---------- [...so i asked her name. hoping i could remember it. soon comes the handshake. my turn. insert clever prepared line. "it's Alex," i said. "like the Macedonian prince. without the -ander or the dreams of conquest." soften your grip; girls have frail handshakes. remember to smile...]
everyone wants to tell me in 10,000 words how great of a person they are. of course i've never met them and i'm supposed to believe it without question. i read profiles and it's all the same thing with a different author. everyone is friendly and upbeat; 20 pounds of sunshine in a 5 pound bag. their lives are all carebears and rainbows. they want to meet and intimately know everyone that comes their way. they're all looking for true love, which they can identify since they're in perfect tune with their emotions. everyone loves them and i should, too. they know exactly who and what they want in a boyfriend. their image is ideal and perfect. this is what she seeks in a man. they know exactly what to do with someone wonderful when he is handed over immediately. they care for all people in their lives with unrestrained and unconditional devotion. there's no strings. no hesitation, no paranoia.
i'm supposed to read every word, nod my head and think to myself "i like her".
i won't give you the privilege. you have to talk to me and dig for the information. every bit of it. your psychoanalysis of me will come in pieces as i see fit. you'll have to sit down with it all periodically and scramble them into a picture like a giant jigsaw puzzle. there's no sunny/grim outlook on life or love to get you started. there's no list of peeves and pleasures. there's no long paragraph filled with sentences that force you to read into them in order to get a slight glimpse of who i am. the only thing you have to go on is whether you find me attractive. you get no more from me in this profile than you would by looking at me from across the room in a bar.
make an effort. summon your courage and shoot into the dark. i dare you. i double dog dare you. ----------