Questions, Answers, and Myself
i peer into souls
that’s part of what i do
i suppose i’m searching for similarities
or perhaps, even, for myself
for something to connect me with the rest of the world.
my mother, for example.
i get to peer deeper and deeper into her each and every moment i spend with her,
and what i see is more a reflection of myself and my siblings than a separate individual.
i love my mom,
yet, it saddens me to know how alike and ‘one’ we all are
i had a hope, an idea that, maybe,
just maybe, i was unique,
ya know, my own being!
hopes
fears
dreams
love
loss
lust
anger
hatred
and a million other nameless feelings and things.
so much for one soul to bear
though ‘tis quite common in today’s youth.
whether we choose such a lifestyle for ourselves,
or it is chosen for us
we still are left with just two (maybe more) choices:
to grin and bear it, or,
to end it all and put us out of our misery
or, shall i say…miseries!
some are able to make that decision without a second thought
while others still sit and question themselves
without receiving any answers, mind you!
perhaps i choose to be of that ‘mind’,
or perhaps i am somewhere in-between
maybe…i am nowhere at all…
either way, it doesn’t matter
i fear to hate
yet hate to be!!
beauty and feelings
how do you judge beauty? is it a feeling?
if you feel beautiful, does that mean you are?
if you feel you are hideous, and someone else tells you otherwise,
are you truly ugly because that is how you feel,
or are you a beauty just because that man/woman says you are?!
why is the word ‘hate’ associated with such bad things?
it sounds, looks, and feels more beautiful than ‘love’ to me
love is just too overwhelming and almost impossible to grasp and deal with.
if pain is a bad thing,
why is it so frequent and strong?
and if love is supposed to be able to ‘conquer all’ then why is it often lost?
and why should there be a need for time to heal from the loss of that which is meant to be eternal?
how can the truly ‘good’ things…cause so much pain?
questions of old…being raised anew,
yet still we find no answers.
very well, then, i say.
for only if we are meant to have the answers,
shall we have them.
or so they say…
~ Rhiannon
9/6/99
