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Pepsi Company
Don't buy Pepsi in the new can. Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building , and the Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, Under God." Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone. In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi corporate office, either! So if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it. HOW FAST CAN YOU FORWARD THIS ONE?
Movin Back To Tx
I am movin back to TX. i found my biological family and i am movin. i am gonna miss SC some but not alot! oh well!
i post a blog, and five people read it. i post a new pic a minute later, and it has 20 ratings in 10 seconds. kind of makes me question people! lol...
A Little Something To Make Ya Smile.
Talented Artist...
Check out her work here...
Im Sad
Caddy Comments
# 10 -- Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." # 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now." # 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually." # 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. T hat would be too much of a coincidence." # 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass." # 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." # 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." # 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I'
Outraged At Business For Treatment Of Soldiers!! Please Repost
This Wisconsin company needs to hear from all of us who support our Troops whether they believe in the War or not. No company who enjoys the benefits our Nation should respond in this rude manner. Thank you for your Support. Kathy SNOPES VERIFICATION: FROM SOLDIER TO COMPANY: To Whom it may concern: Do you ship to APO addresses? I'm in the 1st Cavalry Division stationed in Iraq and we are trying to order some mats but we are looking for who ships to APO first. SGT Hess FROM COMPANY TO SOLDIER From: Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 9:44 PM Subject: Re: Feedback: from SGT Hess, We do not ship to APO addresses, and even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq. Bargain Suppliers Discount-Matscom
To Travis
travis you were allways there for me and i couldnt be there for you miss you lots Music Video:FALLEN (by Sarah McLachlan)Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone
When Dating
Your dating personality profile:Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously.Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.Your date match profile:Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If her jokes make you laugh, she has won your heart.Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.Your Top Ten Traits1. Liberal2. Funny3. Athletic4. Big-Hearted5. Practical6. Adventurous7. Shy8. Intellectual9.
Yes I Don't Know Much About Computers...
My mother didn't pay the bill so i can't check my mail. sorry.
Im Moving Out Of My House For A Bit
ok the drama has SPEWED out more so im packin my shit and going to my parents... it maybe 2 weeks or so but they have a cable out there, but if im not on that means it didnt work on my POS ok.. so keep me in your heart and ur prayers.. i need to get out cuz my anxiety is driving me nuts and i cant funtion here, i cant get my kid on the bus this morning cuz that would require me waiting for the bus where she could get me... how pathetic grrr... but thats life. anyway keep sending me messages.. hope to see u later tonight... kisses all sarah
Starting A New One
Well finally getting this up and going. Nothing else to do on these cold winter days. Just wish I was down in Florida where it's hot. Will add some new pics once I get thigs sorted out around my desk. They say a clean desk is the sign of a sound mind - well I'm far from sound then :)..but maybe thats a good thing considering where I work. takne care and be safe out there. Cheers
If I Let You Hit It...
1. Which of us would be in control? 2. Would you whisper freaky things in my ear? 3. Would you talk dirty to me if I asked you to? 4. Would you kiss me with a little or a lot of tongue? 5. Would you go down on me? 6. Would you give me a hickey? 7. How many rounds would we go? 8. What would you want to do afterwards? 9. Would you take off all your clothes for me? 10. Would you lick and bite me all over? 11. Would you like foreplay or just get straight to the point? 12. Would you take your time if I told you to? 13. Would you fall asleep when we were done? 14. Would you want to go fast or slow? 15. Where would you want to "do it" at? 16. Would you be loud or quiet? 17. Do you think you could make me have an orgasm? 18. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you? 19. WOULD YOU MAKE LOVE TO ME TODAY?
To Dani
its been a year since you left me alone in this world i miss you alot and will allways remember the good times we had together Music Video:I WILL REMEMBER YOU (by Sarah McLachlan)Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone
Female On Female
I slowly walked up behind her and quickly placed my left hand over her mouth while my right slid down the back of her dress and felt her sweet female flesh tighten on her bare buttocks as she stood in surprise and muffled cry of alarm issuing from her covered mouth, but audible only to me.Ê Her head turned towards me and I replaced my hand with my mouth in a fierce open mouth kiss while my arm bent her towards the bar and my hind on her buttocks traced her crack all the way down to the warmth of her increasingly wet vulva.Ê My fingers lightly explored her wetness which was coming is in large volumes until my fingers were well coated and then I moved even farther under her pelvis and felt my fingers slip over her erect center of pleasure and a shudder ran through her whole body.Ê Now I circled my prey varying the pressure from very soft at first to moderately firm when she broke off our kiss and leaning back against me began to quietly moan with each ragged breath.Ê Ê With my right h
Myspace Hackers
the top two hackers on myspace i know personally are the band sikfuk an a chick name joangrinder an tom himself
Take The Challenge...if You Read This Answer The Darn Questions...come On You Think You Got What It Takes?
1. Which of us would be in control? 2. Would you whisper freaky things in my ear? 3. Would you talk dirty to me if i asked you to? 4. Would you kiss me with a little or a lot of tongue? 5. Would you go down on me? 6. Would you give me a hicky?? 7. How many rounds would we go? 8. What would you wanna do afterwards? 9. Would you take off all ur clothes for me? 10. Would you lick and bite me all over? 11. Would you like 4 play or get straight to the point? 12. Would you take your time if I told you to? 13. Would you fall asleep when we were done? 14. Would you want to go fast or slow? 15. Where would u wanna "do it" at? 16. Would u be loud or quiet? 17. Do you think u could make me have an orgasm? 18. Are u gonna re-post these so I can answer them for you? 19. WOULD U MAKE LOVE TO ME TODAY? take the challenge
Final Fantasy Xii
Oh my god. This game is eating my brain. I absolutely adore the 'ell out of it. I have crushes on people in it too already. The graphics on this one are spectacular. Right now though I am not going to play it.. I am going to go outside and build Atarah a snowwoman. ^^
Home Sweet Home!
and high speed internet is a beautiful thing!
Laugh It Up, Son...
Since today, January 22, is routinely labeled by experts as the most miserable day of the year, here are some things that made me laugh today. They are headlines culled from, the holy grail of weird news reporting. Hopefully, they will cheer you up as well. Cheesemaker appeals for return of equipment in caerphilly-worded statement. Brie on the lookout, edam well wants it back During a dispute do you A) punch a 3-year-old and a 9-month-old in the face, B) attempt to drag a woman from her car, or C) ask arresting officers where they live so you can molest their wives? This overachiever goes for D) All of the above What evangelical program has converted over 400,000 people through its ministry? Why, Karate for Christ, of course Drunk driver still blames everyone else. Yep, that includes the 76-year old deaf man he ran over, who "wasn't where he should have been." Study finds hopping on one leg 50 times a day can help women stave off osteoporosis, land Paul McCart
See You There
Music Video:ANGEL (by Sarah McLachlan)Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone Go with the angels now dad ill see you on the other side my love is aways with you
i think it's weird that the Exorcist doesn't bug me anymore. (It's actually one of Luvy's favorite movies, go fig) but it was on last night and it was between that or Law & Order: CI which I don't care for that much. But yeah I'm watching it and smirking at certain parts. I don't know it doesn't scare me anymore it makes me laugh! Just thought I'd share. =)
Ever Do Something Stupid?
I somehow deleted my e-mail address... wtf??? i was trying to update my cam and it just, fuck i feel so stupid right now. on teck sepport on hold waiting to see if i can get it back.
Warm Hearts
May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. Blessings always and forever after...
New Pepsi Can
Don't buy Pepsi in the new can. Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building , and the Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, Under God." Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone. In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi corporate office, either! So if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it. HOW FAST CAN YOU FORWARD THIS ONE?
Greatest Pleasure..
One of the greatest pleasures in life is laughter. I love a good laugh but never at the expense of another. I try to live in the present moment. The past is just a memory, and the future only exist in our imagination. The here and now is what has been given to me and I grasp at every moment to experience it fully. I am a mystery, and few truly know me at all, even those closest to me. I am blessed for the few that are there for me and stand by me, no easy task for mere mortals. Those who choose to stay experience love and loyalty like no other. I never forget those who have helped and guided me through my journey. I like people who are honest, even if it hurts me, please, don't lie to me. We've all been through things in our lives that have bumped and grazed us. I cast no judgement on anyone. We all know what's right and what's wrong, don't we? KARMA is powerful, it's there and there is no denying it so be mindful because you will reap what you sow, firsthand knowledge right here!! I d
Well Good News Peeps!
Seems the little CT group that I belong to, and that Im having a blast in, is giving me a The character Ice that I chose was a second stringer and now Im being promoted to the first string ranks... Be watching for a name change and a few pic changes....Im excited about all this and hope everyone will enjoy my "new" far as the character Ive chosen now goes... Here goes nothing!!
At War?
Wow. Talk about crazy intense dreams... I just woke up. I will write what I remember as it comes to me. First I will put the part with the animals as that that part does not seem quite so connected to the rest. I was outside. I talked a squirrel into coming over by me like I used to do in real life but this one I picked up and pet and took inside the house which he didn't like all too much. I was attempting to take pictures of him. Finally I had to let him go through my window and sitting right outside my window inside a huge hole in my tree was a huge owl staring at me. Solid brown with huge golden eyes and not much of a beak. I was like oh... that is where the hooting must have came from. The other detailed part sort of leads to the immense dream that I had. I went somewhere.. with these boys/men.. I believe to their house. There was a large metal tray of cold meat.. like duck I believe because it was dark meat but sweeter somehow. The girl that was with us didn't like it bu
What A Crappy Day...seriously!!
I had a quiet weekend...nothing much going on here..I stayed in Fri night and drank red wine and polished my toenails!!! hahaha Saturday night I baby sat for the nephews...we watched Pirates of the Carribean...which is a good movie btw.. On Sunday night i just went shopping with the gf's and went to bed early...but I woke up feeling icky several times in the middle of the night...Im terrified of getting that virus that is going around..and I feel slightly OFF today too.. *sigh* So Im tired today and feeling queasy and NO im not pregnant. You have to have sex for that to happen ;) I took today off tho I might go in later if I feel better. I really want to go back to bed but thephone keeps here I am..flirting with the gentlemen ;) Oh well heres my day...unplug the phone, snuggle up in my down comforter, ;)nice bowl of soup or some tea... *sigh*
Loss Of An Unborn Child
There are many woman and men facing the loss of their unborn child. And to help them and yourself if you have lost an unborn child I give this to you... This can be a time of great sadness that is often felt very deeply by those who have experienced the pain of abortion or a misscarriage. The caring environment at Care Net is the place where anyone safely work through feelings after experiencing those kind of losses. Trained peer counselors are available by calling 1-800-395-HELP. All Services are offered WITHOUT CHARGE OR CONDITION AND KEPT CONFIDENTAL. The people at these places are there for you...And so am I... CARE NET PREGNANCY RESOURCE CENTERS are a service organization that cares for unwed mothers, post abortion, miscarriages, the men in their lives and families who have experienced a crisis pregnancy, or have pregnancy related concerns. We offer a good kind ear as well if you just need someone to talk to...We are a locally runned outreach that has been offering services
Daily Rituals
I always start my showers so normal, the hot water running down my back, I wash my hair. I use a sugar scrub to soften my milk white skin. Then I take down my detachable shower head. I start slowly washing the remaining soap off my body, and then I can't resist but to let the spray of water cross over my pussy and it tickles me. I give in, I turn the shower head to thump water against me as hard as possible. Reaching up, I turn the hot water to almost scalding. With my left hand I part my pussy and position the head right against my clit. It's pounding away, harder and harder, the hot water is making the sensations intense. I look down and see my soft white skin turning bright pink from the heat. This used to be enough to get me off, but I've been getting worse. Needing more and more to make me cum. So now I reach up and grab two small hair claws, attaching each one to my nipples, there is small pain at first, but soon they become numb. No you see the thing about nipple clamps, they do
Object Of My Desire
I just now finished my shower- sorry it took so long. I am not sure what’s going on, but I feel like I have hormones seeping thru my skin. Today I woke up, just like this too. Horny as hell, that’s all I can think about today. I know, you’re probably tired of hearing about my showers. I do talk about them a lot, but you have to understand this is the high point of my day, well cept for your emails. They make me happy as well, now if they could just fuck me like my showers do, then I’d be set. Actually I’d prolly be rich too, I’m pretty sure people would pay to get fucked by their emails, the way I do in my showers. It’s funny, I had such an intense session, I had to come sit down and write about it. I didn’t want to forget any of the details. So here I am, sitting in just my robe, my wet hair lying upon my breasts, leaving large wet spots. I’m telling you, I just now came from the shower. You wouldn’t believe how much fun I had. I thought this would be like every other day. I was
Pantyhose Quiz
Pantyhose Quiz How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose at one time? Have you really thought about this? Well first lets put in 10 little piggies then we really need to add a couple of calves then how about a an untold numbers of hares and without further ado one
Impact* you see me coming torward with out bothering to say a word taking your hands slowly in mine making our fingers entwine kissing on the palms of your hands licking each finger slowly taunting, tasting teasing more on your feet, i pull you kissing quickly your collarbone feeling the pressure of my body you lean down to lovingly kiss my forehead, producing a half smile on my lips, but only for a second suddenly i am pulling you with me as we reach the threshold of the bathroom i dart my hand towards your waistline the chill of my cold hands on your warm flesh causes refreshing sensations to crawl down your spine i glide my hands gently and slowly towards your chest taking pleasure in feeling your nipples harden, and become erect from my touch i lift your shirt up and off of you surrounding your nipple with my lips teasingly licking it with my tongue hardly biting it with my t with my teeth suckin
A Poem
In my dreams, I don't envision rivers and streams, For the devil is deep within, Burning his impressions upon my skin, Look into my cold, steel blueeyes, To see all my hurt, deception, anger, and lies, A sensitive, caring, beauty is what everyone sees, With such conviction, compassion, and eager to please, No one sees my dark inner soul, Burning with the flames of repentance filling a lonely putrid hole, Sometimes I wonder why i exist, The answer is amiss, A girl so young and naive, Having such thoughts that wont leave, Who is this person I see? A mirrored reflection of me.
Angel Family I Need Help!
Angel Family i need help i got 2315 but i need to get 5,000 to win so plz i need much help i can't comment no more reached my level for the day so when u get a chance plz go and comment bomb on king i will return the favor for everyone when they need it but can't be in my contest since i'm the host makes it unfair. thank u everyone maria click the pic to comment
Dedicated To Those I Love
Dani my sweet Dani passed away Jan 21st 2006 love ya BF4E Travis Johnson passed away Jan 21st 2006 BF4E John Glore passed away Dec 11th 2005 miss you dad
Good Morning All.
Layout Codes Myspace Resources Top Comment Graphics happy cherry monday! smiles, sandra
First Blog
Ok..So I am noew here!! Ive only been here a week or so, and I really like it. Ive seen MANY fimilar faces and it is awesome. I just wanted to say thanks Owly..for bringing me here, Im sure we will have times like we use too! I am SOOO Looking foward to it...Love ya GF..and if anyone wants to add me, please do! Take care and have a wonderful day!
Dont Be Sad
i love u. Im so tired, these days Im running fast and my body is having trouble keeping up. Im sure that as I slid into bed last night you must have understood. Normally I always have energy for fun, but things have just been so hard for me lately. At least it seemed like you knew I needed rest. I could feel the warmth from your body as you wrapped your arms around me. I slid right into place, like a long lost key looks for its lock to settle into, I felt right at home. Placing my back against your chest, I can now feel our hearts beating as one. Silently both our chests rise and fall together. Satisfied with this I sigh and smile to myself how happy I am to have found you. You bring peace in me, and make me calm. Your warmth makes me feel safe and almost sane. I love the way you make me feel. Lying there in your arms I feel ecstatic. Thats when I begin, I cant help myself really. It just happens, but there I am squirming to get closer. Gently moving my body to completely press up
What The Fuck!?
Jane Fonda
FUCK THIS TRAITOR REPOST! Body: TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED IF YOU NEVER FORWARDED ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE FORWARD THIS SO THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW!!!!!!....... She really was a traitor A TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED KEEP THIS MOVING ACROSS AMERICA This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do Not remember, and didn't have to bear the Burden that our fathers, mothers and older Brothers and sisters had to bear. Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the "100 Women of the Century." BY BARBRA WALTERS Unfortunately, many have forgotten and still Countless others have never known how Ms. Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country, But specific men who served and sacrificed During Vietnam. The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat. In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison The "Hanoi Hilton." Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell, Cleaned, f
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ok so i slept a bit better last night ((thankfully)) but right now i'm still kinda tired so my eyes have that annoying burning feeling D: AUGH I HATE DE BURN!!!! makes my eyes all scratchy and such :( ohwell, time to exercise soon... AND OF COURSE WHO GETS ASKED TO SHOVEL THE GODDAMN DRIVEWAY AND BACK DECK?!??! -growls-
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My More...
Two women have a boozy night out on the town and as they make their way home, they feel an urgent call of nature. One woman says drunkenly to her mate, "The cemetry is just up the road...we can nip in there, have a wee behind the old gravestones and nobody will see us!" So they stagger in, find a couple of suitable old headstones to duck down behind and relieve themselves. "I haven't got anything to have a wipe with." Complains one woman. "I'm gonna use my knickers and chuck 'em!" Says the other. "Not bloody likely!!" says the first, "I'm wearing designer knickers at 40 quid a pair and there's no way i'm chucking them!" In desperation, she hunts around and manages to find a nice fresh wreath, so she picks it up and uses that! Satisfied, the two women stumble off and continue home. The following morning, one woman's boyfriend telephones the other woman's boyfriend, "I think we'll have to keep and eye on our girlfriends mate, mine came home last night without any knickers!" "
Anyone else have a parent that should NOT be allowed near a computer? Dad calls me usually a couple times a week with stuff. He can't connect to the internet.. he can't print.. he can't save. Ughhhhhhh!!!!!! I love my Dad and would do anything in the world for him. But his computer is a source of frustration! A perfect example of Dad and his skill levels on the computer. I don't remember what the reason was but I told him to save what he had typed in Word and close the program and then reopen it. I found out Dad had forgotten how to save things, so whenever he needed to save something, he would tell his computer to reboot so it would prompt him to save it. He thought that was the only way to do it. Dad has to write everything down. SO when IE7 came out, I decided not to upgrade and confuse him. Besides, because of where he lives he can only get dialup (middle of nowhere) and its a really slowdialup. When I downloaded virus software for him it took 4 hours. Yesterday
Girly Survery
50 girly questions 1. What is your name? Kathrine 2. What color is your bra? Black and Pink 3. Do you straighten your hair everyday? For the most part yes. 4. Do you worry about the size of your boobs? no... i love my boobs. 5. Are you the typical girl who's addicted to gossip? nope. 6. What's your favorite girly magazine? Don't really read magazines. 8. Would you kill for chocolate? nope. 10. Jeans or skirt? both 11. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable? nope... I like to be comfy. 12. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? nope. 13. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? Yup. 14. Would you leave the house without makeup? Yes. I hardly wear makeup. 15. What's the biggest turn on about guys? personality and eyes. 16. What about the biggest turn off? being full of themselves... I hate a guy that thinks hes god gift to women. 17. Do you consider making out "unladylike"? Nope... not at a
Will You Ever Learn?
So what’s the point in all of this? When you will never change The days have past The weather’s changed Should I be sorry? Could I be sorry? I did it all for you Hoping you would see Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched Are we ready? But you think about yourself Only but yourself But what about… Un-lonely nights, romantic moments The love What about them Throw it all away You know me well You know it’s wrong Then what is it you feel? You hide behind those perfect smiles It won’t fool me because you already did But you think about yourself Only but yourself But what about… Un-lonely nights, romantic moments The love What about them Throw it all away The perfect dates, the sweetest kisses What about them Throw it all away
When I First Looked Into Your Eyes
When first I looked into your eyes each breath became a thousand sighs. My heart drummed out a thunder beat I glowed with joy from head to feet. The hand of love had touched my soul, as the bell of destiny began to toll. The tide of love began to rise, the world was filled with summer skies. My sodden clouds of cold and grey glowed with gold, then wisped away. A brilliant rainbow arched across, as waves of love began to toss. The air was filled with lovebird cries, when I first looked into your eyes. When I first looked into your eyes, all time and space were paralyzed And in that instant, I was shown a universe I had never known. I dwell there still, in Paradise, when I look into your eye
What's Your Flirt Style?
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Flirt Style? MY RESULT:Friend First You’d rather date a friend than a stranger. So you try to become friends with everyone, just in case.You’ve got a great flirt technique going on. You realize that friends are more important than dates, and you’ll move a little slowly in the romance game if it means keeping everyone your pal. Where could it go wrong? Well, your crushes might not even realize that you like them as more than a friend. Be their friends, but don’t be shy with your feelings, you know? Especially if your friends are hot. Take This Quiz!
If I Let You Hit It....???
1. Which of us would be in control? 2. Would you whisper freaky things in my ear? 3. Would you talk dirty to me if i asked you to? 4. Would you kiss me with a little or a lot of tongue? 5. Would you go down on me? 6. Would you give me a hicky?? 7. How many rounds would we go? 8. What would you wanna do afterwards? 9. Would you take off all ur clothes for me? 10. Would you lick and bite me all over? 11. Would you like 4 play or get straight to the point? 12. Would you take your time if I told you to? 13. Would you fall asleep when we were done? 14. Would you want to go fast or slow? 15. Where would u wanna "do it" at? 16. Would u be loud or quiet? 17. Do you think u could make me have an orgasm? 18. Are u gonna re-post these so I can answer them for you? 19. WOULD U MAKE LOVE TO ME TODAY? take the challenge
Ever Wonder??
You woke up this morning Got yourself a gun, Mama always said you'd be The Chosen One. . . . . . . When you woke up this morning, When you woke up this morning, When you woke up this morning, You got yourself a gun Sorry folks..I had to go there :)
The Best Living Will I've Seen
I, (insert name here), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: Glass of wine chocolate Margarita chocolate Martini Cold Beer chocolate Chicken fried steak cream gravy chocolate Mexican food chocolate French fries chocolate Pizza chocolate ice cream cup of tea chocolate Chocolate Sex Chocolate It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
What's Wrong With Me?
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Wrong With You? MY RESULT:Too Friendly You’re very open with people, which is great, but sometimes those people are wearing brass knuckles, which is not great. You tend to think that people are generally good at heart, and because of that, you’re very trusting. People are drawn to your positive attitude and you tend to make friends easily. (You might also be a little vain, but hey, who could blame you? You’re a good-looking individual, and you have a right to be a little cocky about it.) So where could you go wrong? Well, if you’re too friendly, you might not be on alert for those folks you really shouldn’t trust. So try to use more caution when you meet new people. And quit trading gym socks with strangers. That’s just plain gross. Take This Quiz!
A Friend
A friend I never saw it coming It kinda snuck up on me But when it's presence was known I felt a calm relief I had an ear I had a shoulder I had a hand and it was urs That's when I knew, that I found a friend *COPYRIGHTED........DONT STEAL MY SHIT W/O CONSENT!*
Alice Got Fucked In Wonderland
ALICE GOT FUCKED IN WONDERLAND WARNING: THIS IS NOT DISNEY’S RENDITION!!!! We start our story off it is a sunny day ( as usual in this shit) anyways. We find Alice reading Helter Skelter eating Chop Suey. Alice feels around and finds two bars of X hidden away in a plastic baggie hidden in her panties so a fucking PIG wouldn’t find her little stash, because she knew that pigs couldn’t touch her sweet pussy! As her X started to kick in it looked as if the grass was turning into needles. She soon saw multicolored aerials so she followed them. The only thing she couldn’t figure out was why she started to have this monstrous ORGASM!!! Pink headed and drugged wearing her Catholic school girl uniform she walks on and finds a psycho rambling on about a white rabbit chasing the white pony it left her clueless. She walked on a little further and laid down she started to play with that sweet pussy she felt the need to after all it is like science it just h
Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me
1. First thing you wash in the shower? my body 2. What color is your favorite hoodie? dark blue 3. Do you like coffee? no 4. How do you get to school? I take online college classes 5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? okay, could be a little better 6. Do you have a crush on anyone? Yes 7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? It depends on the usage 8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having. I don't dream 9. Could you eat your favortie food everyday for a month and not get tired of it? Yes 10. What are you craving? Andy's Philly cheesesteak 11. What's your middle name? Lee 12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? cole slaw and sourkraut 13. What color do you wear the most of? probably blue, since I wear jeans a lot 14. How old is your dad? he died at the age of 46 15. Would you dance with me to the taco song? What's a taco song? 16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? beats me...if so, then it was when I was younger 17. Do you bi
If I Let You Hit It????
1. Which of us would be in control? 2. Would you whisper freaky things in my ear? 3. Would you talk dirty to me if i asked you to? 4. Would you kiss me with a little or a lot of tongue? 5. Would you go down on me? 6. Would you give me a hicky?? 7. How many rounds would we go? 8. What would you wanna do afterwards? 9. Would you take off all ur clothes for me? 10. Would you lick and bite me all over? 11. Would you like 4 play or get straight to the point? 12. Would you take your time if I told you to? 13. Would you fall asleep when we were done? 14. Would you want to go fast or slow? 15. Where would u wanna "do it" at? 16. Would u be loud or quiet? 17. Do you think u could make me have an orgasm? 18. Are u gonna re-post these so I can answer them for you? 19. WOULD U MAKE LOVE TO ME TODAY? take the chalenge
Fuck Or Pass
There is at least one person on your list that wants to fuck the hell out of you. So lets play the fuck or Pass! game. The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a "COMMENT" saying "yep, I'd Fuck you." SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies. There is at least one person on your list that wants to do u so!!! repost this as "Fuck or Pass"
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Stupied Bitchs.
ok so dumb cunts need to learn not to run there mouth cuz i will find out. and i will beat their ass. to bad we are still talking. NO WE ARE NOT DATING. but we are still good friend. or w/e you wanna call us. im sorry but he's not urs. My Song to her. Bodybag By Hit the Lights. You're gonna need a bodybag, I'll break bones you didn't know you had. When I'm done there will be nothing left of you for your friends to hold on to when they find you cold and blue tonight, face down in a parking lot. Next time around, think about what you say before you run your mouth. Cause you're all alone and you're nothing without your friends now. You can tell the pavement what you really said but I already know. You got another thing coming if you think you're walking home.
I Need Help!
i really need help. i have a boyfriend who is kinda like a bitch boy (as everyone else sees it) i love him dearly i really do but there are some time where he dont tell me whats wrong and it makes it worse on me to where i have to start crying in order for him to tell me whats wrong. and half the time i feel like i'm not doing my part in the relationship and it hurts me more than it hurts him. and on top of that my family aint helping either because i have more drama in my life than in my own little world. when we are with eachother we are fine and dandy but when we are apart he acts like i'm just someone he can run his mouth to and get mad at when i really havent done anything. i want a guy who is sweet , secure , respectful , honest , not cheating on me and after 2-3 month to be sure he will be with me forever oh and last but not least a guy who has muscles and can stand up for me plus our relationship....i really dont know what to do i have tried everything i can not to break up wi
You And Me
Look deep into your heart Please tell me what you see Am I on your mind? Are you thinking of me? I looked into my heart Can you guess what I saw? You were on my mind And everyone was in awe I never thought I’d find A love as wonderous as this I always thought I was The one that love always missed
OK.. So normally I don't blog about these types of things. This is one topic that has really made me upset. I'm sure some of you have heard that California legislatures are trying to pass a law saying that you can not spank a child under the age of 3. I'm not to sure about all of you but as a child I was spanked when I did something bad. I spank my children as well when they do something bad. There is a difference between spanking your child to let them know that they did something bad and beating your child. I think if you beat a child you should go to jail no questions asked. I think it's absolutely disgraceful that we have teen-agers now that scream child abuse because we won't let them go out with their friends until midnight when they are 12. What is this world coming to??? I just don't understand how anyone can tell us how to raise our kids. One of the reasons that there are so many "bad" kids today is that no one cares enough to discipline them and if they do care enough to they
Why do people have high expectations for us Why do they want to change the way we dress or talk or music we listen to They don't know us on the inside all they see is our outer shell What they don't know is we aren't going to change ourselves for someone else People think what they see is what they get That statement is not true at all They don't know us by our personality but our clothes They expect us to do things to change out beliefs and to change the way we act just for one thing We wear jeans and a t-shirt yet they have such high expectations of us and think we can't do it
Love It
Dead Hearted....
I feel like i'm a walking Zombie almost, i'm so upset about what i want to do, and so confused that i'm not myself, i'm definately not happy. I want to be with Kody, I really do and i do love him, i just know that he won't change and be more responsible, and we will fight about the same shit if we get back together, and i just want to let him move on. And I guess if he likes this girl, then i should be happy for him. Its just hard for me to imagine him with someone else, and its hard for me to be his friend, because I don't know how to be his friend, I just know how to be his girlfriend.
Try To Think
try to think try not to sink sink into this sea of emotions that has your head rolling remember what you thought you forgot I won't go down by myself but I'll go down with all i got take a deep breath in hold it forever and then you will find trust in all you treasure
Playoff's Funny
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats fans too. Not really knowing what a Pats fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a patriot fan" she reports. "Then," asks the teacher," what are you?" "I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan!" boasts the little girl. The teacher asks Susie why she is a Colts fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Colts fans, so I'm a Colts fan too" she responds. "That's no reason!" the teacher says "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Susie smiles and says, "Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan!"
Trail Of Blood And Lies Part Ii
Trail Of Blood And Lies Part II Body: For Star Dove time went slowly by till finally coming to "Land of The Sky" With her brother's spirit ever guiding she found other Cherokees in hiding After losing their homes and land they were living among the white man They had hidden their Indian names out of mortal fear and shame... They had escaped the Trail of Tears but lived with mistrust and great fears Soon Star Dove did the same hiding forever her Indian name But into her heart there came a heart's love burning like a flame He held great passionate love for little Cherokee Star Dove Their love was profound and deep but her secrets she would forever keep Not even to her children ever revealed these fearful secrets that she concealed You ask, why did I write this story Because there's others like me Today Cherokees search the land looking for their Ancestor's lost clans Star Dove could have easily been yours or my Cherokee kin ... Somewhere in "Land o
Have A Great Week.
Snow Snow Snow
Richness All Around You
Monday, January 22, 2007 Richness all around you Wherever life may find you today is a beautiful place to be. Whatever you currently have to work with is everything you need to make this a memorable and fulfilling moment. There is value you're able to create right now that will always stay with you. There are joys to be experienced today that can change your life forever. No matter where you may choose to go, the first step is ready for you to take. The journey toward any destination you can imagine begins right here and now. There is richness all around you. There are possibilities stretching out in every direction. See the beauty in every detail and the value in every challenge. Listen to the purpose that springs from deep within you, and follow the feelings that you know are true. Let the brand new abundance that is born in every moment fill you fully with its warmth and substance. On this day, in this place, with the world as it is, take it all in and let the b
$20.00 Sometimes we just need to be reminded! A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are wor
Richness All Around You
Monday, January 22, 2007 Richness all around you Wherever life may find you today is a beautiful place to be. Whatever you currently have to work with is everything you need to make this a memorable and fulfilling moment. There is value you're able to create right now that will always stay with you. There are joys to be experienced today that can change your life forever. No matter where you may choose to go, the first step is ready for you to take. The journey toward any destination you can imagine begins right here and now. There is richness all around you. There are possibilities stretching out in every direction. See the beauty in every detail and the value in every challenge. Listen to the purpose that springs from deep within you, and follow the feelings that you know are true. Let the brand new abundance that is born in every moment fill you fully with its warmth and substance. On this day, in this place, with the world as it is, take it all in and let the b
Gawd@ My Sin
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Sin? MY RESULT:Anger You might have an anger management problem. (Please don’t hit us.) A lot of people see anger as a good thing, and they’re partially be right. After all, if it weren’t for anger, we probably wouldn’t have death metal or professional wrestling. But too much anger can be a bad thing (especially if you’re not a big fan of fatal injuries), so try to rein it in sometimes. Try to let it out in other forms, like haikus and watercolors. Take This Quiz!
Which Sin Am I?
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Sin? MY RESULT:Anger You might have an anger management problem. (Please don’t hit us.) A lot of people see anger as a good thing, and they’re partially be right. After all, if it weren’t for anger, we probably wouldn’t have death metal or professional wrestling. But too much anger can be a bad thing (especially if you’re not a big fan of fatal injuries), so try to rein it in sometimes. Try to let it out in other forms, like haikus and watercolors. Take This Quiz!
Heres an update on my upcoming surgery... Today I go and have a uterine biopsy and Friday morning I will be in surgery at 10 a.m to either remove the uterus if it turns out to be cancerous or just remove the lining due to hemmoraging.. I am hoping it is outpatient and I will be back to annoy everyone a.s.a.p Thanks to all that have showed kindness, concern, friendship and love.. Many don't understand how people can come to care for one another over the internet and to them I say,,, Ya dont know what your missing, because I have made a handful of true friends on here that I will cherish forever!! Heres lyrics to a song I thought fitting for the passing of 2 wonderful men Cedarcreekfisherman ( Dan) Cold_dark_stranger ( Brian) and now for what I'm having to face... Take care all and remember to tell those you love how very much you love them because sometimes, tomorrow doesn't come... Live Like You Were Dying (Tim Nichols/Craig Wiseman) He said: "I was in my early forties
Be Ya Self
I recently turned down the opportunity to do some modeling. I would usually jump at offers, but I have been out of that business for years now. My life has changed alot and I don't think it would be the best thing for my daughter right now. Maybe if I could do it more locally like in Denver, I would start again, but L.A. is just too far. But on the other hand, the fact that I even got another offer after all these years, makes me feel so much better about myself. It makes me realize just how pretty I am and that it's not conceited to think so anymore. For a long time, my ultimate goal was to pose for Playboy. I think I'm going to start working for that goal again.
What's My Sin?
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Sin? MY RESULT:Anger You might have an anger management problem. (Please don’t hit us.) A lot of people see anger as a good thing, and they’re partially be right. After all, if it weren’t for anger, we probably wouldn’t have death metal or professional wrestling. But too much anger can be a bad thing (especially if you’re not a big fan of fatal injuries), so try to rein it in sometimes. Try to let it out in other forms, like haikus and watercolors. Take This Quiz!
My Eyes..........
So many of you have commented or compilmented on my eyes, so I have put this video together for you. I hope you enjoy!
Sorry Mrs. Jack
I'm Sorry Mrs. Jackson (The Jesse Remix)Add to My Profile | More Videos
Good Monday morning to all of you. I have given it some great thought and with much encouragement from some of the members here and over on my Yahoo group so I have made a decision. I am going to begin writing erotic stories and try to sell them to publishers. Over on my Yahoo group I posted the same stories that posted here but strung them out to make it into 3 parts rather than just the 5 I posted here. The response was overwhelmingly ecstatic from the readers. The guys and the women both loved how I got them so HOT just from reading the story and many were sending me messages asking when the next part will be sent out to my blog. I have already chosen the the subject matter for my first attempt at turning a short story into a full length book. The book will be based on first attendance of a private swingers party at a hotel suite. Plenty of sub story lines possible there and one that is close to my own heart since we wish to go to a swingers party anyway. So obvious
Could Be's
He is all alone tonight Not another soul in sight With pen and paper he writes His thoughts under the moonlight He records his memories For his eyes only to see Most are sad, some are happy Others are future could be's He holds on tightest to those During both the highs and lows Cause they are the ones he knows Someday might replace his woes
Letting The Rest Of The Opinions Disappear
'you are fairly genius,' you said to me the other night drunk on cum and slithering purple in pink valleys i let you bask three more moments in the afterglow of God and well placed moans before I told you another story spelled out with my tongue upon your clitoris. one letter at time you screamed my name "GOD," you yelled "Oh God... Stephan... my fucking God... You're so damned brilliant. Fairly genius... tell me that story again... Please?"
Well, I finally did it... absolutely ate SHIT while walking across some ice to my car... It took until the 3rd major storm of the season, but I definitely made up for it. I can barely put any weight on my damn left knee right now, and it it definitely swollen up pretty good... This sucks!
Will I Ever Know??
For the pass few years i have experience love. post to be one of the best feeling there is ,but when you lose it. it fucking hurts like hell. Then you are searching for it again cause you miss that feeling the comfort the kisses and so on and i find it again 8 mths ago it was like love at first site that has never happened to me before i am hard chick to deal with when it comes to opening up and to express my feeling to someone, but with him i don't know why something always tell me to go back to him and again and most of the time he pushed me away and i just kept comign to him . ME and him been to though hell and back this year, i was a pyscho bitch i must say over this dude and it got me nowhere. But living in sin for the rest of my life, would that have changed anything if i didn't do it??? did you ever really loved me??? questions i will probably never know.. But one thing baby you will always be remember by me and just remember i loved you... Friends i hope
Used And Abused
used me or abused me used is a few more fingerprints and a little more wear abuse is forever changing around the pieces so they never quite fit together again see me through sightless eyes speak to me in soundless words touch me with emotionless detachment as the pieces crumble and fall slide and slither into an open passage that winds around itself untill all is lost and the recognition to the feeling lost and beyond rescue of the rescuers lost and beyond deisre of the beholder lost and beyond all but the fading voice of itself crying the lost tears of pain as a realization that all that is left is nothing and nothingness that echos upon its own emptiness.
Seven Quick Fixes To Feel Better
The signals our bodies use to tell us we need to cleanse ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally are multifaceted and often mirror symptoms we associate with illness. If we heed these signs, we not only feel better quickly but also stave off poor health before it can start. These quick fixes for common ailments can get you started. 1. Applying pressure to the acupressure point between the thumb and forefinger can release blockages causing pain, tension, and fatigue. You can relieve a headache naturally by squeezing for 20 seconds and releasing for 10 seconds, without letting go, four times. 2. To breathe freely, irrigate your nasal passages with a neti pot and warm salt water. As you clear and soothe the sinuses, congestion associated with allergies or infection will gradually disappear. 3. Apple cider vinegar is a powerful purifying and detoxifying agent. Soaking for 20 minutes in a warm bath infused with two cups of apple cider vinegar pulls toxins from the body a
Women Flour And Water
WOMEN Flour and water WOMEN Five tips for a woman.... 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you. 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other. Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts." .............................................................................................. Flour and water How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?.. and then you add eggs and sugar... and you get cake? Where did the glue go ? NEED AN ANSWER? Y ou know darned well where it went! That's what makes the cake Stick to your BUTT
The Cost Of Love
the cost of love is grief but have no fear for all who love can hold some comfort near remembering that love is like the soul and can not die but lives forever whole beyond the spheres of space and time it shines untouched by common hurt and harm and though the fabric of our mortal lives we rend true love begun can know no end so he who loves must know within his heart that though two loving souls are ment to part that parting lasts no longer then a sigh in gods great scheme by and by a gental waking free of hurt and pain and we shall stir and rise and meet again then side by side and ever shall it be together for all eternity by me
The Joyful Flow
Good Vibrations Feelings vibrate, just as all things in the universe do, at a particular frequency. Negative feelings like anger, guilt, and depression vibrate at low frequencies, while positive feelings like joy, appreciation, and passion vibrate at high frequencies. These high frequency vibrations make us feel good. This is why people and places that inspire and cultivate positive feelings have what we call good vibrations. Good vibrations inspire health, happiness, and optimism. When we are tuned in to good vibrations, our bodies heal, our hearts open, and our minds shift toward the light. We see new possibilities and feel powerfully energized to follow our inner visions. At the same time, we feel relaxed and capable of manifesting these visions without giving in to stress or struggle. Good vibrations put us in a state of perfect receptivity so that we feel it is the energy flowing through us that accomplishes what needs to be done. We feel guided, supported, protected, and n
The Empress
You are The Empress Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation. The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful. The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her. What Tarot Card are You?Take the
I Have Returned!
So I got back Friday evening from my 3 week long license and sales classes for my new job. And of course I can't even go to work onmy first day because of the ice. My car door was frozen shut and I'm sure the roads were pretty bad especially since the sun hasn't been out at all today. So that sucks. Money lost today but at least I can practise my presentations for tomorrow. But I met some awesome people while I was there. I met Jessica and she's awesome. I think she's the friend I've always needed in my life to get me through. Not to mention her husband and Dallas are a lot alike so I think they'll get along great. We're all going to the Rage in a Cage thing next month in Roanoke. Dallas and Michael both want to be in it next year, but thats going to take some serious training and since Hank hasn't been able to get back down here in over a month I don't think they'll get in enough classes to take on those guys in a year when they're taking one class a month. But then agai
Stuck On An Island
Stuck On An Island A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one" So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home." POOF, she is gone. The redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too." POOF, she is gone. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "What is the matter?" The blonde said, "I wish my friends were here."
Pit Bulls
PITBULL GENOCIDELETS STOP MAN'S BEST FRIEND FROM BECOMING ONE OF MAN'S RECENT MEMORIESThere is currently a bill going through that will ban the dog breed pitbulls from the United states. A breed who has gotten a very bad name, of all dog bites from all breeds of dogs, pitbulls rated number 4 FROM THE BOTTOM. So to eradicate a species based on something that is not the fault of its own, like any animal it learns to adapt to its environment. Any one who owns a pit bull know that he breed is one of loving and caring nature.Breed / Percentage of BitesMixed Breeds - 34%Shepherds - 7%Labs - 7%Rottweilers - 6%Boxers - 4%Chows - 3%Pit Bulls - 2%As you can see, pit bulls are extremely low on the list compared to other breeds which do not have the negative reputation which society has given pit bulls. Approximately 77% of all dogs pass the temperment test, while a whopping 95% of pitbulls pass. As a breed the pitbull does better on the temperment test than retrievers, labs, dalmations, and almo
I Feel Dead Inside.
Waking in morns past I find myself dreading partaking in events of the day. Feeling as though I have no spark left within me, I force myself out of misery so that I may begin the lie that is my life. Empty shadows follow me as I go about daily routines as if I was something "normal". A smile creeps onto my face as the day ends and I'm able to slip into my sweet nightmares leaving reality behind.
The Parrots!
The Parrots! A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquired. They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun? "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible." "Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Jacob. "My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." Thank you," the woman responded, "This may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she
The Parrots!
The Parrots! A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquired. They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun? "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible." "Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Jacob. "My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." Thank you," the woman responded, "This may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she
I can't believe it! There's snow in the desert! I've heard it happens, but I never thought it would really happen. It started snowing around 6:30pm last night, we got about 2 inches. I though to myself, it won't last by morning it will be gone. Stupid me! I wake up to this crap this morning. People here don't know how to drive in snow, there've been so many accidents. And people are "snowed in". They've got 1/2 the bridges in town closed down. I don't understand how people can get this fucking retarded over snow. Back home, it literally had to be half way up your door for you to be "snowed in". Alright, I'm done bitching, for now. I love seeing snow on the mountains, but not right outside my window. SHIT!!! IT'S SNOWING AGAIN!!!
Two Wolves
One evening an older, wiser, Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. One is *Evil*. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is *Good*. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Most Videos Working Now
Crunchy, Crunchy Nuts.
The majority of you who claim to be different or special really aren't. You're generic. I, on the other hand, and different. AGH! ANOTHER HAND! GET IT OFF!
This Goes For Everyone Out There ...
Ok , what the hell is going on here . Why is it you can get on here and there are all these super sexy hot people ? You know what I mean , you sit here thinking to yourself ,"damn , what I wouldn't do to that body " !!!! So you go out and about you see some hotties , but do you catch yourself thinking how this person kinda looked like so and so on CT , could it be ? I am wandering here , back to the main subject .....oops . Anyway - how many of you out there really are looking to hook up on a site like this ? Is it for shits and giggles , or for having some FUN ? What do you think ?????
Defined In Sexual Dictionary
Chris -- [adjective]:Insatiable to the point of crazy 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at
Ne1 Wanna B My Friend
name is adam but im not 18 im 14. i love sports i love animals i love cereal i love movies i love music i love poems i love cartoons i love snowboarding i love ppl who r nice n caring im a sweet,caring,honest,truthfull person n i jus b me. tc adam
Frozen Babes
Them Canadian broads, while cold as ice, sure are gorgeous. They are literally cold as ice because.. you know... it's a frozen wasteland up there.
(Women In Charge Of Everything) is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN! ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include: DAY ONE HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics) DISHES ; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts. REMOTE CONTROL Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - O
How To Clean The House
1. Open a new file in your PC . 2. Name it "Housework." 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?" 6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press mouse button firmly...... 7. Feel better? Works for me!
Armish Paraside By Werid Al Yankovic
More Funnies
There's a stoner and a super genius sitting on a bench waiting on a bus. The genius gets bored, leans over to the stoner and says, "Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you 50 bucks." The stoner says, "Alright, man." The genius asks the stoner, "What is the Pythagorian Theory?" The stoner replies, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. "Okay," the stoner says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?" The genius thinks real hard and finally gives up. He hands the stoner 50 bucks then asks, "So, what is the answer?" The stoner says, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative makes a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language
.:sagittarius:. The Sexy One
Once you have opened this bulletin, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then repost this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label, or you'll get bad luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. This is real shit, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there. .:VIRGO:. The Virgin Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost. .:SCORPIO:. The sex addict Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.)
Joke Time! Lol
These three guys die in a car wreck and they all go to Hell. When they arrive the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was. The first guy says, "It's gotta be the booze. I'm always drunk." The Devil decides to lock him in a room with nothing but shelves of every kind of alcohol imaginable. The guy's thinking, "Fuck yeah! Look at all this alcohol!" and runs into the room. The second guy says, "It's the women, I could never stay faithful to my wife." The Devil opens a second door and inside is nothing but the finest looking naked women as far as the eye could see. The guy was to be locked in for 100 years. He couldn't believe it and his dick got instantly hard and he went running into the room as the Devil locked the door behind him. The third dude says, "It's gotta be the bud. I'm always tokin' up." The Devil opens a third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10ft tall, icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke,chronic, green, death bud. The stoner can't believe it. He goes in and t
Today Is The Ay
well we find out if its a BOY or a girl and if i have to start saving bail and lawyer money today.
Smell Like Nirvana
My Music Page
hey everybody check this out or
And The Beat Goes On.....the Beat Goes On...
This blog entry is brought to you by: Second-hand Depot! Books, Movies, Music, Children! If it USED to belong to someone else, it's here! Bears-Colts! I was secretly hoping for this. Not only is this the first time in history that an African-American is in the superbowl, there'll be two, which garantees one of them will win. Sirs Smith and Dungy, best of luck! We've got a locksmith coming today to change the locks on the apartment. That should help the mood. We're doing ok, eveything is shifting back to normal, we just need to feel that we're safe in our place again. I got a quick e-mail from my american ex fiancée. Made me happy as we're still very good friends. Need to call her and talk, it tends to make both of us feel better afterwards. :-) This is me... And you're leaving.
Hi There
attractive test??!! Would you kiss me? [] Hell Yea [] Yes [] No [] Maybe Am I attractive? [] Heck no [] hot as Hell [] Fine [] Cute [] Okay [] Ugly! Do you think im a virgin? [] Yes [] No [] Don't know Name one thing you would like to do to me... [] hang-Out and Chill ________________________________ I look like.. [] A player [] One time thing [] next bf/gf If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me? [] Yes [] No [] maybe Would you rather.. [] Hook up with me [] Cuddle with me [] Date me [] Friends On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me.. [] 1 [] 2 [] 3 [] 4 [] 5 [] 6 [] 7 [] 8 [] 9 [] 10 Are you going to repost this so i can answer for you? [] Yes [] No What would you want me to be to you? [] Friend [] girlfriend/Boy friend [] Friend with benefits =) Repost as, "Attractive Test
Stoner Chicks Rule
Stoner chicks rule, yes it's true. Cause we can get more bud than you. Most guys think that girls can't toke, pass us the bowl we'll show you some smoke!!! Joints, pipes, bongs, who cares?? If it's weed and it's smokable, we'll be there. So if you do believe it or not, us stoner chicks can really smoke a lot of fucking POT!!!
His And Her Diaries
Her and His Diary Of A Texas Couple HER DIARY: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I de
Weird Al- Like A Surgeon
Search And Destroy
The magical crop Viewed from top circle of green Rippling very serene In the choppers breath That spells it's death And beginning of mourning As realisation is dawning From ground, RIP! Water, cops sip Laugh what a haul As ground they maul In a dedicated team My preemest of the preem Annexed from earth Gone all mirth
Ode To Weed
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. From bong, bowl, joint, or blunt I love your thick and smoky haze. You make me laugh no matter why My eyes are red, my mouth is dry. I enjoy you in my house and car You make me high, you take me far. To me you for sure no stranger Any nearby food's in danger. For when I smell your sweet sweet scent I don't mind that all my money's spent. When what's left in my bg is total shake I feel my wallet start to quake. I know I'll buy you over and over Stoned as hell, I'm in the clover. I love the feeling of being trashed And dread the words "This bowl is cashed." Getting high makes me want to sing and carol Although your seeds may make me sterile. But I'll still smoke you, wrong or not I live each day, I smoke my pot.
Maryjane's Mystical Magical
I love the way you grasp my brain Take a hit and hold it down Now take another and pass it around Once it comes to you again Take a hit and hold it in Now Pass it quick to a friend 'cause all too soon the fun will end Once it's a roach or maybe it's cached Then you'll have to pull your stash Roll up a joint or pack up the bowl C'mon now we have a goal Gotta get high Gotta toke a lot Gotta smoke up all the pot Now I'm happy Now I'm high Problem is my mouth is dry
Something I Have Been Working On
This is to my friends whose names inspired me to write this I couldn’t of done it without their inspiration. Love can find its place in the strangest places. To my kids who mean the world to me. To my family who has done nothing but support me, especially Wolfie she’s the one who inspired me the most to start writing again. It was a long day for the bounty huntress Mckayla she just gotten home from an important hunt he was a well known felon, she was running on pure adrenaline rush. Waiting for the next hunt, out of the blue she gets this call from the government she was a well known huntress, they needed her help with her training they knew she was the right one for the job. Ex CIA operative, DEA trained as well so she knew how to take care of herself. Her only weak point was the Special Forces guy she had fallen for that played her for the fool. Promised her the world her world she was going to quit her job to be with th
The Smoke Off:
In the laid back California town of sunny San Rapheal Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, You Prob'ly knew her well. She'd been stoned fifteen of her eighteen years and the story was widely told That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll. Her legend finally reached reached New York, that Grove Street walk-up flat Where dwelt The Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past. With long browned lightnin' fingers he takes a cultured toke And says, "''Hell, I can roll 'em faster, Jim, than any chick can smoke!'' So a note gets sent to San Rapheal, ''For the Championship of the World The Kid demands a smoke off!'' ''Well, bring him on!'' says Pearl, I'll grind his fingers off his hands, he'll roll until he drops!'' Says Calistog, ''I'll smoke that twist till she blows up and pops!'' So they rent out Yankee Stadium and the word is quickly spread ''Come one, come all, who walk or crawl, price - just two lids a head And from every town and hamlet, over land and sea they sp
A Little Bit About Me...
What's in your wallet?: My drivers License, pictures of my lovely daughters. no money though. What's under your bed: Nothing but two bed springs and a matress only. What's in your underwear drawer?: Underwear i rarely wear. What's in the trunk of your car?: Car stuff, jumper cables, snow shovel, bowling ball & pool que. Do you feel guilty about something right now?: Yes but i'm over it. Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about?: Maybe 8) What do you wait until no one is looking to do?: sing to a song and make a face. Do you drive?: Oh hell yeah. Do you do drugs?: Nope only did poppers before. Can you juggle knives?: I have before yes but wouldnt do it Last movie you watched?: the werewolf movie called "Cursed" with Christina Ricci.
The 'erb That's Superb
This is a story about hash and dope The wonderful weed that helps love and hope You skin up a spliff with rizles and care Then load it with sensi and fly if you dare You light it - Inhale - Wait for the hit to begin Then all of a sudden you're face has a grin :o) The floor starts to move and you're down on your knees The things a smoke can make you believe! You smoke with your friends then maybe you munch I often choose crisps and get off on the crunch It's better than drink coz it won't make you sick A much better high with a real friendly kick! It grows on the earth and reaches up high I hope I'm well stoned on the day that I die So next time you're tense and all full of stress Sit down - Skin up - YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!
Sick!!! Dont Know Why
=== 'cammy' spewed forth the following at '2007-01-21 09:13:03'.. > > === 'mark' spewed forth the following at '2007-01-20 21:41:19'.. > > > > OKLAHOMA GIRL FOUND MORE MISSING KIDS PLEASE REPOST > > To Repost click reply at the bottom of the bulletin then copy and paste the codes into your own bulletin. If you do not click reply before you copy the bulletin, the pictures won't show and the links wont work. So just go to the bottom and click reply and then copy & paste the codes into your own bulletin. > > 149,199,263 > > That is how many users have profiles on myspace. The number is always growing. > > > > It is mathematics, plain and simple: > > Someone out there has seen some of these faces, someone out there knows something about some of these cases. Someone out there either knows what happened, witnessed something, or were themselves involved. > > > > Pass this information around to your friends. Someone out there holds the key to solving some of these cases. What if
Keep The Mercedes
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a legalized joint? They say its a bad thing, I don't get their point. You made it to bless us, Please, may we anoint? Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a legalized joint? Oh Lord, Won't you help them get medical use? For people that need it its never abuse. Arthritis to glaucoma, a fountain of youth. Oh Lord, Won't you help them get medical use? Lord, Won't you help us free brave men like Will? And the Tom Browns and Michael's, You know we miss them still. They put them in prisons, their spirit to kill. Oh Lord, Won't you help us free brave men like Will? And Lord, When will they learn, the drug war's a lie. That all men are equal, under your eye. You judge us on character, not if we get high. Oh Lord, When will they see, The Drug War's a Lie.
Aunt Mary
Maryjane's the green stuff that makes it all okay It's something I look forward to smoking everyday My auntie and I, we have this really close bond We chill every late afternoon by the neighborhood pond My friends and I all gather alike To enjoy that blunt we get ready to light Spark that thing up from morning to night You know that with aunt Mary, everyone's hella tight. We pass it around and around until she's shortly done And then that's when all the fun's just begun Roll her right on up once again And bring all that THC in My eyes turn red when it fills my head And I'm so tired that I wanna just lay dead in my bed. My tummy keeps rumbling and I'm craving this stuff Focusing on anything other than food is so damn tough. But the high is the best and that's what I'm all about When pot's on my brain, I never pout. No money left but it's all good As long and Maryjane's up in my 'hood
Long Journey To Miami
MY TEAM IS FINALLY GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL. GO COLTS!!! By Jason Cole, Yahoo! Sports January 21, 2007 INDIANAPOLIS – Quarterback Peyton Manning couldn't watch. He sat on a water cooler as far from the field as you could get without being in the stands, alternately looking down and away. He also said a little prayer. Maybe it wasn't appropriate, but when you've done all you can to get to the NFL's promised land, you figure God can let you slide a little. Manning and the Indianapolis Colts, after years of playoff failure and heartbreak, finally got their redemption Sunday with a 38-34 victory over the New England Patriots in the AFC championship game. Indianapolis will face the Chicago Bears, who beat the New Orleans Saints in the NFC title game, in the I-65 Super Bowl in Miami on Feb. 4. Manning engineered an 80-yard drive to score the go-ahead touchdown with exactly one minute remaining. He then retired to the sideline as Patriots counterpart Tom Brady took the field. Thi
White & Nerdy- Werid Al
An Ode To A Smelly Pipe
It's one nasty, rank, reeking piece of clay Just one good wiff of that booger Is enough to ruin your day It needs a good cleaning, that's for sure It's chock full o' aged resin from stem to stern If you try to hit off it, you'll probably gag Your nostrils will flare, your eyelids will sag Oh, what do I do with this beloved pipe o' mine? How can I make it pleasant, and it's fragrance so fine? Maybe I should clean it?, Don't you all think? Cause to tell you the truth, it emits the worse kind of stink Yes, it's quite repulsive But it's all I got And I use it, I use it... I use the thing alot Alas, I have some pipe cleaners and alcohol! At last, I've found the cure Now I can clean my trusty tokin' bowl So it'll no longer smell like a sewer Why Smoke Weed? Stoned, Shattered, Wow I'm high, These are the questions, you ask me why? I think it does something, It opens my mind, It answers my questions and lets me unwind Pot solves nothing, I
His Name Is Love
The object of my affection, Love is his name. For the very definition, Makes up his frame. His succulent lips, Mysterious eyes, Chocolate complex, And prodigious size. Like I’m beauty itself, Is how he speaks. And causes the red flush, At the tops of my cheeks. The sound of his voice, Brightens my face. And my feelings for him, Will never erase. He possesses my heart, I hold his the same, He’s the essence of who I am, And love is his name.
"the Night Joe Gave Ken's Bong A Try"
"The Night Joe Gave Ken's Bong a Try" Sung to the tune of the 1970s pop song "The Night Chicago Died" It sat there alone and still Perched on the window sill It was Ken's crude homemade bong Which is the subject of the song When my dear old roomate Joe Grabbed that sucker to take a blow Then things when horribly wrong On his first hit off that bong ----------{CHORUS}---------- He just wanted to get high On the night Joe gave Ken's bong a try Brother, did that pipe pack quite a punch Brother, enough to make Joe blow his freakin' lunch Yes, it did -------------------------------- When Joe took a nice big toke He began to gag and choke The bong water gushed down his throat And man that was all she wrote Then Joe bolted up and ran Tearing a path straight for the can And it was said by one of the local punks Joe's in the bathroom blowing chunks ----------{CHORUS}---------- He just wanted to get high On the night Joe gave Ken's bong a try
Practice Makes Perfect
The way I roll a spliff without a mat, the way I wield my table tennis bat, the way I learn a poem in minutes flat are all a case of practice: that is that! But how I wonder - when I'm smashing, smashed, or in the act of rhymin' - what an awesome lover I'd have made, if yet I'd put the time in!
Here's a story I'd like to tell about getting stoned, blazed or high as hell. It begins on the first day of school, on my senior year when weed was a tool. My smoke bud and me, loved to blaze, passing the days on a smelly daze. and of course this day couldn't differ so we ditched school to smoke reefer. We drove up and down the streets, being rowdy and mean taking pipe hits, laughing and pointing at everybody through weed smoke and eyes that were bloody. I was high and ready for more, when my passenger began to snore!! I got mad and dropped him off home, and broke taking hits that blasted my dome. That day while high I made up my mind to never again smoke him up being kind... "The only smokers on my list are me, myself, and I!" I hissed. Yet getting high by myself was no fun, sometimes I felt like wanting to run. cuz without Slick Rick it wasn't the same (yeah that's his name, and yeah it is lame). I missed my bud and wanted to smoke, s
If The World Smoked Trees
If only the world smoked weed, we could all live in harmony. No more violence no more hate, all of these we can escape. The paranoia of getting caught smoking, will be replaced with laughter and joking. Different cultures will unite, all smoking from the same pipe. Oh, if this dream were true, life would be better for me and you!
Weird Al Yankovic- Fat
Mary Jane:
a gift from the heavens her only intentions were good but people abused her now she's misunderstood she was a tool for creativity now cast out with shame not meant to be illegal and not meant to slang in a world full of violence she helped as a cure THE MAN knocked her down and beat her and exploited what was pure she meant NO WRONG but HE put her to shame now shes down in the gutter twisted up in the game but she'll be back when we run things and there will be conflict just a kickback society enjoying a bong hit
Have You Seen Mary Jane
Have you met Mary Jane so fair With seeds of black and short green hair Aroma sweet and taste so pure Intoxicating, that’s for sure. She starts her life a small, hard seed And progresses into tasty weed. Just break her up and pack her tight And smoke her up into the night. Have you had Mary Jane so good A friend to all in any hood She'll make you laugh, she'll make you yak But she'll always have you coming back. She can do no harm, she can do no wrong She likes to be inside your bong She's outlawed but she doesn't care Its your responsibility to bear. She's known as pot, weed and hash As reefer, shit, and sold for cash She's great for parties and small groups alike Any other drug can take a hike. We've had our pills, shrooms and LSD Why can't you crackheads let us be? We prefer an 'Au Natural' approach And we gotta finish up this roach. So I've made up my mind, you see And Mary Jane's the one for me So if you see Mary Jane so fair W
Got a problem with me? Solve it.... Think iI'm trippin? Tie my shoes.... Can't stand me? Sit the fuck down.... Can't face me? Turn the fuck around.... If you don't understand this... Don't FUCKIN read it then BITCHES!!!!!!
This Man Is A Sick Fuck Excuse My Language Get Him Off Cherry And Myspace Repost
subject: drtydddy4u: This MAN IS A sick fuck excuse my language get him off cherry and myspace (repost) date: 2007-01-22 00:19:55 drtydddy4u: did your dad ever touch you Karen W: huh? drtydddy4u: who touched you before you were 11 Karen W: why are you asking me that drtydddy4u: just curiuos i like to hear drtydddy4u: i first fingerd my niece at 9 Karen W: well your a nick fucker then Karen W: sick if you have yahoo write this jerk and tell him off... !!!!! Thanks (repost of original by 'karen878806' on '2007-01-21 21:23:31') (repost of original by 'radicalred18' on '2007-01-21 21:28:23') (repost of original by 'El F*cko the Magnificent (I'm bored, entertain me.)' on '2007-01-21 22:01:11') (repost of original by 'radicalred18' on '2007-01-21 22:02:31') (repost of original by 'HELP BOMB CONTESTS FOR FRIENDS READ BLOG!! ***HUGS***' on '2007-01-21 22:03:14') (repost of original by 'csh042968' on '2007-01-21 22:08:24') (repost of original by 'Moon_77' on
I Love The Way
love the way you make me smile, and the way you make my tears disappear. i love the way you blow kisses, because we're not near. i love the way you're always right, and the way you never lie. i love the way you treat me, and the way you never make me cry. i love the way you laugh, and the way you say my name. i love the way you say i love you, and the way you never play games. i love the way no girl can ever take you, and the way you'll always be mine. but mostly i love the way i'll love you until the end of time.
Me And The Girlfriend
Hey everyone..I just uploaded a album of pics of me and the girlfriend..plz stop by and rate/comment thx rob
Dj Who Part 2!?!?
Another 1 But Diff Video Lol Invader Zim And Chamillionaire Ridin' Dirty
Dear P*nis
Short Fuse
A body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have." He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have." The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby." He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!"
Ridin Dirty
Nothing Interesting
well its now letting me on cherry which is nifty. i worked the midnight last night. was a somewhat frustrating night, but i survived and i've had a lot worse. i hung out with felicity a girl i work with before work. we went and got food and then got in a snow fight and sat around the house chatting and such for a while. i think i may get involved in some drama now due to her bf and such, but i s'pose that's ok. might make things more interesting. she's been having issues with her bf, in other words he is a heartless bastard (ignores her often at school, doesn't try to hang out with her ever, ect.) she said he was somewhat jealous she's been hanging out with other guys, but it's like he ignores her text messeges doesn't call her back and such, and he makes plans with people other then her all the time. seems retarded to me. im supposed to go to his house on tuesday for some meeting type thingy to learn about something to make money. i dont want to go now that he's probably jealous d
the rumble in the jungle I happened to pick up this morning's newspaper. Our local Dominion Post had an article about local residents "weighing in on Hilary for Pres" and Bessie Murray, 53, of Morgantown isn't sure that a woman should be president. A job like president is more suited for a man, she said. "She'll never make it," Murray said. "Women are a lot more kind-hearted then men. When it comes to something like president, a woman shouldn't be there." Looking at snowplow drivers as they toil to make roads safe, Murray said, "Do you think Clinton would go out there in the snow like that? There are a lot of things woman can't do" I'll just go ahead and let that sink in.
T*tties And Beer
Rate Me
theonetruedoobiebro@ CherryTAP
Day My Wife Met My G/f
One Of The Greatest Stories I Have Read
THE FIREMAN In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26-year-old mother stared Down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of Terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled With sadness, she also had a strong feeling of Determination Like any parent, she wanted her Son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now That was no longer possible.. The leukemia would see to that. But she still Wanted her son's dreams to come true. She took Her son's hand and asked, "Billy, did you ever Think about what you wanted to be once you grew Up ? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do With your life?" Mommy, "I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up." Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we can Make your wish come true." Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix , Arizona , where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son's final wish and asked if It mig
Chamillionaire--grown And Sexy
Top Four Adult Jokes Of 2006
I think one may have been top joke in 1916!!!! Top Four Adult Jokes of 2006 Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." Third Place : One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. "The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in
If you could read my mind There you would find The two of us intertwined The image of you I have memorized I remember enough to fantasize I close my eyes and there you are In my mind, so you're never far. I caress your lips, your face, your hair And hold you close, so I can feel you there. Our hands all over one another Roaming in places meant only for lovers. My heart, it yearns for you. My soul, it reaches out for you. In my every waking thought I know you too have not forgot The love we made The passion, the bliss I could never forget the way you kiss. And though the ocean separates us, I know again, I will feel your sweet touch. You were sent to me from up above To stay with me, forever in love. Within my heart I know it's true. My soul mate, I have found you!
Southernness Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... As in: "Going to town, be back directly." _____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" Is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. If the neighbor's trouble is
I Yelled At A Permanent Marker Because I'm Naked :p
Try it! Pick the month you were born: January--I kicked February--I loved March--I smoked April--I dry humped May--I choked on June--I murdered July--I did the Macarena with August--I had lunch with September--I danced with October--I sang to November--I yelled at December--I ran over Pick the day (number) you were born on: 1-------a birdbath 2-------a monster 3-------a phone 4-------a fork 5-------a Superhero 6-------a gangster 7-------my cell phone 8-------my dog 9-------my best friends' boyfriend 10-------my neighbor 11-------my science teacher 12-------a banana 13-------a fireman 14-------a stuffed animal 15-------a goat 16-------a pickle 17-------your mom 18-------a spoon 19-------myself 20-------a baseball bat 21-------a ninja 22-------Chuck Norris 23-------a noodle 24-------a squirrel 25-------a football player 26-------my sister 27-------my brother 28-------an ipod 29-------a permanent marker 30-------a llama 31-------A h
Wow These Girls Is Fighting Over Me Lmao Naw Jk
Sixteen Candles --the Whole Movie
Enjoy!! 10 parts..
When You're Down To Nothing, God Is Up To Something.
"When you're down to nothing, God is up to something." This is beautiful! Try not to cry. She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it." Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?" The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university." Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body t
Kiss Of Life
Like a soft soothing melody you wrap the words of my heart as they tumble and swirl endlessly in cascades of pleasure. They rush like a river to flood you in captivated enchantment, filling you with every drop of love and sincere devotion. Songs of love echo from my soul and sparkle from my eyes, drifting across the mind in haunting and intoxicating magic. Your notes of love cling to my heart in continuous rhapsody, creeping across the boundaries to deliver the kiss of life.
The Breakfast Club In 60 Seconds
Captured ( Submissive Dream )
Minds met and faces smiled Imagination running wild Eager heart did take control Fascination's mind beguiled Stealthy web is wound around, Familiar vessel ran aground Concealed purpose was not seen Then too late a heart is bound Unseen ties, but bondage still Applied with most superior skill Holding firm I cannot go Alas I stay by my own will
Tough Loss! Classy Win!
Congrats to the Colts. They won that game last night and did so by playing well. Both the Pats and the Colts played a great game last night and Indy came out on top. I will hand it to them, they played well. That was pretty much the Superbowl right there because whoever won last nights game is going to roll over the bears. The Patriots and their fans won't be cryin' like Ladanian Tomilson that's for sure! But we do have 3 Superbowl trophies to make us feel better! Peyton may do it this year but I have no preference if the colts or the bears win now. I just care if my numbers come up on the Superbowl squares at work! lol Come on bitches make me some money!
Fuck Or Pass
There is at least one person on your list that wants to fuck the hell out of you. So lets play the fuck or Pass! game. The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a "message" saying "yep, I'd Fuck you." SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies. There is at least one person on your list that wants to do u so!!! repost this as "Fuck or Pass" Don't be a bitch and not re-post it
Just One Touch
Just one touch of the bow sent shivers across the strings of her violin as she began to scream her melody of passion. Soft and gentle it stroked until she was giving off notes an octave above euphoria. Then suddenly the cadence of the bow escalated and begin to see saw it's way deep into the crevice of her inner lining. The hair of the bow began to smoke as it melted the hot resin over her G string.
My World My Life My Love
i live my life a quarter a mile at a time for first 60 sec im free i love meeting new people but i got this amazin girl cristina and shes my world i am jus on here to chat and make friends
Tangled In Love
relax yourself ease back into my arms allow me to savor your tender flesh pressing intimately into mine as i wrap you in playful purple a not so innocent present to celebrate our tangled love placing tender lips upon the nape of your anxious neck whispering passionately into your ears guiding us on our journey of burning embrace you feel the strength in my hands as i glide them masterfully lower your wet mouth smiles blissful your impatient breasts rise hurriedly to my lips i ravish them hungrily walk my hand across your begging stomach feel you tremble as i near the place that controls your greatest need your awakening thighs open for me so i can lavishly caress your sultry flesh understanding fingertips sense the urgency within burning with desires flame to please now completely relaxed cradled in my firm embrace we take this exquisite journey together releasing a thriving passion that begs to escape unyielding you allow my entrance feel my surge inside
You Must Be Getting Older...
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50 If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to. 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere. 4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17.
Love You Like That
Fell into your deep pools of brown. Waves in motion danced around. A touch that melted me instantly. Your love I hold through eternity. ~~~ In my arms you are ever secure. Brown eyes effect my capture. Perfume scents the gentle breeze. We meld to one with so much ease. ~~~ In cloudless skies we soared aloft. Our wings carry us up into heaven. There we land on white billows soft. Amid these mists we kiss so often. ~~~ So come with me upon this path. And ever more we two shall laugh. A moment of passion lead to more. As we lay upon this pristine shore.
Lovers Dance Of Passion
Dancin' about their secret room Passions ritual inflames within Full lovers luscious blue moon Erotic shadows share their dance Their eternal passion begs more.
Don't Fart In Bed ( So Hilarious I Cried Laughing So Hard)
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because It was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Thanksgiving she was in the kitchen making turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound a
Top That
Lovers Rhapsody
It was a warm sensuous rain, the kind you walk with your lover; playing its pitter patter song on the window payne; I hear you moan. My inquisitive eyes peek at you napping in a dreamy sleep. A translucent pink, soft chiffon shroud covers your submissive nakedness. A glowing silhouette of curves entice, moist lips beg for a kiss; plump breasts, rippen strawberry nipples. Gazed in mounting sensuous amazement. Compelled to follow the contour of your slender arm. Up from my chair, quietly and cautionously, to get a closer watch of your nap time dream. Standing next to you, silently, your complete nakedness is now visible; your red polished fingernails rest upon your golden garden, beads of sweet nectar glitter upon it flowers. Your smile widens, lips silently beg for a lovers kiss; your breast begs for a passions touch; your erotic sleep invites me to join in. I must resist the temptation. To awaken you would darken this fantasy; Yet my own body feel
Lovers Moon
Soft kisses in the night lost in passion Under the lovers moon A gentle touch felt in rapture Under the lovers moon ~ A touch so deep felt inside Under the lovers moon Her quickened breath escapes a sigh Under the lovers moon ~ Bodies entwined as passion builds Under the lovers moon The great release They both feel Under the lovers moon ~ They hold each other close in the still night air Under the lovers moon They profess their love then and there Under the lovers moon ~ Time stands still in their lovers arms Under the lovers moon A feeling inside so soft and warm Under the lovers moon ~ They fall asleep A smile in their soul Under their lovers moon Clinging together two people made whole Under the lovers moon ~
Close Your Eyes
I look into your eyes so lovingly. I want you to take a ride with me. As time goes by it stops to stand still Like a piece of fine art molded at will. The sun sits on the oceans rim, As we wait for passion to begin again. As a ship in the ocean We feel beautiful motion.. two bodies as one. Holding hands as lovers do Feeling the warmth in your touch Of each other we love so much. As we look into each others eyes The feelings are mutual, there is no disguise. The feelings of passion are very strong In the love we feel there can be no wrong. Open your eyes and you will see Everything that love offers in me. Hold me close... hold me tight, Let me take you to paradise..... All through the night. Close your eyes and feel my touch... Close your eyes and know how much My love for you will always be. My heart, my soul is open to thee.
Redneck Man's Pick Up Lines!
1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. and.... the best for last! 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up
Touch Me
Touch me, Want me Make me see This is the place My heart dreams to be Bodies awaken From deep inside As the fire now burns In passionate eyes When you're by the love of you sight Longing wishing For the night To stretch Into billions of flights So time will never end As the flesh creates Becoming one The meaning of life will open its doors Letting both see new worlds to explore As we feel our minds meet inside Journeys of the past Will slide in Cupping us in natures delight Ending tearful broken nights Touch me, Want me Make me believe This is not a story book dream
Lick It Up Baby Lick It Up!
Why Sex Is Better Than School
MILF Hunting Should Be In the Olympics Top 10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School 10. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school,except for virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet. 9. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc... School just sucks. 8. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel like smoking something a whole hell of a lot stronger. 7. You only get disciplined during sex if you want to. 6. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives people to drink. 5. Sex relieves stress. School is the cause of stress. 4. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex. 3. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something. 2. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition. And the Number 1 reason why sex is better than school is........ 1. At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex.At school yo
Why Condoms Come In Boxes Of 3,6 & 12
A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of -factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.....Men use them to have safe sex. "Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?" The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday." "Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the Dad answers, "Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday. "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up the 12 pack. With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March...
Hey Heveryone
well i have some news i just found out that i have cancer and i am not happy about it. it is i early stages but i am scare and i don't know what to do now. I found about the cancer on friday night and i just didn't say anything til now. i had to deal with it an i can't. i have my options but i don't know what to do. I know i a a tough person and i can get throught it but i have my kids that i have not even told yet. They are little and i know they understand stuff but i just know how to tell them about it. well going for abit but i will be on and off all day. So to all my friends on here thank u for listening. I am so out there i have to do something so i am going to starting cleaning bye guys. love hotchick 3
Well Hung Earthling
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!" The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so da
Tra La La
20 Minutes Is All He Needs
Click Here For Some of the Hottest Brazilian Ass Ever!!! A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot for "parking." He saw a couple in a car with the interior light on. He got closer to the car and saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine, and a young woman on the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this situation, the cop walked to the car and knocked on the window. The young man lowered his window... "Yes, officer?" "What are you doing?" "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine." Pointing toward the young woman, the cop asked, "And her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugged. "I believe she's knitting a pullover." The cop was totally confused. A young couple alone in a car at night...And nothing obscene is happening! "What's your age, young man?" "I'm 22, sir." "And her, what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and said, "She'll be 18 in 20 minutes."
You Must Be Getting Old :(
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up." 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You take naps. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead
Put Down The Duckie
My Hubby!
Ok so my husband is locked up and has been for almost 2 years! well he is in a pre release center now and works on outside detail...well he made statewide trustee...well he works at the state patrol office in a particular city and he wants me to sneak up there and come give him some booty..he said he wouldnt have me come up there if he thought we would get caught...he says that on mondays there is NOONE there but him and the other guy that works with him...which his girl comes and sees him every week. I SOOO want to go up there to see him and get me some since it has been 2 years since i have had any but there is a part of me that just doesnt want to go......i have let him down soooo many times already and i was suppose to go there and be there at 8:30am this morning but i didnt go and then he calls me like 20 minutes ago and asked why i wasnt there already and tells me that he will be there all day today and for me to please come up there....I am sooooo confused!! It is like an hour a
Tire Vs. Condoms
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? A: One is a good year and the other is a great year.
This Is Who I Have Sex With....
A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His girlfriend replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot." The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
Slim Goodbody
Things You Dont Want To Do To Your G/f
1. The Teabagging - The all time classic maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick`s forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, while you`re uttering the timeless phrase- "Who`s Your daddy?" 2. The Houdini - Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it. 3. The Angry Dragon - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl`s mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she`ll look like an angry dragon. 4. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch - The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl`s throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great w
The Top 4
Top Four Adult Jokes Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Third Place: One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle
Only The Truth, Lol
You have a sexual IQ of 156 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at
The Toe Curl
This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says. "What makes you say that?" asks the woman. "Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains. "Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."
Religion :)
Joke of the Day! One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said
The Tiger In Bed
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods." "Tiger Woods, the golfer?" "Yeah." "Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him." The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the ph
Hanker For A Hunka Cheese
Success! I have found the cure The demons that haunt my dreams You fuckers who keep me up You scream and run inside my head You tell me to cut You tell me to bleed you tell me to die But I found the antidote I found a way to shut you up no longer will you rule my head! Amazing how numb you become on my cure You wanna know what it is? Oh it's so simple So Divine! So painfully obviouse Shot gun to the head.
Mr T
The Hippie And The Nun
A hippie got on a bus and sat beside a hot nun. "Can I have sex with you?" said the hippie. "No, I save myself for god." She was quiet until she got off. The bus driver said, "I know how you could have sex with her." "How?" "Well, she goes to the cemetery every tuesday night, so you can hide and wear a white robe and put glow paint all over your body and say you are God." "Then?" "Then you force her to have sex with you." "Ok." So on Tuesday the hippie went to the cemetery and saw the nun. He poppped out and said he was God and said she had to have sex with him. The nun said, "How about up the ass so that I remain a virgin." He said ok and after the sex he ripped off his robe and said "HA hahahahaha!! I'm the hippie!" The nun ripped off it's robe and said "Hahahaha I'm the bus driver!"
Vivid Dream
holy shit Current mood: sad I've had vivid dreams in my day..but this one's a killer. It was right here in B'ville, but wasn't really, like a parallel dimension. I came home from where i was to find my dad, healthier, able to talk. and my late gf, just alive and well. there were signs of welcome home and such. Staci held open her arms and dear, i missed you so much and gave me a kiss. But i looked around my place..the tv and pc were in the same spot but pictures were different, She told me "lets take a walk" . i saw friends on the street i've haven't seen since their untimely demise...then it hit me..."oh shit, I died" She took me to a viewing room and i saw my funeral on a monitor...seeing people cry over me was probably the most heartwrenching thing i've seen. The "mayor" said i died saving the lives of my mom and friends at the mall. i woke up at 430 am wide awake..after i fell asleep in her arms in the dream..i thought i died for a was so surreal
The Hippie And The Nun
A hippie got on a bus and sat beside a hot nun. "Can I have sex with you?" said the hippie. "No, I save myself for god." She was quiet until she got off. The bus driver said, "I know how you could have sex with her." "How?" "Well, she goes to the cemetery every tuesday night, so you can hide and wear a white robe and put glow paint all over your body and say you are God." "Then?" "Then you force her to have sex with you." "Ok." So on Tuesday the hippie went to the cemetery and saw the nun. He poppped out and said he was God and said she had to have sex with him. The nun said, "How about up the ass so that I remain a virgin." He said ok and after the sex he ripped off his robe and said "HA hahahahaha!! I'm the hippie!" The nun ripped off it's robe and said "Hahahaha I'm the bus driver!"
The Dukes
The Five Kinds Of Sex
1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face. 2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen. 3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. 4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!" 5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
Look Ma..a Fraggle!
The Best Las Vegas Hooker
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking Vegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500." "I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the
My Ex
I have been fond of you I have been in love with you I have cried for you I have bleed for you You have done nothing for me You have sat there staring at me You have not said you loved me You have not cared for me So Fuck you
2 Ways To Look At Things
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" :D
Talking Italian
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: ''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.'' ''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.'' ''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
Don't Cross The Street Alone
From Sesame Street... Geez
Squeaky Clean
One night a man rolls over in bed and gives his wife a big grin. She says, ''Not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean and fresh.'' The man feeling rejected rolls over and tries to go to sleep. In a few minutes he rolls back over and asks his wife, ''Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?''
That Which.
... It happens today. Not a new resolution, a purge. Ash flying in the wind, and a new brand on my soul lit from the same hearth. Cast it down wind, so it doesn't blow back in your face. The time to hurt is over. The time for torn ligaments and ripped chord, strung sinew and worn heartstrings is over. Time to let the healing start. Time to let the stone soul cleanse. Time to renew and reconquer. For every loss brings a lesson. Every failure brings an oppurtunity- to adapt or to drown. The stone heart is ready. The crystal mind is next.
Brian My Heart
Brian my Heart I wished on a star just the other day to be sent a Prince to take me away I wished for someone caring and a love that is true all of a sudden in walked you You make me happy, make me feel so real and all you ask is if my heart you can steel Never before have I cared so much for someone unseen or even touched My heart is terrified and filled with fear but I long for the day that you are near To hold you close, is not much to ask it's getting you here that is a task I thought love like this was merely a dream but its happening so it would seem I think to myself how could this be of all the people in this world he loves me Tonight I saw a star and wished once more I'll know it came true when you walk through my door Nicole M DiMauro Copyright ©2007 Nicole M DiMauro
Smurf And Turf
Why do the smurfs luagh when they frolic through the forest? Because the grass tickles thier balls!
This Is Me!!! :d
Purple Smurfs
Volume is low on this so crank it
Slippery Doorknob
A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, she answered, ''Yes, we use it when we have sexual intercourse.'' The interviewer was amazed. He said, ''I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge or some other purpose. But I know that most people really use it for sexual intercourse, they just don't like to say so. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?'' ''We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.''
Tattoo Expo
There is one this Friday and Saturday but the thing is...I have no one to take me! I don't have a license, much less a car so going by myself is out of the question. I have always wanted to go to a cinvention cause they look like so much fun. Liesl
She Needs A Special Man
A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read: RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS: 1. WON'T BEAT ME UP 2. WON'T RUN AWAY 3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications. Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?" "Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away." The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?" To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
The Reality Of Glitter
I could smell Your scent And feel Your skin You were with me We were us Again Candles burned The music played In your heart Was where I Laid The starfish shined Beneath gentle waves My peaceful love Is then alarmed Awakened, and alone Exhausted from Our dream Where we finally Met I miss you again With no regrets
Sexual Math
What kind of math don't they teach in school? How to add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!
Time Is Meaningless
Time is nothing Every person is meaningless We all stand still for out briefest moments Just to add our names to history books But what's the point if history repeats? Congrats your the 4th Ceaser You invaded Poland? Oh your just like Napoleon The first men who stood still are the only ones we remember The first of everything is always remembered I can't Kill myself Someone has done that already Can't marry and have kids People did that; are still doing that Nothing is left No room for my name So why bother? I'm just waiting on my clock to run out of time Because time is meaningless to me.
Pimp Ur Dad Up
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." The boy says, "That won't work." His mom says, "Why?" The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"
Bathroom Floor
BATHROOM-PAINTED FLOOR *IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY....* *YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING......* *(not that you would...)* *AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM.... * *You open the door.... ** NOW, REMEMBER,* *THE FLOOR IS JUST* *! A PAINTED FLOOR!** KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....* *DOESN'T IT?* This would mess your mind up! _________________________________________________
100 Bucks For A Lay
The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said "well , he was a big muscular and handsome sailor". "Well , what did he want to do?" They all asked. She said " I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn`t have that much". So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn`t have that much either". "Finally I said, well how much do you have"? The sailor said that he only had $25. The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand". He agreed and after getting the finance straight, she said "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand" "Oh my god" they all exclaimed, it must have been huge,then what did you do?" I loaned him $75!" she said.
We Did It All For The Cookie
Making Cupcakes
There was this little girl and her mother walking thru the zoo. And she looked at two monkeys and said "Mommy, what are the monkeys doing?" the mother does not know what to say and tells her, "Oh, they are making cupcakes." Further on in the park she sees two teenagers under a tree and asks, "Mommy, what are those kids doing?" the mother replies, "Oh, they are making cupcakes." They then went home and ate supper and went to bed. The next morning at the breakfast table the little girl asks her Mom, "Mommy, was that you and dad making cupcakes on the couch last night?" the mommy says, "Yes, why?" and the little girl says, "Well I licked the frosting off the couch."
Dirty Mind
Your Mind is NC-17 Rated You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you! Do You Have a Dirty Mind?
Last Day On Job Gift
Click Here For Some of the Hottest Brazilian Ass Ever!!! It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied s
Three Little Pigs
Keep It Under The Kilt
In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before, his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!" So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it." So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfrien
Tarzan And Jane
I Want To Stick My Penis In A Pickle Slicer
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he`d be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What`s wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn`t." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."
Older People Games
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER 1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
Lmao I Dont Have To Do Much!!!
Starry Eyed Surprise
What Happened The Year I Was Born.
In 1950 (the year you were born) Harry Truman is president of the US Masked bandits steal $2.8 million from Brink's in Boston 35 US military advisers are sent to South Vietnam to aid the anti-Communist government US Senator Joe McCarthy begins his crusade against suspected Communists in the US government North Korea invades South Korea President Harry S. Truman announces a program to develop the hydrogen bomb In South Africa, the Group Areas Act is passed formally segregating races Peter Gabriel, Jay Leno, Bill Murray, and Stevie Wonder are born New York Yankees win the World Series Cleveland Browns win the NFL championship Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup I, Robot by Isaac Asimov is published What Happened the Year You Were Born?
I Judge A Man By How He Unlocks The Door
One night this guy and his girlfriend are about to go into his apartment. Before he can open his door his girlfriends says, "Wait a minute. I think I can tell how a man makes love by the way he unlocks his door." "Give me some examples", the guy replies. "Well, if a guy shoves his key into the lock, and open the door hard, then that means he's a rough lover and that isn't for me. If a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole, that means he's inexperienced and that isn't for me either." Then she says, coyly, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?" "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."
Cuz I Had A Bad Day
I got not so good news from my doc. and went off yesterday on someone I love to death..... Just when things seem to be looking up they fall apart just as quick.. Doesn't that saying "When it rains it pours" ring true. So yeah, my love loses loved ones, I bug on him, flip out on a few friends cuz now i'm even more upset than I was in the 1st place cuz I hurt someone I care about, throw a few things around the place, step on my new glasses(ACCIDENTLY), fall down a flight of stairs taking out the trash, cut myself shaving, and have to call into work cuz I can hardly move and spend the rest of the night trying to figure out an impossible life Insert "BANG HEAD HERE" right there>>>>>>>>>>
Signs Of Menopause:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. 3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
So Fuking True
Thoughtful Thoughts...
Thoughts for the weekend Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over? Just remember ,if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. But Most Of All, Remember ! A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
Home For Lunch
A woman in a northeast Pennsylvania art gallery is staring at an exquisite painting entitled Home for Lunch. It depicts three very naked black men sitting on a park bench with their penises in plain view. But while all the men are black, the one in the middle has a pink penis. "Excuse me," the woman says to the exhibit's curator. "I am curious about this painting of three African-Americans. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?" "I`m afraid you`ve misinterpreted the painting," says the curator. "These men are not African-American; they`re coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went`home for lunch.` "
Growing Wild On A Beach
Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the dand except for the one part sticking out. Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, "There really is no justice in this world." The other little old lady says, "What do you mean?" The first little old lady says, "Look at that." "When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it." "When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it." "When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it." "When I was 40 years old, I asked for it." "When I was 50 years old, I paid for it." "When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it." "When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it." "And now that I'm 80, the damne
Ponderisms I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to find some thing lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing t
Get On The Bus~!!
A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing his cousin in the closet. ''What the hell are you doing?!'' the man asks. ''I'm riding a bus,'' his cousin replies. ''That's a stupid thing to say!'' ''That's a stupid thing to ask!''
This Is Messed Up
now i guess its over the damage has been done in the battles of the heart its hard to know who's won my heart is slowly breaking i feel so empty inside i walk away the loser all my feelings i will hide you always said that you would love me no matter what it turned out to be one big lie how could i be so stupid now i sit and cry overnight card games,fishing,and coming home late too many times i've felt alone something isnt right you wont touch me and you shower twice a day why do you feel so dirty what are you trying to wash away now im left here and you are gone you took nothing but the blame with no more lies or secrets now this time i will set you free
A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row. "I saw an airshow. And it was very fascinating." "Good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" She then calls on a girl sitting off to the left. "I saw some monkeys. They were very fascinating." "Good, but I wanted you to use the world 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" Billy's hand shoots up into the air and she calls on him. "Teacher, teacher! I got one!" "Go ahead, Billy." "My sister's shirt has ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate."
English Lovers
An elderly Frenchman was slowly walking down a countryside lane, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple, naked, making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself, 'Ah ze young love, ze springtime, ze air, ze flowers. C'est magnifique!' and continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp and said, 'Mais... Sacre bleu!! Ze woman - she is dead!' and he hurried along as fast as he could to the town to tell Albert, the police chief. He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted, 'Albert... Albert zere is zis man zis woman .. . naked in Farmer Gaston's field making love.' The police chief smiled and said; 'Come, come, Henri, you are not so old to not remember ze young love, ze springtime, ze air, ze flowers. Ah, L'amour! Zis is okay.' 'Mais non! You do not understand - ze woman she is dead!' Hearing this Albert leapt from his seat and rushed out of the station and, th
Drastic Diet
A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. ''Guaranteed my ass,'' he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day/ 10 pound weight loss program. The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of NIKE running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, ''If you can catch me you can have me!'' Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, ''I like the way this company does business.'' The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing hap
Did You Call For Me?
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blond walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The
I Can"t Help Myself!!!
Change Your Hair Style
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half, but accidentally sends her the bottom half of the picture. He is really worried when he realizes that he has sent the wrong half. But then he remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says: "Thank you for the picture. You should change your hair makes your nose look too short."
Chalk Board Culprit
One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson. Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to find it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
Eat It
Bozo's Big Beautiful Ass
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey. "Anywhere I go, she goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was. ''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks. ''One thousand dollars for the food.'' ''But I haven't touched the food." ''It was right there, so yo
Word Up!
Dah pretty ladies around the world Got a weird thing to show you, So tell all the boys and girls. Tell your brother, your sister And mama too, cause they’re About to go down And you’ll know just what to do. Wave your hands in the air Like you don’t care, glide by The People as they start to look and stare. Do you dance, do your dance quick Mama, come on baby, tell me what’s The Word, ah – word up, Everybody say when you hear the call You got to get it underway, Word up, it’s the code word, No matter where you say it, You’ll know that you’ll be heard. Now all you sucker. D.J.’s Who think you’re fly There’s got to be a reason And we know the reason why. And act real cool But you got to realise That you’re acting like fools. If there’s music we can use it We need to dance. We don’t have that time For psychological romance No romance No romance No romance for me mama Come on baby tell me what’s the word. Ah – word up, Everybody say when you hear the ca
Birds And Bees
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.
B-day Sex
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."Adam decided to to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
Annoying Boy On Bus
Posted on April 11th, 2005 Carmen Will Do Anything To Get Her Citizenship A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
A Sweet Ass Story
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!” Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.” I said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit an
Don't You Want Me?
One of my all time favorite songs!
Smoking In The Rain
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?" The other old lady said, "It's a condom." "A condom? Where do you get those?" The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?" The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."
If You Guess Right,free Sex
Two Kentuckians drove to a gas station in Indiana for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest. "If you win, you`re entitled to free sex," said the attendant. "How do we enter ?" asked the Kentuckian. "Well, I`m thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex." "O.K. I guess 7, " said one Kentuckian. "Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. The next week, the two Kentuckians returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the other Kentuckian asked the attendant if the contest was still going on. "Sure," replied the attendant. "I`m thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex." "2" said the Kentuckian. "Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again." As they walked back to the c
Today's Feelings
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like everything that I want or have ever wanted is not going to happen for me. I feel like my fiance don't really want to be with me even tho he says he does. I just don't know what to do or think anymore. I love him more than anything and I really want this but what do I do? I don't know anymore.
Song For 01-22-07
WAKE UPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! It's Monday!!!!! System of a Down's Chop Suey off of their Toxicity Album made it for todays Song of the day! Quite simply a song that will WAKE YOU UP! lol ( oh yeah and back to some metal!! lol)
This dood creeped me
How Addicted Are You To The Internet?
You Are 49% Addicted to the Internet You're somewhat addicted to the internet - but who isn't? You can keep it under check, and you're by no means a hermit. Are You Addicted to the Internet?
Girl Interupted Quiz
Which Girl Interrupted character are you?Which Girl Interrupted character are you?Take the quiz and see!Click Here to Take This QuizBrought to you by quizzes and personality tests.
Take This Quiz
[url=]Which Girl Interrupted character are you?[/url] My Results: [url=][img][/img][/url] Which Girl Interrupted character are you? Take the quiz and see!
I Haven't Been Around
Because my computer is locked up by Apple because whatever's wrong with it isn't covered by the insurance crap I got, and I don't have the money. Because my cell phone broke in half. And because I spun my car out in a snowstorm trying to get up to Potsdam for school going 20 effin' mph. I didn't think it was possible. New tires too. Wrecked the back of my car pretty bad, but I'm okay. So, I should be around a little more often, but I'm not promising anything. Don't forget about me!
Asking Too Much?
Just once in a relationship I would like to know that the guy, who is supposed to be my guy is there for me when/ if I need him. I'd like to feel like something a little more than a toy that is on his shelf that he can take down and play with and then put back. The funny thing is...that I usually let it happen for longer than it should because I so want this time to be different or I think I can make it right or change it. I don't think that I'm a bad person...and I want to be loved. I mean I know I'm loved but you know what I mean. The kind of love that my parents have. The kind of love that lets me be ME and not have to change for someone. I'm ready for that kind of love. I'm sick of the kind where I'm the one giving everything and getting nothing. I'm tired of feeling like I did something wrong or that i have to compete to get his attention. Maybe it's time for me to realize that I'm not meant for a relationship. Maybe..just maybe I"m meant to be single. A fact that sucks but it may
What Slanguage Do You Speak?
Your Slanguage Profile New England Slang: 100% Aussie Slang: 50% Southern Slang: 50% British Slang: 25% Prison Slang: 25% Canadian Slang: 0% What Slanguage Do You Speak?
Old Person Football
Hey its Monday... Whats Monday with out a little potty humor :P I hope you all enjoy! An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score" After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm head 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, >switch sides."
The Untouchable Gurl
So im like incredibly lost...why cant i get a fuckin date! All sorts of ppl tell me im cute n i gotta great personality. Am i too cute to date or am i that ugly. Some of my friends say that im such a great person n its intimdating to men but im just starting to think they are scared of me lol. I dont know im just tired of being single:(. Lol i guess ill get over it eh:P
To My Mistress The Bridge; I Don't Feel Well....
OMG I want to effin die. I've been getting sick since i think it was mid last week but i never got actually hit with it. Then Saturday morning I wake up to the worst cold ever in life. I spent most of yesterday sleeping and the few moments I did spend awake, I was being made fun of. Well because when I get sick I sound like a man, but I think the worst was Luvy. She was playing Tetris with Mami and I said something to Ma, and Luvy looks at me and says, "Not to be offensive but you sound like a man." Yeah; love you too kid.
Wiccan Ex-barista Sues Starbucks Over Religion
A former Starbucks barista in Hillsboro has sued the coffee giant, saying it discriminated against her based on her Wiccan religion. In a complaint filed Jan. 8 in U.S. District Court in Portland, Alicia Hedum said a manager at Starbucks’ Hillsboro Landing cafe asked her to remove her Wiccan cross several times, even though other employees, including the manager, wore Christian crosses. Hedum accused Starbucks of retaliating by refusing to promote or transfer her, reducing her hours and scrutinizing her “minor tardiness.” A Starbucks spokesman said she was unaware of the lawsuit. Wicca, a nature-based religion often described as a form of witchcraft, has been the subject of other employment discrimination cases. A Wiccan member of the Industrial Workers of the World union complained last year to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that a New York City Starbucks discriminated against her based on religion. Hedum worked for Starbucks in Cornelius and Hillsboro
Hi Everyone
I decided I needed a blog, seems everyone else has one. I have no idea what to write though, lol. I am getting ready to go take care of my little great nephew, he is just so cute! I just comment bombed a contest for the firefighters till I triggered the anti spam thing, which sucks, cause now I can't get back in, without making that go off, so I will try again later. I hope everyone is having a great day. And this site just rocks!
Rock On
~showin Some Love~
What Mixed Drink Are You
You Are a Martini There's no other way to say it: you're a total lush. You hold your liquor well, and you hold a lot of it! What Mixed Drink Are You?
Cherry Tap
I know u wanna sing it...its ok...really
The Positive Side Of Life
THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but hey all exist very nicely in the same box.
What Mixed Drink Are U ?
You Are an Appletini Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy. But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal. What Mixed Drink Are You?
Quote Of The Day.....part 2
New quote of the day.....please enjoy hehehe "I remember when i had a wad in my mouth, and i was sucking on it, and i accidentally swallowed it, and it made me so nausiated that i had to throw up" Oh this is probably my favorite quote....too damn funny, and it's in regards to someone putting some chewing tobbacco in their mouth and getting sick lmfao. Rock on party people, Derek
Monday Fun
Want to have some fun; try this: The classic version is best! Pete
Your Slanguage Profile Aussie Slang: 25% British Slang: 25% Canadian Slang: 25% Prison Slang: 25% Southern Slang: 25% New England Slang: 0% What Slanguage Do You Speak?
New Job...
Well today is the day that i start my new job. Yesssssssssssss i'm very fucking excited. I'm just excited that i can get out of this house that i'm living in for a while, cause it feels like i'm becoming a fucking hermit. I do enjoy being on the computer, but I do NOT want the computer to run my entire fucking life!!!!! I need to get out there and start making some fucking money, so I can enjoy life, enjoy friends, and get rid of all the stress that's in my life. I know I got the most boring blogs in the life of Cherrytap lmfao. I'm just excited that i can write to all my peeps on cherrytap, to announce that I got me a job, and i'm officially.... NOT A BUM ANYMORE hehehehe "yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" does his fist pump in the air. Kisses and hugss to all my friends Derek (aka the evil ONE)
Fergie was such a cute kid
Your Slang Profile
Your Slanguage Profile New England Slang: 75% Aussie Slang: 25% British Slang: 25% Canadian Slang: 25% Prison Slang: 25% Southern Slang: 25% What Slanguage Do You Speak?
Leave A Soldier Alil Love???
Hey All I gotta keep this short as duty is starting to get busy as my day starts rolling but i thought i'd ask a small favor of you guys. I always leave everyone lots of love on their profiles and pics nice and naughty, so if it isnt too much to ask could maybe you guys return the favor? it would mean the world to me if you could. And if you enjoy reading check out my blogs! thanks again all take care and hope to talk to you all real soon! Dominic
What Musician Am I Most Like?
You scored as 50 Cent. Your 50 cent homie! You're as hardcore as it gets. Your real and tough. You don't take any crap from anyone. You can get laid any time you feel like it. Plus, you're super human!50 Cent60%Fall Out Boy40%Jesse McCartney20%Dierks Bentley0%What Musician are you most like? (pics)created with
Goth Chic Contest
in my first contest here ! ANGEL OF DEATH is having a sexy goth chic contest guess who is there ? no! not her! me ! go to his profile find my pic and comment most comments wins! and if you dont mind click to mine and fan me i'll fan back or leave a gift ....
Words From Inside Out
as I lay here I often wonder why life throws obstacles in our path that at times seem so unclimbable you often wonder why me, well i guess why me, because only the hardest pathways to climb are given to the strongest people with hearts that dont falter and faith that seem endless and unbreakable. We all make decisions that at the time seem so darn hard but so easy. I made the decision to leave my country and my children. My country i can live without because home is where the heart is, but my children, well they are ones that I cant. Every day I struggle with the agony of not being able to see their lil faces smiling, or hear their giggling at something so stupid you wonder how they can laugh, I even miss there bickering between themselves. Until you dont have what you cheerish the most you never truely appreciate what you have. I sometimes wonder how my husband puts up with me, at times even though I am so happy with life, I am also so sad. Not sad at the life I have choosen or how
Documented Proof That U.s. Gi's Torture Iraqi Children
Reposted From Nyne's Blog. PRESS RELEASE DIRECTLY TO CBS, NBC, & ABC NETWORKS This is documented proof that our G.I.'s torture the Iraqi children.... * * * Shocking Pictures * * * Armed American Troops Force Iraqi's to See-Saw Until They Talk! Iraqi Child Bites GI In Self Defense After Obvious Torture GI Falls Asleep On Duty While Using Iraqi Child As Body Armor GI Overheard to say .. "Talk or I'll tickle you till you pee!" Soldier Attempts to Eat Iraqi Child Clear Evidence of Forced Labor by Troops Iraqi's Grateful That American Forces Did Not Open Fire During Soccer Game Soldier Caught At "Tickle-Torture" To Extract Intelligence GI Forces Iraqi Child To Hang By Finger If You Liked This Others Will Too! Please Repost!
Court Date
Today is my court date with my ex due to contempt. I am really nervous (I didn't do anything wrong). I don't know how everyone feels about this sort of stuff, but I could really use some prayers right now. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks. I will let you know tomorrow how it went as i have to work today and tonight.
Angels Lullaby
It had been an impossibly hard night. I even began to have doubts about me making it out alive. Oddly enough, I carried on. My comrades were also fatigued and sickly. We spent 3 months in the jungles. We were fighting an uphill battle. Starvation, insect and animal bites, natural obstacles...Everything seemed to not want us here. It was as if, the jungle didn't want us there. And we didn't want to be there, either. I watched my subordinates through the night, as I suffered from severe insomnia. I would watch the sky. It was still very hot here. The sky was hazy from the heat and moisture in the air. We knew why we were here, but we didn't know what was waiting for us. The foliage was very thick. We had to fashion ourselves machetes to be able to continue moving through the thick brush that seemed to never end. The most fearful thought I had was the fact that would all would die here. I tried to appear to be strong for the men, but, even they began to take note of
You scored as Shiela S-e-x-y. Shiela S-e-x-y58%Suzanne Detton58%Emily Coss58%Kelly Dog25%Whats Your P-o-r-n Star name?created with
Wow!!!! You Guys Are Showin Me Lots Of Love In This Contest!!!
Bringing The Good Guys Back!
I am both sadden and ESTATIC to announce the death of "wanna be thugs & bad boys". After more than a decade of being the trendsetters for most American males in areas such as fashion, music, hairstyles, and just overall stupidity, I am proud to say that TODAY marks the end of their reign on society. I am reclaiming the male portion of society on behalf of all the GOOD men out there who work hard, are educated, are positive role models, that respect and love women, that open doors for women, that CAN BE honest and faithful, DON'T dress like a slob, and that can hold their own in a conversation about something other than themselves. At some point in the mid-1990s (after high school), it became acceptable for men to NOT be the best people that we can be. Even sadder is the fact that the scummier men became, the more "attractive" they became to TONS of women. From this day forward, if you know a woman that thinks, or hear a woman that says that she "loves a guy in sweatpants and Tims,
James 5:5 - So Meaningful!!!
James 5 Warning to Rich Oppressors 1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you. Patience in Suffering 7Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. 8You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. 9Don't grumble against each othe
You scored as A Slave To BDSM. Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you've been very naughty. You like teasing your partner and making them squirm, and not letting them be able to do anything about it. Some people think what you do is sick and disgusting, but you know it's all in good fun.A Slave To BDSM88%Sex God80%A Romantic50%Virgin23%How are you in bedcreated with
In 1973 (the Year You Were Born)
In 1973 (the year you were born) Richard Nixon is president of the US Supreme Court rules in Roe vs. Wade that states may not prevent a woman from having an abortion during the first trimester US announces the end of the military draft Spiro T. Agnew resigns after pleading no contest to charges of tax evasion while governor of Maryland Gerald R. Ford becomes the first appointed vice president under the 25th Amendment A total ban on oil exports to the US for six months is imposed by Arab nations after the outbreak of an Arab-Israeli war President Richard Nixon announces that a peace accord has been reached in Vietnam Drea de Matteo, Tori Spelling, Carson Daly, Monica Lewinsky, and Kate Beckinsale are born Oakland Athletics win the World Series Miami Dolphins win Superbowl VII Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup The Exorcist and American Graffiti are top grossing films Elvis Presley's Aloha From Hawaii television special is seen around the world by
Emigrating To Usa
Hi Can anyone help me. I am wanting to buy a business in florida. I am been told that as a UK citizen I need $120,000 To buy a business. What I can find out is If any off that could be as a loan in the usa. If anyone know can you tell me how to go about it Thank you
My Dream Last Night... Kicced A$$!!! Lol!!!
I had this dream last night sooooo weird first I was in this talking stuffed animal mall LOL and my Dad kept telling me to put the talking bears and M & M 's down cause we had to wait till they called us on their cell phones but then there was a huge earthquake and I got ceperated from My Dad so he told me to not call him on the cell phone bears but I stole 3 of them and took off in him blacc Cadillac ESV and headed down to Compton, Cali w/ you, my sister, and 3 others LOL and then my sister got scared we kept calling my Dad on all these numbers that he gave me on a sheet to all the teeddy bears I gave up on that one though, and then we saw like this one hugeeeeee blocc of bloods that were walking around praying in front of all these swingsets lol cause the swingset chair thingy wasen't on it, so there was just two chains hanging down and on eash of those 2 chains were 2 or one bloods hanging there all bloody by their neccs and heads and bullets in the middle of their head half an arm
Which Simpson Am I?
I Am A Happy Drunk!
Ashes To Ashes
~*~*the Answers!!! 911 Happen... Why? Look Right Here!!! *~*~
Ok... All you people who are wondering... and dening to try God in your lyfe... maybe this will change your mind... I'm just saying... your willing to try drugs... listin' to mainstream music... rape... stealing... watching a perticular movie.., why not try God? So... I'm just saying read this,,, and please tell me what you all think... Cause fo real... it's not a lie... many people belive... why can't you just try......?????? I think if the government took a look in the Bilble... they would think before they acted... but ehat's the chances of that happening? Slim and None!!! Love you all... MUAH!!! Matthew 24 Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 24:1 And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple. 24:2 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone up
.what Type Of Drink Am I?
Juice Boxes
Juice Boxes those damn Juice Boxes... I was drinking one this mornig and I like succed it really hard and let go of the straw a lil bit so I was biting on it w/ my teeth and it made this funny lil' sound I was like hahahahahahahahaha... fuccin' weird man... so then I was talking to my hommie on yahoo messenger and hes like "if you blow in the box juice flys out errywhere" and I totally had to try that cause I'm a dork like that and its FUCCIN' TRUE!!! I had juice all over me but that like kicced ass or it would have if someone was there to licc it off yadamean? So yeah Juice Boxes are the shyt... mine was a Hi-C Smashin' Wild Berry hell yeah it was good... even though its like a sip and its gone it was still rightious!!! LOL!!! Anywho... thats all I got to say right now... I should freestyle about it... ok... I got a Juice box its a hot Box when I sip a little sip its all gone why oh why are they so damn small Juciy Juice is good but Hi-C's better if you drink it fast you get a bra
Star Wars Horoscope
Star Wars Horoscope for Virgo You show efficiency when working for a good cause. But you tend to be a bit fussy when it comes to doing something out of the ordinary. Like many Virgos, you want to stay out of the spotlight. You do well at picking up the smallest details. Star wars character you are most like: C3P0 What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?
This Has To Be One Of The Most Unique Wtf Type Of Default Photos...
This captured my attention only because I was saying to myself, "What the heck is going on here? Is this a man or a walrus???" lol.... УÃЀ¥Ë ÅLЀRMÄÑ@ CherryTAP What do you think???
You scored as A Slave To BDSM. Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you've been very naughty. You like teasing your partner and making them squirm, and not letting them be able to do anything about it. Some people think what you do is sick and disgusting, but you know it's all in good fun.A Slave To BDSM90%Sex God75%Virgin35%A Romantic35%How are you in bedcreated with
Colts Vs Bears 2007 Superbowl
Though happy to see both my teams get to the Superbowl, I'm a bit torn. I've been a Bears fan since high school (mid 80s). The 1985 Bears was my team... Walter Payton, Jim McMahon, Fridge Perry... ahh yes, what a great team it was. The Colts had just arrived, and really weren't too impressive at the time, so I had to turn to the next state to the west to be able to root for a winner. Alas, the Colts improved. There was the Jim Harbaugh days and the last AFC championship game we were in against Pittsburgh (I still say we were robbed of that win), I started routing more for the home team. They didn't suck anymore. And then when Peyton Manning was drafted in 1998 for the Indianapolis Colts, it really seemed we might be going places. I must note here... to all the naysayers who thought the Colts should have taken Ryan Leif over Peyton Manning that year... HAH. I believe Ryan was watching this years season from his COUCH! Last years playoff's, we didn't make it, but this year we a
Hey sorry i haven't been on with the snow and moving is hard lol trying to get kids to help is like getting a guy to stop watching football!!!! and its impossible if ya know what i mean lol but its all good moving stuff while they are in school and at work!!! so if ya don't see me for a while you know why
Rap By The_infamous_8_pack My Good Hommie Dan Williams- Men Beating Wemon
dis goes out 2 all dem girls dat get da ass beat by durr nigga..You know it makes me unhappy When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy And since we all came from a woman Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman I wonder why we take from our women Why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women Time to heal our women, be real to our women And if we don't we'll have a race of babies That will hate the ladies, that make the babies And since a man can't make one He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one So will the real men get up I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head
Sombody's Got A Case Of The Mondays
First Day of classes for me. Its cold out. I'm cold. 2 of my crushes dumped me lol! Unloved again! Today is Monday, January 22, 2007 Today in Television History 1962 - Gene Chandler made his TV debut on "American Bandstand." 1947 - KTLA, Channel 5, in Hollywood, CA, began operation as the first commercial television station west of the Mississippi River. 1968 - "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In", debuted on NBC TV. 1973 - Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional career to George Foreman. He had been the undefeated heavyweight world champion since February 16, 1970 when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis. The event was HBO's first televised boxing match. 1987 - Phil Donahue became the first talk show host to tape a show from inside the Soviet Union. The shows were shown later in the year. 1990 - Guns 'N' Roses guitarist Slash used profanity numerous times on live television while accepting an American Music Award. 2002 - Pat Summerall announced that he would leave
Is It True? Does Nothing Last Forever???
In response to darkness personified@ CherryTAP’s blog posting that Nothing Lasts Forever, I stated the following: You think??? Nothing???? Some things stay a constant in our lives. At least, by our own perceptions. Forever being defined to ourselves as long as we, ourselves, exist. That is ourselves (being the constant and lasting for-ever)! Kat Do you agree????
Rap To A Good Friend - I Wanna Wish You A Good Day!!!
I dont wanna see you cry now i wonder why now you were pushed to the point where you knew you couldent take no more look in my eyes now i wanna show you that i care and i cant stand to see you hurtin i love the way you are i'm not that far away to help you when you need that if you my mother my brother my friend my sister my aunt i wanna wish you a good day... i wanna wish you a good day... Since you were feelin down and lonley I wanna hit you up my good hommie man how long have you known me we strong in this game no one can test us and justify are means and wish us good ridence i cant stand to see you hurting i will help you when you need that... i wanna wish you a good day i dont wanna see you cry no more, i dont... no i dont... i wonder why you were pushed to the point where you could not take it no more i wanna show you that i care i hate it when you are away i wanna wish you a good day... i wanna wish you a good day since you were feeling down and lonley my one tru hommie please
R.i.p. My 13 In Counting... I Will Miss You!!! November 11th 2006 Rap By Me!!! For The 13 Hommies I Lost!!!
To all the 13 in counting... I wish that I had been there to hold you when you passed from life to death, but I guess it was ment to be that way... we are always alone. I hope you were not scared. Your in a better place now with the Lord. That you love, and you are whole. I miss you, I'll never forget you. I loved you yesturday, today, and forever. Love alway, CripGirl!!! Now... in'a freestyle fo you cause I know how you loved the rap sceane... iight here I go heres my words from my heart for you!!! Why does God let good people suffer? And bad people prosper? You loved us more then anything on the planet. You let us know it and I think thats why you planned it. The way you lived was just a little bit different now call you crazy, diagnose skitsofrinic, wow! You were loved in your hood for most your life, and when you wasen't you were fuccin' wit somebodys life. But thats ok thats how things are but now your its like your locced up behind closed doors and no one can see you or be
You know, I have spent some time reading blogs and comments on the net for a while. Here's the thing, take some of the guys on the net. Abbreviating three letter words. How lame is that? Let's substitute "you" for "u". That's just one of many. Granted the internet is supposed to be a release from reality, but there should be a line drawn somewhere. I can handle certain things, but the overabundance of stupidity on the net kind of makes me wonder just what this world is coming to. I suppose maybe I'm being a little bit too critical on this, but I believe that if you can actually operate a computer the least that you could do is spell shit properly. I'm not talking about being the spelling police or anything else, just take the time to do shit right the first time. Honestly, when you actually take the time to think about it. What's that say for you if you have to substitute minor changes in the way you spell things. Kind of makes one wonder on whether you're as stupid off of th
Top Ten Things Men Would Do If They Woke Up With A Vagina For A Day
TOP TEN THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY... 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too. 1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
If I Feel Love...
if i feel love... i won't deny it... if you love me... i will cherish it... and if love's gone tomorrow... please don't hide it...
All Done With Pimpin' My Page
Had to make it look like I own it ;) I don't really know if I know how this all works but I think my "friends" (fans and family) get notification of my blog entries if ya haven't been back to my page, you should come and check it out now that it's more complete :)
Have A Great Monday...
Shitty F"ing Monday
Well, it's now quarter to seven in the morning and I've been up for more than 3 hours. Apparently Duke was so distraught about the Pats losing to the Colts that he had to wake the whole house up at 3:30 A fucking M to complain about it. Oh well, at least I'm still able to get up every day. This is my first blog and I don't know if I'll keep up with it but I've been toying with the idea for a few weeks now. Oh shit I just realized I'm missing Stern. Gotta log in real quick. That's better. Where was I, oh yeah, will I blog consistantly. It seems like something I want to do right now but 4 days from now I might hate it. I'll just do it for now and see how it plays out. I'm not sure how long this should be so I guess I'll just stop when I run out of either time or thoughts. I do want to put in writing, even if no one sees it, that I still support Tom Brady and the rest of the Patriots. That was one hell of a game last night. I thought they were gonna pull it off right up until
My Business Card
Jolene Pleasure Producer 'What will your sex business card say?' at
Whats In A Name?
This is what your name means =A- Very good kisser =B- Good all around person =c-your wild n crazy =D- You have a nice ass. =E- You have one of the best personalites ever. =F- People totally adore you =G- You never let people tell you what to do. =H- You have a very good personality and looks. =I- You get hyper easily. =J- Everyone loves you. =K- You like to try new things =L- You live to have fun. =M- Success comes easily to you. =N- You are absolutly beautiful =O- ur AN AWESOME PERSON! =P- You are popular with all types of people. =Q- You are a hypocrite. =R- Fuckin sexy. =S- easy to fall in love with. =T- You're loyal to those you love. =U- You really like to chill. =V- You are not judgemental. =W- You are very broad minded. =X- You never let ppl tell u wat to do =Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for =Z- You like it in the butt VERY VERY HARD.
Amazing Cheer Leader Slide Show
Please Rate This Slide Show & Send a copy to your friends. Cool Slideshows CLICK HERE To Check Us Out Today "
I'm High... Shyttt!!!
I fuccin' love being high, its been 9 years of hardcore smoking weed and trust me I would never change it, its incredible, you laugh alot you think of shyt you would never think of ever in your life and I mean smart things like inventions and OMG I love it, I kill the foo who told me never to start in Kansas, LOL, Ray was right it kiccs ass mon... LOL, and I understand That 70's Show now, I use to not when I didn't smoke but man I understand errything now its freakin' amazing and then I'm one to love the shyt out of art and damn the glass pipes, bongs, zongs, 6 footers, bubblers, all that shyt freakin' amazes me, but my song broke yesturday and I cryed a million tears cause thats an original Zong from Zong Company and they went out of business last year that would have been worth a pretty penny but now ima glue it bacc together cause man did that thing make me feellllll soooooo goooooooood... its in my pics on this myspace, LOL, I got so many Myspaces... oh yeah my best good friend liv
Some Quiz Results
Ok that I have the results I'm thinking maybe I don't really want to post them - cuz I can just imagine the ideas it's gonna give some of you ...ahhh, but what the hell :P Those of you who have read my page and know of my aussie friend and tell me how lucky he is are likely to think so even more now lol ============================================ You scored as Wet. You're wet 'n' wild, while that isn't always a good thing, we have to give you points for trying...right? Hot94%Wet94%Exciting88%Soft88%Violent81%Sweet69%Awkward50%Shy25%What is your sexual style?created with You scored as A Slave To BDSM. Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you
Nothing Lasts Forever...
things change...people change..nothing remains the same...nothing lasts forever...
Fantastic Cheerleader Slide Show
Please Rate This Slide Show & Tell Your Friends To Come See Us Cool Slideshows CLICK HERE To Check Us Out Today "
Jan 22 Dea "pill Bottle Dump" At Your Local Federal Building
RE: Jan 22 DEA "Pill Bottle Dump" at your local federal building ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Jack Herer Date: Jan 22, 2007 1:15 AM Monday, January 22nd, patients and advocates will gather at their local federal buildings to demand an end to federal raids on medical cannabis patients and providers. Ask the DEA to Help You Find Your Medical Marijuana! Be part of the January 22 DEA "Pill Bottle Dump" at your local federal building! Medical cannabis patients and providers are under attack! Over the past month, the DEA conducted raids on three dispensaries and several medical cannabis grow facilities across California, restricting safe access to cannabis for bona-fide patients statewide. In response, ASA is organizing a national day of action on Monday, January 22nd, 2007. When the 110th Congress convenes, patients and advocates nationwide will assemble at their local federal buildings to demand an end to DEA raids on patients and providers
My Tats..displayed On Another Cherry Page
RKMrBig@ CherryTAP To view go to his pics...look under the folder for other cherry tat's
The Purpose Of Life
What is the purpose of life? Life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day our heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of our body, but not the end for you. You may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but you are going to spend trillions of years in eternity. Life is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ liken
Void In My Heart...
if i can see my heart...i will be able to see a big fat void...a void so'll be a wonder if i can still see any trace of my heart much much much passions...locked up all these years...have broken out...out of a heart's prison that's made of it's helter animals in a forest fire...frantically...helplessly searching for the right path for survival...where is my guiding light?...
A Reflection......
You walk in the room, suddenly i feel my heart beat harder than a drum roll, i look at you and see my future in your eyes, a reflection of you me and them, 1 day away from you is like a year after the creator called you home, time seems to come to a halt when i am around you, my heart aches when i know that i have hurt you, my soul soars when i make you smile, suddenly my life have so much more meaning, i feel you in everything i do, the whisper of my name across your lips, the taste of your love still on my tongue, i wake with thoughts of you next to me, only to to slapped into reality that your not there, just the view of your skin sends thrills thru out my body, i fear you and want you all in the same breath, you make me strong when i dont want, you weaken me when i want to be strong, you show me that a 4 letter word is still worth sayin, doin and trustin, you freed my wintery heart, and yet caged my soul in your hands, i wish only to share one starry night al
Hi All
jus saying hi to all i haven't forgotten ne 1 will return comments n rate pics as I can
Chicago Bears Go To Super Bowl 41
A Super Sunday The Saints were the favorites in a lot of people's minds, but on Championship Sunday, it was the Bears who enjoyed a spectacular performance, winning 39-14 to advance to Super Bowl XLI. In wintery conditions, Chicago built a 16-0 first-half lead before the Saints rallied to within 16-14. From there, it was all Chicago. The defense got a safety on intentional grounding in the end zone, and then Rex Grossman led the offense on a five-play, 85-yard drive that culminated in a 33-yard touchdown pass to Bernard Berrian and a 25-14 lead. Saints turnovers then set up the Bears' final two touchdowns: A 12-yard Cedric Benson run and a Thomas Jones 15-yard run. The win marks Chicago's first return to the Super Bowl since the 1985 Bears suffled their way to a Super Bowl XX win against New England. The Bears will face the Colts in Super Bowl XLI in South Florida on Feb. 4. For More Go To ....
January 22, 2007: King Kong
A very loud car stereo system that includes amps and sub woofers. "If you hear me 'fore you see me I got King Kong in the trunk!" - Jibbs
Bryant Mcgill Forum Invitation
I AM A MEMBER, AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO. Please join me in the community meant to help you achieve your dreams. You will not find a nicer more positive group of people anywhere else on the Internet. If you are having tough times, you are sure to find some good advice and support at this community, where there is NO NEGATIVE ENERGY. Also, many industry professionals, actors, professors, singers and other good spirited people are regular contributors to this website. This is the one place you can be your true self, make meaningful relationships, share your work and have fun. Click here to sign-up and to chat with me now: Please repost this, or email it to any of your friends would would like to help. Hope to see you there! :) Devine TxRose@ CherryTAP
My Bears are finally making a superbowl trip after 21 long years...They stomped the Aints,I thought it would be a close game but it wasnt.I hope they get the respect that deserve now. If anyone wants any bears tags see me...I have lots of them... GO BEARS beat them COLTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let Our Voices Be Heard
LET OUR VOICES BE HEARD Life in the 21st century should be easy sailing for all people, but as you and I both know it is not. With the massive Jewish influence in the media, the government sponsoring terrorists through funding of Israel and the blacks and mestizo gaining unchecked access to our borders. The life for a white man has become regressive to the first time we settled our lands. Instead of us fighting Indians now we are forced to fight the illegal’s flooding our borders on an hourly basis, instead of building towns and technologies we are forced to protect them. With knowledge being controlled and news being censored it has become ever so present that the white race is under siege by the Jew and their hate filled agenda. More and more of our children are being brainwashed and being lead to believe that they should be ashamed of the race they come from. The way of life we live has come under constant attack from the would be un-doers of our race, with the control in t
Not A Queen But Still A Wonderful Young Lady
Good Morning. Well that was a certainly fast moving weekend. Started out by picking the oldest up at the South Bend Airport Friday late afternoon and from there I rushed her back home to change and then we left for the High School basketball game in which Coloma pretty much was not a factor. They got a whipped like a thoroughbred by a thoroughbred. Lakeshore was rated #5 in class B so no contest. Manda was doing interviews and then dinner with the judges where all the girls get to mingle with the judges and ask questions and just sort of unwind. The funny thing is the dinner that was chosen for the girls was Chicken Wings….ok what kind of sick ass does that? Anyway I am thinking it was to see who was more proper in there eating of the often related to as a snack food and not a main course unless the judges wanted to find out who would order a beer with theirs…Anyway the evening went well for all the girls. The girls that were in the contest had to call it an early evening and we who we
The Colts Go To The Super Bowl
Indianapolis Colts On to Miami Falling behind 21-3 after a Peyton Manning pass was intercepted and returned for the touchdown, it seemed once again that the Colts would be unable to get past the Patriots in the playoffs. But this time the Colts persevered, rallying for a 38-34 win in the AFC Championship Game to advance to Super Bowl XLI. Manning led the comeback -- the biggest in conference championship game history -- throwing for 349 yards and directing the drive that gave Indy the win on Joseph Addai's 2-yard touchdown run with a minute left. "I don't get into monkeys and vindication," Manning said. "I don't play that card. I know how hard I worked this season, I know how hard I worked this week. It's always nice when you can take the hard work, put it to use and come away with a win." The Colts will meet the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI on Feb. 4 in South Florida. For more go to
Smarter Thn Us Einstien
I Once Had A Heart..
i once had a heart and it was true but now its gone from me to you so take care of it as i have done because now you have 2 and i have none
Its True
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Terrorism No Laughing Matter For Australian Airline
Please Rate This Blog Terrorism no laughing matter for Australian airline 22 Jan 2007 National airline Qantas on Monday refused to allow an Australian man to board a flight from Melbourne to London because he was wearing a T-shirt that [accurately] depicted United States President [sic] George W Bush as a terrorist.
Us Troops Surge Into Iraq As Death Toll Mounts
Please Rate This Blog US troops surge into Iraq as death toll mounts 22 Jan 2007 The first troops in President [sic] George Bush's "surge" arrived in Baghdad yesterday to the news that America had suffered its deadliest day in Iraq for nearly two years.
Bitter Sweet Memories
Today the Chicago Bears win a spot in the superbowl!! I can see his smile...the excitement in his eyes..from his hospital bed..watching the screen flashing frantic fans and a field in disaray..hes yelling..the nurses are angry..trying to warn him..he needs to keep calm you see...because soon he is dying..the doctor gave him 6 months..or so he told my mother..he didn't know..he was a strong man..full of wisdom and pride..a tall stance and and a long stride...we refused to take the last months of that from him..the news would have detroyed his dignity..rather..we helped him thru his pain..until the sad reality was to clear and imobile to him..and still through his sorrow and devistating pain..he remained strong and never lost his pride..even when the good old welfare system stamped that big NO on his request for help...he kept his head held high..and in a stern angry grumble..refused to surrender the home he had struggled to mantain for his family of 9..too many 14 hr many cr
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Is ~s.s.s~..?!?
Ok so you're asking yourselves.. what the fuck is S.S.S? Well I will tell you.. We are the Smart Sexy Silly Trio. That's right bishes... we be ~S.S.S~ Check us out! You will love us, everyone does. ¢¾Trixy¢¾ ¢Ô HateSEX Poetess ¢Ô ¥æ DUNGEON DJ ¥æ@ CherryTAP Razzamapple~S.S.S~@ CherryTAP MJ™ [one♥love]~S.S.S~@ CherryTAP
The Factor
"The first factor in the revolution of consciousness is the mystic death of the ego- the death of negative thinking, negative personalities. We must purify the soul of the inner enemies. Every time a defect manifests- envy, gluttony, anger, lust, whatever-that impulse to the heart. Ask, `Do I really need to invoke this?' And then honor the heart." Our egos have character defects. These character defects we sometimes act out and they invariably bring results to our lives that we might not want. If we continue to use these character defects, we will continue to have undesirable results in our lives. How do we change ourselves or get rid of a character defect We can go to the heart-ask a question, make a decision-then honor the heart. For example, say I get angry today. I would go to the heart and ask, would I rather be right or would I rather be happy? How we answer this question can have an enormous impact on how our da
New Ladys Only Pics!!!!
hi all i added 3 more ladys only pics tonight please come and rate them and tell me what you think. have a great day bye bye
My X's
y o u a r e [ ] 5'2 and under [ ] 5'3 - 5'5" [x] 5'6 - 6'0 [ ] 6'1 - 6'3 [ ] 6'4 and taller [ ] you dont know n a t u r a l l y [] blonde [ ] redhead [ ]brunette [ ] dirty blonde [x] dark brown [ ] black [ ] kind of both blond n red [ ] kind of both brunette and black [ ] kind of both brunette and red [ ] kind of both brunette and blonde [ ] purple. e y e s []blue-eyed [ ] brown-eyed [ ] green-eyed [x] hazel eyed [ ] dark eyed [ ] gold/gray-eyed [ ] silver/gray- eyed [ ] blue/green-eyed [ ] blue/gray-eyed [ ] I DONT KNOW [x] glasses [ ] contacts [ ] neither [ ] both h a i r . [x] short hair [ ] medium hair [ ] long hair [ ] shaved [ ] shaggy y o u r f a v o r i t e c o l o r s [x] red [] hot pink [ ] yellow [x] black [ ] green [x] neon green [ ] blue [ ] white [x]turquoise [ ] silver [x] purple [ ] brown [ ] orange [ ] gray [x] maroon [ ] gold [x] deep purple [x] blood red d o n e / a t t e m p t e d [ ]
Chery Spotlight Part 2 And Contest Update
OK so i said I wouldnt pay over 400K for the spotlight but it was SO much fun! Id never get it done on a workday though bcause i swear I was busy ALL day. But Im #1 for the day at least, I'm up 1,000 ratings and about 500 fans and I dont even know how many friends so although I wish it was cheaper, it was WELL worth it! I was hoping to be in the top 100 but thats gonna take a little more work but considering i just joined on Nov. 7th, I think Im doing pretty good.Ive met a lot of amazing people!Even got back in touch with some friends i hadnt seen in a while.If i didnt return love sent my way due to mass alerts please let me know. I want to thank all the endless friends of the contestants too for their loyalty to their friends. Its still a close race! REMEMBER CONTEST ENDS WEDNESDAY AT NOON EST! DUE TO THE TREMENDOUS RESPONSE I AM MAKING ONE LITTLE CHANGE. I AM UPGRADING 3RD PLACE FROM 5,000 CHERRY BUCK PRIZE TO A 20,000 BIG PIMPIN GIFT OF YOUR CHOICE! SO FOR THOSE IN THE RUNNIN
I recently put up 2 mumms life and life 2. In life, i asked the question "are we born only to die". And in life 2, i asked the question "are we put on this earth to make a difference, whether it be big or small". And i have heard many different opinions on life. To answer my first question of life, "are we born only to die". As soon as we are created in the womb we start dieng. So, it shouldn't be only to die. I believe we are born to live, and make the most of our lives before we die. Which brings me to my second question of life, "are we put on this earth to make a difference, whether it be big or small". I do believe we are to use our lives to make a difference, wheter it be big or small. We make one as soon as we are created in the womb. so the biggest question is, are we going to live to make the most difference we can, before we die? Or, are we going to just sit on our butts and say we cant make a differnce cause we are only one person. Just remember the differnce
Good Ol' Rebel
Oh, I'm a good old Rebel, now that's just what I am, For this "Fair Land of Freedom" I do not give a damn! I'm glad I fit against it, I only wish we'd won, And I don't want no pardon for anything I done. I hates the Constitution, this Great Republic, too, I hates the Freedman's Buro in uniforms of blue, I hates the nasty eagle with all his brag and fuss, The lying, thieving Yankees, I hates 'em wuss and wuss! I hates the Yankee nation and everything they do, I hates the Declaration of Independence, too, I hates the "Glorious Union" , 'tis dripping with our blood, I hates their striped banner, I fit it all I could. I followed old Marse Robert for four years, near about, Got wounded in three places, and starved at P'int Lookout; I cotched the "roomatism" a'campin' in the snow, But I killed a chance o' Yankees, and I'd like to kill some mo'. Three hundred thousand Yankees is stiff in Southern dust! We got three hundred thousand before they conquered us. They died
I Have So Many Different Faces Lol
"spring Cleaning" Update
Ok......I just dumped 40 people off my list. As for the rest of you, Im keeping my eyes on you. For the remaining people on my list, you have all done a pretty good job of dropping by for a visit here and there, and thats all I ask for. Hope the new year is treating you all well. And hope to remain in contact with you all through this year. Much love!! Candace
Best Parent/child Default Pictures 012207
This is quite possibly one of the best I have seen because: (1) You can actually see what is posted even in the thumbnail image; (2) Colors are vibrant; and, (3) Fun and loving, nurturing attitude is implied here. Horse3105@ CherryTAP Ran across another one this morning. It doesn't have the same clarity of the first one because some of the size is diminished within the frame, but everything else mentioned above is also true of this default picture. amanda@ CherryTAP
He Rides With Honor !!!!!
He Rides With Honor Whears Is The Honor Now ?
My First Blog, Here
This is a pretty cool site. Not as good as myspace though! It's a little bit more orginized than this site. Anyway's My name is Amanda. I'm obsessed with the band Linkin Park. Chester and Mike are the two bestest ones! If you don't like them, muahaha... don't comment to me! I'm sleepy and posting around on message boards and stuff. I go to ALL kinds. Like, there is this one message board, and it's ALL prono, and let me say, BRAVE ASS people there!! Some of them ugly as hell and will still post themselves nude and shit. HAHA, I've also posted myself nude... I kind of make mine crative. And I know I have because I've had lots of good comments there. I'm sleepy, and can't type anymore!!!! I'M GOING TO SLEEEEEEP, BEACAUSE I'M ALREADY IN BED!!! LOVE LAPTOPS!!
Celebs Look-a-like
Crush Project Research Pt. 2
Okay. So it turns out I got one out of the two. But he was doing it for game. Hahaha. You loser. Hahaha. "silveroak" you played a good game...even gave me a clue...buut it was so hard. Hahaha. I have picked out new people. The List: 1) avengerki 2) Aj 3) rich Again. None of these might be right, so you'll just have to tell me so I can start again.
Fathers That Lost To Cancer
To our daddy I know your not here right now daddy ,your still in our hearts to you will be missed daddy because we still love you ,daddy we look for you and we know your still around ,we miss you daddy and we are so proud,we love you daddy we miss your smiles and you laughter to ,we know you’re around us daddy we feel you kiss us to ,you will be missed daddy but our hearts are open to you ,we love you daddy and our love is all for you. By Richard Rushing In Loving Memory of my Wife father Marvin Loyd
A Long Deep Sigh
I look out my window into a winter wasteland lookin for answers When the answers rely in me but im just too blind to see My situation isn't a tight one but a very dificult one to put to rest With time and effort i will make them happen but will it be for the worst or the best A million and one thoughts fill my head on what i should do and what i shouldn't do Without a clue i continue to let it eat at me and eat at me til there's nothin The more i think about it the worst i feel, the less i think about it the worst i feel With this stress i feel without feelin and i deal to forget about it at the moment Still lookin into the wasteland i think and i think and then i figure it out Now i can collect and rebuild myself the way i intended to do
Hmm...apparently I Look Like These People
Not In Touch
not in touch even though I blew you not two hours ago and this has been going on for so long and even though we are friends and talk (all flirty and flippant with extreme shifts to personal and frank), I am scared to curl up into a ball towards you, into you, especially if you fall asleep before I do – as is so often the case because I never sleep anyway and sometimes I think I forgot how to fall asleep first, into drunken sleep, into confidence, comfort zones, all those close and cozy cares. I am so afraid to reach in the night for your hand, thigh, shoulder. and even during the transition from dark to dawn to day, desperate inaction holds its firm grip. I’ve been known to chain-smoke, throw back a beer, get high, do anything – something so I never have to peel off the wrapper and find no prize waiting when I lie down next to you. Sometimes, waiting, I think I could fall asleep in your touch, waking but asleep, next to you,
Heeeeeereee's Johnnnny....
mitch Porn Star 'What will your sex business card say?' at
To All You Assholes
To All You Assholes You got your hair cut and you grew a ‘stache. You sat beneath the orange lights and bitched about rich people and their excesses, rich boy. You told me what a nice guy you were while winking at Becky when my back was turned and unsuccessfully attempting to subtly insult me. No, your veiled cruelty did not go over my head. We argued about war and pacifism. I still laugh at Ho Chi Minh city and find cities named after dictators absurd. You think you’re hot-shit, don’t you? You, the king of the “I’m-so-smart-and-and-smooth” crew. The one thing you “look at me, I’m so cool” types don’t realize is the cooler you think you are, the less I find you cool. Next time I see you, please do not insult my intelligence or try to make your sappy puppy-dog face at me. It won’t work. And please, especially, do not touch my shoulder or elbow or try to play footsie with me. You’re not my type, bud. Quit my sight, you hair “Bear,” or leave your pompous bullsh
Ghost I. She does not come till later, not that summer, my twelfth, not until after Camp Kanata’s mess hall where I nibbled at grilled cheese, vegetable soup, sipped the watery bug juice. I popped Dexatrim at wooden tables, popped them sitting thick in grass, on a hill overlooking the lake, where the kids push each other into cold water, muddied a milky, silt-soaked tobacco color, water to which many have lost me. II. Many have lost me or I become lost to them. Later I might have thrown bags of peanuts at you, hit you square in the temple. Maybe I’ll throw my 32-ounce Mountain Dew in your acne-scarred face. Perhaps I’ll drink too much, make out with too many boys, forget you exist. Then, underneath you, my face hidden from yours, cradling you the way a bird’s nest cradles her delicate eggs, I’ll breakdown, tell my hysterical tale of betrayal, answer every question honestly. III. Question honestly how “a” gets to “g,” how we move effortles Was A Longer Night Than I Thought....
Almost thru January now. I've been back to work now for almost a month. I was out of work for almost 3 months because of back surgery. This was my third one and it scared the hell outta me. First time i've ever had to walk with a cane because my left leg became to weak to support me. You know your in pretty bad shape when they wheel you into pre-op and drug you up to prep you and you don't even feel it. LOL. The nurses kept walking by asking me if i was okay. I just kept giving them dirty looks and saying ''. LOL. Well so far so good. The operation went great according to my surgeon so i guess i'm all fixed for now. M.
Our Bank Accounts!!
OUR BANK ACCOUNT This is AWESOME....something we should all remember. A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sh eets that had been hung on his window. "I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait." "That doesn' t have anything to do with it," he replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture i
Hiding Out In Neverland
Hiding Out In Neverland I. We women, we girls, we beautiful baby girls, we all have stories to tell, and yet it always feels like someone is stifling us, holding us back, saying “shhhh… now is not the time for that,” while we scream inside. I’m watching CSI: forensic evidence of some sicko creep, child-molesting, serial killer, pervert perpetrator flashes on my screen. After all these years, (twenty or so), I have the physical reaction I should’ve had the first time I saw Twin Peaks or Law & Order: SVU or . . . well, eight million and twelve other pieces of media. I run outside, dry heave, maybe I vomit just a little bit of bile and chardonnay – any alcohol that I think will keep the monsters and real life far far away. II. I want to rename myself Wendy Darling and take the second star to the right and go straight on forever. They say never-neverland is a pretty nice place. You never have to grow up or face grown-up prob
No Niggers In Our Schools
NO NIGGERS IN OUR SCHOOLS No we don't want niggers in our schools We're not for immigration Keep those niggers in their place We'll have a better nation Our southland got along just fine Until those immigrators Came down here sturring up a mess With outside aggitators They'll march, sit in and demonstrate And try to take our schools They want to change our southern way With a brand new set of rules No we don't want niggers in our schools We're not for immigration Keep those niggers in their place We'll have a better nation We must prove to martin luther We stand for what is right No court, or left-wing liberals Can ever make him white Form a solid line of white men Conservatives we'll be They'll never ever overcome Our schools will still be free No we don't want niggers in our schools We're not for immigration Keep those niggers in their place We'll have a better nation We must prove to martin luther We stand for what is right No court, or left-w
Congradulations! Chicago Bears Nfc Chapions 2006
Congradulations! to the Chicago Bears in making football history after 22 years we been waiting for us to return to the Surperbowl and after tonight win we are one game away in making history again by winning the Superbowl XLI all us bear fans are behind u 100% and Congradulations! for the Chicago Bears NFC Champions 2006 and giving us a new hope and for believeing again, and Good Luck When we go against the colts thank You again for a great season and hope soon to be World Champions u guys deserve it and good luck to all the players and coaches who made this team a success, Congradulations and we are all with u in ur gola winning the Superbowl in Maimi. P.S. Congradulations Chicago Bears on ur NFC Championship win against New Orleans Saints 39-14, and in our mind and hearts u r and forever will be our Champs, and to us U R already Super Bowl World Champs, Since 1985 we waited for us to return to another superbowl, it took 22 years in the making but we are heading back to the sup
Stand Up And Be Counted
STAND UP AND BE COUNTED Stand up and be counted Show the world that you're a man! Stand up and be counted Go with the Ku Klux Klan! We are a sacred brotherhood Who love our country true We always can be counted on When there's a job to do We serve our homeland day and night To keep it always free And proudly wear our robes of white Protecting liberty! Stand up and be counted Show the world that you're a man! Stand up and be counted Go with the Ku Klux Klan! The Bible calls for glory to Our symbols of the man A sword, and water, rope, and hood Portray our noble Klan! In search of peace and liberty We pledge our hearts and hands We must defeat the Communists To save our Christian Land! Stand up and be counted Show the world that you're a man! Stand up and be counted Go with the Ku Klux Klan!

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