ladyvelvet's blog: "Domina of Discipline and Dark Desire"

Typically most people see BDSM in different light. Just like someone would see a painting, or photograph or even interpret a poem. That holds true for any local community that you might come across. Everyone having their own set of rules but for any intense and purpose, most have standards that are included. At the risk of sounding cliche', the first one rings true for pretty much everyone and everywhere: What happens at a party, munch or gathering, stays there. To most, that would be a given, but you would be surprised how many have ignored that rule and embarrassed themselves by blabbing about so and so's attendance at this party THEY were at!? How smart is that? Another real strong rule that I feel is crucial is that most people, when playing in a group environment SHOULD not only bring their own toys, but maybe someone to use them on?! It is considered a taboo, unless you are handed the implement by the owner, to reach for something that doesn't belong to you. Which includes, toys AND property. I think of it as the same rule that would apply to a sword, knife or gun. If it's not yours, don't touch it, and if you do, be sure you know how to use it effectively because I will consider it a threat on my person and property. A HUGE rule that I enforce with every bit of Myself is that NO ONE, unless there is a Dungeon Master with the responsibility of doing so, should interrupt or intrude on a scene. I personally have had a submissive in good sub-space and had the individual witnessing the scene touch and attempt to talk to her. Bless her, at which time, she turned and looked at him only to get the words "Shut up! Your fucking up a good buzz." All I could do is laugh. If you are uncomfortable with what you are witnessing, why stay? Get up and slowly leave the room to see what is comfortable for you. I hope, and this is just My opinion, that in most cases any illegal or controlled substances are not allowed if play is to take place. I hestitate to even condone playtime should the person be on aspirin, or a glass of wine. I watch closely what the intake is of my partners and will not play should they chose to indulge. As a whole, basic etiquette for any Nilla party should be put on at any BDSM party. However, remember, Rules between individuals vary so much that there is no way to tell if something is OK to do or discuss without at least inquiring to make sure that you are not promotion the infraction. If you don't know.....ASK! And please remember, just because your rules might be different from someone else's, doesn't give us the right to judge the way their life is led. This is definitely not a life for closed minded and judgmental individuals. Want to learn more about Lady Velvet or even speak to her? Visit her at: www.LadyVelvetNoir.com