Rants Blog by Bored Guy
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Bored Guy's blog: "Rants"

created on 11/17/2006  |  http://fubar.com/rants/b25543
..........Whiskey and Rant Time................. In this ever changing society a life of vice is often lamented but rarely pursued. This new century has given bloom to what germinated in the 80's and 90's. Pop culture, media hype, and the notion that someone somewhere in a position to make decisions for us, might actually know what is good for us. Who would think that those suit wearing, camera smiling politico's, if taken for the values of their actions would rank highest on the FBI's most wanted list and our own governing branches, Judicial, Legislative, and Executive would be the top 3 organizations on any gang unit. Yet, these people are supposed to tell us what is good for us and how we should depict ourselves. Wait, I'm sorry, I lied, I forgot, those guys have as much pull on society as a limp wristed cerebral palsy patient jerking off. No, Capitol Hill simply has a vast money hole in its pocket and a military might intimidates yet scares no one. When it comes to herding sheep, as is the case these days, look to the other coast for the shepherds, Hollywood, L.A. All those sights and sounds flowing through your stereos and across your TV screens are the shepherds hook, and they just keep yanking, sheering more wool off your backs as if it was the money in your wallet, or is it? The black sheep, us who wear convention as a torn, tattered, burnt bathrobe doused in the gasoline of sin and set ablaze by the heat of our actions, they still exist, just as they did 230 years ago, we just don't dress the same. Nor did they in the 60's and 70's, but the same motivation was there, to defy the rules and make a change. Change is good, without it Darwin would have been a single celled amoeba replicating with himself. I say this, a call to arms, to defy a defunct stagnant system whose direction will surely lead to A Brave New World of 1984, let us crank our music so loud they can't hear us, and then let our voices be heard. Spike the punchbowl at their parties and when they get drunk find out what they really think. Hell, whatever it is, do, let people know, that beneath the shiny veneer, the velvet cloth, that there is a filthy world of inspiration and freedom. "A Drunken person's words, Are a Sober person's thoughts" BTW, I do know I'm using a communication medium used by the same people I just denounced. Remember, it originally a device to convey thoughts and Ideas as I have. Nit picking motherfuckers..................
It's that time again. Sitting here with a bottle of Jose tonight, Turkey's all gone. And what's on my mind tonight.................Nothing, blissful nothingness. It's partially why I drink, calms the mind, clears it of all the goings on. Alcohol is a great equalizer, better than mister Colt's pistol. Lowers ones inhibitions and allows one to say and do what one really wants to do. People want a world of truth, where no one lies and everything is laid upon the table, these same people mostly hate drunks and people of the drinking culture and bar society. You would figure they would be natural allies. Drinkers and drunks are the truest and most honest people you can meet. They won't lie or hold anything back. They can't, they have no inhibitions, it has been numbed like an anesthetic. But what they truly seek to say and do is against the social norm. It is depraved and carnal. It is the rawest form of animal instinct, feed, fight and fuck. This is what it does to us, some have tendencies toward more than one urge than the other, angry drunks like to fight, horny drunks will sleep with what is ever out there and hungry drunks will eat anything regardless of taste almost. So what do you make of people who maintain a woeful stigma around drinking? They simply seek to repress their truest desire in order to conform to someone elseís expectations. They arenít being true to themselves, I know this from first hand experience, I have seen the calmest and pacifist person pick a fight with the biggest S.O.B. in the bar and lose, but be happy about it. I have seen a prudish marriage oriented woman turn into a sex fiend with no end(Still is to this day, and regrets she waited so long) and the healthiest, nutrition oriented woman break down and eat a Monster cheeseburger with all the toppings and bacon. How you may ask, have I seen this if they were so set upon their ways? I will not lie, unlike then when I did. I used subterfuge and deceit to introduce the drink slowly to them. It was wrong and it was despicable, but so was denying themselves what they really wanted. I admitted it to them after and none has ever hated me for it. The simple truth is that some hide who they are, some follow trend and culture, and the others, the truly happy onesÖÖÖÖ.donít give a flying fuck. So ask yourself two questionsÖÖÖAre you happy?..................Are you being true to yourself? Then look at your friends and ask the same question. Will they be at your side forever? Well, Iím done for now. Read, Enjoy, then join me at the bar for some drinksÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
Drop the Hammer. Jump on it. Haul Ass. It doesnít matter what you use or say. They all mean the same thing. Take all that energy inside you and transfer it to your machine. Causing you and it to eat up asphalt like a drug crazed addict popping pills like Pez. Speed freaks know what Iím talking about. The battle to keep it between the lines. The redline on the far right of your tach and the ever stretching line to your left running down the road. Outside those lines all your cares and worries blur with the world around you and everything rushes past and is left behind. Inside those lines you slow down, your focus becomes crystal clear. Itís aimed directly in front of you, seeing everything coming your way and passing it, putting it behind you. Itís one place in your crazy life that you can escape all the things around you. In that place away from the cares and worries of the world it should be said that you are not actually alone. You have fear with you. And in between those lines itís a stand off between you and it. Who will blink first? You know it wonít be you. If you blink while youíre between those lines itís over. Itís the gas in your soul fueling you as if it were the octane in your tank. Then thereís the rush, that boost of nitrous oxide to your system, the adrenaline. It kicks in and it kicks in hard. Itís a continuous 150 shot to your core with an endless bottle. Fear and adrenaline, better than caffeine and nicotine. When your body courses and rages with that inside, all you can do is scream for more, more, more. Hell, your probably shivering in withdrawal from it as you read this. Itís that twitch. That urge that drives us to put our lives and machines on the line for that short blind rush of madness. Iím not talking about racing through traffic on the freeway or city streets, thatís cafť racing, street fighting, a whole different breed of exhilaration. Iím talking about some back road twisties, 2A.M. or 5P.M., doesnít matter. What matters is hitting those curves with a leaned over haymaker sending sparks into the eyes of anyone watching. Pulling out of that turn and landing the knock out punch with a fistful of throttle that lays down the road in front of you like an asphalt carpet. You stare into the horizon of your life, destiny, whatever you see over that hill, with a take it as it comes, fuck you if you canít handle it attitude. Now stop reading this shit like itís going to define who you are, who fucking cares. Get out there and RIDE!!!!!!
Yado all, it's whiskey and Rant time. The Single urinal vs the trough. Who shall win? This is the shit I think of when I take a piss in the bathroom. On the one hand a trough is bigger and allows for multiple guys, but the urinal has privacy. A trough you ainít got to worry about flushing but with a urinal, who says you gotta flush? A urinal you some times gotta watch out for that little splash and in a trough you have to watch out for someone elses splash back. You know what, I think next time Iíll walk outside and piss in the gas tank of that guy who just cock blocked me. Zado, and screw that guy.
Who likes to text message? Why, it's a phone, not a miniature laptop. Call the person, it only takes 10 digits, 10 presses of the keypad. And even if you're just saying hi, after all you got to go through to send it it’s still easier to call. If chats what you want, log on and use the internet, bigger keys, bigger screen, webcams for some. But a phones a phone, reach out and call someone.
I'm getting a little sick of being called an alcoholic, for all you alcoholics out there, good on you. But I'm not an Alcoholic, I'm a drunk, Alcoholics got Twelve steps, I got twelve packs. And I do admit I have a drinking problem, I can't afford it all the time(donations welcome.) But I don't suffer from alcohol, I enjoy every minute of it, and I know that booze isn't the answer, but it helps me forget the question. So all you people out there recovering AA's, congratulations, cheers, this ones for you, for all you people that caused 'em to stop drinking, cheers, now there's more for me, and for everyone else, stop on by my place sometime and have a drink, CHEERS!!
Conspiracy theories. Who shot JFK, The Da Vinci Code, Freemasons, Illuminati, whatever, choose your flavor, whatever floats your boat. These people are finding ciphers in ancient texts and parchments, secret codes and what not, guess what, I can take a Clifford book and using complex techniques find a passage that says "Clifford is the commie mascot. This message brought to you by Marxism and it's affiliates" And for these people finding symbols inside geography, placement of buildings, structures and landmarks? Give me a graph chart as big as big as the earth and I'll find one too, guess what, it'll be a big smiley face complete with a "Fuck You". But who am I to say if they're wrong or right, I mean after all they have hour long specials and I'm sitting here drinking whiskey and ranting. But I got a conspiracy theory for you, maybe just maybe, these guys just need to get laid. Hmmmmm, interesting.
I'm gonna get a pedometer, you know, one of those little watches that tells how many steps you've taken? I want to take one of those and strap it to my cock, that way I can tell how many thrusts I've taken and how fast. I can see it now, looking down and saying "Baby, either we're going a hundred strokes a minute or it's one o'clock. I can't tell"Ě Also if you do it over time you can find out just when she's gonna pop and time it just right for that final push, now ladies, wouldn't you like that?
I was watching TV smoking a cigarette the other night and one of those Truth commercials came on, and I've got to tell you something, I don't care about big tobacco business, I know they sell a deadly product, I still use it, all these Truth commercials do is take away three minutes of air time I could be looking at some scantily clad woman on some other commercial. I know cigarettes are bad for me and I still smoke 'em, why? Because it's quick simple bliss, hell, if sex was as easy to get and the orgasm lasted as long I'd probably kill myself doing that to.
In my last rant I talked about free will so now I'm gonna create my own set of crimes, like hate crimes or sex crimes, except my branch of crimes is going to center around your ability to do whatever it is you want, I'm going to call them free will crimes. Anything you do, that goes against natures plan, smoking, drinking, fucking with a condom on, and so on. So if you commit free will crimes, turn yourselves in to my court of free will and you shall be acquitted.
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