Redneck Firefighters
You might be on a redneck fire department if...
Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
Your firehouse has wheels.
You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.
You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.
That outhouse fire was with entrapment.
You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.
At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.
Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.
The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy.
Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.
Your apparatus has carbon monoxide detectors mounted in the cab.
You return from a fire with more junk than you arrived with.
The Chief's car has a rag for a gas cap.
You have tobacco spit stains on the side off your engines
