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Beautiful LOve's blog: "Priceless"

created on 11/18/2006  |  http://fubar.com/priceless/b25858

The Rabbi

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims: "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds. Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor , stands and says: If the Rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education's of all his children!!" More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I vill give him sex!" There is total silence. The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?" Sadie's 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "F**k the Rabbi"

Priceless

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, "Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping-- Love you." He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?" Jack's son answers, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door!" Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'" Broken furniture - $85.26 Hot Breakfast - $4.20 Red Rose bud -$3.00 Two Aspirins -$0.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless!
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