I was living about a hundred miles from my grandparents and parents. I was still in school, but on my own and going through the finances of a typical twenty something. (i.e. always broke, but having plenty for that latest and greatest computer which sets on concrete block furniture.)
Anyway, I had found time to go down and visit my family, so off I went. Laundry in hand. Ok, the last part isn't true. It was in a garbage bag, which was clean.
As I rolled into the little town that was the suburb of the raging metropolis of (20,000 + three or four cats per house) where my parents lived. I realized I needed gas. Home is nice, but it is good to be able to get away.
I pulled into a gas station, and as I was filling up I saw that a new car warsh errr car wash had opened next door. It was very shiny. very clean. and very new.
My little car was um not. The previous winter I had decided to take a can of spray paint to cover up the little scratches. I thought it was a good idea at the time. Anyway, from the dirt of the road and the dirt of my life, it was in desparate need of a good wash.
Thankfully, they were on special. What more could you want?
I finished gassing up my car, and then pulled next door. I drove up, punched in this sixteen zillon long code number from the gas station, and looked at the clean gentle slope that led to the entrance of the wash. A nice clean sign blinked
"Pull Forward"
The sign said that the car had an undercarriage wash. I know my car needed it. So, I started to creep forward to make sure that it did a good job.
"Pull Forward"
Pulling forward does not mean stopping. I sort of goofed on that. You see I went over the first little bump at the enetrance to the car wash, and this geyser started shooting up under my car. When I say a geyser, I mean a geyser. The pressure was incredible. My car of course sputtered and died on top of the geyser.
Old Faithful had met its namesake.
So what do you do. The car of course wouldn't start. The inside of my engine compartment was being flooded. The geyser wasn't stopping, and I wasn't sure what to do.
I got out and watched the river flow from my car and pushed it forward off of Old Faithful.
"Pull Forward"
Once I cleared the sensor, the gusher stopped. I got in my car and sat. Sat waiting for the river to dry up and my car to take pity on my stupidity.
After about fifteen minutes, the car started. I looked ahead and, yep, the sign was flashing
"Pull Forward"
So what do you do? The sides of my car were still dirty, and although the insides of my tires were squeaky clean, I didn't think my parents would be impressed. So, I pulled forward.
The sign finally switched to "Wash", and this hose on a wand started circling my car sudzing it up. I sat in my car and picked up the book I had started to read fifteen minutes prior. It was a good book. The wand kept racing around my car. I think it was chapter 3 when I realized that the wand was still running in suds mode around my car.
Now what was I going to do. The entire bay was filling with suds. This wand was going round and round and round my car. I thought briefly about trying to gun the engine between passes and race out of the bay, and that seemed like a better idea than abandoning the car to the squeaky clean wash. I started to back up and then the wash sign changed.
"Rinse"
What did I have to lose? I went back to my book, as the wand switched modes once more. It went around for a long time, but finally seemed to be getting tired of changing my car's paint color. When it stopped. It stopped right smack dab in front of my car. As if daring me. The sign blinked.
"Pull Forward"
I backed out.
