this part here was copied from a person who left it as a bulletin and it really ticked me off. my responce is alittle lower.
"i got this from dear abby and thought some of my friends should read this. for some it is too late but either way here you are.
ARE YOU READY FOR PARENTHOOD?
(1) Can you support the child financially? Children are expensive. I always urge people to complete their education and delay parenthood until they are self-supporting, in case they should find themselves in the role of sole provider.
(2) Can you support the child emotionally? Babies are cute, but they are also completely helpless and emotionally needy. While some young women say they want a baby so they'll have someone to love them, the reality is it's the parent's responsibility to love and sacrifice for the child. In plain English, this means the end of a normal teenage social life because babies are extremely time-consuming.
(3) Are you prepared to be a consistent parent? Children learn by example -- both good and bad. Are you prepared to be a role model for the behaviors you want your child to mimic? Because mimic they do. They learn more from what they observe than what they're told.
(4) Have you read up on child development? Are your expectations of what a child should be able to accomplish as he or she reaches various chronological milestones realistic? Ditto for your partner, whether or not he or she is the child's biological parent.
(5) Are you prepared to put someone else's needs before your own for the next 18 to 21 years? Remember, babies can't be returned to the manufacturer for a refund if you're not 100 percent satisfied. Sometimes they come with serious challenges. Can you cope with those realities?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, I strongly advise postponing parenthood."
this was my responce to the post
so there are some things i would like to say before i get off my boyfriends myspace account. first congrats to all those who have kids you took on allot. and for those of you who have great job investing yourself in something that will be a part of your life for the rest of your life. remember if you are looking at having children you will never be completly prepared. there are things that happen to you only when you have a child that you could never in your wildest imaginings prepare yourself for.
1.) on the finacial end of child rearing.there is no way to say maybe your child starts off life with a good start because you have a good job but then something happens and that good job is no longer there and you are left to scrimp and save to get by or take on the gov help. or in an even more terrible position your child is sick allot forcing you to travel back and forth to the hospitol everyday making it hard to find a job to allow you to be there with your child or if you do have one work the hours nessasary to make a decent living. not to even count the amount of money you have to pay to even have you child treated. and that is a real threat to allot of families regardless of finacial or educational status.
2.)then we get to the emotion aspect of child rearing. yes there is allot to say about the worries and emotions that come with having a baby. good and bad. there are many times i think about the terrible things that could happen to my child just by being under the age of 2 a preemie and half afican american. she is more likly to die of sids than a full term white baby is. and there is nothing i can do about that. then there is the constant emotional neediness that comes with babies. it is true there is limited time for mommy or daddy but when you look at your child there is no dought in your mind how worth the wakful nights the headaches from crys and all the other stresses baby brings that this is the most wonderful thing in the world that you could never dream of creating. so emotional stressfull and hard yes but worth every last second of crying and sleeping and pooping there is in that wounderful critter.
3.)the constant parent. kids do learn by example and no matter what you should always be improving and growing as a person weather or not you have children. if you are an ass who oversteps the boundries of good taste constantly not doing it in front of your children dosnt make you a good parent or a decent person for that matter. children learn from example that is true the one thing that is the most important to teach is that people make mistakes and it is up to us to forgive and teach our children to forgive and to grow above past mistakes.
4.)every child developes differently. my child being born so much earlier than most is not expect to meet the milestones at the same time as most children but she does and she has done some of them as early as a month before even a full term baby. now is that to be expected on each one? no and i know that there is no direct 100% guide to exactly when a child should do what kids do. everyone is different sometimes because the child is alittle behind or that the parent is alittle behind too.
5.)and last but not least no person should be expect to put the needs of there children first 100% of the time always and forever. if you dont take care of you you cant take care of little you. that is one of the truest and hardest things to do. when amara first came home i did and did and did for ever little need i thought she may have and i just got more and more and more depressed. you have to find that healthy balance between your happiness and your childs. challenges come on a daily basis especially with a new born and you can never ever be completly prepared for what life gives you. there are hard times and times you waste on worries there are sad times and oh god i hope she makes it times. i could have never been prepared for all the time that amara spent in the hospitol or the feelings i had of self preservation while she was still in the womb. i remember at first being scared for myself with the doctors telling me that i could at any time have a stroke loose my life and the babies at this time i felt as though i didnt care about amara i just wanted to live to see another day. then there was the sudden c section due to the rapid decline in my kidney and liver functions starting the beginging of the end of me. the precautions and possible outcomes of the c setion. possible paralysis death to me possible death to the baby. then after all that there was the worries of amara when i was finally in the clear. she may possibly live for 3 days most babies her gestational age due but after the "honeymoon" period there could be major complications and a good chance she could not make it. then there was the decision of the pic line that travels up one of the main arteries of the arm and into the heart. this of course would be beneficial to getting her the proper nutrition since she is not at an age that her stomach can process food. again the risks of this is infection if there is some contamination it would get right into her blood stream and directly to her heart. now i remember this so well because i thought to myself what if and what if she dies it will have been my decision to allow that to happen. i was making a decision on another human life on one so closely linkek to mine so that is a summary of a very few worries and emotions i had within the first 24hours of being a new mom. was i prepared no and if it happened agian would i feel different honestly i dont think i would. but you would never know unless youve been there so again good job and congrates to all those moms and dads that try there best everyday. as a very wise and unprepared to have me mom told me sarah it is never easy but it does get easier.
