As the New Year has arrived, I have taken time in this last week to reflect on my life... as it was in the past, as it now in the present, and where I want it to go in the future. I have made some wonderful friends in the past year, most of which were met in the online world of FuBar. I am most grateful that I have been blessed with so many true friends.
I have loved in the past year, and lost in the past year. I have dealt with many types of broken hearts... most of important was the broken heart I am trying to heal of my daughter. She is but only 10 and is so full of life and love to offer someone, not as a girlfriend or like that, but as a friend. Time will heal her wounds... :) This I am sure of.
My heart, is on the healing path, but with that comes many emotions. I will heal in time, although will never be the same. I could never look at someone the same. Talk to them the same. Never look to the future of what "WE" could become. If it happens, then it is meant to be, if not, no loss... Right? The pieces will come together I am sure, but a few will remain with him for always.
My sons, they are happy that the New Year has arrived. My baby is excited as he is now at his dad for his routine visitation for a bit, and we all look forward to his return home in the Spring. I can't wait for school to start. Life will be perfect then. My oldest, he is coping with the stresses of school, friends, Holiday passing, and being 11 going on 12, well... I am sure we are getting there. To the Girls... LOL. He is such a wonderful boy. Sweet, Quiet, and yet, Loud and Active! Hmmmm... sounds like his momma... maybe there is a hint of me in him somewhere... :) A mother can only wish for that.
My daughter, is all about friends, friends, boys a little, and more friends. Not to forget the many things she wants to be, like... a Vegetarian to protect animals from being killed for human consumption... (until she found out she wouldn't be able to eat most of her favorite foods like hamburgers... she doesn't like turkey burgers, she can't have ribeye or sirloin, or my dads spaghetti sauce which is loaded with ground beef). I give her credit though, she was willing to make that sacrifice, but changed her mind right now. :) I am waiting for it to come back up in conversation. She is so out-going and has such a personality, anyone could love her. She wants to do so much good, and doesn't even think that she is just one person and can't do it! I applaud her for that... however, we still need to work on her mouthiness... HEHE!!!
Myself, I am still working on the base. I am still looking for other employment that has better hours for me to be home in the evenings and weekends with my kids. I love my job, but need to find something a little more practical for my life as it being a single mother and limited on babysitters now. I keep pressing on and keep sending out my resume and crossing fingers. Wish me luck!!!
I am learning so much more about myself and in this last year, I have been tested many times on my strengths and mostly, my weaknesses. I have managed to pull through it all and will continue to face each test in life head on and full steam.
I have never been one for making New Year's Resolutions... as I could never keep them and follow through on them, so why make them in the first place to just get disappointed when I don't complete the tasks.
Hell... most of them would be along the lines that are so commonly used.. stop smoking, lose weight, find true love, be happy, go on that vacation I have been wanting to go on for 10 years and so on. Most of those I would love to do. I don't want to find true love though. I am not going to look for it. I am not going to hope or ask for it. If it happens, it will. I am tired of being disappointed in men and how a lot (not all of you guys.. but you have some bad apples) seem to think that messin' with a woman's heart is ok as long as you can feel good about yourself. So, when it happens, IF it happens, ok. I might take a chance, but don't get your hopes up is the key to survival. My kids are first in my eyes and no man will ever be able to compete with that and will never be able to come between that!!!!
Smoking... well... I hate smokin' but right now... I enjoy it to some level. Its something that is consistant in my life. :) I know... its my own version of justification for it... so let me have that moment.
My weight...well... I know I need to lose some weight, but I love the food I eat and I am usually too tired to walk or exercise other than chasing the kids around so I will get around to it.
So NO to resolutions and false hopes. Just everyday wants and desires. I will live with those.
I do propose to make this a better year than last. In some way, shape or form, it will be better, if only by a small degree.
I do however, wish all the BEST to ALL of my Friends and hope that ALL of their wishes, desires, wants and hopes come true in the New Year of 2008. I wish everyone the VERY BEST!!!!
With Much Love and Heart!!!!
~AngL~ 
