why are people so afraid to have a relationship?
I never understand why i can't find anyone who wants to have a relationship only people that are looking to hook-up, friends with benefits, have descrete affairs with no attachments. I think people are too hurt and damaged in the past and feel that no commitment will shield them from hurt but what about the other person maybe the other person went in for the same reasons but later some how developed feelings in every relationship even the most casual somebody becomes hurt in one way or the other.
No matter how many times I have been hurt or used I believe someday someone will love me back. I still have hope. i get so discourged and sometimes feel worthless, never will I be the one. I find it hard to be in love it takes me a very long time to get to that feeling, but I start to really like someone it ends and my heart sinks into self doubt.
I get alot of offers for sex but thats all.On the rare occation i will get a real date and the guy waits its usually no attaction on my part or its a big disappointment.
How can men and women today be so jaded so disconnected that they not opening they're hearts to the possibility of love. Is it economics, are we becoming so selfish, todays children are given such poor examples for parents, part time moms and dads, children who don't know they're daddy's, as much as we love our children they have no idea what commitment is with another person.
I know I am guilty of that myself I had my child out of wedlock but I was 32 I was alone and feared no one would ever want me except for a one night stand. I see her as my miracle. I shut down for 6 years devoted my self to be the best mother possible with out any regard for my self worth. considered my self ugly and damaged goods not worthy of being loved. Than I married the first fool that would have me believing eventually fall in love with him it didn't happen just made me sick inside and out. I lived 6 years without sex before my marriage and after 2 years I lived the last 3 years without it again I shut down. realized I still loved someone else someone I walked away from many years before because he didn't love me. That didn't stop me of daydreaming about him. Sad fact that I didn't really want to really see him it was a fantasy. So I stupidlly regained my sexuality with a old friend I had no intention of loving him it was about the sex but after 3 yrs I did and I was deeply hurt. to mask this hurt I began many liasons empty ones why, I gave up inside. After awhile I don't want that. Oh by the way sex can be the begining of a relationship and yes it can grow beyond just sex . Isn't that what brings two people together in the first place.
I want that. I want to give it a chance, I want to take the chance again with the risks. The possiblity of getting hurt again, hey people thats what makes us stronger thats being human. All I see now are a bunch of robots devoid of real emotion. Its a sad state.
I hate being called sexy. I find it demeaning. I want to seen as beautiful,lovely and me, someone who can offer alot of love, understanding, and compassion. I still believe in passion and romance.
I really want to know if there are anyone real out there. I want to hear from people who still has the hope that I have. ARE people out there who want the passion and romance and to love realisticlly and not in the fantasy sense but really with all the warts, frailities and pain that goes with it.
