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Rib poking good

If you were riding on a bus and felt a sudden, sharp poke in the ribs, how would you feel? Most people say they would probably feel irritated or angry and some say they would feel scared. That's normal. Let's say, just for this example, that you would feel angry. You might be thinking something like, "That stupid jerk. He ought to be careful. You shouldn't just poke people in the ribs." Those thoughts would clearly lead you to be angry. Now suppose you look over to see who had poked you and realize it was a blind man. He was taking off his sweater and he accidentally poked you with his elbow. Now how would you feel? Most people say they would feel sad or even embarrassed that they were angry with the man. Here's the important part…YOU STILL GOT POKED IN THE RIBS! The event [getting poked in the ribs] was exactly the same but your feelings changed from anger to sadness or embarrassment. Clearly, if events and people made you angry, then the same exact event couldn't immediately cause two different feelings. The feelings must be controlled by something else. That "something else" is your thoughts. When you saw it was a blind man who had poked you, your thoughts probably changed to something like, "It was an accident. He didn't mean to do it." Those thoughts would make your anger disappear. So the biggest myth about anger is that other people and other things cause anger. They don't. Your thoughts cause anger and that's good news because if your thoughts cause anger, you can learn to change your thoughts to manage your angry feelings. Yet… he still pisses me off.
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