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Trashionista's blog: "Rambling's of REL"

created on 08/11/2007  |  http://fubar.com/rambling-s-of-rel/b114448  |  1 followers

Why is it the guys with the small dicks that insist on having NSFW photos??

I think of you every day and every single night, Aaron. It's worse at night. The short time we had are jam packed with memories that will NEVER leave me. You impacted my life in ways you will never know. Are you at peace now? It's going on three months since you passed away and yet it feels like yesterday. The pain is still potent and my tears are still flowing. Our time was so magical and special, I know I will never have that again. I can still hear your voice, I can still see your smile...your laugh, your pain, your stories. We shared so much so quickly...my spark in the dark is what I call you. God sent you to me for the little bit of time you had left on this planet and I thank him every single day.
But when does the pain stop? Does it ever? Will it ever? Sometimes I feel you when I stay the night at your old house with Monica. Especially at night when I'm trying to sleep downstairs on the couch next to the spot on the floor where you died. I stare at that spot for hours, listening to the songs we listened to together on my ipod. Can you hear me crying? Can you hear me when I talk to you? Can you feel how much I miss you?
When does it stop?
It will never stop.
"When the summer rolls around
And the sun starts sinking down
I still remember you
Oh, I remember you
And I wonder where you are
... Are you looking at those same stars again?
Do you remember when?
We woke under a blanket
All tangled up in skin
Not knowing in that moment
We'd never speak again
But it was perfect;
I never will forget
When we owned the night
Yes we owned the night."
- Lady Antebellum "We Owned The Night"


Nothing I could've said or done would've made a difference.

I keep beating myself up over the "What if's".

What if I had stayed longer...

What if I had said more...

What if I had tried harder...

What if I had been more compassionate...

What if What if What if???


I'll never know. I'm so angry, I need to lash out, to hurt someone, to blame someone. Monica said it was just your time. Is she right? Is that right?!!? If so, that's not fair! Someone so amazing and selfless and considerate and giving and loving given to me/us then taken abruptly away? NO!! It's not fair! I feel so cheated. How selfish is that? What lesson am I suppose to learn from this? If only we had more time. If only your pain could've been extinguished another way. I didn't know you very long at all, but you impacted my life in ways you'll never know. Our connection was instant and even though you had other obligations, we kept coming together. Our pasts united us in the present and we bonded. It's so very hard to find someone with similar backgrounds as you and I. We could talk and relate to one another without fear of judgement or ridicule. We experienced the same circumstances, the same pain, the same heartache...we understood eachother. I saw myself in you. But you decided to take a different path...and once again, I feel abandoned. Once again, left here to fight this battle on my own...and I will continue to fight. Your path is not MY path. I choose to stay and fight, but now, I also fight in honor of you. The only comfort I feel is knowing you're no longer in pain, you're no longer filled with rage and you can finally rest your weary head. We'll be down here, celebrating your life, remembering the good times and waiting for the day we all get to see you again.


As a person,

As a man,

As a friend,

As a father...

I love you Aaron.


Constant negativity, drama and conflict make me want to


I used to be able to ignore it, but now my tolerance level is so low, I'm just gonna start chuckin' people.

I'm talkin' about real life, not online. I'm so desperate for goodness and positivity, I'm willing to get rid of almost anyone.

Even my own mother isn't safe.

Sorry ma :/


Come the fuck on.

You didn't know the person you're dating expects you NOT to cheat?

You're either socially retarded or the biggest mind game player EVER.

Infidelity seems to be commonplace nowadays and that growing trend scares the shit out of me. I admit I expect a lot from the person I'm dating. Some things yes, have to be learned because everyone's dating expectations are different, but if you truly care about someone, you'll take the time to learn what makes them tick.

I love when my manfriend knows me so well, he can anticipate my needs in any given situation. Yes, it's possible because I've already experienced it and it was wonderful. When I would wake up in the morning, he would turn the shower on so the water was hot as soon as I stepped in. He had my juice/coffee ready as I walked out the door for work. If he took my car anywhere, he would ALWAYS replace the gas. He loved McDonald's but it would literally make me physically ill. If he ate McDonald's, he'd come home, take a shower and brush his teeth. He knew if I wanted my favorite snack of pickle spears, I would always want three on a plate. All that. All those little details. He took the time to figure me out and it endeared me to him which in turn made me want to do more for him.

Consideration and selflessness, people!

I fucking miss it.


I'm a giver. I love spoiling my significant other and actually SHOWING my love not just voicing it. I don't expect what I do personally to be reciprocated, but I do expect some kind of effort/gesture to keep the relationship and the friendship foundation secure and fresh. So yeah, no cheating, no lying, no mind games, no physical/verbal/emotional abuse, no manipulations, no taking advantage of....for me, that's all common sense, but I guess common sense isn't so common after all :/

In closing, stop being a lying, whore and just break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Stop with the mind games and let them find someone else.


You can be a douchebag all you want, but go be a douchebag by yourself.

Ok, so, I'm a judgemental asshole.

I admit it and I refuse to apologize for it.

Wait a second, hear me out.


I judge stupidity and the people who continue to make the same stupid, painful, alienating mistakes over and over again.

Like me!

I judge and criticize myself relentlessly before anyone else. It's not like I think I'm better than everyone. God no. However, I TRY not to make the same mistakes over and over again. TRY is the key word. Most people don't even try. Would you continue to put your hand on a scalding hot stove if you knew you'd get second degree burns?

Uhh, no!

Yes, I get it, we're all human and humans make mistakes. Humans are also mammals and mammals are social creatures which means they're smarter by design. We learn from the people around us, by society, our friends and family.


Look, I'm that friend that sticks by your side the first 20 times you fuck up. I'm lending money, clothes, buying food, bailing you out of jail...no judgement just support in any way, shape or form. However, when that 21st time rolls around, I have to ask myself "Is this person fucking stupid or do they just not care about themselves and the people helping them out?" I then realize this friendship is no longer healthy so I start shutting myself down to the other person. The friendship lense has been removed and now I see nothing but sharp edges, harsh colors and stupidity. No more kind words, no more favors, no more sugarcoating...nothing. We've been down this road so many times, I no longer need a map. You didn't care enough about me and my feelings so...you're on you're own, kid.

Am I wrong?


Kate: "Excuse me?"

Richie: "What?"

Kate: "Where are you taking us?"

Richie: *whispers* "Mexico."

Kate: "What's in Mexico?"

Richie: "Mexicans."



"From Dusk Till Dawn"


I didn't sleep well last night. I also left my Fubar page up and running all night. I forgot to turn my screensaver back on after watching a movie :/ So, I'm already grumpy when my alarm goes off at 6am. Imagine the jump in intensity of said grumpiness when I'm greeted by people on Fubar bitching, whining and carrying on about me supposedly ignoring them all night o_O


Ok. I said I was grumpy. That was a warning AND apology for the following bitch fest...

No, I don't want to meet up with you.

No, I don't want to get naughty/dirty/freaky/nasty/naked with you in person.

No, I don't want to get naughty/dirty/freaky/nasty/naked with you on cam.

No, I don't want to get naughty/dirty/freaky/nasty/naked with you on chat.

No, I don't want to get naughty/dirty/freaky/nasty/naked with you on the phone.

No, I don't want to FuMarry you.

No, I don't want to marry you IRL.

No, I will not take dirty pictures for you.

No, I will not make you a salute if I don't know you.

No, I will not turn my shoutbox back on.

No, I will not give you my number.

No, I will not give you my chat info.

No, I will not give you my address so you can send me gifts. WTF?

No, I will not take pictures of my feet for you.

No, I will not fan you back.

No, I will not rate all 7436785673456 of your damn pictures.

No, I will not go to your stupid ass, annoying lounge.

No, I don't want to know and I don't care to know.

No, I will not spy on so and so for you.

No, I will not give you so and so's phone number. Another "WTF?"

No, I don't give a fuck what he/she said.

No, I probably won't make you a banner.

No, I probably won't edit your pictures.

No, I will not buy you Bling. Polish your fucking hearts out.

No. I will not buy you a damn VIP.



Adults. Grown ass people acting like whiney, spoiled, selfish children. It's a website for crying out loud. A social networking site and no, NOT a dating website. There's a difference, you dolt.

Do you read anything like, ever? Can you read a profile BEFORE you do anything else? No salute, no add. PERIOD. Yes, I'm single. What am I looking for? I didn't know I was suppose to be looking for something. A baseball bat sounds good right about now. You wanna get to know me? Uhh, we were in process when you made that statement. You wanna see where this can go? Pffft! Dude, you're in Michigan and I'm in a little place I like to call "Reality". Oh, you come to Arizona a lot? That's nice, I don't give a tiny rat's ass.

So you wanna threaten people online? Dude, not only do text on a computer screen NOT hurt, it makes you look like the BIGGEST attention starved, emotionally damaged, instigating, Drama Queen in the history of...uhh, well, people like you :/ Save it for when you're actually in the same state, ok there, tough guy? Even then...LET IT GO.

So you broke up. Character assasination works BOTH ways, asshat. We don't wanna read about it in your status/blog. You wanna know why? WE DON'T FUCKING CARE! Grow the hell up, deal with it like an adult, keep it to yourself and get over it.


F U C K Y O U.

F U C K O F F.


Seriously, I just want to be left the hell alone. I want MY group of friends and really, that's it. Talk to them, socialize with them, blah blah blah. Yes I know I can adjust my settings, but I'm not going to shut myself down and let all the rest of you ego-maniacal, pervy, selfish fucks take over. You stay in your area and I'll stay in mine. I'm sick of the drama, the liars, the cheaters, the whores, the beggers, the games, the fakes, the fake friends. I don't even go looking for it....IT'S EVERYWHERE. I try to stay out of blogs, stay away from certain people but you just can't get away from it. Yeah, it's mostly my fault for signing in whenever I do which is less and less. The killer part is, Fubar Support can't delete my account because two of my salutes aren't in an actual folder to be deleted from. Don't ask me how that happened. It's ok though. I stay away for about a week, get bored, come back aaaaand now I remember why this social networking site is making me ANTI-social :/

I don't know what it is about Fubar.com that turns people into evil, sneaky, lying, manipulative snakes, but I hope this place burns like Sodom and Gomorrah.



Told you I was grumpy :/



Website for adults is NOT the same as adult website.

NO WHERE on the homepage or sign up page does it say anything about





Yeah, no thanks.


I just want to socialize, have fun, interact with my friends and not be harassed. 

This is an 'online bar'. Not an online brothel.

There's XXX cam sites for all that other bullshit.

Take your mammoth, saggy breasts and worn out va jay jay over there.

Dudes too.

That 2incher does nothing for me.

Besides, last time I checked...

Recieving money in exchange for sexual favors/acts/etc...

Was considered soliciting, right?


Yup, you're a hooker.

Get a job.


Look, I don't care if you wanna cam with your friends and act stupid in a lounge, whatever.

But when you're going around asking people if they wanna view your cam for money....

Get outta here with all that mess.

You set the precedent for the rest of us females.

"Oh, well, whats-her-name did it, Trashionista will do it too."

Uhh, fuck you very much, but no.


Self respect....GET YOU SOME!





Anyone else notice the recent abundant flow to the site is largely Crips and/or Bloods? They've been poppin' up left and right. I've seen threats in status messages, hateful and menacing comments on profiles and pictures. Absolutely ridiculous behavior! I mean, c'mon, Fubar isn't the cream of the crop when it comes to elite social networking sites....pfffffffffffft.....*ahem*....but don't add to the bullshit!


With that being said, I can't help but laugh!! xD

 Gangsters have gone high tech.

No longer will they be victims to the mean streets when they can do all their gangbangin' on the information super highway!

How can you be runnin' the streets when you're runnin' a lounge?

It won't be hard to find and keep a couple FuHo's, but when it's time for bitch to pay you your money, you better have a PayPal account.


Hey, e-Bone Thugs 'N Harmony, what do you claim?

Wanna know what I claim: 000111010010101111000101010010100101


:N E W S F L A S H:

Real G's don't have Fubar accounts.


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