Jonathan's blog: "Rants"

Ever wonder where the word SHIT comes from?

Certain types of manure used to be transported

(as everything was years ago) by ship.

In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water
(at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of
fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up

below decks and the first time
someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with
the term

"S.H.I.T" on them (which meant to the sailors) to "Ship High In Transit."

In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's

image was either sculpted or painted.  Some paintings of George  
Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back  
while others showed both legs and both arms.  Prices charged by painters  
were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many 
limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting 
them  would cost the buyer more.  Hence the _expression, "Okay, but 
it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

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         As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only 
twice a year (May and October)!  Women kept their hair covered,  while men 
shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs.  Wealthy 
men could afford good wigs made from wool.  They couldn't wash the wigs, 
so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in 
the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes.  The heat would make the wig 
big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig."  Today we often use the term 
"here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and 
wealthy.

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            In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room 
with only one chair.  Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the 
wall, and was used for dining.  The "head of the household" always sat 
in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.  
Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair  
during a meal.  To sit in the chair meant you were important and in 
charge.  They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man."  Today 
in business,
we use the expression or title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the Board."

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                 Personal hygiene left much room for improvement.  As a 
result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood.  The 
women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their 
complexions.  When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began 
to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's 
wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a 
smile."  In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax 
would melt .  therefore, the _expression "losing face."

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         Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the  front. A 
proper and dignified woman . as in "straight laced". . . wore a tightly 
tied lace.  

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         Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there 
was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to  
the "Ace of Spades."  To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 
cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were 
thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full 
deck."

Dave was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear
and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to
see a big black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices. I either
maul you to death or we have sex."

Dave decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Dave soon
recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the
black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a
huge
grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said "That was a huge
mistake, Dave. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we
have rough sex."

Again, Dave thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would
take several months before Dave finally recovered.

Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and
shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear
said "Admit it Dave, you don't come here for the hunting do you?"