I'm a part of a number of writing groups. Most of them have some kind of challenge. Sunday one was issued where we were to write a four verse couplet poem. Though I don't have to explain for most, a couplet is a matching meter and rhyme poem. You have the same syllables in a two line stanza with the ending word rhyming pattern. I originally started with this poem. It was to long. I liked it so much I decided to use it for this week's Poetry Wednesday.
Though this poem is LOOSELY based on me it isn't entirely. I am not about to attempt suicide. I'm not longing for love. And I'm not depressed. Let me give you some background. I may not have make the images sharp enough.
All this woman knows is depression. Life has beaten her down and she thinks she can't get any lower. The winds have come and scattered her dreams. Love doesn't know her name. She has no value, importance, or self-esteem. She's basically a shell of a woman playing at living life. She's dead inside.
On night she goes to the lake to take her life. She's had enough of the inner demons, the pity parties she throws for herself, and the total lack of disregard from everyone in her life. She thinks she would be better off died. At least that's what her mind is telling her.
Inside she's silently praying for a miracle to happen. She doesn't think she's worth saving, but nonetheless it's the only hope she has. She's turned her back on religion, but prays someone is listening to the silent call of her heart and soul.
A vision appears before her. Her shame can't compare with the beauty before her. Love pours from the spirit. It tells her any, and all, love is a gift and she needs to embrace it here on earth to completely understand the love of the Father in heaven. It tells her she's not as bad as she seems to think she is. And that there is beauty to be seen if she were to only open her eyes.
It disappears and she sees the error of her ways. She falls to her knees sobbing, begging, forgiveness for what she was about to do and had been thinking. She finds she loves herself to much to destroy the gift of life and wants more out of the life she almost destroyed.
When morning comes her beloved finds her on the beach. He rushes to her and says he's been looking for her all night. He gazes into her eyes and sees a new light. He smiles at the changes he sees.
She came to terms with life during the night and is REALLY ready to understand where his love comes from. She wants to grasp that love and release herself from the past evils. Her soul is freed. Her eyes shine with love and she tells him the secrets of her heart.
She's tried of being the victim and wants to start being the conqueror. She wants to bring the light inside FOR herself and let him see the beauty he already clearly sees and so much more. She wants to give everything inside to him and prays he'll never turn from her in anger, betrayal, deception, deceit, find her unworthy, come to believe she's not lovable, or just get tired of her moods and leaves because she's driving him nuts. She wants to embrace life by his side in any way, shape, or form. The most important thing she wants is for him to TRULY love her as much as he says he does.
I want you to understand this poem because we've all been, to some degree, exactly where the woman in the poem is. Sorry for such a length explanation :os. Here's my poem for this week.