Today pretty much blew goats.
I'll spare you all the stories of the negative numbers in my bank account, or the fact that one of my best friends can lean on me whenever she needs something but if I'm not in top form she acts like a huge raging bitch (she's had a bad few days too..She's sick..But not too sick to ditch me to get laid).
Instead, I'll give you the icing on the cake.
I got a speeding ticket.
I may have been going a little fast.
Fine.
After getting shit from the cop as to why the car doesn't trace back to my name (it traces back to my dad's, we have the same last name and look exactly the same) this woman starts grilling me about why my car has plates from Minnesota.
I almost told her that it was because that's where I stole it from.
Tell them what they want to hear, that's my philosophy.
She then writes me a ticket for the speeding, the taillight that some asshole broke with a beer bottle, and get this.
Not wearing my glasses while driving.
Anyone who has known me for more than say, thirty seconds, knows that I am blind without some sort of corrective lens.
I don't mean "Can't read the bottom line on the eye chart" blind.
I mean, last time I was at the eye doctor, I couldn't even find the chart.
I'm not exaggerating.
So I told a woman with a gun, and a bright light in my eye that without my glasses on I wouldn't be able to even find the car to get in it.
She then asks me what I'm doing driving.
"I wear contacts."
She stared at me for a good fifteen seconds and said "Oh. I didn't even think of that! Contacts!"
Are you fucking kidding me?
And this woman has a gun.
She then followed me about 6 blocks up, and then passed me.
On the shoulder.
Without a signal.
Speeding.
Bitch.
