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Xuxa's blog: "Sex, Love n ???!"

created on 11/07/2006  |  http://fubar.com/sex-love-n/b22068

Red Flags

Please Let me know your thoughts on this! I encourage ALL women(this can go for men too), to learn the categories of dangerousness and to explore their own histories for clues to their personal relationship selection choices. Relationship Red Flags Include: - Does not respect your need for alone time - Pushes to see you even when you don’t want to - Discourages your outside interests, family, friends, and career relationships - Tries to isolate you from other relationships - Asks you to do things you are uncomfortable doing (ie, lying, loaning him money, sex, etc.) - Uses drugs or uses alcohol too frequently or abundantly - Frequent unemployment which he claims is never his fault - Frequent job changes due to being fired or dismissed that he explains away - Wants to control your hair, dress, behavior, friends, or job - Wants you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships for him - Has had multiple unsuccessful relationships - Known by others that he lies - You find out information you should have known about him - Physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually ‘rough’ or ‘weird’ - Too charming—has all the right lines and appears excessively smooth - History or previous diagnosis of mental illness especially: Untreated depression, un-medicated bipolar (previously manic depression), conduct disorder or anti-social personality disorder, Schizophrenia, narcissistic or borderline personality disorder - Unsuccessful treatment of substance abuse or PTSD - Has a criminal record of which these should be noteworthy: Recurrent speeding violations, DUI, assault on a female, battery of any kind, other assaults, any sexual offense, forgery/bad checks, dead-beat dad issues - He is inflexible and cannot change to meet a spontaneous request - The rules are for everyone else except him - Has problems with authority figures Extremely Dangerous Behaviors include: - Threatening to kill anyone or anything, even in passing - Assault on a pregnant woman - Forced sex in any capacity even with a known partner - Assault in front of other people - Violation of Court Orders or Restraining Orders - Stalking anyone for any reason - Repeat offenses of this list Women often stay in relationships that just aren't working is because of fear of being alone. Don't let that be you. These aren't the only questions you can ask yourself. If you can think of any way in which your significant other is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or - this is a big one - harm you physically or sexually, then it's time to get out, fast. Some women make excuses or misinterpret violence as an expression of love. But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy. No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything he or she doesn't want to do. The above are just a few key points to look out for in a relationship that is going bad. Always remember a healthy relationship should be uplifting and positive. Qualities like kindness and respect are absolute requirements for a healthy relationship.
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