LO3R's blog: "Random Thoughts...In no particular order"

This can be the only explination, I DIDN'T COME OFF THAT LEDGE, AND I DIED...that would explain the HELL I'm living through...or maybe I didn't walk away from that accident, or maybe the pill and vodka coctail really worked...my hell is to love and never know real love in return, to show affection and be shunned...to be left by women for no apparent reason, since I'm in HELL I can't change to adapt to it, I'll stay a nice guy and take all of the crap handed to me for all eternity...no matter what it is...wow it's as clear as day now, am I really the age I think I am or have I been suffering much longer...how many more women will I give my heart to just to be dumped without a word reason, or how many are going to tell me that I'm to good for them...TO GOOD...WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT!!!how many are gonna use me only for a lay cause they're bored, maybe I fall to easy, yeah that's it all part of my HELL...well that explains it all...wish someone could save me...but I'm already in HELL

Ok this blog actually has to do with the title...seems to me that I'm being taken advantage of...I think I'm a nice guy...yeah yeah I know I DOOMED to finish last...but why does it have to hurt to get there...I don't feel that I'm appreciated...I work hard, and all I get is ingratefulness...if that even is a word...the world seems to be GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!...and like the IDIOT I am, I give, I've tried to say no, but turn around and give in once again..."Taken in...taken in again...there's one born every minute, and your looking at him"...Mike & The Mechanics-Taken In...If I felt as if my action were appreciated, hell I don't need "Thank You" since I would feel that enjoyed what I did for you, instead of taking me for granted...talk to me, don't shut me out and only open your mouth ask for something, complain, or whatever...

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?...Pink Floyd-Wish You Were Here.... . . Well haven't written anything in a long time...not that the world doesn't continue to piss me off, but just that haven't had the energy to do it...though today to be honest I really don't have the energy, (read Desire)...first thing I want to say is...KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ORDER BEFORE YOU GET TO THE DRIVE THRU!!!!...this also means...STOP TALKING ON YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE AND ORDER!!!!...unless you saw something on a comercial that is new at your local fast food place, the menu hasn't changed much since the last time you were there, and if by any chance you haven't seen the newest in new, usually there will be an ad on the outside menu...there is no such thing as the "secret special" that you have to ask for...you don't have to tell me that "Vinnie" sent you to be able to buy a value meal...oh and another thing....READ THE MENU!!!this is not a 5 star rest. where it's my job to tell you todays special or what the soup d'jour is...THIS SLOWS DOWN MY DRIVE THRU!!!...the person behind you won't yell at you, it's me that has to hear how slow I am...at your job you get a performance review, well mine is based on speed of service...if I fuck up myself on my own, well so be it...but if you cause my time to go up...well you know where I'm going...point 2...those of you that drive diesel trucks, TURN THEM THE HELL OFF WHEN YOU GET TO THE SPEAKER!!!most of the times these trucks are insulated against outside noise, so there is no way you can hear the racket that comes over my headset...and you wonder why your order get jerked up...point 3...don't order for the entire office in the drive thru, unless it's on one total...don't come up and say that you have more than 2 orders, again goes to the time, and speed of service...another thing if your getting more than 3 value meals...walk in...again speed of service thing...oh yeah guess what, most of the kitchens have a speaker, so when you pull up anything you say will be heard by the staff, so if we point and laugh now you know we heard about your rash :)

"Hey im feelin tired, my time is gone today, you flirt with suicide, sometimes thats ok"...Falling Away From Me...Korn I have no idea what to do....I'm truely sick of it all...my sense of responsibility once kept me going, but right now I don't care either...live or die...sink or swim...I get no help, simple requests are ignored, like the crazy guy that stands on the corner telling everyone the end is near...my heart is heavy, and my muscles hurt...is it age? your as young as you feel, and right now I fell like I'm 80...although nearing 40, and don't give me that crap that 40 is the new 30, I still look 30, which with 30 being the new 20...AARRRGGHHH TO MANY NUMBERS!!!...where was I, oh yeah...MY LIFE IS SUCKING!!!and no one near me seems to care, some of my CT friends whisper words of encouragement...THNX TO ALL!!...but the ones that could really make a difference seem to wrapped up, and the fake crap has to end, maybe I'm cynical, years ago I was told I was to young to be cynical, I think I'm old enough now...I just don't believe people any more...I'm not the smartest person in the world, and I won't tell you how it is that I know, but damn it...STOP LYING TO ME!!!...your not that good, and I can see right thru you...that's why I don't trust anyone, I've been lied to, taken advantage of for far to long...I was a sweet person, but now the world can kiss 100% of my puertorican ass!!!I'm in it for me, my responsibilty will be for ME!!!...me first, second, and third...and if there is anything left over...FUCK YOU ALL I'M TAKING THAT TO!!!!...if anyone doesn't like it...don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, don't like my attitude, well you helped bring the monster to life Dr. Frankenstein...LIVE WITH IT!!!...another thing I'm sick and tired of this state...sure the grass is always greener on the other side, but it's always greener when you live in a garbage dump...one day all will ask, "Where's Mikey??"...guess what I'll be where I should be, where the world will reflect my mood, always down, oh I know some out ther know where that is, but hell there is even another place I've never talked about, though if anyone ever really listened to me, I tend to talk about it sometimes...hint it's a place I visted often for several years...maybe I'll end up there away from it all, get a dog, at least they can love you, not lie to you, not bite the hand that feeds, not use then cut when no longer a needed, appreciate my worth, follow simple requests completely,...oh hell what am I saying I'm stuck here with no visible way to get out...the tears of frustration wet the keyboard as I type, my situation feels hopeless...I'm in a hole with only a inch and a half crack for me to hold on to stopping me from plunging into the darkness completely...and "I'm so tired"...again the Ozz..."Yours sincerely, wasting away"...When I"m 64...Beatles

Why is it called "HUMP DAY" when most folks get laid on the weekends???...hhhmmm

Well got back from the local fall festival...actually been back for awhile, but got caught up watching Animal Planet, cool show on creepy crawly creatures...and basketball...my beloved Chicago Bulls are taking on the Miami Heat, and kicking their @$$...for those that don't know, the Heat are the reigning champs...although I live in Florida, and there are 2 Pro teams here...the other being the Orlando Magic, I don't cheer for either one...well who cares...it was ok...the festival...there was a sound stage this year, with live music...the band geek in me really liked the local high school's drum line...Wesley Chapel High for anyone out there looking for a shoutout...well hitting the pillow now, not even gonna look up my fantasy sports teams...not in the mood...geez I'm really getting bad when the thought of setting up my teams for competition doesn't even get me excited...you know I would even turn down sex if offered...now that's bad...oh well gotta get up early, gotta cover someone on vacation at work...to all my readers, though very few actually leave comments...good night...talk to you tomorrow

Well first off I know I'm breaking with my normal style, of putting song lyrics in the subject line of the blog, but right now I don't care...sorry I'm not mad at anyone that is reading this...I'm just generally pissed...Halloween the only time folks dismiss my "darkness" as me getting "into the spirit" is not the same this year...sure the whole year has gone to hell in a handbasket, and I entertain thoughts of those that would miss me...well the only one that would is my mother, and she's not around to suffer if I disapear, so maybe I just don't care...and right around the corner comes the worst part of the year for me...Christmas time, ya know for 2 weeks already the stores have hade Christmas crap out...this past weekend the plaza put up their sh*t...geez it's not even Halloween and already I'm getting this crap shoved down my throat, and people wonder why I HATE CHRISTMAS...it's gotten so phony, commercial, so damn "kabuki theater"...you know where the actors have their faces painted, everyone puts on a "Christmas-y" face to show the world that they are in the holiday celebration...BAH HUMBUG...I love that...I refuse to be faked out, to me people are fake anyway, since I don't trust anyone...and I refuse to be counted among the faceless masses trudging back and forth from the malls, stores, etc...my family knows how I feel, and they accept me...ok I do fake a bit...only for my children, they're to young to realize what crap the "holliday season" is...nor will I tell them my views, they are smart, they can figure it for themselves...well the little pick me up called Halloween is not helping me...so I guess I'll slip deeper and deeper into my darkness till I can no longer see the light...