BUGZNUTZ PIMP ME OUT's blog: "redhead"

A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the redhead bartender, and asked her, "May I please use the restroom?" The redhead replied, "I really don't think you should." "Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use a restroom!" "Well, I don't think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there and she's only covered by a fig leaf!" "Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!" So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, "Miss, I, don't understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. Then the room became absolutely quiet. I went to the restroom, and now the place is hopping again." "Well, now you're one of us!" said the redhead. "Would you like a drink too?" "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled pastor. "You see," laughed the redhead, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless." With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother."

A redhead walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells, x-large condoms. He replies, "Yes, we do, would you like to buy some?" She replies, "No sir, but if you don't mind I'd like to hang out here until someone does."

Two sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a beautiful blonde. First sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a blonde?" Second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and see an even more beautiful brunette. First Sailor: Have you ever slept with a brunette?" Second Sailor" Why yes, in fact I've slept with brunettes on many occasions" They walk on a little further, and see a gorgeous redhead, who leaves the other two girls for dead. First Sailor:" Have you ever slept with a redhead then?" His companion looks at him and replies "Not a wink!"

Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A: Say something Q: If you love a Redhead, set her free ... A: If she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours. Q: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend? A: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails. Q: What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? A: Men always miss them. Q: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer? A: There's a hammer embedded in the monitor Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. Q: How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead? A: She unties you.

Q: What's the true definition of a blonde? A: Redhead with the fire of passion missing. Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer? A: Redhead won't accept a three and a half inch Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common? A: You've never had it so good and so fast. Q: What's safer: a redhead or a pirahna? A: The pirahna. They only attack in schools. Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A: Say something like "I'm one of those males who love redheads, great jokes." Q: How do you get a redhead's mood to change? A: Wait 10 seconds Q: Why aren't there any more redhead jokes? A: Someone told them to a redhead. Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? A: Normal Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A redhead!

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"