Psychopathic Women and the Men They Leave Behind
Oh yes, ladies, it's your turn tonight. Men are an easy target because they bring so much shit upon themselves. However, there are many of us that do some pretty stupid things and I think it's about time, we get a woman's perspective on the shit we do.
Since people are such poor adaptations of living creatures, it's easy to categorize us. Therefore, I am going to break us up into groups. Where you fall is your thing. Do not assume and do not for a moment think that you do not fall within one of the mainframes of what I'm about construct.
1) Poor Pitiful Pearl: These are the women who have the victim routine down. These women will constantly whine about every fucking little let down in their lives and will continue to blame everything in their lives on every fucking little mishap. These women are never the culprits and they're never at fault for anything. Whatever their problem is, it's your fucking fault and if you don't believe me, just ask them. They will constantly remind you of how YOU fucked up and how YOU are to blame because their lives suck. These women are in need of medication. I would recommend Lithium, Prozac, Zoloft, or in extreme cases a Thorazine Drip may be needed to knock the bitch out for awhile so that YOU can get a break from her bullshit. Either way, it would be wise for men to stay away from this type of woman. If you're extremely sexual and it's just about sex, for God's sake, use Rosie and her five sisters. At least she won't be upset at you if your little guy doesn't "perform," and reminds you that every man she's ever been with fails to please her.
2) The Bitch Syndrome: First let me explain this one carefully. Notice it says, The Bitch Syndrome. This is for women who give the word BITCH a bad name. Many of us, [me inlcuded] take our bitchery very serious and will not hesitate to use eye rolls, rude comments and blatant harassment to get our way. Women who have the bitch syndrome are those who only wish they had what it takes to be a true bitch. You cannot pretend to be a bitch. Your ass is or it isn't. Take a bitch friend of mine. She's a tried and true bitch in every sense of the word. If you come to work and smell like shit, she will tell you, "You smell like shit." If your hair looks awful, she'll point and laugh at you. It isn't personal, it is what it is, get over it. Women who don't take their bitchery serious will pretend to be bitches, while being overly sweet to some jack-off who doesn't deserve it....just because they felt sorry for them. A real bitch is never sweet to retards. We point, laugh and make fun of them. It is what it is...get over it.
3) The Cuntess of Cuntville: Some women can be bitches (which we'll explore later) and be cunts as well. A Cuntess of Cuntville is a woman who has bypassed all trials and tribulations of bitchdom and has moved on to the next level....Cuntingness. A Cuntess will chew you up and spit you out in a heartbeat. Sometimes she will do this simply because she's bored. These women are beautiful and everybody wants them. Men want to have sex with them and women want to be like them. The Cuntess will usually resort to collaring her lovers so that they know where their place is. If you don't know what collaring is, don't worry about it. Cunts in Waiting will serve their Cuntess until they are ready to pursue their own careers of making other's lives miserable. Why? Because they fucking can.
4) Puking Men Pleasers: This is perhaps my least favorite on the list of how women are. These are the women that never question the men in their lives. They do whatever the man tells them to do. They're meeley mouthed, "Yes Sir, No Sir" twats and it's really sickening. First of all, when a man is sitting on his fat, beer gutted ass and yells to a woman who is actually up and doing something to get him a beer, she has one duty, that is to go the frig, get the beer, go to him and throw it at his head as hard as she can. I would recommend bringing 2 beers, so if she misses she can chunk the other one at his sorry ass. When this same type of man bitches that his dinner isn't on the table, I would take the food that took hours to prepare and dump the shit in the trash can. Then scoop it out and feed it to the motherfucker. Then ask him how he likes his dinner. Lets not forget that these fat fuckers are the ones that couldn't get a woman off if his life depended on it. First of all, his fat ass beer gut is so big that he hasn't seen his own dick in how many years? ...and he's going to tell her that she needs to lose weight? Please dickwad, we've go to talk. He gets on top of her, sticks his little stubby dick in, gets off in a whopping 25 second fuck-a-thon and rolls over to go to sleep. That's when this woman should reach for her little buzzing friend and shove it right up that fuckers ass. Tell him he was just having a proctologist nightmare.
5) True Bitches: Ahhhh....a true bitch. There isn't a better kind of woman. The reason many men don't like us is because we don't take their shit. It's also because our balls are bigger than theirs and when I say to suck my dick, I mean it baby. Don't believe me? Let me put on my strap on....Got Dick?? Anyway, a true bitch will please any man in bed, provided that he isn't a total waste of human life and that he actually knows how to please a woman. We won't hesitate to tell you to fuck off and will pride ourselves in knowing that we made you cry. We're heartless and we don't give a fuck what you think. If you fuck up, we will not only point it out, but we will make sure your ass doesn't do it again. We may or may not want you exclusively. We reserve the right to choose the dicks we want to please us. We reserve the right to have as many dicks at one time as well. What we do is our business and fuck you if you don't like it.
Well folks, that concludes this hour of fun time with Liz. I'm well aware that I've left some women out. I'm too tired to write about them and have decided that they don't matter anyway, so who gives a fuck? I don't.
