As I sit here somewhere between the realms of sheer exhaustion and dark lucidity, I find myself being taken to place I rarely like to visit. Why does my mind take me to these dark places in the presence of exhaustion. Is it beacuse in the deep caverns of my mind I know it is only in the face of exhaustion that I let down all defenses and willing go? Or is it because my mind knows that the darkness that lives deep in my soul needs a outlet from time to time? Why do these dark things fascinate and attract me so? Why do i torture myself with futile feelings like embarrassment for these thoughts? It is somewhere in this darkness I find light. A light that illuminates my soul like lightening on a pale midnight sky. I fear this darkness will be a part of me forever but what i fear most is that this darkness will someday go away. Torn between darkness and light I find myself forever spinning and praying for there to be something there to catch me when i fall. Perhaps someday i will dwell deep into my soul and seek out the darkness that haunts me so, but for now I fear i shall I only be contented with the thoughts that pulse through my dark lucidity.