Originally posted on MySpace Saturday, September 09, 2006
My friend, who goes by Fragger, just posted a blog called What is wrong with guys? Basically, he wondered why SO MANY of us males act like utter jerks - they say and do all the right things to get laid and then they're Casper, or worse - the nightmare come to stay. In response to this and the comments thereto: I, for one, will NOT admit that getting laid is MY ultimate goal. At least, not on the first date, it's not. By the third date, maybe. I generally DO want to go out with a lady which - frankly, yes - I find physically appealing. But also something else has to appeal to me - I've had 1 bad marriage and 12 other relationships that flat went wrong for WHATEVER reason. They were all but 2 lacking in something - commitment to me and to us. Most wanted me to be someone else - similar, but this trait or that HAD to go. They did - along with me. Two WERE committed to us - at least for a while. One changed that and cheated with two guys, the other lost her commitment, inexplicably at first. Later I found out she met a man who appealed to her more. I let him have her.
Now, my ULTIMATE goal now is to find Miss Right, and enjoy Miss Right Now for a while. And no, sex is NOT as important to me as most guys - friends are just spiffy with me. In fact, I think that would be better. (It might happen, and that would be fine. It might not, and that would be spiffy too.) But there will come a time with ONE lady (I hope) in which that physical contact WILL become important. When, yes, I want her more than anyone, and I want to be with her wherever I am. That is my ULTIMATE goal. And if I don't feel like she's sexy, if she doesn't stir my lions - er, loins, then she probably won't get laid by ME. She has to accept me for me, just as I accept others for themselves.
That is NOT to say that I would turn down sex from someone who DOES appeal to me physically. I AM male. I DO like sex. But she probably won't last if she's as willing to jump into bed with me the first or second date as I am to jump her. Sorry ladies, no disrespect intended - it has been MY experience that when that happens very early in a relationship, it usually doesn't last. It's like an 8X11 color photograph - it may be pretty to look at, but that's all there is - no talking, no playing, no interaction whatsoever. That wil turn ME off faster than her being less physically attractive - or, for those less than PC the plainer or uglier girls with a personality keep my affection and attention more than a beauty with none.
Basically, I want to have fun, whatever it may be in the context of the lady with whom I'm enjoying time.Whether it's fishing, roller coasters, rearranging her furniture, swimming or banging each other's brains out, I want her to have enjoyed her time with me. And I would HOPE that she would feel the same. If it becomes apparent that either of us isn't enjoying being with the other, I will give up after a while and turn her loose. If we are, then I will ensure we reap the rewards of our efforts, again, whatever they may be.
So guys, fuck up your relationships if you want - get laid and no more. I find her soul and her heart are what I want, not JUST her boobs, butt and bush. I want a lady who gives head and mind both!
Rock on!
Durham
