Chaotik Element's blog: "Random Poetry Pt 2"

Why do I treat women the way I do? Why do I joke around between me and you? Cause thats just how I am, I respect women just as they respect, just as they treat me. If I come on too strong, then I'll back away, just say those words to me. How can I be so sweet, I guess thats just part of who I am and how I can be. I can be the mirror for women you see, I just bring out whats already there, or whats been there all along since before you met me. Clearly, I'm more then just what you seen when you take a look at me. Its simple, its common sense logically. I'll make you smile, I'll make you laugh, and I'll help time to pass in a blast. What do I expect? I expect respect, and honesty. Those are some of the key points to me. I can respect you, so long as you respect me. Who am I and what can I be? Your shoulder to cry on, an open ear, some advice and someone who'll always try his best to be there. I'll try not to lose my temper, its more then just this, however it could all be so simple.

What do you want, what do you need? What do you feel, what do you see? Some of us wish to die, some of us wish we could feel or cry, others want to try. Some of us go on cause we've promised not to give up, some of us have decided to give up. Some of us have reasons to live, some of us have contributions to give. Some of us have time, and some of us have minds, some of us don't know what to look for or to find. Some of us could care less about others, some of us have lost our minds. Some of us want to grow, some of us want to die. Some of us thought it was all ok, but found out later on you should best break away. What do I want, what do I need? To break free and be happy on the outside and the inside, can't you see? Some of us want to hold another, some of us want to continue to see, some of us never really know "What'll become of me?" Some of us care, some of us are scared, and some of us need to also beware. Some of us don't know whats real & fake, some of us have seen the clock and wonder how long getting to where we want to be'll take. Some of us are angry at how its all been going and feel the need for a break.

In a perfect world noone'd ever feel pain, noone'd ever hurt but instead they'd just learn and gain. Noone'd cry, lie, or deny, the world would be different and thats no lie. We could speak our minds and not fear the result, we could say whats on our minds, what we've gone through and not point any blame or faults. We could get along, and exist so easily like this, keep it going and we'd get to see the results of our wish. In this world, as the world turns, people get hurt. From the soul to the heart, and everything inbetween noone really knows what the value is of someone, or how much they really can mean. We'd find the one whom with we're ment to be, I could hold them while they never let go, despite any bullshit. The worlds not perfect, I admit it but when push comes to shove you better be glad your still in it. Cause you never really know, how long we've got left here, until the day when you leave. You never know when your breathing your last breathe, when its the last time you'll breathe.

Its hard to change the world, they say silence is a saviour but is it just a waste of time when you walk alone? You make no beat but that of your feet, you think maybe you can, maybe its all pretty sweet when your not down on your knees. Its a waste of time with an empty mind, its just a game inside this frame. They say one person can change it all,leave it be and watch it all crash & fall. To watch this shit get worse, fall & burn, to crash into whats left of of this. This pile, this mess, this whole worlds full of bullshit and stress, whats left? Feedback, step back,back track,

As hes done it before a thousand times, on a Friday night, clearly he watches this pass him by, and thats time. Sipping on a drink with his brother, the car stereo blasting, its a mix between his mixtape, Snoop, 2pac and the radio. They both lay on the hood, and look up, he looks at the bottle and spills the last few drops. Hes looking out to the sky, wondering where she is, is she somewhere out there or somewhere down here? He wants answers but the questions don't go away. He keeps going on, hoping maybe someone, some how, some way, some day, but hes not ready to run away.

Hes asking those questions hes asked before, asked the same ones and several more. He looks up and wonders who, what, when, where and why? Would he love some answers, yes he would but he won't deny. Hes sick of seeing it all again, hes seen it before, and hes not impressed. Its all a mess without, and within, it makes no sense to him. All these questions have no answers,they spread like cancer. Wheres the wiseman he asked before? He'll ask but expect no answers, but first he waits and hesitates.

My mind wanders, I'm calm and its faded out. Sitting by the spot where the photos are from, I don't know who she is, I can't see her, clearly but shes beside me. It'll fade to black, fade on when I wake, but the time'll enjoy the feeling so real. To wake and not tell the difference between the dream and reality.

Happiness, some find it alone some find it with another. Some find it in bliss, some find it in pain & some find it in the needle. Some find it in life, some find it in death, some find it in time and some find it in stress. Some find it in confussion, some find it all a mess. Some find it in lies, some find it in truth, some don't find it at all and ask whats the use.

I'm standing in the rain, inside I feel this pain but its not intense enough to drive me insane. I follow my self to persue her though I know I'll get burnt like a moth to a flame. I look around, I try to make sense, and maybe even re-arrange but maybe nows not the time to look ahead at a family and make a change. I care deeply about whom I'll never have, nights trying to sleep, from time to time it'd drive me mad. Its got me lookin back @ the mirror to see, to question whats going on, to ask who am I, what do I see? At times I wish I'd died in a relationship, never survived to see it alone. Instead of lived single wearing puma cologne. Do you know who the perfect woman is? Who could she be? Someone who gives a damn, someone who can have deep conversations with me. Someone who'd do me no harm, tell no lie, and hold my hand in the hospital as I sleep in a coma for so long, never let go even when I die.

I don't like the person and the look on the outside, I'll try and aim for change though I won't run and hide. Chop, chop slice and away the hair'll go, next is the side burns, yep they got to go. I'll change my look, hopefully I'll look better that way.