Today is Fat Tuesday. So while Nawlins and other communities party up and get their debauchery on before Lent, it’s also Super Tuesday (Tuesday, TUESDAY, TUESDAY!!!!) This is when voters go to the polls and pretend to be directly involved in the marathon democratic process of electing our next president/commander-in-chief/emperor.
Some of you know I’m rather disappointed one key candidate dropped out because of poor primary showings. Democratic New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson probably had the best qualifications on paper. And Hispanic (mi raza) to boot. Alas, he didn’t make it far. He had neither the name recognition nor the fortune of living and serving a more populous state that today’s geography-strapped kids can easily identify on a map (“New Mexico? Is that under or next to Old Mexico?”)
Retired General Wes Clark, meanwhile, may have been a Republican in a past life, but has proven his Democratic late bloomer credentials, starting a website and political action committee to raise funds for Demo candidates nationwide. Alas, he didn’t want to get into this fight unlike he did late for the 2004 race.
So we’re left with four major candidates. On the Republican side, you have Arizona Senator John McCain, the so-called outspoken maverick, pseudo-campaign reformer and former POW who tagged his 2000 presidential campaign train “the straight talk express.” Fellow Repubs say he has worked too closely with Demos on occasion. And like most politicians, he has flip-flopped on myriad of things. Such as adopting several key conservative positions that he resisted eight years ago to appeal to moderate forces in his party (which are now virtually dormant). He's even claiming to be a Baptist instead of an Episcopalian. Oooh. Scary.
Then you have another so-called flip-flopper, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, who hopes to become the first president named “Willard.” Hmmm, I guess “Mitt” isn’t so bad after all. He has changed positions on issues such as abortion and gay rights. A Doonesbury cartoon half-joked that if one were to do a Google on “flip flop” and “Mitt Romney,” the return results would be so numerous they would essentially crash your computer. Even your Mac. But look at that amazing hair. Damn! Dude should pick Rick Perry as his running mate. Best coifed candidates ever. Who needs safety from terrorists or family values when you have indestructible hair?! I hear this scion of a Yankee political dynasty now is running as a populist. Bwhahaha!! Yeah, and I’m like Hurley on “Lost,” having won the lottery and unable to spend my millions for fear of bad luck and that thing about being on a deserted island.
Lest we forget former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who amazingly was born in the same place Bill Clinton came to life. The Baptist minister is far to the right as you can get. His political base of support doesn’t expand much outside that. Oh yeah, for those still counting, Ron Paul hasn’t given up. Although the college students and so-called libertarians hope he somehow pulls out a miracle. But really. C’mon. Get serious.
On the Democratic side, we have…well, we just have Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. That’s it. I mean, you’ve heard and read it all. In some respects, I have come to admire HRC over the years. She kinda does wear the pants in the family. Except now her name carries the same political stigma as Bush does. Obama has so much potential, progressive spirit and careful points. Some believe he could become a Kennedyesque national leader. But in 2012, not 2008.
Could an Obama/Clinton or Clinton/Obama ticket work? Maybe. I could conceive the possibility. You still need an existing Southern politico on the ticket for it all to work (which would have been the case with Clark or – to an extreme – Richardson). John Edwards lurks about as potential VP choice.
There also are rumblings of one, perhaps two, independents jumping into the fray. New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg, the Demo-turned-Repub-turned-whatever who has plenty of moderate-to-liberal takes on the issues, a seemingly even personality and enough money to run three presidential campaigns. He could be this decade’s Ross Perot without the annoying Texas twang, single-issue emphasis and peculiar “let’s look under the hood/like the crazy aunt in the basement” folksy charm. Additionally, Repub Alan Keyes thinks he can be the African-American Mike Huckabee in this race. Dude, give it a rest already. Even Jesse Jackson knew not to pursue the White House this many times.
An upcoming blog on the ’08 presidential race will focus on other independent and fringe candidates with whom you should get more familiar. That is, if you’re into average-joe freakshows who think they have the ability to become our next elected leader. Fun stuff, I tell ya!
A few more observations:
* Dammit! I needed a king cake today! That’s what I’ve been forgetting. Cripe! What am I giving up for Lent this year? I suppose another shot at putting aside alcohol, pixie sticks and cussing is in store for the next 40 days and nights.
* Finally got new wheels. A Toyota Corolla. So, here’s a toast to Japanese engineering and my rediscovered automobile-related peace of mind.
* Why did you and your kids have to go see Hannah Montana this past weekend in mass droves?! Why?! That only encourages “them” to do sequels and make Billy Ray Cyrus’ offspring that much more omnipresent. Do you REALLY want that?! Why?!
* I’ve just realized, I can’t give up alcohol, pixie sticks or cussing. They all go hand-in-hand.
* It’s lacrosse season again. Bring it on!
* If you haven't yet seen "Juno," do it now! You won't regret it. And get the freaking soundtrack while ya at it.
