Misti's blog: "~Random Thoughts~"

Unspoken words Actions refrained Thoughts remembered of Souls embraced Hearts melted into nothingness Hot bodies turned stone with coldness Extremes are all I ever really feel That’s why I wait for you You take me to the extremes I want to feel

Dismantle me Skins to bones I want to feel you take a hold of me I want to feel it all Dismantle me Heart to soul I want to feel you take all there is of me You’ve left nothing of the true me anyway . . . so just dismantle me, every bit that’s left of me and let me go

I feel a chill, an unexpected breeze blow through my bones Then a warmth flow over, like a cloud enveloping me . . . Spreading warmth with rain, comfort with darkness, serenity with storms I turn and see you there Watching over me What do you want? Why don’t you go? Where do you think you found the right? When will you set me free? How do I walk away without my heart and soul? You’ve held them ransom for a chance of something you might someday want . . . I will walk away, just give me back what’s mine

I see you through the crowd . . . I see you with a smile and hear your laughter . . . I wish to spy at you in your own space and time; I see a man with heart and willing love . . . I see a boy that seeks attention and comradery … Shall I try to play the game??? OOHH Baby, even if I try – You’ve made yourself unattainable to me . . . How I wish to touch your soul – While so many hold your thoughts & laughter, Imprint your mind & Play “touch” with your spirit . . . . . . Me? Well . . . I ALL I want . . . is ALL of you . . .

Have you ever felt . . . The more things change . . . The more they stay the same? The waves change the patterns on the sand The dusk and dawn change the colors of the sky The twilight enhances the images you see A new moon brings light to darkness The sun shines light on truth . . . Yet I feel true comfort in the dark . . . And it all comes through again once more The same changes, over again Different ~But the same Surroundings change . . . My reality remains . . . constant

Wish I could reboot my mind; Stop the spinning wheel; Archive the old and empty the trash . . . Too many thoughts hissing in my head Blurring my reality Depriving me of sleep Dreams bleeding into waking hours Truth becoming hard to see Chaos knocking at the door Wish I could drown my thoughts, before my thoughts drown me

Silence It can be bliss or hell . . . I sit in silence with my dear friend, no need to speak no need to conversate no explanation necessary we can just be enjoy each other’s being in utter blissful silence comfort – knowing – trust, all enveloped in silence But with us, the silence is so very loud The loudest sound I’ve ever heard There’s a wish, a need to be fulfilled with words and comfort never comes While words are spoken long, they do not fill the space between us Words longed for remain unspoken yet thrown around in silence a silence that stifles, disappoints a silent scream that makes ears bleed that cuts our throats and leaves us speechless

You pray to me in silence You wait for me in tears You look for life and glory in memory of past years This is the present life This is the life we own Come to me with honesty Come to me with fear and heart in hand I want to see you as you are I want to hold you as the man you have become A hardened heart A strengthened soul But a love I know is real You are my one I hold you with my heart & soul

I think of you when I wake . . . I think of you throughout the day . . . I’m sleep deprived I fall asleep wishing to hear your voice . . . But, as though a “secret” friend . . . You stay away from me so long Who are you? Why did you touch my insides so? I miss your every word . . . You made me smile so . . . It’s you my heart longs for . . . I wish to hear your voice . . . Feel your touch . . . Your breathe against my cheek, neck, lips . . . I long for your touch I miss you

Why don’t you let me forget you . . . You don’t really want ME anyway . . . I remember the way you feel, Your skin against mine, The way you touched me, The heat between our bodies, The way your hair brushed across my breasts . . . When I’m almost over my addiction . . . you find me somehow . . . You say HI and ask me how I am You say you wish me well You say you miss & want me . . . And in that moment I know . . . I can believe your words or walk away . . . Been walking away a year . . . yet you somehow keep finding me Let me go . . . Let me be . . . I was an open book for you to read . . . but You weren’t in the mood to read Your choice . . . We are free . . . To do and believe in any way we do, so . . . Let me go Let me be Set me free . . . in your mind I was never yours to hold alone . . . Stop fighting with your wants Start living with your haves I won’t ever wish and wonder anymore You are my past You are my never gained I won’t write of you again . . . I set you free that way ~ the all I ever really had