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The Mentor and the Protégé is a romantic pattern that's about more than love for love's sake. In it, love grows out of deeper need to learn and understand other aspects of your life through the teachings of someone else.
But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: Love isn't the only thing you're after.
You want power, success, attention, maybe even fame. You want to be recognized, doted on, and adored for your talents. And the object of your desire is the person best suited to provide you with these things — a boss, a mentor, a teacher, or a troubled genius.
Similarly, the object of your affection can take the place of an absent parent or role model, providing security and nurturance. Whatever the reason, you're likely to feel a boost to your self-image when you're with this person.
Just as this romantic pattern overpowers you, you might wish to be overpowered by someone stronger, wiser, and more accomplished than yourself. Your romantic pattern starts out innocently enough. Did you recently take a job working for an amazing boss? Has a teacher or mentor taken a special interest in your work? Maybe a long-time family friend stopped by for a visit, and revealed a fascinating side you've never seen before. The attention this person gives you is just what you're craving. From there, it's not a huge leap to falling in love.
In "My Fair Lady" a bet to train a poor woman in the ways of high society blossoms into romance. An older gent tumbles head over heels for a much younger woman in "Gigi." When secretary Tess McGill (played by Melanie Griffith) finds out her boss has stolen her idea in the movie "Working Girl," she gets revenge not only by taking her boss's place but stealing her beau. Bridget Jones has an affair with her boss, and in "The Graduate" Benjamin Braddock is sleeping with the wife of his father's boss. Sometimes these affairs work out; sometimes they don't. But the familiarity of this classic pattern itself is what brings them to life. You undoubtedly have seen yourself in some of these entertainments.
But this is just scratching the surface of what we uncovered about the romantic pattern that drives your relationships.
While you were taking this test, we analyzed your responses to different types of questions, questions that get at the underlying factors of your relationship patterns.
These questions measure aspects of your formative experiences, your self-esteem, and your subconscious reactions to romantic scenarios — the dimensions that direct your behavior and choice of partners.
This allows us to look at the source of your romantic pattern — how and when this pattern became attractive to you — and allows us to make specific suggestions that will help you make better choices, and find true happiness in love.
