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Rambling

Today was the first day of a perinatal nursing conference I'm attending for work. We started out with the most difficult part first-bereavement and helping patients who had lost their precious babies. As part of the lesson, three sets of parents came in to talk to us for 2 hours about their stories and their entire experiences with the loss of their children. Reading about how to care for people in these situations is good, but nothing prepared me or taught me better than these familes did. One thing that a father said really spoke to my heart and I don't think that I'll ever forget his words. He said: "If you think that it's better to be politically correct than to hold your patient's hand and cry with them, then you don't need to be a nurse and you should just quit now." Wow, what a profound statement. It reminded me again why I am doing what I do. To help people when they are at their weakest moment and offer some hint of comfort, even though a lot of times there is nothing I can do to make things better, just letting them know that I'm there and I care is enough for them. Some of the thoughtless, insensitive things that were said to these parents by doctors and nurses truly sickened me. A couple of moms said that there was only ONE nurse or other health care professional that actually said that they were sorry for their loss. I think that sometimes we in the health care field become so used to seeing life and death occur that we forget how these things impact our patients and their familes' lives. We cannot become so used to seeing a baby being born that we don't choke up every time we are in a delivery room and thank God for another miracle. We cannot become so used to seeing people die that we forget that people are hurting now because of that loss-that that person was loved by someone. I will never be ashamed to cry with my patients. I just hope that I can be the kind of nurse that always lets my patients know that I care, even if there is nothing I can do but to just sit with them, listen, and cry with them.
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