Terran Nytefyer's blog: "Rantings, Ramblings, & Ruminations"

I want to talk to you for a bit about communication, in regards to a relationship.

I’m going to start off here by bragging, just a bit.  This isn’t something I do often - talk about the relationship my gf and I have - because, normally, it isn’t anyone’s business.  But, I’m going t o right now to prove a small point.  Just bear with me.

My gf and I have, for lack of a better word, an almost perfect relationship.  It’s due to the fact that we talk, we communicate.  About everything.  There are no secrets between us, really.  Now, I’m not talking about typical “secrets” like Christmas or birthday presents, or a surprise “Taking you out for dinner” type of thing.  Now, we probably both have little secrets about our pasts that we haven’t talked about (everybody has tiny little secrets).  But, if we haven’t talked about them, or if they haven’t been mentioned, it’s because they will not, and do not, affect our relationship with each other.  They’re not important to the relationship we have.

But, everything else, is pretty much open where we’re concerned.

I’ve noticed, that’s one major factor that causes too many problems with too many relationships - lack of communication.  People don’t seem to want to talk to each other, especially when they’re involved with each other.  This strikes me as, well, stupid.  Why, when you’re with someone, would you not talk to them?  Especially when it deals with your relationship, and things that will affect it?

People, it seems to me, become embarrassed when they’re upset with the person they’re involved with.  They also don’t want to “cause problems.”  You know what will guarantee a problem in your relationship?  Not talking.  Seriously.  If you can’t communicate your thoughts and feelings, your problems (or, should I say, if you refuse to communicate them) to the one you love … you are setting the relationship up to be doomed.

Now, granted, even with communication, some relationships don’t work out.  It happens.  Not everybody is “meant” to be together.  And not everybody is “meant” to be together “forever.”  But, by communicating, every relationship you have will be a bit better.

Honesty, in a relationship, is one of the most important things.  Hence, communication.  If something is bothering you - whether it’s about work, about little piddly things you’re thinking about, about something your love has done, even about a problem with the cat - talk to the one you’re with.  It’s not really all that difficult.  It’s as simple as saying, “Honey, this is what has been bothering me, and this is why I’m upset.”  And it can be done without screaming at one another, or cursing at one another.  Every couple fights - it’s part of being in a relationship.  But, by talking to each other, you can limit many of the big fights that you may have.  Hell, you can even limit many of the smaller ones, too.  Don’t lie, be honest, be truthful.  If you have a problem, talk about it.

Communication is a building block for any healthy relationship.  Even if that means, sometimes, talking about things that don’t always exactly make you comfortable.