K, so I wrote this little rant years ago, but I think that it still and always will have merit and explains part of me, so here we go
I hate this world. That may be a bold statement, but not without merit. There is so much bullshit floating in this sea of filth that it is hard to breathe. The only way to stay afloat and survive is to climb aboard the least repulsive piece of shit and drift along; essentially becoming part of the shit. I can not and will not accept this. I believe there is a way to get through life without succombing to the shit. I am not saying that there is no good in the world, it is just very hard to find. I have very good and special friends, which is probably what has kept me from jumping ship and drowning. But I am finding more and more recently that many that act like true friends are anything but. There are a few true 100% ones out there. Not that even the good is perfect, it also has its demons. I am in love with one of my very best friends, adn I don't know what to do about it. Even the good has its drawbacks and limitations. I have decided to grow up and tate responsibility for myself so I can be a better person. That's not to say that I have decided to conform to society's shit standard, just that I've decided to get rid of the shit that I add to the sea. Until I do that all I am is a hypocrite and have no room to complain if I am shittin' in the stream as much as everyone else. But if, or should I say when, I am not contribuiting to the fecal matter, I will have every right to bitch. I know I can't change things, because to flush the toilet would be to destroy the world and start over. Which isn't a bad idea in theory, but that would destroy the good in it too; like my friends and the few things I do love, and the few people like myself who would love to fight back. Who is to say the new world would be better though? It could be worse. So I will have to sit back, try not to shit in the stream too much, and be totally useless.
