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Lonely Heart's blog: "Rantings"

created on 03/18/2008  |  http://fubar.com/rantings/b199187

Educational

I see a much greater problem! Society's "NORM" does NOT exist! Never did! Normal = Average, Average = a calculation invented long ago. Normal is a calculation that no individual person is. Some may come close to it, but there is no one that is the actual normal/average of anything! Society fears what it does not understand, there for those that live to the extreme of life do not understand those that live the conformed life. Fear manifests into hate! Those that fear something they do not understand either try to understand it or hate it. Which are you?

Bag of BS

trustme2te...: remeber me hun ->trustme2te...: yeah trustme2te...: thought u said i coudl see the hidden pics now? ->trustme2te...: i re-blocked them for most people... too many weird requests and disrespect trustme2te...: i never got to see them ->trustme2te...: sorry trustme2te...: thanks whatever trustme2te...: i just love people that say one thing and do another ->trustme2te...: don't catagorize me, if people weren't so nasty I wouldn't have my photo's private trustme2te...: u can let me in for a mintue u did say i coudl see them ->trustme2te...: Ok here's one, just for shits and giggles since you are being so harsh on me... why should you see my private folders when you don't even have a pic of yourself up? trustme2te...: i told u i could share on yahoo ->trustme2te...: and why not here? trustme2te...: not here for the points but i see u say somethign and u cant fololwo thourgh ->trustme2te...: you know, i'm not usually like this but fuck off, I don't like your attitude and imidiate degridation of me because you didn't get what you wanted when you wanted it . trustme2te...: u siad it over a week ago trustme2te...: thats b.s. what would u call it if i treated u that way ->trustme2te...: i opened it over a week ago ->trustme2te...: I would call it the internet trustme2te...: called bullshit what do u not keep your word in the real life eiether trustme2te...: go ahead blcok me since u are a liar trustme2te...: shows what type of person u are in real life u cant keep yoru wor dnwo and u dont in real life ->trustme2te...: congradulations to be the first and only member I have ever blocked! Wow! what I would call really childish and throwing a temper tantrum, all cause he missed out on when my private folders were open. He doesn't even have any pictures of himself up just one main photo of some scenery. His full fubar name is : trustme2teaseu Have fun with him!
Well like I need a kick to the teeth I get the news of what I'll be making after shelling out 12 grand for education. How lame is it that I was worth 11/hr before college and now I'm worth 9/hr. Not even enough to survive with two kids. How is this freaking possible that after all this I'm no better off than I was?

Damn Insecure Ppl

I can't stand those jealous people! Insecurity is so not attractive. Why is it that when I show the wild, open side no one can handle it? When can we be who we really are? Someone has to throw shit in our faces. Well guess what I'm a sexy woman who is also intelligent and open. I know a little about a lot of different things and I like it that way. I like my body, yea for once a woman who likes her body. Well to all those out there who must pick at the imperfections: No one is perfect! There is no such thing as "normal!" Normal is a calculation, its the average of everyone therefor cannot exist! If you don't like your body, then you don't like yourself, if you don't like yourself your screwed... Cause guess what your stuck with yourself. There is no escape from yourself, not even death can release you. Part of life is learning who/what you are and accepting yourself as you are. And no matter your beliefs in the end of eternity or the next life, your still stuck with yourself. So to all of you out there: Get over yourselves and move on!

Smoking

I was a pack a day smoker. When it got down to five or less cigarettes and I had no way to buy more, I would have a full fledged panic attack. I even had that attitude as some point that: 'hell, we're all gonna die some day, I might as well choose how.' Up to the point where I was laying in the hospital with multiple Pulmonary Embolisms (blood clots) in both lungs. I looked over at my 4 and 6(at the time) year old kids and realized that I had the wrong idea. All it would take is one of those things to move to my heart or brain and I would be dead. No warnings. My kids would be without a mom. For that matter, without anyone since I am all they have. I was in pain every day, breathing was so difficult to do. I spent 3 days in the hospital getting daily shots of blood thinners. I even had to give them to myself when I got out of the hospital. Once I was home I still had a hard time breathing, and so little energy. It hurt so much they had me on narcotics to get through the days. I used every ounce of energy I had to feed my kids and to try to get them bathed. I went 3 weeks without my own shower cause I had no energy to do it after I took care of the kids. No one stopped by to check on us. Even when the blood clots cleared up I went into a depression. I was over the cigarettes at that point. Now, it was facing how alone my kids and I actually are. This whole thing took over 6 months to be able to work again. It took over a year to be taken off of the blood thinners. Now I am told that I cannot have anymore children. I also am not allowed to take hormone based birth control. So here it all leads back to smoking and how we really want to die. Just a thought the next time anyone wants to light up!
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