a day aside and together we will walk down all your troubled pathways,for it helps sometimes to talk.
If you should need some time to do this on your own, then I will be here waiting since you wish to be alone.
I guess I want to say that I hold our Love dear.
And if you ever need me just reach out,cause I am here.
In Love Rudi
Note To Self.As I was going through these papers, I found a note that I had written to myself quite some time ago. I thought I'd share it with you.
Sarah Leigh,
It basically comes down to the following: you either get busy living or you get busy dying. It's up to you. You have to make the choices that govern your personal life. You are what you make of yourself. You are a product of yourself and your choices. You must choose to make it. You must make it for yourself.
After having found the undeniable proof of my own knowledge (knowledge breeds responsibility, folks), I posted that lovely pink sheet on my wall. I've read it many times today. Each time, my responsibility strikes me.
You see, I'm creating my environment. Not only have I plastered my walls, but I have also ripped apart my pantry, removing certain items. I have visual reminders, such as pictures of loved ones and my paperclip chain (for every pound I lose, I add a clip). Again, I'm creating my environment.
For me, stru
Note OneStory opens a month after character one moves there. He is still getting used to the town and the new enviroment. Character two's ex shows up unexpectedly and trouble follows.
Time goes by relatively peacefully when main villain shows back up in town. Shortly thereafter several town businesses get burned down and the crops rot on the stalks and vines in local farms. Talk of witchcraft and satanism start to spread. Mayor starts gathering a following to run the coven out of town or worse.
Meanwhile, tension begins to build as some of character two's girlfriends start to have crushes on her fiancee while others start falling under the sway of the main villain.
Note TwoHe turned the corner and spotted (insert name) trailing three of his female victims behind him. (Insert name) spotted (insert name) and smiled, the evil seemed to flow right off him. Unprepared to confront him right now, (insert name) turned around and headed back the way he came. Behind him, he could hear (insert name) laughing at him and say, "Come back when you grow up little witch. I'll be here playing with my toys." The sound of moans from the women followed him down the street for blocks.
The NotebookSo many of my close, long- time friends have asked me in the last severaql months if I had seen the movie, "The Notebook". I would reply, "No, why" and they would all say the same thing. They would say that my personality was that of the lead male character. Naturally I had assumed it was all just to flatter me.
Well, today, I was fortunate enough to be able to veiw this remarkable film. So many of you have been so right . I am exactly like the main character. Even the concept of the movie is everything I believe in and have been saying for months. That love doesn't come from a wallet. Money is insequential when love is involved. The idea that love given should be lasting is not as old fashoined or as far fetched as many may think.
Why do so many people put stipulations or conditions on their love? Why is it so difficult for so many people to accept true love when it is given to them? It's like everyone lives in fear to open up and give or recieve love. Sure people get bur
Note From The UniverseA Note from the Universe
You know,
you've been blessed
with a great number of gifts.
Your insights,
good taste,
and savoir-faire.
Friends who adore you,
elements that support you,
and spiritual laws that serve you.
Yet, in my book at least,
what really takes the cake,
is that you get to be you.
I pulled a few strings.
The Universe
A Note I Received From A Friend In The UkTwo Proposals Worth Considering...
New Gas Plan....Blair wants us to cut the amount of fuel we use. The best way to stop using so much fuel is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 11 million less people using our fuel. The price of fuel would have to come down as a result.
New Immigration Plan... Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to Britain, then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq, and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.
If they
refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq a
Not Enough !Not Enough Video - Van Halen lyricsVan Halen Music VideosMusic Video Codes by VideoCure
Not Everything Is As It SeemsA sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. Seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?"
She asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him?
" She said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, " there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room
Not Enough !Not Enough Video - Van Halen lyricsVan Halen Music VideosMusic Video Codes by VideoCure
Noted Randomly Of MoviesI was going to say that Little Miss Sunshine was the only movie I saw in 2006 to mention Nietzsche (I haven't seen that many movies) but I'd have to add The History Boys to the list. Though Little Miss Sunshine mentioned Proust also (and the second of the two of course a much wider range still).
Good year for interesting movies in and out of the mainstream by the way...
Not Even Words Can TellNo words can tell how the heart feels when the person you love rips your feelings apart piece by piece
No words can discribe how many tears you cry when the one you love leaves and doesent say goodbye
Not Even Words Can Tell
No words can tell the one you love really how much you love them if the one you love is not listening, just turning their back to you and walking away with another girl once again
No words can tell the kind hearted people how much time they are waisting, but they do not think in thier hearts they are waisting time
Not Even Words Can Tell
No words can tell the loved unloved soul that there might be another chance for them and the one they love, because by this point they are already dead
The hurt, sarrow, and the feeling of being unloved by the only person they ever wanted to feel loved by got to them and they couldnt take it anymore
No words can tell the person that they loved how they felt, because the dead one was the o
Not Every Soldier, But Obviously A Fewby Glenda
"Five US soldiers have been charged in a rape and multiple murder case that has outraged Iraqis, as proof emerged the rape victim was a child of 14, and not over 20 as US officials insist. The 14 year-old teenager lived in Mahmoudiya, south of Baghdad. Iraq will ask the United Nations to end immunity from local law for U.S. troops, the human rights minister said on Monday.
Although U.S. military has claimed the girl allegedly gang-raped by five U.S. soldiers was an adult over the age of 20, documents show the girl was just 14.
Reuters news agency authenticated the rape/murder victim's age on Sunday by examining her birth certificate and identity card.
By Friday though the military backed away from those claims as Reuters and others began probing the matter. On Friday Army spokesman Paul Boyce said the U.S. military now believes the alleged victim was between the ages of 14 and 20.
In addition to raping and murdering her, the soldiers allegedly killed both her p
A Note To Cierra's Pr Peeps....I’m ready to make CIARA my new ‘It’ girl...... but you folks need to send me a pic of her genitals first........ I won’t publish the pictures to my audience and at least we can move forward.......
I understand that she is supposed to have an extra large labia.......and I’m cool with that....... Hell, if the lips of her happy no no spot are large enough to put lipstick on I may even be convinced to think that it is sexy......but I am strongly opposed to making love to CIARA if she has a penis....... Even a small one.
Let’s say she has a penis and beef curtains… I’m still opposed to having sex with her....... although I don’t think that she should be stripped of her right to marry BOW WOW or MISSY ELLIOT or whomever is into that type of thing......
that is all....
Im jus sayin.....
Note To The Viewer...Ok... If you are prissy or proper, or just cant seem to let go of yourself... If you get offended over a few pictures, then don't go look at them. Don't even look over here at me. Later!
Robbie
Not EnoughHis strength is never enough
just passing smile through my window
a casual word I hear over and over
reminds me and makes me laugh inside.
But to him my love is never enugh
not needed, not wanted
he causes my cries
then wants to know how he can quiet them.
A shot of ignorance poured into a wine glass
his faith is never enough
a fleeting feeling of security
a warm embrace that fades into the days that pass.
Like a feeling I cannot keep
so sincere to hear but so painful to feel
second best, someone stealing my spot
my treasure, but who can own love.
My smiles are never enough
when half of the time they are lies
just a show I perform for others
who never seem to see past my costume.
Sometimes it really doesn't matter
but sometimes it leaves me empty
they are not enough just a chilling
phrase meant to be warm.
A love that's only there sometimes
or not at all, what is enough
are you enough, am I trusting you
too much because I need to trust so badly.
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