Well, last night I watched Pretty Woman... One of my favorite movies. But, sometimes, it really makes me sad. I think every woman, at some point in their lives, has wished for that knight to come rescue them, from, whatever... And honestly, I still want that. I want to be rescued and taken away to a perfectly happy life, and live happily ever after... But, we all know that isn't going to happen, because here in reality, shit like that doesn't actually happen. There is always some bullshit, or always some, thing, standing in the way. Lindon, I was so in love with him. For the longest time, all i wanted was for him to tell me that he loved me, and wanted to be with me. We had a very rocky relationship... and after we split up, it just continued to get rockier. We'd have this on again off again, sex fling... Until this past summer... Thats when it all hit me... He doesn't love me... never will... Ya, we're good friends... I am sure he "cares" about me... but thats all that will ever be there... I had never been so crushed in my entire life, over a man. But to me, He was the perfect man. He basically blamed Lexi, for the reason why he couldn't be with me now... is that the truth? Fuck if i know... nor will i ever know.. I just do not want to know anymore... And dennis, wow... some days it's good, some days its bad... overall, i fucking hate him.... but he's the father of my kids... def. NOT a knight....
Then, there's my scott... He's an amazing guy... he's sweet, he takes me for me... knows a lot of shit about me, that, in all actuality, not even Lindon knows. He's helped me see kind of what men are supposed to be like... But, he is also, in Georgia... Great place to be, mind you... but not where I am... so, there goes that whole rescue...
For once in my life, i want to be in a relationship with someone I am compatable with, someone who cares about me, and can be there for me, when i truly neeeed them. I know scott would be, if he could... but he can't... so that kind of doesn't apply... but I just wish I were able to have a normal relationship with someone... like, you see on TV... but of course, that shit just is not real....
