Often I find my thoughts are not contained and concise. My stream of conciousness is more a raging river, rather than a winding a easy flowing stream. Why must there be so much struggle to simply clarify a thought? Such random behavior certainly fosters a high likely of self doubt. For those of you who think I am some cocky, self righteous, conceited bitch - you could not be farther from the truth. In all reality, I am flawed beyond belief and fail at every turn. The self loathing could not be more crushing. I am my own defeat, the sole responsible party to my lacking. There is often great disparity between what we present publicly and true self. So when you see me in the mumms, judging harshly, it is merely frustration. There is far more to me than some chick that writes outlandish things for shock value. Uncontrolable and consuming to this I resign my fate, being misunderstood is all too common.