The "what ifs" "if onlys" and "should haves"
encroach upon my peaceful existence.
Memories from the past
flood my mind with unwelcome & unwanted images.
The feelings evoked are still as strong as the first. A mingling of conflicting emotions
fear…anger
love…disgust
loss…grief
These thoughts remind me of my past
choices
mistakes
regrets
and fill my mind with doubts
about the roads not taken.
I struggle to dismiss these intrusive memories
but they return to haunt my waking thoughts,
Cause me to wonder about my decisions and
make me question the present course. What emerges from these musings--a truth
"The past is just a part of who I am in the present."
Without the past--the joys and sorrows, the victories and losses.
I would not be where I am now
or who I am today. This understanding is cause for a celebration--
a ceremony to release the past and all the regrets.
Balloons to take away
the past--losses, missed dreams, and unfulfilled hopes
I look at these colorful spheres,
and place with them the old memories that taunt me.
Once released
they play with the wind
lingering to tease me
trying to hold on to the regrets.
Then swiftly aflight on a gust of breeze
carried on the wind.
With these balloons now messengers of my past
go the pain and loss
of memories
of dear ones lost
of love unreturned and unrequited
of the roads not taken.
As the balloons disappear from sight
With a welcome sigh, I am left
with a sense of peace and serenity
Ready to continue on the true path
The past banished
into the calm, blue skies above.
Now when memories of the past
try to intrude into my mind
and fill my head
with thoughts of regret.
I remember the vision of distant balloons dancing on the wind,
carrying away my past and my pain
disappearing into the blue skies above.
Reflecting, I am filled with peacefulness, contentment,
and a faith.
slgm 2006
