I the Penis, here by request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything i do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. i work in a "damp" environment.
6. I work in a "dark" work place that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in hot temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised the administration "Rejects" your request for the following reasons:
1. You don't work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep after breif work periods.
3. You don't always follow orders from the management team.
4. You don't stay in your assigned area, and are often seen visiting other areas.
5. You don't take initiative.
6. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start work.
7. You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift.
8. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations such as wearing protective clothing.
9. You will retire before you are 65.
10. You are usually unable to work double shifts.
11. You sometimes leave you assigned work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if thats "NOT" enough, You have been constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying " TWO SUSPICIOUS LOOKING BAGS"
