It makes me hurt that they are not doing well. True, they left me hanging w/o a word of where I stand while my heart was trapped in their teeth, but I don't wish harm to come to them and I know that they are ruining their life. I have this theory that they fell in love w/some1 and were brokenhearted by that someone. I also strongly believe that my pain for him was equivalent to his pain for her. (It would be a longshot that it was love for me with the way I've been treated by this said individual). I think they are lost in translation and trying to find themselves. I am also on a quest to reconstruct the "unbreakable" shell which for so long I had mastered. It was a shock to me 1st of all that I was for once in my life rejected; and that second of all it was by someone I had strong feelings for. I had so strong of a barrier over me that when it was breaking down, I resisted it by clenching my jaw and my fists-but eventually my mental and physical strength could not withstand my hearts desire. JESUS, THIS IS THE SAPPIEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN OR SHARED W/ANYONE IN MY LIFE....and it just so happens that I am sharing it with millions of strangers. Oh well, what I had decided a while ago that I wanted to do, in order to keep this person in my life, was be their friend. We are almost better suited as friends because in terms of relationships I am only an apprentice compared to him. However, I find sex to be a veeeerrryyy interesting subject and I plan to learn as much about it as possible. I wish I still had my friend nearby because I miss their touch and their prescence. I may not be his, but I feel like he is my soul mate in a way. It is true that I had only known this person for a short time but in that time we had spent a lot of time together....Anyways, @ the very least I would like to be able to goof off and laugh with him again sometime and HOPEFULLY we could experiment the most incredible expression of freedom(lol I word things funny) again...a.k.a: SEX.........................................If not someday I hope Ill get over it and not give a fuck; but for now I want to grab a leather whip, some rope, and tie him down. I really think I could make them hurt sooo good....I hope they doesn't know this is about them
P.S: If you do....dadada your so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, your so vain, so vain....lol I am geeking so this is a little extreme writing but yeah the main gist is how I really feel
