DJ Shadow walker TBR's blog: "Rants"

You know the ones I am talking about, the people that dumb warning labels have been written for.  You know the warning label too, like do not use a blow dryer in the shower, the warning on a coffee cup about the contents being hot, OR my favorite in the manual of a chainsaw I own, "Do not attempt to stop the blade with hands or genitals."

 

These people are a menace to themselves and others.  They should be put in places where they cannot harm anyone or harm themselves.

 

Some examples of people who are terminally stupid but often over looked are:

1)  Surfers who use short boards in great white infested waters.  Look, a surfer paddling a short board looks like a big fat seal to a great white, great whites eat big fat seals, so they see a surfer on a short board, they are going to take a bite.

2) People who jog on trials clearly marked as "Jog or Hike at own risk."  There is a reason for this warning, there is probably a predator known to be in the area which will very likely chase down a runner and attack them.  I have news for you people, predators are wired to chase down anything that is running, to them it is food.

3) Finally, the people who seem to think that they should turn on a turn signal IMMEDIATELY before they make a turn and slam on their brakes coming to a complete stop before making the turn when they have the right of way.  Any driver that rear ends them gets the ticket.

 

Of course there are others, like people who free dive with sharks that are known man eaters, the people that speed up to pass you and then as soon as they do, slow down to a crawl making you hit the brakes.

 

We should work to incarcerate these people and make the world safer for the rest of us.

 

Dont get me wrong, I do think that an animal that has attacked a human is a danger and needs to be put down.  I am talking about mountain lions, bears, wolves etc.  Once an animal has killed a human, it will again.

Usually predators attack people when they are too old, sick or injured to hunt their normal prey.  There is another reason that they hunt people, their normal prey are no longer there.

Now, if a county or state sets up trails in areas KNOWN to be the habitat or hunting grounds for a predator, then they should be liable for any attacks on people.

If a real estate developer builds a housing development in an area that is the habitat for a predator, they should make an attempt before building to relocate the predator, OR should be liable if one of the people that buy a house in the development is attacked.

There are subdivisions that have been built that have directly impacted the habitat of bears, mountain lions, and other predators.  Then people get upset when these animals are seen roaming the streets.

 

Wake up people they were there first.  We have invaded their habitat, and now they have no place to go.

It has taken me months to get my room to smell like a good old fashioned poker den. Months of cigarettes, cigars. And tonight, I had to bow to the majority in the house and shampoo the carpet. Now I have to start all over. However, it has given me an idea, an air freshner that smells like a poker den or even a good old honky tonk bar. I would get rich.

A friend of mine just got a royal screwing by a girlfriend. He knows who he is, so names arent important. However, and ladies, I can only speak from a male's point of view, but, I have heard this crap more times than I care to remember, IN FACT, these lines seem to be so cliche, that it is downright f*cking ridicules! Personally, I figure, if these were true, you would have figured it out before the relationship got too involved, and if you didnt, by god, you really need to consider going into a convent, monastery, nunnery, or some place where you have no contact with the outside world. Alright, here is the famous drop you like a plague victim lines.... 1) You cant give me what I need. Meaning: I have been screwing a guy behind your back, what do you think of that dumbass? 2) Its not you. Meaning: It is you, everything about you. 3) I need my space. Meaning: I am sick and tired of you and I want to screw someone else without feeling guilty. 4) You are too demanding. Meaning: IMO you are a overbearing asshole without a sensitive bone in your body. Problem: Most of the guys that get told this one are the 'spoil your ladies to death types." 5) You are insensitive. Meaning: You dont like romantic comedies. 6) You are uncaring. Meaning: You answer my stupid questions honestly. 7) You dont support me. meaning: your income is not to my standards. 8) All you think about is you. meaning: So you can get a better job 2000 miles a way with more money, I like it here, and if you really loved me, you wouldnt take it. 9) I dont know who you are anymore. meaning: as with everything, you did not remain stagnant and grew and changed while I stayed a blood sucking bitch. And finally, the all time winning dump line... 10) You need to grow up. meaning: we had some laughs but now I want to find a person who is predictable. You think I am bashing women, maybe so, but it seems strange that every time I or friends of mine have heard these lines, the lady doing the dumping has another guy within weeks, or announces an engagement a week after leaving. Now then, for all the females of the world of dubious parentage, moral character, ethics, and questionable species identification, just remember, Karma. For all my female friends that are not like this, if you know a woman who is this kind, do us guys a favor, spit in her eye, she is making it hard for the women who want good guys to get one, we have gotten gun shy.