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What are you waiting for?
Why do i tear myself apart? Forgoing happiness, Ignoring my heart.
Foolish pride steering a foolish mind, Forcing me to leave logic behind.
Thoughts of suffering and thoughts of fear blur into one another, My thoughts are unclear.
Through a haze of confusion I sit and cry, Wishing I'd let those thoughts slip by.
By paying them no attention, Paying them no heed, I wouldn't have perpetrated that foolish deed.
Now I'm left alone with my anguish and pain, Until a small ray of light can be glimpsed once again.
In this world you have two things to worry about:
Whether you are rich, or whether you are poor.
If you are rich you have nothing to worry about.
If you are poor you have two things to worry about:
Whether you are healthy, or whether you are unhealthy.
If you are healthy you have nothing to worry about.
If you are unhealthy you have two things to worry about:
Whether you will live, or whether you will die.
If you live you have nothing to worry about.
If you die you have two things to worry about:
Whether you go up, or whether you go down.
If you go up you have nothing to worry about.
If you go down you'll be too busy catching up with old friends you won't have time to worry anymore.
Pain...that is a word which could be used to describe the time from the moment you're born until the moment you die, life is a string of pain intermingled with a string of happiness, if we were to foresee our lives and see the pain we will suffer throughout our existence a lot would choose to end it from the moment it started, but to not live through each spell of pain to see the spells of joy would be a tragedy, because the joy we experience throughout our lives whether it be based in love, or other ways is enough to outweigh the pain
Why do experiences in our pasts dictate the paths of our futures?
Why do we cling to things that hurt us?
Why do we poison our hearts, minds and souls with hurt?
Do our memories alter our perception of reality?
Do we alter our memories of the past to fit them into our present?
To alter our memories is to deny ourselves the truth
The truth is what will set your heart, mind and soul free
You.....
You are a memory, a mental reflection of what once was
an image in the psyche of a face, the sound of a voice
i hear no words, i don't need to, i've heard them before
the long conversations into the night, about hopes, fears,the past and the future
the hopes that never came real, the future that no longer exists
a different future will come true
a different future for me to the future that becomes real for you
I have a hope for the future, one just for you
that your fears will remain unrealised and that all your hopes and dreams come true
why are we compelled to love?
what is it about this most dangerous of emotions that attracts each and every one of us?
why do we long to feel the emotions?
why do we expose ourselves to the heartache of rejection?
why do we allow ourselves to be drawn into a situation that could tear us apart?
why do we crave the feeling that love brings?
are these feelings and emotions worth the potential risk?
the risk of being drawn into a warm sense of belonging only to be pushed out into the cold of loneliness.
is the feeling of being loved worth the pain of being hurt?
the feelings of foolishness, of self doubt.
the feelings of worthlessness and the pain of sorrow.
there are so many types of love, the love of a partner, the love of a child, the unconditional love of a parent, the love shared between friends, the love of a possession or the love of a pet.
it can be the most wondrous feeling in the world to be loved, and the most painful too.
we all search for love in one way or another, but who knows if the love we find is ever true?
Standing staring through the blinds at a sunlit clear blue sky
In a world of darkness held behind the eyes
watching people passing by going about their daily lives
Standing lost inside the mind dwelling on what was left behind
Memories of days gone by of laughter shared and teardrops cried
Wishing there were no tears just lots of laughter free of fears
Regretting things that came to pass to bring the laughter to its last
Remembering things that were said in haste leaving the tongue with a sour taste
Feeling an emptiness in the soul a sensation of falling down an endless hole
In the grip of a sorrow so intense it seems like it will never relent
The sorrow builds in strength and wells within
It leaves the soul and attacks the mind leaving a streak of pain in its wake
It reaches the mind its purpose clear an attack to the senses to bring forth tears
A fight ensues behind the eyes a battle of emotions from deep inside
The body shakes from head to toe as the pain administers it's final blow
The shoulders hunch the fists bunch and the tears start to flow
Loneliness is a painful thing
it will consume you from within
you'll question yourself and your personal worth
you'll feel like you're the only person on earth
there'll be a feeling of emptiness in your soul
you'll feel like you're incomplete and you'll never be whole
life will start to feel like a chore, you'll question getting out of bed and going out of the front door
you'll walk the streets and see people walk by, you'll long for them to stop and say hi
you'll crave the companionship of having a friend to have someone to talk to, to help your heart to mend
there's only one way to keep loneliness at bay, embrace other people, don't push them away
a piercing scream breaks the silence!
there are no signs of a struggle, no signs of violence
he looks around bewildered and confused
was it a trick of the imagination? some sort of mental ruse?
he stops and ponders, then ups, and wanders, searching for the source.
where did it come from? a cry uttered with such force.
he sits on the groud and tries to clear his mind.
a silent meditation looking for an answer from inside.
in his trance-like state he sees his own desires, laid out before him on the landscape of his soul.
in his mind he stands alone, he sees a path ahead, should he stand and should he walk, or should he heed the dread?
in his mind he makes a decision, he will stand and explore this vision.
he rises on legs of lead, his footsteps sap his strength,
he starts to walk along the path of undecided length.
as he walks he passes things he has seen before, people he has met, places he has been, all appear like he has opened an invisible door.
he walks past the terrors of his youth,confused emotions of his childhood now laid out and he sees the truth.
the things he held in his mind so fearfully now dissolve into the wastes, he remembers nothing but the joyous occasions, all the scents, visions and tastes.
he moves forward in the vision, his footsteps getting lighter as in his mind his memories are getting brighter.
he comes to his first love, he blushes at the emotions, how alien it seems to him now, so innocent, unsullied, unbroken.
the first kiss, the first touch, the first little fumble, the embarrassment, the joy, the first "i love you" he ever mumbled
he turns from that memory and soldiers on, his legs feeling lighter and lighter, like a massive weight is gone.
he comes to a dark patch, it wreaks of fear and sweat, he stands at the edge of the shadows and hesitates to move forward, what is this place?
he takes a deep breath and swings his feet, into the darkness he goes, he feels a coldness envelope him from his head down to his toes.
he hears in his mind every scream he has ever uttered, his heart has lost it's lightness, it is suddenly cluttered, cluttered with darkness and feelings of hurt.
he looks back to where he has just been, and wonders why there was no middle ground, no inbetween.
he tries to recall the feelings, he felt just moments ago, but they are not there, he turns around once more, but the path behind is now gone, he is enclosed in the darkness, alone and confused.
he sits in the gloom and dwells, on all that surrounds him, the darkness, the pain, the abuse.
he sees no way forward, he sees no way back
all that surrounds him are emotions cold and black.
he slowly shrinks into himself, he tries to shut the darkness out, he wants to feel the warmth of before, the warmth and the light. he closes himself to the outside world to live inside his mind, he sits in darkness on the sunniest day. he doesnt see anything and he doesnt hear, the only thing to escape him is one solitary tear.
