MeLiSsAMaRiE's blog: "relationships"

Me and my boyfriend broke up a month and a half ago.  Since then I have not heard from him at all.  I have tried to text him to see how he is doing and he ignores me.  I have never begged him to take me back, nothing like that, just hi how are you doing that sort of thing.  He told his mother what a great girl I am yet I am being ignored??  Anyone have some insight so I can understand this because I do not get it at all.  He broke up with me telling me he needed to fix himself that he has a lot of issues.  And he felt unhappy and if he was unhappy he can't make anyone else happy.  That was the reason of the break up.

I got a message from Anthonys mother telling me that his surgery turned out well and that he was ok, so I am relieved.  I was worried sick.  I could hardly eat or sleep I was so worried. She even said she wanted to meet me :)  Every few days I am going to send her a message asking her how her son is doing.  It's hard for me to just turn my back on someone I care about so much.  His mother seems like such an amazing lady.  She does so much for Anthony, more than my own mother would ever do for me.  It would be such an honor to meet her someday.  Anthony might complain aobut her at times but he adores her.  I do not know whats in the cards for us, but I do know I will be there for him regardless of our relationship status.

Anthony's surgery was today and I was a mess.  I can't eat, I can't sleep and I couldn't study for a test.  I sent him a text this morning telling him I was thinking of him.  I have lost 4 lbs in the last 6 days because I can hardly eat.  He is deeply depressed over all his health problems.  The last conversation we had keeps replaying in my mind.  He barely talked.  He kept telling me over and over again how sorry he was.  He was breathing so hard and loud that I asked him what was wrong with him.  I am hurting so bad and its not because he did anything to me.  I don't know how I am supposed to deal with this.  Its killing me that he is in so much pain. How do I deal with this.

I wasn't with my boyfriend for very long, 5 monthS but I cared about him so much and I wanted a future with us.  He broke up with me last night, told me he had too many things in his life going wrong and his life basically sucked and he needed to work on himself.  I was devasted, I didn't want to break up.  I don't understand.  We had NO drama, got along GREAT, never fought, had a few minor disagreements, but nothing major.  He was on my facebook page and I had in my status that I was heartbroken.  Well I was.  He didn't like my posts, which were not angry by the way, just posting I was heartbroken without going into details of why we broke up.  He deleted me and told me he had to let go of me for good.  I am so hurt and confused. What did I do to deserve this?  Its one thing to break up with me I can accept that but to just banish be from his life forever?  I did not cheat on him, I was a loyal and faithful girlfriend.  I was there for him when he needed to talk about his life.  Why did I suddenly get the boot? WHAT DID I DO????  We talked to each other about everything.  I considered him my best friend.  I feel like I lost my best friend.   It hurts soo bad.  We shared so much together.  How do I move on??  This hurts me so bad.  I just want someone to help me make sense of all this.

1.  the musky smell of his cologne that he always wears

2.  the way he kisses my hand as we are walking together hand in hand

3. his smart ass sarcastic sense of humor

4.  he never fails to call me to see how my day went, even though its never exciting or even interesting.

5.   the way he will spontaniously kiss me wether I am at my computer, we are walking through best buy or standing in line at disney.

6.  he will suprises me buy bringing me groceries or taking me some place I mentioned I wanted to go.

7.  the way he smiles at me

8.  he can be playful and hasn't lost the kid in him yet he can be serious when he has to be

9.  the way he curses at people in traffic LOL

10. he does things for me and never complains

I can go on and on all day LOL

My boyfriend  went to the doctors today, he has high blood pressure which he is taking medicine for.  He was getting the results of his blood work and it turns out he has a fatty liver.  Didn't know what that was till I looked it up now I am a little worried about him.  He is overweight but I dont care about that appearance wise but I do want him to lose weight so he will be around a lot longer.  He said he will try for the sake of his health.  I started crying thinking about what could happen.   I just hope everything turns out ok but I tend to think the absolute worse, ugh this sucks.