i did not write this but had to sharre it  

Reasons Why I Haven’t Responded to your Message

1. You obviously didn’t even try to read my profile
-No, I’m not looking for a males who wants to worship my feet

2. You sent the same message to all of my friends
-We talk. Trust me

3. I actually can’t understand a thing you said
-mbe tlk smtym k?

4. You are a “photographer”. You want to take nude “pictures” of me.
-All your photos were taken with your phone

5. You sent a one word message
-sup…

6. Your profile pic is of your penis
-And it’s not very impressive

7. You mentioned your mother/children/pet goldfish
-I have all the daddy issues I’ll ever need, thank you

8. I have a bad feeling about you
-Also your only interest is “ax murdering”

9. You are in my town for one night only and want to meet up
-Refer back to #2

10. You want to blank my blank with your blank until it gets all blanky
-Go blank yourself

11. You want me to teach your girlfriend/wife/victim to be a kinky hot bi chick
-“Expecto patronus!”

12. I legitimately lost your message in all the crap I receive
-Refer to #1-11