tedgresham's blog: "Bohemian Bull"

When there's lightning - it always bring me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found...

There's no sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark

Whoever invented karaoke should be tied up and forced to listen to cow farts and fingernails on on chalk boards and shit like that.  This statement has nothing to do with what's on my mind other than I am trying very hard to escape karaoke at the moment.  Long story.  Ask me sometime.

The question on nobody's mind but mine is... where are you?  OK, let me elaborate. 

Having lived a life of confusion and failure (I'm not like you, I just fuck up... Slipknot) I have returned to the music of my youth, what was then called hard rock but has evolved into a collection of hard rock and heavy metal styles that still have trouble with The Man but are now more direct and outspoken in lyrics and louder and better at eradicating conscious thought.  I love what the music has become.  Black Sabbath/etc has become Slipknot and Dammage Plan and Godsmack and so much more good shit. 

Problem is, everybody these days likes soft, tacky, he-haw, hip hop and all kinds of other totally and critically icky noise.  Only a collection of smarter than average kids like the best of the best.  Or maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe there are people who like it.  Maybe.  I can't find them.  Not around here, not over thirty five, not willing to admit it.  Actually I don't care if you're twenty but I'm no idiot.  A twenty-something is not going to appreciate a crotchety old snarl like me no matter how much we are alike.  So anyway...

Where are you?  Now you get it?

Where are you who is not patriotic, who does not think every tear makes a flower, every cloud has a silver lining or, ick, who does not believe jeeezus is coming back... as if he ever left.  Where are you who can stand long hair and a beard attached to a bundle of cynicism?  Where are you who thinks happiness is overrated?  Where are you who sees that you're lost and never will be found?

A rainbow in the dark is scientifically impossible, you know.  Rainbows are created by light passing through mist.  If it's dark there is, duh, no light.  But then, of course, when lightening flashes in the dark there is a brief second of light so there CAN be a rainbow in the dark for a split second.

We few, the not proud, the not always so strong, do not live for beauty beyond the horizon or dream of a rosy future.  We live for those rainbows in the dark, the oxymoron of a flashing, instant rainbow that is more beautiful than any ordinary streak of colors.  Of course it's the one we always miss because the spark of flame from the sky shocks us into reality because we see who we are.

Where are you who will share a beer and a bar stool, drift through the night with me, and wait for that fucking flash which is more likely to be the lights of a police car than lightening.  Next time we should park in a more remote place!  Ya think?

I keep looking.  All I find is a whole lot of dark.

Maybe it's true.  Maybe I'm lost and never will be found... left alone in the dark, just like you, and maybe it's because of the dark that we may never meet up.

I keep looking.  Maybe, just maybe, when that revealing bolt from a black sky crashes through my world I'll actually see the that rainbow for a split second and maybe, just maybe, that rainbow will be you.  How cool would that be?

Damn I am such a fuckin' romantic at heart.  Ha!