frogman81974's blog: "random things from sports to life"

i am the wind that blows through your hair i am the sun that warms your soft fair skin i am the stars that twinkle in your eyes at night i am the blanket that keeps you warm on a cold night i am the warm touch you feel during your dreams i am the kiss on your lips when you feel alone i am the light in your heart and soul i am the last thought on your mind when you go to bed i am the strength you need to survive hard times i am the smile you get when you are happy i am the treasure you hold so dear in your heart and i am the man you love with all your heart and soul and i will always be here for you making you happy and holding you tight you are everything to me and i am glad i am the same to you i love you

passion passion is what drives us it makes us love it makes us hate it consumes us with every passing moment your love is my passion i strive to feel it every moment of everyday it fills my soul with energy my passion gives me the ability to love you with all i am it grows it takes me to a place i have never been your passion can make you hate or love it shows you what your made of it can take you to the heights of heaven or send you to the depths of hell it binds us together our passion gives us every emotion we feel sorrow happiness all because of our passion its what makes us human those who cause us to suffer use our passion against us pain caused by passion is a very strong emotion we loose our thought process we become enraged therefore not thinking which causes mistakes and the ones that seek to hurt us use that passion against us only the strong willed can defeat their enemies passion is the root of all humanity it gives you the strength to do what is right or the weakness to be evil and destroy this is passion and we all have it inside of us what is your passion

Suicide I sit alone in the darkness as I pull the gun up to my head I point it at my head I pause a moment then I pull the trigger I slump to the floor as my blood splatters on the wall behind me the note on the dresser tells everyone why I couldn’t live anymore as the darkness fades I am standing next to my crying mom and all of my old friends crying also I look to see them lowering my coffin into the ground I become overwhelmed with guilt as I realize after its too late that my punishment for taking my life is the eternal torment of having to watch my friends and family live with the pain I caused them I watch my mom as she cries everyday wondering what she did that caused her only son to take his own life I try to comfort her but to no avail and only now do I realize that I was wrong no matter how bad your life is you affect the people around you in a positive way it might be a smile or a laugh but you do its too late for me but I hope my words get to you in time because you don’t want to end up like me walking the earth in eternal torment

Freedom I look up at the sky its blue there is a nice breeze blowing I try to move my head but it wont move I try to move my arms but they wont move I start to panic but to no avail I cant move I start to see darkness fall over me as something is thrown onto my face I flinch but nothing gets in my eyes I try to scream out loud but my lungs produce no noise I try to cry but no tears fall from my eyes I lay here paralyzed as the darkness comes over me I try to sleep but I am still awake I stop for a minute and realize that today was my funeral and I am dead right then my soul leaves the prison of my body and soars to the sky as I fly away I hear the sounds of a thousand voices singing in my ears as I stop to look at my mom one last time I smile as she looks up at the sky directly at me and smiles I blow her a kiss in the wind and continue my journey to eternity where she will join me soon enough I don’t regret being dead now I am finally free of the torment I have paid my dues now my soul is free thank you and I love you all and I will see you all again

My Love I wake up this morning with a renewed sense of life as today is our anniversary I roll out of bed and go to the kitchen to pack us a picnic lunch I grab a bottle of wine and make some sandwiches and cheeses and fruits and put them into the basket as I pack the car for the long trip to the place when had our first picnic together I make some breakfast and eat then take a shower and hit the road it takes about two hours to get to the spot I walk with a skip in my step as I lay the blanket down there is a bright sunshine flowing from the sky as I take a sandwich out and hand it to you as I take a bite out of my sandwich I open the wine and pour two glasses as I sit and chat with you about everything and anything as the time flies by the sun starts to set I realize our time is up as I put the wine in the basket and the blanket in the car I come back to say goodbye to you for another year as I look down at your headstone I kiss my hand and touch your name as I will go back to my life without you I wonder how I can live with the pain without you my loving wife taken from me too soon my only love my heart my life I start to cry as I look down at your headstone I whisper to you I miss you very much as if you can hear me I feel and gentle breeze touch my face as though you were there touching me and again I am happy as I know soon enough I will join you again and will live happily forever together I love you I say last time as I look at the stone in the ground the last remains of my wife beloved daughter and loving wife may she rest in peace. I walk back to my car and drive away with tears in my eyes as I miss my wife I say aloud one more time I love you as my words flow in the wind to where ever you are as I speed off into the sunset

The Light of my Life I walk alone in this darkness I look around there is no light in site I feel the darkness invade my mind as it slowly makes Its way through my body I feel it in my heart in my soul the pain of loneliness takes over I look around for just a glimmer of hope I search my mind for something to hold on to. Is it true have I served my purpose in life am I no longer needed by anyone can this be true I feel the pain take my mind its like a sharp dagger in my head as I realize it is true I am no longer needed. I stop walking in the darkness and sit waiting for hope to show its radiant face to me its hard living like this I just want to die besides no one will miss me anyways. As the thought of death enters my mind I feel something on my neck was that someone breathing on me could it be death or am I just imagining things now I am losing this battle I search my mind still no hope I get scared as the darkness threatens to take my body over now I look all around again for something anything that will bring me back then I see it and very faint light in the distance that’s it my glimmer of hope I get up and run in the darkness towards that light but no matter how far or fast I run the light doesn’t get any closer I scream to the light but nothing my thoughts turn back to the darkness as if its my best friend now it’s the only thing that has been here the whole time but the light is now in my mind I feel the warmth as if it was calling to me I turn again towards it as if my trust has been renewed the light gets brighter and brighter the more I begin to trust I feel it calling to me now as if a hundred beautiful voices singing my name I move closer the shine of the light becomes brighter I stop walking as the light get closer it over takes me as I close my eyes I feel the warmth of the light envelop my body as my mind clears and feels fresh my soul as bright as it can be I open my eyes and let the light take me. I am whole again my trust is back and I know that people love me and nothing will ever take that away. I hold the light in my heart and soul and never let it go it is my link to everything and everybody now I will never let go. I am startled out of my dream by my alarm clock as the music blasts my ears another night has past and the sun is up I climb out of bed and slowly walk towards the door I stop when I hear your voice I see you laying in bed still sleeping you look so radiant like that I pull the covers over you as you sleep. I listen as I hear you say my name but you are still asleep it dawns on me that you were the light in the darkness the glimmer of hope I needed to get out of the darkness I kiss your forehead as I pause for just a minute to bask in the radiant light of your beauty I smile at your sleeping body hoping your having a good dream as I walk out the door to take a shower I stop again and look at you sleeping what a beautiful site it is a smile takes over my face I walk to the bathroom and get into the shower and realize that the darkness was caused by my mind and it was just a dream because you are still here and always will be you are the light of my life and I will always love you deeply.

The Committment I sit in the waiting room with my scrubs on waiting for the nurse to come out and escort me into the or I am so nervous I am about to become a dad my emotions are running wild now. It has been an hour since they took her in I start to worry now as I have heard nothing from anyone I go to the front desk and ask them they don’t know what is going on either I go and sit down my nerves are working over time now. I am scared now its been two hours and no word I am going insane now I am in a panic as I scream at the nurse to find out what is going on she looks at me and tells me to calm down I cant I say they have been there for two hours now I want to see my wife and baby. I sit back in the chair as I see my mom arrive she sees the worry on my face and asks what is wrong I tell her they have been in there two hours and they have told me nothing. She holds me close as I begin to cry on her shoulder she pats me and says everything is fine just relax. Another hour has passed now as I can no longer take this I get up just as the doctor walks out to the waiting room I see him rubbing the top of his head as the sweat is running down his brow I look at him and ask him what is going on. He comes closer I see the look on his face I sink back into my chair and hold my moms hand. The doctor says Mr. Campbell there was a problem during the birth I ask how is the baby he says fine a relief starts to come over me he then says its your wife I ask what is wrong he says I am sorry Mr. Campbell we did everything we could for her. I start to cry as I ask him is she dead he says I am sorry we did everything we could for her as my face goes pale white my mom hugs me as I start to cry no this cant be. The pain in my heart swells as cry in my moms arms no this didn’t happen I look at the doctor I want to see her now he says I don’t think that would be a good idea I say doctor I want to see her now. I get up I can barely walk now as I follow the doctor to the room as I see you there lying on the table tubes in your body as you don’t move at all I walk closer as I take your hand in mine it feels cold and lifeless then it hits me you are gone now I have lost you I cry again as I kiss you hand for the last time the nurse starts to pull me away I beg her not too she leads me out of the room as I say my last goodbye to you and I love you as I see my mom in the chair crying I go and sit next to her and hold her close. I have to call your parents now and tell them what happened. I pick up the phone and call I give them the news I hear your mom scream no as she cries out loud and I hear your sister do the same as your father tries to keep his composure he tells me that they will be down next week to see me. A new nurse comes out to me and tells me she is sorry for my loss but says that my new daughter is in the viewing room if I want to see her. Right now I am so hurt and full of pain I don’t think I can even look at her yet. My mom tells me to go and see her you are her father and have a responsibility to her now. I walk down what seems a long hall way to the display room I see the nurse pick my daughter up and bring her forward towards me so I can see my radiant daughter I start to cry as I realize you can never hold her or change a diaper or see her first steps. The nurse holds her up and I look into her eyes and see you there as I realize you will always be with me in her and I let out a smile in all of my pain. As I see now that life must go on as I look to the sky and say I will miss you my love and I hope you watch me and your daughter Katarina all through our lives I miss you already baby but you know I have to move on now for her sake I have a new commitment to uphold now as I look at my newly born young innocent daughter in the arms of the nurse and I cant help but smile again and I thank you for this gift as I go back to the waiting room to tell my mom. I walk down that long hall again towards my brand new life. The commitment

i have been thinking about this for a while now and i really dont have any idea what love is or how its supposed to feel i mean is there a certain thing you supposed to feel that tells you what love is cause pain well is pain heat is heat cold is cold i know i am being a bit crazy but you can identify all those things but i cant seem to identify what love is supposed to feel like and know this because your married doesnt mean you know what love is i dont know how many people who are married say they know love that is just your case maybe the truth is it feels different for each person and that is the reality because each emotion we feel is different none of us are the same so maybe you should think about that the next time you judge someone and yes maybe i am emotionless or then again maybe i am just real