Alexander Shaumyan's blog: "Random Ravings"

In the Streams of Pure Brilliance In the streams of pure brilliance, With a self-complacent smile, Lives a smug, pretentious poet With a highfalutin style. He just walks around the city With dark shades and a winter coat, Claiming that he has a vision And that no one gets his goat. As he shops for stale bananas For his daughter and his wife, Local riffraff starts to wonder If he really has a life. But it really doesn't matter-- Nothing touches him at all In his world of metaphysics, Where he has transcendent goals. As a young girl at the counter Reads the price: "Five sixty-nine," He just looks at her intently, Saying: "It will be just fine." "I will buy these stale bananas, These tomatoes, bread and milk, But you'll never meet another Of my stature and my ilk." "If you ever read my verses, You'll come to realize There is more to life than burgers, Eggs and bacon, cheese and fries." "If you look inside my soul, You'll see yourself in me-- A long-haired flame of passion That has come to set you free." And he gives her twenty dollars, Smiles and tells her: "Keep the change. Just remember what I told you, And don't think me mad or strange." So she tells him: "Thank you, Mister. Your fine wisdom I'll miss-- If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd give you a wet kiss." So he gracefully walks out-- With his bag, dark shades and all, Saying: "God, forgive your children, I have saved another soul." February 25, 2007 --Alexander Shaumyan

Crucified by Lack of Talent Crucified by lack of talent, He lashes out at the establishment Of academic aristocracy That fails to see his significance Or genius, wrapped in the unoriginal Sentimental longings for the past, When vagueness concealed lack of depth And pretentiousness would win a large Audience, but no siree, no cigar -- His bullshit doesn't fly these days With a more discerning and sophisticated Audience, who knows the difference Between some grandma's clumsy verses For her grandkids and a more serious Type of work, that requires a bit of Thinking, but he just shoots off his mouth About being some bold revolutionary, Beheaded and crucified by rigid dogmas Of his academic peers, who view His bullshit with a skeptical reserve, For he is as original as a marshmallow, Toasting in a fireplace on a Christmas Eve, And only the ignorant are impressed By his lack of depth or substance -- For he's just a poetic Santa Claus Or Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Hiding behind a martyred persona, Trying to pass for some Nietzsche or Schopenhauer to the clueless housewives And Jesus-enamored senior citizens, Animal rights activists, new age weirdos, And look-at-me-out-of-the-closet gays And lesbians -- but it's just a circus Of hacks and ne'erdowells, shooting off Their agendas from their soap boxes, Who have no interest in the esthetic Aspects of art or poetry, where all writers Are talentless hacks and all poets Are loudmouths like some insurance Salesmen or game show hosts, and it Doesn't take long to see that it all Amounts to just more noise and who Can shout the loudest in the crowd Of self-important fools. February 5, 2007 --Alexander Shaumyan

The Soul's Journey through the Zodiac In memory of my father (Feb. 27, 1916 - Jan. 21, 2007) Ariens plunge right in, never thinking, Always tempting fate, never blinking At catastrophes that lie ahead, While most Taureans stay in bed, Lazing comfortably in their homes And admiring things they own. Restless Gemini flit about, Always changing and going out, As they gossip of this and that, Changing lovers at the drop of a hat. Cancers never want to let go Of past lovers of long ago, Always brooding, sulking and moping, In their endless dreaming and hoping. Leos constantly crave attention, Overburdened with sexual tension And their past indiscretions in bed, Which they later come to regret. Virgos endlessly worry and fret, Nagging, carping and insecure, Finding nothing that's clean or pure. Libras always look for concessions, No matter what the transgression, Always keeping their passions at bay -- No wonder they seem so gay. It takes Scorpios to let you know The true sting of a vengeful blow-- No matter how hard you try-- You will not get away with a lie. Saggitarians seek higher ground, As they aimlessly wander around Through this globe in search of truth With their sense of eternal youth. Capricornians labor through trials With self-discipline and self-denial To advance to the mountain heights-- Harsh and solitary is their plight. Odd Aquarians find true meaning In humanity's new beginning-- Not to judge our sisters and brothers As we wake up to love one another. Pisceans learn that the earthly sphere Is a dream, just a cosmic veneer, As they see with their higher sight The soul's journey into the night. January 30, 2007 --Alexander Shaumyan

In the Year of the Pig for Miley 2007, the Fire Pig (Ding Hai) Year February 18, 2007 through February 6, 2008 In the Year of the Pig, When all the scores And debts are settled, Love and luck will shine Upon us and we'll be roll In our good fortune Like two pigs in the mud. In the Year of the Pig We'll be living like Rockefellers, Wearing our hearts On our sleeves, Drinking good wine And smoking fine cigars. In the Year of the Pig There will more great poetry, More sincerity and More honesty, And our hearts will expand Exponentially Beyond our youthful Waistlines. In the Year of the Pig We'll laugh and have good cheer, Drunk with poetry, Life and beer, Sharing everything we've got. In the Year of the Pig There'll be no want, nor sorrow -- Only faith in the tomorrow, In our love and living large. In the Year of the Pig There will be chivalry, Truth and honor, Trust and brotherhood, And good will. In the Year of the Pig The arts will flourish And we'll have Everything Our hearts desire… In the Year of the Pig, My darling, And in the years to come. January 3, 2007 --Alexander Shaumyan

Down the Rabbit Hole of Mathematical Uncertainty Down the rabbit hole We go and go, Following infinite Decimal rows Of pi's expansion -- Three point one four, One, five, nine, two, Six, and so much more... Going down Through the Infinite Doors... And no janitor Can stop us now, As we keep going Through sigmas And taus, Stopping to ponder The value of phi-- Half plus a half Of the square Root of five. Perfect geometry-- Golden rectangles, Circles and squares, And we form an angle That cuts an arc Of 120 degrees And of 180 When we disagree. But you and I, darling, Could never be square, For we are well-rounded And well aware That the truth lies Somewhere between Zero and one, Where a small Chance of Winning is Still better Than none. December 11, 2006 --Alexander Shaumyan

Consider the Sky, My Love, Today Consider the sky, my love, today -- The sun came out, replaced the grey And the idifference of what has been This life of despair and shattered dreams. Some people would say that's how it goes -- We get what we get and no one knows What the future holds along our way -- Consider the sky, my love, today. The Christmas shopping, the hype, the cheer -- You get so numb to it year after year, The faces of people you'll never see, Each seems to cry out: "Listen to me." The loneliness eats away at the soul, You try to connect but can't control The sheer banality you see each day -- Consider the sky, my love, today. I watched the moon with its silver glow Amidst this life with its ebb and flow Of loss and despair that comes our way -- Consider the sky, my love, today. Consider the music that soothes the soul, Consider the sea that makes us whole, Consider the wind that steers our way, Consider the sky, my love, today. December 9, 2006 --Alexander Shaumyan

Queen Tetona of the Nile She is the Queen Tetona of the Nile, Sharing her sweet full bosom with her man, Who's dancing hoodoo voodoo with the style And grace of Mary's sacrificial lamb. The moon is full and drunk with Spanish rum, Where angels dare to drown in alcohol, While the poetic pharaoh Bubble Bum Shares the inner secrets of his soul. It's all so fake and perfectly absurd-- The acting and the lavish pageantry, Lost in a mad cacophany of words That cannot see the forest for the trees. Lo! Queen Tetona and the great King Bum Coming alive in all their majesty, As both of them gyrate and start to hum Some ritual hymn of sheer travesty. Da-dum, da-da-da-dum, tra-la-la-lum-- That's how it all goes in the end-- Just watch the Queen Tetona and King Bum Set off another superficial trend. December 5, 2006 --Alexander Shaumyan www.shaumyan.com

Another Uplifting Poem It was another uplifting poem, Masquerading as the meaning of life, And those who took little sips from it Felt a little better during the day Because the poem was their friend Like a get-well card or a call from That special someone with its Huggy--poo and lovey-doo Type of fuzzy nonsense, But it felt good anyway, Like you were standing in a parking lot Filled with cheery people, getting All sickly christmasy, And the huggy-poos and lovey-doos Kept ringing loud in your head and You felt that you wasted all of your Goddamned motherfucking life Just to hear some cheerful Obnoxious moron tell you sickly Sweet platitudes--hugs and kisses And sunny wishes, and babies and Puppies and kittens, and horrible verse About someone's granny And how she made it all better, While you were holding a gun to your head, Wanting to end it all, sick of all the love And the hugs and the greetings, And the Christmas spirit, and saving The whales, and the genocide in Darfur, And feeding the world and protecting Little critters with huggy-poos and Lovey-doos and all the random fuck-yous From the passing drivers-- Then it all made sense as you lowered the gun And took the piss in the parking lot In front of all those cheery bible peddlers And said merry fucking Christmas, Taking a shot in the dark and walking Away in a drunken stupor. December 1, 2006 --Alexander Shaumyan